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Chapter 21

Buffy lay down on her bed, her hand over her tummy as she waited for Spike to join her. After their talk at the trellis they'd gone to get real food as Buffy's stomach was growling and she was in desperate need of sustenance. Spike didn't even say a word as she inhaled a burger and fries in less than five minutes. As a matter of fact, he found it quite amusing.
After she'd guzzled a half a glass of water down, she studied him for a minute. One question kept popping in her mind and she knew that it wouldn't give rest until she'd asked it.


"What about my baby?" she asked.

Spike looked up at her, taken back for a minute. "Excuse me?"

"What about my baby? Will you love her too?"


He'd smiled gently at her and reached out, caressing the side of her face.

"He's part of you, Buffy. How could I not love him? You knew that before,
why should now be any different?"

"I . . . don't know," she said, disoriented.


"Humor me."

She sighed. "I guess because of how she was conceived and how she's . . .
not yours. Not that we would—or that you would or even that I would—"

He shushed her with a finger on her lips. "I know what you mean."


"Then why'd you ask!"

"Like to see you squirm."


"Jerk."

"Wench."

She laughed then and he joined her in her laughter.


Sighing heavily, Buffy closed her eyes, draping an arm over her eyes. So
much had happened that day. No wonder she was exhausted. Her mind
was a whirl with it all. Harmony and Jonathan, everyone finding out she
was pregnant, Spike telling her he loved her . . . This kind of stuff normally
took a month or two to play out in a soap opera.


"Hey, falling asleep without me?"

She dropped her arm and popped open her eyes. Spike was standing in the
doorway.


"Are you done sucking up to my parents now?" she asked.

He grinned. "I'd suck up to you but my charm is lost on you."


"I don't know. You bought me a burger; you don't even know how many
points in your favor that was."


"So now I'm on the point system with you too?"

She grinned, "Yep."


"So I figure this," he climbed into bed and drew her into his arms, "gives
me points off the chart, right?"


She giggled. "Close."

He smiled tenderly at her. "Never thought I'd have just this. Thank you."


"When are you going to stop thanking me?" she teased.

"Probably never," he returned.


"I haven't done anything."

"Just this is enough."


"You are growing in all sorts of directions when lying horizontal with a
woman doesn't have to mean you both have to be naked and bodily fluids
don't have to be exchanged."


He blinked. "That's quite a scientific way of looking at it Buffy."

She shrugged. "I like to break things down and offer new perspectives."


"There can be romance along with the exchange of bodily fluids you know."

She put a hand over her chest. "Be still my heart! You know romance?"


He pinched her arm. "Behave."

She snuggled up against him and yawned. Then drew back suddenly and
pointed at him, propping herself up on her elbow. "Just don't ever use on
me those methods you use on those other girls. I'm not like them and I
refuse to be lumped in the same category as them. Understand?"


He drew her back to him, and wrapped his arms around her. "You're not
like them Buffy. You never will be and you never could be."


"It's going to take some time . . . You've been a mimbo for so long I can't be
expected to just reconcile all of that immediately."


"Mimbo?"

"Male bimbo. Mimbo."


"And you say I've been watching Seinfeld too much."

"I'm still allowed to watch it."


Spike shifted so that she was on her back and he pillowed his head on her
breasts. He placed his large, warm hand on her stomach. He began making
circles on her belly.


"What are you doing?" she asked, unable to resist the allure of being
allowed the freedom of riffling her fingers through his silky curls.


He answered her by singing softly to her belly.

Dream by night
Wish by day
Love begins this way
Night's a friend
With love to send
Each new day
Bless your heart
Bless your soul
Let your dreams come true
Future songs
And flying dreams
Wait for you

Love, it seems
Made flying dreams
So hearts could soar
Heaven sent
These wings were meant
To prove once more
That love is the key

As you wish, as you will
Dream of flying starts
Love and care
The power's there
Trust your heartTrust your heart

She felt her eyes well up. That song felt as if it were as much for the baby as for her. ‘Trust your heart', he sang. Therein lied the problem. She was never one for just letting go and trusting her heart. Her head often took over and kind of screamed at her while her heart whispered. She never did find the happy medium with the two. She had a feeling Spike was going to test that.


She hadn't even realized he was watching her until he was nuzzling the side
of her face.


"Why the tears baby?" he asked tenderly.

"Where'd you learn to sing lullabies?"


He grinned. "One of my many talents. My mum and Da used to sing to me
to get me to sleep."


"You didn't have to."

"Wanted to. I meant what I said about loving the little tot as I do you. Why
the tears?" he asked again.


"What's with the calling me ‘baby'?" she asked, dodging the question of her
tears. She wasn't ready for that yet. She still had a few guards standing,
though they were dropping by the minute.


He looked sheepish and Buffy thought how this ought to be good.

"I have a confession to make," he finally told her.


Her eyes widened. "There's MORE?"

"See, this whole weekend . . . Well, I already knew that I was in love with
you—"

She tried not to gasp at hearing him say it. It was still new to her and she
felt a part of her melt and soar when he said it.


"—And I kind of figured this was my chance to act the way I wanted to with
you. To show you, even if I knew you'd see it as acting . . . That's my
endearment for you."


"You mean all the things you've done and said before today's confession,
was because you were being how you would be . . . "


"If you were mine."

"Oh."


"Scare you more?"

"Little bit."


"At least you're honest with me about it."

"Spike, you're my best friend. The one I run to when I have something
important to tell someone. I mean, yeah, there's Willow, but you're always
the first one I go to. It's hard for me to shut off that part of me that has
always been honest with you. At the same time, there are parts of me that
are scared to . . . open up. Do you understand?"


He nodded. "I overwhelmed you."

"Yeah. I didn't expect it."


"Do you believe me though?"

"Jury's still out. I'm in shock. I can't even process it. And I think I'm too
tired to try right now."


He laid his head next to hers and pulled her closer, and then laid his head
on her shoulder. "Sleep baby. I'll be here when you wake up."


"You better," she murmured, shutting her eyes.

"When have I ever let you down?"


"Never."

"And I won't start now."


"I'm holding you to that."

"I know. And I'm holding me to it too."




**Lullaby called Flying Dreams from Secret of Nimh** Thank you dreamgirl4eva for sending me the lyrics!!!






I can't even begin to find words to thank you all for the reviews and support of this story. Thank you doesn't quite cover it...but it's the only word I know to use!!!





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