Chapter 5: Concern


The next day at school was agonizing for both Spike and Buffy.

Buffy had considered calling in sick. Her eyes were puffy from crying, her hands hurt from punching anything and everything in her home (pretending that it was Spike or Dru‘s faces), and she was going on very little sleep. But she still had a job to do. It was better than sitting at home and feeling sorry for herself.

The worst part was that whenever Buffy had broken up with a guy in the past, she always had her friend Willow’s shoulder to cry on. But she couldn’t tell Willow about the relationship, much less how Spike had so cruelly betrayed her and broken her heart.


Spike dreaded walking into homeroom that day. He wouldn’t be able to look her in the eye after last night. She hated him. Hell, he hated himself.

There was minimal eye contact between them as he entered. They both looked sharply away. Spike could see the pain written all over her face, it broke his heart in two. Maybe he could get away with telling her the truth? If they were careful and pretended that Buffy didn’t know…He didn’t want to hurt her anymore.

Spike headed to his seat at the back of the classroom with the fellow riff-raffs. They were giving him the cold shoulder lately. They were pissed that he never hung out with them anymore, and how he had become teacher’s pet, like some kind of nerd.

His friend Diesel shook his head at Spike. “You look like shit, man.”

“I feel worse than I look,” Spike said sitting down.

“Hangover?” Diesel asked.

“Yeah, something like that.”

Amanda, another one of his friends, who preferred to be called ‘Nails’, spoke up. (She was called Nails because she liked to scratch people when fighting, sharp fingernails could do some damage) “Studying hard, Spike? When did you become a geek?” She had a major crush on him and hated that he didn’t hang out with them over the last month.

“Give me a break, Nails. I just want to get out of this sodding school.”

Buffy scowled at them. “If you’re done with your conversation, I’d like to get to roll call.”

Amanda shrugged and slumped at her desk, “Go ahead. Whatever.”

When Buffy called on Spike, she called him ‘William Giles’, unlike the other times. It was a little jab at him to let him know that she no longer cared to be on his good side by calling him by his nickname.

“Here,” Spike said dejectedly.

They both didn’t think they’d make it through homeroom, but they did, somehow. No eye contact. Buffy focused on the other students. And he chose to stare at his desktop.

There were multiple sighs of relief when the bell rang, and it was time to go to the first class. Spike stayed behind a moment longer than the other students. He went to stand in front of her desk.

“Buffy, there’s something I need to--”

“Save it, Spike,” she said, not looking up at him. “I don’t want to hear anything you have to say. Get out of here and onto your class.”

“But--”

She looked him in the eye, her eyes filled with hurt and pain. “I said, leave. I never want to talk to you again.”

“Buffy, there’s something that you should know, I--”

“Let’s get one thing straight. From now on, you only refer to me as ‘Miss Summers’.” Buffy kept checking the door out of the corner of her eye, making sure their conversation wouldn’t be overheard. “And thank you so much for last night.”

“I’m so sorry. I never meant to hurt you. Let me explain, please.”

Buffy laughed without mirth. “Explain? I think it’s self-explanatory. Nothing you could ever say or do would ever make me forgive you. I’ll never get that image out of my mind. You make me SICK and I want nothing more to do with you. We have nothing else to say to each other. Get out.” Buffy went back to her paper work.

Spike felt defeated. He left quietly.


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Spike didn’t show up at school for a week. He couldn’t face Buffy after what he’d done. She was worried, despite how much she hated him right now. Was he sick? Probably caught something from that bitch, Dru.

One night, just as she was finishing dinner, the phone rang.

“Hello?” she answered.

“Hello, Miss Summers. It’s Rupert Giles.”

“Oh…hi, Giles.”

“I’m sorry to bother you, but I need to talk to you.”

Oh shit! Buffy thought. Had he found out about her affair with his son? “Okay….”

“I’m worried about William. He’s been acting strangely lately. You’re the only other person who is close to him. I hoped that you could help me ascertain what the problem is. May I come over and talk to you about it?”

“Um, sure.” Buffy wasn’t comfortable with this, but she couldn’t refuse without a good explanation.

“Thank you. I’ll be over shortly. Goodbye.”

“Goodbye…”

Buffy didn’t want to talk about Spike, especially with his father. But she was boxed into a corner on this one.


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15 minutes later, the doorbell rang.

Buffy steeled herself and opened the door. “Hi, Giles.”

“Hello.”

“Please, come in.”

They went into the living room. He sat on the couch, she sat on the chair adjacent to the couch.

“I’m concerned about William,” Giles said.

“What…are you concerned about, specifically?”

“He’s been moody, lately. I’m worried that he might be using drugs.”

“Well, teens….do experiment sometimes. I hope he isn’t doing that.”

“How has he seemed at school?” Giles asked.

“Giles, Spike hasn’t been to school for a week. I thought he was sick. They should have contacted you about it.”

“What? Then where the hell does he go when he leaves in the morning?”

“Um, I think I might know. Spike and I don’t talk much anymore. We had a…disagreement. About a woman he’s seeing.”

Giles looked at her. He frowned. “William is seeing someone? He didn’t say anything to me about it.”

“Her name is…Drusilla.”

He looked at her seriously. “Drusilla Kilbourne?”

“You know her?”

“I know of her.”

“Spike told you about her?”

“No. Good Lord…I knew I should have done something…”

“Huh?”

Giles looked down, not proud of himself. “Shortly before we came here, I saw a change in William’s behavior. I was concerned. So, one night, when he went out, I went into his room and found his journal. I read it I found out what happened between them.”

“Oh…”

“I was shocked, to say the least. I would have hated my parents if they did that to me. But….I didn’t do or say anything about it since it was over between them. Dammit, I should have done something! I didn’t want to embarrass him…”

“Don’t’ blame yourself, Giles.”

“How can I not? I should have reported that rapist to the police. Now she’s back and beguiled him again.”

Buffy tried to hide her feelings. “First loves can be…hard to get over.”

“Well, I’m going to put an end to this!. That woman won’t seduce my son twice!”

Yes Buffy thought. Make her go away.

“You should have a father-son talk with Spike.”

“I will. I just don’t know how to begin.”

“You have to make him stop seeing her. She’s a horrible woman. You have to. You have to have a long talk with him. It won’t be easy, but it’s long overdue.”

“I know that you’re right, Buffy. I just dread it.”

“I understand. But you have to do it, Giles. If you don‘t, she‘ll ruin his life.”

Giles took a deep breath, then stood up. “I’m going back home right now and confront him about it.”

“It’s the right thing to do, “ Buffy said. She hoped that Giles would break them up for good. Not that she wanted Spike back after what he’d done. Though, she still loved him, God help her. She just wanted Dru to be history.

“Thank you for your help, Buffy. I think I can do it.”

“No problem, Giles. “ Buffy felt bad about lying to him. But Spike needed to be forced away from that bitch.


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Spike hated himself for what he’d done. He had hurt Buffy and let himself be used by a psychopath. Nothing mattered anymore. He would kill Dru (and himself), but he had to get to and destroy those tapes first. He didn’t want Buffy to get into trouble. That’s all he thought about: How could he make Dru hand over those videotapes…

Giles went into Spike’s bedroom. Spike was lying on the bed listening to the Sex Pistols with his eyes closed, nodding his head to the beat.

Giles turned off the stereo. Spike sat up, frowning.

“William, I need to speak to you.”

“I’m busy,” Spike said removing the headphones, then picking up a magazine.

Giles took the magazine away from him.

“What’s your problem?! Just leave me alone!” Spike said, irritated.

“I said that I need to speak to you.”

Spike rolled his eyes. “Fine. What’s so important?”

“William, are you doing drugs?”

Spike laughed. “No.” Of course he did drugs. He smoked, drank beer and took those weird pills that Dru made him take.

“Then why are you acting so differently?”

Spike shrugged. “Wasn’t aware I was acting different.”

Giles crossed his arms. “How’s school been for you lately?”

“School is school.”

“And your tutoring sessions? Making progress?”

”I guess so.”

“Have a girlfriend I should know about?”

“What’s with all the questions, Dad?”

Giles uncrossed his arms and became angry. “You lie so easily.”

“What?”

“I know, for a fact, that you haven’t been to school in a week!”

“Shit,” Spike muttered, rolling his eyes.

“And I know that you haven’t been tutored by Miss Summers. Where do you go when you tell me your going to you’re sessions?”

“How do you know all this?”

“Because I was concerned and called Miss Summers. She told me the truth.”

“It’s my life! I can do whatever I want.”

“That’s where you’re wrong, young man. As long as you live under my roof, you’ll follow my rules. The topper was finding out that you‘re seeing that Drusilla woman again.”

Spike looked at him warily. “How do you know about her?” He had never even mentioned her name to his father.

“You were acting so strange before we left for the States. I was worried about you. When you went out one night, I read your journal.”

Spike jumped off the bed, full of fury. “That was my personal property! You had no right to read that!”

“I’m your father. I have every right.”

“I can’t believe that you invaded my privacy like that! You bastard!”

“Don’t’ you ever speak to me like that again, William!” Giles tried to reign in his own temper.

“I’ll speak to you, however I like!”

“You need to stay away from that woman. She seduced a 13-year-old boy, for God’s sake! She‘s a pedophile!”

“I don’t need this shit,” Spike said getting off of the bed. Things were getting worse by the minute. Now his father knew about Dru. There was no way he could explain why he was with her. He grabbed his duster and left the bedroom.

Giles followed him. “Just where do you think you’re going?! You’re staying right here, William!”

“I’m getting out of this fucking house! I hate you!”

Giles grabbed him by the forearm and turned him around. “You are to go straight to your room and not come out until I say!”

Spike grabbed Giles by the shoulders and shoved him hard against the wall, making him bounce with the force. Giles was too stunned to do or say anything. Spike held him there, his teeth bared and hatred in his eyes.

“I come and go as I please. Got it? It’s my bloody life!” With that, he gave his father one more shove, then backed off. Giles just stared at him. William had never laid a hand on him or talked to him like this before.

Spike whirled around and went out the front door, slamming it shut.

Giles was taken aback. His son had never talked or treated him like that before. Something was seriously wrong with his son..


Spike drove two blocks, before he pulled over. He felt horrible for how he treated his dad. He felt like he was losing his mind.

He’d actually hurt his father…He’d apologize in a note. Spike spent a few moments, weeping in his car. “I’m sorry, dad….” he whispered.

There was one last thing to do. Leave Buffy a letter. He wanted her to understand.

Dru’s presence had changed him. He was angry and bitter. He acted out, like he had with his father.

Spike had a plan. He put pen to paper and told Buffy the whole truth. He never intended on her seeing him again.





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