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Chapter 8: Over


Spike dialed his home number.

“William?” Giles’ worried voice asked anxiously.

“Yeah, Dad, it’s me. I…I want to say that I’m sorry for what happened earlier. I feel terrible about it. I’ve been…I’ve been through a lot and you didn’t deserve what I did. I’m sorry.”

Giles sighed. “William, you have to stop seeing that woman.”

“I did. I broke it off tonight. After what happened, I knew that she was destroying me. It’s over between me and Drusilla.”

“Thank God…” Giles said with relief. “I’m sorry….I’m sorry that I didn’t do anything before, when I found out what she did to you. I should have put you in therapy….had her arrested…something.”

Spike still wasn‘t thrilled about his dad reading his personal journal, but let it go for now. “Don’t blame yourself, Dad. For tonight, I need to be alone. I’m…staying at a motel. But I’ll be home in the morning.”

“Alright, but I want us to have a long talk when you get home.”

Spike cleared his throat, he wasn’t looking forward to that talk, much less slipping in all of the lies into the conversation. “Yeah, I know we need to talk about all of it….Bye, Dad.”

“Goodbye, William.”

They hung up.

Spike sighed and leaned back against the couch.

Buffy rubbed his shoulder. “You did good, Spike. Is Giles okay?”

“Yeah, he said he was okay. I feel so bloody awful for pushing him against the wall…I was like a beast--out of my mind.”

“He loves you, he’ll understand that Drusilla was making you crazy. Do you…want something to drink, or anything?” she asked.

“No, I’m so bloody tired. Today has been exhausting.”

“I’m pretty tired too. You….want to go to bed?”

Spike nodded.

They went upstairs, taking their turns washing up in the bathroom.

Buffy waited for him in bed, in her nightgown.

Spike got into bed with her, wrapping his arms around her.

“The bad stuff is over, Spike. We can relax now.”

“I’m still nervous. I won’t believe it’s over for a while.”

Buffy started kissing his neck. “I missed you.”

“I…missed you too, pet.”

“Spike, maybe….you should talk to someone.”

“I’m talking to you…what do you mean?”

Buffy bit her lip. “I mean someone professional. Dru did horrible things to you. Things that I can’t help you with.”

“No, I’m not going to some sodding psychiatrist.”

“Spike, you need to talk to a therapist. She violated you in the worst way. Please, it will help you feel better.”

“No. Say I do go to a shrink, I’ll have to lie to keep you out of trouble. I can’t do that. The lies are piling up on each other. If I can‘t tell the truth to my therapist, then what good is it?”

“There are other ways you can vent your emotions and get some help. There are phone lines for teens in trouble, and the internet. There are so many chat rooms for teenagers that need help. No one will know it’s you. Please, try. For me?”

He sighed. “Okay….for you.”

Buffy hugged him. “I love you, baby. I just want you to get it all out and start to heal.”

“God….I feel like I’m in a bloody ‘After School Special’.”

She smiled at him, then kissed him. “I just want to make sure you feel better.”

“I’m fine,” Spike said petulantly.

“Spike,” she touched his face, “you broke down and cried when you came here to give me the note….”

He turned his face away from her. He felt ashamed for crying like a nancy-boy in front of her.

“Don’t be ashamed,” Buffy knew how he must feel about what happened. “I’m the woman you love, right?”

He nodded, his chin trembled.

“Never be afraid to show me how you’re feeling. You wouldn’t like it if I bottled up my feelings, would you?”

Spike closed his eyes. “I just feel so….weak and stupid. I didn’t want you to see that side of me.”

“Spike, I want to see every side of you.” Buffy stroked his face. “Whether you like it or not, I’m going to be with you forever. We’ll move in together, maybe get married someday….” His eyes widened. “Someday way, way in the future. Not unless it’s what we both want. Don’t freak out on me about the marriage comment. I’m not one of those woman who have to be married. We can just live in sin.”

She got a little smile out of him.

Spike kissed the bridge of her nose. “You always know what to say….Sin can be fun.”

Buffy kissed him. “Sin can be a lot of fun.” She instinctively knew that he needed time to get over what Dru put him through. She wouldn’t try to initiate sex, he had to be the one. When he was ready.

“Do you…want to….do it?” he asked.

“By it, you mean sex…yes. But being close to you again, feeling your arms around me….this is what I really need.”

He hugged her closer. “Thanks, pet. I do want you…it’s just…”

“Shhh,” she put a finger over his lips, then gave him a gentle kiss. “You don’t have to explain anything. I don’t care how long it takes. I want you to be comfortable and happy before we make love again. Just hold me.”

He sighed and rested against her warm body. “I love you so much, Buffy. I don’t know what I did to deserve someone like you…”

“I need you, Spike. You are the one that I’ve waited for my whole life….Let’s get some rest.” She gave him a light kiss on the mouth.

Spike smiled. “Yeah, okay.” He felt so bloody lucky to have her. She really did love him, not like that mental-case Drusilla. Buffy’s love was real and powerful. She would do anything for him. Anything to make him happy.

They cuddled up together and slept.


TBC….





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