Sweet William by Zarrah

1. One by Zarrah

2. Two by Zarrah

3. Three by Zarrah

4. Four by Zarrah

5. Five by Zarrah

6. Six by Zarrah

7. Seven by Zarrah

8. Eight by Zarrah

9. Nine by Zarrah

10. One by Zarrah

11. Eleven by Zarrah

12. Twelve by Zarrah

13. Thirteen by Zarrah

14. Fourteen by Zarrah

15. Fifteen by Zarrah

One by Zarrah
Author's Notes:
This is the sequel to 'Little Buffy' If you haven't read that story yet, please do so as this one picks up where the other one stopped.
(Previously)



"Hey...wait a minute!" Spike said as Buffy stepped down the steps, laughing. "You do remember!"

Buffy's laughter could be heard all over the cemetery as she walked away.

"Slayer, get back here!" Spike yelled grinning as he watched Buffy leave. He smiled big as he realized she remembered everything that had happened.......maybe things wouldn't be so bad after all.








Chapter One





Spike stood on the stoop of the crypt, watching Buffy until she was completely out of sight. He waited until he could no longer hear her laughter before he turned, a wide smile still present on his face. Stepping into the crypt and shutting the door, he walked back to his chair and sat down hard, his mind trying to wrap around the thoughts of Buffy remembering all the events of the past week.



He had hoped she would remember. Most importantly, he hoped she remembered that she hadn’t seen him as a monster but as a man, as her friend.



He knew the smile on his face would take days to wipe off. The small kiss Buffy had left on his cheek still stung from the heat of her lips. Glancing to the corner where his refrigerator sat, his smile widened as he saw the purple crayon drawing ‘Little Buffy’ had made for him. It was the only picture he had of him and her together, all though they were both stick figures and both done in purple, the memory of her face lighting up when she had presented it to him and the wide smile that had curved her lips when he took it home with him caused his face to almost ache from the huge smile he couldn’t seem to erase.



Laying his head back and resting it on the back of his chair, Spike stared at the drawing. He wasn’t sure what to make of the fact that she had kept her ‘secret’ from her friends, but was glad she had decided to share it with him.



~*~*~*~





“So, everything went okay with Spike last night? No creepy feelings or anything?” Willow asked as her and Buffy sat around the large research table at the Magic Box.



“No, no creepy feelings.” Buffy said quietly. “It was kinda nice actually.”



“Really?” Willow asked, her eyes slightly wide. “Nice as in, he wasn’t snarky or nice as in he was…well, being nice?”



Buffy smiled as she crossed her arms infront of her and laid them on the table. “Nice as in, we talked. No awkward feelings or anything.”



“Well that’s good.”



“Yeah.” Buffy replied her mind wandering as the bell above the door sent Willows head in the direction of the front of the store.



“Hello ladies.” Xander said, smiling as he sauntered down the steps and plopped down in the chair beside of Willow. “What’s the gossip for today?”



“Oh nothing much. Just discussing Buffy’s meeting with Spike.”



“You went to see Spike?” Xander asked surprised. “What in the world for?”



“To thank him for all he had done for her.” Willow answered for Buffy as she seemed to be lost in her thoughts.



“Thank him?” Xander asked, the words coming out strained. “What’s there to thank him for?” For hanging around like some leach for a week or for corrupting the mind of a four year old?”



“Xan, when are you going to see that it was more than him taking advantage?” Willow asked, rolling her eyes slightly. “He was there for her all week, and personally, I think you’re just jealous she wanted to spend her time with him and not you.” She added, giggling at the twisted face of disgust Xander seemed to be having trouble containing.



Buffy could hear their chattering, but their words were completely lost to her as her thoughts were once again on Spike. She hadn’t been able to think of much else since she had been ‘restored’ to her usual self.



The minute the spell had broken and the disorienting feelings had left her, the smiles of all her friends had greeted her and she bit back tears that she wasn’t sure why were stinging her eyes when she realized Spike wasn’t there.



She remembered every minute she had spent with him. Off all the loved ones that surrounded her constantly when she was ‘little’, the image of Spike sitting and playing with her, of him sitting with her all night as she slept and of the hours of coloring was the only memory she could seem to focus on.



Had she been truly wrong about him? Was he more than just a monster like she had repeatedly told him? She knew the answer to that question before she even thought it. He wasn’t a monster. He was a man who was in love with her and despite her rude, almost constant ridicule of his feelings; he had shown her a side of himself that she wouldn’t have even bothered to look at.



“Hey, Buff…you gonna come out of the clouds and answer me?” Xander asked, his head tilting to the side as he stared at her.



Buffy finally focused her eyes as Xander’s hand waving in front of her face finally caught her attention and she smiled, blushing slightly when she realized she had been so wrapped up in her thoughts of Spike that she had completely zoned out.



Glancing around the room quickly, hoping her face wasn’t a red as it felt she smiled slightly before looking over at her friends.



“Where were you just now?” Xander asked, “I’ve been trying to talk to you for the last five minutes. You aren’t in some tortured state of mind now that you know you actually played nice with the evil undead are you?”



“No.” Buffy said quietly. “I just have a lot on my mind is all.”



“Yeah, I probably would to. I mean, having Spike around at all is torture on ones mind, not to mention how you practically worshiped the ground he lurked on.”



“It wasn’t that bad.” Buffy said softly, glancing down at her hands before looking back up.



“Wasn’t that bad?” Xander asked, his face scrunching up in disgust at the prospects. “Spike hanging around for more than two seconds is bad, let alone having him around for hours at a time. Not to mention the icky sight of you fawning over him like he was the next best thing to happen since Burger King added king size fries.”



Buffy chuckled softly before standing and shaking her head. “I’ve got to go guys, I’ll catch you later.” She said before turning and heading towards the door.



“Okay, did I just miss something or did she just completely ignore me?”



Willow hid her smile behind her hand as she watched Buffy walk out the door before turning to face Xander. She wasn’t completely sure what Buffy was thinking, but she had a sneaking suspicion she remembered more about her ‘toddler time’ and Spike than she was letting on.



~*~*~*~



Buffy walked slowly through the last cemetery on her patrol, absently twirling a stake in her hand. She hadn’t encountered one vamp all night and she was getting anxious to release some of the stress she had been feeling on some dumb unexpecting night crawler.



Xander’s quick assessment that she should be feeling angry about spending time with Spike had her confused as to what to do. She knew her friends saw Spike in a different light, she did herself until a few days ago, but she couldn’t help but think that there was more to him than they were allowing themselves to see.



Sure he was a vampire who had tried to kill them repeatedly, but since the chip, he’d changed. She didn’t know why she never allowed herself to see it before and all the hateful words she had said to him since bothered her.



Sitting down on a grave marker, Buffy sighed loudly. Her head turned in the direction of Spike’s crypt and the urge to go see him was strong. She had never just paid him a ‘social’ visit and wondered how he would feel about getting one now. The fact that she ‘wanted’ to pay him a visit was more disturbing than anything. To be honest, she had gotten use to seeing him on a daily basis and now that she was her old self again, the need to see him was still there.



“Well if it isn’t my favorite slayer.” Spike said as he slowly walked towards Buffy, cigarette dangling from his lip. “Out for the nightly patrol I see.”



Buffy’s head snapped to the side at his voice, a little smile curving her lips as Spike approached her. “Hey Spike.” She said, her smile widening as he stopped in front of her.



Spike was taken aback at the smile she gave him. It looked almost friendly and that was a gesture he didn’t expect from this version of Buffy. “Hey yourself.” He said, a small smile lighting up his face.



An uncomfortable silence fell around them both suddenly and they both looked away from the other. Buffy almost had the notion to laugh at the awkward feelings she now seemed to be having. She had never felt the need to feel anything where Spike was concerned, but now that he was standing in front of her; she had to wonder why she suddenly felt a small fluttering of butterflies in her stomach.



“So.” Spike started, the silence almost deafening, “You just getting started on the patrol or finishing up?”



“Oh, um…just starting.” Buffy lied. She bit back another smile and wondered ‘why’ she had just said that.



“Really? Up for a little company?” Spike asked with a smile as he tossed his spent smoke to the ground and crushed it under his foot.



“Yeah, I guess so.” Buffy said as she jumped down of the grave marker she had been sitting on. “Let’s go.”



Spike couldn’t hide his smile as he fell into step beside of her as they headed through the cemetery. He didn’t think she would ever allow him the chance to actually get close to her, not that patrol was anything to get excited about, but she never wanted his help unless some big bad was on the loose. The fact that she was taking him on patrol, just for the company made his heart swell and he knew he’d fall in love with her even more than he already was if she continued to be nice to him.



Buffy was speechless. She didn’t have a clue as to what to say to him. Why she suddenly felt nervous was beyond her, but to be honest, she liked the feeling, not that she would tell anyone though.



“So, how’s the nibblet doing?” Spike asked, the silence starting to get to him.



“Oh, she’s good.” Buffy answered. “Well, I think she’s still upset they turned me back, but she’s dealing.”



“Well not that I minded the little you, but I’m much rather have the adult version walking around.”



Buffy turned her head, glancing at him briefly and turning away with a smile as she saw the look on his face. She knew he probably heard her heartbeat speed up, but at the moment, she really couldn’t find a reason to care. The almost ‘puppy dog eyes’ he had always given her that usually grossed her out had just made her heart flutter, and the feeling made her giddy with possibilities that just a week ago would have had her staking him for sure, now, it was a pleasant change she was looking forward to.



~*~*~*~



Dawn looked up from the couch when the front door opened and her face fell when she saw Willow instead of Buffy. She had purposely stayed up past her bed time to have a talk with her sister about her sudden change in behavior and about her feelings towards Spike now that she was back to her normal self.



“Hey Dawnie, where’s Buffy at?” Willow asked as she walked into the Living Room, finally convinced she needed to have a talk with her best friend.



“She’s not back from patrol yet.” Dawn told her, her head turning back to the TV.



“Really?” Willow asked surprised. “She’s been gone for hours.”



“I know.” Dawn said as she turned to look at Willow. “You don’t think something happened do you?” she asked, suddenly getting worried.



“No.” Willow reassured her with a smile. “Buffy can take care of herself.”



“Well I know, but she’s been a little out of it lately, maybe if she wasn’t thinking clearly then something…”



“Shhh.” Willow said, holding her hand up and quieting Dawn. “Did you hear that?”



Dawn sat up and hit the mute button on the TV remote and listened quietly to see what Willow had heard. Her lips curved into a smile when they heard the muffled sound of Buffy’s laughter. “Sounds like it’s coming from out back.” Dawn whispered, her eyes bright as she stood up from the couch.



Willow grinned at her as she followed Dawn to the Kitchen, Buffy’s laughter getting louder as they entered. It had been a while since they had heard her actually laughing and the sound of it had them both wondering what was going on.



Walking quietly to the back door, Willow and Dawn both peeked out through the blinds and was surprised to see Buffy and Spike sitting on the steps. They both had huge smiles on their faces and Buffy was still laughing. The fact that she was with Spike was strange enough, let alone the fact that she was apparently enjoying herself.



“Well, looks like someone has some explaining to do.” Willow said grinning as she watched the two on the back porch laugh. Her face broke out into a smile at Buffy’s apparent happiness but it soon fell away when she remembered the source of said happiness.



“What do you think they’re talking about?” Dawn asked, her overjoyed face a light with the new found friendship Buffy had apparently found with Spike.



“Not sure, but I’m going to find out.” Willow said as she stepped back from the door and grabbed the door knob.



Buffy wiped the tears away from her eyes as she tried to get her laughter to calm down. Spike’s retelling of Xander’s reaction when she had called him a ‘poophead’ and her kicking him was much funnier than when Xander had told her. In fact, to hear Spike tell it, the whole adventure would have made for very entertaining television. She had spent most of her time with him, so he had more stories than all of her friends did combined.



“Well, it’s about time you made it back.” Willow said as she leaned up against the doorframe, her arms crossed over her chest. “We’ve been worried sick about you.” She lied.



Buffy and Spike both turned their heads towards the door, neither one of them hearing Willow when she had opened it.



“Oh, Hey Wills.” Buffy said quickly as she stood up, “It’s not that late is it?” she asked, seeing Dawn standing behind her friend.



”It’s after twelve and since when does patrol take six hours?” she asked, the smile biting at her lips becoming painful as she held it back.



“It’s midnight?” Buffy asked shocked. “Dawn why are you still up, tomorrows a school day?”



“I was waiting for you, where have you been?” Dawn said, looking from Buffy to Spike. “Was there some nasty running around tonight?”



“Um, no, no nasty.” Buffy said glancing over at Spike. “It’s past your bedtime, go to bed.”



Dawn rolled her eyes before her shoulders slumped. “Fine whatever.” She mumbled. “Night Spike.” She said before turning and walking out of the Kitchen.



Spike smiled after telling Dawn goodnight. He was still on a high from spending the last couple of hours with Buffy and now that Willow had informed them that Buffy had been gone for six hours, he knew she had extended her patrol. The thoughts of her doing it to spend time with him gave him a sliver of hope that things had changed, but the history between them didn’t let him get his hopes up to much.



“So, where have you been?” Willow asked again as she looked at Buffy. “You left here hours ago.”



If there hade been a rock big enough, Buffy would have surely crawled under it. She had told Spike she had just started patrol, now he would know she had lied. “Um, just got side tracked, took longer than expected.” She told her hoping her explanation worked.



“Uh huh.” Willow said, a smile finally breaking out on her face. “Well I’m going to bed. Goodnight you two.”



Buffy and Spike both said goodnight and watched as Willow walked back into the house and closed the door. The awkward silence that had taken them a while to overcome had finally resurfaced as Buffy slowly turned and faced Spike.



“Well, I guess I better go in.” she said quietly, unable to keep eye contact with him long.



“Yeah, seems you’re going to have some explaining to do.”



Buffy’s eyes widened. He knew she lied about the patrol and just said it to be able to spend time with him.



“Getting caught with the likes of me isn’t going to have an easy out.” Spike said smiling, knowing the deer in headlights look came from the ‘six hour patrol’ she had taken and not that she was caught with him. “Catch ya later Buffy.” He added before smiling and walking down the steps.



“Goodnight Spike.” Buffy said as she watched him walk towards the fence and into the shadows. Buffy stood there, trying to see him and trying to figure out how to explain her absence to Willow before she finally turned back to the house. Opening the door, she walked in, turning the latch to lock the door before flipping off the lights and headed for the stairs. The little smile that had been etched on her face all night had crept back up as she rounded the corner of the Dining Room and made her way towards the stairs.



“Okay missy, spill.” Willow said when Buffy stepped on the bottom step and looked up.



Buffy jumped; startled to see Willow perched on the top step smiling like the Cheshire cat as she looked at her. “Spill what?” she asked as she slowly took a few more steps up.



“Spill why it took you six hours to do a patrol that normally takes just a few and the fact that I found you making friendly with Spike on the back porch, in the dark I might add.”



Buffy looked away, her bottom lip finding it’s way between her teeth and she walked up the steps. “Um, no reason for the long patrol and I just ran into Spike.” She said as she hurriedly made her way up the steps as Willow stood up.



“Yeah, and what was with the happy laughter you two were doing?”



“What, is it a crime to laugh now?” Buffy asked as her quickened her step with Willow right on her heels.



“No, not a crime, unless it’s with someone who just last week you persisted you hated.”



Buffy stopped at her door, her hand on the knob as she turned her head to look at Willow. She sighed lightly, the smile on Willows face letting her know she knew more of what Buffy was feeling than she would have liked. “I may have been wrong.” She said softly, looking down at the floor. “He’s not really that bad once you get to know him.”



“Really?” Willow asked. “And how ‘well’ do you know him now?”



Buffy looked up, a little smile on her face. “Can we talk about this tomorrow, I’m really tired.”



Willow giggled and shook her head. “You remember it all don’t you?”



Buffy’s smile was the only answer she needed but the small ‘yes’ Buffy let slip out had Willow laughing. “I want full details tomorrow, got it?”



“Loud and clear.” Buffy said as she opened her door and walked inside. She leaned against the door once she closed it behind her, the night replaying in her mind. She smiled as the memories replayed for her. It was the best time she had had in a while. She couldn’t remember the last time she had actually laughed and felt good to be doing so.



Stripping her clothes off, Buffy grabbed the over sized night shirt from her dresser and slipped it on before walking to the window. Grabbing the string on the blinds she pulled it to close off the offending light from the streetlight but stopped as the red flicker of light under the tree caught her attention. She smiled when she saw it get brighter before it fell to the ground and was gone. “Goodnight Spike.” She said quietly, knowing he was there, still watching over her as she slept.
Two by Zarrah
Chapter Two


Buffy reached over, slapping at the shrill blast of noise that had disturbed her dreams. She popped one eye open when she heard a crack and saw that she had hit the alarm clock a little too hard again.



Sighing loudly, she flipped over to her back, staring up at the ceiling before a tiny smile curved her lips as her dream floated back to her mind. She suppressed a giggle as visions of Spike running through her house being chased by the tiny girl she had been a week ago replayed for her.



She still couldn’t believe most of the things she remembered. Spike certainly wasn’t the person she thought he was, a cold blooded killer whose greatest thrill was tracking down slayers and ending their short lives, but a sweet attentive man who had spent his days playing hide and go seek with a four year old. The thoughts alone were mind blowing and she still wasn’t sure if even that thought was correct. *Who is Spike? Who is the man behind the cocky, snarky attitude?*



“You going to lay in bed with that goofy grin on your face all day or are you going to come down for breakfast?” Willow asked as she leaned up against Buffy’s door.



Buffy looked over at the door, smiling as she sat up. “Morning Will.”



“Morning. I made breakfast.”



Buffy inhaled deeply, smiling wider as she flipped the covers off of her. “I can smell. What’s the big occasion?”



“Uh, that would be you and the little secret you’ve been keeping from me.” Willow answered her with a grin. “Remember, you, little girl, a week worth of memories you forgot to mention? That and what ever just put that smile on your face.”



“Oh yeah.” Buffy said, ducking her head slightly. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to keep it from you.”



“Well, come on and you can explain why you did.” Willow said as she turned and walked out of Buffy’s room.



Buffy took a detour into the bathroom, getting herself together before heading down the stairs. Her eyes widened as she entered the Kitchen seeing enough food prepared for a small army even though her and Dawn were the only other ones there. “Uh, Will, over do much?” she asked smiling as she looked at the mounds of bacon, pancakes and eggs.



“Well, I was so wrapped up in thoughts of you remembering that I was a little distracted.” Willow said grinning. “Now sit, I want to hear everything.”



Buffy smiled as she took her seat and Willow piled a plate full of food and sat it down infront of her. Picking up her fork, she pushed the food around a minute before turning and looking at Willow who was staring at her. “What?”



“You know what, now spill.” She said as she leaned her arms on the bar and looked at Buffy.



“Fine, what do you want to know first?”



“Well, how about, do you remember everything?”



Buffy smiled, jabbing at her eggs before taking a bit and chewing slowly. “Yeah, I remember everything.”



Willow’s small squeal made her jump, a giggle escaping her before she shook her head.



“I remember Spike finding me in the training room, Xander’s reaction, everything.”



“All the Spike stuff?”



Buffy looked back down at her plate, a smile tugging at her lips before she slowly shook her head again. “Yeah, all the Spike stuff.”



“And?”



“And what?”



“And how do you feel? About the Spike stuff?”



Buffy really couldn’t answer that one. She didn’t know how she felt about it. She knew she didn’t see him the same way she had a week ago, but what did that mean exactly?



“I mean, if you need to talk about it, you know I’m here.” Willow told her. “I know having Spike around was hard on all of us and you having actually played nice with him must be hard to get a grip on and if anything I know that he’s not going to just go away now that you’re back to your normal self, not after the way you treated him.”



Buffy looked up at her friend, seeing the look on her face and knew she wasn’t happy about the thoughts of Spike still hanging around. Willow never said much about Spike. Buffy thought it was more of her ‘tolerating’ him than anything. No one, with the exception of Dawn had ever been nice to Spike, herself included. Why would that change now? And how could she tell them that she didn’t see him in the same light anymore?



~*~*~*~



Spike had practically beaten his crypt door down waiting for the sun to set before stepping out into the night air. His destination had been on his mind all day and just the thoughts of her put a smile on his face.



Taking a long drag off of his smoke Spike walked quickly through the cemetery. Buffy had treated him like he ‘was’ somebody, not just a thing, the night before and that was a feeling he could get use to and he needed to know if it were just a fluke or if she had finally seen what he had been trying to get her to see for a while now.



Passing the cemetery gates, Spike tossed his spent cigarette to the ground, stepping on it before walking out onto the sidewalk. Shoving his hands deep into his pockets, he turned towards Buffy’s house and quickened his steps.



“Well, someone’s in a hurry.”



Spike stopped, his head snapping to the side as he turned and looked behind him. A smile broke out on his face as he saw Buffy leaning against the wall of the cemetery smiling at him.



Buffy pushed off the wall, unsure of what she was supposed to do now. She had been on her way to see him when she saw him walking through the cemetery as she had entered and walked back out to wait on him. “So, where’s the fire?”



“No fire.” Spike said smiling as she walked towards him. “Was on my way to see you actually.”



Buffy couldn’t explain the odd sensation that swept through her at that. Spike had come to see her plenty of times and the thoughts usually sickened her, but now, they left a tingling in the pit of her stomach.



“What are you doing here?” Spike asked, “Kinda early for patrol.”



“Well, I um….I was on my way to see you.” Buffy said quietly, shoving her hands in her jacket pockets as she ducked her head briefly before glancing back up at him.



Spike couldn’t contain the smile on his face as it grew; the slight rush of thumps Buffy’s heart made as it sped up or the pink tint her face had taken on. “Well, this works out nicely then.” He said, taking a few steps closer to her.



“Yeah, I guess so.” Buffy said, a tiny smile gracing her face as she looked up at him. The look he was giving her was one she had seen a thousand times, but this time, she welcomed it. “So, um do ya wanna patrol with me?” she asked softly, the nervousness in her words spilling out and making her cringe at their sound.



“Only if we make it the six hour kind.” Spike said grinning as he stared at her. “Lot’s of evil running ‘round the Hellmouth ya know?” he added in a soft whisper.



Buffy giggled; her face heating up more as she knew she had been caught from the night before. “Okay, six hour patrol coming up.” She said as she turned and headed for the cemetery, Spike following along beside of her. “Sure you won’t get tired of me after a few hours?”



“Never.” Was Spike’s only response. Buffy glanced over at him, the smile on his face causing her own to break into a small laugh. “Okay then, let’s go kill stuff.”



~*~*~*~



The bell above the door rang, three heads turning and smiles lighting up their faces as Willow walked into the Magic Box. Xander, Anya and Dawn were already there, waiting for the nightly Scoobie meeting to begin as Giles walked out of the training room.



“Hey, what took you so long?” Xander asked as Willow took a seat beside of him.



“Oh sorry, I feel asleep waiting for Buffy, but she never showed up. Guess she decided to head on over here instead of coming home first.” Willow said looking at Giles as he approached the table.



“Buffy’s not with you?” Giles asked, removing his glasses and giving them a slight polish before placing them back on his face.



“No, I haven’t seen her since breakfast.”



“Hum, well I suppose she’ll be along directly then.” Giles said moving around the table and picking up a large book from the shelf. “How did her patrol go last night?”



“Okay I guess.” Willow told him shrugging her shoulder as she turned her head to look at him. “She didn’t say she had any problems.”



“Well there shouldn’t be anything left for her to slay after last night.” Dawn said flipping through her history book. “She’s probably already killed it all.”



“What do you mean?” Xander asked confused.



“She was gone for over six hours.” Dawn said absently, glancing up briefly before going back to her homework.



“Six hours!” Xander said loudly, “What in the world was she doing for six hours?”



“I don’t know, killing stuff.”



“Did she say anything Will?” Xander asked, turning to look at his friend. “Is there a new big bad to worry about?”



“No, nothing specific.”



“Well she has had a lot on her mind.” Anya said, jumping into the conversation. “Maybe she was just distracted.”



Dawn’s giggle had them all looking over towards her. “Yeah, her distraction being a very bleached blonde vampire.” She said happily, not even looking up.



“She was with Spike?” Giles asked, finally turning to look at the group.



“Yeah.” Dawn giggled again, “Willow and I caught them out back….”



“Caught them what!?” Xander yelled. “Oh god, please tell me they were trying to kill one another.”



“Geez, calm down Xander, what’s up with you?” Dawn asked, her face a cloud of confusion.



“Sorry.” He said sheepishly, “It’s just…..I don’t know. Has anyone else thought she’s been acting weird lately?”



“Well why shouldn’t she?” Anya asked. “I mean we did turn her into a four year old. It must be a hard transition for her coming back from that.”



“Yeah, not to mention all the repressed disgust of having Spike as her designated best fiend.” Xander laughed.



All eyes fell on Xander, each girl rolling them before shaking their heads.



“What, that was funny.” Xander said. “Don’t you get it, best fiend?”



“Yeah, we get it.” Willow said with a sigh, “So Giles, what’s on the agenda tonight?”



“Well, there really isn’t much to discuss.” He told her. ‘No impending apocalypse to speak of. I was hoping Buffy might have seen something on patrol.”



“Well, speaking of Buffy, is it not rude of her to not even attend her own Scoobie meeting?” Anya asked as she stood up and walked to the counter, “I mean, we do have other things to do.” She said giving Xander a knowing smile.



“Yeah, it’s after eight, she should have been here by now.” Willow added, “You don’t think something happened do you?”



~*~*~*~



Buffy lifted her head, steadying herself on her hands as she looked down at Spike. They were both breathing heavily, the large demon they had been fighting almost getting the better of them both before the killing blow had been dealt and they were both thrown off their feet.



“Nice catch.” Buffy said softly, her face mere inches from his. She wasn’t sure if her shortness of breath was from the fight or the fact that she was lying almost completely on top of Spike and his arms were still in a vice like grip around her waist.



Spike was afraid if he moved or spoke he’d wake up and the dream would end. He stared up at Buffy, who still hadn’t made any attempt to move as she stared down at him, and the feel of her body against his was better than anything he could have ever imagined. Her breathing was erratic and he could feel her heart pounding in her chest and their faces were so close her warm breath played against his flesh sending chills to every part of his body.



Buffy smiled, seeing the almost terrified look in Spike’s eyes and knew their close proximity was having as much effect on him as it was her. He was heaving deep breaths of air he didn’t even need and his once clear blue eyes were getting darker every second. She glanced down at his face, the contours she had tried to erase from her memory coming into focus. She blinked, trying to clear her head as his tongue flicked out, moistening his lip and she couldn’t think of anything else in that moment except if they were as soft as they looked.



“Buffy.” Spike breathed out as he raised his head slightly, raising his hand and sliding it up her back.



Buffy braced her self, knowing he was going to kiss her, her heart pounding relentlessly in her chest as her eyes slowly closed, waiting for the moment she knew would change her life.



“Well, if it isn’t the Slayer and her pet vampire.”



Buffy’s eyes snapped opened and she turned her head, seeing a lone vampire standing off to the side smiling at them.



“Am I interrupting?” he laughed.



*Actually you are* Buffy shouted in her head and her eyes slid into small slit as she grudgingly rose up and stood. Without much more than a flick of her wrist, Buffy hurled a stake into the air, the rush of wind it made as it cut through the air the only noise to be heard before the vamp looked down with a grunt as it imbedded into his chest.



“Oh man.” He said before he looked back up, the world falling away as he turned to ash and fell to the ground.



Buffy sighed heavily, rolling her eyes before she turned to Spike who had picked himself up off the ground. She smiled weekly at him before turning back and retrieving the fallen stake.



Spike watched her and knew he had lost his chance. The moment was broken, there was no way to get that back now. He smiled to himself, knowing that if they hadn’t been interrupted, she would have let him kiss her, that thought alone was almost as sweet as he knew her lips would have been. That was something, right?



Buffy finally turned, seeing the look on Spike’s face and knew he was thinking the same thing she was. He looked every bit as disappointed as she felt. Smiling at him, she pocketed the stake and turned, glancing back over her shoulder. “Come on vampire, we still have four hours to go.”



A smile grew on his face as he slowly walked. He couldn’t remember the last time he had felt this good. Probably when ‘Little Buffy’ had said she loved him, but this was completely different. Buffy, his Buffy wanted him around and almost kissed him. That was better than anything in this decade or any other he had lived through.
Three by Zarrah
Chapter Three


Buffy was smiling as she entered the Magic Box, her good mood showing on her face. As the bell above the door signaled her arrival, Anya and Giles both looked her way.



“Good morning.” Buffy said, smiling brightly.



“Er, good morning Buffy.” Giles said, surprised by her apparent happy mood before returning the huge smile she wore.



“Did you finally have sex?” Anya asked bluntly, leaning her head to the side as she studied Buffy.



“WHAT!?” Giles and Buffy both replied.



“Well, Buffy has that goofy ‘I just had sex’ smile that Xander always gets when…”



“NO, Anya. No sex.” Buffy interrupted giggling at the look on Giles’ face.



“Then what’s with the happy face?”



“No reason, I’m just in a good mood is all.” Buffy told her as she sat down at the research table beside of Giles. “So, what’s on the agenda for today?” she asked Giles, her smile still in place.



Giles finally looked away from her and closed the book he had been reading before looking back up at her. He didn’t think he had seen her smile that big since before the ordeal with Glory. “Well, a full report on the last two nights of patrolling would be helpful, seeing how you didn’t show up for the meeting.”



“Oh,” Buffy said, ducking her head slightly, “Sorry about that, I just got busy and didn’t really pay attention to the time.”



“I see.” Giles said as he looked at her. “What sort of distraction was it? A new demon? A nest of vamps?” he asked, pulling out his journal and finding his page.



“No, just regular slaying stuff.” She lied. No way could she tell him she had spent the last two evenings with Spike…BY CHOICE!



Giles looked up at her then, noticing a slight pink tint to her face as she idly picked at her fingernails. “I see.” He said, wondering what had brought on the blush that stained her cheeks.



“Are we going to train?” Buffy said as she stood and looked over at the training room. “I’m prepared to kick your butt today.” She told him, her smile once again returning.



“Yes.” Giles answered as he also stood. “We can go over your patrol later I suppose.”



Buffy nodded her head at him before walking towards the training room. She entered quickly, hearing Giles push his chair under the table. She sighed heavily, knowing her happy mood was going to be questioned and she wasn’t prepared to talk, at least not yet.



She had woke up that morning feeling better than she had in longer than she could remember and the reason behind it put a smile on her face she couldn’t seem to wipe off. ‘Spike’. The corners of her mouth turned up slightly as she thought of him and the growing flutters in her stomach whenever he was near came to life as the previous night once again played through her mind.



The near kiss they had almost shared made her skin tingle in anticipation at the mere thoughts of it and the light hearted banter they had shared the rest of the evening almost made up for the disappointing interruption that had taken away a moment she hoped to find again.



She had tried to figure out what was so different now, why the sight of Spike made her heart flutter instead of making her stomach turn as it had a few weeks ago. He was exactly the same, in every way but now……



Giles was standing off to the side, watching as Buffy stared blankly at the wall, a ghost of a smile on her face. He didn’t know what had her in such a good mood, but whatever it was, he had to be grateful for it. He had seen her depressed for so long; it was heart warming to see her seemingly happy again.



Clearing his throat, he slowly approached her, giving her a smile when she finally acknowledged him. “So, any preference to what we should work on first? I have some new techniques we need to go over, we could start there if you’d like?”



Buffy finally turned her head towards him, his voice finally snapping her from her thoughts. “Yeah, whatever is fine.”



“Alright then.”



~*~*~*~



“Hey G-man” Xander said smiling as Giles finally emerged from the training room.



“Xander, I do wish you would cease from calling me that.” Giles said as the others slowly filtered in. “It is most distressing.”



“Ah, come on Giles, you know it’s said with the up most respect.” Xander said grinning as Giles rolled his eyes and shook his head.



“Yes, well respect me more by not using it in the future.”



“Where’s Buffy? She was supposed to meet with my teacher today?” Dawn said flopping down in a chair. “She’s missed that meeting twice now.”



“Yeah, where is Buffy?” Xander asked looking around. “Anya said she was here.”



“Oh, she had a few errands to run before patrol.” Giles told them as he grabbed his notes. “She has already discussed last night patrol with me and it looks as if everything is surprisingly quiet.”



“She’s not going to be here again tonight?” Willow asked, confusion marring her face. “I thought she was the one that wanted these meetings?”



“Yes, well….Buffy has had quiet a bit to deal with lately, so I wouldn’t think too much of her distracting behavior.” Giles said smiling. “I think she’s coping quiet well for what she has been through.”



“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” Willow replied. “She was actually smiling when she got up this morning.” She told them grinning. “Come to think of it, she had a goofy grin on her face yesterday morning as well.”



“I know.” Dawn said pitching in smiling. “She didn’t even tell me no when I asked if I could sleep over at Janice’s house all weekend, usually she’d just freak out and give a quick no.”



“Well, maybe her being little actually helped her see what we wanted.” Anya added as she joined the group at the table. “I mean, we all wanted her happy and now, for some reason she seems to be. Mission completed.”





~*~*~*~





Buffy walked slowly through the graveyard, her eyes scanning the darkened shadows that lined either side of her. The smile tugging at her lips was being forced away by the slight tingle of pain as she bit at the inside of her jaw.



She could feel him stalking her, moving slowly in the shadows as she made her way through the marbled markers that stood eerily quiet in the bright moonlight, casting shadows along the grass.



The slight crunch of dead leaves under her boots seemed to echo through the quiet cemetery, breaking the silence that hung around her. Stopping, she listened, her head turning from right to left, trying to get an exact fix on him. The slight tingle on the back of her neck signaled his presence, but there was something more than just that, it was as if she could feel him. She could feel his eyes on her, roaming over her form and the thoughts of it excited her more than it ever should.



Spike watched her from his spot leaning against a tree. A big smile graced his face as she turned in a circle looking for him. He knew she knew he was there, but he wanted her to come to him, needed her to make the first move. Not that following her didn’t make it easy, but the fact that she was actively searching him out thrilled him to no ends.



He had been near the cemetery gates after leaving his crypt when he saw her. She was almost running towards his crypt and he hid in the shadows and watched her. He was surprised to see her actually knock on his crypt door before entering and the disappointed look on her face when she stepped back outside made him giddy with joy.



“I know you’re there.” Buffy said, the smile that had been trying to break free since she first felt his presence finally winning as her lips curved.



Spike smiled, digging in his pocket for his smokes as Buffy slowly walked in a small circle searching the shadows. Pulling a cigarette from the pack, he placed it between his lips before grabbing his lighter.



Buffy saw the small flash of red out of the corner of her eye and turned her head quickly, staring into the darkness at it before it went out. Turning, she slowly started walking forward, the smell of cigarette smoke finally reaching her before her smile grew.



“You going to follow me around all night or help?” she asked, stopping a few feet from the darkness that hid him from her.



“Depends Slayer.”



“On what?” Buffy asked, seeing the red flame from his cigarette glow brightly before dimming again.



“On how badly you need my help.” Spike told her, still encased in the black recesses of his hiding place.



Buffy grinned as she leaned back on a grave marker and crossed her arms over her chest. “Well, I don’t ‘need’ your help at all.”



“Oh?” Spike asked smiling, “So what do you want with me then?”



Buffy’s smiled faded slightly as she brought her hands down and placed them on either side of her on top of the grave marker. “Who said I wanted you?” she asked him softly, the fluttering in her stomach increasing as she saw the red flame of his cigarette glow brightly before it fell. She heard the slight crunch of leaves and watched as the red ember faded into nothing before she saw Spike emerge from the shadows.



The look on his face made her pulse race as his eyes bore into hers. His footsteps were silent as he slowly walked towards her; the only sound to be heard was the steady thumping of her heart as it beat wildly in her chest.



Standing, Buffy stare back at him, unable to tear her eyes away as he slowly approached her. The light from the full moon cast shadows across the sharp plains of his face, making his skin look paler than usual.



“You don’t want me?” Spike asked, his voice deep and sultry as he stopped in front of her. He could hear the rush of her blood as it surged through her veins and the thumping of her heart increased as looked at her.



*Oh God* Buffy said to herself as she swallowed hard and looked up at him. *Yes* her mind screamed, the word trying to force itself out of her mouth and she felt almost criminal thinking it. The bright blue in his eyes that had been there seconds ago were darkening by the second and her throat seemed to go completely dry as visions played through her mind. The usual disgusting thoughts of it, instead made her pulse quicken and her skin heat up as his question bounced across her brain.



Spike could see the inner battle she was waging with herself and a slow smile finally played across his face. “No need to answer just yet Buffy; plenty of time for that.”



Buffy finally released the breath she hadn’t realized she was holding in and realized how close he was standing to her. The look in his eyes caused her to swallow hard as she stare up at him before she smiled weakly.



“I need to patrol.”



“Figured as much.” Spike said, smiling at her breathless words. “Want some company?”



Buffy shook her head yes, unable to get her words out without it sounding like a breathy whisper.



Spike smiled before taking a step back away from her. He had to resist the urge to just lean down and kiss her, fearing she would resist him. He had taking enough rejection from her to last him two life times and he wasn’t about to mess things up now that they seemed to be working in his favor for once.



Buffy finally managed to compose herself, smiling as she turned and started walking, Spike falling into step with her. She had thought for a minute that he was going to try and kiss her again and she would be lying if she said she weren’t disappointed that he hadn’t. She still couldn’t figure out why the sudden change of heart where Spike was concerned came from. It had to be more than just the fact he had been so attentive to her when her friends spell had gone wrong. He had always been that way, only she never gave him a chance to do much before she would stop him. Could there have been more to her feelings for him all along that she had purposely denied?



Glancing over at him, Buffy’s eyes roamed over his features. She didn’t know why she hadn’t ever really paid much attention to him before, but she couldn’t deny that for a dead guy, he was quiet pleasing to look at. Hell, he was more pleasing to look at than most pulse having men she had seen.



She smiled to herself as she glanced away from him as he turned his head towards her. She could feel his eyes on her and she couldn’t help but crack a grin as she glance over at him.



“What’re you grinning at?” Spike asked smiling as he and Buffy neared the cemetery gates.



“Nothing.”



“Nothing?” he asked, “Then what’s with all the staring and smiling then?”



Buffy giggled, shoving her hands in her pockets before looking over at him. “Well, I was just wondering why I had never thought of you as attractive before.”



Spike smiled at that, a truly huge smile. “You think I’m attractive slayer?”



Buffy laughed, “Well, cute maybe, I don’t think I’d say attractive.” She told him, leaning her head to the side as she looked at him.



“CUTE!” Spike said loudly, his face twisting in disgust. “Puppies are cute slayer, the Big Bad is NOT cute, handsome maybe, sexy definitely.”



“Oh, Big Bad sexy vampires, Slayers of the world beware.” Buffy giggled, “What is that, a new way to get rid of us?”



“Hey, I’m very sexy I have you know.” Spike said grinning, “Damn fine specimen if I do say so myself.”



“How would you know?” Buffy said laughing, “You haven’t seen yourself in over one hundred and thirty years.”



“Been told, that’s how.”



“Well, they lied.” She said grinning.



Xander watched from the cemetery wall as Spike and Buffy laughed and joked with each other. His eyes were hard and cold as he watched; his knuckles white as he gripped the handle of the axe he had swung over his shoulder as he squeezed it with all his strength.



He had come to help out on her patrol and knew now why she didn’t ever ask for their help anymore since she had been returned to her normal self. The sight of them together was a little disconcerting but the fact that she was laughing and apparently enjoying herself in Spike’s company was more than disturbing.



Watching them exit the cemetery, Xander slowly moved from his hiding place, the scene he had just witnessed in the last ten minutes weighing heavily on him. Walking towards the cemetery gates, his mind tried to reason out Buffy’s state of mind since the restoration spell and knew something had gone wrong when they returned her.



Determined to make things right and get Buffy back to normal, he quickly walked in the opposite direction Spike and Buffy had went and made his way back to the Magic Box. If anyone would know if something went amiss in the spell, Giles would.
Four by Zarrah
Chapter Four


Xander was almost shaking by the time he made it to the Magic Box. He kept seeing the ‘obvious’ flirting going on between Buffy and Spike and the more he thought about it, the more he wanted to ram a pointy stick into the blonde vampire.



He should have known this would happen, he kept telling himself. Buffy was to driven by her emotions to think rationally. She had been this way since her return from the grave. She ‘always’ went along with what everyone around her did or said and he was sure it didn’t take much for Spike to convince her that his feelings for her were ‘real’.



Opening the door to the store and slamming it shut, he was breathing heavily as he stomped into the lower section, his eyes darting around the room. “Where’s Giles?” he asked angrily, looking over at Anya.



“He went home, what’s wrong?” Anya asked coming out from behind the counter, seeing the look on Xander’s face.



“Oh, nothing much….just Buffy has gone completely crazy!”



“Crazy? What happened?”



Xander laughed, shaking his head as he started pacing the room. “Ask me where I found her! No, better yet, ask me ‘who’ she was with WHEN I found her!” He yelled, “NO, how about …ask me what I saw….”



“Xander!” Anya yelled, her eyes wide as she watched her fiancé rant like a crazy person in front of her eyes. “Calm down and tell me what happened.”





~*~*~*~*~





“What the hell was that?!” Buffy half yelled and sputtered as she sat up slowly, bringing her hands up and trying to wipe the thick yellow slim that was running down her face away.



Spike smiled as he turned to her, seeing her sitting on the ground, wiping her face and spiting out the demon slime as it slide down her face. “That was a Bworkthan demon.”



“A bora who?” Buffy asked, trying to wipe her hands off, only to encounter more of the foul smelling demon slime before she sighed and looked up at Spike. “What are you smiling at?”



“You.” Spike said chuckling slightly as he slowly walked over to where Buffy was sitting and held his hand out for her. “I told you to duck, remember?”



Buffy rolled her eyes before reaching out and grabbing his hand, letting him help her up. “Yes, but you didn’t say he was going to explode when you beheaded him!”



“You didn’t ask, and I don’t think we had time to discuss it before he killed us.”



“I know, but this stuff really reeks.” Buffy whined as she looked down at herself, seeing the yellow slime coating her body. “I’ll never get this smell out.” She said, wiping at her face with the back of her hand.



Spike laughed, shaking his head before shrugging his duster off and pulling the long sleeve pullover he had on over his t-shirt off. “Not my fault you don’t listen, now hold still.” Spike said as he brought the shirt up, wiping the sludge off of Buffy’s face.



Buffy closed her eyes as Spike tried to remove as much of the demon goo as he could and she couldn’t help but inhale deeply as Spike’s scent suddenly surrounded her. She had never really paid much attention before, but now that his shirt was gently running across her face, she could smell a mixture of leather, cigarette smoke and something she was sure was distinctively Spike.



Spike smiled to himself the minute he heard Buffy’s heartbeat pick up its tempo and knew he wasn’t imagining what he had been thinking all evening. She had laughed and seemed to be enjoying his company as much as he was enjoying hers. When they weren’t staking fledglings or killing the occasional demons they ran across, they walked and talked, something he didn’t ever see himself doing with her. It wasn’t like they were discussing anything life altering, but it was just friendly conversation and Spike didn’t think he had had a better night in more years than he could remember.



Buffy knew Spike could hear her heart pounding in her chest but no matter what she tried to think about to try and calm it, she couldn’t seem to let go of the fact that he was standing so close to her or the fact the he had one hand cupped around the side of her neck. His hand was cool against her flesh and Buffy was finding it more difficult to concentrate as the minutes passed by. She still couldn’t understand where the sudden emergence of feelings towards Spike came from but wasn’t in any place to diagnose them at the moment.



Opening her eyes up, Buffy looked up as Spike ran the soft cloth over her lips, wiping the remaining traces of slimy fluid from her face and she was almost completely breathless as she watched him. It felt as if he were drinking her in as his eyes followed the path his shirt made over her face and she unconsciously leaned forward as Spike’s eyes finally lifted up to meet hers. They both stood there, staring at each other and Buffy swallowed hard as her mouth went suddenly dry at the sight of Spike’s eyes darkening to almost the color of night as she stared up at him.



Spike wondered what she was thinking as he stared down at her and the almost insane idea that she wanted him as much as he wanted her flitted through his mind, as the look in her eyes as she stare up at him gave him the small crumb he had been after since the disastrous night he had chained her up and professed his love for her and he wasn’t about to loose another opportunity.



Buffy knew it was coming before he even lowered his head and knew that ‘anything’ that stopped it this time would die painfully by her hands as she tilted her head up, silently giving him the signal that she wanted this as much as he did.



Spike felt all the unneeded air leave his body when Buffy leaned up and a ghost of a smile played across his lips as he lowered his head. He wasn’t sure when his eyes closed, but all he could think of at that moment was that if he didn’t live to see another day he would die happy knowing he had one brief moment of bliss as he finally made contact with her.



Buffy almost gasped as she felt the coolness of his lips softly cover hers and it felt like her body had melted on contact. How her lips seemed to be set ablaze by the soft, cool wisp of feather light touches was beyond her but she felt her entire body go numb as Spike’s arm slipped around her waist and pulled her closer to him.



It was unlike anything she had ever felt before. The cool brush of air that passed over her lips and the almost burning sensations on her neck as Spike’s hand moved its way up the column of her neck to rest just under her jaw made her dizzy. She leaned in, wanting to feel him against her and she heard a soft moan escape his throat when she felt the hardness of his chest pressing against her.



The kiss was slow and almost chaste as their lips softly played against each other, small movements that held promise of things to come and Buffy was disappointed when it was over quicker than she wanted. Opening her eyes, she looked up, seeing the dazed look in Spike’s eyes and wondered why he had stopped.



“What’s wrong?” Buffy asked shyly, almost scared to hear why he had broken the kiss.



“Nothing.” Spike said quietly, staring down at her. He wanted nothing more than to completely devour her, to taste her the way he had wanted to since he first realized he was in love with her but fought against the urge to do so. He had made it this far and wasn’t about to mess it up now by pushing.



The small lapse of time and the fact that Spike had ended the kiss before taking the time to do more than brush his lips with hers had Buffy’s insecurities in overdrive as she looked up at him. *I thought he wanted this* she said to herself, glancing away from the stormy blue eyes as her fears and self doubt once again poured over her.



Spike smiled, knowing what she was thinking when she looked away before he gently stroked the side of her face with his thumb. “You smell.” He said quietly, his smile widening as Buffy’s head shot up.



“I what?”



“You smell.” Spike said again, raising a scarred eyebrow at her as he looked down at her. “I think I like the normal smelling Buffy as opposed to the demon gore smelling one.”



Buffy’s mouth opened as her eyes widened slightly as she looked up at him. “You stopped kissing me because….I SMELL?” she asked incredulously.



Spike chuckled lightly, the look on her face making it difficult not to. “Well, does make it difficult to concentrate when you smell like something just died.”



Buffy felt her face heat up and for once it wasn’t the usual blush creeping its way up her neck but the all to familiar frustrated anger she normally felt around him. “You pig.” She said loudly, bringing her hands up and pushing him away from her before she turned and stomped off, leaving him standing there. She couldn’t explain the pain in her chest or the reason for the blinding sting in her eyes as she walked away. *He stopped kissing me because I SMELL* she kept repeating to herself as she quickened her steps, trying desperately to get away before the flood of tears she felt pooling in her eyes fell forward.



Spike clenched his jaw as he reached down, snatching up his duster and slipping it back on before he took off after her. He sighed heavily, cursing himself for being the stupid git he had just been and wondered if he would ‘ever’ get it right. He hadn’t meant to hurt her feelings, but didn’t feel like explaining the fact that he had been ‘scared’ for the brief moments the kiss had lasted and the obvious stench she was carrying seemed like an easy out. Apparently he was wrong…..yet again.



Quickening his steps he saw her just as she neared the entrance of the graveyard. He could tell by the way she was walking she was mad and knew he had blown his chance. “Buffy wait up!”



Buffy felt the mixed desire to run like her life depended on it, or turn back to him when she heard him call her name, but her stubborn side had her legs widening their stretch and walking faster. Her arms were swinging wildly at her side and she could almost hear her heart thumping in her chest as her adrenaline from her anger and the sudden disappointment of the kiss she had been wanting for days had her breathing erratic as she neared the cemetery gates.



Straightening her back and lifting her head, Buffy marched towards the entrance, determined to put the whole night behind her but gasped loudly when she was grabbed around the waist and turned.



“Not so fast princess, I’m not through with you.” Spike said as he pulled her tightly up against him and lowered his head, catching her lips in a bruising kiss.



Buffy went completely weak kneed as Spike crushed her body against his and leaned down, crushing his mouth to hers. She barely even registered that the loud moan she had heard came from her own throat as she felt the cool sweep of Spike’s tongue slide across her lips before she opened her mouth.



It was like the fourth of July as bright lights and ear popping bangs sent Buffy’s world collapsing in on itself. She was glad Spike’s arms were wrapped tightly around her as her legs seemed to turn to jell-o and her entire body hummed with electricity as Spike invaded her mouth. It was a battle she knew neither would win as their tongues fought and battled against the other.



Bringing her arms up, Buffy wrapped them tightly around his neck, clinging to him like he was the only thing grounding her to the earth and she inhaled deeply, gathering up his scent as she tasted him. He was fire and ice, death and creation and she knew she was forever lost. Never had she been kissed so passionately and the tingling sensations coursing through her body had her desperate to submerge her entire being in him and never come up for air.



Spike knew she needed to breathe and reluctantly pulled back, his own unneeded breath catching in his throat as Buffy opened her eyes and gasped for air. She was heaving in large amounts of air, as she stared up at him and he smiled as he raised his hand, bringing it up and brushing her hair away from her face.



“I didn’t mean what I said back there.” Spike told her softly as he brought his hand to rest on her cheek.



“Yes you did.” Buffy told him smiling, her anger at him completely gone.



Spike chuckled slightly as he stare down at her before finally noticing what a mess she was. Her hair was plastered to her head, long strings of blonde coated in yellow goo and he didn’t think she had ever looked so beautiful, especially seeing how she had a smile on her face that lit up her eyes and it was directed at him and because of him.



“I love you Buffy.” Spike said and was almost wishing he could have taken it back the minute it slipped from his lips. He hadn’t told her since before she took the dive from Glory’s tower, but in that instant, he needed to her know that she would always be the most important thing to him.



Buffy smiled, seeing the small flicker of doubt and fear that always took over his face anytime he said those words to her and for the first time since she had heard him say it, she welcomed the sound of it. “I know you do Spike.”



It felt like a weight had been lifted off of both of them as Buffy finally admitted that his feelings for her were real and not some mixed up delusion that he had created. It felt good to say it and not have harsh words follow it and the warm feeling that overtook Buffy’s body as the words slowly sang through her head had her knowing that she would miss them if she never heard them uttered from his lips again.



Spike leaned down, brushing his lips across hers, closing his eyes as he felt the light sting from tears he was determined not to shed. Knowing she believed him was enough for him, even if she never felt the same, knowing that she accepted his feeling as real was enough.



Buffy smiled happily as the light coaxing kiss ended as she opened her eyes, sighing lightly as Spike smiled down at her. “So, what now?”



“Depends.”



“On what?” Buffy asked, feeling relaxed for the first time in longer than she could remember as Spike leaned forward, laying his forehead against hers and wrapping his arms around her tighter.



“Oh what you want.”



“And what if I don’t know what I want?”



“I’ve got all the time in the world Buffy, I’m not going anywhere.” Spike told her smiling.



Buffy smiled back at him and knew he wouldn’t. If all the beatings and constant screaming never drove him away, she knew he wouldn’t leave now, not after giving him the ‘crumb’ he had asked for so long again. “Well, I guess you can start by walking me home.” She told him, “I promised Dawn I would come home early and have that talk she’s wanted to have.”



“Alright, I can do that.” Spike said, pulling back away from her and instantly missing the heat from her body.



Buffy smiled, despite missing the comfort she had felt in his arms and grabbed his hand, linking their fingers together as they turned and headed out of the graveyard. She sighed contently, glancing over at him as they headed for her house and she prayed that things would finally start looking up for her. She had a man who loved her and even though he wasn’t the quintessential ‘boyfriend’ she had imagined she would find, he was there none the less and at the moment…..he made her feel grateful that she was alive.
Five by Zarrah
Chapter Five


By the time Buffy and Spike reached Revello Drive, they were both walking so slowly it was a wonder they even made it at all. Small glances between the two had been shared along with tiny smiles and Buffy was amazed to find that Spike’s hand had warmed as he held hers.



She knew he could hear her heart pounding in her chest, but no matter what she did, it continued to hammer away. Being nervous around Spike wasn’t something she thought would ever happen, but here she was, holding his hand and feeling like some love-struck teenager with her first crush.





Finally seeing the house, Buffy felt Spike’s grip on her hand loosen before he dropped it and stopped. “Well, here you are, Slayer. Don’t think your scoobies will understand if I walk you to the door,” Spike said, smiling. “Not that I don’t want to.”



“Well, they might find it strange, but this is the Hellmouth,” she said, smiling before looking toward the house. “Do you wanna come in for a while?” She asked him softly.



Spike couldn’t contain his smile as he glanced at the house then back over to her. “You sure?” He asked.



“Well, I’m not so sure I want them to know about us yet,” she said, smiling that she had referred to them as an ‘us’, “but I can’t see any reason why you can’t come in.”



Spike studied her for a few seconds, seeing the almost shy smile cover her face as she shifted her weight on her feet and looked at anything but him. He grinned, hearing her heart race in her chest before taking a step toward her. “Alright then,” Spike said, a smile escaping him when Buffy smiled brightly at him before she turned to the house and started walking.



It was like some dream he had had and never thought would come true as Buffy bounced up the porch steps, turning her head to smile at him before she made it to the door. She looked happy, something he hadn’t seen on her since before the Glory ordeal.



“What in the world happened to you?” Dawn asked loudly as Buffy entered the house, with Spike following closely behind.



“A Bora-something demon,” Buffy told her, smiling.



“A Bworkthan demon,” Spike corrected, grinning as he shut the door.



“Ugh, you reek,” Dawn said, covering her nose with her hand as Buffy passed her.



“Yeah, I kinda got that already,” she said, smiling as she glanced back at Spike. “I’m gonna go shower. Be right back,” she told them before darting up the steps.



Spike watched her run up the steps, trying to hold back the huge smile threatening to cover his face at the fact that she had asked him in. He didn’t think anything in the past several years, with the exception of the “Little Buffy” episode, even came close to how happy he felt right now.



“So, wanna see something beyond cute?” Dawn asked, grinning as she turned to Spike.



~*~*~*~





Buffy finally emerged from upstairs, making her way into the kitchen where she could hear the sounds of laughter. She smiled as she rounded the corner before walking over to where Spike, Willow and Dawn sat around the bar, before peering over Dawn’s shoulder to see what they were looking at.



“Oh my god,” Buffy said wide-eyed before she reached out and snatched the picture Dawn was holding out of her hand.



“You were so cute Buffy,” Dawn said as she looked at another picture of little Buffy. “I can’t believe this was only a week ago.”



“Me either,” Buffy said quietly before she grabbed a few more of the pictures. They were all of her, most of them while she sat coloring or playing with the dolls Buffy remembered Willow buying for her. The activities weren’t what really caught her attention. It was who was there with her. In every picture, Spike was also there.



A huge smile covered Buffy’s face as she looked at the pictures. The sight of Spike sitting on the floor coloring with her caused a flutter in her stomach to swim across her entire body before she reached out and grabbed more of the pictures.



Every one of them featured the blonde vampire, and Buffy couldn’t help but smile as she looked at the pictures. She could see how happy she looked in the pictures and the look on Spike’s face caused her heart to do that fluttering thing she had trouble controlling lately.



“Oh, now how cute is that?” Dawn asked giggling. “Look Buffy.”



When Buffy tore her eyes away from the small stack of pictures she was holding and looked up to see what Dawn had found and she couldn’t help but grin. There was Spike, lying asleep on the couch with Buffy’s little body curled around him. She took the picture from Dawn, smiling as she looked at it before she looked up. “This one just might ruin your reputation, Big Bad,” Buffy said, grinning as she looked up at Spike.



“Like it isn’t already,” Spike said with a grin as he stood and walked around the bar and looked at the picture she was holding. “Bloody hell, you actually took a picture of that!”





“Yeah, you two looked so cute,” Dawn said, grinning at the expression on his face. “I wish you could have seen Spike’s face, Buffy, when I woke him up and he saw you. I think he actually blushed.”



Buffy laughed quietly as she glanced at Spike before she scanned back through the pictures. “Well they say a picture’s worth a thousand words,” she said, smiling as she placed the pictures back down on the counter. “It’s not too hard to figure out what these are saying.”



Dawn smiled as she watched the smiles being exchanged between Buffy and Spike before grabbing up all the photos. She knew Xander would probably destroy them, or at least cut Spike out of them, if she didn’t keep them safe.



Walking into the living room, Dawn smiled as she saw Spike’s duster hanging by the door. Scanning quickly through the pictures, she smiled as she found the one that had caused his smile to brighten before tucking it safely into the inner pocket of his coat.





~*~*~*~



Xander was at the Magic Box bright and early the next morning, almost bouncing on his feet as he waited for Anya to open the door. He just knew Giles would be able to do something to restore Buffy to her usual self; that is once they realized what was wrong with her.



He was convinced something went wrong with the spell. There was no rational reason under the sun for Buffy to actually be nice to Spike. Something had to have gone wrong.



“Would you stop that,” Anya said as she finally got the door unlocked and stepped inside. “All this shuffling around is starting to get on my nerves.”



“Can’t help it,” Xander said as he quickly walked in and started for the ladder. “Now which book was the spell in again?” He asked as he headed up into the loft.



“Xander, aren’t you taking this a bit far?”



“What?” He asked. “You didn’t see her last night. It was…creepy.”



“What was she doing exactly? Laughing was it?”



“Morning,” Giles said as he entered the store and smiled at Anya.



“Giles! Thank goodness. Will you please calm Xander down,” Anya said before looking up to the loft where Xander was rummaging through the spell books. “He’s driving me crazy!”



“Better you than me,” Giles mumbled under his breath. “What seems to be the problem?”



“He thinks Buffy came back wrong.”



“Really?” Giles said, his interest piqued. “How so?”



“Oh, get this,” Anya said sarcastically. “She was laughing,” she added before looking up at Xander and rolling her eyes slightly.



“Sorry,” Giles said as he removed his glasses. “I don’t follow.”



“Oh, you will,” Xander said as he turned and started back down the ladder. “You might want to sit down because this may take a while to comprehend.”



~*~*~*~



Buffy was staring into her closet, looking at all her clothes that hung there as another sigh escaped her. She had been standing there for over fifteen minutes staring at her clothes and wishing all the while that she hadn’t been cornered into going out with the gang.



She didn’t know why she couldn’t tell them no. The whole time they were asking her, her mind was screaming no, don’t do it! But the minute the question had been asked, her voice had betrayed her and said yes.



Her mind had been on Spike all day and she found that she was looking forward to seeing him. She had lain awake most of the night with her mind replaying the events of earlier for her. She couldn’t suppress the smile that tugged at her lips every time she thought of the kiss, or how the small flutter of butterflies took flight in her stomach as she thought about him.



He had stayed late the night before after Dawn practically begged him, and the movie Dawn had insisted they watch had barely even been seen as she and Spike both had trouble watching it. Small, stolen glances cast between the two went unnoticed by Dawn or Willow, and as much as Buffy wanted to keep their little secret secret, the desire for her feelings toward him to be out in the open were enormous as she wanted nothing more than curl up with him as they watched the movie.



Now, as she tried to pick an outfit to wear to the bronze, the only thing she could think of was what would Spike think when she didn’t show up for patrol. She had already made plans to meet him and now, when she didn’t show, he’d definitely get the wrong idea.



“Are you going to pick something or just stand there hoping something will jump out at you?” Dawn asked, smiling.



“I don’t have anything to wear,” Buffy almost whined.



Dawn rolled her eyes, shaking her head before walking to Buffy’s closet. “You have more clothes than any one person needs,” she said, reaching in and grabbing the red leather pants she secretly hoped Buffy would let her wear soon. “Wear this.”



Buffy scrunched up her nose, not in the mood for tight leather before shaking her head. “No, not those,” she said. “Why didn’t I just say ‘no’ when Xander pressured me into this?”



“You don’t want to go?” Dawn asked, confused. “But you always preferred Bronzing to patrol. What’s so great about patrol now that wasn’t there a week ago?” Dawn asked before slowly grinning as she thought about the question and a small giggle escaped her.



“What’s so funny?” Buffy asked when she heard Dawn laugh.



“Is there something you need to tell me?” Dawn asked her.



“No,” Buffy said as she looked over at her. “Like what?”



“You think I’m completely blind, don’t you?” Dawn asked, still smiling as she replaced the red pants back into the closet.



“Dawn, what are you talking about?” Buffy asked her, confused.



“Oh, I don’t know,” Dawn said, hiding her smile. “How about all the late night, extended patrols? The goofy smile that’s always on your face now and the fact that you allowed Spike to stay last night, not to mention the fact that you invited him to begin with.”



Buffy’s eyes were slightly widening as Dawn talked, knowing her sister had to be picking up on something. Surely she hadn’t figured out anything, especially seeing how last night had been the first time anything between her and Spike had actually happened.



“It’s okay, you know,” Dawn said, seeing the fear cross her sister’s face. “I mean, sure it’ll be hard for the others to accept, but I think it’s great,” she added with a huge smile. “Spike loves you and I think it’s great that you can finally see that.”



Buffy was in shock as she numbly sat down on the bed and stared at Dawn. Had it been that obvious or was Dawn just playing a guessing game? “Dawn, what are you talking about?” She said, trying to see what her little sister was getting at.



Dawn grinned, shaking her head before sitting down beside Buffy. “I’m talking about you and Spike,” she said, looking happier than Buffy had seen her in a while. “I think it’s great.”



“You think what’s great?” Buffy asked hesitantly.



“You and Spike being together, of course!”



Buffy went wide-eyed, clamping her hand over Dawn’s mouth as she blurted out her response. “Geez Dawn, tell the whole world why don’t you,” she said, shocked.



“So it’s true then?” Dawn mumbled before removing Buffy’s hand from her mouth.



“Well…um, it’s…complicated,” Buffy finally stuttered out, looking at anything beside her sister.



“And what’s so complicated about it?” Dawn asked as she stood back up. “He likes you, you obviously like him now. Seems pretty simple to me,” she added as she rummaged through Buffy’s closet again.



Buffy sighed heavily, looking at her sister before standing back up. “It’s not that simple Dawn, and you know it,” she told her as she started helping her sister look through her clothes. “There isn’t one of the gang, besides you, that has ever seen Spike for anything other than a monster, me included until last week. They’re not going to just accept him.”



“Well then, we’ll make them see what we do,” Dawn said, smiling. “How hard can it be?”





~*~*~*~





“Absolutely not!” Xander practically screamed as Dawn mentioned asking Spike to the Bronze with them. “I want to go have a good time and the child-manipulating, evil undead isn’t a part of that!”



“This is just for Buffy, Dawnie,” Willow said, trying to calm the tension that suddenly surrounded them.



“So, Buffy doesn’t want Spike excluded,” Dawn told them, crossing her arms over her chest. “And who, just last night may I add, fixed Spike hot cocoa?”



Willow looked sheepishly at Xander as he suddenly sounded like he was choking before she smiled as Buffy came down the steps. “Look! Buffy’s ready. Ready for the Bronze,” she said excitedly. “Better be going now,” Willow practically shouted as she hurried to the door and sprinted out.



“He was here last night?” Xander asked, shocked. “And had cocoa?”



“Yes, he was and did,” Buffy said, staring at Xander as she came down the steps.



“Buffy, I’m not liking this,” Xander told her as she stopped at the bottom of the steps.



Buffy felt her insides churn at the look on Xander’s face before she looked away. “Let’s just go, okay?” She said quietly, knowing that no matter how much she wanted Spike to go with them, arguing over it wasn’t worth it.



Xander stared at her as she walked out the door. He sighed heavily as he saw what he thought was a small pout on her face and her head hanging slightly low. Great, just great, he thought to himself as he followed Buffy and Dawn out before shutting the door.





~*~*~*~





Buffy forced a smile on her face as Xander told what he thought was another humorous joke. They had been there for over an hour and Buffy had to make herself act as if nothing was wrong.



The others were having a good time and even though she had a smile on her face most of the time, she couldn’t help but feel like running for the door every time one of them asked her if she was enjoying herself.



Truth be told, she was miserable. She had looked at her watch what seemed like a thousand times and she prayed for the night to end quickly. Sighing softly, she smiled as Willow and Dawn stood and asked her to dance with them.



“You go ahead, think I’ll sit this one out,” she told them with a smile.



“Come on Buff,” Xander said as he stood with Anya. “We came to dance and cut loose.”



Buffy laughed quietly, shaking her head as she looked at him. “No, go ahead,” she told him. “I think I’ll just go refresh my drink.”



Xander watched her stand and turn toward the bar before shaking his head. “I don’t get it,” he said as he stared at her. “She acts like there’s a hundred places she’d rather be than here.”



“Maybe she’s just tired,” Anya said before grabbing his arm and dragging him to the dance floor.



Buffy stood by the bar, waiting for the bartender to notice her as she looked around. The place was packed. She remembered now why they didn’t Bronze it on Saturdays much any more as it seemed like the whole town showed up.



“Care to dance?”



Buffy’s heart felt like it slammed against her chest as the rich, deep voice sung through her body. A huge smile covered her face before she turned her head to the side. “What are you doing here?” she asked as she saw Spike smiling at her.



“What? Not happy to see me?” He asked with a grin.



“I didn’t say that,” she told him softly.



Spike stared at her for a minute before his smile widened. She was looking at him with a huge smile covering her face and his urge to just lean down and kiss her was overwhelming. “Well I waited by the cemetery gates and when you didn’t show, I went looking for you.”



“Sorry,” Buffy said softly. “The gang wanted to ‘show me a good time’, as they put it.”



“And you don’t think I could have done that?” Spike asked as his eyes roamed over her body.



Buffy felt her face flush at Spike’s question. The way he was looking at her and the tone of his voice when he asked her let her know he meant more than the occasional dance and adult beverage.



“Not sure. What did you have in mind?” Buffy asked suggestively and barely had time to sit her empty cup down before Spike grabbed her around the waist and pulled her through the crowd of people standing around the bar. Her blood was racing in her veins and as they ended up in a darkened corner, she barely even had time to catch a breath before his lips were on hers.



Her eyes widened in response, only to close a second later as she felt his tongue probe her closed lips before he pushed past them. A small moan escaped her before she felt her knees go weak and she slumped against him.



She didn’t even have a name for what he was making her feel. It was every bit as exciting as the first kiss they had shared the night before, but this time she knew they could be caught any minute by her friends. As his arms tightened around her waist, the adrenaline rush of the situation heightened the excitement of it all before she wrapped her arms around his neck and gave as good as she was getting.







“Okay, now where did she go?” Xander asked as he and Anya made their way back to the table.



“Xander, will you please chill out?” Anya told him. “She probably just went to the bathroom or something.”



“Yeah, you’re probably right,” he said, taking his seat and looking around the club.



Anya watched him out of the corner of her eye as he scanned the club and tapped his fingers on the table. She exhaled loudly, wondering what the sudden obsession with Buffy was all about. The gang wanted her happy again and from what she had seen that was what she was.



Xander was still searching the club for Buffy. She hadn’t acted right all evening. No matter what the others thought, he knew the smile on Buffy’s face was fake. He had known her long enough to know her facial expressions and the fact that she was suddenly missing made him wonder just where she had gone.



“I’ll be right back,” Xander said as he stood and walked away from the table.



Anya shook her head, watching him walk away before looking out at Willow. The whole evening was beginning to become a total drag. Between Xander’s obsession with Buffy and the overcrowded bar, the entire night was turning into a complete disaster.



Xander had walked the entire bar, even giving two sweeps of the upper floor and still no sign of Buffy. The ladies room was the only place he hadn’t checked and, seeing the long line at the door, he figured that was where she had to have been. Making his way around a group of teens, he squeezed between the wall and an overly large jock before his eyes spotted the shockingly white peroxide locks of the creature he loathed most in the world.



Stopping, he tried to focus his eyes in the darkened room and as his vision cleared enough to see into the corner where Spike was standing, his eyes widened when he saw the two, clearly feminine arms around his neck. “Now that is just…ewww,” he said quietly to himself as he watched Spike and someone, he figured, apparently more desperate than him, make out. Shaking his head, he started walking again and glanced back over to Spike as he rounded the corner and froze dead in his tracks.



With wide eyes, Xander stared at the girl that was wrapped around Spike. The bright smile, the sparkle in her eyes and most importantly, the face of his friend stood there smiling up at Spike. “Oh god,” he whispered out in horror. “Please let that be the Buffybot.”
Six by Zarrah
Chapter Six


“Oh god, please let that be the Buffybot.”



Xander stood in shock, watching as Buffy pulled away from Spike and smiled up at him. He blinked repeatedly, hoping that what he was seeing wasn’t real, but when the crowd around the couple thinned out and Buffy leaned up to initiate another kiss, Xander could see the light pink blouse Buffy had been wearing.



Anger surged through him at the sight and, fighting for control of it, he darted through the crowd toward them.



Buffy finally pulled away from Spike, gasping for much needed air. She thought the kiss in the cemetery was mind-blowing but judging from the one she just received, it paled in comparison.



She had been thoroughly shocked when Spike approached her at the bar and, to be honest, she was thrilled beyond belief he had shown up. She hadn’t been able to think of much else other than him and now the excitement of stolen kisses while her friends were on the other side of the room was exhilarating, not to mention Spike himself. Just looking at him made the butterflies in her stomach swim and the fluttering of her heart made her almost dizzy.



Spike smiled as he watched her. Her eyes were still half closed and she was panting for breath and he couldn’t help but delight in the look on her face, knowing he was the reason it was there.



The noise in the club was bouncing off the walls and the mass of people crammed into the place made the air thick as people were practically bumping into each other. Spike didn’t think he had ever seen it so crowded and as someone’s elbow landed in his back, he turned his head. That’s when he saw him. Charging straight ahead and the look on his face was far from the normal goofy calm that usually resided there.



“Time to fly kitten,” Spike said quickly as he grabbed Buffy’s arm and started dragging her away.



Buffy had barely gotten her eyes open when Spike grabbed her and started weaving through the crowd. She wasn’t sure what was going on until she heard her name being called and turned her head. “Shit,” she hissed out, seeing a very red-faced Xander pushing his way through the crowd.



Spike maneuvered them through the crowd, pushing his way through the mass of teens and toward the stairs to the catwalk. Clearing the way was easy and the loud protests of the other patrons were ignored as Spike ushered Buffy up the stairs and into the darkened upper level.



Xander stopped, scanning the area and cursing to himself after losing sight of Buffy and Spike. He turned in complete circles, searching for the couple and with a final curse; he turned and hurried back to the table.



“I think we lost him,” Spike said quietly as he peered down over the railing and watched Xander make his way back through the crowd. He sighed heavily before turning to face Buffy and knew he had probably blown any chance with her by being so careless as she stood there nervously chewing on her bottom lip.



“Is he gone?” Buffy asked, glancing over the rail before looking up at Spike.



“Yeah, went back to the table I think,” he told her, giving her a tiny smile.



Buffy let out a long breath, lowering her head and scrubbing her hands over her face before looking back up. Spike was standing there looking at his feet and she couldn’t help but smile. “I guess that’ll give him nightmares, huh?” She asked, smiling.



Spike looked up, giving her a tight smile before shoving his hands in his pockets. “Yeah, probably so,” he said before taking a step back away from her and moving further into the shadows. “Guess I shouldn’t have been so impatient and waited to get you along.”



Buffy grinned as Spike leaned his head to the side and looked at her. The forced smile on his face gave way to the real thing as she took a step toward him, placing her hands on his chest and pushing him back into the darkened corner. “I kind of like you impatient,” she said, smiling bigger before she leaned up and brushed her lips across his. “Takes all the fun out if you’re predictable.”



Spike smiled against her lips, wondering who this girl was, before pulling his hands from his pockets and wrapping them around her. He knew he must be dreaming as he looked down at Buffy and saw the sparkle in her eyes as she continued to lightly kiss him. His hold on her tightened as he felt her tongue glide across his bottom lip and as he opened his mouth, a small moan escaped him as Buffy deepened the kiss.



~*~



“Anya!” Xander yelled as he finally made his way back to the table and grabbed his girlfriend’s arm and turned her to face him. “Come on.”



Anya gasped loudly as Xander dragged her from her chair and started pulling her through the crowd. “Xander, what are you doing?”



“I’m going to prove to you that I’m not crazy,” he shouted as he walked back to the corner where he had seen Buffy and Spike.



“Well you’re doing a real good job at it,” Anya said as Xander dragged her through the club. “’Cause this doesn’t seem crazy a bit.”



“I saw them,” Xander told them, stopping where he had seen the couple. “I saw them, here in this corner, kissing.”



“Who?” Anya asked as she looked up at him.



“Buffy and that…that thing!”



Anya stared up at him, watching him with slightly wide eyes before she looked around her. “Spike and Buffy? Our Buffy. Kissing Spike?”



“Yes!”



“Okay Xander,” Anya said, taking a deep breath. “Are you sure you saw Buffy?”



“Dammit Anya!” Xander yelled. “I told you something was going on with those two and now I know for sure. I saw them, right here, making with the lip lock.”



“Okay, okay. Calm down,” Anya told him. “If you say you saw something then I believe you.”



“Well, it’s about time you did,” Xander said, looking around. “He pulled her off in that direction.” He pointed to the stairs. “Let’s go see if we can find them.”



Anya was worried about Xander as they searched the club. She didn’t know what to make of him anymore. He was almost obsessed with the whole Buffy and Spike thing and she wondered what he would do if they found his tales to be true.



She had heard more stories about Buffy and Angel than she ever cared to know and the end results of that little tryst were disastrous. Would the same hold true if Buffy and Spike hooked up? And denying Buffy of something she wanted wasn’t exactly their place…was it?



“Hey guys. Where’s the fire?” Buffy asked, smiling as she stepped in front of Anya and Xander.



“Buffy!” Xander yelled over the roar of the music. “Have you gone completely insane?”



Buffy’s eyes widened slightly before she shook her head and answered him. “Um, I don’t think so. Why?”



“Why?” Xander laughed.



Anya watched the exchange before her eyes landed on Buffy. She seemed completely calm for someone who had been caught in the act. A tiny smile graced Buffy’s face as she stared at Xander while he launched into speech number fifty-seven about the evils of Spike, and Anya had to wonder if Xander hadn’t imagined the whole thing.



“Um, in the bathroom, if you must know,” Buffy lied as she stared at Xander. “Have you seen the line in there?”



Xander let out a bitter chuckle as he shook his head. He glanced over at Anya, pointing to Buffy before widening his eyes, silently asking her for her help.



“Yes, I’ve seen the lines,” Anya said, smiling. “I’ve never understood why this place doesn’t do something about it.”



Xander’s mouth gaped open as he looked at Anya and the bright smile she was wearing as she looked at Buffy, before he glanced over at his friend. He couldn’t believe this was happening. He knew what he saw, and no matter what Buffy told him, he knew she was lying.



Spike watched the whole scene play out before him and he smiled as he saw Buffy and Anya laugh together before they turned and walked away, leaving Xander standing there fish-mouthed. His eyes followed the blonde who only minutes before kissed him completely breathless, a small feat in itself, seeing how he didn’t need to breathe, before his smile widened.



As she sat down and picked up her drink, he sighed heavily, wishing he could be down there with her, sharing her laughs. The more he thought about it, the more his smile disappeared. He wondered if Buffy would ever tell her friends about them or if he would always be the secret she guarded like she did so many other things in her life.



As she looked up at him briefly, he couldn’t help but smile. He loved her and knew he would play this her way, even if that meant always existing in the shadows. She had finally given him the tiny crumb he had asked for. How could he ever ask for more?
Seven by Zarrah
Chapter 7








Buffy tossed and turned in her bed before she finally threw her covers back and sat up. She hadn't been able to sleep because her thoughts constantly drifted to Spike and what happened at the Bronze earlier that night. She felt almost bad for lying to Xander but at the same time her annoyance at having to hide Spike and whatever it was between them was eating her up inside.



She knew Spike wouldn't say anything to any of her friends about what was happening between them and that thought also saddened her. She didn't want to hide her feelings for him or not be able to act like a somewhat normal couple in public. Xander was her biggest fear. It was no secret that Xander hated Spike with an unhealthy passion. The rest of the gang's reaction, although not quite as verbal as Xander's, wasn't much better. The looks of disgust aimed at Spike made Buffy's heart break, remembering that she had looked at him the same way not so very long ago. She still didn't understand what was going on as far as her feelings were concerned but something definitely had changed.



Standing, Buffy let out a long breath before walking across the room and opening her door. The occupants of the house were all sleeping and she walked quietly to the steps before going down. She made her way into the kitchen, opening the refrigerator and looking inside before sighing and leaning her head on the door as she stared at its contents.



"The food won't just jump out at you," Dawn said softly, smiling as Buffy jumped and slammed the door shut.



"Geez, don't do that," Buffy scolded. "You trying to give me a heart attack?"



"Sorry," Dawn smiled.



"It's okay," Buffy told her as she leaned back against the counter and stared at her sister. "What are you doing up anyway?"



"Couldn't sleep."



"Must be going around," Buffy commented.



"Seems so," Dawn told her as she walked to the island bar and sat down. "So, what's up? Why can't you sleep?"



"I just have a lot on my mind is all," Buffy told her before joining her at the island.



"Any of this happen to be about Spike?"



"Shh, keep your voice down," Buffy told her, glancing behind her to make sure Willow wasn't also up and about.



"Sorry. So, what's got you so worked up? Did something happen?" Dawn whispered.



Buffy laughed quietly before shaking her head. "Boy did it ever."



"Well, come on, spill," Dawn grinned.



Buffy looked over at Dawn and smiled as she stared at her. She wasn't sure how much she could trust Dawn to keep quiet about the Spike stuff but she desperately needed to talk to someone. She was getting more confused by the day. "You promise you won't mention this to another living soul?"



"I promise," Dawn beamed. "It'll be our little secret."



Buffy smiled back at Dawn, knowing she had ignored her little sister for months now. Maybe this was what they both needed, a little bonding time - and nothing brought sisters closer than talk of boys and secrets.




~*~*~*~



Buffy made her way into the Magic Box and smiled as Anya greeted her before making her way to the table and sitting down. She had talked to Dawn for over an hour the night before and everyone's concern over her missing the meetings was enough for her to show up. No matter how much she wanted to run to Spike's crypt, she couldn't let mindless mistakes draw more suspicion onto her and Spike's doings. As the others slowly made their way inside, she swallowed heavily as Xander practically stared a hole through her head.



"Well, look who decided to make the meeting," Xander said sarcastically as he took a seat.



Buffy just stared at him and she didn't know whether to be mad or hurt by his tone of voice. Who did he think he was anyway? He was living with an ex-demon. What made him any better than her?



"Xander, remember what I told you?" Anya asked angrily from her spot behind the counter.



Xander glanced over at Anya before sighing heavily and leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms over his chest. Sure the prospects of no sex were a little disconcerting, but letting Buffy carry on with Spike was unacceptable. He knew what he saw and no matter how many times Anya told him he imagined it, he knew he hadn't. He had seen Buffy and Spike kissing. Something was definitely wrong with her and he was going to find out what.



The meeting was uneventful and Buffy had to force herself not to yawn as the conversation drew lengthy. She was itching to get out of there but wasn't about to end things to quickly in fear of sending Xander off in another overly dramatic rant. After running through every excuse she had, Buffy finally managed to escape alone for patrol. She couldn't believe how much Xander had persisted he accompany her. She hadn't had the gangs help in ages. Why would she need it now?



Making her way quickly down the sidewalk, Buffy's mind was on one thing and one thing only. Finding Spike. She walked quickly across town to where she knew he was waiting for her. As the graveyard came into view she smiled before she broke out into a slight jog. Of course things never worked the way she planned. As she made her way inside the cemetery gates a distant scream sent her running to the rescue of another unlucky victim.




~*~*~*~



It didn't take him long to find her and Spike smiled as he saw Buffy crossing the graveyard. His steps quickened and the closer he got to her the stronger her scent became. It wasn't the usual scent he associated with her but her blood. He was running before he even saw her stagger.



Buffy saw him coming toward her and she smiled best she could before everything started to blur. He looked panicked and she tried to stay on her feet but as she blinked her eyes everything started to spin before it went black.



Spike caught her before her body hit the ground. He was breathing heavily, heaving in large amounts of unneeded air as he pulled her into his arms. "Buffy, luv, what happened?" He asked her as he laid her down. He realized she had passed out as he began to check her for injuries. There was a large gash down her right arm extending from her shoulder to her elbow. Scratches marred her face and the bright red spot that soaked the front of her shirt caused Spike to growl softly as he lifted the hem of her shirt. There was a large gash across her stomach and the sight of her blood forced him to fight back his demon.



Picking her up, Spike turned and practically ran back to his crypt. Kicking the door open he crossed the room and laid her on the sarcophagus before he turned and jumped down the opening to the lower level. He came back a few minutes later with his first aid supplies and clean water.



He ripped her shirt up the center and clenched his jaw as he saw all the blood she had spilled. He didn't know what had done this to her but he knew that if Buffy hadn't already killed it, that it would be sorry it had ever crossed her path when he found it.



He silently cleaned her wounds and was relieved to see that her injuries weren't as serious as he had initially thought. The smaller cuts had already closed and the two larger ones had stopped bleeding. He didn't realize how bad his hands were shaking until he tried to tape the bandage across the cut on her stomach. He stopped for a minute, taking deep breaths as he closed his eyes and tried to get a hold of his emotions. When he felt warmth cover the back of his hand, Spike opened his eyes and let out a breath as he saw Buffy looking at him.



He smiled at her before leaning down and kissing her. The bandages were forgotten as he ran his fingers through her hair and he inhaled deeply to take in her scent. He savored the taste of her, drinking her in like fine wine before pulling back so she could breathe. He covered her face with small kisses and when he felt her hand on the back of his head, he buried his face into and neck.



"I'm okay," Buffy said quietly as she held him to her. She could feel him shaking against her and she had felt the desperation in his kiss. The look on his face when she woke up told her everything he was feeling. She had never seen Spike scared but she knew he was now. The mere thought that her being injured had scared him made her smile as she closed her eyes and sighed.



Spike wasn't sure how long he awkwardly held her as she lay on the cold stone sarcophagus but giving her neck a small kiss he finally lifted his head and looked at her. "You okay?"



"Yeah," Buffy smiled. She watched him as he smiled at her before he stood up straight again and finished covering the wound on her stomach. Then started on her arm. He worked silently and she could still see the fear in his eyes. She couldn't help but smile as he tended to her. His touch was gentle and as he finished up and turned his eyes to her, she smiled. "Thank you."



"No need to thank me Buffy," Spike told her. "There isn't anything I wouldn't do for you."



Buffy knew at that moment as she looked at him that she would do everything in her power to get the gang to see him for who he really was. He wasn't the same demon who came into town boasting about how many kills he had made. He was a man. A man who loved her. She could see it in his actions, hear it in the sound of his voice and see it in the way he looked at her. He loved her no matter what.



Sitting up, Buffy smiled as Spike tried to get her to lie back down and she giggled as he growled at her for not listening. "Now don't go thinking you can boss me around just because I finally realized what a sweet guy you really are."



"Sweet?" Spike scowled. "'M not sweet slayer! Far from it. Big bad here, remember?"



"Oh yeah," Buffy laughed. "I remember."



Spike growled again before smiling as Buffy continued to laugh. He knew his threats were useless, not that they had ever worked before, but a guy had to believe something, right?



When a slight draft caused a chill to run up Buffy's spine, she looked down and her eyes widened before she quickly grabbed the sides of her torn shirt and held them together. She felt her face flame and her heart beat double-time in her chest before she saw Spike turn from her and jump down into the lower level.



She tried to get her breathing under control and her mind conjured up images of Spike looking at her in nothing but her bra. The thought made her already red face glow in the dim light of the darkened crypt. Hearing Spike coming back up the ladder, Buffy slid to the edge of the sarcophagus and put her free hand down to steady herself as she prepared to jump down.



"Hey, don't go hurting yourself," Spike told her as he made his way back to her. "Just stay put."



"I'm fine," Buffy told him as she leaned forward and tried to jump down.



"No you're not. Now don't move," Spike told her as he reached out and held her arm in an attempt to get her to stay put. He saw her holding her shirt together and sighed heavily before giving her a tiny smile. "I'm sorry about your shirt Buffy. I didn't mean to rip it all the way up. I just got a little anxious to stop the bleeding is all."



Buffy nodded her head and glanced up at him before she saw the white material he was holding in his hand. She smiled as he held it out to her.



"Not as nice as the lilac you had, but at least it's in one piece."



"Since when do you own anything that isn't black?" She smiled, trying to calm herself down as she took the shirt from him.



"Since my disastrous GAP phase," Spike grinned. "If I remember correctly, you weren't too impressed."



Buffy giggled slightly before shaking her head at him. "Turn around."



"Why? `S not like I haven't already seen it," Spike grinned.



Buffy tried desperately not to smile as he looked at her but failed. She felt her cheeks flush again before shaking her head. "Well you can't see it again until I'm ready for you to."



"So, that means I will, then?" Spike asked her as he took a step closer and positioned himself between her legs.



Buffy smiled as she looked at him before looking down as his hands slid to her waist. "Maybe," she said softly. "But not tonight."



"Tomorrow then?"



Another laugh from Buffy caused Spike to smile big before he leaned up and kissed her. He hated that she felt uncomfortable about being half-undressed in front of him and he really hadn't meant to rip her shirt as much as he had. To be honest he had barely even looked at her. His main concern was getting her patched up, not taking a peek at her half-clothed body. The more he thought about it, the more he wished he had paid more attention.



Buffy was the first to pull away from the kiss and she smiled as she looked at him. "Now turn around so I can change."



Spike sighed dramatically before turning his back to her and Buffy couldn't help but smile as she laid his shirt on her lap before slipping her old one off her shoulders. When the bloodied scrap of material hit the floor, she looked up as Spike turned his head to the side. "No peeking," she grinned as she grabbed his head and pushed it back the other direction.



"Taking all the fun out of everything," Spike mumbled with a huge grin as he crossed his arms over his chest.



Buffy groaned slightly as she lifted her arm and slipped it into the shirt before pulling it over her head. She smiled as the material slipped over her face and she was once again surrounded by Spike's scent. As she pulled the shirt into place, she sighed lightly before looking back up at him. "Okay, I'm finished. You can turn around now."



Spike smiled as he took a step toward her and when she reached out and her arms slid up around his neck his smile widened. "So, I guess patrolling isn't an option now, is it?"



"Nope," Buffy smiled.



"Guess you'll be going now?"



Buffy shook her head as she smiled before she leaned down and kissed him softly. "If you really want me to," she whispered against his lips.



"Not bloody likely," Spike smiled before he leaned up and deepened the kiss.
Eight by Zarrah
Chapter 8



"Xander, did you hear me?"



Xander finally looked up when Willow tapped him on the arm and he shook his head before straightening in his seat. "I don't get it."



"Get what?" Willow asked him confusedly.



"Buffy," Xander answered her. "I mean, we are always here for her. We've fought by her side since high school. We're her friends."



"Yeah," Willow said slowly, not understanding what he was talking about.



Anya rolled her eyes before stalking over to the table where the others were. "He's on his Buffy and Spike train again," she told them. "He thinks Buffy and Spike have something going on."



"Going on?" Giles asked.



"Yeah, you know, orgasm buddies," Anya smiled brightly.



Gasp and coughs and giggles were heard as Giles, Willow and Dawn shared different reactions to Anya's blunt assessment of the situation. "And what exactly is your basis for this?" Giles was the first to recover from the announcement.



"I saw them," Xander said angrily. "At the Bronze. They were in the corner making out like teenagers. It was - disgusting!" He said with a shudder.



Dawn grinned before ducking her head. She knew all about what happened and had sworn her secrecy in the matter.



"Are you sure?" Willow asked before she slowly took a seat.



"Yes I'm sure!"



Xander watched all their reactions before sighing heavily when no one spoke. "So, what are we going to do about it?"



"Well, I'm not sure," Giles said. "Buffy is an adult."



"Please," Xander practically yelled. "We know what happened with Angel."



"Spike is nothing like Angel," Dawn cut in hastily.



"Exactly! He's worse," Xander spat out. "We can't allow her to..."



"Allow her?" Dawn asked with wide eyes. "She doesn't need our permission to do anything."



"No, but she's clearly messed up. She hasn't acted right since that stupid spell. She came back wrong!"



Dawn shook her head and bit her lip to keep from saying anything. She knew if she were mad enough, she'd spill all of Buffy's secrets and that wasn't something she wanted to do. Sitting back in her chair, she decided a little cold, hard stare at Xander would do just as good.





~*~*~*~*~






Buffy walked slowly up the steps to her house and smiled as she looked back at Spike while he crossed the street. She wished he would have accepted her invitation to come inside. He insisted that her friends would eventually catch on if things got too cozy too fast between them and he was probably right. She knew he wouldn't go far though. He still found the need to sit under her tree at night and watch over her as she slept. He denied doing it, but she had seen the red glow from his cigarettes on too many nights and no matter how many times she told him it wasn't necessary, she would always see him there.



Sighing lightly, Buffy opened the door and came face to face with all her friends. "Uh, hi guys. Something wrong?"



"You can say that again," Xander sneered.



"Xander," Willow warned. "You promised."



"Okay, did I miss something?" Buffy asked before slowly walking into the living room. She gave a small glance and saw her sister mouth "sorry" before she turned and looked at the others. "What's going on?"



"Buffy, we're sorry to barge in on you so late, but Xander has some concerns," Giles said with a tiny smile.



"Okay," Buffy smiled lightly. "What kind of concerns?" She asked already knowing what this was about. Good thing Spike didn't stay she thought to herself.



"It's about Spike," Giles told her. "Xander seems to think you two are...involved."



"Involved?" Buffy asked trying to figure out exactly what they thought was going on.



"Yes, as in romantically," Giles clarified for her.



Buffy gave a small laugh. She didn't know if it was the fear of being caught or the ridiculousness of having to explain anything to her friends that had her shaking her head and saying the first thing that popped into her head. "That's insane! Why would I be.anything with Spike?"



Dawn sat there and listened. The more she heard the madder she became. She knew Buffy's reaction was just her normal defense mechanism, but it wasn't fair to Spike. He deserved more than that. Hearing Buffy agree with the gang's assessment that Spike was an evil monster had her biting her tongue before she got up from her seat. She glared hard at her sister before stomping out of the room and up the stairs.



Buffy couldn't even look at Dawn as she stomped by her. Buffy watched as the others seemed to all talk at once. She didn't know why she couldn't just tell them how she felt or how much she really enjoyed Spike's company. She sat back in her seat and listened to her friends explain "why" Spike wasn't a suitable boyfriend. She leaned her head back against the chair before sighing heavily and looking out the window. Her heart nearly stopped when her eyes met Spike's and the look on his face nearly broke her heart.



She stared at him until he turned and walked away and as much as she wanted to go to him and tell him she didn't mean what she had said, she knew her friends would eat her alive if she did.



Spike walked slowly across the yard before stepping out onto the sidewalk. He stopped and pulled his smokes from his coat pocket, lighting one before taking a long drag. He closed his eyes and exhaled before he crossed the street.



He shook his head and laughed lightly as he thought about it. What did he really expect from her? Did he honestly think she'd tell her friends about them? He knew that answer to that before the thought even had time too fully surface. She'd never tell her friends about them and he had tried to tell himself that it didn't matter. That just knowing she cared for him was enough. He now knew it wasn't. He wanted more. He wanted whatever it was between them to be out in the open.



Remembering the look on her face while she denied the accusations her friends threw at her, Spike knew that would never happen. He would always be the one thing she hid away from the rest of the world. He was her dirty little secret and in the shadows is where he would stay.





~*~*~*~*~






Buffy took a deep breath as she stood outside of the crypt door. She had spent the whole night after the gang left and most of today trying to figure out what she was going to say to Spike. The look on his face when she saw him standing at the window caused her eyes to close in an attempt to drown out the painful image. He had looked more hurt than she had ever seen him. Causing Spike pain wasn't something she would have cared about doing several weeks ago, now it hurt her just as much as it did him.



Knocking softly on the door, Buffy put a smile on her face before pushing the heavy door open. She could smell candle wax as she entered and the dancing flames that shadowed across the crypt walls made the inside look almost homey.



She had never really paid much attention to Spike's crypt, but as she finally took the time to look at it, she realized it wasn't that bad. Well, for a tomb, that is.



"Spike, are you here?" Buffy called out before walking to the trap door and looking down when she didn't get an answer. "Spike?"



Bending down, Buffy made her way down into the lower chamber. There was a faint glow of candlelight flickering against the stone walls and even though she had only been this far inside Spike's crypt once, she found herself slightly excited as she jumped from the bottom of the ladder.



She walked slowly, looking into the darkened corners before turning the corner. She froze when she saw what lie there.ÿ She couldn't help but smile as she saw the large four-poster bed up against one wall and the bright rugs that littered the floors. It looked like any other bedroom, except for the occasional coffin jutting out from the stone walls.



"Spike, are you down here?" Buffy walked across the room, taking in the space as she made her way to the bed. She couldn't help but smile as she saw the silk sheets that lay haphazardly across it. She had to admit that the room was quite cozy.



She sat down on the edge of the bed and sighed heavily when she realized he wasn't there. Her eyes scanned the room and her shoulders slumped as she tried to figure out where he had gone. The sun had only set an hour ago and she was sure he would have been waiting for her. He would want an explanation to what she had told her friends. So where was he?





~*~*~*~*~






Spike watched her from the entrance of the tunnels and he cursed himself for hiding from her. He didn't even know why he did. The minute he heard her approach the crypt, he had jumped into the lower level and made a dash for the tunnels.



She was sitting on his bed looking around the room and he smiled when she ran her hands over the silk sheets. He had spent many nights fantasizing about her in his bed and now that she was there, he wanted nothing more than to make himself known. Sighing heavily, Spike leaned his head against the cold stone wall and just watched her. He had wondered all day if she would come and he had thought of everything she might have told him and his reaction to each. Nothing ever brought the satisfying relief he hoped for other than her coming clean to her friends and he knew that would never happen.



Buffy finally stood and made her way to the ladder and Spike watched her walk away, closing his eyes when she was out of sight. He didn't open them until he heard the crypt door close and he finally stepped out of his hiding place.



Maybe he could help them both by trying to get to know the scoobies a little better. A harsh chuckled escaped him when that thought reminded him of how ridiculous the idea was. The scoobies would never accept him. Not in this lifetime or any other.
Nine by Zarrah
Chapter Nine





Buffy walked purposely toward Spike's crypt. She had searched all night for him and came up empty in every place she looked. He must have been more upset than she initially thought. She knew he wasn't ready for her friends to know about them anymore than she was but to hear her say the things about him that she did must have hurt. It had hurt her to say them.



She knew he would be home. Where else would a vampire go during the day? Opening his crypt door, she walked inside and started for the trap door.



Xander gritted his teeth when he saw Buffy enter Spike's crypt. He had been on his way to give Spike a little unsolicited advice concerning Buffy when he saw his friend practically running for the crypt. He forced back the urge to call out to her, to ask her what she was doing and followed her instead. When he stood before the crypt's door, he listened to her footsteps before entering quietly.



Buffy saw him lying in bed and she smiled. He was on his stomach facing away from her. She took a few steps before stopping when he shifted slightly. Lean, strong muscles that lay hidden from view were exposed to her when the sheet covering him slid down and rested low on his hips. She sighed at the sight of him.



"Enjoying the view?" Spike's muffled voice broke the silence.



Buffy jumped at the sound of his voice and her smile widened when he rolled over and faced her. "Actually I was," she grinned. "You naked under there?"



Spike couldn't hold back his smile as he looked at her. He knew the minute he saw her his anger at her would be gone. He could never stay mad at her. Sitting up slightly, he propped himself up on his elbows before tilting his head to look at her. "What do you want slayer? Trying to get my beauty rest here."



Buffy stared at him and when he moved his leg and the sheet slid down even further, she felt her face heat up as she blushed. She looked away briefly and could hear his chuckle before she looked back up. "I came to apologize," she told him as she tried to keep eye contact with him. "I came by last night but you weren't here."



Spike held back his smile as he looked at a very red-faced Buffy. He propped his leg up and a smirk crossed his face when she averted her eyes from him. Who knew getting to her would have been so easy? "And just how do you plan on doing that?"



Buffy looked back up and could see the grin on his face and knew what he wanted by the sound of his voice. Was she even ready for that? Taking a few steps toward him, she let out a small sigh as she looked at him. He really was beautiful.



Xander peeked around the corner when Buffy and Spike stopped talking and his eyes widened when he saw Spike. He was barely covered and Buffy was just standing there staring at him. He gritted his teeth together when he saw her take a few steps closer to the bed and just the way Spike was looking at her made his blood boil.



Buffy smiled as she stared at Spike. The longer she looked at him, the more she wanted him. Just the way he was looking at her made her heart pound in her chest. She watched his smile grow slightly before his tongue brushed over his bottom lip and the distraction was all Spike needed. Buffy yelped when his arm reached out and caught her around the waist and pulled her into the bed with him.



She couldn't help but giggle as she landed flat on her back with a very naked vampire pressing her into the mattress. She stared up at him before raising her hand and running it through the unruly curls that looked as soft as they felt. She sighed as her eyes met his and she leaned up and placed a soft kiss on his lips. "I didn't mean what I said last night," she told him with a tiny smile. "They kind of ambushed me and I just blurted out the first thing that came to mind."



"I know," Spike told her before he returned her smile. "Just haven't heard that much contempt from you in so long; it just kinda hurt a little."



"I know and I'm sorry," Buffy smiled. "So you forgive me then?"



"Maybe," Spike said, smiling before he lowered his head to her neck. Buffy's eyes closed when she felt his lips graze her neck and a small bite with blunt teeth caused a small gasp to escape her throat. He wasn't even touching her and her whole body felt like it was on fire. Bringing her hand up Buffy grabbed the back of his head before crushing her lips to his.



Xander watched them from the darkened corner he was hiding in and his breathing was getting heavier every second. He couldn't believe Buffy would let that "thing" touch her. Something was definitely wrong with her. Either she came back wrong from the spell or Spike had done something to her. No way would she be interested in Spike. He was evil. A foul, disgusting creature that didn't deserve anything other than to be put down.



When he heard Buffy moan and saw her guide Spike's hand under her shirt, he turned and made his way quietly up the steps and out of the crypt. He'd show her. He'd make her see. One way or another, he'd show them all what he's always known. Spike was nothing but a monster and he'd prove it.





~*~*~*~*~




"What are you doing?" Anya asked as she stared up into the loft at Xander.



"Hunting a spell," he said, tossing the book he had been looking at into the discarded pile before grabbing another one off the shelf.



"A spell? What kind of spell?"



"Something to show her what she's doing," Xander said quietly as he thumbed through the pages.



"Xander," Anya sighed. She didn't even have to ask. She knew exactly why he was looking. "Would you please come down from there and stop this craziness?"



"It's not crazy," Xander practically yelled as he glared down at her. "I saw them not two hours ago getting cozy in Spike's crypt."



"And how exactly did you manage this?"



"I went to talk to Spike and saw Buffy headed there," he said as he went back to his book. "I followed her in."



"So, you're spying on her now?"



"Not exactly."



Anya watched him for a few minutes before she sighed heavily and headed up the stairs. She had no idea what he was thinking, but she knew enough about spells to know that one wrong turn could turn the simplest things into major catastrophes. The "little Buffy" episode was proof of that. Sitting down next to him she looked at what he was reading before grabbing it and sitting it on her lap. "Okay, tell me exactly what you want."



Xander smiled at her before kissing her knowing she was going to help. "I want Spike to completely forget about Buffy. Forget he thinks he's in love with her and forget all about, well, all of us would be good," he grinned.



Anya shook her head before closing the book she took from him. "Can't do that Xander," she told him.



"And why not?"



"Well, for one, spells on vampires work differently than on humans so you have to be careful what you do. They're tricky. Secondly, a forgetting spell? You have no idea what damage that could do."



"Damage? Like I care what happens to Spike."



"I don't mean damage to Spike. I'm talking about, well.everything. If he forgets Buffy, then he won't help her when she needs him. Not to mention him trying to kill all of us again."



"He can't. Chip remember?"



"That chip doesn't stop him completely Xander," Anya told him as she rolled her eyes. "He could set this shop on fire or Buffy's house for that matter or hire some thug to do it for him. Do you want that?"



Xander stared at her for a long minute before shaking his head. "I never really thought about that," he said sullenly.



"Didn't think so," she smiled before laying the book aside and rummaging through the pile he had made. She already knew what she was looking for and smiled when she found the book. "We could just erase the little Buffy stuff - or try to."



"Oh, perfect!" Xander grinned. "Then he wouldn't even remember her being nice to him. He'd still help out when she asked him to and he could go back to stalking in dark corners."



"Yeah, but if Buffy has feelings for him like you claim, it might not work," Anya said more to herself than to Xander. "I mean, Spike's already in love with her. If she likes him then it won't take long for Spike to pick up on that and we'd be right back where we are now."



Xander stared at Anya as she frowned and tossed the book aside, knowing that idea was also a bust. He sighed before his shoulders slumped. He was sure a spell would work but now it seemed hopeless. If they couldn't find one to get rid of the Spike problem then what was the use? Confronting Buffy hadn't helped. She only lied to them all about her involvement with Spike. That was something Xander still couldn't comprehend. His friend was changing right before his eyes.



"I got it!" Anya yelled causing Xander to jump as she startled him. "I know the perfect spell."



"Well, come on woman. Don't hold out," Xander grinned. "What is it?"
One by Zarrah
Anya glanced up at Xander before smiling at him and going back to her book. This was exactly what we need she thought as she read the spell to herself. "Well, you want Buffy to see Spike for who he really is, right?" Anya asked smiling brightly.



"Yeah."



"Well, then we'll show her," she grinned as she stared at the book in her lap. "I remembered seeing it in here during one of our research parties. It brings out a person's true nature. If Buffy were to see what Spike was really like, then our problem would be solved."



Xander's lips slowly curled into a smile before a small chuckle escaped him as Anya found the page she was looking for. She read off the list of things they would need to perform the spell and he was getting excited just thinking about it. When her smile disappeared, so did his. "What's with the look?"



"It can only be done on the night of the full moon."



"What?" Xander asked sullenly. "That's a week away."



"I know," Anya told him. "Well, at least it'll give us time to prepare everything so we don't have any problems."



Xander sighed heavily before his shoulders slumped. He had hoped to find an end to his problem and solve it tonight. Now he'd have to wait another week. "I guess we have no choice."




~*~






Buffy stretched her arms over her head and smiled as the weight holding her down prevented a full range of motion. Her eyes opened and a smile lit up her face as she saw Spike. His head was resting on her shoulder and he had one arm wrapped around her waist. She leaned her head to the side in order to see his face. He looked peaceful when he slept and Buffy couldn't resist touching him.



Her fingers ghosted across the sharp plans of his face and her smile was still present. Their earlier fun caused a sigh to escape her as the memory came back to her. She had been worried that he wouldn't understand her not wanting to let things go too far but she was pleasantly surprised when he had just smiled and said that being with her was enough. They had talked and shared soft, sweet kisses that were followed by passion-filled ones. He literally took her breath away. How could someone who prided himself on being evil be so tender and caring? What Spike showed the outside world wasn't even close to what he showed her. He was loving and attentive and with every passing day she wanted to share her newfound happiness with her friends but knew she would never be able to.



"It's getting late."



"I know," Buffy said quietly.



"Anyone know you're here?" Spike asked as he opened his eyes.



"Dawn does."



Spike lifted his head and propped himself up on his elbow before leaning down and placing a brief kiss on Buffy's lips. "She know what's going on between us?"



"Yeah," Buffy smiled. "She's already given me her approval," she chuckled.



"That right?" Spike grinned. "Well, the Bit always was a smart girl."



Buffy laughed before sitting up. "Yeah well, she may be smart but she knows me well enough to know that patrol doesn't take this long."



"Well, maybe she's smart enough to figure out you wouldn't be patrolling tonight once you found me," Spike grinned as he reached out with his right hand and fingered the collar of Buffy's blouse.



"My point exactly," she chuckled as she swatted his hand away when his fingers slid down inside the front of her shirt.



Spike smiled and watched her get up from the bed and start around it before he rolled over and sat up. He winked at her before standing up and grabbing his jeans.



"Oh my God!" Buffy squealed before she quickly turned in the opposite direction Spike was standing. Holy shit, you just saw Spike naked she screamed to herself. His laughter made her cheeks burn before a smile covered her face. "That was totally unfair."



"So, you don't like me naked?" Spike asked as he slipped his jeans on.



"Didn't say that," Buffy whispered out.



Spike chuckled again and Buffy heard the zipper of his pants being pulled up before she turned her head to the side slightly. She could see him out of the corner of her eye and the smile on his face had her shaking her head before she turned around to face him. "You really are evil," she said with a smile before taking a few steps toward him.



"Never claimed to be anything but," Spike said as he picked up his shirt.



"You know your payback for that little stunt will be painful, right?" She grinned.



"Hurt me good," Spike whispered before reaching out and grabbing her around the waist and pulling her to him.



Buffy laughed as his head lowered to her neck and small, blunt teeth bites caused chills to shoot up her spine. Her hands roamed over his bare flesh and the small growl that came from him caused her smile to increase. "So, you want to walk me home?"



"Rather you stayed right here," Spike mumbled against her neck as he covered her flesh with small kisses.



"Me too," Buffy said softly as her eyes fell shut. "But you know I can't."



"I know," Spike told her as he kissed his way across her jaw and finally to her mouth.



Buffy sighed into the kiss and her hold on him tightened as he nibbled on her lip. Why did something that seemed so perfect have to be so difficult? What would it take for her friends to see Spike the way she did?





~*~






Anya sighed heavily as Xander practically bounced off the walls. He had been almost unbearable to live with the past week and now that the time to perform the spell was finally here, he was even more hyper than before. She rolled her eyes as he bounced around the living room, whistling a tune while he lit the candles. Just the fact that he was so happy about this made her doubt her skills. What if she failed? What if the only thing she accomplished was a fancy light show and some smoke? Setting the last of the herbs she needed to the side, Anya stepped inside the circle they had drawn and sat down. "Okay, you remember what you have to do, right?"



"Yep. Don't worry about a thing," Xander grinned.



"Good," Anya told him as she took a deep breath and sat the spell book down on her lap. Closing her eyes, Anya took several deep breaths, trying to clear her mind. The small ticking sound to her left caused her eyes to open and she turned her head in Xander's direction. "Cut it out," she scolded as she saw him flicking the lighter he had used to illuminate the candles. "I need it completely quiet in here, okay?"



"Sorry," Xander smiled sheepishly. "So, how long will this take again?"



Anya sighed for what seemed like the hundredth time that night before shaking her head. "Not long. Now just stand over there, light the herbs like I told you and be quiet. Can you do that?"



"Yeah," Xander grinned. "Completely quiet now."



Anya watched him for a few seconds before she shook her head and tried to clear her thoughts. She lit the candle in front of her before she softly started whispering the chant for the spell.



Xander's smile only widened as he watched his girlfriend perform the spell that would change his life. He bounced slightly on his feet as he lit the herbs he held and waved them, sending the smoke through the room as Anya had directed him to do. He knew this spell would work. He could feel it. His only doubt was that it would take longer than he would like for it to. He wanted Buffy to see what Spike was really like and get over her obvious deluded infatuation with him. As Anya's voice became louder, Xander's smile was still present while he thought of what Spike would think when Buffy didn't want anything to do with him anymore. Like I care he chuckled to himself. "He deserves to be treated like the monster he is," he said softly.



Anya's eyes opened when a mystical force rushed through her body and she was thrown backwards. Her head felt like it was going to split open as it hit the floor and she gasped for air as she tried to open her eyes. Softly spoken words she had heard seemed to penetrate her entire body before a bright flash of light lit up the entire room. As the dizzy feelings started to overcome her, Anya heard Xander's voice before everything went completely black.





~*~






"Duck!"



Buffy hit the ground with a roll before springing to her feet and facing the large, red-horned demon she and Spike had come across. The eight-foot demon looked like a stone statue as their attack on him barely even penetrated his skin. Seeing Spike swing his axe, Buffy ran toward the demon as Spike's axe made contact with the side of the creature's neck.



The loud, howling growl the beast let out pierced Buffy's ears and she covered them to block out the noise before she saw the creature lift one clawed hand and swing at Spike. The blow struck him hard, sending him flying backwards to crash into a grave marker and the sound of his voice laced with pain caused her temper to flair. Watching the crumbling stone topple around Spike caused Buffy's heart rate to accelerate before she yelled and attacked. Blows and kicks she didn't even know she had in her after their half hour fight with the creature caused the demon to stagger before a final kick brought it down. Picking up the axe Spike had dropped, Buffy swung it high over her head before bringing it down. The sound of wet flesh and gurgled noises caused a satisfied smile to cover Buffy's face as the creature's head rolled a few feet away. Buffy dropped the axe and ran to Spike's side.



"Hey, you okay?" She asked dropping to her knees beside him as he lay on his side, heaving in large amounts of air. "Spike?"



Spike looked up at her with wide eyes as she grabbed him and pulled him to a sitting position. The fear in her eyes matched his own and he barely even realized she was talking to him as she shook him slightly. He gasped and closed his eyes briefly before the warmth of her hand on his face caused him to open them back up. "Something's wrong," he whispered out.



"What?" Buffy asked worriedly as she looked him over for injuries. "Where are you hurt?"



"Not hurt exactly."



Buffy looked at him with wide, frightened eyes as he continued to breathe heavily before he shook his head and looked up at her. His eyes were wide and the longer he stared at her the more worried she became. "Spike, you're scaring me. What's wrong?"



"I think," Spike started to speak, but stopped for a second before swallowing hard and looking up at her. "Buffy, my heart is beating."
Eleven by Zarrah
Anya groaned as her head throbbed in time with her heartbeat and she blinked lazily before turning her head. Through blurry eyes she saw Xander sit up from the floor and rub his head before he looked over at her and stood.



"Anya, are you okay?" Xander asked before kneeling down at her side and lifting her head. "What the hell happened?"



"I'm not sure," Anya said as she blinked repeatedly trying to clear her vision before she stared up at him. Her eyes went wide when her vision cleared and she saw him before she screamed.



~*~



"You're," Buffy stammered as she stared down at Spike. He was sitting there looking up at her with the most unreadable expression on his face. Lifting her hand slowly, Buffy laid it on his chest over his heart and sat quietly. The small thumps under her hand caused her eyes to widen before she looked up at him. "Your heart is beating," she said quietly.



"I know," Spike said just as softly.



They both sat there silently as they stared at each other and the hand resting on Spike's chest slowly rose to his face. Buffy smiled when she felt the warming flesh under her hand and tears filled her eyes. "Spike, you're alive."





~*~





"Anya! What's wrong?" Xander asked worriedly as Anya stared up at him and screamed. He saw her eyes flutter before she slumped in his arms. "Anya? Anya!" Xander shook her hard as she lay there motionless before he stood up and ran to the kitchen. Grabbing a towel, he wet it under the faucet before wringing it out and rushing back to Anya's side. Sitting beside her, he ran the wet cloth over her face and neck.



He could literally hear a heartbeat pounding in his ears but the sound seemed distant. His fear started to overwhelm him before he gathered Anya up in his arms and stood. He carried her to their room and laid her on the bed before sitting down beside her. He watched her as she slept, not knowing what to do. She looked so peaceful. The soft thumping of heartbeats seemed to ring throughout the room and Xander's eyes strayed from her face to her neck. He could see the veins in her neck pulse with her heartbeat and a small growl broke the silence in the room.



His mouth seemed to go completely dry the longer he stared at the exposed flesh before an overwhelming need to quench his thirst overcame him. Without a second thought, Xander lunged toward her.





~*~





Buffy finally tore her eyes away from Spike and looked back over at the demon they had killed before she looked back at Spike. "Was it the demon?" She asked.



"I don't think so," Spike told her. "When I hit the stone, I felt.I don't know. Kinda, weird."



"Weird how?"



"Hard to explain," Spike told her. "I felt hot and then pain. Lots of pain. Then.my heart was beating."



Buffy watched him stumble through his words with a dazed look on his face. As confused as she felt she could only imagine what he was feeling. "Well, maybe Giles can figure it out," she told him before giving him a little smile.



"Yeah," Spike said quietly before nodding his head. His thoughts were jumbled and he looked back up when Buffy grabbed his arm and tried to pull him from the ground. Once he was standing, he staggered slightly before he felt her arm go around his waist. He smiled down at her before they slowly started making their way out of the graveyard.





~*~





White, hot pain coursed through his entire body and the scream he let out sounded more like an animal's growl as Xander grabbed his head. He jumped from the bed clutching his head and stared wide-eyed at Anya before what he had attempted to do finally registered to him. "Oh God," he mumbled before he staggered back a few steps. Looking around the room frantically he saw the phone before he rushed over to it and quickly dialed Buffy's number. He waited and listened to the ringing before looking around him again. As he heard Dawn's voice on the other end of the line his eyes landed on the mirror above the dresser and the phone was forgotten as he stared at the empty space where his reflection should have been.



"Xander?" Anya said quietly as she sat up and stared at him. He was standing there staring at the dresser and glancing in the direction he was looking at let her know what he saw. Or couldn't see. "I don't know what happened," she told him as she scooted across the bed. Keeping her eyes on him, Anya reached to her side and opened the drawer on the nightstand before fumbling with the contents inside. Sighing as her hand landed on the stake they kept hidden inside it, she pulled it out slowly before standing.



"What did you do?" Xander asked quietly as he stared into the empty mirror. "I have no reflection."



"Yeah, I know," Anya said quietly. "You've also got a major case of bumpies right now too," she stated as she slowly backed away from the bed.



Xander turned yellow eyes in her direction and he could see the fear in her eyes. He could also smell it pouring off her in waves and a part of him savored the scent. A small growl escaped him and his eyes darted from her face to her neck. He could hear her heart pounding in her chest and the sound of it was like music to him. It called to him. The strong thrum of beats that pumped the rich nectar he suddenly craved seemed to pull him from his thoughts and he licked his lips as he stared at the bare flesh of her neck. "Anya," he said as he took a step toward her.



"Xander," Anya warned as she took another step backwards before pulling the stake from behind her back. "I know what you're thinking and please don't make me see if you'll dust."





~*~





Buffy opened the door to her house and helped Spike inside before leading him to the living room. She helped him sit down on the sofa before she stood up straight and looked down at him. He hadn't said a word all the way to her house and that worried her more than his suddenly alive status. A quiet Spike was just.spooky. "Can I get you anything?"



Spike looked up at her and gave her a tiny smile before shaking his head no. He wasn't sure anything would help at the moment. He felt - he didn't know how he felt. He was alive. After a hundred and thirty years, he was alive. He couldn't hear Buffy's heart beating or sense the coming dawn. His fingers were on his wrist and even though he felt the tiny thumps of his pulse, he still couldn't believe it. He was alive. A human. How did this happen?



Buffy had walked out into the hall and picked up the phone. Her fingers had dialed Giles' number without even looking as her eyes were trained on Spike. He looked so lost. She had never seen him look so vulnerable. When the familiar voice broke through her thoughts, she closed her eyes briefly before looking back at Spike. "Hey Giles. I know it's late but I really need your help."



"Buffy, what's wrong?" Giles asked as he picked up his glasses and put them on before sitting up. He could tell by the sound of her voice that something wasn't right.



"It's Spike," Buffy said quietly as she stared at him. "Something's happened to Spike."



"Is he injured?"



"No," Buffy told him. "Can you come over here?"



"Now? It's almost two in the morning."



"Please Giles?" Buffy asked. "I wouldn't have called if it weren't important. I need your help."



Giles sighed heavily before closing his eyes. He didn't know what was wrong, but if Buffy was concerned it must be something worthwhile. "All right, Buffy," Giles said. "Is there anything you need?"



Buffy laughed harshly before shaking her head. "Every book you have might help."



"Books?" Giles asked confused. "What exactly is the problem, Buffy?"



"Spike's alive."



"Well, that rules out theory number one," Giles mumbled.



"He's alive Giles," Buffy said and found herself smiling as she said it. "He's really alive. He has a pulse and body heat and his heart is beating and," Buffy sighed as she stopped her rambling and her smile was in full bloom. Spike was staring at her and for the first time since he had told her about his heartbeat.he was smiling at her.





~*~





"Xander!"



Xander looked up at Anya when she yelled and he swallowed the sudden lump in his throat when he realized what he had been thinking. Twice he had thought of killing her. Twice he had to fight something deep inside him to keep from hurting the one person that meant the most to him. "Anya, what's happening to me?"



Anya felt her eyes tear up when his softly spoken question reached her. The demon features covering his face didn't hide the man inside. She could sense him there through the ridges on his face and the yellow eyes that looked at her. She gave him a tiny smile before lowering the stake in her hand and relaxing her posture. "I'm not sure," she told him. "I guess the spell went kind of wrong."



Xander laughed loudly at that before he felt his temper rise as he stared at her. "You don't say," he spat out hatefully. "And what exactly gave you that impression?"



"You don't have to be so mean," Anya said quietly.



Xander looked at her and saw the glassy appearance of her eyes before he realized what he had done. His temper seemed to be on a short fuse and he closed his eyes for a minute before taking a deep breath and looking back at her. "Sorry, honey," he smiled. "I'm not sure what's wrong with me," he said before taking a few steps to the bed and sitting down.



"It's the demon," Anya told him as she watched him.



"Demon?" Xander asked, surprised.



"Well, yeah," Anya smiled slightly. "Vampire remember? The demon has a mind of its own."



Xander thought for a minute before nodding his head and staring at a spot on the wall. He concentrated on what he was feeling and he could sense it. "We need to call Giles."



"And Buffy."



"Buffy?" Xander asked. "Why?"



"Well, the spell apparently went wrong. If you got all bumpy I'm just wondering what happened to Spike."



Xander chuckled as he thought of the blonde before he stood up. "Maybe he dusted," he said as he looked at Anya. "No! Better yet, let him still be around, that way I can rip his throat out."
Twelve by Zarrah
Chapter 12





Buffy sighed in relief as she let Giles inside and he had barely even got through the door before she started bombarding him with questions. "Please, Buffy slow down," Giles told her. "I don't even know as much as you do at this point." Buffy felt her cheeks redden as she looked over at Spike before she sat back down.



"Spike," Giles said, nodding his head at him as he entered the room. "So, tell me exactly what happened."



~*~




Anya was staring at Xander as he paced around the room talking to himself. The details of Spike's death at his hands had her eyes wide and caused her to slowly start backing away from him. She was pretty sure he wouldn't hurt her, but one could never tell. The demon that was apparently taking up residence inside him was like a loose canon. If Xander could control it then they should be all right until Giles could figure out what went wrong.



Xander turned his head in Anya's direction and smiled as he looked at her. "I can smell your fear, you know."



Anya's eyes widened slightly as she stared at him and her heart rate increased as she continued her slow steps backwards. "Xander, we really need to go see Buffy. Maybe the gang can get you back to normal."



Xander inhaled deeply, laughing almost hysterically before looking back at her. "You have no idea how this feels. It's no wonder Spike enjoyed being a vampire."



"Yeah, well he's had a hundred years to get a grip on it. You've had twenty minutes." Anya watched the yellow of his eyes darken slightly as he stared at her before she heard a low growl emanate from him. She stopped when her back hit the wall and swallowed heavily as Xander took a slow step toward her before he stopped and closed his eyes.



"Anya," Xander said deeply before opening his eyes back up and looking at her. "Run."



Anya stared at him for only a second before she turned and ran through the apartment. The loud growl Xander let out when she made it through the front door caused a scream to finally escape her as she ran down the hall.



"And so it begins," Xander smiled as he stepped out of the bedroom. "Ready or not, here I come."



~*~




"And you don't think it was the demon?" Giles asked Spike for what he thought was the hundredth time.



"Again, no," Spike sighed. "Look, I took a hit, fell and my heart started beating. End of story. I don't know why or how but I can assure you it wasn't the demon."



Giles had listened to Buffy and Spike retell what had happened several times and he still couldn't believe it didn't have something to do with the demon they were fighting. A vampire didn't just "have a heartbeat" for no reason. "Well, I guess we'll have to do a little research in to the matter. There has to be a reasonable explanation for this."



Buffy had been sitting quietly in her seat watching the exchange between Giles and Spike. Her mind had wondered countless times over what all this would mean. If Spike were human, how different things would be for them.



"Penny for your thoughts."



Buffy smiled as she looked over at Dawn before looking back at Spike. "I was just wondering how this would change things."



"What do you mean?" Dawn whispered so the others wouldn't hear.



"Well, if Spike were human."



"You two wouldn't have to hide your relationship."



Buffy gave Dawn a tiny smile before Spike turned to look at her. He looked so different. His skin was still pale, but it had a healthy glow to it now. He looked alive. He smiled at her and Buffy felt her heart skip a beat. She watched him stand and with a final look at her, he turned and left the room.



Buffy's eyes followed his form until he was out of sight before she also stood. When she made it to the entrance to the hall, Giles' voice stopped her.



"Buffy, what exactly do you remember?"



"Giles, I've told you everything I know."



Giles sighed heavily before grabbing another volume of the many books he had brought. Nothing he had seemed to help and he knew he'd have to make a trip to the Magic Box to find what he was looking for. "I know, Buffy. I just can't for the life of me figure out what could have caused this. If it wasn't the demon."



"A spell maybe?" Dawn asked from the corner she was sitting in.



All eyes turned to her and for the first time Giles smiled.



~*~



Spike was staring out across the backyard and he sighed lightly as he looked up into the night sky. The assault of questions Giles had been throwing at him were exhausting and even though he wanted answers to how and why this happened, his body was beginning to fatigue.



"Hey."



Spike's head turned quickly to the left and he smiled when he saw Buffy. "Hey," he said softly. "Didn't hear you come out."



"Apparently," she said, returning his smile. "You okay?"



Spike looked back out across the yard for a few minutes before looking back at her. "I'd be lying if I said yes," he told her. He watched as her smile disappeared and sighed lightly before shaking his head. "You wouldn't believe how many times I've wished for this. To be human. Thought it would make a difference."



"A difference in what?"



"In the way you saw me."



Buffy stared at him before taking a step closer to him. "It doesn't matter to me what you are," she smiled. "Well, I mean it does, but you've changed. It took the whole `little me' thing to finally see it, but I did. I do. Vampire or human my feelings for you are the same."



"And what is that exactly?"



"I care about you," she said softly. "I enjoying spending time with you and."



"But you're not in love with me?"



Buffy looked up at his hopeful face before sighing lightly. "I'm not even sure I know what love feels like."



"You loved the poof," Spike told her before looking back out across the yard.



"Yeah, but that was different."



"How?" Spike asked as he looked back at her. "How was it different?"



"I was sixteen," she smiled. "Everything is so intense at that age. Now that I look back at it, I'm not even sure what I felt. I cared for him and I still do, but I'm not sure it was love. Not real love."



"And Captain Cardboard?"



"Completely different from Angel," she grinned.



"So in other words you're completely daft and have no clue what you feel. No wonder your relationships always fail." He smiled.



Buffy chuckled lightly before closing the distance between them. "If getting involved with you makes me daft, then yeah. I guess I am." A smiled bloomed across Spike's face and Buffy's smiled widened as he lifted his hand and wrapped it around her waist.



"So, what are you trying to say?" He asked her quietly.



"I'm saying that I don't know how to describe what I feel for you. Not yet," she grinned as she looked up at him. "But, I know that I want you. That I miss you when you aren't around. And you make me feel alive. Vampire or human, I'll still want you."



Spike stared down at her and smiled before pulling her closer to him. He kissed the top of her head before looking toward the back door. "Suppose anyone would miss us if we took off for a while?"



"Probably," Buffy laughed. "What did you have in mind?"



Spike raised one eyebrow at her before a wide smirk crossed his face. "Did I ever tell you William was a virgin?"



Buffy's laughter rose before she shook her head and swatted at his arm playfully. "What, you want me to deflower you now?"



"Hey, someone's got to do it."



"You're impossible," she laughed. "And I thought we discussed the whole sex thing already."



"Yeah, you said you weren't ready to jump into bed with another vampire without thinking things through first. 'M human now. Completely changes the rules."



Buffy's smile was wide as she leaned up and kissed him. The thoughts of someone catching them never even entered her mind as she wrapped her arms around his neck. He deepened the kiss and she moaned when she was met with warmth instead of the cool touch she was used to. The new sensation only excited her more as she pulled him closer to her.





~*~




"But who would do it?" Willow asked, looking through one of the books Giles had laid out across the table. "And why?"



"Maybe someone who wanted him out of the way," Dawn supplied. "Human Spike would be easier to kill, right? I mean no super powers and all."



Giles looked over at her and smiled as pulled his glasses off. "That may very well be the case," he told them. "It's possible."



"What's possible?" Buffy asked as she and Spike re-entered the room.



"A spell," Dawn beamed. "Someone may have done a spell on Spike."



"Why?" Buffy asked, her brow lifting as she looked over at Giles.



"Hard to say at this point," he told her. "But it seems like the most plausible explanation we can come up with."



"Well, can you check, Will? Do one of those tracking spell thingys you do?"



Willow grinned at Buffy before shaking her head. "I could, but I'm not real sure I can."



"I can," Giles smiled, looking over at Willow.



"Well, what do we need?" Buffy asked as she walked closer to the group.



"Not much," Giles told her. "A stop down at the Magic Box will be in order though."



"Well, let's go then," Buffy said as she started for the front door.



"Buffy, it's nearly three a.m.," Giles informed her.



"So?" Buffy said as she opened the front door.



"So, it's late and I'm sure we can wait until everyone's had a good night's sleep."



Buffy looked over at Spike as he stopped behind her and sighed lightly when he nodded his head at her, indicating that Giles was right. With a final look at the others she knew she was outnumbered before she turned back to the door to close it.



She peered out into the darkness and stopped when she thought she heard someone scream. She saw a woman run up her walkway and her eyes widened as Anya screamed and ran toward her. "Anya! What's wrong?" She asked worriedly as their friend made her way to the house.



"Xander," Anya screamed as she flew into the house past Buffy and Spike.



"Xander?" Buffy asked as she watched a hysterical Anya. "Where is he?"



The other occupants of the house were already at Anya's side as she cried through her breathless state. Everyone was stunned at her disheveled appearance before a loud growl from outside caught their attention. Turning back to the door, Buffy sighed in relief as she saw Xander running toward the house. She smiled as she opened the door wider. "Xander, what is going on?" She asked him before looking back at Anya.



"Don't invite him in!" Anya screamed as she held her stomach and tried to catch her breath.



"What? Why not?" Buffy asked before turning back around to look at Xander. Her eyes widened when she saw he wasn't slowing down and she stepped back as he jumped up on the porch and charged the open doorway. When he hit the invisible barrier everyone stared with wide eyes as a vamped out Xander stood at the threshold.
Thirteen by Zarrah
Chapter 13





Stunned faces stared out the door and the only sounds to be heard were that of Xander when he growled and beat on the invisible barrier as he tried to get inside the house. The yellow eyes and wrinkled forehead he sported had everyone staring at him like they had never seen anyone like him before. No one moved as they all stared at him and after what seemed like an eternity the soft sound of laughter finally caught everyone's attention.



Spike looked at the others as a wide smile covered his face and he wiped at a tear that fell from his eye. His stomach hurt the longer he laughed and at Buffy's annoyed look, he closed his mouth in an attempt to stop laughing.



"What is so funny?" Buffy asked as she turned to face Spike.



"Oh come on, luv," he snickered. "You can't tell me this isn't bloody hilarious!"



"My best friend being a vampire is hilarious?"



"Of course it is," Spike said through his laughter. "The whelp there hates me and my kind with a fiery passion. Now look at him."



Everyone's attention turned back to Xander and Buffy hated to admit it but the whole situation was getting more bizarre by the minute. First Spike turns human, now Xander is a vampire. Will the night get anymore crazy?



"Anya," Xander grinned as he looked inside the house. "You weren't supposed to get away."



Anya's tears fell quickly as she stared outside and she wiped them away before straightening her shoulders. "Xander I promise you we'll fix this."



Xander laughed before taking a step back away from the door. "Don't want you to fix it."



Everyone watched as Xander turned and ran off the porch. He was out of sight before Buffy even had time to make it out the door.



"Buffy, don't!" Giles yelled as she went to follow.



"Giles we can't just let him go."



"No, but what are you going to do with him?" Giles asked her. "You can't invite him in."



"But its Xander," she said quietly. "We have to help him."



"He can't hurt anyone."



All eyes turned to Anya and she wiped the remaining tears from her face before she wiped her hands on her pants. "I think he has Spike's chip," she told them glancing over at Spike for the first time. "He tried to bite me and went all `grrr' with the head holding and screaming."



"Spike's chip? Anya, I take it you know more of what's happening than we do?" Giles asked as he looked at her.



"You could say that," Anya softly replied before giving them a nervous smile. "I kind of did a little spell."




~*~





Xander walked slowly behind a small group of teens on Main Street and a tiny smile graced his face. His eyes were trained on the petite blonde amongst them and he inhaled deeply to take in their scent as he shoved his hands into his pockets. When the group split, he chuckled at their stupidity and slowed his steps when the blonde ventured off by herself. He followed her for a short distance before quickly darting off into an alleyway. Climbing the fire escape he made his way to the top of the building and followed his victim until she turned the corner. When the city lights no longer illuminated her, he made his move and jumped down into her path. "Not very smart wandering around by yourself," he grinned as he stood in front of her. "All sorts of nasty things running around."



"Who are you?" She asked with wide, frightened eyes.



"The last thing you'll ever see."





~*~





"I swear I did it correctly," Anya cried as she retold what had happened with the spell.



"Apparently not," Giles yelled before biting his tongue and taking a deep breath to calm himself. "Maybe I haven't made myself completely clear. Magic isn't to be taken lightly. You are invoking powers you obviously have no control over."



Buffy glanced around the room and Willow and Dawn both were looking at their feet. She knew Giles' little speech was as much for them as it was for Anya. How Anya could even attempt another spell after the last one she tried failed so miserably was a mystery. Would they never learn? "Okay, this yelling isn't helping anything," Buffy said as she stood and stretched her legs while getting everyone's attention. "We now know who and what did this but my question is, why?"



Anya sniffed back her tears and looked over at Spike then back to Buffy before sitting up straight in her chair. Did she tell the real reason this happened or the short, safer version?



"Well, we're waiting, Anya?" Giles said as he prompted her to speak.



Anya sighed heavily before shaking her head slightly. If she was going to take the blame for this everything might as well be out into the open. "Okay, but no yelling," she said as she looked over at Giles. "Xander didn't believe Buffy's story about her and Spike. In fact he."



"He what?" Buffy asked feeling her heart rate accelerate as she looked at Anya fidget in her seat.



"He saw you."



"Saw me?" Buffy asked quietly as she stared at Anya.



"Yeah. He saw you and Spike. In the crypt."



Buffy felt all the air leave her lungs and the room started to spin before she slowly sat down. Everyone was looking at her and as hard as she tried, she couldn't bring herself to look at anyone. What did she do now? They would know? What would they think? What would they say?



"What difference does it make?"



All eyes turned to Dawn as she stood and looked over at her sister. "It's not anyone's business who Buffy dates."



Buffy's eyes were wide as she stared at her sister and for a brief second she wanted to run. She turned her head and looked over at Spike and for the first time she could see how vulnerable he looked. This wasn't his fault. He wasn't the monster everyone thought he was. He sat there with his head down, staring at the floor and his jaw was tight. He looked ready to bolt. This was it. The moment she had dreaded from the very beginning.





~*~





Xander screamed as pained laced through his head and the growl he let out caused the blonde he had bitten to scream louder before she ran. Xander leaned against the side of the building and held his head as his unnecessary breathing increased. The pain was blinding and as tears sprang to his eyes he blinked them away before the pain started to ease up. Looking down the street, he barely caught a glimpse of his victim as she turned the corner before he straightened and wiped at his eyes. He took a deep breath trying to calm himself before he shook his head and looked around him. He was completely alone. No one roamed the streets and he turned and headed back to the apartment with questions running rampant in his mind. Every answer he came up with had Anya or Spike's name attached to them. The longer he thought about everything the madder he became. This was their fault and they'd both pay for it.





~*~





When the yelling started, Buffy closed her eyes. This is exactly what she wanted to avoid. Dawn was trying her best and it was all out in the open now. Her sister's promise to keep everything to herself came crashing down the minute the words `Spike' and `Buffy' came out of Giles' mouth in the same sentence. She sat and watched as accusations were flung around the room and when Spike stood and started for the door, Buffy stood and called out to him. "Spike! If you think I'm going to stand here and get chewed up into little pieces while you lurk outside then you're crazier than I am."



Spike turned back around and faced her and he could see the fear in her eyes. He wasn't sure what she was going to do. Having her deny everything wasn't something he felt like watching, especially seeing how it was him she would be denying, but to get beat down for being a monster was getting old. A person could only take so much of that before they were ready kill the next person who said it. When Buffy gave him a tiny smile before looking over at Giles he felt his breath catch in his throat.



"Spike and I are."



"You're what Buffy?" Giles asked when she stopped talking and looked back over at Spike.



"Well, I'm not real sure," she said with a little smile before she crossed the room and stopped in front of Spike. "But whatever it is it's between me and him, not you." Buffy gave Spike a wide smile before she turned and stared at her friends. They all looked at her and Spike and for the first time in her life she felt like she had done the right thing "I don't feel the need to justify my actions to any of you anymore and quite frankly I'm not even sure why I've been so scared for you to know. This is my life and I'm free to spend it with whomever I chose."



Spike bite the inside of his jaw. He wasn't sure if it was to keep the stupid ass grin he felt coming on at bay or the tears that burnt his eyes. He didn't think Buffy would ever admit to anyone what had been going on between them, but here she stood telling them all. When the stunned faces of everyone in the room finally caught his attention a tiny smile formed on his face.



"Now it's late and I'm tired. We can discuss this in the morning." Buffy turned and grabbed Spike's hand and led him to the stairs with shocked faces watching them go. When she pulled him up the stairs behind her Spike wondered what twilight zone he had just fallen into. This wasn't really happening. It couldn't be. When the soft click of her bedroom door rang through his head he looked down at her as she dropped his hand and walked to the window and pulled the blinds. He watched her as she fluttered around the room and he let out a long breath when she turned to look at him. "You don't have to sleep here if you don't want," she said softly as she glanced around the room. "I just didn't think leaving you down there to get eaten alive by Giles was a very girlfriend-y thing to do."



Spike smiled as he watched her before he took a couple of steps and crossed the room to where she stood. She was looking at anything but him but when he lifted his hand and ran it through her hair she laid her head down on his chest.



"Can we just sleep now?"



"Yeah, we can sleep," Spike told her as he wrapped his arms around her.



"I'm so tired."



"I know." Spike held her for what seemed like an eternity before she finally lifted her head and looked up at him. She smiled before leaning up and bushing her lips across his in a soft kiss. When she pulled back he was surprised to see tears pooling in her eyes.



"Think they'll hate me now?"



"They love you, Buffy. They could never hate you," he told her as he stared down at her. "They might not agree with you or like the things you do but they'll never hate you."



Buffy smiled in spite of her mood and sniffed back the tears ready to fall before she walked over to the bed. She kicked off her shoes and pulled the blankets back before she crawled in. She was still fully clothed and only briefly thought of changing before her head hit the pillow. When she felt the springs of the bed shift she smiled as Spike's arms found their way around her and she was pulled tight against his chest. Her eyes closed when he nuzzled his face into the crook of her neck and a soft I love you was whispered against her skin. She listened to the sound of his breathing and the warm air that passed over her neck caused a contented sigh to escape her as she grabbed his arm and pulled it closer to her. With a tiny smile, she feel asleep, feeling safe for the first time in longer than she could remember.
Fourteen by Zarrah
Chapter 14



Dawn was holding back her smile. Everyone in the room had been staring at the steps where Buffy and Spike had disappeared over ten minutes ago and no one had said a word. She could see it all on their faces, though.



Anya had the look of "I told you so" plastered across hers with a tiny smirk to go along with it. Giles' eyes were huge and a bright pink tinge colored his cheeks and Willow looked more hurt than anything. Buffy's oldest friend was apparently out of the loop and Dawn knew all too well how that felt.



As the tension in the room began to grow Dawn decided to make the first move and took a step backwards and sat down. The others in turn all started to move but when Giles turned his eyes to her, Dawn sank back in her seat.



"You knew about this?"



"Yes," Dawn answered him hesitantly as she glanced away from him.



Giles sighed heavily before shaking his head and removing his glasses. He mumbled something under his breath and when he looked back up at her, Dawn swallowed heavily. "Dawn you're a smart girl," he stated before replacing his glasses and straightening his shoulders. "And I'm sure you remember all too well what happened with Angel, forced memories or not, so I can't for the life of me figure out why you kept this from all of us."



"Well, Spike isn't Angel," she said softly.



"No, he's worse," Giles said a little too loudly. "He does nothing if it doesn't benefit him in some way. He's out for himself first and him helping Buffy is just an act to further his misguided affections toward her."



"That's not true!" Dawn shouted as she stood from her chair. "He helped when Buffy was gone and no one made him. He was here for me when Buffy wasn't and there wasn't anything in it for him. Nothing. Buffy was dead." Dawn tried to calm herself as tears filled her eyes and she held her chin up defiantly. Spike was the only one who had ever been there for her in that time and she wasn't going to let anyone beat him down for it.



Upstairs, Spike smiled as he listened to the conversation going on in the living room and pulled Buffy closer to him. He had to remember to thank Dawn come morning. His two favorite girls had finally stood up to their "family" for him. Something he thought would never happen.





~*~





Xander was amazed at how different things looked and felt as he walked the streets of Sunnydale. Scents he never knew existed assaulted him and his mouth watered at the thoughts of them. The small scurrying of animals rang throughout the night and the screams of an unlucky victim caused a smile to form on his face. The thoughts of someone getting what he so desperately wanted caused an angry growl to escape him as the slight tingling in his brain still sent small shocks throughout his head. The chip was there. He knew it now. Getting around it couldn't be so hard. Spike had managed for a while now. If Spike could do it, so could he.





~*~





"That's enough!" Willow yelled as she looked at Giles and Dawn. "You two screaming at each other isn't going to help."



Giles finally took a deep breath and looked over at Willow before he blushed and gave a quick glance to Dawn. Her face was red and he could see so much of Buffy staring back at him as she stood firmly and confidently. He gave her a tiny smile before looking away and taking his seat.



"Okay," Willow said calmly as she also took her seat. "The Buffy and Spike thing aside, what are we going to do about Xander? He's still out there doing lord knows what."



"Well, he can't hurt anyone," Anya said softly. "At least I don't think he can."



"Okay, that's a start," Willow said and offered Anya a friendly smile. "Do you still have the original spell? We'll need to look at it to see what went wrong."



"Yeah. It's at the apartment," Anya smiled before her eyes widened slightly. "Can Xander still get in there? I mean he was inside when he went all `grr'. Does that mean he can come and go as he pleases now?"



Willow looked over at Giles and his face held the same curious thoughts hers did. "Um, I'm not sure."



"Neither am I," Giles added. "We may need to de-invite him just to be safe."



"But where will he go?" Anya asked as tears filled her eyes. "He's all alone."



Willow gave Anya another smile before going to get the few spell components they kept in the house. A de-invite spell for the apartment was the first thing they needed to concentrate on. Once they got the spell and figured out what went wrong, they could concentrate on fixing the problem and getting their friend back. The Buffy and Spike stuff would have to come last. There was just too much to do to focus on the insecurities of everyone where Spike was concerned. Walking back into the living room, Willow sat everything down on the coffee table and looked at Giles. He smiled at her unspoken question. "Okay, first thing - de-invite Xander from the apartment and get the spell," Willow said as she grabbed her bag from the hall and helped Giles load everything they needed. "Dawn, you go back to bed. We won't be long."



"Why can't I go?" She asked. The look everyone gave her caused a heavy sigh to escape her before she rolled her eyes. "Stupid question, Dawn," she said quietly to herself before shaking her head.



Willow smiled as she watched the teen climb the stairs before the others headed for the door. As they went outside, Willow couldn't help but stare into the darkness around her as they walked to Giles' car. Xander was her best friend. "Was," she reminded herself. He was a vampire now. Did that change things? Would it make a difference to him?





~*~





The ride to the apartment had been made in silence. Each contemplating what would happen next. Would reversing the spell work? Would Xander be Xander again? Would Spike return to being the vampire they all loved to hate? Would Buffy want him to change back? As Giles finished the spell, Willow looked over at him let out a weary sigh as she felt the magic begin to lift. She knew it would always be this way. Dealing was hard. Not giving in was harder.



"I've got the spell and all the components."



Giles and Willow both turned to Anya as she spoke and they both noticed the bag lying by her feet. She smiled at them as she looked down at it. "He might be a member of the undead, but he has to change eventually, right?"



"I suppose you are, Anya," Giles smiled.



"I was just going to leave it by the door. I'm sure he'll be by eventually. The sun's almost up." She reached down and lifted the small duffle from the floor and looked back up as Giles and Willow stared at her. They probably thought she was crazy. They were probably right. As they collected everything and walked quietly to the door, Anya gave her apartment a long look before locking the door and exiting behind the others. She laid the duffle bag by the door and hoped no one would claim it as their own before Xander came back. As they walked away, Anya said a silent prayer to whoever was listening. This was all her fault and now the close group of friends that had taken her a while to warm up to was her only hope in getting Xander back. Hopefully they lived up to the hype she always thought surrounded them. This was one time they needed to get the job done. They usually did, but this time - it hit closer to home.





~*~





Xander wasn't even aware he had so much anger in him. It felt good, he had decided and realized now why Angelus had had so much fun all the time. It felt good to be bad. The anger kept him focused. It kept him centered. It kept that small twinge of regret from creeping up his spine. He knew what it was, but wasn't about to call it by name. Vampires with souls were useless. Look at Angel. Luckily for him it wasn't much of a voice. He could feel it - way back in the recess of his mind. A little light that tried to pry itself to the front of his conscience but it didn't take much to push it back where it belonged. In the dark.



As the door banged heavily against the wall, Xander growled in frustration as he threw the duffle bag he had found at the apartment across the room. He had completely destroyed the wall by the apartment door in anger at what they had done and he still wasn't satisfied. He wanted to kill something or more appropriately, them.



He could smell the rich coppery scent of blood and he could almost taste it. It made the hair on the back of his neck stand up and he turned his head to the left to where the scent was strongest. He saw the small, battered refrigerator that sat in the corner of the room and growled as he let his eyes sweep across the rest of the room. His scent was everywhere and Xander's anger only grew the longer he stood there. Trapped. That's what he was. They had left him no choice. He was forced to dwell in the lair of the creature he loathed most in the world. A smile curved his face as Spike's image filled his minds eye and he was reminded. Spike was human. Spike was fragile. A once powerful master vampire reduced to a pathetic human.



Laughter filled the crypt as Xander walked to the mini-fridge and looked inside at its contents. Fresh blood filled the shelves and he wasted no time reaching in and grabbing one of the small plastic bags. The notion of heating it never entered his mind until the first drop hit his tongue and even then he didn't care. The thick liquid slid down his throat and a contented growl escaped him as he drained the first bag quickly. He tossed the shriveled plastic to the floor as he grabbed another before shutting the refrigerator door. He turned, looking at the ratty chair and other sparse furnishings before walking to the trapped down and jumping down. He tossed the empty blood bag to the floor as he rounded the corner and he growled as he saw the bed. Images of Buffy and Spike filled his mind as he looked at it and he stalked toward it slowly before looking around the room. It wasn't his first choice in accommodations, but he really didn't have much of a choice now, did he? The sun was rising. He could feel it. It almost tickled, he surmised. The feeling was new. As were most of the sensations he had now. Foreign, but welcomed. Being a vampire had its advantages. A few of them he was sure he'd learn to love just as Spike had. Others, he'd have to find a way around. If Spike could adjust, so could he.
Fifteen by Zarrah
Buffy didn't think she'd ever be more amazed than she was now, but hoped the tiny thrills she found in Spike's humanity didn't fade with time. She was standing at the foot of the bed watching him sleep. A thin ray of light from the window filtered its way through the room and cut a bright path across his face. His hair was even more shocking in the early morning light than it was in moonlight and she caught herself staring at him with more than just a casual eye. There was only one word for it. Lust.



He had stripped his shirt off some time in the night and Buffy just stood there admiring him. She had seen him half-dressed before, but never had the chance to just look at him. Strong, hard muscles lay under pale skin and when he moved, she saw those same muscles strain and release with the movement. She sighed as a smile covered her face. Her eyes roamed his exposed skin and her smile widened before she shook her head and turned away from the bed. Walking across the room, she turned and took one last look at him before opening the door and leaving. As the door softly clicked closed, Spike lifted his head and turned to the door. His smile was wider than Buffy's had been.



~*~



"Hey guys," Buffy said cheerfully as she entered the kitchen. All eyes turned to her and her smile wavered as disappointment covered the faces of her friends. She knew this was coming but didn't want her morning ruined just yet. Taking a deep breath, she smiled and cleared her throat. "I know what you're all going to say so let me make this easy for everyone. Yes, I'm seeing Spike. Yes, I know you don't approve. No, I'm not going to stop just because you think it's a bad decision. Yes, I care what you think but this isn't up for discussion. My life has a time limit on it, it always has, and I intend on using what time I have the best way I know how." She waited nervously when her speech was over and no one moved. She wondered if they even heard her at first but when Willow gave her a half-smile she returned it hesitantly.



"We need to go to the Magic Box to research the spell," Willow told her softly before she glanced at Giles. "You're welcome to come if you want. Even Spike."



Buffy's eyes widened slightly before she looked at everyone. The same disappointed looks still covered their faces, except for Dawn, but she could see that they weren't going to fight her for a change. She wondered why the sudden change of heart all of a sudden but dismissed it. If they didn't want to fight it out, then so be it. She preferred it that way. She smiled before letting out a breath she didn't realize she was holding in. "Okay. Research I can do. I'll see if Spike wants to help."



She watched them all give strained smiles as they grabbed their things and started for the door. When Dawn passed her, her sister's smile was almost blinding. She couldn't help but smile back. This was all too easy. It was almost scary. Why were they acting so out of character? "What's going on?" She asked as she followed Dawn and grabbed her arm.



"They think it has something to do with the spell we did on you," Dawn told her. "They're researching that spell as well."



"Me and Spike being together is a side effect of the original spell?" Buffy asked, confused.



"Yeah," Dawn said. "We know it's not but they have to put a name to everything. So, just let it go. They'll spend so much time trying to fix you and Spike that they'll at least leave you alone for a while."



Buffy watched her sister follow the others out before she let out a long cleansing breath. They actually thought her sudden "feelings" for Spike was a side effect from the spell? She shook her head before sighing heavily. She leaned back against the wall and crossed her arms across her chest and thought of the best way to handle things. What would they do if and when every thing was back to normal and she was still seeing Spike? Would they demand some sort of action from her? Hearing water running upstairs, Buffy smiled as she pushed away from the wall and started for the stairs.



~*~



The bathroom door was cracked open slightly and Buffy could see the heavy steam from the shower clouding the room in a soft haze. The mirror was covered in a thick blanket of mist and she could barely make out the shower curtain reflecting through the mirror. She could only imagine what was happening on the other side of the curtain and she swallowed heavily as her imagination started running wild. She could almost see the soapy water running over the muscles of Spike's back. She wanted nothing more than to push the door open, strip down and join him. What would he say? She wondered to herself. When she heard the water being shut off, she stepped back and turned to her room.



"I know you're out there, slayer."



Buffy stopped and smiled as she reached her door before turning back to the bathroom. She tried to keep her face neutral when Spike suddenly appeared in the doorway but she knew the smile gave her away. He was standing there in nothing but a towel hanging low on his hips. His hair was wet and curling wildly on his head and tiny water droplets made their way down his chest. She wondered if she was drooling as much as she felt like she was. He was gorgeous. And apparently he knew it, judging from the smile on his face.



Spike held back a chuckle threatening to escape him as he crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the doorframe. Buffy still hadn't spoke and he wasn't sure she could. She was staring at him like she'd never seen him before. Maybe taking the shower without her wasn't such a bad idea after all. Not that he would have minded her joining him, but this reaction was just as good. "Come here."



Buffy smiled when his soft-spoken request reached her and took a shuddering breath as she started across the hall. His smile widened slightly as she walked the short distance to where he stood and only when she was right in front of him did he actually move. His arms wrapped around her waist before he leaned down. Buffy closed her eyes and waited for the kiss she thought he was about to give her but when his lips met her neck instead she felt her knees go weak. His tongue licked a small circle on her skin before he kissed the soft flesh there. His breath was hot against her skin and she felt a tremor across her skin as he kissed his way up her neck. Her breathing sped up and she felt dizzy suddenly and was glad he was holding her. When his lips closed around her earlobe and he nibbled softly on it, she smiled as her stomach clenched and tightened. "You really are evil, aren't you?" She asked breathlessly.



Spike chuckled as he kissed and licked the shell of her ear. "It takes me being human for you to finally realize that?"



"Uh-huh."



"Well, I have other little evil tricks I'd like to play with you."



"I bet you do," Buffy said, grinning. "But everyone is expecting us at the Magic box."



Spike sighed before leaning back to look at her. "Do I have to?"



"You don't want to go?"



"No," Spike said loudly. "All they're going to do is sit there and glare holes in my head."



"No they won't," Buffy told him before she frowned. "Okay, maybe they will."



"Guess that settles it then," Spike said before smiling and lowering his head back to Buffy's neck.



"No it doesn't," Buffy giggled as he nibbled his way across her neck.



"Yes it does," Spike mumbled against her skin. "Scoobies don't like me, so we stay here and fool around."



Buffy laughed as she pulled herself out of Spike's arms and took a step back. "You need to get dressed."



"Thought you liked the towel," Spike said.



Buffy watched a smirk cross his face as he lifted one brow to look at her before she grinned. "I like the towel a lot," she told him, taking a minute to look at him from head to toe.



"Then what's the problem?" Spike asked, taking a step toward her.



"They're expecting us," she said, smiling as she started walking backwards while he slowly advanced on her.



"My clothes are dirty," Spike grinned as he followed her slow movements. "Take at least and hour to wash and dry them."



"Well, then we go to the crypt and get you some clean clothes." Buffy was just inside her bedroom door and he was still slowly advancing on her. Her heart was racing in her chest. The look on his face said it all. "God, how am I going to resist him?" She asked herself.



"We don't have to do anything you're not comfortable with," Spike told her as he finally stopped in front of her. "Come on, kitten."



Buffy sighed as he lowered his head and kissed her breathless. Every nerve ending in her body was jumping and she fought to keep her head straight. "Put some pants on first," she said, breaking the kiss.



"That takes all the fun out," Spike whispered against her lips.



"Yeah but at least that way we won't get carried away."



Spike sighed before pulling away from her and shaking his head. "Okay, we'll play this your way."



"Thank you." Buffy smiled as he turned and headed back across the hall to the bathroom. "We'll stop by the crypt on the way to the Magic Box and pick you up some clothes."



"Yeah, okay."



Buffy watched him with a smile that grew as she watched his backside when he walked across the hall. When he reached the door, she grinned as he turned his head and smiled back at her before he grabbed the towel and pulled it from his hips. His naked backside caused a bright flush to cover her face before she laughed and turned her back to him. His laughter echoed inside the bathroom and she couldn't help but turn and get another look as he picked his jeans up. "I am in so much trouble," she said softly as she shook her head.

~*~





Giles rubbed a hand over his face before taking a deep breath and releasing it. He glanced at the others scattered around the room before replacing his glasses and looking back down at the original spell Anya had cast. They had gone over every thing but something was off. The spell should have worked. But how did Spike end up a human and Xander a vampire? "Anya, can you explain to me what happened again?"



Anya looked up from her book at Giles and frowned before she sighed heavily. "I have Giles. Like ten times now. The story won't change. I did the spell right."



"I'm not claiming that you didn't, Anya. I can see that you did but something went wrong. We need to figure out what that was."



Anya sat back in her chair and closed her eyes. She remembered the smell of the herbs, the soft chanting and the feeling of power rush over her skin. She knew the spell was working. She felt it. The power rose to its peak and a voice broke through the circle of power. Her eyes snapped open as did her mouth.



"What?" Giles asked as he sat straight up in his chair. "What did you think of?"



"Xander," Anya said softly before looking at Giles. "Xander said something during the spell."



"Do you remember what it was he said?"



Anya closed her eyes again and concentrated, trying to remember. She shook her head and made a grunting sound before she looked back up. "No. I just remember hearing his voice. Maybe something he said changed it."



"It's very possible," Giles said as he looked back down at the spell. "Whatever he said must have altered the outcome. We'll have to figure out exactly what that was to begin trying to find a way to correct it."



"How are we going to do that?" Dawn asked from the steps. "If Anya can't remember I'm sure Xander isn't going to."



"Hypnosis maybe?" Willow asked.



"Maybe," Giles said. "Any luck on your end, Willow?"



"No," she said quietly. "The spell to bring Buffy back to normal should have brought her back exactly the same as she was prior to the spell. We did it correctly from what I can tell, so she should be the same old Buffy."



"But she's not," Giles said looking over at her. "Keep looking. We've missed something."



Dawn watched them as they poured over their text. They would never accept the fact that Buffy made a conscience decision about Spike and herself. They had to blame it on something. Looking back down at her own book, she sighed, knowing things would get worse before they finally accepted Spike. Especially accepting him and Buffy being together. It was going to take a miracle.





~*~





"Hold up a minute, luv," Spike said, grabbing Buffy's arm and stopping her.



Buffy turned her head to look back at him. She smiled when she saw the look on his face. "You can't be scared, Spike. You run around almost every day in the sun."



"Yeah, with a blanket over my head," he told her as he looked out the front door. "It's a lot different than just walking out there unprotected."



Buffy giggled as she walked back to where he stood. "I'll protect you."



"Now you're making fun."



"No I'm not." Buffy smiled wider before leaning up on her toes and kissing him. She really hadn't thought of how he'd react to everyday things that she didn't give a second thought to. She had her whole life to adjust to them. He hadn't had to worry about them in over a hundred years. When she pulled back from him she grabbed his hand before walking slowly toward the door. He still looked apprehensive, but not as scared as he had been. When they were both on the porch, she locked the door behind them before starting for the steps. Spike stood just on the edge of the porch staring down at his feet as the sun hit them. He gave her a hesitant smile before sticking his hand out into the bright ray of light and she watched as his smile grew.



"No smoke," Spike said before grinning. He took the first step down and for the first time in longer than he could remember, the heat felt good. It wasn't scary or making him want to hide. He looked up, squinting his eyes before lifting his hand to shield them.



Buffy just stood there watching him as he walked down the steps and onto the walkway. He was still staring up into the sky and she felt something tighten in her chest as she watched the sun play off his hair. He looked like he was glowing. Her breath caught in her throat and she felt a small prickling of tears behind her eyes before she smiled and walked down the steps to join him. "You ready to go?"



Spike looked down at her and smiled before leaning in for a quick kiss. "Yeah, let's go."


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