“You won’t believe what that asshole Snyder did!” Buffy hissed.
“Huh??” Faith asked. Looking up from her book Tipping the Velvet.
“B!” Faith said. Wincing when her girlfriend slammed the door behind her with a massive thud. “Babe. Take it easy!”
“He doubled our rent!” Buffy said. “Can you believe that?”
“Son of a bitch!” Faith swore. Tossing the book on their sofa and rising to her feet. “Wait, can he actually do that?”
“I don’t know,” Buffy said. Shaking her head. “What I do know is that we need to hire a lawyer. Pronto.”
“Rent’s due in a week B,” Faith said. “Plus, you know, that other thing we were saving up for.”
By now, the blonde was pacing up and down nervously.
“I know,” Buffy said. “You don’t have to remind me.”
“So?” Faith asked.
“I don’t know Faithey,” Buffy said. Heavily.
“Maybe you could ask your da….” Faith began. Only to trail off when her girlfriend gave her a death glare.
“I guess we better start looking for a roommate then,” Faith said. “I’ll get to working on the flyers.”
“Make sure you put no serial killers wanted,” Buffy said. Pointedly. “In bold font.”
“Funny,” Faith said. “Also, no uggos right?”
“Duh,” Buffy said. “Uggos make angels weep.”
A week later…
“Is everyone in this goddamn city out of their minds?” Buffy wondered.
“Feels like it sometimes,” Faith said.
Buffy came around to the kitchen island where Faith was sitting. Then put her arms around her girlfriend.
“I spent the afternoon interviewing a furry,” Buffy said. Morosely. “It was a real ‘what am I doing with my life’ moment?’.
“Aww,” Faith said. Drawing Buffy close. “Poor baby.”
“Did you know what a furry is?” Buffy asked. Accusingly.
“I may have heard the term in passing,” Faith admitted.
“Well, thanks for the heads-up,” Buffy said. Sarcastically.
“You’re welcome sweetie,” Faith said. Turning around now, she cupped her girlfriend’s face. “You’re so cute when you’re angry.”
“Shut up,” Buffy huffed.
Faith planted a gentle kiss on Buffy’s lips.
A moment later, Buffy began kissing Faith back.
But before the kiss could deepen, their doorbell rang.
“We expecting anyone?” Buffy asked.
“Some guy called,” Faith said. “Said he needed an apartment.”
Buffy stared at Faith askance.
“A guy?” Buffy asked. Raising her eyebrows. “Won’t that kinda… cramp our style?”
“He said he could pay upfront for the next year,” Faith said. “Cold, hard cash.”
That got Buffy’s attention.
“Oh?” Buffy asked.
“Double what we asked,” Faith said. “He said all he needed a nice, clean room quick. No questions asked.”
“Well, that doesn’t sound shady at all!” Buffy said.
The doorbell rang again.
Faith shot Buffy an expectant look.
“Fine,” Buffy muttered. “But he better not get any ideas. You’re mine.”
“Such a cutie pie,” Faith cooed. Pinching her lover’s cheek.
The interview…
“So….” Faith said.
Buffy, meanwhile, was in a corner of the kitchen. Leaning against the refrigerator. Suspiciously eyeing the newcomer out of the corner of her eye.
For Buffy at least, the bleach blonde hair, pierced eyebrow and leather jacket had set alarm bells ringing. Spike, meanwhile, was leisurely sipping coffee on their kitchen island.
“So….” Spike said. Looking from woman to woman.
Christ, they were both bleeding gorgeous.
“What type of name is Spike?” Buffy asked. Wrinkling her nose. “It sounds like a dog’s name.”
“B!” Faith admonished. She gave Spike a sympathetic smile. “I’m sorry. She doesn’t exactly play well with others.”
Buffy rolled her eyes. The hefty advance Spike had plunked down on the counter – enough to cover a year’s rent in advance plus a hefty deposit – had clearly had caused Faith to lose her mind.
“It’s a nickname,” Spike said. “Name’s William. William Pratt. You can call me Will if you like.”
“You’re currently unemployed?” Buffy asked.
“Was employed,” Spike said. “As a teacher. Back in merry old England.”
“A teacher?” Buffy asked. Clearly skeptical. “What did you teach, knife-fighting down at their local Y?”
Spike smirked. Finding the blonde’s feistiness adorable.
“Literature,” he said. “And poetry.”
“Oh?” Faith asked. Shooting her girlfriend an impressed look.
“Poetry?” Buffy asked. Skeptically.
Spike pursed his lips. He looked Buffy straight in the eye now.
“She walks in beauty, like the night. Of cloudless climes and starry skies.”
Buffy found herself shifting under his gaze. Blushing slightly. Thankfully, Spike turned his attention to Faith.
“And all that’s best of dark and bright. Meet in her aspect and her eyes,” he added.
Faith joined her hands together and mimed clapping. To which Spike gave an exaggerated bow.
“Anything we should know about you?” Faith asked.
“Like any history of mental illness in the family, maybe?” Buffy added. “Any murderers or scamsters?”
“Nope,” Spike said. “My demons are all my own. Proud of em too.”
Buffy, shooting a look at Faith, walked out of the room.
“If you’ll excuse us,” Faith said. Politely.
“Sure,” Spike said.
“Well?” Faith asked. After she’d followed her girlfriend to the safety of their bedroom.
“Are you serious?” Buffy asked. Lowering her voice. “Like, he could be an axe murderer or something.”
“Awww, come on B,” Faith said. “Can’t you see what’s going on here?”
“What?” Buffy asked.
“That leather jacket can’t be more than a month old. Ditto for the bleached hair,” Faith said. “And I bet my sweet ass that eyebrow piercing is fresh.”
“So?” Buffy asked.
“He said he’s been in the country for less than a month,” Faith said. “He’s clearly just getting over a bad breakup back home. New country, new him.”
“That’s quite the theory,” Buffy said. “Put that together yourself did you, Sherlock?”
“I checked out his social media,” Faith said. “Figured it couldn’t hurt, right?”
“Uh-huh,” Buffy said.
“And best of all,” Faith said. “He’s flush with cash. Unlike the dozen other deadbeats we interviewed.”
Buffy considered it.
“Fine,” she said. “But if he murders us in our sleep…”
“You can say ‘I told ya so’,” Faith allowed.
“More like I’ll resurrect you and kill you myself,” Buffy vowed.
“We good, then?” Faith asked.
“I guess,” Buffy sighed. Suddenly, something occurred to her.
“Did you tell him about us?” she asked. “You know. Playing for the other team?”
“I mean,” Faith began. “Isn’t it obvious?”
“Is it?” Buffy asked. “Do you wanna tell him?”
“I’m sure he’s put two and two together,” Faith said. “Come on. Let’s go break the news to our new roomy.”
“Yaay,” Buffy said. Without much enthusiasm.
Spike, who’d been waiting for a few minutes, had taken the time to survey the kitchen. Small but cozy. Exceedingly clean and well-kept. Not a dish out of place. He was pretty sure which one of the women were responsible.
He heard Buffy and Faith slip into the kitchen behind him. Heard Buffy clear pointedly her.
“You’re in,” Faith said. Giving him an affable smile. “Welcome to the pirate ship, blondie.”
“On a trial basis,” Buffy added. “We’ll see how it goes.”
“I’ll be on my best behaviour,” Spike said. “Scout’s honour.”
“You were a scout?” Buffy asked. Her eyebrows raised in surprise.
“A scoutmaster,” Spike responded. “Great way to meet single women believe it or not.”
Buffy scoffed.
“Speaking of which,” Spike said. “You gals don’t mind if I….”
“Knock yourself out blondie,” Faith said. Scooping up the cash. “It’s your room after all.”
“Just keep it down,” Buffy said. “And no hoes.”
“Yeah,” Faith said. “This is a hoe-free zone. Except for Buffy, of course.”
The blonde responded by punching the brunette on the arm. Hard.
“Come on,” Faith said. “I’ll give you the grand tour.”
This is gonna be fun, Spike thought. Following the blonde and brunette out of the room. Trying not to stare at either of their pert, luscious bottoms.
That night, Spike lay on the bed in his new room. He found himself tossing and turning. Unable to sleep. Thinking about his gorgeous new roommates.
He’d tried not to of course. Not to think about it. Told himself it was a bad idea. That no good could come of it. But in the darkness, the images had come to him. Seemingly of their own accord.
First, what it would be like to take Buffy to bed. Blondes were a particular favourite of his. Particularly ones with innocent eyes, cute-as-a-button noses, petal soft lips and hard, tight bodies. The chit, frankly, was drop-dead gorgeous.
While she’d given him the cold shoulder, Spike fancied his chances of leaving the Ice Queen in puddles.
Just the thought of it had left Spike with a raging stiffy.
Now, his brain began to concoct such a scenario. Of him and Buffy getting to talking one day. In the afternoon when Faith wasn’t around. Buffy would be wearing a spaghetti-strap top paired with a sheer shirt and denim jeans. Looking devastatingly gorgeous in her simple ensemble.
She’d resist his efforts at making nice. Until he made her laugh with some glib comment. Soon, they’d be swapping details of their lives. Connecting.
Suddenly, they’d be flirting. He’d ask if she knew just how gorgeous she was. She’d blush. “Stop,” she’d say. Slapping him on the chest. He’d grin.
Then, they’d find themselves kissing passionately. And practically bursting through the door of his bedroom as they shed their clothes.
Spike’s mouth opened a little to draw breath. As he imagined making love to Buffy. In the missionary position first. Nice and slow. Staring into her eyes. Taking his
time.
“Oh Spike!” the blonde would moan. Blissfully. Then throw her legs over his shoulders. Bringing him even closer to her. Drawing him in even deeper.
“Oh god!” Buffy would moan. Her face contorting in bliss. “Oh fuck!
“Yeah,” Spike whispered. Licking his lips. By now, he’d begun vigorous efforts to relieve himself of his raging stiffy.
All the while fantasizing about himself and the blonde sampling an assortment of sexual positions. The lotus position of course. Buffy riding him cowgirl. Then reverse cowgirl. Him standing up as the blonde bounced herself on his cock. Her expression was one of ecstasy.
Suddenly, Spike’s thoughts turned to Faith. As much as Spike loved blondes, brunettes were a close second. Especially those with dark sultry eyes and pouty lips. Not to mention a right-cracking pair.
He’d wager Faith’s breasts were slightly bigger Buffy’s. But no less high or firm. And her body was equally fantastic.
While Faith hadn’t been much more than politely flirtatious with him, he could have sworn he’d seen a knowing glint in her eye. If Buffy was sunshine, hearts and puppies, Faith was moonlight, balls and pit bulls. A bad girl who loved leather. If Buffy liked it nice and slow, Spike wagered Faith loved to be taken.
Suddenly, the scenario had changed. Of him walking into his room late one night. Finding Faith lying on his bed. Wearing his leather jacket, black stockings and black six-inch high heels. And absolutely nothing else.
The brunette would be lying on her stomach. Her feet kicked up in the air behind her. She’d have taken great care to position herself just so. Baring a tantalizing amount of flesh. Her eyes glinting with ardour.
He’d feign surprise of course. Which she’d easily brush off. Then offer to ride him until his eyes popped like a champagne cork. Buffy, of course, wouldn’t be at home. Staying over at a friend’s likely.
Spike would accept Faith’s terms of course. On the condition that she returned his leather jacket tomorrow. Her high stockings and heels, on the other hand, would stay on. At his insistence.
“Christ,” Spike muttered.
As he fantasized about standing at the foot of the bed and undoing his belt buckle. As Faith crawled over to him on her hands and knees.
“Fuck yeah,” Faith would rasp. At the sight of Spike Jr when his jeans hit the floor. Then, without ceremony, the brunette would lean over and take him into her mouth.
“Yeah,” Spike whispered. As he pictured the brunette – keeping her mirthful eyes on him – beginning to give him the BJ of his lifetime. Her head bobbing up and down.
Taking him deeper and deeper. Inch by delightful inch.
Suddenly, he’d grab Faith up. Then spin her around, bend her over. Then, placing his hands on her hips, take her doggystyle. Hard.
“Oh fuck!” the brunette would moan. Her left hand gripping the bedsheet. Her right hand resting on her right ass cheek. Spreading herself for him.
“Yeah, you like that?” he’d sneer.
“Yeah,” Faith would reply. Her husky voice growing more frantic. “Oh fuck, yeah!”
Now, keeping his right hand on Faith’s hip, he’d move his left to the back of her neck. Leaving the brunette, for all intents and purposes, at his mercy.
“You want it harder?” he’d ask.
“Yeah, fuck me harder,” Faith would gasp. Breathlessly.
He’d oblige of course. Taking Faith harder and harder. Till the brunette was moaning his name to the heavens.
Until he suddenly heard a loud gasp.
“Oh my god!”
This gasp, though, not from Faith. But Buffy.
Spike and Faith would look over. To see the blonde standing by the door. Dressed for a night out on the town. A black crop top, crucifix necklace, red leather trousers and black heeled ankle boots.
Buffy’s arms were folded across herself. The blonde did not look pleased to find them in flagrante delecto.
“Decided not to stay over,” Buffy said. Her arms crossed over herself. Her eyes glittering icily. Her voice cutting. “I guess I wasn’t expected.”
Now, he’d lock eyes with Buffy. And slow down his thrusts.
“Maybe…” Faith would gasp. “Maybe we should stop.”
“No,” Spike would say. Firmly. Emphasizing his point with another thrust of his hips that would make Faith gasp.
“Well, that was fast,” Buffy would say. Her voice teeming with outrage. “What, sleeping with me three days ago wasn’t enough?”
“Huh?” Faith would ask. Panting heavily. “You…. You slept with him, B?”
“Uh huh,” Buffy said. “I guess we have that in common.”
Now, having addressed Faith, she turned to Spike again.
“Now, I come home and find you screwing Faith’s brains out!” Buffy said. Her voice heating up. “I mean, who does this? Who are you?”
By now, he’d have halted his thrusts into Faith. And considered his reply carefully.
“I’m the big bad baby,” he’d say. With a panty-wetting smirk.
Buffy would tilt her head. She’d stare at him. Incomprehensibly.
Then, he’d extend his hand towards Buffy. Asking her to join him and Faith.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” Buffy would ask. Her eyes narrowing. Scoffing disbelievingly.
“Can you believe the nerve of him?” she’d ask Faith.
Spike would look back at the brunette. Who would be contemplating it.
“Sounds like a plan B,” Faith would say.
“Faith!” Buffy would protest.
“Oh come on B,” Faith said. “It’s not like we haven’t talked about it a dozen times.”
“Oh yeah?” Spike would ask. Grinning.
“Shut up!” Buffy would huff. Looking guilty. For a few moments she’d just stand there. Arms crossed. A stern expression on her face. Looking Spike up and down.
“Join us,” he’d say. “It’ll be fun. Trust me.”
“And you’re good with this?” the blonde would ask the brunette.
“Five by five,” Faith would say. With a wicked grin.
Buffy would tap her feet. Nibble on her lip. Finally, with a sigh, she’d begin stripping off her clothes. Still in a snit, she’d undo her crop top and shrug off her leather pants. Revealing hot pink underwear.
“Are those mine?” Faith would ask.
“You’ve borrowed plenty of mine without asking,” Buffy would retort.
Finally, she’d take his hand. And join them on the bed. He’d reach out and pull Buffy close. Then, beginning to thrust into Faith again, he’d kiss the hell out of Buffy.
“Oh Spike!” Faith would gasp.
Buffy, meanwhile, would moan into his mouth.
“Oh fuck,” Spike growled.
Suddenly, he had Buffy bent over as Faith watched and touched herself.
Now, his brain went into hyperdrive. Imagining himself, Buffy and Faith engaging in all manner of debaucheries. Together. With both women eagerly exclaiming just how much they relished his talents in the bedroom.
“Oh shit,” Spike moaned. Finding himself getting close, he knew it was time for the big finish. And there was only one way he wanted it to end.
Him laid out on the bed. Watching Buffy and Faith kneeling either side of his cock. The women’s eyes on each other. Their luscious lips encircling his prick in a sensual kiss. Their tongues emerging to run up and down the length of him in perfect sync. Then flickering out over his cockhead. Relentlessly. Mercilessly. Seemingly determined to make him cum.
Spike found himself shuddering violently. And, then, with a gasp and a sob, he came. Harder than he’d ever cum in his life. Shooting out reams and reams of semen.
“Jesus,” Spike rasped. Finding himself soaked with sweat and spent. He retrieved the tissues he’d kept by the bed and attempting to clear up the mess and himself.
“Oh Christ,” he whispered. “Oh fuck.”
He looked down at Spike Jr. Who was, somehow, still semi-hard.
“Come off it mate,” he said. Shaking his head. “I’m done for, yeah.”
Just then, Spike thought he heard… something.
Spike looked around.
“Mmmm,” a breathy voice said.
Spike rose on unsteady feet, then took a tentative step towards the wall separating his room from the women’s bedroom. Then another. And another. Until he’d put his ear against the bedroom wall. He found himself trying not to make a sound. Trying not to breathe even.
“Oh Faithey,” he heard that sugary voice moan. “Oh fuck.”
“Yeah baby,” Faith responded. “You like that B? Huh? Tell me what you want babe.”
“Do that…” Buffy began. “That thing with your tongue.”
“This thing?” Faith asked.
“Oooooh,” Buffy moaned. “That’s it Faithey. Just like that. Eat my pussy.”
Holy shit, Spike thought. As it finally occurred to him. Suddenly, everything clicked into place. Everything he’d seen throughout the day. Everything about the women. The familiarity between them. He’d simply assumed they were best friends.
Now, it all made perfect sense. He’d just signed an agreement to spend the next year living with two absolutely gorgeous lesbians.
What the fuck did I just do? he wondered.
Then, he looked down. To see Spike Jr fully engorged and ready to go again.
I’m so fucked, Spike thought. Shaking his head.
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