Chapter 14



Dawn was holding back her smile. Everyone in the room had been staring at the steps where Buffy and Spike had disappeared over ten minutes ago and no one had said a word. She could see it all on their faces, though.



Anya had the look of "I told you so" plastered across hers with a tiny smirk to go along with it. Giles' eyes were huge and a bright pink tinge colored his cheeks and Willow looked more hurt than anything. Buffy's oldest friend was apparently out of the loop and Dawn knew all too well how that felt.



As the tension in the room began to grow Dawn decided to make the first move and took a step backwards and sat down. The others in turn all started to move but when Giles turned his eyes to her, Dawn sank back in her seat.



"You knew about this?"



"Yes," Dawn answered him hesitantly as she glanced away from him.



Giles sighed heavily before shaking his head and removing his glasses. He mumbled something under his breath and when he looked back up at her, Dawn swallowed heavily. "Dawn you're a smart girl," he stated before replacing his glasses and straightening his shoulders. "And I'm sure you remember all too well what happened with Angel, forced memories or not, so I can't for the life of me figure out why you kept this from all of us."



"Well, Spike isn't Angel," she said softly.



"No, he's worse," Giles said a little too loudly. "He does nothing if it doesn't benefit him in some way. He's out for himself first and him helping Buffy is just an act to further his misguided affections toward her."



"That's not true!" Dawn shouted as she stood from her chair. "He helped when Buffy was gone and no one made him. He was here for me when Buffy wasn't and there wasn't anything in it for him. Nothing. Buffy was dead." Dawn tried to calm herself as tears filled her eyes and she held her chin up defiantly. Spike was the only one who had ever been there for her in that time and she wasn't going to let anyone beat him down for it.



Upstairs, Spike smiled as he listened to the conversation going on in the living room and pulled Buffy closer to him. He had to remember to thank Dawn come morning. His two favorite girls had finally stood up to their "family" for him. Something he thought would never happen.





~*~





Xander was amazed at how different things looked and felt as he walked the streets of Sunnydale. Scents he never knew existed assaulted him and his mouth watered at the thoughts of them. The small scurrying of animals rang throughout the night and the screams of an unlucky victim caused a smile to form on his face. The thoughts of someone getting what he so desperately wanted caused an angry growl to escape him as the slight tingling in his brain still sent small shocks throughout his head. The chip was there. He knew it now. Getting around it couldn't be so hard. Spike had managed for a while now. If Spike could do it, so could he.





~*~





"That's enough!" Willow yelled as she looked at Giles and Dawn. "You two screaming at each other isn't going to help."



Giles finally took a deep breath and looked over at Willow before he blushed and gave a quick glance to Dawn. Her face was red and he could see so much of Buffy staring back at him as she stood firmly and confidently. He gave her a tiny smile before looking away and taking his seat.



"Okay," Willow said calmly as she also took her seat. "The Buffy and Spike thing aside, what are we going to do about Xander? He's still out there doing lord knows what."



"Well, he can't hurt anyone," Anya said softly. "At least I don't think he can."



"Okay, that's a start," Willow said and offered Anya a friendly smile. "Do you still have the original spell? We'll need to look at it to see what went wrong."



"Yeah. It's at the apartment," Anya smiled before her eyes widened slightly. "Can Xander still get in there? I mean he was inside when he went all `grr'. Does that mean he can come and go as he pleases now?"



Willow looked over at Giles and his face held the same curious thoughts hers did. "Um, I'm not sure."



"Neither am I," Giles added. "We may need to de-invite him just to be safe."



"But where will he go?" Anya asked as tears filled her eyes. "He's all alone."



Willow gave Anya another smile before going to get the few spell components they kept in the house. A de-invite spell for the apartment was the first thing they needed to concentrate on. Once they got the spell and figured out what went wrong, they could concentrate on fixing the problem and getting their friend back. The Buffy and Spike stuff would have to come last. There was just too much to do to focus on the insecurities of everyone where Spike was concerned. Walking back into the living room, Willow sat everything down on the coffee table and looked at Giles. He smiled at her unspoken question. "Okay, first thing - de-invite Xander from the apartment and get the spell," Willow said as she grabbed her bag from the hall and helped Giles load everything they needed. "Dawn, you go back to bed. We won't be long."



"Why can't I go?" She asked. The look everyone gave her caused a heavy sigh to escape her before she rolled her eyes. "Stupid question, Dawn," she said quietly to herself before shaking her head.



Willow smiled as she watched the teen climb the stairs before the others headed for the door. As they went outside, Willow couldn't help but stare into the darkness around her as they walked to Giles' car. Xander was her best friend. "Was," she reminded herself. He was a vampire now. Did that change things? Would it make a difference to him?





~*~





The ride to the apartment had been made in silence. Each contemplating what would happen next. Would reversing the spell work? Would Xander be Xander again? Would Spike return to being the vampire they all loved to hate? Would Buffy want him to change back? As Giles finished the spell, Willow looked over at him let out a weary sigh as she felt the magic begin to lift. She knew it would always be this way. Dealing was hard. Not giving in was harder.



"I've got the spell and all the components."



Giles and Willow both turned to Anya as she spoke and they both noticed the bag lying by her feet. She smiled at them as she looked down at it. "He might be a member of the undead, but he has to change eventually, right?"



"I suppose you are, Anya," Giles smiled.



"I was just going to leave it by the door. I'm sure he'll be by eventually. The sun's almost up." She reached down and lifted the small duffle from the floor and looked back up as Giles and Willow stared at her. They probably thought she was crazy. They were probably right. As they collected everything and walked quietly to the door, Anya gave her apartment a long look before locking the door and exiting behind the others. She laid the duffle bag by the door and hoped no one would claim it as their own before Xander came back. As they walked away, Anya said a silent prayer to whoever was listening. This was all her fault and now the close group of friends that had taken her a while to warm up to was her only hope in getting Xander back. Hopefully they lived up to the hype she always thought surrounded them. This was one time they needed to get the job done. They usually did, but this time - it hit closer to home.





~*~





Xander wasn't even aware he had so much anger in him. It felt good, he had decided and realized now why Angelus had had so much fun all the time. It felt good to be bad. The anger kept him focused. It kept him centered. It kept that small twinge of regret from creeping up his spine. He knew what it was, but wasn't about to call it by name. Vampires with souls were useless. Look at Angel. Luckily for him it wasn't much of a voice. He could feel it - way back in the recess of his mind. A little light that tried to pry itself to the front of his conscience but it didn't take much to push it back where it belonged. In the dark.



As the door banged heavily against the wall, Xander growled in frustration as he threw the duffle bag he had found at the apartment across the room. He had completely destroyed the wall by the apartment door in anger at what they had done and he still wasn't satisfied. He wanted to kill something or more appropriately, them.



He could smell the rich coppery scent of blood and he could almost taste it. It made the hair on the back of his neck stand up and he turned his head to the left to where the scent was strongest. He saw the small, battered refrigerator that sat in the corner of the room and growled as he let his eyes sweep across the rest of the room. His scent was everywhere and Xander's anger only grew the longer he stood there. Trapped. That's what he was. They had left him no choice. He was forced to dwell in the lair of the creature he loathed most in the world. A smile curved his face as Spike's image filled his minds eye and he was reminded. Spike was human. Spike was fragile. A once powerful master vampire reduced to a pathetic human.



Laughter filled the crypt as Xander walked to the mini-fridge and looked inside at its contents. Fresh blood filled the shelves and he wasted no time reaching in and grabbing one of the small plastic bags. The notion of heating it never entered his mind until the first drop hit his tongue and even then he didn't care. The thick liquid slid down his throat and a contented growl escaped him as he drained the first bag quickly. He tossed the shriveled plastic to the floor as he grabbed another before shutting the refrigerator door. He turned, looking at the ratty chair and other sparse furnishings before walking to the trapped down and jumping down. He tossed the empty blood bag to the floor as he rounded the corner and he growled as he saw the bed. Images of Buffy and Spike filled his mind as he looked at it and he stalked toward it slowly before looking around the room. It wasn't his first choice in accommodations, but he really didn't have much of a choice now, did he? The sun was rising. He could feel it. It almost tickled, he surmised. The feeling was new. As were most of the sensations he had now. Foreign, but welcomed. Being a vampire had its advantages. A few of them he was sure he'd learn to love just as Spike had. Others, he'd have to find a way around. If Spike could adjust, so could he.





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