Buffy was still sitting on the couch when she heard the phone start to ring. She jumped off the couch and ran to pick it up. Maybe someone found the Bot, maybe it was the Bot.
"Hello?!" she said anxiously.
"Buff, it's Xander."
"Xander, what's wrong? It's 4 in the morning." She was sure something terrible must have happened.
"Buff, um...I just had an...interesting conversation with Spike."
"Spike? Where did you see him?"
"At, uh, my apartment. B-But that's not important! Buffy, are you seeing someone?"
"What? Why?"
"Cause Spike said he's going to kill the guy you're seeing so you'll love him, that's why."
There was silence on her end.
"Buffy?"
"Did he say where he was going?" she panicked.
"No. You are seeing someone, aren't you? Why didn't you tell us?"
"When did he leave?"
"Just a few minutes ago. But --"
"I can't talk now, Xander, I have to find Spike!"
She hung up and ran out of the house towards Spike’s crypt.
Spikebot walked into the crypt silently.
His eyes immediately set on the sleeping form of the real Spike. He walked over carefully, looking around for a piece of wood. Not surprisingly, there wasn't any just laying around.
'I can tear his head off. That works on vampires, too.'
He stopped in front of the sarcophagus and looked down at his twin, taking a few moments to inspect the original Spike.
"I'm sorry, I wish that this wasn't necessary," he whispered, reaching down to wrap his hands around Spike's neck.
Spike opened his bleary eyes in time to see the strange sight of himself attempting to strangle -- himself.
"What the f--" he got out before the Bot grasped his neck and started to squeeze.
Spike tried prying the hands off of him with no luck. Whoever his attacker was, he was strong -- as well as frightfully good-looking. Spike gurgled and fought against the Bot as fiercely as he could.
'The fucker's trying to twist my head off!'
The crypt door slammed open, Buffy stood in the doorway.
"Spike! NO!" she yelled.
The Bot turned his head to look at her, at the same time loosening his grip enough for Spike to kick him off. The Bot went flying back into a pillar. Buffy ran to him and held him in place against the pillar.
"Don't try to stop me, Buffy! He has to die!" the Bot fumed.
"What the bloody fuck is going on?!" Spike rasped, massaging his throat. "Who the hell is this guy, and why does he look like me?"
"He's...oh god..." Buffy shut her eyes. The humiliation was unbearable.
"I'm hers! You can't have her!" the Bot yelled at Spike.
"He's a...robot," Buffy confessed.
"What? You mean like the one that threw me out that window?"
"Yeah..." she said, not able to look at him.
"I hate you." The Bot scowled at Spike.
"Yeah, well, the feeling is more than mutual, mate. Now, bend over and kiss your metal ass goodbye, 'cause you're goin' to that big scrap heap in the sky."
Spike started forward, ready to kick some robotic ass.
"Spike! Stop it!" Buffy held a hand up while she held the Bot with the other. "Don't hurt him!"
"Don't hurt him? Did you see what this thing was doing to me when you came in? He was trying to pop my fucking head off like a cork!"
"He doesn't understand!" she yelled.
"She'll love me when I kill you!" the Bot shouted at Spike, then turned to Buffy, softening his expression and voice. "Right, Buffy? You'll love me then?" He looked pleadingly into her eyes, a hopeful smile on his face.
Tears welled up in her eyes. "I wouldn't be able to love you if you hurt him. I don't want you to hurt him. Please, just come back home with me."
Spikebot looked down, trying to decide what to do.
"Buffy, you had this thing made?" Spike asked slowly. "Why?"
"I can't talk about this now, Spike. I just want to go home."
"Well, too bloody bad! I think I'm entitled to a thorough explanation!" Spike cried.
"You'll take me home? And we can be together?" the Bot asked her. She nodded. "You won't love him anymore?"
"Come home, okay?" She maneuvered the Bot towards the door.
"What are -- Did it just say that you loved me?" Spike asked.
"Spike, not now!" Buffy pushed the Bot out the door.
Spike followed and stood in the doorway, staring after them as Buffy and the Bot moved hurriedly out of the cemetery.
"Damn it, Buffy!" Spike yelled at their backs.
He groaned and held his aching head in his hands. His head was thumping from his hangover and his neck hurt like a bitch. He stumbled back into the crypt and dropped down into his chair.
"She had a robot made to look like me? And said robot, just tried to do me in because it doesn't want me to have her... What the fuck is going on? Have to admit, it may be a homicidal robot, but it's a roguishly handsome homicidal robot..."
This incident went straight into the 'Can Only Happen in Sunnydale' file. He groaned and massaged his forehead.
Buffy sat in her living room feeling mortified and wringing her hands together nervously.
She had just explained the bizarre and highly embarrassing situation to her best friend. The previous night ranked right up there with the worst in Buffy's life, and that included being killed.
"Wow, Buffy..." A million questions popped into Willow's mind, but she could see that Buffy was ashamed enough, she didn't need to make her feel worse. She had to try to be understanding and supportive. "I wish you could have talked to me about this before."
"I know. I just couldn't. I couldn't tell you how I felt about...him."
Willow sat next to her on the couch and put her arm around her. "Hey, I'm still your friend, right? I'll always be on your side."
Willow was surprised about Buffy's hidden feelings for the real Spike. She couldn't help but feel responsible because of that 'My Will Be Done' spell, that had to have been the catalyst. Buffy smiled at her weakly.
"What are you going to do with...him?" Willow asked, looking toward the kitchen where the Bot was busy cooking something up for them.
"I don't know," Buffy said sadly.
"He has an 'off' switch doesn't he? You could turn him off," Willow said.
"I can't, Willow. I...can't."
"Why not?"
"Do me a favor, you tell him we decided to deactivate him. You'll see why..."
The Bot came in carrying a tray heaped with grilled cheese sandwiches .
"I made these for you, Buffy-luv!" He grinned proudly, setting the tray down on the coffee table. He turned to Willow. "Buffy likes cheese!"
"Yes, she does. Um, Spikebot, we were talking, and we thought that maybe the best thing to do would be to deactivate you...for a while," Willow said.
Spikebot's eyes went wide with panic, he fell to his knees in front of Willow and clutched at her skirt.
"Please, Willow! Don't deactivate me! Please! I'll do anything you want!" Tears appeared in his eyes.
"Okay! Okay, no deactivating! It was just an idea. It's okay!" She petted his head.
"Really?" he asked, sniffling.
She nodded emphatically.
A smile spread across his face. "Thank you, Willow-pet!" He hugged her around the waist.
"Uh, don't mention it." She patted his shoulder awkwardly.
"I forgot to bring drinks!" He jumped up. "I'll get you a glass of milk, Buffy, and one for you too, Willow!"
He hurried to the kitchen.
"See what I mean?" Buffy asked her. "He gets all scared and panicky when you say anything about turning him off. I don't have the heart to do it."
"Yeah...the poor thing. He's almost...childlike in some ways." Willow shook her head. "He sure is a little ball of energy..."
"He's been running around getting me things and doing stuff for me all afternoon," Buffy sighed.
"That must be horrible!" Willow said in mock-shock.
Buffy smiled and punched her lightly on the arm. Spikebot came back in with two tall glasses of milk and handed them to the women.
"You're not eating your sandwiches..." He pouted.
Buffy and Willow each took a sandwich to appease the Bot and took a bite.
"Mmmm!" Willow said, rubbing her stomach. "That's the best grilled cheese I've ever had!"
"Yum," Buffy said tonelessly.
Spikebot beamed at them. "Is there anything else I can do for you fine, foxy ladies?"
"No, Spike. We're good," Buffy said.
There was a knock on the front door.
"I'll get it, luv!" He ran out of the room to answer it.
"He isn't much like the actual Spike, is he?" Willow asked.
"No, he isn't." That was the problem. Buffy still wanted the real Spike.
Spikebot threw open the door.
"Xander! And Anya! It is good to see you!" He smiled and motioned for them to enter.
"Hi, Spike," Xander said, blushing.
Xander was relieved when Buffy called him earlier and told him that the situation was under control. Spike wasn't able to whack the guy he was after. He was also relieved that Buffy didn't just stake the blonde vamp. Last night had changed a lot of things for Xander. Spike was now special to him.
"Spike, we have to talk," Anya said sternly. "Xander told me what you two got up to last night. He assured me he wasn't gay and still enjoyed heterosexual sex, and he wouldn't leave me for you. So, I'm not angry. But you couldn't even hook up a video camera? It's bad enough I had to miss it, but I couldn't even watch!" she huffed, crossing her arms.
"We could do it again, you could watch this time! Maybe Buffy would like to watch, too." Spikebot smiled and leaned in to give Xander a kiss.
Xander stopped him. "Spike!" he whispered harshly. "Not here! Too many questions if they see us."
"Oh, come on Xander!" Anya whispered back. "I want to see you two kiss."
Xander looked at Spike's sensuous lips and licked his own. "Okay. But you keep watch, warn us if someone is coming."
He didn't want the others to know about this yet. He tilted his head and pressed his lips to Spikebot's, and his cock twitched to life when they thrust their tongues in each other's mouths. Their mind-blowing sex from the night before was fresh in Xander's memory and he couldn't wait to repeat it, with the possible addition of Anya watching or participating. They deepened the kiss. Anya stood transfixed, watching her fiancé and his vampire lover making out, she toyed with the neckline of her shirt and licked her lips. She'd never seen anything so erotic, needless to say, she was too distracted to keep a proper lookout.
Buffy and Willow came around the corner from the living room to see what was going on in the front hall.
"Oh my god! What are you doing?!" Buffy exclaimed, seeing Spikebot and Xander with their tongues down each other's throats.
"Oh my!" Willow put her hand to her mouth.
Xander jumped away from Spikebot, wiping his mouth, looking extremely guilty.
"Uh, hi guys! And Spike...ewww! Don't you ever try to kiss me again! Yuck!" he lied unconvincingly.
Spikebot was crestfallen. "But, Xander...I thought you liked me?"
"Xander, why were you kissing him?" Buffy said, still in shock.
"Ummm..." Xander tried to think of an explanation.
"Buffy-luv, I didn’t get a chance to tell you, but I gave Xander lots of orgasms last night," Spikebot said cheerily. "I knew you would want me to please your friend when he asked me to. I can tell you all about it, if you'd like, pet. He was really good."
Xander went into a coughing fit. Anya went over and slapped him on the back.
"Wh-What!? Xander?! H-How could --" Buffy stammered.
"Guys, why don't we move this conversation inside...the neighbors don't need to know all your business," Willow said, gently pushing everyone away from the front door and closing it.
They all walked into the living room in a daze, except for Spikebot, who still had a bright smile on his face.
"I made grilled cheese sandwiches for Buffy," Spikebot said, pointing to the tray stacked with sandwiches. "You can have some too if she doesn't mind."
"Oh, thank you, Spike! I missed lunch." Anya grabbed a sandwich and took a bite. "Mmm, very good."
He grinned.
Buffy wanted to get the Bot out of the room for a few minutes so she could hash it out with Xander.
"Spike, why don't you go...and scrub the bathtub. It's getting a little dirty," Buffy said.
"Anything for you, Buffy!" He turned and ran up the stairs, quick as a flash.
Buffy turned to Xander, who was looking anywhere but at her. "Xander! You had sex with him last night?! So, that's what he was doing at your place..." She narrowed her eyes.
"I...erm...uh, yeah," Xander mumbled.
"So very many questions come to mind," Buffy said. "Let's start with: Since when are you gay?"
His head shot up. "I'm not! I'm not gay!" He looked at Willow's disapproving frown. "Not that there's anything wrong with being gay, ‘cause there's not..."
"Oh, for goodness sake," Anya let out an exasperated sigh and looked at Buffy. "If you and Spike were seeing each other, it's your fault for not telling anyone else. Xander and I like to get our 'freak on' and I was encouraging him to bring another person into our lovemaking routine. And he chose Spike."
"But he's mine!" Buffy blurted out. "Get your own Bot!"
"Bot?" Xander asked.
"Oh, that's right... You didn't know he was a robot..." Buffy trailed off.
"Huh?!" he said, once again, thoroughly confused. "Like...that robot girl that was looking for Warren?" he asked in a squeaky voice.
Buffy and Willow nodded.
“Spike’s a robot?!”
“No. There’s a real Spike and a robot Spike...a Spikebot,” Buffy said.
"Oh....well...I knew that...of course. I knew it the whole time..." he tried to cover, crossing his legs nonchalantly.
"Uh-huh, sure you did," Willow said sarcastically.
"He...really is a robot? A machine?" Anya asked in disbelief, pointing toward the stairs.
"I know, it's amazing isn't it?" Willow said. "You'd never guess by looking at him. But he doesn't act very much like the real Spike."
"Oh, god..." Xander put his face in his hands. "I had wild, freaky sex with a robot, a male robot... What if he would have...short-circuited or something... during it? I saw 'Westworld', I know what rampaging robots can do! He could have went crazy and killed me!" Xander panicked.
"Take it easy, Xander," Buffy said. "The only one the Spikebot wants to kill is the real Spike. Otherwise, he's gentle as a lamb. He's jealous..."
"The real Spike is the guy he was talking about killing? And to think I actually tried to talk him out of it..." Xander said regretfully.
"Shut up, Xander! He almost killed Spike before I found them! It's not funny!" Buffy raised her voice to him.
"Whoa, there Buff! I-I didn't really mean it. I'm just... I'm not... I'm sorry," he said miserably. Anya put an arm around him. "Man, do I ever need a drink."
"It's only 4 o'clock in the afternoon," Willow said.
"Buffy, where did the Spikebot come from?" Anya asked.
Buffy looked away and bit her lip.
"Buffy kind of had him made...a little bit," Willow spoke up for her.
"Why would you do that? Oh! Is it because you secretly wanted Spike but thought he was unattainable so you had an exact replica made for you?" Anya asked astutely.
"Umm, something like that, yeah...." Buffy said, still not able to meet their eyes.
Spikebot bounded back down the stairs. "I finished the bathtub, Buffy," he said.
"How can you be done already? You just went up there?" Buffy asked.
"I'm very fast and efficient. Would you like to see how well I cleaned it? Maybe take a bath..." The Bot smiled seductively.
"No, I'll see it later," she said quickly.
Spikebot looked at Xander. "Are you still angry with me, Xander?" he asked with a frown.
"Why didn't you tell me you were a robot?" Xander asked him.
"You didn't ask, luv." Then his expression grew darker. "Did you think I was the other Spike? You did think I was him, didn‘t you? You don't want me either... I hate the other Spike!"
He turned and ran up the stairs, running into Buffy's room and slamming the door.
"Nice going, Xander! You upset him again!" Buffy got up and went up after the Bot.
"I-I didn't mean to --" he sputtered.
Even though he was weirded out about the whole 'robot thing', Xander still itched to get him back into bed. Robot or vamp or human, it didn't matter when he could fuck like that. And as strange as it was, Xander felt an emotional connection to the Bot.
"Tell him I'm sorry!" Xander yelled after Buffy.
Buffy slipped into her bedroom and closed the door. The Spikebot didn't appear to be here.
"Spikebot? Where are you?"
She heard a shuffling sound come from the closet. She opened the closet door to see him sitting on the floor, hugging his knees.
"Spike?" she said softly, kneeling down outside the closet. "Come on, don't be upset."
"Everyone wants him...no one gives a rat’s ass about me." He sniffed, hanging his head.
"Now that's not true. I like you, Willow likes you, Xander really likes you and I'm sure that Anya does too. She liked the grilled cheese you made... Xander said he was sorry he upset you, he --"
"Why did you have Warren make me?" he asked flatly.
"Because...I was lonely. I did want the other Spike...but I didn't think I could ever act on it. So, I had Warren make you for me. I'm so sorry. It was a selfish and terrible thing to do."
Spikebot shook his head. "You should...deactivate me, Buffy."
"What? I thought you didn't want that?"
"I love you more than anything else in the world. But you'll never love me. Everyone likes the other Spike better... I don't want to exist anymore. I don‘t deserve to." He rested his forehead on his knees.
She stroked his hair. "Don't say that." She felt tears in her eyes. "You're a good and sweet and loving being. I couldn't turn you off for good."
Loud voices came from downstairs.
Buffy went to the bedroom door and peeked out. The real Spike was talking loudly with the others.
"Where is it? Where is the bloody thing? I'll tear it apart, circuit by circuit!" Spike yelled.
She shut the door again. "Spikebot? Stay here, okay?"
He nodded.
Buffy went quickly into the living room with the others.
"Spike, will you lower your voice?"
He sneered at her. "Why? Is the Bot down for it's nap?"
"Leave him alone!" She put her hands on her hips.
"Leave him alone? That thing tried to kill me and you're protecting it? I'm not givin' it another bloody chance! I don't care how bloody good-looking it is!"
"Spike!" she said dangerously. "You will not touch one synthetic hair on his head. He won't try to hurt you again. I‘ll make sure of it."
"He really is very sweet," Willow said.
"He makes delicious grilled cheese sandwiches!" Anya said, still munching.
Spike looked at Xander. "Well? What about you, Whelp? Don't you want to sing Data's praises too?"
Xander turned a few shades of red. "Uh, not at the moment..."
"What's wrong with you?" Spike frowned.
"Erm, Spike!" Buffy said, trying to distract him. Who knew how Spike would react to find out the Bot and Xander were...intimate. "Um..."
"We need to talk, Buffy," he said seriously, stalking toward the kitchen.
Buffy gulped. She was not looking forward to this conversation. Her friends gave her 'Uh-oh' looks. She dragged her feet like she was walking to her own execution until she was in the kitchen with him.
"I don't know what to say." Buffy looked down.
"I want to know what's going on, Buffy. I want to hear the whole story. You want to start from the beginning?" Spike asked, leaning back against the kitchen counter and crossing his arms.
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