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Chapter 25


Spike's jaw was clenching and his whole body was tense. Never a good sign.

"She pushed you? She said that? She PUSHED YOU?!" Spike roared. "I know she's your cousin Buffy, but the bitch isn't going to get away with that. Any of it."

Buffy rubbed his arms, trying to calm him. "I'm all right."

He looked at her, "You weren't."

"I wasn't," she admitted.

"You didn't buy into what she was saying did you?"

Buffy looked away and then stepped away. "Hey isn't there a party you
should be going back to?" she tried lightly and tugged on his hand.

He snatched her back to make her look at him. "Buffy," he said warningly.

"Spike, I don't really want to get into it now. It's over and done with. I had
a nice chat with Angel and I'm better now."

Spike ran a hand through his hair. "But you can't talk to me now? Is that
it? I'm your boyfriend Buffy. I kind of have a big vested interest in what's
going on with you and with us. Are you going to run off to Angel every time
you're feeling insecure?"

She narrowed her eyes at him. "Maybe," she said challengingly.

"Don't do it Buffy. Don't start doing that now. You push me out now and
there isn't any hope for us," he put his hand under her chin and made her
look at him and leaned into her so that they were only a hairsbreadth away.
"Now that I've held you in my arms Buffy, there's no way I'm letting you
go."

She stepped back a bit, gaining some space. "I-I'm not pushing you out. I
just don't want to run to you everytime I'm being insecure. I have to learn
to get over these things on my own. If I don't, you'll get tired of me thus
proving Harmony right."

He grinned weakly. "Did you just say ‘thus'?"

She smiled weakly back, "I did."

"Kudos." Then, all seriousness again. "Buffy, you not trusting me has to do
with me. Don't you see that?"

"Spike, everyone has issues with trust at some point in a relationship. And
I imagine it'd get pretty stale if I kept coming to you and asking you ‘so, did
you hook up with anyone today?' or ‘Spike, I'm feeling like maybe you're
reverting back to your womanizing days, is it true?' or ‘You know Spike,
I'm feeling a quart low on my self esteem today, think you could tell me
ONCE MORE that you're not fooling around behind my back? Please,
assure me day in and day out that you still love me.' I can't imagine how
that wouldn't get old at all!" Her voice rose and rose until she was yelling.
Yelling and shaking with frustration.

Spike stared at her, apparently taken back.

"See? That's what I thought. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to collect
what's left of my dignity and go home."


Spike grabbed her arm to keep her from leaving. "No. Telling you
everyday that I love you won't get old. You running away from me all the
time, will," he told her with a slight growl.

She sighed. "Okay, yes, I was feeling insecure and wanted to come here to
check up on you. Yes, Harmony knew just where to hit to make me feel
even worse and yes, I wanted to come and see you after it all happened
because you're the one I run to when something's wrong with me except
you're the one I was stressing over so I didn't want to go to you! I was
sitting here in your car and I was debating on whether or not to go in. The
right thing to do was to not go in and see you and trust you. I needed
someone else to talk to and Angel came out and I wanted to talk to him,"
her voice was wobbling, and she was fighting the tears that were
threatening to come yet again. "I told him everything."

Spike's eyes widened. "Everything?"

She nodded. "Yes. I wanted to tell someone and he was the right person to
tell. He's my brother and out of everyone in my psychotic family, he's the
one that deserves to know most of all."

Spike leaned against a car, folding his arms across his chest. "What did he
say?"

"He was really good about it. Made me promise to keep in touch more and
tell him more about what's going on with me. And let me know that while I
was being silly about my insecurities, they were also normal."

"They are."

Her head popped up. "What?"

Spike sighed heavily and dropped his arms. "Buffy, you don't know how
much I regret the things I've done. Especially now."

"You were being a guy."

"I was being a slut. A mimbo as you put it. I was thinking with my dick
instead of my head. I didn't put any thought into what I was doing to them
until . . . well, until I realized how much I loved you."

She didn't respond, just waited for him to continue.

"I tried to keep them from you, you know. That's why I hated the fact that
you had to witness Anya. I didn't want you to be part of that. Tried to
shield you from it because I felt like I was cheating on you. At the same
time I knew I wasn't worthy of you. . . I tried to have a real relationship
with Anya. I really did. I even let her stay after sex."

Buffy tried hard not to wince at the idea of Spike having sex with someone
else. This wasn't the time to get all jealous – even if that was what had
brought her there to begin with. She needed to hear this and she could tell
that Spike needed to tell her.

Spike sighed and stood straight, watching her. "But what I was doing was
looking for you. She called me on it. She accused me of trying to turn her
into you."

Clarity dawned on Buffy. "Is that why she said I was always there--?"

Spike nodded, smiling tenderly. "Because you were. God help me Buffy, it's
always been about you."

Buffy rushed into his arms, causing a little ‘oof' to come out of him.

"I love you Buffy, so, so much. I'd never do anything to jeopardize losing
you. And I know that trust is something that's earned."

"It's just . . . weird. As my best friend, I trust you with my life but when it
comes to this . . . " she murmured against his neck.

"I know."

"I'll be better, I promise."

"I know it'll take time Buffy. Just don't give up on us okay?"

"I won't."

"Promise?"

She nodded; then looked up at him. "And as a sign of true devotion and
proof that I'm growing in all sorts of directions right along with you, I'm
going to go home and let you get back to the party."

He shook his head, "Nah."

"Nah?"

"I was missing my girl. Why don't you come in and join us."

"Spike, it's a bachelor party. Women not allowed."

He shrugged. "I think it'd be nice to have you there. Not just for me, but
for Jonathan and Lorne's already asked if you were going to be stopping by
so . . . come in for a bit? Besides, I really don't want you to go back there
without me Buffy. I don't trust Harmony as far as I can throw her."

"She wouldn't touch me."

"I still don't trust her. Don't you know that I protect what's mine? And
you, are mine."

She smiled sweetly, "That's so possessive."

"Get used to it," Spike growled playfully and claimed her lips with is.
"Come inside?"

She nodded and looped her arm through his. "I really wish I could drink. I
could really go for a shot of something right about now."

"That's my girl," Spike chuckled as he led her to the club.



"Buffy! Muffin!" Lorne blew over, sweeping Buffy up in his arms.

Buffy giggled and hugged him back. The club was actually fairly normal –
no smoking—with just a touch of Lorne's flamboyancy splashed in here and
there. It was dark, but not seedy looking with a stage and a dance floor and
a fake palm tree here and there, and comfortable plush chairs to sit in and
round tables with enough room for a group.

"So glad you're here! New developments—has Spike filled you in?"

"Sorry Lorne, figured I'd leave you to that," Spike said graciously.

"Mind if I steal her?" Lorne asked. "Just so you know, I won't take no for
an answer."

Spike grinned. "I figured as much. Go ahead, gossip. I'm gonna get a
drink."

"Don't forget to sign yourself up for karaoke!" Lorne sing-songed.

"Lorne, does the entertainment ever end?" Spike joked.

"Never, tall blond and gorgeous, never."

Spike grinned and winked at Buffy. "I'll think about it," and he sauntered
off.

"So, what's going on?" Buffy asked, turning to Lorne.

"Look over there at the boy," Lorne pointed across the room to where
Jonathan sat, alone, looking forlornly at his drink. "And now. . . look over
there. At the bar."

Buffy followed Lorne's finger to a skinny girl with long brown hair and
glasses, staring at Jonathan sadly. She appeared unsure of herself and kept
fidgeting.

"How long has that been going on?" Buffy asked.

"Since she got here about an hour ago. I haven't had a chance to talk to the
sweet thing, so I'm ever so pleased that you're here to help out. I'm
thinking you make nice and bring her over?"

Buffy smiled broadly. "I can do that. I'll work my Buffy charm."

Lorne clapped his hands. "You know I think your man has given Jonathan
something to think about."

"Oh?"

"Every chance I've gotten to pop in, he's been regaling the table with tales
of you. I think it's given Jonathan a perspective on what it's like to love a
sweet girl instead of a vapid ho."

Buffy burst out laughing. "Lorne! I'm stunned that you have such nasty
words in your vocabulary!" Buffy teased.

"I call ‘em as I see ‘em sweetness."

"All right, I'm going in."

"Oooh…Down and Dirty Buffy. I like it."

Buffy giggled and shooed him. "Go, work your magic. I'll go work mine."

"We'll catch up soon!"

"You bet we will."



Casually striding over to the girl eyeing Jonathan, Buffy slid into the stool
next to her and smiled. "Hi, how you doing?"

The woman smiled shyly, "Good, thank you."

"What are you drinking? It looks good," Buffy asked, taking the girl in. She
was tall and lean and quite pretty, her big brown eyes hidden behind the
glasses she wore.

"Oh, it's a . . . I can't tell you."

Buffy grinned, "Why not?"

"It's a Shirley temple."

"That's so sweet! I love those. You know what? I'm gonna have one too."

The girl's eyes widened. "You are?"

Buffy shrugged. "Why not?"

"I figured aside from pre-adolescents, I was the only one that liked them."

"Nah. Plus, it looks like you're really drinking something even if you're not,
right?"

"Right."

"I do have to ask though. Why come to a club if you're not going to actually
drink?"

"You're not drinking," the girl said a bit defensively.

"I'll tell you a secret," Buffy leaned closer to her. "I'm pregnant."

"Oh!" the girls hand flew to her mouth. "What are you doing here then?"

"I happen to be good friends with the owner. Plus my boyfriend is here
along with a really good friend of mine."

"Oh? Who is it?"

"Jonathan McCarthy. Know him?"

The woman was blushing now. She looked down.

Buffy turned herself so that she was facing her. "What's your name?"

"Fred Burkle."

"I'm Buffy Summers. Nice to meet you," and she held out her hand. Fred
took it lightly.

"Fred, let me ask you a question. If you had a friend that was about to
make the biggest mistake of his life, what would you do to help?"

Fred looked up. "Anything."

Buffy smiled. "Well Fred. I think this might be your lucky night."



A/N: So...whose up for Spike doing some karoake???





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