Disclaimer: I wished I owned them, they'd still be on the air on my very own Mutent channel. I would like to thank Joss for creating these wonderful characters that we refuse to let die.
Pairings: S/B, S/Fred (temp, and written to meet the need of the story, so graphic sex between them of the not so nice kind, B/Riley.
A/N: WARNING, a DARK piece of fiction with a light at the end of the tunnel. Love is not always easy, can sometimes be very hard and one might think beyond their reach once they lose it. I will warn everyone before the bad girl Fred scenes occurs. I decided to make one of the girls the bad person in this story.....yep Angel and Riley will not be the bad guys here.....All comments are welcome, but be warned this is a dark fiction.......I'm also learning LJ, under spikespet7 come and visit.
TO FORGIVE OR FORGET
Buffy watched as Spike played his heart out to the crowd. She could tell he was in the zone, as he brought the music to life with his guitar. He had told her that getting lost in the zone was like making love. That is was the next best thing to being inside her.
One year ago, today she had met the lead guitarist for Angel's Redemption, who tonight was the opening act for Eric Stewart. Their CD, Soul Catcher, went number one after 3 weeks on the charts; making them a very hot item that everyone wanted a part of. The CD has been holding its own and has remained in the top ten over the last six month.
The two young females in the row in front of her were wearing Spike tee shirts and nudging each other every time the hot guitarist would come and play in front of them. She figured each of them believed he was playing just for them, when in fact he playing to her.
"I would let him fuck me anytime or anywhere," the one girl yelled.
"I wouldn't turn him away, that's for sure," the other girl screamed back.
Buffy fought the urge to lean forward and tell them that the only person he was fucking tonight was her, his girlfriend. It was difficult to be the adult sometimes and times like this really made it even harder.
*******
Spike stood drinking his third beer since finishing their set. The rest of the band was mingling about, as he stood listening to the groupie promising him anything he wanted. The more he listened the more he wanted to laugh in her face. No one could come close to tempting him to stray. His golden princess was all he ever wanted or needed.
"I can make you come so hard baby, it would send you into next week," Harmony purred as she licked her lips and stared hungrily at the crotch of his tight black jeans. "The things I would love to do with you would make both your heads spin."
"Sorry, still not interested," Spike said dully as he lifted the beer bottle to his lips.
"Maybe we can go some where private, so I can give you a sample of what my tongue can do." She offered as she rubbed her hips with her hands, causing the hem of her short dress to rise up showing her red satin garters holding up black sheer nylons.
"Nope, nada, don't know why you're still here." Spike shrugged as he looked to see if Buffy was there yet.
"I guess I could ask you the same thing?" Buffy asked from behind him.
Spike turned and greeted her with a warm smile as he pulled her toward him, "'Cause this is where you told me to meet you."
Buffy relaxed as she remembered she had told him she'd meet him right here after his set. It just had taken longer then she had anticipated getting backstage. She wrapped her arms around his neck and met him half way as they kissed.
She heard the hard click of the blonde bimbo's stiletto heels as she scurried away bitching about the nerve of girlfriend's coming to the shows. Soon her lover's talented tongue made her forget all about the raging hormones of groupies and lusting fans.
"Coming up for air anytime soon?" Angel asked the couple.
After a few minutes of the couple still kissing, Xander asked, "God, how can they do that for so long and live?"
"Lots and lots of practice," Cordy snorted.
"Yep," Oz agreed.
"I think it's sweet," Tara replied as she shyly smiled at the couple.
"I wonder if Buffy gives lessons," Doyle said aloud, causing Spike to growl and lift his lips slightly from his lady's.
"No, she doesn't," Spike informed him.
"Spike lips, lips of Spike all for Buffy." Buffy sighed as she leaned her forehead against his chin.
"Got that right, baby." Spike chuckled as he kissed the top of her head.
"Well, let's get things packed up so we can enjoy the rest of the show," Angel suggested, hoping to catch as much of Stewart's performance as he could.
"I second that motion," Spike agreed, wanting to watch his hero play.
"Third." Oz motioned as he and the others then left to pack up their equipment and load it into their truck.
*******
Buffy's frustration was very close to becoming anger as she watched her boyfriend continue to drink heavily. He had promised he would cut back and not drink to excess anymore. For the last six months, he'd been doing a great job at it. He hadn't ingested any illegal drugs at all in that time either.
"That ass!" She mumbled as she watched him do a line of coke off the side of his hand, followed by a shot of whatever he and the other guy was drinking.
Buffy walked quickly over to her man, stood with her arms crossed across her chest and glared at him. It took the other man, nudging Spike in the ribs for him to even notice she was there.
"Hey, baby," he cooed.
"Don't hey baby me, Mister." She fumed as she pulled away from his hand. "I think it's a good time for us to leave."
"I'm not ready to leave yet. The party is really getting interesting." Spike pouted as he moved closer to her and started to get angry when she stepped away from him yet again.
"No, it's not getting more interesting, you are just getting a bit too high," she told him. "You promised me, Spike, that you'd never do drugs again. You promised to cut back on your drinking too."
"But it's a special night, baby. We opened for ES and got interviewed by the Rolling Stone," Spike reasoned.
"Man, are you a pussy or what, letting the little woman dictate to you how to celebrate your success," the man who was feeding Spike the drugs complained.
"Yeah, don't dictate to me," Spike whined, as he felt inspired by the other man's words.
"Dictate! Well let's see if you remember the deal, Spike." Buffy reminded him. "You go back to drugs; I leave your ass."
"Buffy, don't be like that baby. It's only for tonight," Spike told her.
"Spike, either you come home with me now and we talk about it, or don't come home at all." Buffy offered her ultimatum, knowing that his decision would make or break them.
"Don't threaten me, bitch," Spike snarled, feeling his manhood being challenged.
"Bitch? Did you just call me a bitch?" She asked softly the pain laced through her voice.
"If the shoe fits, wear it," Spike replied, as the other man's comment to stick to his guns encouraged him to stand his ground.
"Then I guess we have nothing more to say," Buffy told him with tears in her eyes as she turned to walk away.
Spike's inner voice was begging him to go to her and beg for forgiveness for his stupid words. But the inner demon had a hold on him and wouldn't let him do it, and it didn't help that the other man was telling him, ‘great job of telling the bossy bitch off.’
Buffy blindly made it to the elevator, refusing to break down here in front of everyone. The last thing she needed was for anyone to try and stop her from leaving. She just didn't want to deal with losing another loved one to drugs.
It still hurt that her mother had chosen the drugs over her. She would clean up one binge after another, with her mother promising to stop. The promises were lies since she continued to find needles in the bed, under the couch, on the back of the toilet, and in the cookie jar. Strange men came and went at all hours of the day or night.
The day they came to her job to tell her that her mother had died from an overdose down at the neighborhood drug house had not come as a surprise. Part of her hated her mother for doing this to them, while the other part was relieved it was finally over. There was no way she could do it again with Spike.
"Do you love him?" A male voiced asked.
She turned to see Mr. Stewart standing behind her; Spike had introduced her to him earlier, looking at her with sympathetic eyes. All she could do was shake her head yes, realizing to speak the word would bring on the tears.
"I take it this is not a first time occurrence," he stated simply, as he turned his eyes back toward the man in question.
Buffy, again, could only shake her head no. Wondering where he could be going with this and wishing the elevator would arrive and save her from further interrogation.
"Is he worth fighting for?"
"I can't take that chance anymore. I lost the fight with my mother, and I just don't have it in me to compete with the demon inside him that it brings out. He has never called me a bitch before," she whispered as the tears began to flow.
"I understand, Miss Summers, more then you will ever know." Eric said as he motioned for one of the men working for him to come over. "Deacon, see to it that Miss Summers makes it safely home."
"Yes, Mr. Stewart." He replied as he bowed his head to her and said, "Come with me Miss, we will need to go down the back elevator to reach where the limo is parked."
Buffy smiled softly and said, "Thank you."
"You are very welcome, and I hope everything works out for you," Eric said as he leaned in and lightly kissed her cheek.
He watched the petite blonde beauty walk away making a promise to her to see what he could do to make that young man of hers see the error of his ways. Maybe he could use his influence to bring the man back from the edge before he fell.
*******
Angel felt the urge to go over and clean his cousin's clock. He and Spike had formed the band in high school with several of their high school friends seven years ago. The day that Buffy had come into Spike's life had been a lifesaver for both of them.
He knew he needed to simmer down before going over and confronting Spike on his scandalous behavior. He wanted to vomit as he watched Spike let the little whore touch him like that in public.
*******
Spike felt his cock harden as he watched Harmony slowly snort the line of coke off the side of his hand and then lick it clean. The effect traveled down to his crotch.
"Oh, yeah, baby, that's it." He moaned as she took his thumb inside her mouth and sucked on it.
She hummed around it as her hand cupped his erection and massaged it in time with her suckling of his digit. Both became lost in the lust and didn't notice when someone came and pulled them apart.
"Hey, I was enjoying that mind you," Spike slurred as he reached to pull the girl back.
"You’re a bastard Rayne." Doyle snarled as he noticed the lust crazed look in other man's eyes. "You don't deserve her."
"Yes, I deserve her pretty little lips sucking me off," Spike replied misinterpreting Doyle's meaning.
"Oh, you deserve the slut; you don't deserve Buffy."
"Doyle, stop right now." Angel's voice sounded angry as he stepped between the dark haired Irishman and his drugged out cousin. "This is a conversation best held in the morning when he will remember it."
"I won't be here in the morning. I'm outta of this mess. I refuse to work with a druggie." Doyle informed his boss as he threw his hands up and backed away.
"Come on man, don't over react like that," Xander tried to reason with their rhythm guitarist.
"I've been burned too many times playing with fuck ups like him. Next, he'll be late for warm ups, his need for a fix more important. Then it'll be he can't make it to the warm ups before the show and then comes the no shows," Doyle explained, being the only one that had been in other bands than Angel's Redemption.
"I would never be late, never," Spike yelled.
"Yeah, and I never thought I'd see the day you'd chose blow for your nose and let the likes of that touch you over Buffy," Doyle said as he pointed over at Harmony with a disgusted look on his face.
"Blondie Bear don't let him talk about me like that," Harmony whined as she shot the Irishmen a glare.
"Enough!" Angel shouted. "Spike, we're leaving and I mean just you, me and Cordy."
Spike was about to say something when Cordy walked over to Harmony with a hateful look on her face. "Bitch leave before I make you leave."
"But I'm with Spike," she pouted.
"You won't be able to walk if you don't get out of my face by the time I count to five." Cordy sighed, and started to count.
Tara took the silly doped up girl by the arm and dragged her way advising her, "You don't want Cordy to show you she means business. I mean, you do make a living with your looks right? Well, after she was done, do I really need to spell it out for you?"
"But I'm with Spike," she continued to whine.
"No honey you're not with Spike," Tara gently corrected her. "'Cause if you are with him, we'd disown him."
Angel walked over getting into his cousin's face and warned him, "If you give me one ounce of trouble I will punch your lights out."
Even as intoxicated as he was, Spike knew if he bucked his cousin right now the bloke would knock his block off for sure. One thing was constant about Angel; everyone knew when they had pressed his buttons for the last time.
"Doyle, you can quite the band if you want, but not until this tour is over," Angel informed him.
"Fine!" was all Doyle said, before he left to go back to his apartment.
"The rest of you go home and get some rest, me and Cordy will take it from here," Angel instructed everyone else.
"Actually I would like for you to bring him to my suite."
Everyone looked over at the legendary rock hero and for the first time realized they'd aired their dirty laundry in front of him and his band.
"Mr. Stewart, we're sorry if we caused you any trouble," Angel apologized to the man who they were opening for.
"Don't think twice about it, just let me take care of him for now," Eric said as he walked over and stood before the man who reminded him of a time long ago.
"Mr. Rayne, we will have a long and difficult discussion when you sober up." Eric looked down at him with gentle brown eyes.
"What could you possibly have to talk to the likes of me about?" Spike snorted, feeling suddenly nauseated and dizzy.
"Nothing at the moment, but I think you need to find a place to rest and let the shit wear off," Eric advised, recognizing the look of a man coming down off his high.
"But why me of all people?"
"If you had to choose love or money what would it be?" Eric asked.
"Why not both?"
"It's not on the menu," Eric answered with a soft smile on his face.
"Money, it doesn’t leave you unless you want it too," Spike responded, with a cocky look on his face.
"But is can be taken from you and used against you just like love. The only difference, it does not fill your bed at night or brighten your days for it cannot smile like she does or curve to your body like she can. It can't kiss you and bring you bliss like she can. It can't warm you the same as when you sheath yourself deep into her body and make her scream for you by name. Then comes the children, nothing compares to when the woman you love carries the life you both created with that love. That my friend money cannot buy or compete with." Eric sighed, thinking about the women he had loved and the child he'd lost.
"I'm afraid of that kind of love," Spike whispered before he passed out as his cousin and Xander caught him.
"Let's take him to my limo and then we can put in the room next to mine," Eric said, knowing he would do everything in his power to put this young man back together again.
*******
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