Chapter 1:
Buffy sat quietly on the bus as the distance between her and what was once Sunnydale, what once was a great hellmouth, grew further and further. She looked around the bus as all of the girls who had made it through the biggest fight of their lives just hours before. Most of them were sleeping, and why wouldn't they be? It had been months since they could rest their heads without fear of what was lurking in the dark or if who they were talking to was really them or The First.
Some, on the other hand, were wide awake. Most of them gazing out the windows of the bus at the moon and stars, while others stared blankly at the seat in front of them. They had lost friends that day, and a few of them had lost a lot more.
Buffy glanced at the empty bus seat across from her where Spike's leather duster hung carelessly over the back. Nobody had sat in that particular seat, either out of respect or the fear of awkwardness Buffy wasn't sure, but she couldn't help but let her eyes settle on it.
I love you.
No you don't, but thanks for saying it.
His words echoed through her mind like a rock thrown in a cave. He would never know how wrong he was. The last few nights that she had spent with him meant more to her than anything else, she had fallen for him hard and fast, she hadn't been lying when she told them that.
You're the one, Buffy.
She turned her face away and blinked back the tears that were welling up in her eyes. She felt the seat next to her dip and was surprised when she looked over and saw Xander, one of her oldest and most loyal friends, sitting next to her.
“Hey.” She whispered.
“Hey,” he replied, “you doing okay?”
Buffy nodded and closed her eyes, “I'll be fine.” She knew that Xander had a strong dislike for Spike, she also knew that he was probably suffering in silence over the loss of Anya. She didn't want to burden him with her heartbreak as well.
“I was wrong, you know,” Xander said, “about Spike. All that time I couldn't see past the heartless, brutal killer that had been our enemy way back when. That guy wouldn't have done what Spike did today, he wouldn't have given up his life just to save a bunch of humans, to save the world.”
Buffy gave him a sad smile. “I know.” She sighed. “It's just not fair, you know? Nobody knows what they did. It'll be like they never even existed.”
“But they did exist,” Xander said, “Spike existed, Anya existed, all of those girls existed. Remember that whenever you see anything nice or beautiful or funny. It exists because they did, without them it wouldn't even be possible for it to be there.”
By now Buffy's tears were streaming down her face and she could tell that Xander wasn't far behind.
“They destroyed the hellmouth and now the world gets to exist for another day.” He said taking a shaky breath. “And even though he was a vampire and she was a demon, that has to count for something.”
Buffy nodded, not trusting her own voice. Xander put a hand on her shoulder, squeezed it, and got up to go back to his seat. As he stood, he reached across the seat and grabbed the duster, holding it out to Buffy.
“I think he would have wanted you to have that.” He said.
She took the duster from his hands and held it close to her, letting Spike's unique scent, a combination of spices and cigarettes, make its way in to her mind and heart. She laid her head down in the seat and pulled her knees up to her chest, covering herself with the old duster as she closed her eyes and hoped for sleep.
The only place she would ever see those sparking blue eyes look at her again.
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It was bright, so incredibly bright. The only thing more vibrant than the brightness was the searing pain he felt as his flesh began to burn, peel, and flake off in to the nothingness below. It felt as if he was being skinned alive while being set on fire by the heat of the sun. It was too much for one creature to take.
And then there was nothing.
He couldn't physically feel, see, touch, or smell anything. The only thing that he could do was think.
He thought about what he had done, he thought about everyone he had saved, but his main thought was on Buffy.
I love you.
He had finally heard her say those three small words, but it was too late. He knew in his heart that she meant it, but if he let his mind know that, he never could have done what he had to do. He couldn't accept that he had worked so long and so hard to gain the love of this girl, of the slayer, just to die a minute later. Instead, he did what he was best at and blew it off with a sarcastic remark. He would regret that if he could, especially after he saw the hurt look race across her features, even if it was only for a second.
She had been there with him, she had cried over his decision, she was fully prepared to face the end with him, and he had sent her away.
He had saved the girl by sacrificing himself, and he would do it again in a heartbeat.
Suddenly, he was overcome with a feeling that could only be described as weight took over his entire being. A blinding white light took over the blankness that was temporarily his reality moments before he felt himself hit the ground hard. He waited as his vision slowly returned to him and when he could see, he realized that he was laying face down on a hardwood floor. He slowly began to pick himself up as his balance seemed to return to him. He looked around and saw that he was in some sort of bar. There was a large stage to his left, and a large bar to his immediate right. He saw a nice sized dance floor outlined by multiple high top tables and booths. He slowly made his way over to the bar and glanced at the liquor selection behind the counter, it was breathtaking. It seemed like every alcohol anyone could ever want was fully stocked and the glasses were cleaner than he had ever seen.
The only thing missing was a door.
Suddenly, the loud click of bright stage lights coming on filled the air and Spike spun around to see someone walk out on the stage. She was beautiful. She had long blonde hair, ironed straight and sticking out at various places, with the perfect smokey eyeshadow and delicate pink lips. She was wearing a tight purple dress that reached to just about mid-thigh and wore tall, strappy black heels on her tiny, perfect feet.
“Hey, Spike,” she said, her voice so melodic it was almost like a song, “been waiting long?”
Spike put his hands in his pockets and raised a scarred eyebrow at the girl. “What the hell is this?” He asked, his voice monotone.
She smiled as she walked forward, off the stage and toward him. “Come on,” she said linking her arm with his, “lets grab a drink at the bar.”
He cautiously followed her over to the bar where the stools pulled out on their own and they both took a seat. She crossed her legs, one over the other, and leaned one elbow on the counter.
“So what'll it be?” She asked, looking at him with dark blue eyes.
“Ah,” he said looking up at his selection, “jack and coke.”
“Keeping it classic, I like it.” She said with a hint of laughter in her voice. The girl snapped her little fingers and two glasses appeared on the counter, one was his jack and coke, the other some girly pink drink with a little umbrella inside. She picked her drink up, bringing it to her lips, and took a slow sip. She giggled a bit when the umbrella raced back and hit her in the nose. She put the drink back on the table and looked happily at Spike.
“Who in the bloody hell are you?” Spike asked, the girls entire behavior seeming incredibly strange and somehow erotic.
She smiled. “I'm Meridiana.”
Spike's head fell forward a bit as he looked at her skeptically. “Meridiana, the succubus who slept with the pope.”
“Mmm-hmm.” She said nodding her head quickly and happily, seeming proud that he knew who she was.
Spike's expression never changed, and he was even more confused now than he was before. “And what do you want from me? If you're offering to make me an incubus thanks but no thanks. I've truly had enough run-ins with women for a hundred lifetimes and really don't want to have to deal with too many of them in the after.”
Meridiana laughed. “That's not what I want from you.” She said.
“Well then what is it?” He asked. “Why am I not in hell with all the other Big Bads?”
Meridiana tilted her head to the side and locked eyes with the vampire sitting across from her. “Let's talk about what you did to get here.”
“I shut the hellmouth,” Spike answered as he took a drink of his jack and coke, “so bloody what.”
“Yes, but why did you do?” Meridiana asked.
Spike thought for a moment, what did she want him to say? “To save the world.”
She tilted her head to the other side. “Closer.” She sang.
Spike stuck his lips out, he was really going to sound like a Nancy boy here. “I did it so that she didn't have to. I did it to...”
“To...” She prodded.
“I did it to save her.” He answered. “I was always saving that girl. Whenever she got in a bind Spikey was right there behind her to bail her out, to save the day.”
“Because you love her.” She said quietly.
Spike nodded sadly as he turned his body away from her and back to the bar. He rested his elbows on the counter and laced his fingers together. “I do.”
Meridiana put one of her tiny hands atop his and he looked over at her, tears forming in his icy blue eyes. “Would you like to see her?”
A single glistening tear made its way down his cheek. “More than anything.”
Meridiana snapped her fingers and suddenly the two were on the bus, riding away from Sunnydale. Spike looked across from him and saw Buffy laying curled up in a ball. His duster was draped over her and she shook softly from the quiet sobs wracking her tiny body. She was gripping one of the sleeves tightly in her hands. Spike reached over to brush his hand across her cheek, but it went right through her. 'Oh yeah,' he thought, 'I'm dead.'
He moved to the seat in front of her and knelt down to look at her face. Her eyes were swollen and puffy from the tears and her cheeks looked as if they would forever be stained. He could see so much pain all bottled up in that fragile body and it was more than he could bare. He could see the worry in her eyes laying just behind the sadness. He knew she was wondering how she was to support Dawn now that everything they ever knew was almost like a bad, non-existent, dream.
“Spike,” she whispered through her tears, “I love you.”
That did it.
“Take me back!” He yelled as he stalked back over to Meridiana. “Take me the hell back!”
Within the blink of an eye, they were back in the bar. Spike was furious. He walked over to one of the high top tables and knocked it hard to the floor, shattering the tabletop, as he kicked the chairs around it across the bar.
“Why in the bleeding hell would you show me that?!” Spike roared.
“You said you wanted to see her.” Meridiana explained, her cheery demeanor replaced with one of pure sympathy for the man currently screaming at her.
“Not like that! Not crying in the seat of some school bus!” He yelled, throwing his fist in to a wall.
“I'm sorry, Spike, I really am.” She said, still calm.
He stalked over to her and grabbed her by the throat before slamming her against the nearest wall. “Give me one bloody reason why I shouldn't end you right now!”
Her eyes met his and he could see the sincerity in them. “Because I'm trying to help you.”
Spike's steely eyes stayed locked with hers for a long moment as he calmed himself down. “What do you mean?” He asked, pronouncing each word slowly and individually.
Meridiana put a gentle hand on Spike's and he slowly released her throat. “Let's sit back down.” She entwined her fingers with his and led him over to one of the tables that he hadn't destroyed with his outburst. “Do you want some food or something? I'm starved.” She snapped her fingers again and a plate of spicy buffalo wings appeared on the table. “My favorite.” She said picking one up and attempting to bring it to her mouth.
Spike's hand shot out again and grasped tightly on to hers. “Meridiana.” he said, his voice low and threatening.
“Okay, fine. All work and no play makes Spikey a dull boy.” She said like a child not getting her way. She dropped the wing, grabbed a napkin, and cleaned off her fingers. “Now, where was I?”
“You said something about helping me.” Spike reminded her.
“Right.” She said quickly. “You know that as a vampire, well, a re-dead vampire, you're supposed to go straight to hell.”
“Yes.” He said.
“Well, sacrificing yourself for someone isn't taken lightly, in fact, it's taken incredibly seriously. It's basically a get out of jail, or hell, free card for humans. And you, well you sacrificed yourself for a whole lot of people.” She explained.
“But I'm not human.” Spike said.
“Right!” Meridiana said, obviously pleased that he was getting it. “And even though you had a soul, we still can't send a vampire in to heaven. It would get all kinds of weird, a big mess.”
“Okay.” Spike said, trying to keep her on track.
“So, what are we supposed to do with you?” She said.
“My thoughts exactly.” Spike muttered.
Suddenly, Meridiana's demeanor seemed to change as she looked at him thoughtfully. “If you had one wish, what would it be?”
“Well, five minutes ago it might have been spicy buffalo wings.” He commented sarcastically.
Meridiana scowled at him. “Let's be serious here, Spike.” She said. Spike scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Like I said, if you had one wish, what would it be?”
“Honestly?” He asked.
“Honestly.”
He sighed, taking a moment before answering. “To be with her. To give us the chance we never had.”
The small smile returned to Meridiana's face. “I can send you back to the world, back to her,” she said softly, “but only if you're willing to pay the price.”
“Yeah?” He said. “And what price might that be?”
Meridiana stood slowly and walked a few feet away from Spike. “As you can see,” she said raising her arms and gesturing around her, “this bar is pretty empty.” She began to walk around the bar slowly, “I'm bored, Spike, really bored. All of the evil in the world is in hell, and since I helped that pope like a million freaking years ago, I'm not exactly welcome there. But,” she said excitedly, “there is still plenty of bad on the earth.”
“So what does that have to do with me?” He asked.
“In exchange for me sending you back, giving you another chance to be with the girl,” she paused, jumping on stage as the lights once again shot back to life, “you are to send me the souls of a thousand evil men.”
Spike nodded. “And what if I say no.”
Meridiana looked off to the side for a moment. “Well, I hadn't thought of that.”
It was now Spike's turn to stand and have the floor. “Alright, I'll take your offer, but I have a few conditions.” Meridiana crossed her arms and cocked her head to the side, regarding him carefully.
“First of all,” he said, “I want all my vampire... stuff back.”
“What do you mean?”
“I want my speed, my strength, my fangs.”
“With the fangs has to come the entire forehead thing, their rule, not mine.” She interjected.
“My...forehead.” He continued as if she hadn't talked. “But, I want to be like, oh sod it, what's the word? Where things can't hurt me, not even a stake or the sun.”
“Invincible?”
“Invincible!” He said. “Yeah, the Invincible William the Bloody.”
Meridiana thought for a moment, nodding her head. “I should probably nix the entire need-to-be-invited-in thing. That's got to be a bother.”
“You have no idea.” Spike said shaking his head subtly as he rolled his eyes.
“Well, if I do all of this for you, then I need you to get me, oh let's say a soul a day.” She said.
“One a week.” He counter offered.
“Five.”
“Three a week, final offer.” He said putting his hand out in a 'back off' sort of way.
She sighed. “Done.” She got up and made her way towards one of the walls of the bar. She snapped and a door appeared.
“Where are you going?” Spike asked.
“It's going to take a while to get everything ready, I'll be back when it's done.” She said.
“How long?” Spike called. There was no answer as she walked through the door and shut it behind her. It instantly disappeared and Spike had nothing to do but sit and wait.
Author's Chapter Notes:
This is my first Spuffy story, please be kind. I'm really, really hoping that you all enjoy this. I'm a bit nervous.
Chapter End Notes:
Please review and let me know if I should continue. Love&Lust. - T.