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This chapter is dedicated to Valerie, Veronica, Marla, spikette55 and everyone else at Heartsfalling Yahoo Group. You guys are the best. This story would still just be in my computer if it wasn't for you. Thank you all so much my the bottom of my heart. All of you have given me wings to fly, speedy fingers to type, and a muse that is effulgent.


Inside the Hyperion everyone could hear laughter throughout the building as two children had a blast playing hide and go seek with their father. Who always seemed to find them no matter what floor or what wing they were in. On the top floor, where wind was carried through the broken windows, they hid. This time it had taken him longer than before to find them, but they weren’t scared. Both of them knew that they only had to shout once before he heard and came running. The game had actually become less about the hiding and more about how long it would take Daddy to find them. So far they had eluded him for fifteen minutes and counting, but they knew he had to be getting close and decided at the last minute to change their location, which led them to the top floor. Their bodies were light enough that they never made a squeak on the old floor boards and they were skinny enough to get through the smallest openings. Since neither child was afraid of the dark there was any place in the old hotel that the children hadn’t wanted to explore.

Uncle Angel and Uncle Gunn had roped off the places that we did not allow them to go under any circumstances. They had told the children that the floors were really weak and wouldn’t even stand up to their slight weight. Neither child had dared yet to cross the boundary since they had access to the rest of the hotel and since the night that Adrian had almost been hurt when he fell partway through a floor.

Carefully covered in an old armoire they waited trying hard not to giggle and give themselves away when they heard their father’s bellowing voice coming from the stairway landing at the end of the long corridor.

“Fee, fie, fo, fum, I smell the blood of nice ripe children. When I find them, and you know I will I’m going to drink them dry and use their bones for kindling.” Spike in vamp face smelled the air catching his son and daughter’s unique scents and followed, his yellow eyes enhancing his vision in the near pitch blackness. He heard Alyssa stifle a giggle at his rant so much like her mother’s that it constricted his heart. Then he heard Adrian’s softer shushing.

“The Big Bad Vampire is going to eat the children for lunch when he finds them. Then he’s going to rip out their entrails and jump rope with them.” Spike made a big play of looking in each room and making as much noise as possible. Remembering their awe when he told them what he and Uncle Angel were, and what a part of them was. He had figured it was time when the children had caught him and Angel sparring in the lobby in game face. The fear on their faces had almost ripped his soul in two.

They had run from him and Angel and into a room on the fourth floor where Adrian had fallen through a section of rotted floor. The only thing that saved him from breaking a bone or possible death had been his T-shirt getting caught on the broken beam. It had only taken his father three minutes to find him, but the lesson stayed with him. Even fearful of her father Alyssa had screamed “Daddy” so loud that Spike’s ears rang from the reverberation. Since that night they never set one foot passed the ropes.

Spike had sat them down along with Angel and told them about vampires and where they came from. They were to never trust any other vampires other than him and Angel. If they ever saw one they were to run and hide as fast as they could. It had taken Spike wearing game face for two whole days before they were comfortable enough with it. Until it just what abilities the children possessed due to their mix of vampire and human blood became known, Spike was adamant about teaching them how to survive if any other vampires came along and tried to hurt them. That was the beginning of their games.

The idea for their game of hide and seek came from Dawn and how upset she had been as a kid, because Buffy for some reason would always be able to find her quickly whereas it would take Dawn forever to find Buffy. Little did they know as children that Buffy’s slayer abilities were already in play.

Hearing their father getting closer Alyssa and Adrian did what their father taught them to do, they quieted down forcing through sheer willpower their hearts too deathly slow and their breathing deep and long rather than short. Covered in the old dusty clothes left in the closet they knew their scent would be masked long enough for the game to continue. Closing their eyes, they opened their ears to all the sounds that could be heard. Sometimes they got so quiet and still that they could even see or hear each other. It was hard not to giggle at Daddy’s comments and sometimes they would give themselves away. But today was different, they didn’t want him to find them today. So staying very quiet and still, listening as he came closer.

Spike noticed their shift almost immediately. If he wouldn’t have known his children so well he never would have caught it. Almost like a light switch going off they were no longer on his vamp radar. Pride swelled his chest, this was the first time that they had successfully done it. His working with them every day had paid off. Now even a master vampire wouldn’t be able to pick them up. Walking back out the room door, he nodded for Angel who stood leaning against the wall at the door to the stairs.

This was something the children didn’t know about during their games. They thought it was just they and Daddy, but Spike had not told them about Angel. Angel would follow Spike stalking and lurking as was his specialty waiting for a signal from Spike. Today was the first day he had gotten the signal. It meant that Spike had lost them and now it was time to see if any other vampires could pick up what he didn’t. Spike’s intimate knowledge of his children was something that boggled Angel’s mind. Their bond was exceptionally strong, and was something he had wanted to have with Connor, but was never meant to be. It was at times like this when Spike’s bond was also a deterrent because he would ignore some subtle clues that Angel would pick up on.

As if on wings Angel seemed to glide to where Spike stood. His face vamping to get a better look at things. Opening his nose, he breathed deep for any clues. Catching their very faint smell, he motioned Spike to a door at the end of the hall.

Angel sniffed around knowing the children had definitely been in the room and recently as their faint scent was still fresh. Opening his mind even more, he tried to find them. Going back to the hall he sniffed around to see if they had left the room, walking forward he caught their scent again and followed it until he found himself running in circles. Knowing he wasn’t getting anywhere with their scent except dizzy he felt pride. They had succeeded in blocking that out, now it was time to try to hear them. Opening his ears, he tuned into every sound that was around. Down the hall he could hear a mouse scuttle across the floor, along with Spike’s faint heartbeat and slight breath. Opening more he could hear Wesley slamming the filing cabinet shut downstairs and Cordelia pouring another cup of coffee, which why was she drinking coffee anyway. If they had any hopes of starting a family then she was going to have to lay off the coffee and didn’t he see her reach for a third donut this morning.

Closing out the other thoughts he focused yet again on the children walking down the hallway and a little way into each door. Once at the end he found himself retracing his steps in circles. They had backtracked so many times it was making his senses dizzy. He like Spike immediately felt pride, they had done it. The children had completely masked themselves from both him and their father. Now all they had to do was find them so they could congratulate them.

Spike and Angel both looked at each other and smiled. They would now be able to use the signal they and the children had worked up to let them know the coast was clear and they could come out now. On the count of three both vampires let out loud growls much like that of a lion calling its cubs.

Alyssa and Adrian giggled with glee at the growls that shook the room. They had finally done it and had won the game. Moments later their covers were thrown off and they were hauled into the strong arms of their father each one of them wrapped around a different arm. Arms that were attached to hands that start their immediate tickling under both children thought for sure they would have to run for the bathroom.

“I’m so proud of both of you. You did a fine job.” Knowing that his children would be able to protect themselves in some small way was a big relief for Spike.

“Can we have our treat now Daddy?” Alyssa, her eyes shining brightly with all the joy of childhood hugged her father around the neck her small head fitting perfectly in its crook. Adrian followed suit until both children were tucked into their father

“Please Daddy, you promised.” Adrian whispered in Spike’s ear.

“That I did poppet. And yes you may, then its off to bed. Both of you look a little worn out.”

“First lunch and then you may have your prize.” Spike carried them both downstairs to the kitchen still every bit in love with the way they felt next to him as the first time he held them.

Angel walked behind the family in awe, not only at his childe’s skill as a father and with envy. He hoped beyond anything that soon he would be able to do the same with his own. There were times like know that his arms would give anything to hold Connor that way again, close and safe.

He continued to watch and brood as Spike and the children made their favorite lunch of mini pizzas and buffalo wings. Making a mess of the kitchen and having so much fun that Angel laughed at their antics. Taking note when Spike went from childlike himself to an adult in 2.2 seconds when Alyssa burned her finger on the stove. He watched as Spike ran the finger under water then took a bandage and ointment from the first aide kit. Angel almost had to turn away as Spike bent down and kissed his daughter’s finger before pulling her in a hug and wiping away her tears. The blast of love in the room was so powerful that it choked him up, wishing as a child he would have had a father such as Spike was to his children, warm, open and loving without condemnation. It was the kind of father he wanted to be and missed becoming with Connor. Leaving the eating family in the kitchen, he went out to the office, snatched Cordelia’s hand and raced with her upstairs to a free bedroom.

Spike in the kitchen watched as his children started dozing off before they had finished their lunch. Poor sprites had really worn themselves out, they were going to have to wait for their prize, a nap was definitely in order. Gently scooping them up in his arms, he took them upstairs to the room the three of them had absconded as their own. Grateful Angel had decided on another floor to spend time with his wife. Spike could hear their moans and sighs coming from the floor above, but thankfully the children would not.

Stripping off their shoes he laid them down and tucked them in, they had fallen fast asleep on the walk up. Stealing out of the room he returned to the kitchen and cleaned up the mess before coming back into the room. Taking off his boots, he sat next to the children and pulled out his journal.

It’s the eighth month now luv. Eight months since you’ve been gone, but the first month that I have been a father. No research we have done in any way has lead to anything, no prophecy, no nothing really. Either they slipped underneath all radars somehow, which makes them true miracles, or we aren’t meant to find out yet.

A while ago I would have never thought that something would come along that I would love as much as you. But instead of a something, I have two. Two wonderful reasons to enjoy every day of life. I hope that when the time comes you will love them as much as I. I look at them an they amaze me, how much of me I see in them. Not just the me parts that is Spike, but the me that is William. Maybe what the demon that is vampire just brings the darkness that lies in all of us to the front, extinguishing the light.

I can tell you honestly that even as William I had the urge to destroy. The night I was turned I could have tapped into that anger very easily. To be ridiculed in front of your peers by your peers all of your life, all it takes is a breaking point. Who knows what would have happened that night if Drusilla wouldn’t have turned me. Maybe my soul would have been sent to hell all on its own. It was William that wanted the revenge, but let the demon take it for him in the way of railroad spikes. I was so hurt and angry that night I could have done it, if not that then ended my own life because of the misery. Being a vampire helped me use the hurt and anger to my own advantage, because never again was I going to be made a fool. More the fool I. I should have looked at my so-called friends back them and realized that they weren’t my friends and went to strides to find a group that would accept me for who I was. A pathetic man and a bloody awful poet.

Now I have not only family, but friends that accept me for who I am inside. The man I have become not the man I’m not or was. That means an incredible amount to me, not only for me but for Alyssa and Adrian. They get to be brought into a family that truly loves and cares for one another. The only thing I worry about is the children seeing the horrors that we see on a daily basis at such a young age. I brood on it every day, so much that even Peaches has noticed. Never said anything about it mind you, but he’s noticed.

I know I want to be close to you that it tears my heart apart to be away from you for as long as we have. But I have to think of them. LA’s not a good place for them. They need room to run and play, have a dog and live the life of normal children. Because you know as well as I that they will never be entirely normal children. Having a father who’s a vampire makes them different. I can already tell. They have abilities that regular humans don’t have. The added strength, hearing and smell. They don’t know it and I have no desire right now to tell them. But there will come a time when they will need to know. Hopefully that day will be far away.

Twice now we’ve had attempts to take the children. Not because anyone knows their lineage, but because here they are the venerable link in our chain. Luckily Angel and I were able to stop them before the children even found out, but they are in danger here, and I may have no choice but to move them to a spot where I can keep them safe and away from any demon finding out who their father is. Which means that I will have to leave you behind to keep my children from harm.

Dawn still has not lifted her ban on me seeing you, and there are times like now when I want to rip out her spine. I want to see your face, to talk to you and pull you through. I love you more than my own life Buffy and it is tearing me up inside to know that I will have to choose. You may yet again have a man leave you for his own selfish reasons. I only pray that you will hold no grudge against my children, for taking me away from you at a time when you need me. But they are mine and I must do what is best for them, even if it means leaving you behind for now.

Know this Buffy that I love you with everything that I am and will until I walk this world no longer, but I have to do what’s right. You taught me that love, no matter what, we have to do what’s right, even if we hurt other’s in the process.

With all my love
William.





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