"I couldn't stay away," Buffy said, the sound of tears in her voice. "I'm…" She made a soft sound, almost like a sob. "I'm not whole without you anymore."
A tremble went though Spike's body, her words echoing the sentiments he'd felt since the morning he'd awoken to find her gone. Cautiously, he pulled back to look into her eyes, though he kept his hands on her arms, needing to be touching her in the fear that if he didn't, she'd disappear again. "What is this, luv? Is it one last time, or…"
Buffy's gaze didn't waver from his as she answered. "I'm here to stay, Spike. If you still want me, that is."
"Oh, baby, I'll always want you," Spike said with relief, pulling her back against him again. "I could never not want you."
"I couldn't do it anymore," Buffy said, her cheek against his chest. "I…I tried to inspire two other poets, and I couldn't. All I could think of was you. You're the only man I want to inspire ever again. I'm done being anyone's muse but yours."
Spike couldn't help but feel relieved at her words. As much as he'd known it was what she was supposed to do and he shouldn't begrudge her who she was, he'd hated to think of her helping any other poet find his words. Though he knew she had served others in her centuries of existence, he'd felt as if she was truly meant just for him.
It made his heart sing to realize he'd been right.
She pulled back from him, her eyes now shy, though Spike could still see the desire in them. "Take me to bed, William. Please..."
A shiver passed through him, and Spike wanted nothing else but to toss her onto the bed and take what had been denied to him for too long. However, he knew what she was offering him now meant she was taking a big—and irreversible—step. He couldn't let her take that step unless he was absolutely certain she was entering this with her eyes fully open to the consequences.
"Buffy, I want this more than I've ever wanted anything, but I have to know—are you sure this is what you want? You're giving up immortality, luv. If we do this now, you'll be human. You're going to grow old, and someday, you'll die. Are you sure you're willing to accept that?"
The shyness from her eyes was gone as she replied, "I don't think I've ever been more sure of anything, Spike. I don't want immortality if it means I have to spend an eternity without you. I want the opportunity to grow old—with you." She reached out and stroked his face. "Even if I knew I'd die tomorrow, I'd rather that than never getting to be with you."
Spike started to smile, though it suddenly became a frown. "You're not going to die tomorrow if we do this, are you?"
Buffy chuckled, though his concern touched her. "No. I'll just be human." Her hand came up to brush away from his forehead a curl that had escaped the gel. "Make love to me now. Make me real."
He could no longer question whether or not this was the right thing to do. Buffy was offering herself to him, and he would never be a strong enough man to refuse. He scooped her up and carried her to the bed, laying her out on his silk sheets.
She was such a contrast against the black, with her pure white chiton and golden hair. She reminded him of a new bride, waiting to be introduced to a world of sensual pleasures.
Spike was more than happy to give her that introduction…
He paused only long enough to take off his boots and pull his shirt over his head before he joined her, taking Buffy into his arms and kissing her, using his tongue and lips to stroke the flames inside of her.
She returned the kiss with fervor of her own, no hesitancy in her touch. It did much to ease Spike's worries, to ease his fears that come morning, she may regret what they'd done and in turn, regret ever loving him.
Part of him—the part that had been hurt so much in the past—expected it still. Yet, he ignored that nagging, worried voice inside and concentrated instead on Buffy and the warmth of her touch.
She pulled back, her eyes meeting his. "I won't regret this in the morning, Spike," she told him, reminding him that, at least for the time being, she was still a muse and could still connect to his thoughts. "I'll never regret this."
"I know, but…" He trailed off, his gaze breaking from hers.
Her hand cupped his cheek, and instinctively, Spike nuzzled against it. "You don't have to fear a broken heart any longer," she promised him. "I will treasure yours—as you have treasured mine."
He swallowed, cursing the tears pricking his eyes at a time when he wanted to be nothing but manly. "Buffy…"
"Shh… I know." Buffy kissed his brow. He lifted his head, looking at her directly again, and she pulled him back to her lips, kissing him until he was groaning into her mouth.
Buffy could feel his erection through his jeans, and her body trembled at the thought of finally having him inside of her. She'd spent so much time craving this, and knowing her wait was almost over made her giddy. The air around her began to shimmer as she moved to rid herself of her clothes, but when Spike's hand went around her wrist, she stopped.
"Let me do it this time," he requested. Buffy's response came as a wordless nod.
Spike started at her hair, carefully removing the beaded pins until it cascaded around her shoulders in golden waves. He combed his fingers through, relishing the sensual feel of the strands sliding over his skin.
"So soft, pet," he murmured, leaning in to catch the sweet scent of her hair as well.
Buffy moaned, her eyes closing as she savored the luxurious feel of his touch. It never ceased to amaze her that something so simple could make her feel so much when it came from him.
He took a moment then to inspect her chiton, discovering how she had it fastened before he removed it from her slowly, pressing tender kisses against patches of tanned skin as he revealed them.
Buffy sighed and trembled, kicking off her slippers as Spike dropped the fabric of her chiton down to the ground, leaving her bare under his gaze. His eyes darkened, a look of undiluted lust on his face. His breaths were harsh and uneven as he fought to hold onto his control, making the muscles under the pale skin of his chest ripple.
She licked her lips and he grinned.
"I want you," Buffy said, reaching for him to pull him back down to her. Yet Spike avoided her hands and shook his head.
"Not yet, lamb. I have to get you ready first."
"But I am ready, Spike."
The pout that accompanied her words was almost his undoing, but Spike made himself remained focused on the task at hand. He reached down to smooth her hair back from her face. "The first time isn't easy for the woman, sweetheart; there's usually some pain. I don't know if it'll be different for you since you're currently something other than human, but I'm not taking any chances. I want to make this as good for you as possible."
Buffy's brow furrowed. "This is going to hurt? I always heard it felt good…"
"Only the first time, baby. For human women at least, there's a membrane inside that gets torn when she loses her virginity. It could be different for you, but I'm still not going to do it until I've seen to you properly. Besides, even if you don't have a cherry to pop, I know you're bloody tight. I've had a hard time in the past just slippin' a bit of my fingers inside. I need to make sure you're wet enough that I can cause you as little discomfort as possible when I enter you, yeah?"
Buffy swallowed as she mulled over what he'd said. She'd had no idea this was supposed to hurt… Still, now that she thought about it, what he'd said made sense. She didn't quite know about that membrane thing, but he was awfully big. She'd had to stretch her lips to get it around him, and that wasn't nearly as wide as her mouth.
"Will it hurt the whole time?" she asked him softly.
Spike's hand stroked her cheek. "I don't think so, kitten. And I'll be as gentle as I can."
She nodded, deciding being with Spike was worth any amount of pain. Whatever she had to go through to make that possible, she trusted him to take care of her. She waved her hand. "Carry on then."
Spike chuckled before slipping down her body and settling himself between her thighs. Immediately, her scent assailed him, and he breathed in deeply, feeling nearly drunk on her already.
As he as prepared to taste her, he came to a realization: No more borrowed time. They no longer had to rely on stolen moments, desperately attempting to make memories that could last forever. She was his, and she would be for the rest of their lives.
Peace washed over him, the pain in his heart easing.
Buffy's hands were gripping the sheets, her body taut as she waited. Knowing he'd held off long enough, Spike leaned down, finding her clit and licking around it until she was mewling.
His blue irises were nearly covered with the black of his pupils as he carefully slid a finger inside of her, deeper than he'd allowed himself to before. He stopped when he reached a bit of resistance, realizing that her muse status wasn't going to spare her the pain of having her hymen ruptured.
He'd have to be extra careful with her this first time…
Spike pulled his finger back enough that he wouldn't break through just yet, then added another one, scissoring them inside of her body to stretch her as he lapped at her clit.
Her cries rose in pitch as she thrashed against his mouth, and Spike knew she was close. He pushed the fingers he had inside of her together, curved them up, and slid them across the top of her walls until…
She screamed, her body convulsing violently with the strength of her orgasm. Spike smiled against her as his tongue continued to lap at her, drawing out her pleasuring until she was limp and whimpering.
It was then that he finally climbed back up her body, wiping his fingers on her thigh as he caught her lips with his and kissed her until she was breathless.
"Am…am I ready enough now?" she asked, panting.
Spike chuckled low in his throat, and the sound of it alone was almost enough to make Buffy come again. "Just about, sweetheart." He grinned wickedly. "You're definitely good an' wet."
He came back up on his knees to pop the buttons of his fly, sighing with relief when his erection sprang free. He was painfully hard and throbbing, and he hoped he didn't embarrass himself by shooting his load before he'd had a chance to show Buffy how good it could feel to have him inside.
Spike leaned down again and braced himself on his arms as Buffy's feet came up to push his jeans off the rest of the way, a smile forming on his lips at her eagerness to get him naked. However, when her hand wrapped around him tightly, he called out, his eyes rolling back in his head for a moment before he got control of himself and took her hand away.
Buffy pouted. "Spike…" she whined. "Why can't I touch?"
He shivered, her question and that bloody irresistible pout almost breaking his tenuous control. "Because if you don't stop, then this is going to end before I'm ever inside you, kitten."
"Oh," Buffy said. "Can I touch later then?"
"All you want," Spike promised, dropping a kiss on the tip of her nose. "But let's get through this time first, yeah?"
She nodded in agreement and dropped her hands. Spike then dipped his own hand between their bodies again, slipping three fingers slowly into her. Buffy hissed at the invasion, feeling her body stretching. For the first time since they'd started, she felt genuine nervousness. Spike had warned her of pain, and she wondered now how much. His cock was a little thicker than his fingers and much longer.
Seeing the look of worry in her eyes, Spike kissed her brow soothingly. "It'll be okay, pet. I promise I'll make you feel good. Do you want me to bring you off again to ease your nerves a bit?"
Buffy nodded. "Please?"
"Of course, lamb." His fingers still inside of her, he moved his thumb up to her clit, pushing down as he rubbed in a circular motion. Buffy panted, her worries rolling back in favor of the pleasure Spike was giving her.
Her breasts bounced in front of him, glistening with sweat, and the sight was too tantalizing for Spike to resist. He dipped his head and sucked a nipple into his mouth, delighting at the way it made Buffy gasp. Her hand shot up to tangle in his hair and hold him in place, and Spike smiled around the pert globe.
Her body still sensitized from her first orgasm, it didn't take long for Buffy to come again. When Spike felt the ripples around his fingers slowing, he pulled back, taking hold of his cock and positioning it at her entrance.
Spike waited with the head of his cock nudging against her until Buffy's eyes opened lazily, still hazy from her recent orgasm. His throat tightened, the weight of the moment hanging on him, making him struggle with the force of his emotions.
"I love you, Buffy."
She smiled softly, no doubt or worry in her eyes. "I love you, too, William."
He kissed her then, swallowing her cry as he pushed inside, breeching her barrier. With more strength than he knew he possessed, he stilled his hips then, peppering her face with kisses.
"I'm sorry, baby," he murmured when he tasted the salt of her tears. "I didn't want to hurt you."
Buffy shook her head, her hands coming up to stroke his back. "No, I…" She swallowed, finding the words she needed. "I don't mind the pain. It…it tells me you're really there. You're inside me."
Spike pulled his head up to look into her eyes, awestruck by what he saw there. "Buffy, oh god, Buffy…"
"Make love to me, please. I need…I need it all."
With no more words, Spike began to move, his thrusts slow to keep from causing her any unnecessary pain. Beneath him, Buffy panted and moaned, her hands never leaving his skin, caressing him as he trembled against her.
Their eyes stayed locked, saying things they never could with mere words. Everything was laid bare between them, their hearts and souls open. The air seemed to hum around them, and Spike knew this was truly something beautiful.
He felt the pulsing of her muscles around him a moment before she screamed his name, her eyes growing wide. The feel of her coming around him was exquisite, more than he ever could've imagined, and Spike lost his control, making a few hard, uneven thrusts into her body before he spilled inside of her, her name torn from his lips as he did.
Spike collapsed against her breast, breathing harshly.
Together, they were complete.
Buffy woke the next morning as the sun rose over the horizon, and stretched her body languidly despite her sore, aching muscles. After the first time, Spike had taken her several more, introducing her to things that made her blush now to think of them.
Still, her blush was accompanied by a very satisfied smile.
She knew she was different now, though she reached out to the power that had been accessible to her for as long as she'd known to check.
She felt nothing; she was cut off completely.
Spike moved behind her, his arm tightening around her waist as he kissed her hair before asking, "Any regrets now, luv?"
Buffy turned in his arms, her dazzling smile warming him throughout. "None."
A smile growing on his own lips, Spike leaned in and kissed her.
This story's almost over, though there's going to be an epilogue on Thursday.
Please review and let me know what you thought of their reunion!