Of course she’d waited up for him the night before. He’d finally come through the door around 11pm.

The look on his face when he realized that she’d stayed up was that of pure awe. When they’d both gone up to bed, they’d done much more than sleep.

And now Buffy lay there, naked under the sheets with him sleeping at her side. He’d went right to sleep. No kiss. No hug. Nothing.

But Buffy couldn’t even get her eyes to close.

What they had just had was sex.

It wasn’t making love. It was sex.

There weren’t kisses or any gestures to hint into love. In fact, she hadn’t heard him say ‘I love you’ since this whole thing started. And it did bother her, damn it.

Something was definitely wrong in this reality. She’d done something to taint their marriage, and it didn’t look like forgiveness was going to be easy. Or even possible.

In the real world, the one where she was a Slayer, Buffy had just been discovering new feelings for Spike. She didn’t know if they were love. She honestly didn’t. But it was something.

In this new world, the feeling of love for Spike and her children were off the scales. So now, the fact that he could hardly look at her…

Well, it hurt like hell.

With nighttime skies still outside, Buffy climbed out of bed without awakening her husband and walked across the room. After slipping her robe on, she carefully exited the room and made her way down the darkened stairwell.

As she shuffled into the kitchen, the harsh light hit her eyes after flipping the switch. She needed something to help her sleep. Because with the thoughts that were racing through her head, she knew that she’d never get to sleep.

After she made her self a cup of warm tea, Buffy made her way into the living room and turned a table lamp on.

As her eyes scanned the room, she found her gaze landing on a thick leather-bound book. A photo album.


Upstairs, Spike couldn’t help the chills he was getting from being alone in the bed. When he turned to see why Buffy wasn’t close to him like she usually was, he found that she wasn’t even in the room.

“Daddy?”

Spike turned toward the small, sleepy voice to find a tired Celeste standing in the doorway. After slipping some boxers on underneath the covers, he held out his arms, signaling that she could come over to him.

“What’s wrong, Princess?”

“I had a bad dream,” she said with a small pout. Ah, her mother’s pout.

“I’m sorry.”

“I dreamed that Mommy went away.”

This perked Spike’s attention up, as he stared at her with confused eyes. “What?”

“Mommy was crying and then she went away. And you made me and Matty get a new Mommy.” It was easy to tell that the five-year-old was on the verge of tears, so Spike quickly reassured her.

“Honey, your mommy isn’t going anywhere, okay?”

She nodded, sniffling a little. “I know it was just a dream,” she agreed but couldn’t stop the tear that fell. “But my friend Ashley says that her mommy went away. She said that her mommy and daddy used to yell. And then she just left.”

“But your mom and I don’t yell,” he assured her, though he knew that he and Buffy didn’t need to yell in order for their to be unbearable tension.

“I know.” She suddenly looked up at him with wide eyes. “Do you still love Mommy?”

Spike’s eyes went so wide that he was sure they were about to fall from their sockets. “What?”

“Ryan says that his Daddy really loves his Mommy. He said they fell on love.”

“You mean ‘fell in love’?”

“Yeah. I think so. Ryan says that his Mommy and Daddy are always doing gross stuff like kissing and saying weird things to each other like ‘your eyes are like big swimming pools’.”

Spike couldn’t help the small grin at his daughter mix up of words.

“So what do Ryan and Ashley’s parents have to do with me, Sweetie?” He asked calmly.

“Because you and Mommy haven’t done gross stuff in long time. And you never told Mama that her eyes were like big swimming pools. Does that mean you fell off of love?”

Spike felt his eyes tearing up, knowing that his daughter had much more insight than she would ever even know. “No, we didn’t fall out of love, Princess.”

“But Mommy seems sad. I don’t want her to leave. Can we make Mama happy tomorrow, Daddy? We should take her somewhere. Like to the swings. I always feel better when I go to the swings.”

Placing a loving kiss on the top of her head, Spike nodded. “Yeah, tomorrow, we’ll make Mom happy.”

“Are you still mad at her?” Celeste asked quietly. Her questions were changing so fast, Spike could hardly keep up with them.

“What?”

“Remember a looong time ago. When Matty was still inside of Mama’s belly?” Spike nodded. “You and Mommy weren’t being nice to each other. And Mommy was sad, and so were you. And I asked you what was wrong. You told me that you were just mad at Mommy for a little while. You said she did something she wasn’t supposed to. Are you still mad at her for it?”

Spike couldn’t even begin to form a reply. Hearing his daughter bring up the touchy subject of what happened between him and Buffy was hard. Finally, he regained himself.

“Sweetheart…I’m not mad at Mommy anymore, okay? We’re still trying to work together to make things right again. But, she’s not going to leave us, alright?” Celeste nodded, seemingly okay with his answer. “How about I go tuck you in again, huh?” She nodded with a grin, already heading back to her room.

Once Celeste was back in her own bed, Spike put on a shirt with his boxers and made his way quietly down the stairs. He stopped at the bottom, seeing a light coming from the living room.

As quietly as he could, he went and stood in the doorway of the living room. There his Buffy was, on the floor with the photo album in her lap. Silent tears were tracking down her cheeks as she tried to keep her pain hidden in the quietness of the house. As he walked over to her, she turned her eyes to meet his. “Sorry if I woke you, I-” Her words were cut off as he lightly grabbed her arm and pulled her off the floor. Before she could question his movements, his lips met hers in a tender, soothing kiss.

She was so wrapped up in her feelings from the real world, and in this alternate reality, that she took the opportunity without question. She found herself thinking that if this was the only moment she got with him like this, she couldn’t survive.

When the kiss finally ended, both of them took in deep breaths, foreheads resting against one another’s.

Spike wasn’t surprised to find his own tears. It’d been so long since they’d been able to connect with love instead of need. “I’m sorry I couldn’t do that sooner,” he whispered out, not trusting his voice.

Buffy just nodded, not knowing how to reply.

What could this alternate reality Buffy have done to screw up this perfect world?

A/N: Thought I’d give you a little bit of Spuffy here before more angst comes. The next chapter will have Spuffy in it too.





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