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“I think we should have sex.”

William spat out the water he was drinking.

Buffy looked at him disgusted.

“Sorry,” he said, wiping the water off her book. “But I thought you just said that we should have sex.”

“Well that’s because I did.”

William looked at his best friend of eight years confused; one minute ago they had been lying on her bed studying as they did everyday after school and the next minute he was being propositioned.

They had met in the 5th grade. William had just been transferred from a boarding school in England. He had sat down at the desk beside her, pulled out a copy of Great Expectations, and when Buffy noticed William holding her favourite book she knew she would have a friend for life.

“What? Right now?” William looked around Buffy’s room suddenly aware that they were studying on her bed.

“No! Don’t be gross! Not now, but eventually. I mean we’re seventeen, Will. We are not getting any younger. You are my best friend. It just seems logical to me. I hear Harmony and her crew talking in the locker room after gym. They sleep with a guy and then have the stress and worry about ‘is he gonna call’? Will he ever speak to me again? If I have sex with you it kills two birds with one stone.” Buffy looked at him waiting for some kind of response. To her, he looked like a deer caught in headlights.

William sat stunned looking at Buffy. “What birds do you need to kill, pet?”

“Well there’s the whole awkward first time sex deal. It wouldn’t be awkward with you.” Buffy looked up at the shocked expression on William’s face.

“Well it wouldn’t be that awkward and I wouldn’t have to worry about whether you would call me the next day because as my best friend you would. And I hate to live the high schooler going to college cliché, but I really want to have sex before I go.”

Buffy was growing more and more impatient with William. She had worked this all out in her head and it made sense. It was the most logical thing to do; she couldn’t understand his problem.

“What about love, luv?” William finally found his voice. Buffy just stared at him. “I mean aren’t you girls supposed to dream about your first time with the rose petals on the bed, the passionate embrace and staring into the eyes of the man you love?”

Buffy looked away. “Life isn’t Mills and Boon, Will. I’m not stupid. Of course I dream about it, that’s the reason I want to do it this way.”

Will looked surprised.

“Are you saying that…?”

“I love you? No don’t be stupid!”

William pushed away a pang of disappointment at her statement.

“What I am saying is when I get to the Mills and Boon moment I want to be prepared. You know me, Will. I hate surprises. I just thought we could figure out how this works together so when we get to the real thing we don’t fail. You know how I hate to fail.”

“This isn’t chemistry, Buffy! What you are talking about is a big deal. Your first time should be special, loving.” William searched his brain for more girlie words as he looked up at the New Kids on the Block poster.

“No Will, my first time should be however I want it to be. That’s what I am saying. I want it to be with you.” Buffy looked at Will searching his blue eyes for some kind of answer.

For William the room had suddenly become really small and warm; he jumped up from the bed and started to pace around.

Buffy watched Will and rolled her eyes. What was the big deal? It was a simple yes-no question, and Will was acting like the very future of the world depended on his answer.

William’s mind was racing, so many thoughts at the same time: Buffy naked, yes. Ruined friendship, no. No longer being a virgin, yes. Sex without love, no. It was that thought that troubled him the most. He did love Buffy, in his own ‘you are my best friend because you get me better than anyone else I know’ way. But he wasn’t in love with her.

He knew as much because he was a red-blooded male (he didn’t get the Victoria’s Secret catalogue for the articles); however, he did have this old-fashioned notion that sex and love went hand-in-hand. But he was also a realist. He and Buffy were not high on the high school hottie list. Being intelligent and not afraid to show it were not really considered high values on the hottie scale. Throw in your glasses and stupid curly hair and he knew the odds of bagging a babe were not high.

Not that Buffy wasn’t pretty. It was just that she was… well…Buffy. His friend… his best friend. The one person who knew he wet the bed till he was eleven, the person who knew he cried in the Sound of Music, who…

Buffy watched as Will paced her room. She couldn’t figure him out. He was a guy. Why wasn’t he jumping at the chance to have sex even if it was with her? Buffy knew she wasn’t anything special. That was part of the reason she asked Will. In the back of her mind she always wondered if anyone would find her attractive ‘in that kind of way.’ She wasn’t under any grand illusions that one day some hot footballer would come up to her, take off her glasses, undo her pony tail and suddenly she would be an A class hottie.

She was short and small, she wanted to be a doctor and was willing to work hard to get there. She didn’t have time to dumb herself down in order to get a guy. She had plans to attend med school on a scholarship that she wouldn’t jeopardise on the off chance that some guy would look her way. But she didn’t think that she was so disgusting that Will wouldn’t want to help her out. She pushed a feeling of rejection to the back of her mind.

“Will?” He stopped pacing and looked up at Buffy. “You are wearing a hole in the carpet. I didn’t realise that sleeping with me was such a hard decision to make. Look, I’ll just ask someone else. I am sure someone wou…”

“No!” William replied a little too quickly in a voice he didn’t know he owned. “You are not asking anyone else!”

“Why not?”

“Because someone might … I don’t know… take you up on the offer!” William was really getting frustrated with her. For someone who claimed to be intelligent, didn’t she understand what she was asking?

“Well that’s kind of the point of asking the question, isn’t it?” Buffy sighed.

William looked at her, as much as the decision of whether to have sex with her was a complicated one, the decision to let someone else have sex with her was easy and instantaneous.

“No you won’t. I’ll do it.”





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