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* I go to bed, I dream of you...*


The light was blinding.

It held her. She was bound to it, couldn't move.

But why would she want to move?

"Buffy."

His face. His beautiful face was there, in front of her, his smile shining like the sun.

"Spike."

She heard the sizzle of her tears falling into the fire surrounding them. But she didn't feel the heat. She could only feel him, his arms around her, holding her while she cried tears of joy.

"I've been waiting for you, love."

She smiled and clutched him when she felt the fire lick at her feet. She felt it as the fire swirled around them, consuming them. She closed her eyes in rapture, holding onto the man she loved, fulfilling her destiny. Heaven would be so much sweeter with him by her side.

"Buffy!"

She opened her eyes as she was jerked out of his arms.

She blinked as she looked at the walls of her bedroom, reality slamming into her. She fell back against her pillow, sobs wracking her tiny body.

Dawn watched helplessly as her sister broke down.

"Buffy. I- I'm sorry. I wish- I wish there was something I could do, I don't..." Her words trailed into silence and she could feel her own tears begin to fall.

"Just- just hold me."

She barely heard the whispered words. She laid down and opened her arms, wrapping them tightly around Buffy as she burrowed into her sisters chest. She softly stroked her hair, trying to offer any comfort she could.

"You know, one time when- when you were... gone, I couldn't find him." Buffy pulled her face back and peered up at her. Dawn looked out the window, lost in memories of her own. "I looked everywhere. His crypt, the Bronze, even the Magic Box, but he wasn't anywhere. I walked through the graveyard on my way back to the house, I was gonna stop by and... visit you. I figured that Spike was at Willy's, maybe with Clem. But I was walking and I heard something. I got scared, I mean, I knew better than to be out there, but I wanted to see you." She squeezed Buffy as if to reassure herself. " I knew it was gonna be some demon, I just knew it. I started to run, but then, I just- I didn't care anymore. Maybe it would-" Her lips trembled as tears rolled down her cheeks. "Maybe it would have let me be with you and mom."

"Dawnie." Buffy grasped her and held her tightly as she finished her tale.

"So I went looking for it. I could hear all these moans, these really strange sounds. I followed them all the way to your grave and that's where I found him. Spike."

Buffy sucked in a breath and tightened her jaw, fresh pain running rampant.

"He was- he was pitiful. He was laying down on top of your grave, clawing at the grass. Crying, weeping, begging for God to bring you back."

Buffy couldn't catch her breath, her lungs burned and her eyes blurred with tears.

"He said he would do anything. He just needed to see you, to just- just be near you. He said he needed his soul back." Her brow furrowed and she looked at her sister. "And I didn't realize until now... That he was talking about you."

Dawn looked out the window and held Buffy as she wept.

"You were his soul."





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