[Reviews - 413]
-
Table of Contents [Report This]
Microsoft Word Chapter or Story | ePub eBook Chapter or Story | Printer Chapter or Story

Has been viewed 2429 times

- Text Size +




a/n-Ok, not much happens in this chap, just a warning! Unbeta'd ficage, so you've been warned.
Chapter 16

A sense of sadness settled over Buffy. She should have known. Anything that caused her any happiness should always be suspect, usually the result of something mystical or the supernatural, a reoccurring theme in her life.

"What are you thinking?" Spike had expected blustering denial or at least a touch of anger at his revelation, not this shimmering regret he could feel pouring off her.

Buffy didn't even pretend to misunderstand as she offered him a bittersweet smile. "I guess I'm just kind of bummed that all of this is because of a spell. Because you and me? Totally weird and wrong on so many levels, but it felt right. Guess I know why now, huh?" she admitted. "It just pisses me off that I can never really trust my feelings to be coming from ME and not the result of some outside interference."

Spike's nostrils flared in response. "S'not exactly what I said. Well ok, maybe it is, but that isn't what I bloody well meant." Spike sighed heavily, taking a moment to choose his next words. "Remember the last time we saw each other? When you were trying to untie Peaches and I came up and knocked you away?"

Buffy nodded warily, that exact moment forever etched at the root of her self-denial.

"Well, did you feel anything... weird?"

Buffy's next breath caught in her throat as her mind went screaming back to that last day she had seen Spike in Sunnydale. A time when nothing had seemed more important than getting Angel away from Spike's evil clutches, even though Buffy was aware that Spike's reason for sacrificing Angel were not motivated by pure selfish intent. Even then, she had given him credit for doing what it took for the one he loved.

Or did.

She had felt something. As she was trying to free Angel, Spike's fingers had brushed against hers before he had grabbed her shirt and tossed her away. She may have denied it then and was still trying to do a good job of denying it now; but the truth was she did remember the sudden spark that arced the moment he had grabbed her. She had chalked it up to static electricity or residual spelly stuff, even though Angel and the ho-bag weren't all glowy anymore.

Confusion began to give way to anger. "What happened?" she asked.

He gave her a wry smile. "We got caught in the backlash of the spell."

'So this IS a spell," she accused pointing her finger at him, finding the realization...painful.

"No! I told you it's not. Look, the spell I did was a restoration spell, ok? Your Watcher boy probably told you all about it. Anyway, after Dru left me for that Julio git and I was alone to finally admit that something HAD happened to me in Sunnyhell, I consulted a whole slew of mystics, psychics, whatever. I was furious." Spike jumped to his feet and began pacing, taking his agitation out on the path he stalked. "I bloody well ate my way through the lot of them because they weren't telling me what I wanted to hear. I just.. just wanted to get you out of my bleedin head."

"But each one only confirmed that there was nothing mystical about my feelings. No traces of any residual magics lingered that would explain this gaping hole in my soddin heart that only YOU could fill."

"So what DID the spell do, " Buffy asked in a quietly lethal voice, finding her own guard up. "What did it restore?"

"That's the kicker. Didn't restore anything. It unlocked."

'What? God, you sound like Giles! Why can't you just tell me without all the little riddles and secret messages?"

Thoroughly agitated, Spike ran his fingers through his hair, leaving a slew of messed up spikes in its wake. Buffy defiantly stared him down, willing him to answer her. What was so hard about telling her what the spell actually did? Why couldn't her life EVER be simple?

He stopped suddenly and turned intense stormy eyes in her direction. "Let me ask you a question, pet. The first time you saw me...what was your gut reaction?"

"That you were a vampire and I was going to kill you." Buffy replied succinctly, not missing a beat.

Spike growled harshly, his eyes flashing. "The truth now. I'm being honest with you, least you can do is give me the same bloody courtesy. I'll ask again. The first time you laid your eyes on me, what ran through your head?"

Buffy ducked her head to get away from his searching eyes. "I thought you were, uh..." The comely blush that graced her face finished her response.

With a satisfied smirk, Spike tucked his tongue behind his front teeth and nodded knowingly. "Now that's a bit more like it. S'what I figured, being able to smell you and all."

"Ew, gross Spike!"

"Yeah, I know. But, that was pretty much my reaction when I first saw you there at the Bronze. There was heat there, pet. Right from the start."

Buffy didn't even bother denying it. "Ok, so maybe I DID think you were a major hottie. I'm still all with the confused here. What exactly are you trying to say?"

"From what I've been able to suss out, the backlash from the spell caused our, uh,..." This time it was Spike who was unable to finish his sentence, breaking off in mid-sentence as he resumed his restless prowling.

"God Spike, would you stop making with the cryptic and spit it out already?" Buffy exclaimed, jumping to her feet.

"Give me a soddin' moment," he grumbled, obviously engaged in a mental battle of wills.

Buffy threw her hands up in frustration. The evening was not progressing like she had pictured, not in the least. "Ok fine, if you're going to be all with the cryptic guy, let's see if I can figure this out." Putting her fisted hands on her hips, she watched the pacing vampire. Gone was the cocky demeanor she was used to dealing with; insecurity now firmly in its place. This was a side of Spike she had never seen.

Buffy tried to think if anything had been different after the spell, and groaned as her walls of denial came crumbling down

She had missed Spike. When he had left, she had thought about him way too much, twisting it around in her head so that the mere thought of his name sparked a violent reaction. Even as vehemently as she had denied the miss-age, that alone didn't make it any less true.

"You said the backlash unlocked something. What did it unlock?"

Spike ceased his pacing momentarily to give her a ghost of a smile. "It took the blinders off, pet. Made us face what... or who we truly desired." He snorted. "Or some form of soddin' mystical bullshit."

Her reaction was not what he had expected. At the very least, he figured there would be an argument spewing forth from her sassy mouth. However it was the resounding laughter that filled the hotel suite that shocked him. Spike watched her with wary eyes as she sank to the floor, leaning back against the couch as rich peals of mirth spilled from her lips.

"Oh god, spike. That is about the lamest thing I've ever heard," she finally gasped.

Spike glared at her. "Also happens to be the bloody truth."

There was a small hiccup followed by a heavy sigh as Buffy finally managed to bring herself under control, fully aware of the volatile vampire who was practically gnashing his teeth at her.

"Yeah, I know," she admitted softly. "But come on, it's funny. Think about it. Only YOU would do a spell to save the supposed love of your life with the end result having to make you face up to your denial and admit that you have the total hots for your mortal enemy."

"It's more than just the hots," Spike grumbled, her laughter stinging. "And I'm not the only one lusting after their mortal enemy, now am I?"

"Hey, don't get grumbly with me, Mr. Impulsive Guy. This isn't MY fault. YOU'RE the one who did the spell." Buffy jumped to her feet and squared off, her indignation fueling her ire.

"I did what I had to do," Spike retorted heatedly, his own frustrations over the situation rising to the fore.

"And YOU were the one who grabbed ME which caused this little unlocking of your hearts' desire thing, right? So there." Buffy stopped suddenly and asked, "Wait, why are we even fighting over this? It doesn't even matter. We've got these feelings. Now we just have to deal. Right?"

"You started it," Spike mumbled, sticking his hands in his pockets.

Buffy snorted derisively and threw herself back down on the couch. "Come here, you big baby." She patted the spot next to her.

Spike didn't settle for sitting next to her however, and Buffy suddenly found herself with a vampire using her lap as a pillow. A small smile found its way to her lips at his antics and her fingers slid through his hair almost of their own accord.

"It's been bloody awful, you know," Spike finally said. "Wanting you. Knowing how wrong it was to bloody want you. Then realizing I had to wait for you."

Buffy realized at that moment exactly what Spike had done. For her.

tbc.
Oh don't grumble. I have the next chapter written already. It's just not ready yet. See? I TOLD you nothing happens. Action comes next chapter.
Reviews give me a happy. :)





You must login (register) to review.