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Chapter 22: Under the Weather


[A/N: There is no actual sex in this chapter. But there are references to threesomes and such *g*]


Buffy was curled up on her side in a near-fetal position, wearing her Yummy Sushi pajamas. Her eyebrows formed a V, her lips were pouty--she wasn't happy. It was 'her time of the month' and she felt like shit. The birth control she'd been on had really been a Godsend the last few months, there were hardly even any symptoms: she'd hardly had cramps, her mood stayed buoyant and her periods only lasted a few days. But for some reason, this month was worse. The pain was terrible, she was bloated, felt ugly and gross. The urges to burst into tears or rip someone's face off, came and went.

Spike felt bad for her. He couldn't imagine what it must be like to have pain like she was obviously having. And she looked so sad. Her cute, little eyebrows were furrowed. Her adorable mouth was pouting. Spike wanted to fuss over her, do everything that he could to make it easier. He'd take care of her and make her feel better. That was his mission.

Spike sat next to her on the bed, putting a hand on her hip and rubbing lightly. "Hey, how are you feeling, luv?"

Buffy muttered something.

"That good, huh?" Spike joked. "Aw, my poor girl." He kissed her on the hip through the covers. "You want me to open the window? Some fresh air might do you good?"

Buffy shrugged and grumbled.

Spike went to the window and opened it up.

"Close the blinds! I have a headache!" Buffy growled.

"Right! Sorry, luv!" Spike closed the blinds, blinking at the decidedly, unsexy growl in her voice. "There. Want me to get you some aspirin?"

She shrugged, pulling the covers tighter around herself. Buffy turned her head to look up. She curled up her lip and made a 'bleugh!' sound at her reflection.

"Cover that fucking mirror!" she said, hiding her face. "I look like shit!"

"Oh!" Spike looked up at the mirror, then raced to push the button that made a panel slide over the mirror. He breathed out and smiled when it was covered. "All gone."

Buffy checked to make sure she wouldn't be able to see herself and nodded. She mumbled something and tried getting comfortable again.

"Hey, how about some soup? You hungry?"

"No."

"Come on, Buffy." He smiled. "You need to eat something, pet. Don't want you wasting away. We have Chicken Noodle, Chicken and Dumplings, Minestrone--"

"Not hungry," she said, her forehead getting more scrunched up.

"Nonsense. I'll make you something. Where was I? Oh yeah, Minestrone, Chicken and Stars, Vegetable Beef, Vegetarian Veg--"

"I told you, I'm not fucking hungry!" Buffy snapped. "I just want to rest. Leave me alone!"

Spike blinked. He'd never seen her look or sound so pissed at him before. Hurt and anger stabbed at him
.
"What did I...Fine," Spike said tightly then left the room.

Buffy grumbled about stupid men and burrowed under the covers.


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A few hours later, Spike sat at the table in the kitchen, looking and feeling miserable.

His face rested on his hand, he was slumped down with his arms on the table. He flicked at a napkin. Buffy had hurt his feelings earlier. He was only trying to help her and she yelled at him.

"See if I go out of my way to take care of her again," he mumbled.

But he had already done extra things for her since leaving her room in a huff. An hour later, he'd snuck back in with a bottle of pain pills and a glass of water. He’d gingerly set them on the nightstand and tiptoed back out, shutting the door with a soft click.

Spike was unhappy with himself for doing that. He felt like a punkass bitch for caving in and still catering to her after she bitched at him. But...no matter how shitty she'd been, he felt compelled to take care of her. No doubt she could use the medication, even if she said she didn't want anything. He felt stupid for taking it so hard, but he didn't like it when she looked at him or talked to him like that. It wounded him.

‘God...I’m a git,’ he thought dejectedly.

Xander came into the kitchen, going to the refrigerator. He started to open the door when he noticed Spike. He smiled and put his hands on his hips.

"You still brooding in here?" Xander asked.

"'m not brooding," Spike brooded.

"Brooding, fretting, moping, sulking--Take your pick of terms. Any of them apply."

Spike grimaced, "Very funny. Leave me alone, you big bully."

Xander laughed, leaning against the fridge. "You still upset that she cranked out on you?"

"What do you think? Yeah, I'm still upset." Spike pouted, ripping little pieces off the napkin.

Xander rolled his eyes. "You grew up surrounded by women your entire life. Your mom, cousins, aunts...I think your cousin Wesley is the only young male in the family besides you. How is it that you didn't learn to take things in stride and keep your distance at...'these times'?"

"None of the women in my family ever seemed any different. I'd heard that there could be mood swings and such, but...I never experienced them first hand. Kinda scary."

"Damn straight!" Xander said. "Don't let it bother you, man. Buffy will probably be back to her old self tomorrow."

"Um...Hi," Buffy said in the doorway.

Spike sat up. "You alright, pet?"

"Yeah...I wanted to say...I'm sorry for being mean to you before," Buffy said sheepishly. "You were trying to be sweet and I...acted like a bitch from Hell."

Spike smiled, feeling a million times better already. He stood up and opened his arms. Buffy grinned and shuffled over to him in her pink bunny slippers. She sighed and snuggled against his chest. Spike folded his arms around her, stroking her back. Xander stood back and watched, smiling himself.

"It was so sweet of you to leave the medicine and water for me...even after I was a big meanie."

"Don't mention it. I want you to feel better, petal."

Buffy sighed, loving when he used cute pet names for her. "Forgive me?" she asked, looking up into his eyes.

"Of course. You're not feeling well, it's not your fault." He kissed her on the tip of her nose.

"Thanks for understanding, baby," Buffy cooed, stretching up to kiss his lips. "I was just so miserable, and I took it out on you. I'm sorry."

"I told you, it's okay. You hungry? You haven't eaten all day. This time, I won't play waiter and list every single food item we have in the house," Spike joked.

Buffy giggled, her stomach rumbled at the same time, making them both giggle.

"I guess that's a 'yes' on the hunger issue."

"Yeah, I'm kind of...peckish." Buffy smiled.

"How 'bout that leftover Chinese food?" Spike suggested. "I can heat up a plate for you?"

Buffy rubbed her stomach and licked her lips lightly. "That sounds good. Do we still have some steamed dumplings, prawns and peapods?"

"Yeah, I think we got lots of that stuff left."

"I...wouldn't mind having that."

"Then it's settled," Spike kissed her again. "You go back to bed and get comfy. I'll heat you up a plate and give you dinner in bed."

"Oh, you're so good to me." Buffy hugged him tight.

Spike's eyes bugged out a bit at the strength she exhibited, but didn't let on that he couldn't breath. "I love you," he wheezed.

"Aww! I love you too!" Buffy's voice broke, tears escaped from the corners of her eyes, wetting his t-shirt.

"Don't cry, luv."

"Can't help it!" she sniffed, wiping away her tears. "I don’t deserve you!"

"Yes, you do. Now, go on back to bed, Buffy. I'll get you some dinner," Spike turned her around and pointed her in the direction of their bedroom.

"Okay." Buffy dragged her bunny slippers along the floor.

"Feel better, Buffinator!" Xander said.

"Thanks," she said, going into her and Spike's bedroom.

Spike hurried to get the cartons out of the refrigerator, and load up a plate for Buffy.

Xander laughed, "Hehehehe!"

"What are you gigglin‘ about?" Spike creased his brow.

"Rowrrr!" Xander made a cat scratching gesture with his hand. "Wha-Pishhhh!" he made a whipping motion.

"I am not whipped!"

"You so are!"

"Buffy's not feeling well. I'm just helping her feel better."

Xander chided him good-naturedly, "You were Mr. Mopey Pants for hours because she hurt your feelings. All she has to do is give you a bat of those pretty green eyes and you're putty! More goo-like substance than man. Perhaps something in the jellyfish family..."

"Shut up," Spike groaned with a smile.

"Buffy's the Puppet Master and, you my friend, are Pinnochio! She makes you dance to her whim!" Xander put his arms out and did a little puppet-on-strings dance.

"You're a looney. I'm going to kick you in your fat ass if you don't stop it."

Xander stopped dancing. "Hey! I have a sweet, tight, eye-pleasing posterior." He turned around and rubbed a hand over his butt. "Just look at that! How dare you call it fat! You apologize to my ass this very
minute!"

"You have gone round the bend, haven't you?" Spike shook his head, smiling. "I'm not bloody well apologizing to your ass."

"Well....you could apologize to it later...without words?" Xander waggled his eyebrows.

"We'll see," Spike grinned. "I wouldn't mind a ménage with you and Cordy, but Buffy might want me to stay with her."

Xander sighed dramatically. "And we're full-circle back to the whipped thing."

Cordy's impatient voice came from the living room, "Xander, hurry up! What’s taking you so long? I'm dying of thirst out here!"

Xander looked startled, he‘d forgotten what he‘d come in here for in the first place. "Oh! Sorry, babe! I'll be right there. It was--Spike! He distracted me!"

Spike laughed, "Oh, you're not whipped at all, eh? I should take a page from your non-whipped book, I suppose?"

"Shut up, wanker," Xander smiled, retrieving Cordy’s soda from the refrigerator.


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Spike did end up staying with Buffy instead of having sex in the next room with their friends. His place was with her.

Buffy had eaten all of her food with enthusiasm. Then Spike gave her a massage: her feet, legs, shoulders, but mostly concentrating on her lower back. Buffy groaned with the pain/pleasure as his wonderful hands rubbed away her achys. After taking some more medicine, they settled into bed, watching her favorite DVD’s (of the non-sexual kind).

Buffy was curled around him with her head resting on his chest. She could stay like this forever. The smooth skin and hard muscles under her cheek, the lub-dub of his heart, feeling his arm around her back, stroking her softly, his other hand grazed over her forearm, back and forth, back and forth, in a soothing motion.


‘Fuck--I’m so lucky!' Buffy thought and smiled.


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A few days later, Buffy was feeling 100% better. It was just that one day where she felt like total and complete shit. Spike was a sweetie, waiting on her hand and foot, going to the store whenever she wanted or needed something. He even bought her tampons without an argument--Guys could be squeamish about buying that stuff sometimes.

She thought, but didn’t verbalize, that he would be a good husband and daddy someday. She got an image in her head of her, with a big, pregnant belly and him running around taking care of her. It was something that she didn’t want to share with him--As cool as he was, the thought of having kids might
really freak him out. Buffy wasn't it any big hurry to have children either. She was only 18, and just discovered how much freakin' fun kinky, wild, butt-spappin' sex was. There were at least a few years ahead where she wanted to fuck day and night--Kids might put a little damper on that plan.

Buffy woke up to find Spike gone from the bed. She stretched and yawned. Maybe he was making her breakfast in bed again. Buffy smiled. He'd done that for her yesterday. Buffy's brows knit with concern when she heard the unmistakable sounds of someone getting sick in the bathroom. It was Spike.

Buffy jumped off the bed and went to the door. She rapped on the door with her knuckles.

"Spike? Baby, are you okay?"

Spike groaned.

"Can I come in?"

"Trust me, Buffy...You don't want to."

"I'm coming in," she said. She waited a few moments then entered the bathroom. "Awww!" Buffy said, seeing Spike sitting on the floor, resting against the toilet bowl.

She rushed to his side, touching his back.

"What's wrong? Why are you sick?"

"I don't know. Must have some kind of bug...Don't get close, don't want you to catch it."

Spike looked terrible. He was sweaty, his complexion was waxy, he had dark circles under his eyes. Buffy could see that he was weak.

"I don't care if I catch it. I'm going to nurse you back to health," she replied.

She touched his forehead, he felt hot to the touch. Buffy tamped down fear that rose up in her gut. The part of her that panicked easily was frightened that maybe there was something horribly wrong with him. The rational part of her took over. Everyone got ill from time to time. He'd be fine.

Spike turned his face to her. "Do you love me?"

"Yes, of course I do, baby. You know I do." Buffy ran her fingers through his damp hair.

"Do me a favor then?"

"Anything."

"Kill me? Please?"

Buffy clucked her tongue and rolled her eyes. "Sorry. Can't do that. You’re going to the doctor," Buffy said matter-of-factly.

"What? No, I don’t want to go to the bloody doctor," Spike groaned.

"Too bad. I’m calling Doctor Mancini and making you an appointment."

"Buffffy! No--I won’t go. I didn’t make you go when you were sick." He pouted, his dark brows furrowed. Spike hated doctors, doctors' offices and hospitals. He'd seen more than enough of them when his mum was ill. They brought back bad memories and made him feel uneasy.

"I was sick from natural, woman stuff. And, for your information, smarty pants, I did make an appointment to have my birth control upgraded. I don't want to have a repeat of the same thing next month. So I will be checked out. We can go together." She smiled.

"Ohhh," Spike groaned, resting his head on the toilet bowl. "This isn't bloody fair! I never--get sick! Shit...I think--I'm going to hurl again..."

Buffy moved behind him, lightly rubbing his back.

"You'll be okay, baby. Don't worry."


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Hours, and a trip to the doctor's office later...

Spike was bundled up in bed. He was propped up slightly with pillows, a warm quilt was tucked under his arms. A thermometer was sticking out of his mouth.

Buffy was in the kitchen, heating up some chicken broth for Spike. She was talking to his mother on the phone. Buffy had been nervous at first, she'd never talked to his mom before. But the woman seemed very nice and warm.

Spike could hear Buffy's side of the conversation through his open bedroom door.

"Don't worry, Mrs. Crane, I'm taking good care of him."

"Oh, my poor little lamb," Anne fretted. "He doesn't take being ill very well."

"Yeah, I noticed. Has William always been this big a baby when he got sick?" Buffy knew Spike was listening.

"I heard that!" Spike grumbled, the thermometer in his mouth clacked against his teeth. "'m not being a baby!"

"Don't talk until I take the thermometer out!" Buffy called into the bedroom.

"Is he giving you a hard time, dear?" Anne asked.

"He's being difficult. But he's the sickie, so he's allowed to be surly."

"It's so sweet of you to go to his house and take care of him like this, Buffy," Anne said. "I wish I could be there to take care of him, but I can rest a bit easier knowing that he has someone."

"Yeah, it's no problem." Buffy bit her lip. Spike's mom didn't know that they lived together, she couldn't let it slip.

"Poor Xander's not well either, you say?"

"Yeah, Xander must have given the stomach virus to Spike or vice-versa."

'Gee, I wonder how they gave it to each other?' Buffy wondered. She was just amazed that she wasn't sick too, considering all the kissing, touching and exchanging of body fluids that they did.

"You poor thing! You have to take care of both of them?" Anne asked.

"No, Xander's girlfriend, Cordelia, is taking care of him."

"Oh, you girls are wonderful. Thank you for taking care of my boys."

Buffy smiled. "It's like our duty, you know? We have to take care of our special guys. I'm glad I can be here with William when he needs me. Oh, his soup is just about ready."

"You go make him eat something, Buffy dear. Could you...call me in the morning and tell me how he's doing?" Anne was worried about her son, but didn't want to irritate Buffy.

"Of course, I will! He might be able to talk to you himself by then. The doctor said it's just a 24 hour kind of bug."

"Thank you, I would appreciate that very much. Tell William that I love him and hope he gets well quickly."

"I will, Mrs. Crane. It was nice talking to you, bye!"

"Goodbye, Buffy."

Buffy hung up then got his soup ready, humming to herself. His mom seemed to like her, that was of the good.

Spike was looking dazedly at the tv when she came in with the bed tray.

"Feel up to eating something? I've got yummy chicken broth, soda crackers and ginger ale!" Buffy said cheerfully.

Spike turned his head and looked at her blankly. He moved the thermometer back and forth in his mouth.

"Oh! Let me check your temperature."

Buffy put the tray down on the dresser then took the thermometer out and squinted at it in the light. "102. That's still not good. It did come down a degree though."

"When's the bloody medicine going to start working?"

"You couldn't keep it down the first time. Remember? You took it again a half hour ago. I think it is working."

"I'm not hungry just now, luv."

Buffy sat on the bed next to him, stroking his arm. "You feel like you're going to get sick again?"

"No...not at the moment. I never get sick!"

"I know. Your mom said that you always avoided getting colds or flus, even when everyone around you was sick. But those are the worst. When something gets a hold of you it digs in."

"Yeah, tell me about it," Spike groaned.

"Aww," Buffy kissed his warm forehead.

"I heard what you said. Tellin' my mum that I'm being a baby," he pouted and looked at her like a perturbed child.

"I was joking! You know, Ha-Ha-Ha? I knew you were listening."

"Very funny. Fucking with my head like that when I'm ill."

"Oh, stop," Buffy rolled her eyes.

"And I hate thermometers," Spike said. "Why can't we get the ones that you stick in your ear? These oral ones are from the bloody Stone Age."

"Don't make me use the anal one on you," Buffy teased.

"It'd be better than having to hold it in my mouth. So next time, get some Vaseline and slide it on in."

Buffy giggled.

"How's Xan feeling?" Spike asked.

"Last I checked, he was about the same as you. But the doctor said you both should be back to normal tomorrow."

"I bloody well hope so."

Buffy got up to get a basin and wash cloth. She settled back onto the bed with him and put the cool cloth on his forehead.

"Thanks...for taking care of me, pet." Spike smiled.

"Don't worry about it. Just get better--soon! This taking care of someone jazz is tough for someone like me," she joked. "I never really had to before. My mom was always the one doing this stuff. But I like taking care of you...I don't mind, really."

Spike sighed. "Well, I appreciate it. Even if I do complain and grouse at you."

"It's okay." Buffy kissed his hand.


Later, in the kitchen

Buffy walked in. Cordy was laying her upper body against the kitchen table.

Buffy laughed lightly, "Hey, Cordy. How's your patient?"

Cordy raised her head and gave Buffy a miserable look. "He is so lucky that I love him."

Buffy laughed and got a can of Coke out for herself. She sat down across from her friend. "That bad, huh?"

"Xander is a huge, giant baby," Cordy said.

"Spike's getting better I think. His temperature's down and he's sleeping. He was Crankenstein for a while too."

"Yeah, Xander's feeling a little better too. I never took care of someone like this. It's hard," Cordy whined.

"I hear ya, sister." Buffy nodded.

"A couple of times, I wanted to bash Xander over the head with something. But...then he'd give me this sad, little boy look...Turned my insides to jelly. I had the inexplicable urge to hug him and sing a frickin' lullaby or something."

They laughed together. Buffy nodded in agreement.

"Yep, the little boy thing. Gets me every time. But Spike was so nice to me when I was sick, I owe it to him to be patient and help."

"Yeah, he was a sweetie pie. I better not get this virus. I can't afford to get sick."

"Me either," Buffy said. "I'll probably change my tune if I do get sick, but the risk is worth it. I want to take care of Spike. I really, really love him...It's kind of scary how much."

Cordelia smiled and touched Buffy's hand. "It's incredible, isn't it? Feeling that way about someone."

"Yeah, it is. I never knew it was possible to love someone like this. I mean, you love your family a certain way. You have crushes and get into some guys. But this isn't like anything I've ever felt. If I had to, I know that I'd step in front of a bus, or dive in front of a bullet for him--like a member of the Secret Service would to protect the President."

Cordy laughed. "Let's hope it never comes to that, but I know what you mean. I was in love once before, but it didn't work out of course."

"You were? What happened?"

"I was 19 at the time. Doyle was a little older. I was already doing movies when we started going out, that's how we met actually. I met him at a party, he was a friend of a friend. He wasn't an actor, just a regular guy. He was so hot! And could be so sweet. But he started getting really jealous about me and other guys. We started fighting all the time...And it just didn't work out."

"Aw, I'm sorry, Cordy. That must have been hard for you."

"It was. But now I've got my Xander Bear." She grinned. "He's an actor too, so he knows what that's about. And even though he's this big porn stud, he has this...I don't know...innocence? A boyishness that is so fucking irresistible!"

"Heh-heh, yeah. Spike has that too. It really is sexy as hell. With just a look, he can make me melt or make me want to tear his clothes off with my teeth."

"We've got it real bad, haven't we?" Cordy joked. "If you spend the day taking care of your man because he's sick, cleaning up stuff that you wouldn't normally go near with a ten-foot pole--That means you've got it bad."

"Yeah, we do." Buffy sighed and rested on the table. "There's no cure for what ails us."

They laughed, and rested for a while.


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"Welcome to Talk to the Stars Live. I'm Anya and--"

"I'm Harmony," Harm said with less enthusiasm than usual.

Anya continued, "Today we have Spike and Xander back with us. Welcome to the show."

"Thanks, Anya," Xander said, smiling.

"Good to be back," Spike said, winking at Buffy who was off camera with Cordy.

Harm cast a venomous glance at Buffy.

"You guys weren't feeling well recently. Are you all better now?" Anya inquired.

"Yeah, thanks for asking. We're 100% better. Strong, like bull!" Xander flexed his biceps.

Spike chuckled and nodded. "Yes, we're much better. We had a little stomach virus thing that's going around. But we're right as rain now, thanks to some excellent TLC, and back to making movie magic."

Buffy waved, smiling up a storm. Spike smirked at her, puckering his lips for a moment.

Anya continued, "Happy to hear it. You guys are doing so well with your films, just like I knew you would. The fans love you. Is there anything you'd like to say to them?"

Xander smiled at the camera and waved. "Hi, fans! Thanks for buying our DVD's and other merchandise! Keep a lookout for the Xander Bobble Head doll. Also, thanks for writing, calling, emailing, using Pony Express, etcetera, to let the suits know you like us!"

Spike smiled. "I think Xander encapsulated my thoughts perfectly. But I still want to say, " he looked into the camera, "thank you all for your continued support. It means a lot to us."

"You two are up for several awards this year for the Adult Entertainment Awards. That must be a rush for you."

"Oh yeah!" Xander said animatedly. "In this field, there's so much competition. There's tons of films and actors out there deserving to be recognized. The fact that Spike and I got nominated in our first year of
acting is really cool."

Spike nodded. "I watch some other people's work and I think, 'I'm not any better than them.' I appreciate the nominations, but I think lots of actors deserved recognition too. I'm looking forward to the awards ceremony. Even if I don't win, I hope Horizons wins big."

"Aw, aren't you guys just too sweet and gracious?" she laughed. Anya looked askance at Harmony. "You've been strangely quiet, Harm. Anything you want to ask them?"

Harmony thought about it. "Um, okay. Spike, what kind of movie would you like to do that you haven't yet?"

Spike, Anya and Xander blinked. Harm actually asked something smart, and not dick-related.

"Uh, well...Let's see...I wouldn't mind doing more group sex movies. Those are fun. More light BDSM would be nice. No hardcore stuff for me, like leather masks and whips, but handcuffs, spanking and things like that are fun."

Harmony asked, "Do you like to give or receive when you do bondage?"

"Both, actually. I like driving my partner crazy. But it's cool to be at their mercy too."

Anya smiled at Xander. "Xander, any starring roles for you coming up?"

"It's funny you should mention that, Ahn. It's almost as if I asked you to ask me that myself before the show."

They laughed.

"I do have my own starring vehicle coming up. I'm happy to become a part of the proud porn tradition of the randy pizza delivery boy and the lusty female customer!"

"That's great! Congratulations. I'm sure it'll be a lot of fun," Anya laughed.

"Thanks. So far, it's called, 'Special Deliveries'. I like the title, 'Extra Toppings', myself."

"Let's go to the phones and take some calls. The first caller is JC from Detroit."

"Hi everyone! Wow, you guys are so cool!" JC (a young-sounding male) said.

Xander and Spike thanked him.

"What's it like having sex with all those gorgeous babes!?"

Xander laughed, "I think you know the answer to that one already!"

"There was another dude I thought was really cool too. What happened to Angel O'Connor?" JC asked.

They all looked at each other for a moment.

Anya answered, "Unfortunately, Angel doesn't work at Horizons anymore. There was a parting of the ways. But we all hope he's doing well."

"Was he jealous of you, Spike?" JC asked. "He was like the star of the movies until you started."

Spike shifted in his seat. He replied with a smile, "No. Of course not. We're both professionals," he lied. "Angel and I got along very well. I was sorry to see him leave."

Spike thought, 'Did I say that bullshit convincingly enough?'


Across town...

Angel almost spit out his mouthful of whiskey. He swallowed it with a loud gulp, gritting his teeth. He glared at Spike's image on the screen, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

"You son of a bitch--Got along very well, did we?"

He stared at the screen a moment, as if he were waiting for Spike to answer the question he'd asked.

"Get along with this, you fucking asshole! ARRRHH!" Angel suddenly lashed out, kicking the television screen. Sparks flew, smoke billowed out of the trashed tv set.


Back on the talk show...

"Thanks for your call, JC," Anya said. "Next, we have a repeat caller. Lori. Hi, there!"

"Hi guys!" Lori said, clearly excited.

"Hey, Lori!"

"Hello, luv. Good to hear your voice again," Spike smirked and puckered his lips at the camera.

"Oh!" Lori breathed, seeing Spike giving her a kissy-face on her tv screen. She giggled like a schoolgirl. "Hi! Um...Oh yeah, I wanted to say how much I've loved your movies! You're my two favorite actors!"

"Aww, thanks, Lori! You're a sweetheart," Xander said.

"Thanks, Lori." Spike smiled.

"My question is, are you two single? Or have some lucky women snapped you up? Please say you're single!" Lori laughed.

"I'm involved with someone special," Spike said, he smiled dreamily at Buffy. Buffy blew him a kiss and winked. "I'm the happiest bloke on Earth."

"Nah-uh!" Xander said. "I'm the happiest bloke on Earth! I've got my little Cordy Bear."

"Aw, so you both have girlfriends?" Lori asked sadly.

"Sorry, luv. But Buffy and Cordy make us very happy."

"Buffy and Cordy? Oh wow! You mean Buffy Winters and Cordelia Chase? I love the movies that you star in together! You can see how much passion you have together," Lori said.

"Thanks, Lori. I thought we gave some memorable performances together too," Spike winked at Buffy again.

Harm thought she might lose her lunch. She strived to be a professional, putting her extreme dislike for Buffy aside. "Buffy and Cordy are offstage right now. Why don't you two come up and say hi?"

Cordy smiled and strode over to the couch, giving Xander a kiss and sitting beside him. Buffy remained frozen off-camera. She didn't want to be on screen. It was one thing to do the movies, but she didn't want to appear on television any more than she had to. She didn't want there to be more of a chance that she could be seen by someone that knew her from back home.

"Come on up, Buffy," Harm said, wondering why Buffy looked so spooked.

Spike knew how Buffy felt about it. "Uh...She's a little shy."

Harmony laughed. "Shy? Ch-yah, right! Yeah, I noticed her shyness while she was getting nailed and screaming about how she loved it in all of her movies!" Harm said sarcastically.

"Really, Harm--Buffy's not feeling her best today." Spike hoped that Harm would drop it. He could see that Buffy was freaked out.

Anya stepped in, "So Cordelia, you and Xander are a couple?"

"Yes, I met him here at the studio. It wasn't love at first sight or anything though."

"Hey," Xander pouted. "For me it was."

Cordy laughed and kissed him. "It took a few minutes for the love part to bloom for me."

"Watch it, Missy. I might just have a splitting headache later."

"I'd take what I wanted anyway. You can't keep that hot, gorgeous bod from me," Cordy giggled, squeezing his thigh.

Anya got the signal to wrap up. "That's all the time we have for our guests. I'd like to thank our callers JC and Lori. And thank you for joining us today. I'll see you later tonight, Rupert," Anya launched an air
kiss at the camera.

"After some previews of this months movies, I'll be back, talking to Glory and Kendra," Harmony said.

"And we're out," the stage manager said.

Spike immediately got up and went to Buffy. He hugged her and kissed her gently. Xander and Cordy went over too.

"You alright, pet?" Spike whispered.

Buffy took deep breaths to regain her composure. "Yeah...Shit...I wigged out there. I must have looked like a deer in headlights."

Cordy and Xander patted her back comfortingly.

Harmony watched Buffy and Spike. "What was her problem?" she asked Anya.

Anya was using her compact mirror and fixing her makeup for her date with Giles. "Huh? Oh, Buffy's family doesn't know she's working on adult movies. Spike says she gets totally freaked out and panics when she thinks her family might find out. Sorry, I should have talked to you about that before. Buffy won't be on the show anytime soon."

"Hmm, yeah. I--wish I'd known before," Harm said slowly.

"Well, it's okay now." Anya smiled at Buffy and Spike hugging. "Looks like Spike made her feel better. I'll see you tomorrow, Harm. I've got a hot date with my fella!" Anya giggled. She patted Harmony on the shoulder and skipped away.

"Yeah...see ya," Harm said. A slow, grinch-like smile formed on her face.

'Oh, I hope Buffy's family doesn't find out somehow...Cause...that would be...bad.'


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Later, Harmony was busy in her dressing room. She hummed and sang to herself as she worked.

"When the workin' day is done,
Oh, girls,
They wanna have fu-un,
Oh, girls,
Just wanna have fun!"

She sealed up the large, manila envelope with a flourish.

It was addressed to:
Mr. and Mrs. Winters
1630 Revello Drive
Sunnydale, CA

From:
Buffy Winters
Hollywood, CA

"Buffy, prepare to officially wig out," Harm laughed to herself.

Harm forgot the little fact that the real surname was Summers when she wrote on the envelope, but her package would find it's way to it's destination even with that oversight.





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