Buffy didn’t dream again. Or if she did, she didn’t remember any of it. She slept like the dead.
It was after noon when she finally woke up, and at first she thought she was alone. But she raised her head a bit, and caught sight of William in a chair by the window, a book in his lap, bathed in sunlight, deep in thought.
“Spike?” she said softly, her voice hoarse.
He jumped up quickly and was at her side in an instant, kneeling down by the bed. “How are you doing? Can I get you something? Are you hungry?”
“Fine, no, no, thanks,” she smiled, sitting up slowly and clearing her throat. “I actually feel…normal.”
“Let me get you some tea, yeah?” He was gone in a flash, and Buffy gingerly felt around her ribs, finding them mostly healed. Her wrist felt better too, as she flexed it, she only felt a manageable amount of pain. She swung her legs over the side of the bed to stand up, but found that she was still a little too sore.
William returned quickly, with a tray filled with fruit, bread, tea, juice, and water.
“Wow, I feel so spoiled,” Buffy smiled, accepting his offering. His worry was palpable, his guilt more so. Although her desire to continue last night’s conversation was strong, she chose to let it go. For now. “Mmm. Juice.” She took a sip and smiled. “Tasty tasty.”
After she ate in silence for a bit, William asked, “Really, how are you feeling?”
“Still sore and everything, but my head is fine.”
“Do you remember what happened?”
She frowned. “I…I had this crazy dream. I think I’m starting to know things, or remember things, and then when I woke up I just hurt so bad I couldn’t stand it. It felt like my brain was on fire, or something. Not of the good.”
“I think I’ve figured out what’s happening,” William said, cautiously sitting down on the bed next to her.
“What, have you been researching all morning?”
He blushed. “Something like that.”
“Well, you have worried face. Spit it out.”
“There are…walls of sorts, between dimensions, not literal walls, of course. But according to Glorio Black---“
“Black! Yes! That’s the guy who wrote the book the spell came from.”
William sighed. “That would have been helpful to know a few days ago, love.”
“Well, I didn’t remember. Sorry.” She smiled at him guiltily.
“Black discusses walls between people, not just dimensions, that in some cases there is really just one version of each human being throughout all worlds. It’s not a hard and fast rule, obviously, as there are many cases of multiple copies of people, when there’s an actual transfer. But I believe that’s what’s happening here, the wall between your selves, has been demolished. And at first, only the one set of memories was prevalent, but now they’re…bleeding together, in a way.”
Buffy frowned. “So, the me Buffy from here, she didn’t like, switch places with me?”
He shook his head vehemently. “Not to the best of my knowledge. Especially considering you’re starting to remember the events of this reality. That wouldn’t make sense.”
“There’s something I’m forgetting from my dream, I know there is…” Buffy munched on a slice of apple. “Oh! Oh. Something about how I have to choose.”
“Choose?” William paged through the book in his lap.
“Yes. There was this voice, a really annoying voice, and it said I have to choose.”
“Choose what? What else did they say?”
“I don’t know. I wasn’t taking notes.” He rolled his eyes at her. “What? I’ll try and remember, okay? I was suffering from a case of fried brain at the time, dream me wasn’t really concentrating.”
“But the headache is gone, for now? Are you still feeling unwell?”
“Yep. Feeling one hundred percent normal Buffy. But…I have had headaches, a lot, since I got here. Or, since I switched memories. Or whatever. So…you don’t think it’ll come back, do you? Because, really Spike, I’m not sure I could handle it. I’d rather break my leg. And my arm. At the same time.”
William tried and failed to hide his anxiety. “I’m sure you’ll be fine, Buffy. But you should rest, today.”
“I feel fine! I don’t want to just lay here like a …sloth?”
“Yes, a sloth. And that’s what you should do. I’ll…I’ll keep researching, the Council sent me a few more texts that may be helpful, including a few of Black’s other books, hopefully one contains the spell that was performed.”
“Can I at least come down and be slothy on the couch? I’ll get lonely up here.” She pouted at him imploringly, a twinkle in her eye.
“Fine, I’ll see you downstairs.” William stood and headed for the door, muttering, “Can’t resist that damn lip.”
‘This isn’t it either?” William held up a brown, tattered tome with gold edged pages.
“Nope,” Buffy shook her head, settling back into the nest of pillows William created for her. Her afternoon had been spent laying on the couch, being waiting on hand and foot, and she couldn’t remember the last time she’d had such a relaxing day. “It was black. Like, Glorious Black.”
“Glorio.”
“Whatever.”
“Bloody hell,” he tossed the book angrily on the table.
“Whoa, calm down, it’s okay. We’ll find it.”
“Before or after you get another headache? I’m useless. If only I knew where---“
Buffy rested her hand on William’s shoulder. “You’re doing your best, William. I know that. We’ll figure it out, then I’ll go home, and you’ll have your Buffy and it’ll all be good.”
“How many times do I have to tell you that you are my Buffy?” He blurted out, then instantly tore away from her touch as he heard his own words. “I’m sorry, would you like something to eat? I can make soup, or—“
“William, sit back down now,” Buffy ordered authoritatively. Surprised, William complied meekly. “I want to talk about this.”
“Pet, but I really don’t---“
“No buts. You were in my dream, and the things I’m starting to remember…William, Spike, whoever you are, look at me.” He raised his eyes reluctantly. “We…we’re something, right? It’s not just me hallucinating. Well, more so than normal.”
“It’s not just you,” he admitted quietly.
“What happened with us?”
“Nothing. Nothing happened.”
“I don’t…I don’t remember exactly, but I know there was something.”
“It wasn’t…” He dropped his head in his hands. “Bloody hell. We didn’t do anything, I wouldn’t…it’s wrong. It was just the possibility of something.”
Buffy nodded. “The things that are coming back still feel like dreams, like…like I can’t quite touch them. But what I feel about you is…it’s stronger, than anything else. And it started when I first got here. I felt like I knew you, even though I didn’t remember you. But I recognized you.”
He narrowed his eyes. “As Spike. As a vampire.”
“No, no. As you.”
“Look, love, you’re very confused right now, and after what you explained happened in…in your other memories, with...I can understand how you think you want---“
“Don’t patronize me. This isn’t about Angel.”
“It is.”
“It’s NOT!” Buffy shouted. “I feel something for you, and I don’t understand it, and I don’t know where it comes from, but it’s not transference or whatever. It’s…” She gathered all the courage she had inside, pushed down all the fear and shame, grabbed William’s face, and pulled him into a kiss.
Half of him resisted on instinct, his mind screamed at him to stop, his morals rebelled against him. The other part of him gave in fully, body and soul, sinking into her kiss, his hands reaching up to barely graze her soft, warm cheeks. His cock stirred, his heart seized, his back tensed. He’d dreamed of this, wanted this, and hated himself for it. He was sick. Taking charge, he pressed his lips to hers harder, fully pressed his palms on her skin.
Buffy sighed and parted her lips. She didn’t quite know where this impulsive decision came from, this confidence, this sexual forwardness. But she tentatively slid her tongue into William’s mouth, finding his own, loving the shiver of pleasure that crept down her stomach, loving the way he slid his hands into her hair.
If either of them subscribed to clichés, they would have said there was a spark right where their lips met.
He moaned, quietly, the feel of her wet tongue on his lip making his self-control weaken, making him want to seize her, cover her body with his, devour her. But as her small hands moved to rest on his thighs, the alarm in his head went off, and he pulled away, jumped up.
William breathed heavily, staring across the room, his jaw clenched. Buffy reached one hand up to touch her lips.
“You’re sixteen!” he finally growled, fire in his eyes.
“Seventeen.” Her heart fell.
“Your birthday isn’t for a few days, you are still sixteen. And it’s completely illegal, not to mention immoral, you don’t even think you know me, and I…” His voice trailed off as he stared at the shocked expression on Buffy’s face.
“What’s the date?” She asked quietly.
“It’s January 15th, why?”
“Um. In…other world, my birthday already happened. It was a week after when we did the spell.”
William sank down onto the couch next to her. “So…so not only has there been the memory alteration, but there’s been a temporal fold?”
“Sure, if you want to complicate things with big words.”
“This changes things, there’s a few more authors---“
“Spike, please stay here with me.”
“---I need to go into the library, get a few volumes,” He avoided her gaze and gathered up his papers. “I’ll be back later, call Dru if you need anything.”
“William…”
He stopped at the door to the den, bracing himself with one hand against the doorframe. “Buffy…please, I need to leave,” he choked out, and stormed out the door.
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Author's Chapter Notes:
Thank you all for your sweet, sweet reviews! Make me all warm and blushy. Chapter title by Matchbox Twenty. Enjoy the update, hopefully the wait won't be as long next time!