*Woke up this morning
With this feeling inside me that I can't explain
Like a weight that I've carried
Has been carried away, away
But I know something is coming
I don't know what it is
But I know it's amazing, you save me
My time is coming
And I'll find my way out of this longest drought...*



Dawn walked into the dark bedroom and looked at her sleeping sister. A small smile drifted across her face at the sight of the worn Raggedy Ann doll clutched in Buffy's arms. But the smile quickly vanished when she looked at her swollen eyes and tear stained pillow. Dawn shook her head and sat down on the edge of the bed, there had to be something. Something she could do to make Buffy realize what she was doing. Killing herself.

She got up and walked to the window, ripping the dark curtains aside, allowing the sun to pour inside. She looked back when the sheets rustled and watched as Buffy squinted her swollen eyes against the light.

"What the hell are you doing?"

Dawn looked at her and mentally braced herself for what she was about to do.

"I'm gonna show you."

"Show me what?" Buffy sighed and rolled over, burrowing down into the covers.

"The reason he died."

The blankets stilled and she could hear the sharp intake of breath beneath them. Buffy slowly pulled the sheet away from her face and regarded her with wide eyes.

"What did you say?"

Dawn turned back to the window and watched as the sun peeked over the hill it had hid behind.

"This. This sunrise. This day. This is what he died for. For the world. For us." She turned and looked at Buffy. "For you."

Buffy closed her eyes and held in her tears as her lips trembled.

"For you to live." Dawn walked over and sat on the bed, her small hand lifting Buffy's eyes to her own. "To be happy, Buffy. You can live now. You're not the only one any more. You can go and do what ever you want to, the only responsibility you have now, is to yourself."

Buffy shook her head and clenched her fists.

"You don't understand."

"I don't?" Dawn narrowed her eyes, breathing deeply. "Do you even realize how much-" She let out a small humorless laugh and closed her eyes against her tears. "How much I miss him? How much I would give just to see him? Just to tell him that..." Tears spilled down her cheeks as she opened her eyes. "I'm sorry. That I love him. That I'm still his little bit."

"Dawnie." Buffy covered her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"I never got a chance to tell him. That even though he hurt us, I still loved him." Dawn looked at her with weary eyes. "So I think I understand, Buffy."

Buffy pulled Dawn into a tight hug, holding her as she cried. They sat just comforting each other until Dawn pulled back and wiped at her eyes.

"But there is something we can do now. We can live for him. " She looked out the window and gripped Buffy's hand. "He did this for us Buffy. He died so we could live. So we could be happy and safe. We can't throw that away. We're just sitting here, hiding away from the world that is here because of him. We can't let him have died in vain, we can't throw his sacrifice away."

Buffy stood from the bed and slowly walked toward the window, closing her eyes as the sun warmed her face. She reached for her cross and gripped it, a small smile tugging at her lips.

~Live for me.~



*It feels like today, I know It feels like today, I'm sure
Its the one thing that's missin'
The one thing I'm wishin'
Life's sacred blessin'
It feels like today
Feels like today...*


"It's not gonna happen over night, Buffy. It hurts, God it hurts. And it's gonna be hard. But-" Dawn walked over and turned Buffy to face her, looking into her eyes with a slight smile. "Today- Today can be the beginning. We can do it, Buffy. We can live for him."

Buffy nodded her head as tears slipped from her eyes. Dawn pulled her close and they held each other until their tears turned into laughter.



*So while this storm is breaking
While there's light at the end of the tunnel
Keep running towards it
Releasing the pressure, that's my heartache
Soon this dam will break...*


Buffy walked out the door and gripped Dawn's hand as she looked out onto the street. She watched people walk by, she listened to the cars, and she listened to the birds.

He did this.

These things were here because of him. Because of his sacrifice.

Because of his love.

She looked over at Dawn and gave her a smile as she stepped onto the sidewalk.


*And it feels like today...*





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