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He didn’t feel like a William.

Good, solid name as it was, it simply didn’t fit him anymore. ‘William’ meant a "walking target". Meant years of run-ins with various, faceless bullies, and the laughter and total rejection of various, faceless girls he’d fancied…

"I say, you look right handsome, my dear brother."

He continued to stare at this ‘new’ reflection of himself in the mirror, and caught a glimpse of his sister’s titled head.

Drusilla idly played with the bottle of peroxide in her hands and giggled. "Mummy will be pissed."

"My whole, bloody head’s on fire," he grumbled.

Dru ran her long, red nails through her brother’s newly platinum curls. "Pain is the price of beauty, I suppose…"

William shook his head; that was Dru, the bathroom philosopher –

"May I ask, William, what brought about this sudden change?"

"Just felt like it was time for something completely different, Dru," he sighed, leaning closer towards the mirror.

Lips pulled tightly, Drusilla nodded and placed the plain bottle down on the sink next to his hand. She looked straight ahead, locking eyes with William’s reflection.

"To thine own self be true…" she curiously raised a brow. "Who said that?"

"Polonius, it’s from Hamlet."

"Right," Dru chuckled turning away, "words to live by, don’t you think?" she called back as she eased her way out the door.

The second she was gone, William removed his glasses and pressed his face even closer to that mirror, closely scrutinizing his reflection as best he could partially blind. Squinting, he titled his head and took a deep breath, finally coming to the conclusion that the name "William", just wouldn’t do…

**

"Unghh…oh! God! Buffy…!"

Skin humming, senses heightened, and an unbelievable white-hot ball of pressure building up in the pit of her stomach, Buffy dug her fingernails deep into Angel’s shoulders, leaving little crescent marks on his smooth skin.

Burying his face in the crook of her neck, he cried out the second he came, and Buffy finally exhaled the breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding as the full weight of her boyfriend’s body pressed down on top of her. With a few, almost desperate gulps of air, Angel rolled off, and fell into a boneless heap next to her.

Her, eyes flittered open and she briefly wondered if sex would still feel this way without the clothes on –

"You know," Buffy began, turning over to face him, "I was thinking maybe we could try that without the jeans…" She lightly traced her fingers over his bare chest, giving him a seductive smile.

Angel managed to sit up and pressed a kiss to her forehead,

"I want to make sure you’re ready. That everything’s perfect, you know that."

Buffy sighed, her eyes narrowing as a combination of anger and certain ‘unfulfilled’ feeling joined together to create one giant mass of frustration. My boyfriend the boy scout…

"So, we’ll continue dry-humping until you feel we’ve perfected that art."

"That’s not fair, Buffy."

"Exactly," she snapped, slipping out of bed, "it’s not fair! As fairness goes – this wouldn’t even be in the fair ballpark. Hell, it’s not even in the fair continent!"

"Buffy…"

"I’m ready!" She threw her hands in the air, "Angel, I’m more than ready! We’ve been together for four years, that’s like a lifetime in high school, and we love each other, so excuse me if I’m starting to sound like the sleezy guy in some cliché Sex Ed video, but I’m tired of playing the waiting game!"

"Having your first time be special is important to me."

Her face softened at his honesty. "Special’s what you make it."

Angel opened his mouth but the sound of the phone on Buffy’s bedside table ringing, cut him off before he could speak. Eyes shooting heavenwards, Buffy cursed the phone’s bad timing and made a silent promise to strangle whomever it was on the other end of the line.

"Hello?" she said gruffly.

"Ooh, did I catch you at a bad time, luv?" was the low, mocking, baritone drawl that filled her ears and Buffy scrunched her eyebrows in confusion…

Who the hell…?

"Huh? Who is this?"

"Having voice recognition problems?" A sigh. "It’s Will."

"Will…?"

He sighed again, this time loudly. "William, you silly bint."

"Great…" Buffy began, sarcasm dripping from her voice, "Spike. My day is complete." She paused, mentally kicking herself for calling William by that long-forgotten nickname and glanced over in Angel’s direction, hoping that he didn’t catch her slip. Thank god, he’s too busy putting his shirt back on…

The thought of their not-quite-sex sent her frustration barreling back and she barked, "What do you want?!"

"Listen, I’m not going to be able to make it to today’s scheduled lesson, so I was thinking we could move it to a later time."

"How later?"

"8:00 later…"

"I can’t!" Buffy shouted. "I’m going Bronzing tonight!"

"That’s not a problem," William said causally. "Bring your books and we’ll grab a cozy, little table off to the side…"

She snorted. "Did your brain cell’s deplete at the same time your voice inexplicably dropped five octaves?! One: it’s Saturday and two: I don’t study with my dancing shoes on."

"It’s your grade, ducks." That foreign casual sound was back in his voice, where the hell was that anal retentive clicking she’d grown so used to? "I’m sure Joyce would love to tack the diploma of her one and only on the wall, but whether it even makes it to your hands is up to you."

"Since when do you call my mom Joyce?"

"See you at eight, Buffy," William teased in a singsong voice.

"There’s been a slight hitch in tonight’s plans," Buffy began, hanging up the phone. "Wee-Willie’s deciding to be a very, British thorn in my ass, and is tagging along with us to make me study…Angel?"

Shoulders slumped, lips pulled into a tight, thin line, Buffy let out one long, frustrated sigh.

Angel was gone,

God she hated when he did that…

**

William remained sitting by the phone, grimacing; he didn’t feel like a ‘Will’ either…

The name ‘Will’ had a certain, poofter ring to it he wasn’t exactly looking for.

"Great, Spike, my day is complete."

He smiled in spite of himself at that thought. It had been ages since Buffy had called him by that moniker and he was powerless to stop the memories it stirred up.



"I don’t think I like this very much…"

Buffy pursed her lips, turning away from her work, and tilted her head to get a better look at her best friend, the ends of her right pigtail brushing against her neck as she did so.

"What’s the matter, Will-ye-um?" She said his name as if she were sounding it out in class. "Don’t you trust me?"

The little boy lowered his head before looking her straight in the eye,

"I rather think not."

Buffy giggled, "When are you gonna stop talking so funny?" She straightened back up, taking her place behind him and dipped her hands into the vat of gel, "You’ll look cool, I promise. I’ve seen my cousin do this a thousand times…"

She plopped her sticky hands into his hair, making a face at the sucking noises the gel made as she ran it through. Buffy took one patch of William’s curls and glopped some gel on top of it before wrapping her tiny hand around it and pulling it straight up. She moved back, holding her hands over her mouth to keep her laughter from getting out.

"What, what’s the matter?!" William asked panicked, he could hear her sniggering.

"Nothing," she snorted and quickly covered her mouth again. She couldn’t help it, William looked so silly with that one, lone spike in the middle of his head…

"Then why are you laughing?" The boy climbed to his feet and raced towards a mirror, tiny eyes widening at the sight he saw.

"Now you’re a ‘Spike-head’," Buffy called to him doubling over in laughter.



William ran a hand through his hair as the memory faded away, a thoughtful forming on his face…



**



"Mmm-hmm…yeah, he’s a total ass sometimes – no I haven’t seen him today…" Buffy said absently, clutching her cell with her shoulder as she opened the library doors. Her cheeks puffed slightly from the yawn she held in; she couldn’t very well let Cecily know that this conversation was boring her to tears.

Lately, all her "BFF" seemed to want to talk about was Riley and how he was either a) never around or b) a total bastard when he was around. And after what happened with Angel, William inviting himself along to the Bronze, and having to be seen in the library on a Saturday, Buffy wasn’t exactly in the mood to do the best friend support thing needed for Cecily’s Riley diatribes.

"Mmm-hmm – well, that Chem project is like half of his grade, even Riley knows when to prioritize…" She bit her tongue and resisted the urge to scream. "No, I’m not saying that you’re not a priority…" Buffy managed a tiny sigh as she rounded the corner near the back of the stacks.

Would it be breaking the best friend credo if I told her to fuck off…?

"I’m getting dirty looks from the librarian so…"

Cecily’s scream of "What the fuck are you doing in a library?!" was loud enough to grab the attention of those huddled around the tables near her and succeeded in earning Buffy more than a few pointed stares. She gave them an apologetic smile and whispered into the phone,

"Gatsby. F. This is where the books live. Call you later. Bye."

She chuckled, embarrassed and a bit red-faced, and stuffed her cell phone into her bag. "You know how friend’s can be – all amazed at the incredible power of reading…"

"Shh!"

"Right," Buffy muttered, moving towards and empty table, "quiet as a mouse."

She dumped her belongings and eased towards the stacks to begin a tireless search for The Great Gatsby. Buffy craned her neck somewhat painfully as she scanned the bookends for Fitzgerald’s name. The Powers are so punishing me for using the school copy as a coaster…

"Oh! I’m so sorry!"

Blonde hair whipped around, a perfect, deadly scowl already in place and ready to tear the clumsy oaf who’d bumped into her a new asshole, but the ‘Queen Bitch’ in her died quickly at the sight of her former friend. Automatically, the corners of her lips quirked upwards into a smile.

"It’s okay, Willow."

"No, I should’ve watched where I was going and – and breathing, really." The redhead adjusted the books in her arms, moving away from Buffy. "I can go breathe somewhere else until you’re done in the "F" section."

Her hand of its own volition, grabbed Willow’s wrist, stopping the girl’s speedy getaway. "It’s fine if you breathe here," Buffy smiled. "Really, there’s no breathing restrictions in Buffy airspace."

Willow visibly relaxed. "Oh, good, can’t be too careful, you know," she grinned.

An awkward silence fell between the two girls as they somewhat reluctantly turned back to the stack of books behind them. Buffy swallowed the lump that had mysteriously formed in her throat as she scanned the books once more:

This was absolutely painful!

A million questions floated around her in head,

So, what’s the up, Willow?

What brings you to the library, Willow?

How have the last four years of your life been, Willow?

Do you hate me, Willow?

All of which never quite made it out of her mouth. All she could manage to do was move soundlessly down that endless row of books and pretend to be searching for that goddamn paperback…

Willow was the first to break the silence. "Never thought I’d see you here."

Buffy gave her look.

"Oh, well I mean," Willow bumbled, "I know you can read and all, I just never figured you the type of person to be hanging in the library on a Saturday."

"You can thank William and my café mocha for that…"

"William?"

Buffy nodded. "Weekend study session at the Bronze," she sighed and did an awful imitation of his accent, " ‘don’t forget your books, Buffy’."

Willow laughed softly. "And the café mocha?"

Buffy smiled sheepishly. "Got extremely acquainted with the school’s copy of The Great Gatsby."

"Ohh."

"So, what brings you here?"

Willow shrugged. "Nothing much, really. Just looking for a good book to curl up with tonight – and I gotta get me a life, huh?"

Buffy laughed. "Trust me," she began, sighing dejectedly as she pulled the ringing phone out of her purse. What part of ‘Library’ did Cecily not understand?! "Having a life isn’t all it’s cracked up to be," Buffy said as she unceremoniously turned her phone off.

**

Music pounding, tons of sweaty, teen bodies grinding up against each other on the dance floor, the Bronze just had to be full to capacity on the night Buffy had to lug her books along. She’d stumbled through an explanation the second her friends gave her those ‘humor the mental patient’ looks they were so damn good at giving.

Stupid William…

"I can’t believe you’re bringing that guy here," Riley gritted his teeth.

"I’m not bringing him! He’s showing up on his own!" Buffy shouted over the music. "And it’s not like I have a choice…"

"Of course you didn’t," he bit out sarcastically.

Buffy cut her eyes at him. "I’m sure you know the importance of grades, Riley! If you didn’t, you and Anya wouldn’t be locked up in the Chem lab twenty-four-fucking-seven."

"So, William will be here." Angel grabbed his girlfriend’s hand and gave it a light squeeze in support. "He and Buffy will do the study thing, then he’ll leave and we can go back to trying to have a good time and everything will be exactly the same…"

"Ooh, hello salty goodness!"

Cordelia’s sudden cry sent everyone’s heads turning in the direction of the door and Buffy’s mouth went completely dry at the sight of him…

It was obvious that no one else recognized him, but she would know William Hall anywhere and as she swallowed the lump in her throat, Buffy was left with the sinking feeling that nothing would ever be the same again…


To Be Continued...





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