OMG FIRST OFF YAY!!!! SPIKE WON!!!! SECOND WOW AMYS DEAD. i really hope that buffy doesnt think that spike intentually killed her and that she starts to realize that he cares for her and starts to have feelings for him as well. im so happy that spike won, it would have sucked so bad if he didnt. also i cant believe that what cordy went through no wonder why she hates him so much. i logve this story and am so happy taht u updated. please update again soon i cant wait to read more and see wat happens next. thanx

Author's Response: Buffy is going to be in denial for a while longer, but I think in the end it will make the whole story better because it means she forgives him for a reason, and not just because he started to be nice to her. Thanks for the review!

Awww..I did get the sex scene..They MADE LOVE for the first time!
I was getting a bit worried when Spike was losing to Angelus..but he came through in the end..

What I want to know is...What happened to Amy? Drus overdose...killed? Why oh why did Buffy have to find her?
Thanks for the update...I was so excited to see it posted! lol Please don't be a stranger : D

Author's Response: Yay, you thought he was losing for a split second, lol. I was worried that it was predictable from the beginning. Thanks for the review!

love this chapter ..ha im addicted to this story..and the fight scene was well done

Author's Response: Thank you!

Are you gonna let Spike and Angel fight over Buffy? If you do you can not let Angel win or if you do don't let him touch her, cause I might throw up. Update soon, please!!!!

Author's Response: I plead the fifth. And thanks for the review!

"if you can manage not to speak in haiku form"
((((falls over laughing))))
Great snark and wit to this fic. It's cool Spike was like "A fight sure whatever" he could so care less that made me laugh cause Spike is always ready to smack Angel in the head. Hope you have time to add some more soon this is really a cool read.




Author's Response: I just HAD to put in something Buffy-like there :) Thanks for the review and I'm glad you're enjoying it!

The more Spike looks at his feelings for Buffy the more he seems to be channeling parts of the old him. I think for me I liked the part best where he just watched her sleep it's a little tender moment but it's so perfect. You packed a whole lot into here I like how you made it so when Buffy is lashing out Spike sees her point of view on how she thinks he views her. He really has to make his intentions more clear to her for she naturally jumps to the worst conclusions cause hey he's only shown her his worst sides. I liked how you showed in small details how he keeps trying to reach out to her with the shoulder taps, or him trying to calm her down,his holding her in his sleep. Very well done on your part you can make us want to forgive him and want her to forgive him and care for him as well.

Author's Response: You make excellent points, but I have to say I love the last line of the review, lol. It gives me hope that people will be willing to work with me on forgiving him (or at least moving on)!

Oh God when it comes to your updates I'm worse then Amy on the crack ! I'm dying for more So many cool things happened in this chapter I'm like drooling for more. you blow me away I think I may start bribing you for more chapters

Author's Response: If I had any chapters, I would surely give them to you, lol. Thanks so much for following!

I find it interesting she doesn't like it when Spike ignores her and she's trying to figure out all that went on with Drusilla. Makes total sense her jumping to the conclusion he's just using her to pass the time with till he gets back with Dru. Also I dig that Buffy loses her concentration to Darla in the process. All is not what it seem with Buffy and her feelings towards him. She is sorta like a angry cat striking out at all that try to interact with her but hey you can't trust anyone so I get her reasoning's it's great how you unfold her reactions little by little in this cause she's had so much to process along with her hurt as well.

Ok Darla being the big ho can I just say I soooooo love that I had a great laugh over that and Cordy ripping on her as well.

Not many people write out Drusilla well and I think you did good with her in this.And I love the fact Drusilla and Buffy were about equal in their fight it shows she doesn't have to take Dru's crap much longer. God Angelus in this makes me even wanna take a shower and I'm only reading the fic here I think your doing outstanding here in this for he is such a puke when evil. I think Buffy played off of Angel well exuding her hate towards Spike I don't think Angelus is concerned that Buffy would ever have any emotion other then hate for Spike.

I think Cordy likes Spike with Buffy and she sees they could be good together in some ways. I think possible Cordy likes Spike less evil like when he's with Buffy after her whole torture -fest from Angelus.

I was amused at Spike and Buffy's couple like fighting at her door. I think Buffy is justified in questioning Spikes new behavior to her and calling him on it. I was reading that and thought screaming in my head
"How does she know it's a act! You bag-o-bleach head! Tell the girl!"
Then her complete and total indifference to him rocked! I was like "That's right get lost you jerk!" heheheheh. He just keeps trying to sooth her over in words or things that might have worked on the likes of Harm but sooooo do not work on her. Heck I just enjoy her making him work so hard to try to comfort or please her and see how long it takes him to notice this are slightly amiss with her.

This line I liked “Leave!” Her voice was filled with both anger and a pleading quality.

I'm not sure what she is more confused with her anger or herself for wanting him to comfort her. It's like she won't let him show her any other side of himself to her like as long as she can keep him as a monster in her mind she can deal or something like if she holds on to him just using her for sex then she doesn't have to face her having any other feeling for him. As for Spike's part I think the only way he can show any affections is thru sex cause he's had to shut himself so far off from the world he used to live in.

I could go on and on hehehe*
It's weird cause when I read this fic I start looking at them like real people vs it just being a bit of fiction and that is the coolest thing about reading your work you forget it's a story it's so visual in the way you deliver it and suddenly you find yourself in the plot.

Once again outstanding work and much praise on this I think I love your long updates the best!~







Author's Response: I left your response for last because it's the longest, lol. You always give me nice long ones :D The angry cat analogy is pretty good! And I haaaate writing Drusilla because there's just something about her crazy lines and ways that sounds so stupid when you make it up on paper. Only things that sound right are what she already said on the show, lol. The observation about his Harm-like tactics is pretty great too, and YES! The monster point is what I was trying to say/hint at. Thank goodness it was not lost in my confusing words :P I'm glad that the characters seem to come to life for you! You like the long updates? I think you like the feelings chapters ;) Thanks!!

Yeah, I have to say I get pretty giddy when I see an update to this story. I love how Spike is playing cool with Angelus. Very concerned about a fight (between Spike and Angelus?). Also concerned about what Spike is going to do about Amy. He's got to let her go eventually, right? Rack is gonna be pissed with Spike for taking her. What if he kidnaps Buffy in retaliation? I have a feeling he won't pretend to rape her. :( Loved the update!

Author's Response: I get giddy when I see people still reading, so it's ok :) Plead the fifth on the other stuff, lol. Thanks for the review!

great update!

Author's Response: Thanks!

"Frowning, he wondered why that part of him came so naturally. He didn’t admit to himself that it was a cover – it had become the only way he knew how to interact with her without starting a fight.

And the light grows brighter.... Go PJ! This chapter is so fragile... and it wasn't until I reached the very last sentence I was assured you were going to let this be a step forward... mostly for Spike, but assuredly, that last sentence will have served to give Buffy food for thought as well as comfort.

Spike is starting to understand himself, and Buffy, better. And he's doing that whilst also playing a very dangerous game... a game he still doesn't have all the insight to he needs.

Cordelia's eyes are everywhere, taking in everything.... she worries me. I do hope Buffy gets herself together enough to start being observey-girl herself soon. Now that Dru and Angel have made a move things look likely to hot up fairly rapidly...

Don't ever apologise for the length of time you take to get a chapter written and updated, PJ. If the quality of your output is always as good as this, *innerChrissie nods head vigorously*, then the wait is well worth it.

Thank you so much for keeping the excitement alive.

Author's Response: Yes, I was told by my beta that the last sentence is the best part lol, because the rest seemed like they were hopeless, in a good way. And thank you for being so patient about updates ::hugs you for that as well as your review::

Darla and the STD's had me rolling!!! You are by far the best writer I have come across. My friend got me hooked on this fic and man it just grows and grows. I loved Buffy's confusion over who William was or is, I'm just waiting for her to call him that at some point now.
Buffy's being pulled in so many directions and I loved she could sense the true evil pooling off of Angel. So well played out the part of Spike in this update even when knowing he wil be facing her rejection he goes to her. Well done!

Author's Response: Oh I'm glad someone liked that part :) And Buffy will inquire....eventually. Thanks for the review!