When Stars Collide by wattie

1. Chapter one: Ok I'll do it by wattie

2. Chapter 2 Till tomorrow pet by wattie

3. Chapter 3: Nice space suit by wattie

4. Chapter 4- You Are a Hell of a lot More Than That by wattie

5. Chapter 5- You Played That One Well by wattie

6. Chapter 6- I Think They Saw Us by wattie

7. Chapter 7 Flawless by wattie

8. Chapter 8 - We Are Spuffy by wattie

9. Chapter 9- “In LA, It’s Called Acting” by wattie

10. Chapter 10- I Like That by wattie

11. Chapter eleven: You make me want to be nice by wattie

12. Chapter 12 - Are we Friends? by wattie

13. Chapter 13: Rehearsal by wattie

14. Chapter 14: What's my scene by wattie

15. Chapter 15 Lights, Camera, Action by wattie

16. Chapter 16: What have you done? by wattie

17. Chapter 17: Just be discreet by wattie

18. Chapter 18: Who is the man shouting at you? by wattie

19. Chapter 19: The beginning by wattie

20. Chapter one: Not now, not ever by wattie

21. When Stars Collide Chapter 21 - it’s not that easy by wattie

22. Chapter 22 I don’t hide by wattie

23. Chapter 23: Mommy do you love Spike?” by wattie

24. Chapter 24: no payment is required. by wattie

25. Chapter 25: Fairytales and Castles in the Sky by wattie

26. Chapter one: Ok I'll do it by wattie

27. Epilogue by wattie

Chapter one: Ok I'll do it by wattie
“No.”

“What do you mean no?”

“I’m not doing it Giles. I’m an actress not a piece of meat you can sell off to the highest bidder.”

Rupert Giles sighed as he tried to reason with his client. As one of L.A.’s top agents, he was used to dealing with temperamental starlets, but the client standing before him was a particularly hard nut to crack.

Buffy Summers had started out like most girls with stars in her eyes. She moved to Hollywood at eighteen and started knocking on doors the minute she got here. Finally, after what seemed like her thousandth casting call she got a part. It was not the lead by any means. However, it was a small part on a popular teen melodrama and it was enough to get an agent and most importantly more roles.

“Buffy just hear me out. You need to play the game. It’s not just about the acting and you know that.”

“Why not? I’m twice as good as half the actresses in this town. Why do I keep missing out on the lead roles?”

“Exposure. You need more exposure.”

“If you are telling me to pose for Playboy…” Buffy’s eyes narrowed.

“Of course not, the studios spend a lot of money promoting these films Buffy. They don’t feel you want to help them give the film and your career the exposure it needs.”

Buffy sighed knowing Giles was right. People magazine had done an article about her. The new Greta Garbo they called her. It was no secret in Hollywood that she was a recluse. On set, she was all about the work, turning up on time, hitting her marks. When the day was over, she went home, no wild parties, no quickie engagements and no scandals at all. This in turn equalled no press and no exposure. Hell, she had not even had a boyfriend in the four years since she came to this town. This was part of the reason behind Giles proposition.

“Why do you think you keep missing out on the romantic leads and being cast as the bitchy best friend? It’s because that’s all anyone sees Buffy. You need to show the studios you can fall in love.”

“I can fall in love Giles, you know that. It’s the staying in love that’s the hard part.” Buffy closed her eyes as she considered her options.

“Do you really think it could work?” she asked.

“I wouldn’t ask you if I didn’t.” Giles moved beside her. “Buffy, I know what your career means to you. I really think this will help you be where you want to be, where your career deserves to be.”

“Ok, I’ll do it.”

~

“Rise and shine sleepy head.”

William “Spike” Simons felt as though a freight train was travelling through his skull. ‘Am I dead’ he thought to himself. As he opened and tried to focus his eyes, he saw his agent Xander Harris.

“No, I am in hell?” he groaned as he pulled the pillow over his head.

“Bugger off Harris.”

“No way British boy. You start shooting in two days, we need to get you cleaned up and sober before you start.” Xander pulled back the curtains, flooding the room with sunlight.

“Bloody hell, turn the lights off.” Spikes head pounded as he opened his eyes.

“It is called sunlight Spike. If you woke up before three in the afternoon, you might know what it looks like.” Xander then moved to pull the covers from Spike’s bed. Knowing his clients passion for sleeping naked, he turned his head.

“If you are not in the kitchen in five minutes Spike, I come back with a bucket of cold water. We have business to discuss.”

He groaned as he rolled over and stretched his aching muscles. He did not mean to drink so much last night. It just seemed lately that one drink turned into five and five turned into twenty-five. It was not his fault. He did not ask Dru to leave him.

As he staggered into the kitchen, two Tylenols and a mug of black coffee greeted him.

“You had one minute before I was coming in with the bucket.”

“Well, I’m here now.” He eased himself onto the kitchen stool. “What business did you want to discuss.” He gulped down both pills in one go and went to reach for another four.

“No you don’t.” Xander’s hand stopped him. “I need you fully coherent for this discussion pal.”

“Ok, ok. What’s up?”

“Well, there is the smaller matter of this.” He slid a copy of the National Enquirer across the bench. The headline read “Spike’s Drunken Love Serenade.” Below it was a rather unflattering picture of him banging on Drusilla's front door. Another showed him trying to break in through a window.

Spike winced as he looked at the photos and accompanying article.

“They got it wrong.”

“What did they get wrong? The part where you were so drunk you could hardly stand or the part where you threw a rock through the window?” Xander asked.

“No, those parts are right. The song it wasn’t “I Honestly Love You” that I was singing. It was “Mandy”.” He pushed the magazine away.

“Spike have you lost you mind?” He looked at his client slumped at the kitchen bench. “Scrap that, I know the answer. I have been fielding calls from the studio and the director. They are worried Spike. Shooting starts in two days. They are concerned you are a flight risk. That you will turn up on set drunk, late or worse, not at all.”

“Hey, I never let my personal life get in the way of the work and you know that about me.”

“Yes, I know that but they don’t. We need to convince them that you have settled down.”

“How do you propose to do that in two days?” He sipped his coffee as he started to feel the effects of the painkillers.

“You fall in love.” Spike promptly spat his coffee from one end of the bench to the other.

“What? You have lost your marbles mate. I fell in love and look how that panned out.” He got up to leave.

“Wait Spike, hear me out. It’s a win win situation.”

“How so?”

“You fall in love with your hot co-star, are seen around town, build the hype and then when the movie comes out everyone will want to see the movie they met and fell in love on. In addition, the studio sees that you have settled down and stops worrying. And you can stick it to Dru by showing her that you have moved on.” Xander could see the clogs turning in Spikes mind.

“I don’t know mate. Who did you have in mind?”

“Buffy Summers.”

“Who?” Spike had not been big on the details of his latest project. He knew it was some big budget action flick. A no brainer, but the money was good and it was a chance to take his mind off his break up with Dru.

“Blonde about so tall, used to be in that show about high school.”

Spike raised his eyebrows. “Well that narrows it down some. What’s in it for her?”

“She keeps a very low profile, not big into the Hollywood scene. She needs some exposure.”

“I am sure I could expose her.” He leered.

“Spike this strictly a business affair, think of it as another acting job.”

Spike thought about his options. He really did not have that many. He could not keep putting his career at risk. Maybe this “relationship” was what he needed to get back in the game.

“Ok, I’ll do it.”
Chapter 2 Till tomorrow pet by wattie
Author's Notes:
Thanks to everyone for your reviews your feedback is great.
Buffy sat at the boardroom table strumming her perfectly manicured fingernails against its glass top.

“He’s late.” She announced to everyone in the room.

“You know actors. They run to their own schedule.” Xander his agent tried to explain.

“I am an actor. Yet somehow, I found time to be here. Giles this is ridiculous. It cannot work. He doesn’t even want to show up. Deals off.” Buffy started to get up out of his seat. “I have much more important people to meet with.”

“Now pet, we all know that’s not true,” Spike made his way into the boardroom full of the sex and swagger that had made him famous. “Otherwise you wouldn’t need me.” He extended his hand for her to shake.

“And if you didn’t spend your time stumbling from bar to bar, breaking into ex lovers houses whilst singing Barry Manilow. You wouldn’t need me.” His face fell as he withdrew his hand.

Buffy looked Spike up and down. She had seen some of his movies, but somehow in person he looked different. His eyes were the most amazing blue she had even seen. They seemed to lack a sense of life in them. His signature blond locks were in desperate need of retouching. His face so expressive on the screen seemed drawn lacking colour as if he had not seen the sun in weeks. His cheekbones, some would say his most striking feature, stood out more that usual it, seemed through lack of food. ‘He needs a good home cooked meal. He has probably been living on Jack Daniel’s and cigarettes for the past month.’ Her desire to cook that meal for him took her by surprise. Maybe she did need a boyfriend, if she was suddenly feeling sorry for the shell of the man in front of her.

Spike felt awkward under Buffy’s gaze. He knew he did not look his best. To say he was taking the pain of the break up with Dru out on his body was a slight understatement. He had barely eaten a thing in months and had solidly been surviving on a steady diet of alcohol, cigarettes with occasional protein bar on the side. He was in bad need of a detox; that was why he had a two o’clock appointment at the Golden Door Spa.

He looked at the young women in front of him. He could not understand why she needed this arrangement. She was nothing short of stunning. He had seen a few publicity shots, but no picture did her justice. He knew her reputation. Hollywood was a small town and everyone talked. From their recent exchange, he understood how she penned the nickname ‘Ice Queen’.
He had heard stories of how on set she was no nonsense and got the shot every time. However, as soon as anyone tried to get to know her, she was out of there. She was a good actress. As soon as Xander had left yesterday, he had a copy of all her work. He saw a maturity to her work beyond her twenty-two years. She could break out of the damsel in distress roles and hit the big time. If she played her cards right. That is where he came in.

The tension between the two stars was thick and Giles quickly tried to diffuse the situation.

“Right, well now that we are all here why don’t we go through the details of this arrangement?”

Spike took his seat and lit up a cigarette.

No Smoking."

Spike coughed and spluttered. "You’ve got to be joking? There are ashtrays on the table."

"I don’t mean in here."

He sighed in relief and took another puff.

"I mean around me."

"This is outrageous. I don’t have to put up with this," he said as he got up from the chair.

“Spike, sit down.” Xander cautioned.

“I don’t spend 3 hours a day in the gym and live on a steady high protein diet to pollute my body with second hand smoke.”

“Ok then,” he searched his mind for the right condition. “Mini skirts.”

“What?”

“Mini skirts, you can only wear mini skirts when you are with me. I don’t want my reputation as a ladies man slipping if I am seen with a dowdy sensibly dressed girlfriend.” Spike leered.

“Giles this is ridiculous. I haven’t worked this hard for the last four years to be treated like a piece of meat to further my career. I am better than this.” She was fuming now. She should have trusted her instincts. She did not need a man, let alone Spike Simons to further her career.

“Ok everyone, let’s just settle down.” Giles tried to diffuse the situation, but he could see the next few hours were going to be tough. “Let’s calm down and try to get through this like the mature adults I know you can try to be.”

Buffy and Spike stared at each other, a battle of wills to see who would look away first. Buffy won.

“Ok, but the smoking stays. I will try to cut down in front of the Ice Princess here.” She tensed at the sound of her nickname. She was not dumb. She knew her reputation on set would precede her, but at least the people she worked with were kind enough to call her that name behind her back. Somehow hearing his words aloud hurt her more than the whispering behind her back.

Spike saw the hurt play across her face. He cringed inwardly at being so hurtful towards her. He always seemed to have this habit of his mouth talking before his brain had time to catch up.

“It has to be real.” Buffy started. “No one knows about our arrangement besides the four people in this room.”

“Agreed.”

“And while we are together there can be no one else. If either of us meets someone, we will tell the other before we start the new relationship. I did not work this hard to maintain a personal life to have it turn into tabloid fodder just to further my career. Got it?”

Spike could see how important this was to her. He did not put up a fight; not that he wanted to. He really could not see the downside of being linked to such a gorgeous women for ….

“How long?” he asked.

“How long what?” she replied

“Our relationship. How long will it last?” he asked.

Xander looked down at the shooting schedule.

“Well there is the initial six weeks of shooting then four months post production. So, I would say to be safe, six months.” Spike’s eyes widened with shock.

“Six months, I can’t even look at other women for six months. Surely I can get some kind of conjugal visit.”

“Spike it’s not prison.” Buffy rolled her eyes.

“So how far will we take this relationship?” he looked her up and down.

“Not far. Spike I am not having sex with you, not now not ever. It can’t be that hard to keep it in your pants.”

“What about kissing pet?”

“What about it?”

“Well isn’t that what people in love do. They kiss, often and passionately.”

Buffy felt the room suddenly get very warm. She hated how he seemed to flick the ‘I’m too sexy to function’ button inside himself. She hated the way it affected her even more.

“We kiss.” She could have sworn she saw a flash of desire cross his face. “But only for the cameras. And no tongues, I can only imagine where yours has been.”

Spike smiled to himself. He liked Buffy; he did not intimidate her. It was refreshing.

“So when do we start?”

“Tomorrow we start production.” They all stood up and started to leave the room.

Spike went over to Buffy, placed his hand in hers and kissed it. Buffy pulled it back as though she had touched something hot.

“Till tomorrow pet.”
Chapter 3: Nice space suit by wattie
Author's Notes:
Thanks to eveyone who is enjoying this fic.
She hated this part.

Whilst Buffy loved acting and making movies, she hated this part. The waiting around between shots, waiting for the lighting, sound to be just right and she hated the fact she had to spend most of her time waiting with Spike.

They were currently standing in front of a large blue screen, which they had been told by the director would be filled with images of Mars. The planet they were in the process of protecting.

The first week of shooting had been going well and gossip on the set was already centring on the two blonde stars that seemed to have as much chemistry on screen as off.

She looked at him and tried hard not to laugh. “The Space Identity” was a futuristic thriller. This meant that Spike was currently dressed in a silver jumpsuit, which looked like Liberace’s costumer designer had designed it.

“Nice space suit.”

“Shut up. I thought I was going to be all rugged like Han Solo, not dressed like a reject from Studio 54. I look like a disco ball threw up on me.”

His pants were made from a heavy silver fabric and his shirt was a tight fitting black number with a nice big v-neck. It showed off his nicely toned torso, not that Buffy was looking of course.

“Next time I sign a contract pet, remind me I want sign off on all wardrobe choices,” she laughed.

“At least you don’t have to wax to wear your costume.” She looked down at her barley there space suit. She was sure she had seen something similar in the last Victoria’s Secret catalogue.

“I may not know much about space travel, but I am pretty sure that in the year 2050 female astronauts won’t be running around the red planet in outfits that are a scrap of material away from bra and panties.” She said as she adjusted herself back into the costume for what seemed like the hundredth time today.

Spike was trying hard not to stare, but the barley there space suit Buffy was currently wearing was not helping the situation. No matter how hard he tried, his eyes kept going to places he knew he should not be looking.

“At least when the shoot is finished, I will have a new set of underwear.”

The thought of Buffy in a pair of underwear suddenly made the sound stage they were on very hot. Before he got himself into some serious trouble, he changed the subject.

“So pet, Xander told me about this party tonight.” He was trying to sound casual.

“Yeah, Giles called me this morning about it too.” Buffy sounded as excited about it as she would a root canal.

“Don’t sound so excited pet. You will have a great time with all the free food and drinks you can handle. This is quite ironic seeing as though everyone there can afford all the food and drink they could handle anyway.”

That part of being a celebrity always fascinated Spike. All the years he had scrimped and saved as he tried to get his big break, now that he had the money people gave him free things left and right.

“No drink for me. Alcohol and me are unmixy things. Come to think of it. Parties and me are unmixy things too. Can’t we both stay at home and tell Giles and Xander that we caught some stomach bug on set?

” His eyes lit up at the thought.

“No pet, they would see right through it. Think of the bigger picture. No pun intended.”

Buffy laughed at the lame joke. “You’re right.”

“So, I guess it’s our first date then,” he joked.

Spike saw the look of anxiety flash across her face and he could not help but feel a little hurt. He knew he was not the best-looking guy around, that was what Brad Pitt was for. However, he did not think he was that bad either. He looked down at his costume, blinded momentarily by the shiny appearance. ‘Even Brad Pitt would look bad in this.’

“I guess we do need to start our “relationship” sometime. I will just have to make sure my sister is ok at home tonight.” She sighed.

Buffy was really dreading this plan. However, she knew she did not really have a choice. She needed to raise her profile in order to get the better roles. There was more at stake than any of them, especially Spike, knew. Nevertheless, it was a double-edged sword. She had worked so hard for all these years, trying to keep the publicity and gossip out of her life. She was afraid that if she let them in a little, she could not stop them from pushing their way into her life completely and that could not happen.

The more Spike had thought about it, the more he liked this plan. Nothing would get Dru’s blood boiling than to see him with someone like Buffy. She was the complete opposite of her. The blonde hair and all-American looks were very different from the un-dead wannabe look that Dru was famous for. The best part was that Dru would see he was happy. Sure, the happiness was fake, but Dru loved to keep him miserable. She got off on it in a way. To see the two of them hand in hand blissfully happy would send her around the bend. Something about the image of Buffy and himself walking hand in hand, laughing, having a good time made his pulse quicken. He quickly shrugged the feeling away.

“So, what time should I pick you up? I think Xander said it started around eight.” His voice broke her from her thoughts.

“No. How about I get the car to pick you up, I mean it’s not like a real date or anything. I can pick you up say around 7:45.”

Her words came out harsher than she had meant them to be. While she was quite willing to pretend to have Spike in her life, yet the idea of actually letting him made her panic.

“Sure, pet if that’s what you want.” Spike tried to hide the disappointment in his voice.

“Ok, people places. Let’s get ready for the shot,” the director’s voice broke them out of their conversation.

“That’s our cue.”

As they started their scene, Buffy wondered if their performance at the party tonight would be as convincing as the one they were doing right know. In addition, why did she have a feeling in the pit of her stomach that was telling her that she really did not need to act at all?
Chapter 4- You Are a Hell of a lot More Than That by wattie
Author's Notes:
Thanks for all your support and reviews.
Buffy sat nervously in the limo as it waited for the traffic lights to change. She checked her purse for the twentieth time. She pulled out her compact and made sure she looked okay.

Looking okay was an understatement. When she got back to her trailer after the day’s shooting, she mentioned to Lorne the hair and make-up artist on set that she had to go to a party. In a flash, he had her sitting in the make-up chair and working his magic.

Buffy always wore make up on set. She hated wearing it any other time. It made her feel like she was at work. Lorne had created the look envied by women across the world. The ‘I look like I am wearing no make-up look’. It always amazed her that it took an hour to look like she had just stepped out of the shower. Lorne’s magic did not stop at the face. She was quite happy to wear a simple pair of jeans and a red top, but he would have nothing of it.

“Sweetie, you really have never been to one of these things, have you?” he asked as he started doing her hair.

“Is it that obvious?” She shifted uncomfortably in the chair. If she could not fool Lorne, how was she going to convince the country that she had suddenly turned into Miss Party Girl 2006?

“Well, the way you want to dress. It looks like the last party you ever went to was in high school." He chuckled and he swept it up into a messy bun.

“Fred get Ralph on the phone for me tell him I need a party dress in a size two,” Lorne’s assistant jumped at the request. “I need it here in about an hour.”

Therefore, here Buffy sat as the limo pulled up to Spike’s house. She felt dressed up, as if she was going to the prom and feeling about as nervous as she did on her prom night.

~

When Spike heard the knock at the door, he was fully expecting to see the chauffer on the other side. He was pleasantly surprised when he saw Buffy looking as beautiful as anything he had ever seen.

She was wearing a dress that caught him off guard. He had only ever seen her in either the stupid space costume or casual clothes. The dress was an emerald strapless gown and came down to about her knees. It had a chiffon overlay that softened her features. He wanted to touch it to see if it was as soft as it looked. He wanted to touch her to see if she was as soft as the fabric. The dress was not overtly sexy, but she looked sexy as hell in it.

It took him a few moments to realise that he was staring at her.

“Spike, are you ready to go?”

He just kept staring.

“Look, I know I look stupid, but Lorne insisted. Are you ready?” Her voice snapped him from his daze.

“Yeah, let’s go.” He followed her out to the waiting limo.

Buffy tried not to show that she was hurt by Spike’s admission that she did look stupid. Well, not that he said that exactly. It was the point he had not said anything. He did not have to either. He was under no obligation to woo her with pretty words. This was a business transaction, a meeting of sorts. There was no need for niceties because they were not being nice to each other. They were just doing their job.

Lost in her thoughts, she did not see Spike stop and open the limo door for her. She ran smack into him.

“What are you doing Spike?”

He looked at her questioningly.

“Opening the door for you pet, what does it look like?”

“Why would you do that? Its not like we are on a date or anything,” she tried to keep the hurt from her voice.

“Date or not, I am not some kind of git who does not open the door for a lady.”

She stoped and looked him in the eyes before she got into the limo. The only thing separating them was the car door and how Spike’s body was responding to Buffy in that dress, he was glad.

“You think I’m a lady?” As she looked at him, she felt herself being drawn into a world where Spike was the only thing that meant anything.

“I think you are a hell of a lot more than that pet.”

~

“Ten minutes before we get there sir,” the drivers voice broke the uncomfortable silence in the back seat of the limo.

“Thank you,” Spike pressed the button that made the petition between them and the driver raise.

“What are you doing,” Buffy shifted nervously in her seat.

“Settle down pet. I won’t bite, hard,” he smirked.

“You’re bent.” She turned and looked out the window, as if the passing scenery had just become the most interesting thing in her life.

“But, I bet it would make you scream.” Her head snapped back to give him a look of disgust. “Now that I have your attention, what are we going to do tonight?”

“I don’t know. I was hoping you would tell me. That’s the whole reason for me doing this. I am not big with the party girl image. I was going to follow your lead.” She told him quietly.

He could not believe the terrified girl sitting in from of him was the same girl today who had fearlessly hung from the studio rafters from wires. A part of him wanted to tell the driver to turn the car around and take them both home. He did not want to make her do something that she quite clearly did not want to. However, he knew that they had a job to do. He would make it as easy as he could for her.

“I know you don’t want to do this pet. But, trust me it is for the greater good. I will make you a deal; we will only stay as long as we have to. I will make sure we get seen by all the right people and even some wrong ones.” He winked and was glad when he heard her chuckle.

“How do we act, you know together. Are we in love?” she looked up at him from under her lashes.

‘No, but keep looking at me like that and I won’t be far from it’ he thought to himself.

“No. We don’t need to be in love. Just the simple fact we will arrive together will start tongues wagging. Remember if anyone asks if we are together say ‘we are just friends’” Spike saw hurt quickly flash across her face.

“Don’t want to ruin your rep,” she tried to make the statement not sound desperate but failed.

“No, pet don’t ever think that. Ever. It’s just that if we say we are just friends, everyone will think we are all hot and heavy.”

“Really?” She did not sound convinced.

The limo pulled up at the red carpet. Spike grabbed her hand as he waited for the door to open.

“Trust me,” he pulled her hand to his lips and kissed it.

She still felt the kiss as the door opened and he pulled her from the limo.

“Showtime.”
Chapter 5- You Played That One Well by wattie
“Hey B, looking good,” Buffy rolled her eyes as she answered Faith’s call. “How the hell did you snag such a hottie?”

Buffy looked at herself in the make-up mirror of her trailer. Sure, she knew she was not the hottest thing around but she was not ugly either.

“Thanks for the compliment Faith, you sure know how to build a girls confidence.” Faith laughed down the other end of the phone.

“No, I didn’t mean you could snag a hottie. Just how did you? You never go out to the market, let alone one of the hottest parties in town.” Buffy felt the nerves rise in her stomach.

“How did you know I was at a party last night?”

“B, you know this town. You only have to look in the wrong direction and everyone knows. Oh, that and the fact that your little night out is lead story on most of the gossip TV shows and websites. The two of you make quite the couple. Did you have a good time last night?”

~

As soon as Spike helped her out of the limo, it was as someone had put the night on fast forward.

True to his word, Spike looked out for her. He stayed close, made sure that they were seen and photographed by all the right people. Every time someone asked them, what was going on, it was the same response.

“We are just friends.”

Once they made it inside the party, she did not feel much better. It seemed as though anyone who was anyone was there. In fact, if they had dropped a bomb on the party the only person left to play James Bond would be Pauly Shore.

Buffy felt very out of place she hung her head as her own way of hiding from the crowd. Spike sensed her discomfort.

“Hey, you deserve to be here Buffy. Look at me,” her eyes met his. “Don’t hide who you are. The people in this room would be privileged to know you. Not the other way around.” Her mind swam at his words.

He made her feel at ease, she could see why he had come so far in the Hollywood system. He thrived in this environment he was so relaxed. Buffy sipped at champagne to try to relax. When that did not work, she reached for another, but a hand came out and stopped her.

“Not so fast, pet. I wouldn’t drink if I were you. This isn’t a party; remember this is business. One wrong move and all the press between here and London will know so quick it would make your head spin faster than the second glass of champagne.”

Buffy felt as a child scolded for eating too many sweets. She looked away embarrassed. Spike quickly caught her gaze.

“I don’t say it to be mean, love. Its just I would hate to see you get hurt.” She looked into his eyes and felt the room spin ever so slightly. She tried to blame it on the champagne, but deep down she knew the reason.

~

“Yeah it was fun,” Buffy answered Faith’s question. She was going to elaborate when one of the runners stuck his head in the door.

“You’re needed on set in five minutes Ms. Summers.”

“Faith, that’s me. I gotta go. Are we all still on for Friday?”

Every Friday night, her and her friends would get together for drinks and their weekly recap.

“Of course, later B.”

~

“Spike man. Good work” Xander congratulated him.

“Thanks mate,” Spike was looking for his script, which he had sworn he had left in his trailer last night.

“So, what do I owe the pleasure of this call?” Spike asked.

“No particular reason, just wanted to let you know that you and Ms. Summers are the name on everyone’s lips. You played that one well.”

“I didn’t play her Xand.” His tone was defensive.

“I know you didn’t play her. I meant the way you played the media. I forgot how good you could be at it. You should see the photos today. You can practically see the sparks.”

“Yeah, well I have always been a great actor,” but he knew there was very little acting involved.

Spike closed his eyes and memories of the night before came flooding back. Something about having the small blonde beside him all night brought out the champion in him. He led her down the red carpet, shielding her from the swarm of press. He could see her obvious discomfort in the situation. He fielded all the hard questions. In fact, he fielded most of them; having played the game for so long, he knew how to give them what they wanted to hear.

Buffy had no experience, in some ways she was a lamb being lead to the slaughter and she looked just as scared. He wanted to protect her from all the things that scared her. The look of gratitude she gave him as he took control of the situation did things to him he did not want to admit. He wanted to care for her, protect her and he wanted to do that for longer than just one night.

He shook the feeling off. He could not afford to be anyone’s champion, no matter how badly he wanted to. He had tried to be Drusilla’s and look how well that had turned out. This was business and like oil and water, it and pleasure did not mix.

“Next thing you guys need to do is be spotted.” Xander broke him from his thought.

“What do you mean spotted?”

“You need to be seen coming out of a restaurant or supermarket, wearing baseball caps and sunglasses. You need to look like you are hiding, but can still tell it’s you.”

Spike chuckled at the thought. “I think this is the first time in my career that you have wanted me to be seen with a hot young co-star.”

“Well, at least this time you don’t have a girlfriend.”

“I did not cheat on Dru. She had that market cornered in our relationship,” the betrayal still stung.

“Steady on Spike, I know that. I’m just saying I am enjoying being your manager a lot more when I know the headlines you are going to create before you create them. I must admit it is a refreshing change.”

The knock on the trailer door interrupted them.

“Mr. Simons you are needed on set in five minutes,” the runner advised.

“Thanks. Look mate, I gotta go. I will run the spotted idea past Buffy today and let you know, okay?”

“That’s great Spike. A few more photos like that and you will have the whole world convinced you are in love. Talk to you later, bye.”

As Spike hung up the phone, he wondered if he would need to convince himself in the process.
Chapter 6- I Think They Saw Us by wattie
Buffy pulled down on the baseball cap for the twentieth time in the last five minutes. She had agreed to meet Spike at a local coffee place. It had seemed like a good plan at the time. Grab a coffee, window shop a little, hold hands and look as though they were a couple.

As she stood waiting for him, the butterflies in her stomach were telling her that today’s outing might not be as simple as first thought. She felt exposed; every person that looked at her caused her to look down at the pavement. She hated being on show this way. It was different when she was acting because she was not herself, but playing a character. She could lose all her self-inhibitions and let go. Sometimes she wished she could do that behind the camera as well as in front of it.

Spike was late, she would have been more surprised if he had not been late for every other meeting they had had. She hated that about major actors. They lived so far away from the real world that they had forgotten how it works. She would bet her Prada pumps that he had not cooked himself a meal in years and laundry, forget about it.

She was just about to leave when she felt a tap on her shoulder.

“Hey Pet.”

She turned around to see him. He looked every inch the movie star. His designer ripped jeans hung on his hips. He wore a tight vintage t-shirt that had hula girls on it, the t-shirt and jeans did not quite meet showing just a hint of the tight stomach underneath. The outfit was completed with his rock star, dark sunglasses; his platinum hair, which was still wet from his shower somehow made the dark lenses, seem almost too dark to see through.

“Do you ever arrive on time?”

“Some women find it appealing that I arrive after them.” He smirked.

“Really? Well, I am not one of them. And might I say, way to blend in with your hair. You might as well have a neon light pointing at us.” She huffed.

“Well, part of this exercise is that we get noticed. The hair will help that.”

“I just don’t see why I have to wear the baseball cap, it makes me look dumpy,” she sulked.

He lifted her chin with his hand, moving in closer with his eyes burning into hers.

“Look at me love. Trust me when I say you look as beautiful as I have ever seen.”

She wanted to believe him. She looked into his blue eyes and wanted to believe she was beautiful, that she was his even if it was just for this moment. That it was all real.

He was moving in closer and closer she licked her lips in anticipation. He was going to kiss her and more importantly, she was going to let him. Just as his lips were going to touch hers, he moved to whisper in her ear.

“I think they saw us,” His voice sounded like liquid sex, which she was starting to think he was made of.

Way to go Buffy a guy tells you you are beautiful and you loose all sense of rational thought.

“What?” His voice had broken her from her thoughts.

“The photographers, on the other side of the street; I think they saw us.” He quickly moved back from her gesturing towards the other side of the street.

She looked across the street, but could not see any photographers.

Spike could have kicked himself. What was it about this woman in front of him that had him going from cool as ice movie star to snivelling ponce in 30 seconds? She looked so beautiful standing there. He had taken a few seconds to take her in before he had said hello.

There was no expensive gown to cloud his judgement this time. She wore a pair of jeans that fit snugly across her hips. They were low, not Paris Hilton low, but low enough to get his blood pumping. Her tank was a deep green and made her eyes stand out even more. There was no denying it. She was breathtaking.

Standing waiting for him, he could tell she was uncomfortable, shy even. It made her even more interesting; in front of the camera, she was as fearless an actor as he had ever seen. However, standing here in public, she looked nervous, scared even. He wanted to know what had made this women feel so ill at ease in the world.

He had wanted to make her feel comfortable. If he knew anything about anything it was women, and the quickest way to make them feel comfortable was to compliment. As he had told her how beautiful she looked, his thoughts of making her feel at ease faded into the background. He wanted to make her feel like the most beautiful women in the world, because to him at that moment, she was.

He shook all such thoughts from his head, thinking like that lead to no good. He had felt that way with Drusilla and look how well that had turned out. The excuse about the photographers was for her own good, as well as his. If she knew that she could do to him with a look, he would be as good as gone.

“Let’s go do this then,” he reached out to take her hand. She recoiled back from him shocked.

“What are you doing?”

“Fishing for trout, I am trying to hold your hand. Don’t know about where you come from pet, but its kinda what couples do.”

“We are not a couple,” she sounded as if she was trying to convince herself as well as him. “This is a business arrangement Spike, nothing more.”

“You and I know that pet but, to the outside world we need to be in love. Can you play that part pet?” He needed her on side for this to work. He did not want to scare her off so early on, but as this thing wore on, there would be a lot more than hand holding happening.

“I don’t know if I am that good an actor.” She shot back a little too quickly.

He tried to mask the hurt he felt. Did she really think he was that repulsive? At least it would make not being attracted to her a little easier. He looked at her again. Her eyes were a colour green he had never seen before. They were beautiful. Oh yeah this was going to be a piece of cake. Yeah and Marisa Tomei deserved that Oscar.

He reached for her hand a lead her towards the coffee shop.

“Well, I know I am. So, let’s go get that cup of coffee, shall we?”
Chapter 7 Flawless by wattie
Author's Notes:
Thanks guys for all the reviews. Glad you are enjoying this one. I know I am enjoying writing it.
The weekend’s outing had been a complete success. No sooner had Buffy stepped in the door, her cell started ringing.

“I’ve already had E, the Insider and ET on the phone asking for comments.”

“Hello to you too Giles,” she rolled her eyes.

“Don’t be like that Buffy. I know you hate doing this, but the plan is working.”

She took in his words. Did she hate the plan? She did not know what was more unnerving, the fact that it was working or the fact she did not really hate it at all.

~

Once her initial jitters had gone away, she and Spike had enjoyed a pleasant afternoon. Buffy kept looking around as they walked the streets trying to see if anyone was watching them.

“Stop it love.”

“What? I am not doing anything,” she looked shocked.

“If you could turn your head any further around, you would give that bird from the Exorcist a run for her money,” he laughed.

“I’m just checking to see it anyone is watching us. That’s all,” she explained.

“I know exactly what you are doing. The more you look like you are trying to be noticed the less likely you will be,” he explained.

“It’s just that I am not used to this.” He could tell by how her nervousness came off her in waves.

“What, walking hand in hand with a handsome guy in public or just the walking in public part?” He asked knowing the answer.

“A bit of both, truth be told. I am not used to having my life on show.”

“I don’t think it’s quite on show pet. Relax, pretend I’m a girlfriend and we are on a shopping trip. Isn’t that what you birds love to do?” He tried to make light of the situation to help her relax.

She looked down at their joined hands.

“I don’t usually hold hands with my girlfriends.”

“Really,” he raised an eyebrow. “You should try it.”

“You wish,” she laughed.

“Yeah, I really do,” he smirked.

They kept walking down the street in a comfortable silence, which in typical style Spike broke.

“So, tell me ’The Buffy Summers E True Hollywood Story’,” he had wanted to know what made this girl tick from the moment he met her.

“What?” She had no idea what he was talking about.

“How did you end up here, in La-La land?”

“Well, it’s kinda embarrassing.” She started to blush.

“Tell me anyway. I am going to need to know all about you, you know just in case I get asked questions about you during interviews.” However, that was not his reason. His reasons were one part wanting to get to know her and one part getting her to blush like that again.

“Well, I won Miss Sunnydale when I was sixteen and part of the prize was a trip to LA to meet with some agents do a casting and stuff. It didn’t work out, so I came back home went on with my normal life.”

He could tell by the way she had skipped the ‘not working out part’ that she did not want to talk about it.

“So how did you end up back here?”

“In the summer between high school and when I was starting college, my mom, she was hit by a drunk driver on the way home from work.” She said blinked back the tears.

“So, my plans changed and I had to get a job and fast. I had my sister to take care of. A job at the local Double Meat Palace was not going to cut it. I packed us up and moved out here, found some of my old contacts and got lucky. Well, maybe not lucky, but I got a job which lead to another and another and here I am.”

He stoped walking and looked at her with new eyes, amazed at the story he had heard. From the moment he met her, he knew she was something different; not like the other starlets that came seeking fame and fortune. She had just needed a job, one that could support her family. He admired her for her strength and for a lot more than that.

She had not realised that he had stopped until he pulled her back to him.

“I didn’t realise that you had such a--” he searched for the right words.

“Responsibility, yeah, no one does. I learned quickly that image is everything here and no one would hire you as the ‘Teen Queen’ if they knew you had a family to support. That’s why I keep my private life private. That and it’s a lot easier to put all the fame stuff into perspective when you have a family to support. I don’t want to play the game. Just want to do the work and go home.”

“But playing the game is part of the work pet.” He finished the sentence for her.

“So it would seem.”

“So, it’s just you and your sister then?”

“Yeah, but you know how sixteen year olds can be a handful.”

If he did not know any better, he could have sworn that he saw a look of fear cross her face. He took her hand and raised it too his lips.

“Don’t worry love; your secret is safe with me.”

They kept walking hand in hand, stopping to look in the windows of various stores on Rodeo Drive. Spike saw one out of the corner of his eye.

“This will get them talking,” he said as he dragged her to the front of the Harry Winston’s store.

Spike watched the range of emotions play across her face, as she looked at all the dazzling jewels in the window. He knew she made good money, but as he had just learned, she would not spend it on such extravagances.

“What’s your pleasure love?”

He saw the wonder in her eyes as she looked at the diamonds in front of her. It was one of the things about her that kept drawing him in. Over the years, he had grown accustomed to the point of complacent to the Hollywood lifestyle and all its attractions and trappings. In Buffy, he saw the wonder in her wide-eyed excitement and part of him wished he still had the same feelings.

“That,” she pointed toward a two carat round cut diamond studded earring set with a matching floating pendant.

“Solid choice. It reminds me of you.”

“What, simple?” she joked.

“No, flawless.”

~
“So Giles, what’s the next move?”

“I don’t know. Let’s see what the press makes of it and take it from there.”

A knock on the door broke her from her thoughts.

“Giles there is someone at the door; I will talk to you tomorrow.”

She snapped her cell shut as she opened the door.

“Delivery for Buffy Summers,” the UPS guy handed her a box. “Sign here,” she took his pen and signed the con note.

As she opened it, what she saw inside took her breath away.

“Flawless.”
Chapter 8 - We Are Spuffy by wattie
Author's Notes:
Thanks to everyone who has reviewed and supported this fic. Enjoy
“Spuffy.”

“What, with the who?”

“Spuffy, that’s what everyone is calling us love.”

Buffy stared at him blankly as he pulled up a seat beside her at the craft service’s table.

“You know, TomKat, Bennifer, Brangelina and Bennifer. We are Spuffy.”

“We are nothing, but you are crazy,” she laughed as she ate some more of her salad.

She looked across at him. She had been filming close ups all morning, this was the first time she had had a chance to speak to him about the package he had sent to her.

“Spike about the--” she started.

“You look good.”

His words started her, what did he mean by that? Buffy looked down at her costume, the same one she had worn everyday of the shoot. Why today did she look good and when did she start looking for hidden meanings in what he said. ‘Oh, that’s right since he sent you half a diamond mine with no reason.’ Maybe the jewellery was a part of a plan to seduce her along with the sudden flurry of compliments.

In addition, what if it was a plan to seduce her? Would she go along with it? She would be lying to herself if she did not admit that a tiny part of her had hoped that it was real. Sometimes she would look into those blue eyes that would not quit and get lost. Lost to a place that the diamonds, the window-shopping, the holding hands were all real.

“Thanks, I think.” Still not sure on how to take his kind words.

“No, I didn’t mean now,” he saw hurt flash across her face. “Although you do look fantastic. What I meant was you look good in the photo’s pet,” he dropped the latest copy of US Weekly down in front of her.

On the cover was a picture from their outing. They were walking down the street holding hands. Spike was smiling at her and she was laughing at something he had just said. They looked like the perfect couple. Underneath was the headline “SPUFFY LOVE?”

‘Good question,’ they both thought.

One that Buffy had been asking since that dammed present turned up on her doorstep. ‘What did it mean? Was it a present? Maybe she had misinterpreted what he meant when he said pick one, maybe she had to pay him back. Did he feel sorry for her? After telling him the tale of woe that was her life, maybe he took pity on her. Pity that was it. Did a guy buy you diamonds because he felt sorry for you?’ Her head was starting to spin with all the questions. There was only one way to find out.

“So Spike, I got your package yesterday,” he looked up from his lunch.

“Oh yeah,” she looked at him in need of further explanation.

“About that. When I got home, I thought if they had taken photos of us in front of the store you would want something to show for it.” She looked at him puzzled, not quite sure of the answer she was hoping, no expecting from him.

“Why would I need something to show for it?” she asked.

‘Damn, why did this bird have to be so smart? What was he supposed to do give the real reason? He did not want to give her the real reason. That being that he wanted her to have them. He wanted to see the look of joy and awe on her face as she wore them. Wanted to give her some happiness in her life. To see her eyes sparkle just like the diamonds he had bought her, because he wanted to. Because he liked the way he felt when he was with her. The things she made him do, think to do, want to be a better man for her.’

“Well in case you were asked in an interview what I bought you.” He hoped she was buying it. He was also hoping his heart was buying it too.

“Ok, you didn’t have to do that. I mean we could have made something up.”

“I can take them back if it makes you feel better about it. Have some feminist thing against a bloke buying you presents,” he was trying but failing by not sounding hurt by her words.

“No, I just meant they were an expensive gift you didn’t have to buy. Thank you. I love them.” She placed her hand over his. He could tell the thank you was genuine.

‘Keep looking at me like that love and I would give you the world if I had it,’ he thought. Then berated himself, why did he keep doing this. He kept falling for the girl, one look into a pretty young thing's eyes and he was gone. However, he knew it was more than that. As famous and as jaded as he was. Feelings were feelings and they did not care if you were rich famous or falling in love with your co-star.

“Guys, I am glad you are here together,” Gary the Assistant Director came up behind them. “Need to go through some script changes.”

Buffy had gotten used to this, no matter how many times she turned up to a shoot with her lines memorised. There were always changes. Gary handed them the new pages. As Buffy scanned them, she felt sick.

“In light of recent developments we have decided to add a couple of extra scenes.”

~

“Giles I won’t do it,” Buffy paced frantically around her trailer as she yelled into her cell phone. “They can’t change the movie this way. It’s not what I signed on for.”

“I understand that, but in light of recent events, they feel this would hope to boost viewer interest, please try and look at the bigger picture.” Giles tried to reason.

“Giles all I ever do is look at the bigger picture. That’s what got me in this mess in the first place. What about the small picture Giles? The one that has me half naked and doing a sex scene with Spike?”

He really had no good answer to that one.

AN: This fic has been nominated at the Fool for Love awards http://community.livejournal.com/_fool_for_love_/ . Check out the the site and nominate your favourite fics. Nominations close soon so don't delay!
Chapter 9- “In LA, It’s Called Acting” by wattie
Author's Notes:
Thanks everyone for your reviews. I am glad you are enjoying it. A big thanks to whomever nominated it at the Fool For Love awards. Enjoy
“So what are you going to do?”

Buffy took another shot of tequila from Faith and shot it into her mouth.

“Get blind drunk,” she replied as she swallowed the harsh liquid.

“Well I can see that,” Faith took the empty glass and handed her another “I was talking about the sex scene. What are you going to do about that?”

“Get blind drunk,” she replied as she took the shot swallowed it back.

Buffy had called Faith from the set, moving their weekly Friday night drinks up to Monday, in response to the new development. They were currently waiting at the Bronze for the rest of their friends to arrive.

“I don’t understand the problem B. I thought you were getting all hot and heavy off camera. What is the difference if you have to do it in front of it as well?”

Buffy flinched as Faith asked the question. She wanted to tell her the truth, but the deal was no one except Giles and Xander could know about the true status of their “relationship”. All it would take would be one comment from a source close to the couple. In addition, the press would cast doubt the validity their romance and all their good work would be undone.

“It’s just that,” she searched her increasingly fuzzy mind for a good excuse. “I’m uncomfortable being intimate with Spike around other people.” She hoped that sounded convincing.

Faith handed her another shot as the rest of the gang entered the bar. Well, it was not so much of a gang, just Willow and Anya. She had met them at her first job. Not an acting role, but that of a waitress. The group had bonded over rude customers and lousy tips; even though all had moved onto bigger and better things, their friendship had remained strong.

“Buffy, I saw you and Spike in the magazines and I know how long it’s been since you have had sex. So, I bought you a present to help you get back on the horse,” she handed Buffy her gift.

“It’s not a vibrator is it?” She asked cautiously as she started to unwrap it.

“No, that’s getting back on the mechanical bull,” Anya explained

“I guess you are right about that.” Buffy laughed as she tore the paper away.

“They are ribbed for your pleasure. Although looking at Spike, I am sure he is already ribbed for your pleasure.” Everyone groaned, as much as they were used to Anya’s outbursts, sometimes she crossed the line.

“So what is the reason for the emergency girl’s night?” Willow asked as she sat down at the bar next to Buffy. “We are already up to tequila. This can’t be good.”

“They gave me some more scenes,” Buffy explained.

“So, it’s not a crisis then. This is celebratory drunkenness. Great count me in.” Anya grabbed one of the many shots that were lined up on the bar.

“More scenes, that’s good sweetie. More scenes, equals more exposure. What’s wrong with that?” Willow asked.

“More exposure is right.” Faith smirked. “Tell them B, otherwise I will.”

“Due to recent developments in our relationship, they wrote us some extra scenes, sex scenes.” She groaned as her head fell forward and hit the bar.

“I do not see the problem here. You are paid to get all groiny with your hot boyfriend and are paid to do it. I would kill for that job,” Anya shrugged. She could not see what the problem was.

“Yeah, there is a name for getting paid to have sex Anya. It’s called prostitution.”

“Not in LA honey, it’s called acting,” Faith replied.

~

Spike sat on his balcony and looked over the Hollywood hills. He took a drag of his cigarette and sighed as he exhaled the plume of smoke. He looked down at his hands; they were shaking.

He was nervous; he should have been happy, ecstatic even. To the outside world, he had it all, the fame, the fortune and a hot co-star. Who would not want to do a love scene with one of the hottest women in Hollywood? That would be Spike. He had paled when he got the new pages, a love scene. Could things get any worse?

He was struggling, as it was to keep his feelings in check. The lines between fact and fiction were no longer so clear to him. Their fake relationship was stirring less than fake feelings within him. The closest that had come to was hand holding. His attraction would be a lot harder to hide when all that would be separating them was a modesty pouch.

He wanted to kiss her, had wanted to ever since she turned up on his doorstep dressed up for the party. In fact, if he was to be honest with himself, he had wanted to kiss her from the first time they had met.

However, he did not want it to be this way. Under the scrutiny of an entire film crew having directions shouted out from the director on what should be done and when. He wanted it to be intimate, to be about the two of them, not some fictional characters in a stupid film. When he would think about making love to her, it was in his bed not one on the filmset. He wanted it to be real, not fake.

Moreover, that is where the problem laid. It was not real, sex scene or not, what they had was a sham. What he wanted was real. He wanted the shopping trips, the holding hands, the parties, he wanted to do it all and he wanted to do it with Buffy beside him.

The ringing of his cell broke him from his thoughts

~

“So what are we going to do?” Willow asked as she tried to help a very drunk Buffy from the dance floor. After a rousing dance performance of Cher’s “If I Could Turn Back Time”, they had decided as a group it was time for her to go home.

“We should call her a taxi.” Anya answered as she took her cell out of her bag. Faith stopped her and grabbed Buffy’s purse.

“I’ve got a better idea,” she said as she took Buffy’s cell out and searched its directory until she found what she was looking for. She waited until the person at the other end picked up and handed the phone to her.

“Hey B, call for you.”

Buffy grabbed for the phone.

“Hello, who is this?” she asked.

“It’s Spike. Buffy is that you?”
Chapter 10- I Like That by wattie
Author's Notes:
Thanks again guys for all your great reviews. I have been blown away by the amount of support i have had so far. Enjoy
“Don’t cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me?”

Spike looked to the passenger seat of his convertible, to see a very drunk Buffy singing very badly.

He had figured it was Buffy even though her drunken slurs were a little hard to understand. Her friend Faith had explained that they were at the Bronze and that Buffy needed a ride. He was out the door and on his way before the phone had hung up.

When he got to the Bronze, her friends met him. They were trying to help a very drunk and happy Buffy stand up. She was propped up against Faith.

“Hey guys look, it’s Spike and he’s wearing a coat.” Buffy stumbled towards Spike.

He rolled his eyes. This was going to be fun. He could feel all eyes upon him checking out his worthiness for their friend.

“You must be the new man,” Faith held out her free hand to shake.

“You must be Faith.” Spike smiled as he shook her hand.

“Oh, I love that song too. ‘You gotta have faith, faith, faith.’” Buffy tried to break herself free from her and start to dance.

Who knew that once she had had a couple of drinks in her, Buffy suddenly became her own walking talking karaoke bar.

“Hi, I’m Anya.” Spike shook her hand, “I don’t know what Buffy is so worried about. I would love to get all groiny with you.”

“What?” He was confused.

“Forgive Anya, her brain and mouth work in two separate time zones. I’m Willow,” the pretty red head introduced herself.

“Pleased to meet you ladies,” he looked over at Buffy who was still happily singing the words to George Michaels ‘Faith’.

“So, what was the reason for all this drunken debauchery then?” He asked.

“Well, Buffy was freaking out that she had to have s--” Anya started.

“Salad,” Willow jumped in, she was sure that Buffy did not want to share her insecurities with her co-star come boyfriend.

“What?”

“Salad, she hates lettuce and the director told her she had to eat more salad. She thought he was saying she was fat and sorrow and drunkenness followed,” Willow prayed that he was buying it.

“That’s ridiculous; she doesn’t need to go on a diet.” He frowned at the thought. “I will speak to him about it tomorrow.”

“She’s all yours man. I took the liberty of ringing Dawn and telling her that Buffy won’t be home tonight,” she unhooked Buffy’s arm from around her shoulders as Spike took up the other arm around his.

“You did what?” He asked. He had planned to take her to her home. Taking her back to his place could make things complicated.

“Well, I thought she would want to stay at your place anyway and I knew she would not want Dawn to see her in this state. If you have a problem with that, I can always take her home with me?” Faith looked at him questioningly.

‘What could he do? Backed into a nice little corner he was. If he told Faith she could not stay then she might get suspicious and blow their cover.

“No, no problem,” he sighed as he placed her in the car. “But, if she hurls; you’re pay for half the cleaning.”

Faith laughed as she hopped in her cab.

“Don’t cha?”

Buffy rolled her head to the side trying the focus on Spike. He kept moving. At least she thought he was moving, maybe she was moving. It was all very confusing and nauseating at the same time. She rolled her head back and looked up.

“Spike, I don’t want you to panic, but the roof of your car is missing.” She could see the night sky whizzing by her. She reached both arms up trying to catch the stars.

“I won’t panic. It’s a convertible love.” He laughed.

“I like the sound of that.” She smiled back at him.

“You should get one for yourself. I hate to sound cliché, but I do love the wind through my hair.” Buffy reached over and ran her hands through his hair; a shiver running through his body closely followed it.

“As if the wind could blow through your hair,” she ruffled the locks. “Why do you slick it back anyways? It looks way cuter all ruffled.”

Mental note, ease back on the hair products. Spike took a deep breath. He would not take advantage of the situation. He could not pin his hopes on her drunken rambling’s.

“Thanks for the tip,” he responded.

“Anyways, I wasn’t talking about the car. I’m not a boy you know.” She pulled down the visor and looked in the mirror to reapply her lips gloss, in what he was sure was her way of emphasising her point.

If there was something in this world he knew with 100% certainty, it was that Buffy Summers was not a boy, not even a girl. She was a woman, one that was driving him insane and he loved the ride.

“I don’t have to have a big sexy car to prove how much of a man I am.” She pressed her lips together.

“And I guess all the Prada shoes and bags you wear are just because they match the outfit.” He quipped.

“Hey, I am a public person. I have to look good for the job, if not for anything else.” She pouted.

“Trust me, you would look good, public person or not love.”

She looked over at him. Had he always been this good looking? Yes, he had. She knew that for sure. Had it always affected her the way it was at the moment? She was not so sure.

“That’s what I like, not the car. Love. I like it when you call me love.” She looked over at him with new eyes; sure, they were slightly inebriated eyes. However, sober or drunk she could not deny her growing attraction towards him.

“Your eyes are blue.”

“I know pet.”

“No, I mean they are the most amazing blue I have ever seen.”

She gave him a look that was slowly bringing him undone. He turned his attention back to the road, tried to get a hold of himself and steer into safer waters before he got them both into trouble.

“So, are you sure you don’t want to go home?” He kept his eyes on the road waiting for her answer.

“Buffy, love, do you want me to take you home?” He looked over to see Buffy passed out.

“I will take that as a no then.”
Chapter eleven: You make me want to be nice by wattie
AN: Sorry for the delay. Finishing one fic and starting another took more time than i thought it would. Hopefully it is worth the wait. Thanks to everyone for all your feedback. Want to say a big thank you to Angelic Amy for all her help with this fic


Buffy did not know why the club’s thumping bass was still reverberating through her head as she woke up.

‘Did I fall asleep in the club?’ She opened one eye. She was not in a club, she was in a bedroom, but not her own. She sat bolt upright as she realised she had no idea where she was. She looked under the sheet and her clothes were still on. That was a plus. She tried to remember the previous night’s events. As the pieces started fitting back into her memory, a sickening feeling settled in her stomach that had nothing to do with all the alcohol she had consumed.

“Spike,” she sighed as she threw herself back down on the bed.

“You rang,” he appeared in the doorway carrying a tray. The tray contained coffee and the universal hang over cure of bacon, eggs and hash browns and a bottle of Tylenol.

“How did I end up here?” she asked as he came and sat the tray on the end of her bed.

“You are welcome,” he remarked as he gestured to the tray.

She wanted to stay angry but her body craved the breakfast that was before her. She sat back up and picked up a piece of toast.

“Thanks,” she broke off a piece and popped it in her mouth. “So how did I end up here?” she asked shyly. Buffy hated the fact she could not remember. She was all about the control. She could not afford to loose it. She had family to consider.

“Dawn,” she scrambled to find her cell to call, “She will be sick with worry. I have to call her.” Spike placed his hand on her arm to still her. Buffy tried to ignore the butterflies that suddenly had taken up residency in her stomach.

“Don’t panic love, Faith called her, told her you were coming here.” Buffy was confused by why she would do that.

“She thought you would not want to her to see you in your drunken state.”

“Oh,” she had many questions running around in her head. She thought the best place to start was with a cup of coffee.

“Why didn’t you take me home last night?”

“I was going to, but Faith thought it would be better if you stayed with me.” She looked confused. “I didn’t want to push the issue and make her suspicious.”

“Oh, I guess that makes sense.” She opened the painkillers and took two. “I should not drink, me and alcohol does not mix.”

“So why did you feel the need to jump into the bottle of tequila last night?” he asked.

“Oh, Willow had a bad day at work,” she searched for a reason anything was better than the truth. “So we all went out in sympathy with her.”

Spike was not buying it. He knew Willow’s excuse last night was sketchy at best, but Buffy’s lie just confirmed it.

“Really when I met her she seemed quite sober,” he remarked. “In fact I think she drove Faith home.”

Buffy looked away nervously, “Well, not everyone can hold their drink as well as me.”

He could not help but laugh at that. “I guess you don’t remember the impromptu karaoke session in my car last night.” Her eyes widened in shock. He leaned forward; he was so close he could smell the freshly brewed coffee. “Amongst other things,” he leered.

“I don’t believe you,” she said defiantly as she searched her brain for any sexed filled memories. She was coming up blank. She pushed away her pang of disappointment.

“Got me there, pet. I was a perfect gentleman.” He held up three fingers, “Scouts honour.” He got up off the bed. “Not that you didn’t give me enough chances.” The look of shock and shame that was painted across her face was priceless. However, it was quickly replaced by a look of anger.

“I did not and would not ever offer myself to you in that way Spike,” she got out of bed and faced him. “You are nothing to me; you are a means to and end.”

“Still doesn’t mean you don’t want it,” he inched towards her. “My end that is.”

“You’re a pig Spike.” She started to leave when he stopped her.

“I didn’t have to pick up your drunk ass last night. I had better things I could have been doing.” He crossed his arms over his chest not giving up with out a fight.

“What a Passions marathon?”

“A thank you would not be out of place here. I helped you out last night and breakfast this morning. I don’t do that for just anyone you know.” It was true Dru rarely stayed over and if she did, she always left before he had woken up.

She looked down at the tray on the bed. He had gone to so much trouble. If it had been anyone else, she would have been touched. However, it was not someone else, it was Spike and he could not, would not touch her either by breakfast in bed or any other way. She was confused as to why he was going to all this trouble. She was not one of his women and was never going to be. Why was he wasting his time on her?

“Why are you being so nice to me?” she asked.

He was expecting the next round of verbal abuse. Her question came as a shock to him.

“I don’t know," he inched forward and swept a stray curl behind her ear. “You make me want to be nice,” he moved closer.

Buffy felt the air leave the room as he moved closer towards her. He was going to kiss her, no reporters to fool or front-page story to create. A real kiss. Kissing for kissing’s sake. She could feel his breath on her lips. Things were getting too complicated, grey areas were slipping into her life. She needed black and white, not grey.

She pushed him away, grabbed her bag, and stormed out.
Chapter 12 - Are we Friends? by wattie
Author's Notes:
Sorry for the delay in updates in a bit of a rut with this one but i am getting back on track. Enjoy!
“You look horrendous!” Lorne exclaimed as Buffy slumped into the make-up chair. “What puddle did you drag yourself through on the way here?”

“I had a big night,” was all Buffy offered up in way of explanation. “Followed by an awkward morning.”

“Interesting,” Lorne raised an eyebrow as he started dabbing concealer under Buffy’s eyes. “Spill, tell uncle Lorne all about it.”

“I don’t want to be rude, but I’m not in the mood for a heart to heart. Head pounding a little too loudly.” She winced as she closed her eyes and sat back in the make-up chair.

“Gee, the cat’s got everyone’s tongue this morning.” Lorne kept fussing with Buffy’s look as she tried hard to tune him out. “Couldn’t even rouse a hello from Spike this morning.”

Her eyes shot open at the sound of his name. Spike was here, already. She thought he had a late afternoon call. Buffy had been hoping not to run into him today. She had gone straight home from his house to have a shower and check that everything was okay at home.

“Oh, I didn’t realise he was here already, he never mentioned it this morning.” As soon as she saw Lorne’s eyes grow to the size of saucers, she knew she would let the cat out of the bag.

“Oh, honey, lovers tiff?”

Buffy took in the question, was it a lovers tiff? She did not know the answer. They were not lovers, so in part the question was no. However, they were not exactly just friends, either. She needed a definition. This morning’s display, the breakfast and the having her stay the night. If a friend had done these things, she would be grateful to the point of happiness. If a boyfriend had done these things, she would be weak at the knees calling all her friends telling them how sweet then guy in question was. However, Spike was neither her friend nor boyfriend. He was her co-worker. Sure, a co-worker who she was pretending to be in love with. Speaking of which, what was with almost kissing her this morning? She frowned as she considered this. Perhaps the more important question was what was with the wanting to kiss him this morning. She was confused. Spike, their relationship, fake or otherwise, was making her lose control and act crazy.

“Keep that up, sweet cakes, and you’ll have to make nice with Mr. Botox,” Lorne snapped her from her thoughts. “But not today, you are done.”

Buffy looked at her reflection, stunned.

He had done wonders. Gone were the tell tale signs of the night before. It was amazing what a dab of concealer and the correct application of foundation could do. You could not tell that she had been out on the town, let alone hung over. She wished she could pop some concealer on her thoughts about Spike, and erase them from her mind.

~

Spike had read the same page of script for the fifth time this morning; he had gotten in early to go over his lines. He was not having much success.

Buffy.

Since she had stormed out, his mind had been filled with questions. Why did she storm out on him? Why had he made her breakfast? Why was he disappointed that she stormed out on him?

He was attracted to her, no doubt about that. However, that did not stand for much as he was always attracted to beautiful women. This was something more than a fleeting affection that he felt. He wanted to know her, help her, and understand her.

Nevertheless, she had pushed him away, physically and emotionally. He had played that game with Dru once too many times. He was not willing to play it again not matter how much he wanted to.

He closed his script and made up his mind. He would do the job he was payed for, both on the set and off. Play both roles, one of the superhero space captain and the other of doting boyfriend in the latest celebrity couple. That is all it would be, a role, a part to play, no attachments and that was the way he liked it.

The knock at the trailer door surprised him he was not due on set for another three hours.

“Spike, are you there?” Buffy called through the door.

Spike put his game face on, got up and opened the door.

“Yes.”

“Have you got a minute? I wanted to talk.”

“Gee Buffy; I thought this was a pretend relationship. Can’t I be spared the heart to heart talks?” He instantly regretted the words as he saw the hurt wash across her face.

“I understand, maybe another time then,” she turned to walk off.

“Buffy, wait,” she stopped and looked back at him. Role or not he could not stand being the reason for the hurt in her eyes. “I was harsh. Come in.”

She hesitated before she stepped inside the trailer. Spike sat back down on the couch and motioned for to do the same.

“Thanks, but I’ll stand,” she looked around the trailer. Taking in her surroundings, there was less black than she expected and more books too. Spike was a bookworm; maybe he was one of those guys who had a tonne of books around him to make him look intelligent.

“You wanted to say something pet?” he was looking at her strangely and it did not help that she had been standing there without saying a word for the past few minutes.

“Thank you.” If he had been looking at her strangely before, he was now looking at her as though she had grown a second head.

“Thank you for this morning and last night. It was above and beyond the bounds of our agreement,” she waited for him to respond.

“You’re welcome,” Spike was beyond confused. Was this the same women that had run from his home less than two hours ago?

“You see, I am not used to this,” she motioned her hands back and forward between them. “My life is complicated at best and what we have… what I mean is our agreement makes things more complicated and that just makes me wig out.”

“I didn’t mean to complicate things Buffy. I was just trying to help.”

“I understand that. It is just hard to accept. I don’t have many people offering to help me, well other than my friends but they don’t count.” It was Spikes turn to be hurt by Buffy’s words.

“You don’t think I am your friend?”

“Are you my friend?” she asked quietly. He moved over to her and looked her in the eye.

“Yes I am your friend. If we are going to make this work professionally or otherwise we need to at least be friends.” The smile that spread across her face warmed his heart.

“It’s just that I have gotten so used to people wanting something from you in this business it makes you more than a little guarded.” She shifted nervously under his gaze.

“You only have to be guarded if you have something to hide. Do you have something to hide Buffy?” he asked.

“No.”

“Then we will get along just fine.”
Chapter 13: Rehearsal by wattie
AN:Ok guys sorry for the delay in chapters for some reason could not get into the groove of this one but never fear i am back on track. Also want to say a big thank you to the kind person who has nominated this fic at the Spuffy awards. Enjoy


Buffy sat at the lunch table tucking into her Caesar Salad. She was in between takes and enjoying not being in front of the ever-present green screen. Spike however, still had some close-ups. As she had a few moments to herself, she reflected over the last few days.

Since their truce, Buffy and Spike settled into a nice routine. In between takes, they would go back to Spike’s trailer to run lines, eat lunch and catch up on the latest episode of Passions.

Of course, the rumour mill on set was running over time. Whispers of lover’s trysts in the middle of the day made Buffy laugh. The truth was that the most passionate thing happening in the trailer was debates over little Timmy’s latest scheme.

However, there was still something weighing heavily on Buffy’s mind. Tomorrow they would be filming their “love scene”. On one hand she wanted to appear at ease with the whole scenario, as if she did love scenes every other day. The truth was she had never done anything like this before. A PG rated kiss here and there on the TV show but nothing where actual clothing was removed. Just that thought alone terrified her. The fact she had to remove clothing in front of Spike made her head spin and not in a good way.

She had checked her contract and she had stupidly not added in a nudity clause that she had not seen the need for. How nude did you have to be on the set of a sci-fi film? Unfortunately, she would soon be finding out.

“You look like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders,” Spike said as he made his way over to her table. “Penny for them?”

“What?” she shook thoughts of Spike and removing of clothing from her mind.

“Your thoughts, a penny,” Buffy continued to look confused. “Never mind. What’s up pet?”

She sighed as she pushed her salad around the plate. “Nothing.”

Spike laughed at her response. “For an actress, you are a surprisingly bad liar.”

Buffy looked up at him and smiled. In the short time they had spent together, they had developed an ability to read one another. It was a great help during filming being able to help the other’s performance. Nevertheless, the way Spike used it against her all the other times drove her crazy.

She did not want to tell him how nervous she was, but Buffy knew he would take one look at her on that day and know exactly what was up. The whole day was going to be uncomfortable for them both. The least she could do was tell him why she was so nervous.

“About tomorrow,” she started. Spike knew exactly what she meant as he nervously ran his hand through his hair.

“Yes, what about it?” he asked.

She looked away from him she could not do this with him staring at her like that. She took a deep breath and just let all her words and fears spill out. It was better he laugh at her now and not in a room full of people tomorrow.

“It’s just that, well I don’t know what to expect. I mean I know what the script says we have to do. I know all that part, it’s the other part,” she looked up at him expecting to see a smirk on his face and mocking in his eyes. She saw none of the above they was he was looking at her with such intensity she almost wished for the mocking.

“Other part pet?”

“Well, let’s just say all my intimate encounters have never been filmed for a movie. They have been up until this time, funnily enough a private performance. I mean not that I put on some kind of performance.” Her cheeks were starting to turn red now.

Spike had seen Buffy go from beautiful to stunning before but looking at her now, she looked a cute as he had ever seen. He stopped staring and pulled his thoughts back to the question at hand.

“Well for one, it will be a closed set, just in case you thought every Tom, Dick and Harry within a ten mile radius was going to turn up.” Her giggle told him he was making her feel more comfortable.

“And I will of course be a perfect gentleman the whole time,” his smirk gave him away.

“I doubt you know how a perfect gentleman behaves Spike.”

“Hey, I take offence at that. I will have you know that I was raised in the land of perfect gentlemen,” he sat up and straightened his space suit as way of proving his point.

“What I mean is there will be no peaking on my part. I will keep a professional distance,” his words were sincere.

“Isn’t that going to be hard seeing as though we will both be half naked with our tongues down each other’s throats and who knows where else.” Spike could sense her anxiety rising. He took hold of her shoulders and pulled her around to face him.

“Listen, it is going to be okay. Sure, it will be a little awkward at first but if you trust me, you will be fine. I won’t peek, won’t stay longer than required and won’t take any enjoyment from the experience at all.” He could see her nerves disappearing.

“I don’t know whether to take that as a compliment or not.”

“Take what as a compliment?” he asked

“The not enjoying it part.” The blush that crept over her face made him smile.

“Trust me love, it will be the best acting I have ever done.”

“Thank you Spike, I felt silly being nervous and was afraid I might freeze up and ruin the movie,” she looked away from him and began eating her lunch.

“My pleasure pet. Of course there is another way to get over the nerves.”

“What’s that?”

“Rehearsal,” she slapped him playfully on the shoulder and laughed.

“I don’t think so Spike.”
Chapter 14: What's my scene by wattie
AN: Sorry for the wait between chapters. Thanks to Meli my beta and Brat for being my sounding board :)

Chapter 14

“Can you stop with the fidgeting please; I will poke your eye out with this eyelash curler if you are not careful.” Lorne scolded as Buffy tried to sit still.

It was not an easy task considering the nervous energy flowing through her veins. Today was the day she had been dreading, at least she was telling herself she was dreading today. Her and Spike were filming there sex scene today.

“So, ready for your big scene today?” Lorne asked as he applied blush to her cheeks, not that she needed much just the mention of the scene made her blush.

“You know, done one love scene done them all,” she said trying to sound casual and failed miserably.

“Well, you will have to give me all the juicy details tomorrow.” He pulled out the hair straightener and started working on her hair.

“What do you mean tomorrow Lorne? As if you won’t be down on set sneaking a peak,” she laughed knowing that it was not her he wanted a peak of.

“I wish honey, but your man went all shy and insisted on a closed set. No one but you, Spike the director and the sound and camera guys.”

Lorne continued to fuss with her hair as Buffy’s head swam with questions. Why had Spike done that? It was a widely known fact that he had no qualms about striping of in front of cameras or otherwise. What possessed him to request a closed set? The knock on the trailer door broke her from her thoughts.

“Package for Miss Summers.”


He needed a smoke bad. He had not smoked all morning and his body was having major nicotine withdrawals, couple that with the bundle of nerves currently in the pit of his stomach, he was a wreck.

Looking down at his hands, he was shaking. See if he had a smoke the shaking would stop, however it would also meant he would have smoker’s breath and he did not want to have that. Not today of all days.

He had spoken to the director last night to request a closed set for today’s scene. To say he was surprised was an understatement. Spike knew he had a reputation for being an exhibitionist; he was comfortable in his own skin. What he was not comfortable with was touching Buffy’s skin. Not in an I do not want to touch her kind of way but in an I want to touch, I want to touch a lot kind of way.

He had never been this worked up over a love scene before. It was just another part of his job and he approached it in the same way he would any other part of the movie. He was playing a role, any thoughts, feelings, desires he had were not his own but his characters. He did not know that thing when his feelings began and his character in the movies and the character he was currently playing in the media finished. He had blurred the lines, which was always a bad idea. This was why he kept his distance.

He had learned his lesson with Dru. Having real feelings invested in relationships was just a recipe for disaster. This whole fake relationship was supposed to be a way to protect himself, his heart from being broken. In the beginning with Buffy, it had been easy to keep his distance. His first impression of her had helped curb any feelings. However, as he got to know the real Buffy the distance between them was narrowing.

In addition, he wanted to get closer, close enough to touch, feel caress. Spike felt himself react physically to his thoughts. ‘Great I can’t even think about her without getting turned on. How am I going to keep my professional distance whilst grinding against her when I can’t even keep from thinking about her?’

This was why he needed a smoke.

He grabbed the packet from his pocket and took the cigarette from it. He wanted to smoke it but something stopped him before it had reached his lips.

He wanted to make this perfect for her, she had confided in him her fears about today and he was doing whatever he could to make her feel at ease, the not smoking, the closed set and the present he had sent to her.


Lorne was smart enough to know when to keep his distance. He made himself scarce as soon as the messenger delivered the box to Buffy.

The box was about the size of a shoebox and wrapped in a deep blue tissue paper, she took the card that had been attached to the deep red bow on the box.

Buffy,

I hope this gift helps calm your nerves. No need to worry, I promised no peeking and I always keep my promises.

Spike

She opened the box and pulled out a flesh coloured bandeau. A modesty band if you will, for her to wear today instead of having to be naked from the waist up. She smiled to herself. She was sort of hoping for some hard liquor but this would do.

Just when she thought she had Spike all figured out, he surprised her. Compared to the drunken shell of a man she had met a couple of weeks ago, he had made a complete turn around.

The penny dropped about the closed set. He did not request it for himself but for her, so she could feel at ease. However, it had the opposite effect to know that he had gone to all that trouble, that he had cared enough to close the set, send her gifts. Made her feel a completely different kind of nervous.

Another knock at the door made her jump.

“Miss Summer the set will be ready for you in five minutes.”

She took a deep breath as she stood up and looked at herself in the mirror. She was trying to look calm and it showed on her face. She could do this and if she could not, she knew Spike would be there to help her through it.

That thought alone made her feel calmer than she had felt all morning.
Chapter 15 Lights, Camera, Action by wattie
The sound stage was eerily quiet as Buffy stepped out onto the set. Usually it was a hive of activity. Grips, gaffer’s sound and cameramen were all buzzing around setting up for the day’s shots. The hair and make up crew fussing around the cast.

Today however, because of the closed set it was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. Instead of making her feel more at ease, the lack of people made the whole situation different, more intimate somehow. She did not want to feel intimacy and the nerves that had taken up residency in the pit of her stomach. She needed to be detached today. This scene needed to be like every other she had filmed to date. However, as much as she tried to convince herself, she knew in the back of her mind that it would be like no other scene she had ever filmed.

“Good Morning Buffy,” Spike voice broke her from her thoughts. She turned to see him standing behind her.

He was so annoying; here she was a bundle of nerves almost to the point of being sick. In addition, he was there looking cool as ice, as though it was everyday that he hopped into bed with one of his co-stars. She pushed back the thought that told her he did hop into bed with his co-stars every other day, and the jealously that followed it.

”Spike,” she looked as nervous as he felt. Spike had had a little more experience at hiding his true feelings. Which he was going to use to his full advantage, he knew if he showed his true feelings Buffy might freeze up and they would never be able to get the scene done.

“You look stunning love,” Buffy gave him a funny look.

“I don’t know, it’s the same old costume as yesterday, this silver isn’t getting less shiny.” She nervously smoothed the fabric over her body. “I just wanted to say thanks for the present Spike; it was really sweet of you.”

Spike could feel the blush creep up his cheeks. What was this girl trying to do to him?

“Places,” the director’s voice broke the silence between them.

Buffy took a deep breath as she started to make her way onto the set. Spike’s hand on her arm stopped her.

“It’s going to be ok, love. No need to worry, we will get through this. Maybe one day we will even be able to laugh about it.” Her skin warmed under his touch, if this is how she felt now, how was she going to be after hours of rubbing against him.

“I’m not nerv…” she could see the look of total disbelief on his face. ”Ok, I admit I am a little nervous but you don’t help it Mr. Cool, Calm and Collected.”

He watched her as she took place on set. He must have been putting on a great face if she thought he was cool, calm and colleted.

“Ok, so what I want from you guys is a run through so we can set up lighting and two cameras,” the director advised as they took their marks on the stage.

Buffy took some deep breaths and tried to get into character.

“Ok places, quiet on set, Action.”

“Lieutenant, thank you for seeing me on such short notice.”

“No problem Captain. What seems to be the problem?”

“Well, I can’t seem to focus properly, simple task are hard to complete.”

“Anyway I can help Captain? All you need to do is ask.”

“That’s the thing lieutenant, you are the problem. I can’t get my mind off you; you’re all I think about.”

“Really, I am?”

“Yes, you are.”

Buffy had gotten through the first part the lines but as Spike was coming towards her, she knew the hard part was going to begin. Just as he started to lean into the kiss, he gave her a look of reassurance. The look threw her off base and before she had time to process what it meant, he was kissing her.

“That’s great guys, Spike keep kissing Buffy I need to lean back a little more,” the director’s voice broke the intimacy of the situation. Buffy tried to break away but Spike held her close and pushed her back slightly, helping her do what the director asked.

“Ok, now Spike I need you to kiss down her neck and Buffy I need you run your hands down his back and reach for his shirt.”

Buffy was beginning to realise why Spike was such a good actor. He took direction really well. His kisses were hot down her neck and she tried hard to suppress her own desire for him.

“Buffy, I need to pull at the shirt and take it off. Spike I need your right hand to come up and feel her breast.”

It seemed to Buffy as though Spike’s hand was already on her breast before the director had finished his sentence. Spike stopped kissing her long enough for her to take off his shirt. For the first time since they had begun the scene, she looked into his eyes and they were dark with desire.

At that point, something snapped in Buffy, she wanted this, wanted Spike to kiss and caress her, Buffy not some second rung lieutenant on a non-existent space ship. She knew that in real life she would never be this brazen or give herself the chance to be with him. Therefore, she took the chance to take what she had wanted and needed for so long.

She could here the director’s voice in the background but paid not attention to it. She took Spike’s face in both her hands and kissed him, liked she wanted him to kiss her. She felt his resistance for the briefest moment as she ran her tongue along his lips asking for entrance and heard his moan as he let her in.

She ran her hands along his bare back and revelled in the feel of his skin. God, how she wished they were the only two people in this room. She felt the front zipper of her costume unzip and was now wishing she had not worn Spike’s gift. She wanted to feel his skin against hers. His hands moved and caressed the bare skin of her stomach and made their way up to her breasts again. He made his way down the column of her neck, kissing and nipping, as he made his way down to the hollow of her breasts. He lingered there for a moment before he moved back up and began kissing behind her ear. Her brain was muddled with desire and she did not know where or who she was.

“Oh, Spike,” she whispered.

“Oh, Buffy,” he recounted.

The sound of their own names seemed to throw cold water over them both. They sprung away from each other as though burned, not able to look the other in the eye.

Oh, shit. It was going to be a long afternoon.

*****

As Spike looked over at Buffy, he could not help but laugh at the absurdity of their situation. The close up showed two young lovers snuggled in bed basking in the afterglow of a newly consummated relationship.

However, if you would pan out, the scene told a different story.

It was all a show, literally. The cameras positioned and ready to capture their intimate embraces, embraces that were not of their own making but recreations of a writer and director’s vision. The afterglow was nothing more than well-placed blush by a trained make up artist. They were not even lovers, not in the biblical sense. Sure, they had spent the last few hours in various passionate embraces but it was all smoke and mirrors. Nothing real had occurred.

Much like his life, it was a series of smoke and mirrors. He had worked so hard for years to construct his movie star image, he had lost track of where he finished, and the movie star began. He had never had a problem with it, reasoned that is was what he needed to do in order to have a career and he never saw it as a bad thing to do.

Until now.

Buffy had not done that. He had seen her true self from the beginning and had seen it today in the blush of her cheek as they started filming their love scene. She had been so wide-eyed and open about the whole thing, there was no sense of pretence about her. He knew it would not take long for that to be taken from her.

He did not want that, not for Buffy. She deserved to live. To live a life free from the hang-ups and insecurities that Hollywood gave. He wanted each day to hold wonders and joy for her. Moreover, he wanted to be the one to give it to her.

Had he already started to take that innocence from her, by their arrangement to lie and deceive in order to get ahead in this world? He did not want to take it. He wanted to preserve it and maybe in the process restore it in himself.
Chapter 16: What have you done? by wattie
“I want out,” Spike barked into the phone.

“Well, hello to you too Spike.” Xander replied.

Spike rolled his eyes as he took another drag of his cigarette, his no smoking campaign had lasted all of about 5 seconds after he and Buffy had finished their love scenes. It seemed that in the days following he had more than made up for the lost time.

“Hello,” he replied begrudgingly.

“I can’t get you out of the movie, Spike. You only have two more weeks of shooting to go.”

“Not the movie, Buffy.”

“You want out of Buffy? When did you get in her buddy?”

“Cut the crap Xander, you know what I meant; I can’t do this anymore.”

“She cramping your style, look I know you, Spike. You could charm the chastity belt off a fair maiden, surely you have...”

“Don’t finish that if you want to keep all your parts mate.”

He had been thinking about nothing else since the other day, he was sick of lying, being a fraud. In addition, not just his relationship with Buffy, it was his whole life. For the first time he had seen it for what it was. Sure agents and publicists called it creating buzz, an image, but the truth was he was living a lie. Like most lies, it was only a matter of time before they all fell apart.

“She is not cramping my style; I am just tired of the lies, the deception. She deserves better than that.”

“Who Buffy? It takes two to tango, Spike. Don’t forget that. She agreed to it too.”

“I guess,” Spike had left that bit out of the equation, she had agreed.

“Look, you can do what you want, but let me say this. You have not had so much press like this in a long time, and even better because its good press.”

“I thought there was no such thing as bad press?”

“Not when it came to you and Drusilla. Do you really want to go back to that?”

He did not. That was one of the reasons why he wanted to get out of the deal with Buffy. Not that he did not want to spend time with her, but because he wanted to spend real time with her. She had given him glimpses into a life he had never known possible.

“No, I don’t want to go back to that.”

“The movie is crap. We all know that, but the public can’t wait. They want to see the movie that made bad boy Spike fall in love. You can’t buy that kind of publicity.”

Spike knew Xander had a point and that is why he paid him ten percent. It was only two more weeks, three tops if there were reshoots, and then he could move on.

“Ok, I’ll stick with it,” Spike sighed

“That’s my boy, now you have that party tonight. Don’t let me down; you and Buffy need to be the talk of the night. Can you do that Spike?”

“Yes, I can do that,” Spike said as he hung up the phone.

Xander smiled to himself as he made another call, he could always make Spike see reason. Now he just had to make sure that nothing else would blow it.

“Giles, we need to talk.”

*****

“What did you do?” Giles demanded as Buffy answered the phone surprised. She was in the limo to pick up Spike for the party for, some charity of the month. Expecting to hear Spike on the other end telling her that he was running his usual ten minutes late.

“Something bad obviously if you are that angry.”

“Buffy, this is not a time to be smart with me. I just got off the phone to Xander and to say he is angry is an understatement.” Buffy swore she could hear Giles polishing his glasses over the phone.

“Why is Xander angry?”

“Spike called him this afternoon saying that he wants out of the arrangement. Can you please shed some light on why that would be?”

Buffy felt her stomach drop, Spike wanted out of the arrangement? Why, they had been getting along so well. She considered him a friend even, especially after how well he had treated her the other day.

“I have no idea why he would want to do that,” Buffy racked her brain for some kind of reason.

“Buffy, I have seen the two of you fight. You need to cut him some slack.”

“We haven’t been fighting, I swear. Although I am going to give him a big piece of my mind next time I see him.”

“Don’t Buffy, you need this. Both of us know how much. Your popularity has gone through the roof since you have been seeing him. I have lost count to the number of covers you have been on. Let alone the requests for interviews I have had.”

“This makes no sense to me Giles; I thought we were both on the same page with this. He has been more than nice to me in the last couple of weeks.”

“What do you mean by more than nice?” Giles questioned.

“What do you mean by it?” Buffy responded.

“Look, I wasn’t going to say anything but since you implied it. Xander seemed to think that Spike had certain… Needs that were not being met.”

“Needs? What do you mean...” The sledgehammer hit Buffy in the face. “Giles I am not a whore.”

“I know that Buffy, I am not asking you to sleep with him.”

“Then what are you asking?”

“Could you let him sleep with other people, we could arrange it. No one would know besides us. We keep Spike happy and then everyone is happy.”

She could not stop the tears from forming in her eyes. She had built Spike up to be this fantasy guy, sweet kind and considerate. Somewhere along the way she had forgotten that she was playing a role, they both were. Nothing was real, not even the feeling of disappointment in her heart.

“Is this what Spike wants?” she asked as she tried to find her voice, dreading the answer but at the same time needing to know.

“Xander didn’t say it in so many words but…” She knew Giles did not want to finish the sentence.

This was why she did not date. Open her heart to anyone, least of all a Hollywood star. She hated herself for compromising her values for the sake of a few more jobs and a few more dollars in the bank. However, she had made her bed and now she had to lie in it.

“It’s his life, Giles. He can do what he wants with it. He doesn’t owe me any favours.” She snapped the phone shut before she could hear his response. She did not need to hear all the sorry details. She knew enough.

She wiped her tears away as the limo approached Spike’s home. Telling herself that it did not matter what Spike did. They were nothing to each other. Actors playing roles, nothing more. She knew the more she said it and then one day she would believe it.
Chapter 17: Just be discreet by wattie
Chapter 17

“You look beautiful love,” Spike remarked as he hopped into the Limo. Instead of being met with Buffy’s usual 1000-watt smile, he was met with….

“You’re late.”

Something was definitely up.

“You of all people should know it takes many hours to perfect the “I just threw this together look.”

Instead of her usual chuckle there was, “I’m sure.”

It did not take Einstein to figure out she was pissed about something or as he looked at the expression on her face, someone. He tried the never fail Spike charm.

“You look stunning…”

“Giles rang me.”

So much for never fail, he did not know the reason but she was being all work today. Rather than make her more annoyed he decided to play along.

“What did the old boy have to say for himself then, did he finally score the Oprah interview?”

“Not quite, Xander called him. He seemed quite angry. Giles asked me what I had done to upset you so much.”

“Buffy, you haven’t done anything to upset me.”

“He said you want out of our arrangement,” Spike felt the colour drain out of his face. It seemed that bad news really did travel fast.

“Listen what…”

“Don’t. The second worst thing next to whoring around is trying to justify said whoring.”

“Buffy, please let me explain,” he could fix this. Bloody Xander, he would wring his neck for this.

“You don’t owe me an explanation Spike.” He could hear the contempt in her words, “We work together, and that’s all, on screen and off. All I ask is that you be discreet about it. The last thing I need at the moment is a scandal.”

“You have it all wrong, love.”

“So, you didn’t call Xander and tell him you want out.”

To lie or to tell the truth, he hesitated for the briefest of moments as he made the decision. However, it seemed as though in that time Buffy had already made it for him.

“Just be discreet, please” As she turned from him and went to look out the window, he caught the hurt in her eyes.

“Buffy listen to me, when I called Xander.”

Buffy grabbed her purse as the Limo slowed to a stop.

“Two more weeks Spike, we just have to be a loving couple for two more weeks,” she took his hand in hers as the driver opened the door.

“Then the job is over,” he saw her slip into character, a loving girlfriend. “On screen and off,” she put on her 1000-watt smile to the awaiting paparazzi as she stepped onto the red carpet dragging Spike behind her.

They stood together for a moment letting them take the pictures for tomorrow’s magazines. Buffy pulled him close and whispered in his ear.

“Then we never have to see or speak to each other again.”

~~~~~

Buffy needed a drink. Truth be told, she needed several. At this point in time, she would have been more at home in the bottom of a tequila bottle than at this party. She had given Spike the slip to powder her nose; however, it was really to find some hard liquor.

She usually craved his presence at this kind of party. He protected her from what he liked to call the seedy under belly of the industry. Yeah right, pot calling the kettle black. She could not figure out why she was so disappointed in him. At the beginning of their charade, she was under no illusions of whom and what Spike was. However, slowly without her even realising it, he had fooled her into thinking he actually cared about her. That he was more than his badass image. That he was someone she could fall in love with.

As she found the bar and ordered her double shot of tequila, she thought back to the last time she thought she had found someone she could love. Tears welled in her eyes as she remembered how well that had paned out.

The warmth of the alcohol made its way through her body, it seemed to calm her nerves and gave her the clarity that only hard liquor could. She did not need Spike. Hell, she did not need anyone; she had gone this long without someone to love.

As she downed her second double tequila, she had another brainwave. If Spike could throw it around without a care in the world then so could she. He was not the only one who could be a male chauvinist pig, she could too, expect without the whole being male thing.

She turned around from the bar, hoping to find some unsuspecting male to take home instead she came face to face with, “Spike,” she turned back around. “Another of the same please?”

“I don’t think so, make it a soda water.”

“Hey,” she pouted. “You’re not the boss of me mister. Make it a triple.”

“Since when did you turn into Oliver Reed?”

“Who?”

“Listen, I know for a fact you can’t hold your drink, so unless you want to be in the headlines for all the ‘Paris Hilton’ reasons, I suggest you take it easy.”

Buffy laughed. “As if I am going to take healthy living advice from you of all people. A guy you thinks a balanced meal is having cigarettes as well as alcohol.” She stumbled as he pulled her away from the bar.

“What’s gotten into you love,” she could see a look of concern on his face, he was a good actor and she was not falling for it again.

“Listen, leave me alone, you’re cramping my style,” she broke free of his grasp and straightened up her dress.

“What do you mean?”

“You’re not the only one who can whore around Spike,” she went to leave him.

“Don’t,” he stopped her. “You can’t do that not here. As far as everyone is concerned here, we are the new it couple.”

“Well, maybe it’s time for the truth.”

“I don’t think so love,” he pulled her to him and before she had time to process what was going on, he was kissing her, marking her as his own. In the back of her mind, she knew she should be angry about it. Nevertheless, her head was too busy spinning to feel anything but desire.

“Elizabeth?” her real name brought her back to the party. She broke from Spike’s embrace, only to come face to face with her greatest fear.

“Parker Abrahams,” he held his hand out for Spike to shake. Buffy’s brain went into overload. She did the only thing she could.

She ran.

Spike did not know what just happened. It was as if the world had slowed down and sped up at the same time. One minute he was kissing Buffy, the next she had ran off and all that remained was this Parker fellow.

“Spike,” he shook the guy's hand.

“Such a firecracker isn’t she,” he assumed Parker meant Buffy.

“How does it feel to know that I got there first?”

At that, Spike punched the smug look right off his face and went to find Buffy.
Chapter 18: Who is the man shouting at you? by wattie
Spike was frantic; he had checked all of the party including a rather embarrassing incident in the women’s restroom to find Buffy. However, she was nowhere to be found. He had not looked back to see if that Parker ponce was ok. He was the least of his concerns and what kind of thug would he be if he cared about the wanker he had just tried to punch out.

Buffy, Buffy was his main concern, not only the fact that she was drunk but that she had been spooked and had run off. He had been calling her cell constantly for the last twenty minutes with no answer.

“Xander,” he barked into the phone.

“What now?” replied a slightly sleepy Xander.

“I need Buffy’s address.”

“Giles won’t give it to me. He always insists that the limo pick Buffy up first and he always organises it himself.”

“I didn’t call to get excuse’s Xander. I called to get her address,” he was starting to get really pissed off now.

“Well maybe I can...” Spike was only half listening to Xander when a bolt of inspiration hit him out of the blue.

“Never mind, I got it sorted,” he snapped the phone shut.

He had remembered that Buffy’s friend Faith had called him the night Buffy had gotten drunk, he checked back through his phone log and found the number.

“Hello.”

“Faith, this is Spike, Buffy’s boyfriend.”

“Hey bleach boy how’s it going?”

“Look I have lost Buffy and I need to find her ASAP?” he sounded desperate but he was beyond caring at this point, all he wanted to do was find Buffy.

“Spike, from what I can tell you are a smart guy. How do you lose a whole person?”

“Look we had a fight and then I got into a fist fight and by the time I had turned around she had left,” he was getting frustrated.

“Why should I help you if you are fighting with her? Maybe you can’t find her because she doesn’t want to be found.”

“I understand that but she’s drunk and she seemed really spooked when we ran into this wanker Parker.”

“Hang on. You ran into Parker Abrams?” he could hear the concern in her voice.

“You know the guy?”

“Unfortunately yes and so does Buffy. Look she probably went home. You can find her there.”

“I thought as much, but I don’t have her address. Can you give it to me please?”

The phone was silent for a few moments. Spike was just about to check if Faith was still there.

“Before I give it to you, you have to promise not to judge Buffy, ever no matter what you see or hear,” her tone was serious.

“Look, I would never judge Buffy; she is one of the most special people I have ever met.” In his heart knew the words but his head would not allow him to say them, “I admire her more than you will ever know.”

“You better, because if you let me down on this Spike, I am going to come over there and kick your ass myself.”

“Permission granted. Now can I just have the address…’’

As Spike made his way over to Buffy’s house, he kept going over Faith’s conversation. What was he going to find at Buffy’s house that was so bad. Maybe she lived in the bad part of town. However looking at the address that Faith had given him, he knew that was not true. Maybe she lived in the worst house on the street. As he turned into her street, he knew he would soon find out.

********

Buffy started to regret the amount of alcohol she had drunk tonight about two seconds after running into Parker. However, now that she was at home brushing her teeth after the fifth vomit, regret had turned into full-blown remorse.

She looked at her reflection in the mirror. She was a mess. The crying had started as soon as she got into the limo and had not stopped since. She had so many emotions spinning around her head that it had literally felt as if she was spinning.

At the party, it seemed as though Spike was the biggest problem she had to deal with, but as soon as Parker appeared all other problems had paled in significance. She had kept her head down for this very reason. She knew that one day she would have to run into him. He had tried to contact her through Giles but had been unsuccessful. This was one of the reasons why she did not go out, kept to herself. So what if she was labelled a recluse and got less jobs. Having her life exposed to Parker, let alone the world, was nowhere near as important as keeping her life a secret.

She made her way towards the bedroom for some much-needed sleep, when she heard the doorbell ring. Had Parker followed her? She reached for her phone to call Giles for advice when she heard who was at the door.

“Buffy, it’s Spike. Look I know you’re in there. Please answer the door,” he continued knocking loudly on the door. She knew if she did not at least open the door, he would wake the whole house and that would be disastrous.

As she opened the door and she was swept up into his arms.

“Thanks goodness you are ok,” she disentangled herself from him and was greeted by the sight of one very stressed Spike.

“What the hell did you think you were doing by running off like that?” So much for the small talk.

“I had to get out of there. I’m sorry to have bothered you.”

“Bothered me? You did a hell of a lot more than bothered me love. I have been worried sick. I have been trying to call for the last hour. Anything could have happened to you.”

“Well, I am fine now so you can go home,” Buffy started to shut the door but Spike was too quick as he placed his body in the door jar.

“I don’t think so, Buffy. You need to explain to me what the hell happened back there with that wanker Parker.” Fear gripped her at just the sound of his name.

“What did he say to you?”

“Well, not much. It is kinda hard to speak when my fist is shoved down his larynx,” she smiled slightly.

“You hit him? Is he ok?” Not that she cared that he was ok. She just did not need the hassle of him pressing assault charges against Spike.

“Didn’t stay to look pet, was too worried about you. What’s going on here Buffy, you look as white as a sheet,” he went to touch her but she pulled away.

“And he said nothing at all too you?” She needed to know just how much information she had to tell him to explain.

“He did imply that you two had been intimate,” Spike searched her face for any confirmation of his claim.

“Oh, he did,” Buffy searched her brain to try to begin to explain what had happened between to two of them. Her thoughts were broken when she felt a slight tug on her dressing gown.

“Mommy, who is the man shouting at you?”

As she looked down at Cody, her five-year-old son. She knew the time for secrets was over.
Chapter 19: The beginning by wattie
“Mommy.”

Spike’s head was spinning. It was as though he had entered an alternative universe, a universe in which Buffy was a …

“Mommy.”

Sure, on the way over to her house he had gone through what he had thought were all the possible reasons that Buffy did not want him to see where she lived. He figured it had to do with the state of her house or lack there of. Never in his wildest dreams did he ever think that Buffy would have been a …

“Mommy,” Cody seemed to be getting more and more inpatient. “Why is that man standing with his mouth wide open? Is he trying to catch flies?” Spike could not help but laugh at that.

“No Cody, he is not trying to catch flies.” Spike could tell that Buffy was beyond distressed. He could only imagine the thoughts running through her mind. He wanted to at least let her know that she did not need to be worried about his reaction. He crouched down to Cody’s level.

“I just called in to say hi to your mommy. Sorry to have woken you up.” He stretched out his hand for Cody to shake. “My name’s Spike, I am a friend of your mom’s.”

“My name is Cody,” he took Spikes hand and shook it. “You talk funny like uncle Giles.”

“Talk funny do I?” he said in an overly exaggerated cockney accent, which made Cody laugh aloud. Cody shared his mother infectious laughter.

“Do you want to come inside and play with my cars?” Before he could answer, Spike was cut off by Buffy.

“Cody, it’s late and you shouldn’t be out of bed, let alone awake at this hour.”

“But mom…” Cody whined.

“But mom, nothing mister. It’s time for bed,” the look of disappointment on Cody’s face was priceless. He could see Buffy weakening.

“Maybe I can come around another time when it’s not so late,” he reasoned.

“Promise?” it looked as thought he had also inherited his mother's pout and he was powerless.

“I promise. Now, you had better get to bed before your mom gets cross at both of us,” he saw Buffy’s face as they made their way inside.

Spike sat on the large brown leather lounge in the living room while Buffy helped Cody back to bed. His head was still trying to wrap itself around all the events of tonight. All he had wanted to do in coming here tonight was to see if she was ok and to try to explain the misunderstanding of him wanting to sleep with other women. Somehow, he reasoned that those thoughts have completely left her mind. Buffy was a mom and had been hiding it for some time. He had always suspected she was hiding something. He had suspected it was a soft porn career that so many starlets in this town had hidden somewhere. Not this, it did however explain her deep fear of having her life exposed into the public eye. Her panic at the mention of her personal life was now not paranoia as he had first thought but more an act of survival. She must have lived in constant fear of having Cody exposed as some shameful indiscretion. Nevertheless, why? Sure, it did not help your queen teen image to have a baby so young. However, once she had established her career she could have told her story. What reason did she have to keep hiding?

“How much?” Buffy asked as she came into the room. He could tell by the look on her face that she was all business. It reminded him of their first meeting in Xander’s office.

“How much what?” he did not have a clue to what she was on about.

“To keep you quiet about Cody. How much?” she could not look him in the eye. The absolute desperation shown on her face caused his heart to ache.

“Have you lost your mind love? I would never take money from you.”

A long pause drew between them, as Buffy seemed to search her mind for something to say.

“You could, I mean, sex. Do you want to sleep with me to keep quiet?” he could see apart of her die inside at the mere mention of the words. All he wanted to do was take her in his arms and never let her go. However, he refrained, as he knew she would take it as a sign that he did want to sleep with her. Therefore, he went with the next best thing.

“I am not even going to warrant that with a response. Do you really think so little of me?”

“No,” Buffy sighed as she sat down on opposite him. “Maybe, I don’t know. It’s just that I live in fear of this happening for so long. I just don’t know how I should act, think or feel.”

“How about you start at the beginning and we take the rest as it comes.”

‘The beginning,’ Buffy thought to herself. She had lived this lie for so long that she had lost track of the beginning. She wanted to tell him, have this burden of the truth lifted from her. To be able to trust him, but she had built up these wall for so long it was easier said than done.

“Before I start I need to know,” she bit her lip she wanted to trust him.

“I won’t tell a sole love. No payment required. How old is he?”

“Five,” she could see the wheels turning in his brain as he worked out how old she was when she was pregnant. She made it easier for him.

“I was sixteen when became pregnant.”

“Oh,” she winced at the sound of shock and disappointment in his voice.

“It’s not what you think. I wasn’t one of those high school girls whose only dream was to have a baby at sixteen so they could have someone to love them,” she hated having to defend her choices, as well as Cody’s existence.

“I didn’t think you were. Buffy, I don’t judge you for what you did.”

“I was naïve; I guess that was my only mistake. When I was sixteen I won a beauty pageant back home and one of the prizes was a trip to LA to meet with talent agents,” she closed her eyes as the memories of that time came flooding back.

“That’s where I met Giles. He sent me on some casting and at one,” she paused as she tried to find the words to explain what happened next.

“I wasn’t one of those girls who wanted to sleep their way to the top. It was just that the casting director, he took an interest in me. The casting went well. He said I was a shoe in for the role. He wanted to take me out for dinner to celebrate. He made me feel special, you know. No man had made me feel so wanted or as it turned out so used as well.”

Spike’s heart went out to her. All this time he had admired her strength and innocence. It was the fact that she had remained so unaffected by this business. The fact of the matter was that she had been so damaged by it that she had built up walls to protect herself from it.

“I didn’t realise that I was pregnant until four weeks after I got home. I tried to call him, tell him what was going on,” her tears started to flow. Spike could not fight the urge any longer. He stood and sat beside her, slipping his arm around her trying to comfort her.

“He never spoke to me again; the best I got was his personal assistant telling me that I didn’t get the role.”

“Bastard.”

“I hadn’t heard from him since. Until tonight. Cody’s father is Parker Abrams.”
Chapter one: Not now, not ever by wattie
Chapter 20

Spike awoke slowly adjusting to unfamiliar surroundings. As he woke, he realised two things, he had fallen asleep on the couch and someone was trying to open his eyes.

“You snore.”

That’s right; last night had not been a weird dream. Buffy was a mom and her son Cody was currently holding his eyelids hostage.

“And I can’t hear Sponge Bob properly,” Cody sat up on the couch giving Spike no other option but to wake up.

“Sorry to interrupt,” He grumbled as he rubbed his eyes as a way to keep them open.

“Did you have a sleep over party with mom?” Cody asked as if it was the most natural question in the world.

Now he was awake. What was he supposed to do? He did not know too much about kids, but what he did know was that they had a finely tuned bullshit detector and if Cody was anything like his mom his was more tuned than most.

“No Cody we didn’t have a sleep over party, you didn’t miss out on any fun. Just fell asleep is all.”

“Are you my mom’s friend?” Spike could see Cody trying to fit the pieces of his and Buffy’s relationship together. Good luck with that kid. Here he was a grown man and he was still trying to figure out which way was up.

“You’re mom and I work together and I guess we are friends too.” That was true they did work together and as far as he was aware they were still friends. Last night had been a break through of sorts. She had let him in on a secret that no one else knew that had to count for something. Maybe he had a chance of a relationship with her.

“I get it. That’s why your hair is a funny colour! You play dress up with mommy,” Cody giggled as he reached up to touch Spike’s hair.

“Dress up?”

“That’s what mommy does for a job. She goes away and plays dress up. Just like me and Aunty Dawn. Do you get to be Buzz Lightyear?”

Spike laughed as he thought about his latest role. Buzz Lightyear was not too far from the truth.

“Not quite Buzz, but I do play a space captain.”

“Really,” Cody’s eyes had grown to the size of saucers.

“Really, maybe one day you can come down to the set and take a look at the ship.”

“I don’t think so.”

He turned to see Buffy in the doorway. To say she did not look happy was an understatement. She had her game face on; he could tell that much. They had talked a bit longer about Parker, Cody and the lie she had been living for the past five years.

After the initial hesitation, Spike could tell she was glad to finally get it all off her chest. Nevertheless, there was always a false sense of everything was going to be ok when secrets are shared by moonlight. Somehow, in the harsh light of day things did not seem so easy to work out.

“Cody, have you eaten your breakfast?” Buffy asked as she made her way to the kitchen. “I told you no TV until breakfast was done and didn’t I tell you would have to be quiet otherwise you would wake up Spike?” She stopped as she found the two boys sitting on the couch making themselves at home.

“Morning Buffy, ready to play dress up?” Spike asked as Cody laughed.

“I like you’re new friend mommy. He’s funny.”

Buffy rolled her eyes as she made her way into the kitchen. “Sure, he is a laugh riot. Cody can you go wake up Dawn? We have to leave for work soon.”

“Yes mommy.”

Buffy turned to Spike and the smirk that she would have given anything to wipe from his face.

“Look, one day he saw me in a magazine by accident. I had to tell him something,” she busied herself by making coffee.

“I don’t know much about kids, but doesn’t the truth usually cover it?”

Buffy slammed the coffee pot down on the bench. “Don’t you dare try to tell me how to raise my child,” she was fuming.

“I am just trying to help,” he pleaded.

“I don’t need your help Spike and FYI, if I ever need child rearing advice I would call Michael Jackson before calling you.”

“Buffy, all I am trying to say is that Cody is smart. One day he is going to work it all out.”

“You walk into my life uninvited, I might add and you think that gives you permission to judge me? You have no idea what its like to live my life. I hate the fact that I have to lie to Cody about who I am and who he is. However, I didn’t want him labelled as a bastard child of some starlet. He deserves better than that.”

This was exactly the reason why she had kept herself and her family safe for the last five years. Why did she think telling Spike would make things better? Just because she wanted him to be her knight in shining armour did not make him one. She did not work her fingers to the bone only to have her whole existence questioned by someone who had no idea what it was like to raise a child.

“Buffy, I never judged you. All I am asking is that shouldn’t you be more honest with Cody.”

“Of course I want to tell Cody the truth but I also want to be able to provide a life for him that I never had. The only way I can do that is to protect him.” The tears flowed no matter how many she had shed over her decision to keep Cody from the public eye. There always seemed to be more to be shed. She had started this foray into the public eye and she could not stop it.

“Listen Spike, I think it would be best for all of us, Cody included, if we ended this deal right now.” This was the right thing to do and she knew it. Spike would not care; it was all business to him anyway. In addition, he had already told everyone but her that he was ready to whore around again.

“Buffy, I don’t want this deal to end” She could hear the emotion clogging his voice. She didn’t want to hear it. She wanted to hear a cold business like tone not one filled with emotions she didn’t want named.

“Well I have news for you Spike And its all bad we only have two more weeks of shooting. After that this is over.”

“Don’t say that Buffy. I don’t want this to be a deal. I don’t want to finish this not now, not in two weeks, not ever.”

His stare was hypnotic all the reasons why not were swirling through her brain but she did not voice them. By the time she had found her voice she could not speak.

Spike was kissing her.
When Stars Collide Chapter 21 - it’s not that easy by wattie
Author's Notes:
Dont die of shock but a chapter from little old me.
Hope everyone is still with this one..
He hadn’t meant to kiss her. In fact, it was the last thing on his mind. All he had wanted to do was make her calm down and listen to him. As the kiss intensified he knew for sure. Something that scared him so much he had never voiced it not even to himself.

He loved her.

He was in love with Buffy Summers. It had crept in slowly but surely, like the pieces of a jigsaw puzzle all spread out on the table. It made no sense, but as the pieces started to come together it became clear.

He loved her.

As quickly as the kissing had started it was finished, leaving Spike feeling as though he had been hit by a truck or cupids arrow, both causing equal damage.

“Get out.”


Not quite the usual reaction that his kisses brought, but he didn’t think she would give in without a fight.

“Buffy listen, I didn’t mean to kiss you like that.”

“Well, gee, thanks, I think.”

“What I mean is when I kissed you, I wanted it to be more about showing you how much I care and not so much about trying to get you to shut up.” He looked at her across the kitchen trying to get as much space between him as she could. Her hair was messed and her skin flushed with desire, but her eyes were full of fear.

He understood the fear, the fear of being hurt again giving yourself to another with no guarantee of success. It was that fear that had led him into this arrangement. He had wanted the safety of a business arrangement with no feelings involved. However, his feelings were involved the minute he had laid eyes on her.

What he had feared, he had created. And he was not going to give up without a fight.

“Buffy, listen to me, what Parker did all those years ago was inexcusable. But what he is doing to you and Cody now is far worse.”

“Parker has nothing to do with this; I don’t want you or need you in my life.” He knew she was making excuses and refused to be deterred by them.

“He took a lot of things from you then and he is still taking them from you today. Why do you give him this power over you? He has done nothing to deserve it.”

“So you want the power over me then?”

“It would be easy to think that, easier to say no to someone who wants to control you and have that power, rather that than saying no to me.”

“And the difference is?” Buffy asked as she tried to fight the emotions his words were flaring within her.

“I want to love you. Plain and simple. You and Cody.” She was taken aback by the honestly in his words, though she did not doubt them at all.

“It’s not that simple with Cody when people find out. It’s going to be bad. I don’t want that for him.”

He made his way across to her. His face mere inches from her own. She wanted to pull away, but couldn’t. The intensity of his stare was paralysing.

“Let me help you. The media thing, you can handle it. I will show you how. You are a loving mother who did what you thought was the best thing to protect your child. No one can fault you for that Buffy.”

“How do you do that? Make complicated things seems so simple?”

“Here’s the thing see, it is actually that simple. You just want to complicate it. Because the more complicated this is, the more reasons to stay safe. More reasons to hide and not to live.”

He reached up and took a strand of hair in his fingers and tucked it behind her ear. It took awhile but she finally found her words. “And living is being with you?” She knew the answer. She had felt more alive in the past few weeks pretending to be with him than she had in the past few years. The thought of actually being in a relationship with him scared her more than she was willing to admit, and not just for Cody’s sake, but for her own as well.

“What if I don’t want to be with you?” she asked hoping her voice did not sound to him as feeble and it did to her.

“You don’t?” he smirked. She hated how he did that, knocking all the anger from her and replacing it with desire.

“Like your God’s gift,” she knew her words did not match her emotions, but she struggled nonetheless.

“Hardly, but I think you are forgetting one thing,” he moved towards her his lips brushing against her own.

“What?”

“That day we were filming. I knew you felt something that day. I know you did,” he moved back trying to read the emotion in her eyes.

“No, you are wrong, I didn’t feel a thing.” And by not feeling a thing, she meant she had felt everything.

“Really. If I am wrong, then why did you say my name?” he moved in and kissed her before she had a chance to answer.

He continued to kiss her as he grabbed her thighs and lifted her up onto the bench. He continued to kiss her as he wound his hands through her hair down her neck.

“Buffy,” he breathed as he pulled back. “Buffy, Buffy, Buffy,” she went to speak but he cut her off before she had a chance.

“Don’t think Buffy; for once don’t think, just feel.”

All the reasons ‘why not’ still remained, she knew that. However, she had spent so many years doing what she had to and shutting off the part of her that wanted.

And she wanted.

Wanted him.

“Spike,” she took his face into her hands. She ran her finger over his lips their softness surprising her.

“I want this,” she kissed him back in a way she didn’t know she could. He moaned into her mouth and she shivered with desire. She ran her hands down his back and undid his shirt from the back of his pants. Her hands made there way to the front and started for the buckle of his belt.

“Buffy, wait.” Spikes hands fell upon hers. “We can’t, not here.” He pulled away from her, putting some distance between the two of them.

“Mommy, can I have some more juice?”

With Cody’s words, she felt the cold shower of reality wash over her.

“Your mom is a bit busy at the moment, how about I get it for you mate?” Spike took Cody’s cup and went to the refrigerator. “Let’s see here, you have a choice between orange and orange.” Cody laughed.

“You are funny Spike; can I have a biscuit too?” Buffy knew what Cody was doing testing Spike to see if he had a soft touch. Buffy was interested to see if he passed.

“Well considering you just had breakfast, I am going to go with no. Why don’t you go and see what Sponge Bob is up too while I finish up with your mom?” Spike waited until Cody had left the room.

“See Buffy, it’s that simple. Cody is a good kid, anyone could see that. If you let them.”

“I know but it’s not that easy.”

“Buffy, yes it is. Stop making excuses and make a decision. Are you going to live the truth or continue the lie?”
Chapter 22 I don’t hide by wattie
Author's Notes:
Wow, I just wanted to say a huge THANK YOU to everyone who reviewed. I know its been awhile but the chapters will be a bit more regular from now one.
Thanks for sticking with me :)
Enjoy
“You’re an idiot.”

Dawn’s voice broke Buffy from her thoughts. She had been staring at the carton of juice on the kitchen bench top. Spike had given Cody his juice, and her some space, as he went to play with Cody. She had been pondering whether to ring Giles to call a press conference to talk about Cody. For some reason, she couldn’t dial the numbers. Buffy turned and saw Dawn standing in her kitchen doorway.

“Thanks Dawn.”

“He’s a great guy,” Dawn replied as if to state the obvious.

Buffy rolled her eyes. “Dawn, you have had a crush on him for years of course you think he is a great guy.” Dawn had made no secret of the fact she had a major crush on Spike for years. It had taken everything to keep her away from the set everyday.

“No, that’s the movie star. I am talking about the man, the real man sitting in the den playing snap with Cody.”

She knew Dawn was right; he was a man, not the movie star, not the man she had first met. Why had he changed, how had they gone from business partners to something else she didn’t know how to define.

“Don’t Dawn. I don’t want to hear it, I have already had the ear bashing from Spike.” She busied herself by unpacking the dishwasher for some reason unable to look Dawn in the eye.

“He has a point, its simple.”

“Were you listening to us?” Buffy stopped in her tracks. This was just great. How was she going to cope with the whole world knowing her business if she couldn’t even handle her sister eavesdropping?

“Hey, I was respectful. I stopped listening once the kissing started.” Dawn reached into the cupboard and grabbed the Captain Crunch.

“Gee thanks.”

“Its not that big a deal, just call a press conference,” Dawn stated as if it were the easiest thing in the world.

“Not a big deal. Dawn, I lied about Cody. I have a five year old son that I had when I was sixteen. A son that I haven’t told anyone about. A son who is going to think that I don’t love him because all I wanted to do was protect him.” Her tears fell freely.

“It’s ok Buffy,” Dawn hugged her tight.

“A son that will be splashed over every magazine cover from here to breakfast.”

“He will understand.”

“He’s five Dawn, how is he going to understand? How is he going to forgive me?”

“What’s to forgive Buffy? Really you protected him, loved him did the best you could everyday. Now its time to do your best again and you know this is for the best.”

“What if it gets bad? The press will have a field day.” Buffy’s mind swam with all the worst case scenarios.

“Yeah they will until the next thing comes along. Look at Hugh Grant.”

“What?

“Hugh Grant. He got caught with that prostitute in a back alley somewhere, and it was bad for a few days but he stood up and took the flack and now look at him. Number one movie in the country last week.”

“Are you saying I should do this to further my career?”

“No, you know I’m not. Do this for you and Cody. Its time, you know it is.”

*****

“If I do this it doesn’t mean anything,” Buffy stated as she walked into the den.

Spike looked up at Buffy. She looked as though she had been crying. He hadn’t meant to upset her, he was trying to help.

“What do you mean? Of course it means something,” Spike stood up and ushered Buffy out off Cody’s earshot.

“It will mean you don’t have to hide anymore Buffy, you can finally tell the truth.”

“I meant between you and me. It doesn’t mean anything will happen between you and me.” She had been so sure of this speech in the kitchen, but now looking into his blue eyes she was starting to rethink her stance.

“Do you think that’s what I want, why I would get you to do this?”

“Well, yeah.”

“Buffy what kind of guy do you think I am? I would never use your personal life for my gain,” he didn’t bother to hide the hurt in his voice.

“That’s exactly what I think what else do I have to go off Spike? We met because you wanted to use our personal life, or lack thereof, for your gain. Here is what I know: You’re a drunk when you are not working, you have a failed relationship that before we started our arrangement, you were so hung up on you had begun to stalk Drusilla. And that’s what I have just gathered from knowing you. I am not even including what I have read in the papers.”

“You are so off base. I could have left last night and called the press and blown your little lie wide apart but I didn’t, I stayed. I wanted to help you, I still do. Do you have any idea why I want to help you?” He held her shoulders making sure she could look him in the eye and see the truth of his words.

“Because there is something in it for you?” Her words were soft he knew she wanted to believe them, but was finding it hard to.

“No Buffy, not because there is something in it for me. But because I love you and I want what’s best for you. I want you to live the life you and Cody deserve, not hiding. Living. You have such a light and passion within you. You show it freely within your work and I couldn’t figure out where it all came from, but I figured it out. You channel all the life and passion into your work because you hide from it in your life.”

‘I don’t hide.”

“Yes, you do. You’re scared, I get that, but you think that you are the only one in the world who is scared to live. Newsflash Buffy, we are all scared, scared to love to live, but we take a chance because as scary as it is to live and love, you know what it’s a nightmare to be alone, shut away. That’s what you are living and you might think that it’s ok for you to live that way, but it’s sure as hell not for Cody.”

“Don’t bring him into this.”

“I didn’t Buffy, you did. You did this to him, to you, even Dawn. Its time to stop it.” Spike took a deep breath and laid it all on the line. “I know what it’s like to hide yourself from the outside world to project and image. At first you justify it by saying you need to keep things private and that’s a good thing to do, but it gets harder to do.”

“I have done a pretty good job so far,” Buffy responded defiantly.

“You have love, but you know it’s only a matter of time before they find out. Once this movie comes out your profile will go through the roof. Everyone will want to know the who, what, where, and why’s of Buffy Summers. And if you don’t give them the answers they want, then they will look for them on their own.”

Buffy thought about it. She didn’t want to be hounded by the paparazzi, that was the last thing she needed for her and Cody.

“If you let them in a little, then you keep the control both over what they know and how much they know. Give them a little, and that will keep them satisfied, give them nothing, and they will hunt you down for it all.”

“You make the press sound like a monster.”

Spike chuckled at the thought. “I guess I do. I can help you play the game, but at the same time, protect you.”

“From the monster,” Buffy smiled.

Spike moved closer to her taking in her beauty, still beautiful as fear and doubt coursed through her. He wanted to take it away make the world safe for her. His hand cupped her cheek and she calmed under his touch.

“I can slay the monster pet. Make the world safe for you,” he leaned in slowly waiting for her to pull away surprised as their lips touched for the briefest of moments.

“Ok.”

He searched her eyes for fear but couldn’t find any.

“You can slay the monster Spike, but we do it together.”
Chapter 23: Mommy do you love Spike?” by wattie
Chapter 25

“You told Spike what?”

Buffy closed her eyes as she waited for the barrage of ‘what were you thinking’s’, that were about to come from Giles. She had arranged to see Giles at his office as soon as possible, giving herself no time to back out of telling the press about Cody.

“Well, I didn’t actually tell him anything. He sort of found out.” Buffy shifted nervously, not wanting to admit that she had made a mistake in letting him follow her home.

“How did he find out? We have all worked so hard to protect Cody from this.”

“The party. Parker was at the party.” She watched Giles’ face pale at his name.

“He didn’t?”

“No, he didn’t find out, but he came up to me. Spike saw, and well, you know what a slime Parker is; he insinuated some things and Spike joined the dots. He did punch Parker. Hard. In fact I think he broke his nose. That’s gotta give him some brownie points.” Buffy took some small comfort in the fact that Parker had come off second best from their encounter.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Giles asked after Buffy had finished explaining her plan to tell the press about her son.

“Am I sure? No. Do I want to do this? No.” Buffy replied as she folded her arms across her chest, trying to muster some strength and resolve.

“Then why?” Giles could see how this was tearing her apart. Over the years she had become much more than just a client to him. He had nurtured her career from the beginning, and as much as he had tried to protect her, in the back of his mind he knew this day would come.

“I need to do this, not for me, but for Cody. I don’t want him to grow up thinking he is some dirty little secret. If I keep going this way, that’s what will happen,” she sighed as she sat back into Giles’s leather couch. Why did these things look so comfortable yet be so uncomfortable? She looked up at the ceiling trying to unravel her jumbled thoughts and feelings.

“Spike says that I should…”

“Spike? You are taking PR lessons from Spike? Do you think that’s wise?” he asked as he took off his glasses to clean them.

“Well, he does know about more about this stuff than I do.”

“Yes, he does. The only reason he knows so much about the press is because he is in it every second and not in a good way. Do you remember that first day we met with him? He was a train wreck.”

“He has changed Giles. Since we have been dating he hasn’t been drunk once, he still smokes, sure, but on the whole he has been well behaved. I trust him.”

“Why do you trust Spike?”

“Because I have to. I don’t have a choice. That’s what secrets do Giles. They take away your right to choose. I have to trust Spike because he knows about Cody. He knows my secret and like it or not, we have to trust him.”

Giles put back on the glasses, he knew Buffy was right as much as he hated to admit it. They had no choice but to trust Spike, and tell the truth about Buffy’s life.

“Alright, leave it to me. I will figure out the best plan of attack.”

****

“Mommy do you love Spike?”

Buffy spat her Mac and Cheese over the kitchen table. The meeting with Giles had been draining, hell; the whole weekend had been draining. What she needed was comforting, and nothing comforted better that cheesy carbs.

Spike had left after their conversation, giving her some time and space to sort things out. She knew she had to sort out more than just telling the world about Cody. She also had to sort out where Spike fitted into her life and her heart.

She was attracted to him, no question. But the last time she had been attracted to someone it had ended badly and for all the growing up she had done in becoming a teenage mom, she had next to no experience in dating someone, let alone a very famous someone. Sure, she and Spike had been ‘dating’ for weeks. But it wasn’t real, she was playing a role. She could still protect her heart that way, but to be real, to feel -- that was something she was not prepared for.

“Why would you ask me that question?” Buffy panicked as she went to the sink to grab a cloth to wipe up the mess she had made.

“Well, Spike is your friend, and Barney says that we should love our friends.

She sat back down, began wiping the table clean, and she couldn’t help but laugh. Of course a purple dinosaur was the best person to be able to define her and Spike’s relationship. She sure as hell couldn’t.

“So, what you are asking is, is Spike my friend?” Yes, Buffy was much more comfortable with this line of questioning.

“Yes. Is he your friend?”

“Yes he is my friend.”

‘Do you like playing dress up with him?”

“Sometimes. Other times he drives me crazy.”

“Like I drive you crazy?” Cody asked.

“No, he really drives me crazy. You could never drive me crazy.” She reached over and ruffled his hair.

“Can Spike be my friend too?” Buffy could see the longing in his eyes. He hardly had any friends his own age, in fact any friend’s period. She couldn’t trust anyone to keep quiet. What normal five-year-old had no friends?

“You don’t have many friends do you?” Buffy asked not wanting to hear the answer.

“I have you and Dawn, and I have a best friend too,” Cody replied between mouthfuls of pasta.

“Barney?” Buffy guessed, not knowing who else Cody would choose.

“No mom, Barney isn’t real. Spike. Spike is my best friend. He makes me laugh and he reads me stories and he is real.”

“I guess he is real,” Buffy replied not really wanting to hear the truth in her words. Now eat up your dinner it’s almost bed time.”

“I will mommy, but one more thing. Can Spike sleep over?”

And with that, Buffy spat her pasta out all over again.
Chapter 24: no payment is required. by wattie
Chapter 24

“I was wondering how long it would take,” Giles asked, not looking up from his computer screen. Spike had made his way across to Giles’ office first thing the next morning.

“I’m surprised you hadn’t called me already. Buffy been by?” Spike asked as he pulled up a chair in front of the desk.

“Yes.”

He could tell that Giles was not happy about his knowing about Cody. “And I am guessing it wasn’t a pleasant catch up. Did she tell you everything?” Spike asked.

“I think so. How do you think she is coping?” Giles asked, his concern written all over his face.

“Her worst nightmare came true, Giles. How do you think she is coping?” Spike raised his eyebrow in surprise at Giles asking such an obvious question.

“Right.”

“And from the look on your face, the bags under your eyes, and the fact you haven’t stopped polishing your glasses from the moment I walked in, I am suspecting your worst nightmare came true too.” The look on Giles face was all the confirmation he needed and he watched him struggle to find the right words.

“Look, I have money. We could pay you if you could just forget…” Unfortunately, he failed miserably as Spike felt the anger rise.

“Finish that sentence Rupes, and every media outlet in the country will know about Cody before I leave this office. Is that what you really think of me? That you have to pay me for my silence?” Spike felt truly hurt. Sure on the surface he was all show and swagger, but that didn’t mean he was heartless. He would no sooner hurt himself than hurt Buffy.

“No, not really. I don’t know what to think at the moment. I have feared this day for so long, I’m just not quite sure what to do.” Giles sighed as he finally stopped polishing the glasses and popped them back onto his face.

“Faith was the one who warned me that I might find something at Buffy’s house. So her friends know the whole story and I suspect you don’t pay them for their silence.” He didn’t want to drop Faith into it, but he needed to make his point clear. He was on their side. Buffy’s side. And if she would allow it, he would stay by her side for as long as she wanted him.

“Yes, but that’s a completely different set of circumstances. I don’t have to pay them because they care for Buffy a great deal and would never do anything to hurt her.” Giles was fishing he could tell, wanting to know whether this was a game to him, some sick game to get one over Buffy in order to get one into her. He would never do that, he loved her.

“Then in that case, no payment is required.” Spike looked Giles straight in the eye letting his true feelings show.

“Really? It’s not like you are the picture of virtue Spike, how do I know we can trust you?”

“I’m not a total prick like Parker, Giles,” he explained knowing where Giles’ inability to trust him had originated from.

“She’s like a daughter to me Spike, Cody like a son, it’s more than business we are talking about here.”

“It’s more than business for me too.” Did he have to spell it out? He was only just becoming comfortable telling Buffy that he loved her. Did he have to tell Giles as well?

“Sorry to be so blunt Spike, but what game are you playing here? What do you want from her? An instant family to lift the deadbeat rocker profile?”

“I love her Giles,” his words never wavering. “With or with out the family in tow.”

“What does that mean exactly?” This guy could give Interpol a run for their money with his interrogation. He hesitated for the briefest of moments before he spoke.

“It means I am in love with her. I want to date her, find out her favorite song, color, food. I want to know what she looks like when she wakes up in the morning, and I want her to be the last thing I see before I go to sleep at night. I want to be in her life, I want her to let me love her. I want it all.”

“I think I get the picture,” Giles replied rather uncomfortably.

“Good, because I want you to know that what I want her to do is out of love, not selfish ambition.”

“Here is comes. I knew there was a catch. What do you want from her?”

“Giles, you are not a stupid man, you had to know you’d have to deal with this some day. She has to come clean about Cody.”

****

“You spoke to Giles,” Buffy didn’t so much as ask the question but make the statement as she stood in the doorway of his trailer.

Spike had kept his distance since seeing Giles the day before. He had wanted to call her many times to see how she was holding up, but at the same time he wanted to give her the space she needed to make the hard decisions she was facing. He wanted to be more of a help than a hindrance.

She looked tired, beautiful, but tired nonetheless. The weight of her dilemma showed not only on her face, but in her body as well. Gone was the confident women he had grown to love. She looked almost frail to him. He wanted to scoop her into his arms and tell her it was all going to be ok.

But he couldn’t. His feelings for her would only serve to confuse her more and the last thing he wanted to be was confusing.

“Yeah I did speak to Rupes. So ready for the scene today? I am happy to run lines if you want.” He could she the confusion on her face.

“What?” Buffy asked, totally confused.

“Today’s scene with the alien invaders. Lots of space lingo in it love. I know I could do with a spot of practice.” Buffy just stood stunned to the spot. Spike chuckled.

“Cat got it?” he asked.

“What?”

“Your tongue, love. Why the Charlie Chaplin routine?”

“I’m just a little confused is all.”

“Why? The last time I checked, we were making a film here today.”

“No, I just figured you might want to talk about,” she dropped her voice, “Cody.”

“And I figure it’s the last thing, in the last place, you would want to talk about anything private. You know us movie types. Not known for our discretion.”

Buffy giggled he suspected for the first time in a while.

“Maybe we could talk tonight?” Spike asked.

“Tonight?”

“At my place. Dinner and walls without ears.”

Buffy knew she shouldn’t. Too many temptations, but she knew she had to. They had to sort out all that had gone on between them in the past few days, weeks even. It had to be sorted before she could move on.

With or without him.
Chapter 25: Fairytales and Castles in the Sky by wattie
Chapter 25

Buffy looked out over the Valley. The twinkling lights below made it look like a fairy tale kingdom and as she took another sip of her champagne, she did feel every bit the princess.

Was her life a fairy tale? From the outside looking in it sure looked that way; her first big movie, not to mention a romance with one of the hottest actors around. To the outside world she had it made.

More than that, from the inside looking out for the first time in a long time, she felt at peace with her life. Past, present the whole shebang. Of course it was the calm before the storm; Giles had scheduled a press conference in two days time. However, she enjoyed the feeling. Sure she had some trials and tribulations along the way, but at the end of the day she had a great family a fulfilling career, and if she could stop being stubborn and listen to her heart she had a Prince Charming too.

“Do you like the view?” Spike asked as he made his way out of the kitchen and joined her in the living room.

“It’s breathtaking,” she replied.

“It helps soften the blow of my bad cooking, sorry about the chicken,” Spike sat down on the large cream couch as Buffy turned to join him. She wondered how long it would take Cody to get his finger prints all over it. The thought scared her and she shook it from her mind.

“It was fine; you forget I can burn water.”

“Not forgotten, love; I have just never had the pleasure of your cooking.”

“Trust me you won’t be thinking of pleasure when you eat my food,” Buffy giggled as she took another sip of her drink and sunk further into comfort of the lounge.

Her giggle was music to Spike’s ears as he looked over at her so relaxed resting on his couch and for a moment he caught a glimpse of their life together. He wasn’t scared, in fact if anything, he was disappointed. Disappointed that he didn’t have it now.

“Spike?” Buffy was staring at him now. “Are you ok?”

“Yeah, I just zoned out there for a while.” He straightened himself and asked the question he had wanted to know the answer to for a long time.

“Do you regret our deal?”

“Would it surprise you if I said no?” Buffy replied.

“Yeah it would. I didn’t mean to…”

“Turn my life upside down,” she offered.

“Find out about Cody, but I guess that did turn your life upside down. Sorry.”

“Don’t be. All of what’s going to happen it’s not because of you Spike. I made choices a long time ago; way before you came into my life. But in a way I think you helped me,” Buffy took another sip as if seeking courage from the alcohol within it.

“How so?”

“Sometimes I think the whole reason I have this career is because of Cody. You know I was sixteen and had to find a way to make a living. The acting thing was all I had and when I got here. I had to make it work, if I failed Cody, Dawn and I didn’t eat. I did what I had to because of my circumstances, but in the end I was doing what I wanted to do.”

Spike looked puzzled. “I’m not quite connecting the dots here love.”

Buffy moved over and placed her hand over his. “You were the catalyst for coming clean about Cody, but I need to do it, not just because you know about it. I need to live and give Cody the life he deserves now, not the life I thought he needed five years ago.”

“Buffy, I don’t know what to say.”

“It’s not for you to say anything; it’s for me to say.” She leant over and kissed him. It took him by surprise, and was over before it began. “Thank you William.”

****

“So, tell me how William Simons became movie mega star Spike Simons,” Buffy asked as she took a sip of her second hot chocolate of the night.
They had slipped into an easy conversation talking about nothing really important, but just connecting, becoming friends. It felt good.

“You really want to know?” Spike fidgeted nervously not really wanting to go down this line of questioning.

“Spike, you know more about me that most people. I think I am entitled to know a little about you too.”

“Well, it happened by accident really; see in school I was a real geek, nerd to the core. I loved school and was in all the honor classes.” Spike looked up to see the look of shock that Buffy wasn’t even trying to hide on her face.

“I know it doesn’t quite fit now does it? That’s what a change of hair color and some contact lenses can do. Anyways in school I had a crush on a girl named Cecily. She was in the drama club.”

“And you joined so you could get close to her?”

“Close, she was to be the lead in Romeo and Juliet, but she wasn’t the sharpest tool in the shed so I was asked to help her understand the text. I thought she really liked me. We were spending all this time together and reading all this romance stuff. I kinda blurred the lines you know.”

“Yeah I know,” Buffy knew intimately; it was what they were doing right now.

“The main actor, the guy playing Romeo, got sick, real sick about three days before opening night and I was the only one who knew all the part. So I subbed in. It was only supposed to be for two nights and yet here I am still doing it.”

“What happened to the girl?”

“Don’t know, don’t care. At first I was really excited getting the part because I was going to kiss her, but once I stepped out on stage something happened, changed within me. I felt alive for the first time; I wasn’t confined by my own limitations and insecurities. I could be who ever I wanted. I could leave my weak self behind.” Spike swallowed hard, it had been a long time since he had even thought of those days let alone speak of them.

“You’re not weak Spike. You are one of the strongest men I have known, granted I haven’t known that many, but still…” Buffy saw something shift within him the look in his eyes changed. She had seen that look right before he had kissed her.

“I had better get you home,” Spike stood and made his way to the door leaving Buffy stunned behind him.

“Why?”

“Because if I don’t take you home now, I will grab you kiss you and take you to bed and not let you go for a very long time.”

“Spike...” Buffy stepped towards him,

“Don’t Buffy. You might think you want this, and on some level that’s true, but your life is going to get really hectic and I don’t want to be another complication right now.” He grabbed her around the waist and kissed her. She could feel his restraint. “I want to be the reason you want to love, not the reason to throw it all away,”
Chapter one: Ok I'll do it by wattie
Chapter 26

“Spike, wait.”

He turned and looked at her and his racing heart and hormones stilled. She was beautiful, no question, but her beauty did not lie within her outward appearance. It lay within her heart. Which she was clearly wearing on her sleeve, point of fact, she was radiating.

“Buffy?” he didn’t dare ask the question but his heart needed to hear the words. As he moved towards her he saw hesitation play across her face.

“I hate your couch,” she blurted.

Well that wasn’t quite the response he was looking for.

“So that’s why you stopped me from taking you safely home, so you could criticize my decorating choices? Well too bad because they we Stefan’s choices not mine. Here, I will give you his number so you can give him a piece of your mind,” He pulled his cell from his back pocket; he stopped as Buffy’s hands stilled his own.

“No, what I am trying to say is that its cream and that’s such a hard color to keep clean…” Now Spike had no idea what was going on but to be fair he was only half listening and half enjoying the warmth that her touch was giving him.

“So it’s the cleaning lady you have…”

“Spike, stop it, I am trying to tell you something important here,”

“What that you are angling to be-- the next Martha Stewart?”

“No, you idiot, I love you and when Cody and I move in here the couch will have to go. With all the sticky fingers just from eating breakfast alone will leave it unusable and I have never been the kind of look but don’t touch kind of parent. And the carpet I don’t even know where to start,” she started to move her hands away but he pulled them into his own.

“What?”

“I wasn’t trying to criticize Spike what I was trying to do was…” He cut her off in the only way that seemed appropriate. He kissed her. He felt her give into the kiss for a moment before reality sank in and she pushed him away.

“What are you doing?” Buffy asked as she tried to get some distance between them but he had her now and there was no way he was going to let her go.

“What I should have done the second I heard the words I love you come out of your mouth,” He ran his hands through her hair and guided her mouth over his own. There was no hesitation, no anger or frustration. Only love.

Buffy didn’t move didn’t think, didn’t judge she just felt. Felt Spikes kiss radiate its way through her body. She felt alive; aroused, moreover she felt something she had never been made to feel from another man before. Loved.

Parker had taken so much more from her than her virginity all those years ago. He had taken her chance to be loved by another man, but by God she was taking it back. Big time. She wrapped her arms around Spike’s body and kissed him back with all the love, lust and excitement that were running through her body.

She broke the kiss and looked into the blue of Spikes eyes and took a moment for it all to sink in.

“I love you, Spike.”

He ducked his head almost embarrassed at her words. She could see his hesitation. “And before you start up about being a complication I do remember someone wise telling me that it was the most simple thing in the world to love and to be loved back.”

Hearing his own words echoed back to him made him smile. “I said that didn’t I?” he started to nuzzle her neck.

“Yes you did.” Buffy tried to keep her concentration, but it was a losing battle as Spike made his way down her neck kissing and licking his way down between her breasts. As much as she didn’t want to she lifted his head getting his full attention.

“You know that my life is about to get all kinds of crazy don’t you? Are you ready for that?” she asked.

“Love, I was born ready, whatever the world has to throw at us let them have it at us. I don’t care. As long as I have you and Cody I’m happy.”

“Most guys don’t love the idea of an instant family.” She had to know where she stood.

“Well it’s a good thing that I am not most guys, I love you Buffy. I want you, want this,” He kissed her again and all the hesitations left her mind. It was her time. Time to live, time to be loved.

****

By the time they had made it into the bedroom some of the wind had been knocked out of Buffy’s sails. She had called Dawn to let her know that she would be having what Cody termed a “sleepover”, and once the ringing in her left ear stopped from the volume of Dawn’s excited scream she was sure her hearing would return to normal.

Although after tonight nothing would ever be normal ever again, she was assured of that. But what was normal? Was it normal to be as scared as she could remember?

“So, this is the bedroom,” she looked around at the room it was spacious her eyes drawn to the king sized mahogany bed. “It’s large; roomy.”

Spike stilled her with his hand on her shoulder. “Buffy.”

She turned to look at him and the nerves took a hold.

“We don’t have to do this tonight.”

“Oh, you don’t want to?” she tried to keep the disappointment from her voice.

“No, I want to, but I get a feeling that you might not want this right now.”

“Right now?” her eyes widened.

“Well, not this second. I like to give a girl a chance to warm up,” Spiked joked as he wrapped his arms around her and leaned in to kiss her.

“That’s the thing you see, the difference between you and me. Numbers.” She put more distance between them.

“Buffy, I think there are a lot more differences than numbers, but I may have to get real close and personal to double check.” He moved towards her not hesitating this time as he kissed the column of her throat.

“Spike, how many people have you slept with?”

Well, that was as good as a cold shower to kill the mood. He stepped back, straightened, and ran his fingers through his hair. Where had that come from? Usually these awkward questions were saved till at least a couple more weeks into a relationship.

Relationship.

That’s what was beginning here and it was more than just sex. He knew that, but she needed to hear it from him too.

“Buffy do you really want a number? Or do you want to know what this means to me?” He asked, already knowing the answer.

“Um, maybe both, It’s just that Parker…” Spike stopped her.

“I don’t ever want to here that pricks name again, least of all here in our bedroom right before we make love for the first time. I know what he did to you, took from you, and I don’t just mean physically. Baby, I want to give it all back to you. I want to love you, body and soul. Show you how good it can be. First time every time.”

There were no more words to be spoken, Buffy knew that. It was time her time, their time. To love and be loved.

She took his hand and kissed his palm, she guided it over her breast and closed her eyes as the pleasure of his touch warmed her inside and stilled her racing heart.

“I love you Buffy, Let me love you,” Spike whispered into her ear just before he started kissing below its lobe.

“Yes Spike, love me.”

He laid her down on the bed not hesitating for a moment. The words, the truth, had been spoken and it was time to turn words into actions. He kissed his way down the column of her throat, across her left shoulder, taking the straps of her dress with him as he went. He pulled the dress down further still as he kissed between the hollow of her breasts, moving to take her nipple in his mouth.

She gasped one part surprise, two parts pleasure. She was not thinking, just feeling. That was the thing about making love with someone that you knew loved you back. Trust, she trusted him, his feelings, and went along for the ride.

And what a ride it was turning out to be. Before she had time to fully enjoy his touch on her breast, he had moved further south pulling her panties aside and slipping his finger into her slick channel.

“Oh,” she looked up at him his eyes dark with desire.

“So wet for me, so tight, I want you so bad Buffy but I don’t want to hurt you.”

She reached up and stroked the side of his face.

“You won’t hurt me Spike, I know that.” Thy both knew she was talking about something so much more than what was about to happen.

He moved his fingers in and out readying her for himself, and she was just at the brink when he stopped.

“I know you are almost there baby, but I can’t take much more. I have to have you know.” He quickly unfastened his trousers careful to take the condom from his pocket before they hit the floor. Once he had put it on he was back on top of her his penis pushing slightly at her opening.

“I love you Buffy,” he said as he pushed inside her.

She tried to speak however her breath was momentarily taken away by the sensations coursing though her. Her first sexual encounter was clumsy at best, and the faded memory did not compare to the feelings she was currently experiencing. As he started to move memories faded and instinct kicked in.

She matched him thrust for thrust as though the tension that had been inside her since the first day she had seen Spike had been released. She kissed his mouth, chest, whatever she could reach. Her body seeking the satisfaction that only he could provide.

“Buffy, I need you to come for me.” Spike reached down and circled her clit with his fingers she was already at the edge, but at his first touch, tumbled right over it.

His name was on her lips as she came and she felt the sheer force of him as he found his own release.

It took a few moments for it all to sink in as they lay there on top of one another. Spike murmuring his love for her into her ears. She just smiled and took it all in as if she was the last one to finally get the joke.

However this was no joke she knew that. This is what it was like. This was what making love and being in love felt like.

And as she rolled Spike onto his back and straddled him she couldn’t wait for more.
Epilogue by wattie
AN: So here it is i have finished WSC. I want to say a big thanks to Carly, Amy and Brat for all their help and encouragment with this fic. And thanks to everyone who read, read and reviewed and enjoyed this fic.

Epilogue

“So tell me— who are you wearing?” Buffy tried not to roll her eyes as she was asked the same question for the fiftieth time however, not even that could damper her mood.

Tonight was the première of the movie that had changed her life.

“Vera Wang,” she replied as she did a half turn to show the detail on the back of the cabernet colored dress. It was a gift from the designer who was helping design another dress for her. However this dress was white, showed a little less leg and cleavage, and was almost ready to be worn. However tonight she had chosen the bold color because she knew it was Spike’s favorite and her date liked it too.

“Mommy looks really pretty, like a princess,” Cody added as though he and the reporter had been friends for years. “I’m wearing Gap Kids,” he said as he copied Buffy’s earlier turn.

When the news had broken about Cody eight months earlier it had been tough, but not as harrowing as she had thought. With Spike by her side it didn’t seem like the end of the world telling the truth about Cody. In a way she was looking forward to having the freedom to be herself and to live the life that she had worked so hard to give Cody.

The press had been relentless for about six weeks. She did the rounds of the talk shows and once the scandal died down there was not much more to report. At the end of the day all she was a young single mom working hard to raise her son. There were no late nights partying, trips to rehab, in short, nothing to report of, or be reported on.

“So when’s the big day?”

Except for that.

The morning after she and Spike had made love he had proposed. Her heart said yes, but her head had reservations.

“It’s too soon,” she replied joining him on the floor where he was still on bended knee.

“Okay not quite the response I was looking for,” he tried to hide his disappointment.

“No, Spike, I want to marry you no question but …” his kiss silenced her.

“Then that settles it, no question. I love you Buffy. I want to marry you today if I could. Hell, by Hollywood standards we should be married and divorced by now,” she giggled at his joke. What was the problem they loved each other? A lot of other people had gotten married based on much less than love.

“I will have to check with Cody,” she bit her lip waiting for the other shoe to drop with Spike. This was going to be his life now, not being able to make split decisions but having to take a family into account.

“How remiss of me, of course you will have to check with him, in fact I should have done this in the first place.” He pulled out his cell and called her home number that she couldn’t help but notice was number one on his speed dial.

“Cody, its Spike I have an important question to ask you…”

“No comment,” was her answer to the press, but the real answer was…

“In two weeks mommy and Spike get to dress up again and I get to be a page boy,” Cody told the reporter unable to hide his excitement. The smart thing would have been to tell him not to tell anyone. However Buffy was trying this new thing called being open and honest. She had spent most of his life keeping secrets, she didn’t want Cody to have to do the same.

“I guess you get the scoop,” Buffy told the slightly shocked reporter.

“What’s the scoop?” Spike came up behind them putting his arm both around his fiancé and his soon to be son. That was his wedding gift to Buffy; he was going to adopt Cody. Be the father that Cody deserved.

“Cody here just let the cat out of the bag it seems,” the reporter told Spike “Where is the big day going to be?”

“Well love, that’s for us to know and hopefully for you to never find out.” He led Buffy and Cody away from the reporter along the red carpet and into the theatre.

****

The movie was a hit and had been in the top ten of the box office for the past two weeks. But, as he watched Buffy walk down the aisle hand in hand with Cody, none of that mattered. He loved that the film had given him so much more than a boost to his career and the ability to choose his next project. Yes, it had given him more than all of that put together.

It had given him love.

Twelve months ago getting married was the last thing he felt like doing and getting wasted was the first.

Wasted. That was what his life was – wasting away until she bowled into his life. He should have known he was gone the minute she came into that room all bravado and mini skirt. He fought the good fight but sometimes surrender was as sweet as victory.

He had surrendered, given himself and given up his old ways away for her, now that wasn’t exactly true, he had given them away for himself. He had chosen life and love over bitterness and destruction.

The time after the news about Cody was tough and even though he knew that Buffy would say he had given her strength, she had given him the same and more. Strength, love, family all of it a gift that he never thought he would receive.

He was a better man for it, and now he was to become a husband and a father.

Tears welled in both their eyes as she stopped by his side.

“Make my mommy a princess ok?” Cody asked as he released Buffy’s hand and shook Spike’s trying to be so much older and wiser than his six years.

“I will mate, I will try my best.” He took Buffy’s hand into his own and they began their wedding vows.

And their new life together.


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