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Chapter 2


The sounds of thunder and hard rain were tapering off.

"Sounds like the storm might finally be letting up," Buffy said, looking out the window.

"Wonder what's taking the cops so long?" Spike wondered.

"You sound anxious for them to get here."

"It would be preferable to the waiting. I just want to get all of it over with. They'd also take the ropes off for me. Can't wait to feel the sweet kiss of metal around my wrists instead of the a tight, scratchy rope."

"I guess they'll be here soon. If you were the sort of guy who'd do it, you could have killed me 20 times over already."

"Suppose they've got their hands full tonight." Spike groaned a little. He'd shifted a wrist and regretted it as the pain flared up.

“Is your head hurting really bad?”

“Yeah, but my wrists are smarting like hell too.”

“Oh...I...guess I could loosen the ropes--just a little.”

“Uh, no. It’s fine, really.” Spike didn’t want her to see that he’d been trying to cut through the ropes and free himself.

“No, it’s okay. I’ll do it. Lean forward. Farther over this time.”

“I don’t--”

Buffy put a hand on his shoulder blade and made him bend forward. She gasped at the blood on his wrists. “Oh god! I didn’t mean to tie them that tight! You’re all bloody! I’m so sorry!”

“I’m good. Don’t worry ‘bout it.”

Buffy noticed that the ropes were frayed a bit. “Hey...you were trying to cut through the ropes! You were trying to get away!”

Spike growled. “What the hell do you expect me to do? Just sit back and wait for the cops to get here? If I can get away and save my ass from going to jail, I’m going to bloody well try! What would you have done in my place?!”

Buffy got up and paced. “I wouldn’t have put myself in your place! I wouldn’t have been trying to steal from anyone!”

"Are we back to this, then? Look, I'm sorry that you feel that I was betraying your trust by trying to get loose, but I had to try, Buffy! I don't want to go to prison again. Can't you understand that? I wouldn't have hurt you or tried to get revenge on you for bashing my skull in, I just would have scampered as fast as possible."

Buffy sat back down at the fireplace, looking away from him. She actually did feel hurt. "I shouldn't have showed you any kindness."

"I'm sorry, okay?! Don't you understand why I'd want to get the hell out of here?"

Buffy's head drooped. "Yes...I can understand. But..."

"But?"

"But I thought that you were being honest with me. I thought we...Were you lying all night about everything, except your identity?" Buffy felt a sort of bond with him now, after everything. Now she felt let down by him.

Spike looked at her, open and honestly, those beautiful blue eyes staring up at her. "Buffy, everything I've said is true. I have no reason to lie anymore."

"Not even to make me feel guilty enough to let you go?"

"That would be great, but that's not why I told you everything that I have. I told you because I wanted...someone to know. Nobody else out there would even know that I was gone if I died tomorrow. I'd like for someone to remember me and know who I was. Even if it isn't fondly."

Buffy looked at him sadly. "I'm sure that there's someone--"

He shook his head. "No. No family, no loved ones. Just a few friends I've made here and there. And I wasn't as open with them as I have been with you here tonight. I've tried to keep my personal history to myself. It's...not something that I'm proud of or happy to rehash."

Buffy sighed and sat next to him again. "I'm just disappointed, though I do understand you wanting to escape. I guess that I would try too. I'll clean up your wrists...okay?"

"You don't have to."

"Yes, I do. Turn your back to me a little." Buffy brought the first aid kit onto her lap.

Spike did his best to turn his back to her. It wasn't easy with his ankles being tied up too.

First, Buffy loosened the ropes. She hoped that he wouldn't try to pull out of them (though a part of her was now wishing that he could get away and run from the house, without hurting her of course). But the fight was all out of Spike by now. He stayed still as she worked, not making any overt moves.

"That's better. Thanks," he said when she retied the ropes more loosely.

"It's okay," Buffy said softly.

She cleaned up the blood from his wrists, then applied some ointment. The ropes were so loose that he could have pulled out of them at any time, but Spike didn't try. He just didn't have the strength...or will. It was crazy, but he couldn't betray Buffy like that, and possibly have to knock her down. Spike knew that the hurt look on her face if he did that would haunt him forever. He'd rather spend the rest of his days staring at a gray prison wall than be free and see that look on her face every time he closed his eyes.

Spike made a low groaning sound.

"What is it?"

"My shoulders and arms are killing me too." He laughed, "I'm just one big bloody mess."

Instinctively, Buffy started gently rubbing his arms and shoulders.

"Mmmmm," Spike moaned, turning his head to the side. "God, that feels good. It's all pins and needles. Your hands feel like heaven..."

Buffy had to close her eyes for a second at his throaty moan. It sounded soooo sexy! She felt the need to fill the void with conversation.

"So, um....You must have dreamed of being something when you were younger. What did you dream of being when you grew up?"

"Until I was 10, I wanted to be a fireman. But those dreams were dashed when I realized that I was built like a twig," Spike chuckled. "Firemen have to be big, strong and powerful to do what they do. Oh, I also realized that I have more than a bit of fear when it comes to fires. The job wouldn't all be rescuing fuzzy kitties stuck up trees."

Buffy smiled. "Then what did you want to be?"

"In high school I thought I'd like to be a writer. SciFi and Dungeons & Dragons kind of stuff. I also thought it might be neat to be a librarian like Mr. Giles."

"Oh I loved Giles! He was always in our corner when other teachers or the Principal got on our backs about anything. Very cool guy."

"Yeah, he reminded me of an older version of myself. Except that he was cool. I used to go in and help him organize the library a lot. He was always friendly."

"Hey, Giles still works at the school, you should drop by to say hi!" Buffy said without thinking. She had gotten caught up in the conversation there for a minute. The second it was out of her mouth, she mentally kicked herself.

Spike raised an eyebrow and looked wryly at her. "Perhaps you're forgetting something? Don't think the cops will be nice enough to let me out of jail for a visit with my high school librarian."

"Sorry. That was stupid of me to say....Um, so you wanted to be a librarian? That would be kind of boring, wouldn't it?"

"I loved books and I was more comfortable being cloistered away from other people, so I didn't find it boring. You also have to take into account that I was a deadly dull person."

"No you weren't. You were just smart and shy, like Willow. I wouldn't have minded if you wanted to hang out with us too."

"Yeah, right," Spike said cynically.

"I mean it. Willow liked you, that was a good enough recommendation for me," Buffy said sincerely. "Willow was, and is, an excellent judge of character."

"Now you tell me." Spike smiled and shook his head. "I might have actually had friends outside of my Dungeons & Dragons club? Hmm, I don't know about Willow being such a good judge of character though. Look at me now. My life couldn't be more bollocksed up than it is. I've made a mess of everything."

"You only went down the path that you did because of bad circumstances and a lot of seriously bad decisions. I believe that people are basically who they're going to be for the rest of their lives when they're in high school. If they're a stupid bully, or a shallow airhead, then that's what they're really like inside. You were a sensitive, shy and intellectual guy then. That's how you are on the inside now too. There's just a lot of...crap heaped on top of William."

"Interesting theory you have there, luv. I don't feel like I did back then, I'm harder. I've got a lotta scars, physical and mental. I don't think that I'm that person anymore. Like you said, William's buried under a heap."

"Maybe if you saw a therapist or something you could start to rediscover who you are. Who you were meant to be."

"What would be the point now? I'm tied up, with a huge knot on the back of my head, waiting to be taken to jail. The time for self-discovery is over."

"It's never too late, Spike."

"Sorry, but if I'm going to prison, the last thing I need is to develop my more sensitive side. When you're in jail, you need to be tough...you have to be tough or they'll tear you apart. It's like high school, only with a lot more knifings and ass-rapes."

Buffy gulped and nibbled on her lower lip. "No one ever...hurt you like that, did they?"

"No, thankfully. Only because I acted tough, let everyone know that I wasn't anyone's bitch. But it goes on all the time. The guards either don't notice or think it's amusing and let it happen."

"That's terrible! No one should have that happen to them." Buffy especially never wanted anything like that to happen to Spike.

Spike nodded. "I did get into some fights though. Pretending to be stark raving mad helps a lot to keep most of the heat off. I got quite good at acting like a psychopath. I'll have to get back into that state of mind again."

Buffy was having second, third and fourth, thoughts about having Spike arrested...


More time passed. They kept talking. About anything and everything.

It was almost 3 hours since Buffy had called the police, and they still hadn't shown up.

"Still no sign of the cops?" Spike asked when there was a pause in conversation.

Buffy peered out the window and shook her head. "Nope. Maybe they forgot."

"No, they'll get here. They're just backlogged," Spike said with a sigh.

"Are...your shoulders too stiff? I could rub them again."

He smiled softly. "I'm alright."

"Oh, okay." Buffy was a little disappointed. She had wanted to touch him again.

In a soft voice, Spike said, "I wish that you had killed me when you hit me with the bottle. It would have been a kinder fate."

"What? Why would you say that? That's a horrible thing to say!"

"Because I really am going to prison, Buffy. And for a long, long time. As I've said, this isn't the first time that I've been collared. I have a record."

"Oh."

Spike nodded. "California has that '3 strikes and your out' thing. They're going to put me away forever." They sat in silence for a few moments. Spike tried joking, "I'm going to invest in a gross of 'Soap on a Rope'."

"Spike...I didn't want you to be put away for the rest of your life. I just wanted you to get the proper punishment for what you did."

He looked down and shrugged, trying to be nonchalant. "I only have myself to blame. I chose this life. Now I've got to deal with the fallout from the choices I've made."

Buffy watched the fire for a minute, thinking. His life was essentially over. It was a terrible shame.

Spike said, "You were talking before about the people I've hurt, violated. The truth is that I have thought about them. There are times when I really feel like shit for what I've done. Imagining their faces and their reactions when they discover what's happened to them. It's unsettling. I always put it out of my mind. I can't think about it. I've always tried not to be around to see the aftermath."

Buffy could tell by the look on his face that he was sincere. It did bother him.

"I wish that you would have tried to do the right thing a long time ago and stopped. It shouldn't have come to this."

"I know that now. What's done is done. No use crying over spilt milk. Hindsight is 20/20." He smiled. "Feel free to toss in a cliché of your own, I can't think of any more." He took a deep breath. "I'm not happy with everything that's happened tonight, but it was...nice to talk to you."

Buffy made a big decision at that moment. "I'll be right back."

It was probably a really stupid decision, but she was going to let Spike go. She had to call the operator again and tell them that she'd made a mistake.

She took the flashlight and went to the kitchen. Buffy picked up the phone. She closed her eyes when there was still no dial tone.

"Shit."

But it had been a few hours since she had called. Maybe the cops really weren't going to come at all? She took a sharp knife from the silverware drawer, then went back out to the living room. She walked over to Spike, then kneeled on the floor in front of him.

"What are you doing?" Spike asked with a bit of anxiety. They had been getting along very well, but he couldn't help but worry seeing her coming at him with a knife.

Buffy started cutting through the rope around his ankles. "I'm letting you go."

He blinked. "You're letting me...go? As in 'free to go'?"

"Yes." Buffy sliced all the way through the rope.

Spike made a relieved sound and moved his legs apart. "Are you sure? I mean, of course I want to leave, but..."

"I'm sure." She then cut the ropes on his hands. "Please promise me that you'll try to change your ways, Spike. You deserve a better life than this."

He brought his arms in front of him, gently rubbing his rope-burned wrists. He looked into her eyes. "I promise, Buffy. I'll try. This was my big wake up call. It won't be easy, but I'll try."

"Good. I hope you mean it."

"I do." Spike took her right hand and raised it to his mouth, lightly kissing her knuckles. "Thank you, Buffy. I don't deserve this, but I'm grateful for it. You're an amazing person."

Buffy swallowed hard. She wanted him to kiss more than her hand...

"I think that you are -- or could be -- too. That's why I'm doing this. Now...you'd better go before the police really do show up."

Spike stood up, standing in place and massaging his thighs. "I need to the feeling back in my legs. I feel all wobbly."

"Hurry, Spike. You need to go," she said nervously. Buffy got down on her knees and started rubbing his calves to help (not that she wanted to touch his legs -- perish the thought).

"Th-Thanks," Spike said.

She just smiled up at him.

He gulped when her hands went above his knee. "Uh, okay. That's good. I think I can walk now."

Buffy took the flashlight and walked him to the front door.

They stood at the door, looked at each other and each took a breath.

"Well...good luck, Spike. I hope you can make a better life for yourself after tonight," Buffy said.

"Me too. I can't tell you how thankful I am. You had every right to treat me the way you did in the beginning, but...I didn't expect...Thank you."

Buffy nodded and smiled. She opened the front door.

Buffy and Spike froze. Two police officers were just walking up onto the porch.

"Ma'am, I'm Officer Jones. This is Officer Garcia. Are you Buffy Summers?"

"Uh...Yes."

"You called earlier about a prowler in your house? You tied him up."

Buffy nodded, her mind going a mile a minute.

Officer Garcia said, "We're sorry it took us so long to respond. Things have just been crazy in town tonight."

"Oh, th-that's alright," Buffy replied.

Officer Jones stepped up. "Is the perp still inside?" He eyed Spike.

Spike wanted to say hello and act nonchalant, but he was so petrified that he had no spit left to talk.

Buffy laughed nervously. "Oh, it's the craziest thing, officers! You won't believe this! My boyfriend, William, here," she put a hand on Spike, "thought that I wouldn't be back until tomorrow from my trip and he wanted to set up a romantic surprise for me when I got back into town. I heard someone moving around downstairs and assumed that I was being robbed. I hit him from behind with a bottle, I didn't recognize him. I feel just awful!"

Spike looked curiously at Buffy, but then smiled at the cop. "Yeah, my...little filly packs a helluva wallop!"

Buffy put her arms around Spike and kissed his cheek, looking at him lovingly. "I'm so sorry, Sugar Bear. I thought you were a bad guy. I hope that you can forgive me."

Spike looked into her eyes, smiling softly. "Consider yourself forgiven, pet."

Garcia shook his head. "So I take it that no one's pressing charges?"

Buffy and Spike shook their heads no.

Buffy said, "Well, I guess we have a story to tell the grandkids one of these days."

"Do you need medical attention, sir?" Jones asked Spike.

"Nah, I'm alright. I'll go to the hospital tomorrow for a once over. Thanks."

The cops looked a little suspicious, as if they thought that there was some funny business going on.

Buffy smiled. "I'm really sorry that you had to come out here for nothing. I know how busy all of you must be tonight. I tried calling the operator back after I realized the huge mistake that I'd made, but the phone was out again."

Officer Jones nodded. "Yeah, there's been a lot of damage from the storm...Are you sure everything's alright, Miss Summers?"

"Besides feeling like total crap for hurting my boyfriend? Everything's just fine, thanks." Buffy hugged Spike, looking up at him adoringly. “I’ll be making this up to your for the rest of my life."

“I’m sure that you--” Spike started to say.

Buffy suddenly kissed him, full on the lips. Spike’s eyes were wide at first, but he put his arms around her and returned the kiss after only a moment.

The cops fidgeted, waiting for the kiss to end. But it kept going on.

Buffy did it to convince the cops that her story was true, but damn! His lips were yummy. It was one of the best kisses she had ever experienced.

Spike was thinking the same things as Buffy. He could kiss her forever.

Officer Garcia cleared his throat loudly. “Well, I guess we’ll be going then, if there’s no trouble.”

Buffy and Spike pulled away from each other, licking their lips lightly and gazing at each other.

Spike said, “Uh, yeah. Thanks, Officer. Sorry about the confusion.”

“Try to be more careful in the future, miss,” Jones said. “This could have turned out real bad.”

Buffy nodded. “Oh, I’ll be more careful from now on! I feel just awful!”

“Have a...safe night.” The cops walked back to their car.

“You too!” Buffy said cheerfully.


The cops whispered to each other as they walked.

Jones said, “I wouldn’t want to be that guy! That woman’s probably going to end up killing him one of these days. I don't care how cute she is, I'd be running for my life.”

Garcia agreed. “Poor bastard. I wouldn‘t get mixed up with a loopy girl like her if I were him.”


Buffy and Spike smiled and waved at them. When the cops drove away, they both let out relieved breaths. They went back in the house and closed the door.

“Shit, that was close!” Spike said. “I didn’t think that they were buying it.”

“That’s why I kissed you.” She blushed. “I thought that it might help.”

Spike looked at Buffy, tilting his head to the side. “You didn‘t have to do that."

"Yes, I did. I don't want you to go to prison for the rest of your life, Spike. You made a mistake -- a series of mistakes -- in your life. But you can still turn it around. You're so smart and you really do have a good heart, I can tell. You don't have to live this kind of life anymore."

"Buffy, I don't know if I can lead a normal life."

"I believe in you, Spike." Buffy lightly touched his face. "I can feel that you have the strength inside of you to change."

Spike closed his eyes and put his hand over hers. He kissed the inside of her wrist. The contact of his lips made Buffy break out in goosebumps. So warm and soft.

Spike said softly, "No one's ever believed in me before. Maybe my mum, but that's it."

"Well, I do. You're free to go now, Spike. You can leave."

"What if...I want to stay a bit longer?" His left eyebrow arced gently. "Would that be alright with you?"

She smiled and nodded slowly. "I'd...like you to stay." Buffy wanted to kiss him again.

Their eyes darkened as they leaned into each other. Their lips touched, sending little shockwaves through their bodies.

They moaned and sank deeper into the kiss.

"Mmmm, you taste like a big candy cane," Buffy moaned.

"The Schnapps," Spike chuckled, kissing her more deeply.

Buffy’s hands moved up his body and into his spiky hair. She touched the very sore wound on the back of his head. Spike grunted into her mouth, pulling away and putting his hand to the back of his head with a hiss.

Buffy put a hand over her mouth. “Oh my god! I’m sorry! Sorry! I forgot about your head!”

“I’m okay. Don’t worry about it.”

“You’re not okay, Spike. You need to go to the hospital.”

“I’ll go tomorrow.”

“No,” Buffy said with determination. “You need to go right now.”

“But--”

“No buts. Please, I feel like shit for hurting you. I want to make sure that you are okay.” She pouted and blinked her big green eyes slowly.

Spike sighed. “Alright. If it means that much to you, I’ll go now.”

“Let me get my keys.”

“Wait, you don’t have to take me. I have my own car. I can drive.”

“No way. You can’t drive after being hit on the head.”

“I’m fine, Buffy.”

“No, you will wait for me to get my keys. Then I will drive you to the hospital. Understand?”

“You’re a pushy little thing, ain’t ya?”

“I get what I want. I can be very forceful when I have to be.”

Spike got a wicked smirk on his face and stuck the tip of his tongue out a bit. “Is that so? I like forceful women. Bloody sexy.”

Buffy smiled back. “Keep it in your pants, Spike. You’re going to the hospital,” she said with a little giggle.





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