Breaking Point

Buffy was a jumbled mess of nerves. Spike should have been here beside her with his soothing feelings and reassuring presence. He should have been here with her; instead he was in the other vehicle catering to his girlfriend. His Vampire lover whom he had adored for over a hundred years. Her sister was missing and she needed him damn it! The worst part of it was that she knew deep down that she was being irrational and couldn't help herself. Who else was going to sit in a van full of Vampire's? It was either her or him, and the fact was she needed to sit with her mom, who was wringing her hands and trying valiantly to keep her composure.

"Maybe we should call the police." Her mother said after several miles of heavy silence. No one answered her. Her mom knew why they couldn't call the police. Hello Officer, my daughter has been kidnapped by a hell god; she's about 5"4 with super powers and a frizzy perm. Oh, how do we know who kidnapped her? Because her Vampire guardian was with her and got his ass kicked. We think she might be a mystical key who is really thousands of years old and this Glory God person wants to cut her open and use her blood in an ancient ritual. How do you think we should go about finding her? A white jacket you say? You think she might be hiding in this nice padded room? Blea! But her mom needed to say something and she could understand that.

Buffy chewed on her lip. Spike should be able to track her, if he could find her scent. Just like Angel found him. Couldn't he? But they had to know where to begin looking. "Giles, do we know anything about where this ritual might take place?"

"I'd like to find her before it comes even close to that Buffy." Her Watcher replied with his usual calm in the face of adversity. She found herself grateful for his steadfast presence, even if she did miss Spike terribly.

"I'd like to know where to start looking."

"The nicer hotels. I mean really, she's got to have somewhere to sleep and plan. She's been on this planet for a matter of weeks and already she has decked herself in Versace. The girl has taste. Those shoes must have cost a fortune."

"I doubt she paid for them Cordelia! What do her shoes have to do with my missing sister?" Buffy really was not in the mood for Cordelia's nattering. She didn't know why Angel thought she had changed so much, she still seemed like the same shallow stuck up girl she'd been in high school. With shorter hair.

"It's very simple Buffy." The beauty queen spoke very slowly as if to make sure that Buffy understood her. "This Glory woman needs a new hairdresser, but that doesn't change the fact that she has undeniably refined tastes. She won't be huddling in the sewers and she won't be slumming in some dump. She's new in town so I doubt she has an open invitation to anywhere decent. So naturally you should check out the higher class hotels. Nothing below four stars, obviously."

Buffy really hated Cordelia's overbearing attitude. She thought she knew everything, except math or science…she had never pretended to be book smart. But Cordelia did know boys. She had always insisted that there was an actual set of rules that must be followed in order to have a successful romance. Her rules must not have done her must good though, because she had yet to have a successful romance that resulted in marriage.

She really ought to be focusing on how to get her sister back. Every time she thought about Dawn she shuddered. She kept picturing her body, bruised and broken. Her hair framing her pale, bloodless face. How much pain was involved with this Glory's ritual? She couldn't bring herself to ask…especially in front of her mother. She felt soothing feeling's coming from her bond with Spike and was absolutely disgusted with herself for being pleased. But even when he was with Drusilla, he was focused on her.

She was an emotional roller coaster right now and she wished she had Spike here to focus her. Cordelia was rambling on about shoe quality. God! Didn't she even care that Angel was beyond hurting, Dawn was missing, and the end of the world was coming? But then again, Buffy couldn't miss the tightness around the ex-cheerleaders eyes, her pale features. Buffy could almost believe that she was just chattering to fill the silence so she didn't have to focus on her own worries. She closed her eyes for a moment and thought of her own distraction. Spikes pale hands gliding over her skin, the way his eyes burned into hers, his ragged "I love you, love you so much Buffy" whispered in her ear as he came inside her. But everyone knew that I Love You didn't count when it was said during sex.
"How long till we get home Giles?" Buffy interrupted Cordelia's incessant chatter and couldn't find it within herself to feel even slightly guilty about her rudeness.

"We'll be there soon Buffy." He paused, and for a moment the air was pregnant with heavy silence while he visibly struggled with how to word his next sentence. "I know this a rough time for you Buffy, and I know this is a bit of a delicate situation…with uhm your uh relationship with Spike. But the truth is we should ah, discuss a bit, before we arrive, what we plan to do with the Van full of vampire's that will be on our doorstop when we get to Revello Drive."

"Angel and Spike aren't going to let us stake Drusilla, and she isn't going to let us stake her minions." Buffy sighed. "I hate letting Vamps go but really, my sister and the end of the world is a little more important right now."

"Buffy, we can't simply let them go. They will hunt someone right here in Sunnydale. You have a calling, you have a duty. I know that right now is a hard time for you personally but you are still the Slayer. You must…"

"Stop it!" Buffy's voice came out shrill and undignified. Tears pooled in her eyes unbidden. How could he be so cold? He knew Dawn. How could he go on about her duty? Fuck her duty! "Stop it right now!" Buffy couldn't control the tempo of her breathing, she was panting heavily, and her nails were biting into her skin because her hands were curled into tight little balls of fury.

"The world is in jeopardy! This Glory has my sister and is going to torture and kill her. I'm mated to a Sadistic killer who cares more about my feelings than you do! How sick and wrong is that!" She let out a strangled sob and swallowed a big gasp of air, even as more words tumbled recklessly from her mouth. "A Vampire knows me better than my Watcher. How dare you lecture me about my duty! I know my duty! I've died for my duty. Just last week I was prepared to die again! How dare you!"

"Buffy dear, just calm down." Her mothers soothing voice and concerned features did nothing to calm her. Everything had been piling up on her for so long and suddenly she couldn't control her emotions, or her mouth, or her tears. She hated that she had wet streaks on her cheeks. She hated to cry.

"I will not calm down!" Her voice was high pitched and ragged and Buffy couldn't believe that it was hers. "I've done everything that's been asked of me, including his sick little birthday surprise! I mention perhaps choosing my battles and setting priority's at save the world first and kill a couple Vamps later, who helped us by the way, and suddenly I'm inadequate as a Slayer!"

Giles put the Blazer into park outside her home and turned to face her. "Now Buffy, that's enough of this childishness…I was just saying that…"

Her door was yanked open and she was hauled against a solid male chest. A wall of soothing masculinity that smelled like Spike. "What the bloody hell are you doing to my girl?" He snarled at the car full of people. Buffy felt shame building inside her even as she let out great gasping sobs against her mate, wetting his shirt. She was ashamed of how she had acted. Just because she was stressed did not give her the right to snap and scream at people she loved. They looked to her for leadership and she was falling apart under the pressure. She needed to get it together. Instead she twisted her hands in Spike's shirt and cried.

"Luv," He whispered against her ear, a soft soothing sound that rumbled through her senses. "I need you to go inside on your own steam sweets. I've got to clear these Vamps out of here and carry Peaches in." His voice turned harsh and he turned the bulk of his formidable attention to her friends. "You lot go in with her, and stay out of trouble. I find out you made her cry again I'll rip out your soddin spine's and dance on your bloody corpses." For a moment he nuzzled her hair before whispering so softly that she could barely hear him. "We'll get her back Buffy, I promise."

She was released and hastily dried her face with her hands before turning to herd the people into the house. She couldn't fall apart now. She felt wrung out and shaky, but her emotions had evened out somewhat. She supposed the experts knew what they were talking about when they said that crying was good for the soul. As well as someone to lean on. She gave Spike a wobbly smile as she followed her shocked friends and family into the house.

She reclined by the window and watched as Spike waved his arms and paced a bit, talking to the other Vampires. Obviously giving them instructions. The two newer Vampires seemed clearly frightened, and Drusilla looked very very angry. Spike swept out a foot, sending the larger Vampire sprawling on the concrete driveway. He then hauled him up to his knees by his flannel shirt so he could hiss in his face. Drusilla yanked the Vamp out of his grasp and let him tumble to the ground uncaringly, stepping up close to Spike to get in his face. Buffy looked away from the scene and met the eyes of her Watcher. The room was deathly silent and no one else met her eyes. "We wait for Spike, we care for Angel, and then we plan. We're taking my sister back. We're killing Glory. And nothing takes precedence over that. Everyone got it?"

There were solemn nods around the room, and even Faith had nothing to say about it. Her mother gave Buffy a long sad look before excusing herself to fix refreshments. Moments later she got to her feet and opened the door for Spike, who had Angel easily slung across his forearms. He seemed to have passed out from the pain. She had Spike take Angel upstairs and put him in her bed. He frowned but didn't protest. He fidgeted nervously for a moment before rocking back on his heels and taking up a cocky stance. "Those knees must hurt something awful."

"Yeah, you think I should give him my blood?" She looked down at Angel, concerned and worried. She couldn't even imagine the pain he must be in. Poor Angel. He'd tried so hard to defend Dawn. She knew how tender his heart was, he must be all torn up inside about not being able to save her.

"HELL NO!" She turned and fought valiantly to keep her lips strait at the site of his furious features. "I've got some painkillers coming." He said in a forcefully strained voice. He was trying so hard not to be mad at her.

"You sent Dru and her goons to get someone!" Buffy was suddenly having trouble controlling her own temper. God! She had just told everyone that they had priorities and Spike, her lover and mate, had sent his girlfriend on a killing spree.

"Relax Slayer," Spike whipped out his pocket knife and began to cut Angel's pants off above the knee. He moaned and moved and Spike braced one hand on his thigh to keep him still. "I made sure that they knew they weren't to kill anyone. Dru was right pissed about minding the Slayer but I'm confident she'll do as she's told. I told her I would dust her boys if I found out she'd harmed a hair on anyone's head."

She reached out and held Angel's limp hand as Spike efficiently peeled the blood soaked strips of material off of the elder Vampire. "Ruining my reputation. Slayer's lapdog I am, just like the great pouf. I'll never live this down." He muttered, assessing the damage with the cool practiced air of a physician. There was a knock at the window and Spike waved her over to it. She slid the window open to find a very frightened spacey eyed woman being held by her arms by the larger Vampire. She took the frightened woman by the hand and helped her through the window without issuing an invitation. "Run along infant." Spike snapped at the Vampire. "And if I find out you haven't been taking proper care of Dru you'll be praying for dust."

"Had him bring her up here so you're groupies wouldn't be giving you the evil eye." Spike said simply, eyeing the girl critically. "Skinny thing isn't she. Idiot has no eye for quality. Angelus wouldn't have given spoils like her a second glance in the day." He turned his knife on his own forearms, dripping blood over Angel's knees. Buffy turned away and focused on the woman whose hand she still held. She was little more than a girl, maybe twenty years old. Her eyes were wide and frightened and her gaze darted towards the door.

"I'm not really into Sado-Machism. Rick didn't say anything about that when he said he had a job for me." She said edging towards the door. Buffy stood helplessly, she wanted to help Angel but she was not going to victimize anyone. She was the Slayer and it was her job to protect people. Even drug addict prostitutes. She twitched violently and stopped moving towards the door, her eyes wide as they could go. Spike pulled a fourth hundred dollar bill from Angel's wallet and laid it on top of the other three on the bedside table.

She pushed her long lanky hair back from her face as if trying to get a better view and took a hesitant step in the direction of the money. "I'm not going to let you guys hurt me." She said rather bravely, but she never met Spike's eyes. Her gaze was only on the crisp bills only six feet from her. She twitched unnaturally and shifted from one foot to the other in a haunting swaying dance.

"We ain't gonna hurt you pet. And we ain't gonna kill you. We just need a little blood, strait from the tap, and you can go. And take that money right there with you."

"You want my blood?" Buffy turned from the horrified look on the girls face and left the room. She was a horrible lousy excuse for a Slayer. She walked down the hall to the bathroom, locked the door, and sat down on the stool and buried her head in her hands, unable to even cry. She wasn't in there long before Spike picked the lock and knelt down in front of her.

"It's over sweets. We didn't hurt her, and I got her downstairs safe." She couldn't bring herself to touch him. She wanted to through herself in his arms and drown in his kisses. Instead she wrapped her arms around herself and stood stiffly.

"I've got to check on Angel. Is he awake?"

"Yeah pet, he is." Spike seemed slightly alarmed with her distance. "We didn't hurt her." He repeated.

But this was something he couldn't understand. He had no soul, he had no guilt. And he would never understand what walking out of that room had cost her. She had just been rather forcefully reminded of what he was. And what she was. She made sure not to brush up against him when she edged around him and walked back to her bedroom.







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