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Spike spent all Thursday morning a nervous wreck. He hadn't talked to Buffy since the few hours they'd stolen while Riley had played golf. What if she'd changed her mind? What if Riley hadn't left? Spike wasn't sure he could stand being away from her any longer.

When Spike finally heard a knock at his door, he ran to it, stopping only once his hand was on the doorknob. He took a deep breath, reminding himself that he was an adult and not some desperate schoolboy. He opened the door, giving Buffy a slow, sexy smile. "Here already?" he asked.

"As if I could stay away from you." Buffy walked in, carrying a small duffle bag with her. "Hope you don't mind that I brought a few things with me. I didn't really want to have to leave once I got here."

Spike wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her close. "That's fine. I don't want you leaving either. Although, I do hope you didn't waste your time and pack a lot of clothes." He waggled his eyebrows at her.

Buffy's bag dropped to the ground as Spike leaned in and kissed her. After a moment, Buffy pulled away, smiling lazily at Spike. "Hmm…seems like someone missed me."

"You know I did, pet."

Buffy moved out of his arms, giving him a wink. "Meet you in the bedroom." She took off, running towards the hall.

"Minx!" Spike called after her, running to catch up with her. She got to the edge of the bed, and Spike tackled her, the two of them collapsing onto the mattress in a fit of laughter. After a moment, Spike rolled with her, pinning Buffy beneath him with her arms above her head.

"Now that you've caught me, what are you going to do with me?" Buffy asked.

"Dunno. Maybe I should tie you up so you can't escape again."

Buffy tried to make her expression serious, though a small smile was tugging at the corner of her mouth. "You better do that. Keep me from running away like a bad, bad girl."

Spike grinned down at her, the pain he'd felt before melting away now that Buffy was back in his arms. She could make him feel as if all was right with the world.

*** *** ***

"Tell me about Drusilla."

Spike froze. Why was Buffy asking him about his ex-wife of all people? They'd just spent hours having amazing sex, and now all he wanted was to lay there with her in his arms and bask in the afterglow, not talk about the train wreck that was his marriage. "Why?"

"I don't know, I just… How did you meet her?"

Spike let out a deep breath. He could tell from the look in Buffy's eyes that she wasn't just going to let this go. Maybe he could make it quick and painless. "Do you remember the woman I mentioned a while back, Cecily?"

"The one you wrote the poetry for?"

"Yeah. I was at a party, and I finally got the nerve to tell Cecily how I felt. She rejected me, and Dru found me afterwards, and I guess we just clicked."

"I dropped a book on Riley's head."

"Excuse me?"

"That's how I met him. I went to college for a bit, before my mom got sick. I was getting my textbooks, and I dropped one on Riley's head." Buffy laughed, but there was no humor in the sound. "Maybe I should've taken that as an omen and gotten the hell out."

Spike wondered what brought on Buffy's sudden need to talk about Dru and Riley. Was it some form of guilt or was she simply commiserating with him on their failed marriages? Spike frowned. But hers wasn't a failed one, not really anyway. She was still Mrs. Finn, and she still wore his ring—though it had pleased Spike to notice she hadn't been wearing it when she'd come over that afternoon. "Do you wish you had?"

"Had what?"

"Gotten out then?"

Buffy paused for a second. "I don't know."

Spike hadn't expected her to say yes, but it still hurt when she didn't. However, what she said next quickly made up for it.

"I wouldn't have met you. Riley picked out our house, moved us in. If I hadn't married him, then I wouldn't live next door to you, and we wouldn't have this."

"If I hadn't have married Dru, I never would've moved to the States. She wanted to come here, not me."

"So without them, we wouldn't have each other."

"Possibly. You believe in fate, pet?"

"Fate? What about fate?"

"Maybe we were meant to meet. Instead of meeting because of them, we met in spite of them. Like this was destined."

Buffy turned her head away from him. "I don't believe in fate," she said. "Just random events, stringing together to form your life. Nothing destined about it."

Spike kissed the crown of her head. "I don't put much stock in fate myself. Just musing."

Buffy turned back, snuggling close to him. "I like this bit of randomness, though."

"Me, too," Spike replied, running his fingers through her hair. "You're the best thing that's ever happened to me, Buffy."

Buffy looked at him, startled. "You have to have had better things in your life than this…"

"My life hasn't been all that interesting, pet."

"I don't know if I believe that," Buffy said, reaching up to trace the scar on his eyebrow. "How'd you get this?"

"Knife fight in China."

"Knife fight in China? And you're telling me your life isn't interesting. How'd you manage to get into a knife fight in China?"

Spike blushed. "That's a long story I'd rather not get into, kitten." He stroked her cheek. "Right now, I'd rather just kiss you more."

"Mmm. More kissing sounds good," Buffy said, craning her neck slightly to meet his descending lips. Spike wrapped his arms tightly around her, and Buffy forgot all about Spike's past loves and scars.

*** *** ***

Spike sat nervously on the other side of the couch, watching Buffy as her eyes scanned the page she held in her hand. He wasn't sure why he'd agreed to let her read what he had so far of his novel, other than she had asked, and he couldn't ever seem to bring himself to tell her no. Usually, he didn't let anyone read anything he wrote when it was still this rough, but she'd looked at him with wide, pleading eyes, and he'd found himself printing off everything he'd written as of yet, just because she wanted it. Spike frowned. He'd sworn after Drusilla he'd never let himself be love's bitch again, and yet, here he was.

Buffy had been reading for almost an hour. Her facial expressions had changed from time to time, but she'd said nothing, and Spike was growing nervous. What if she hated it? He usually didn't take the opinion of one person too seriously, but where Buffy was concerned, that rule changed. If she said it was terrible, he'd be tempted to delete everything he had and start all over again.

Finally, Buffy looked up, setting the pile of papers on her lap. "I like it." Spike smiled, relieved. "But I don't like Charlotte," she added.

Spike's smile quickly dropped away. "You don't like Charlotte? Why don't you like Charlotte?"

Buffy shrugged. "I don't know, there's just something about her. Why does Jack like her?"

"Why wouldn't he like her?" Spike asked. "She's gorgeous."

"That's not reason enough. I mean, Jack's this cool detective guy. If he wants a girl just for her looks, he can find one better than Charlotte."

"He's not just in it for her looks! Charlotte speaks to his soul."

Buffy rolled her eyes. "Lame. Charlotte is trouble, and Jack should be smart enough to see it." Buffy paused for a second, then announced. "I think Charlotte's the killer."

"Charlotte is not the killer."

"How do you know? She could be."

"How do I… I bloody wrote it!"

"Whatever. She seems like a killer to me."

"Well, she's not. Why would she kill her own brother?"

"I don't know...inheritance money?"

"What inheritance money?"

Buffy sighed. "Maybe they have a rich uncle or something, but since Max was older, he'd get the money, and Charlotte wanted to prevent that."

"That's not in the story."

"Well, it could be."

"No. There is no inheritance money, Jack loves Charlotte, and she is not the killer."

"I think he'd be better with Ellie."

"Ellie! She's the plucky sidekick, not the love interest."

"They seemed like they had chemistry to me."

Spike took the manuscript away from her. "You don't know the first thing about writing."

"No, but I do know the first thing about reading, and if I read this to the end, and Jack got with Charlotte, I'd just go 'ugh.'"

"My writing makes you go 'ugh?'"

"It would if Jack ended up with that bitch Charlotte."

"She's not a bitch. She's…guarded."

Buffy rolled her eyes. "Please. Total bitch. That part where she snapped at Ellie when Jack was out of the office getting sandwiches was completely uncalled for."

"I'll admit she's snippy at times, but…"

"At times! What about the way she treated that valet. Totally uncalled for."

"She was upset!"

"Yes, an upset little bitch."

"Can we talk about something else?" Spike asked.

"I was just trying to give you my honest opinion," Buffy said, noticing Spike's rapidly clouding mood. "I liked it, though."

"Just not one of the main characters," he muttered.

"Hey, you don't have to like the characters to like something," Buffy said. "I've watched television shows before and absolutely hated the main character. Like Felicity. Boy, was she ever whiny…"

Spike smiled a little at that. "I'll keep in mind what you said about Charlotte, but I'm not guaranteeing any changes…"

Buffy shrugged. "Your book. But I still say Ellie and Jack are meant to be."

Spike rolled his eyes, knowing that once Buffy got an idea in her head, nothing he said or did was going to make her change it.

*** *** ***

If Spike made a list of his favorite things to do, taking a bubble bath probably wouldn't be on it. But with Buffy there with him, it made a quick debut near the top.

"I like your hair when it's damp," Buffy said, stroking his chest with her foot. "Those curls are adorable."

"You're just saying that because you didn't see me when I was younger. First, I had a total Bozo the Clown look, and then I tried brushing them out, which just made them all puffy."

Buffy giggled. "I bet you were still cute."

"Hardly."

Buffy moved forward, giving Spike a quick kiss before using one finger to put a small dollop of bubbles on the end of his nose. "Cute."

Spike wiggled his nose. "Hey!" he said, wiping the bubbles away. "Watch it with that."

Buffy slid to the other end of the tub, giggling. "Aw, did I upset the big bad Spikey?"

Spike glared at her, but his heart was leaping his chest. He loved seeing Buffy like this, happy and playful. Her smile was the most wonderful sight in the world to him, and he felt like he never saw enough of it. Spike came after her, resting his arms on either side of her and pinning her in. "Careful, pet. This big bad might bite."

Buffy giggled again, but her hand went up to her hair that she had carefully piled on top of her head before they'd gotten in the tub. "I don't want to get my hair wet."

Spike leaned in, his lips against her ear. "Then we better get some place dry in a hurry, because I'm not sure how much longer I can be this close to your naked body and not ravage you."

Buffy's entire body shivered. "Dry…ravage…ravage good"

Spike got out of the tub, then helped Buffy up as well. He picked up a big fluffy towel from the edge of the sink and wrapped Buffy in it, rubbing her gently to dry her. Then he quickly dried himself off before picking Buffy up and carrying her to the bedroom. He lay her down on the bed, and Buffy pulled off the towel, letting his eyes roam her body. Spike just stared for a moment, in awe of the golden goddess who had taken residence in his bed.

"I'm feeling decidedly unravaged here," Buffy said after a moment, looking up at him impatiently.

Spike smirked. "Guess we'll have to fix that, then." He lay down beside her, carefully taking out the pins she'd put in her hair, then running his fingers through it like a comb. "You know I love this hair. So soft, thick. And the way it bounces when you…" Spike gave her a look that made Buffy's entire body feel like it was set afire. "S'not the only thing I love about you, though. I love your skin, all smooth and tan. Not a bit of it's anything but perfect. And your eyes…" Spike kissed each of Buffy's eyelids softly. "Feels like they can look right through me. Course, there are other things about you I'm rather fond of, too." Spike grinned.

Buffy reached up, tracing the line of his cheekbone with her thumb. "Spike…I need you."

"Buffy…" Spike replied, letting out a ragged breath. He kissed a hot trail down her body, reveling in the salty-sweet flavor of her skin. Buffy sighed happily, burying her fingers in Spike's hair as he settled between the apex of her legs. When he reached out with his tongue, giving her a long, leisurely taste, Buffy cried out, her grip in his hair become tighter. Spike smiled against her as he pleasured her, thinking about how it hadn't been too long ago since she'd insisted that she didn't like this. He was proud to be the first one to show her how good it could be.

Buffy cried out in release, her hips bucking wildly, her hands pulling his hair hard enough to hurt. Spike moved up immediately, pushing inside her before her orgasm had subsided. Her cries became screams as the feel of him suddenly filling her triggered another orgasm right on the heels of the last one. She grabbed his arms, holding on as he plunged in and out of her, making her see stars behind her eyes.

Spike collapsed on top of her, and Buffy reached up with an unsteady arm, stroking the muscles of his back. "So bloody perfect," he muttered, kissing the side of her face. Reluctantly, he rolled over, lying on his back beside Buffy. Her body immediately rebelled at the loss of him, and she rolled herself, setting against his chest.

"No one's ever made me feel the way you do," Buffy said softly.

"Same to you, pet," Spike replied, his hands gently threading through her hair.

"Not even Drusilla?"

Spike shook his head. "No. Not even Drusilla."

Buffy smiled to herself. She hated to admit it, but she was jealous of Spike's ex-wife, despite the fact that she'd never met the woman. The way he'd spoken of her before made it clear that she'd cast a shadow over his life, and Buffy couldn't help but wonder how she compared to another woman who'd made such an impact on her lover. She lifted her head just enough to kiss his chest, and then settled down again. "Can we just freeze this moment?" Buffy asked. "Stay here, just like this, forever?"

"Would if we could, kitten."

Buffy took Spike's hand, entwining her fingers with his. Whenever Riley held her hand, it felt like hers was being engulfed, but with Spike, their hands just seemed to fit. Buffy frowned, pushing that thought away. She wasn't supposed to be thinking about fitting with Spike, or being jealous of ex-wives. She was just supposed to enjoy what they did together, and let herself feel for once.

"Good night, my goldilocks," Spike said softly, kissing her hair.

"Good night," Buffy murmured back, smiling at the feel of him still stroking her hair. It warmed her heart to think of him, being so attracted to something as simple as her hair. She had always been convinced that she could shave it off, or dye it purple, and Riley wouldn't even notice, but Spike seemed to like her hair just as much as any other part of her body. There was something endearing about that.

Buffy smiled as she drifted off to sleep.

*** *** ***

Buffy glared at the clock, cursing Riley for being late. He was should've been home two hours ago, but he wasn't—meaning she'd spent two hours at home that she could've spent with Spike.

"Stupid late Riley," Buffy muttered under her breath, flipping through the channels. She sighed in exasperation, shutting the television off. She wasn't waiting up anymore. She was tired, and it wasn't like she really wanted to see Riley when he got home anyway.

Buffy froze as that thought made its way through her brain. Since when had she not wanted to see her husband? Since she'd started spending every moment Riley was gone with Spike, that was when. Buffy felt the guilt returning. Riley had always been a good husband. He didn't deserve her not wanting to be around him just because she'd chosen to start an illicit affair with her neighbor.

Buffy went into the bedroom and changed into her nightclothes. She looked at herself in the mirror, not sure of what she saw. She'd spent the past few years defining herself through Riley, becoming completely immersed in the identity of his wife. But when she was in Spike, her thoughts of Riley drifted away, and she became something else entirely. It scared her, the thought of losing the stable life she'd let Riley build for her, letting herself take whatever it was Spike was offering when he looked into her eyes.

Was it love? Buffy's stomach flipped at the thought, and she wasn't sure if it was good or bad. She couldn't love Spike. She'd sworn to love only Riley, for the rest of her life. And Spike couldn't possibly love her. It was just a fling to both of them. Hot now, but it would burn itself out eventually. She tried to ignore how badly the thought of no longer being with Spike hurt.

"No," Buffy said to her reflection. "Love doesn't even enter into it."

Buffy climbed into the bed, closing her eyes and dreaming that she could still feel Spike's arms around her.

*** *** ***

TBC…

Yes, Buffy's living in that magical fantasy land known as denial… Sorry for the gap in postings again. I had a bit of writer's block. Leave me lots of good reviews, and maybe that'll keep it from happening again… *big smile*





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