Leaving Heaven had been a choice – a choice she’d made for him. To be with him.
What was this going to mean for them now that she remembered? Did she regret it? Had he let her down by not giving her enough after she’d sacrificed Heaven for him? Was she…
He blinked, pulled out of his thoughts when she snapped her fingers in his face. “Hello? You in there, Spike? I just reveal this totally major thing and all you can do is stare at me and do that head tilt you’re always doing? You talk all the time. Now would be a good time to keep up with that.”
“I…” Spike took a deep breath and let it out. “I just have no bloody idea what to say.”
“You could say you love me and you’re glad I came back for you,” Buffy offered.
“I could say that and not get punched in the face?”
“Yes, you could…” Buffy ran her hand along his face instead, her touch gentle against his cool skin. However, Spike ducked away from her, and Buffy looked at him with hurt in her eyes. “Spike…?”
“Buffy, I do love you and I am glad you’re here with me, but… Fuck, you’ve been so bleedin’ miserable, Slayer. You said being back here is like being in Hell for you, and to know you came back because I couldn’t be strong enough to let you go on, I… I’m so sorry, Buffy. I didn’t mean to do that to you. If I’d known… God, if I’d known you were happy where you were, I…”
“I wasn’t happy, Spike,” Buffy interjected. “Didn’t you just hear me say I left because I wanted to?”
“Because of me,” Spike replied softly.
“Yeah, because of you. Because I wanted to be with you. Because I’d rather be with you than be in Heaven. Because I love you.”
“But, Buffy, you…” Spike stopped short as her words sunk in. “Wait…what did you just say?”
Buffy rolled her eyes. “I said I love you, you big dope. And no, I don’t regret coming back. We’d both know I was lying if I said the transition wasn’t difficult, but I think it was worth it.”
“Yeah. Say that first part of that again?”
“You’re a dope?” Buffy teased.
“The other part,” Spike replied, grinning because he couldn’t not. Not after she’d said…
“I love you, Spike.”
He knew he’d never tire of hearing that. And if Edmund and Isobel’s presence over six centuries after they met was any indication, he was going to be hearing it for a long time.
“So just to make sure I’m getting all of this straight, you’re here now because you asked to come back from Heaven to be with me because you love me.”
“Yes. Do I need to make a sign? Maybe grab some pom-poms and do a cheer?”
“Don’t need the sign, though I may take a rain-check on the other one.”
“Gee, why doesn’t that surprise me?” Buffy bounced slightly on the sarcophagus. “Okay, now that we’ve talked, and I’ve said all this big, hard for me to say stuff, can we finally get around to the sex?”
“Damn, Slayer, you sure are randy today.”
Buffy ducked her head shyly. “I want to prove I can be good.”
“Um, I’m not sure where you’ve been these past few weeks, pet, but you’ve more than proved that. Repeatedly.”
“No, I mean…” Buffy sighed. “I want to prove that I can be something other than a selfish bitch. That I can take your desires into account, and that I can really let myself be there with you emotionally. And, you know, not kick you in the head and run away as soon as it’s over.”
“Sweetheart, you don’t have to prove any of that to me,” Spike told her as he tucked her hair that had fallen in front of her face back behind her ear. “It’s okay.”
“I know, but… I need to prove it to myself, Spike. I remember now how much you hurt after I jumped, and I need to know that I can make that better instead of worse.”
“Buffy, you don’t…”
She didn’t want to hear what he was going to say. It didn’t matter. Words didn’t matter now. She had to show him – show both of them – that things were going to be different now. She grabbed his face and silenced him with a kiss, pulling him hard against her mouth until he was responding with full force, his arms wrapping around her waist and bringing her even closer to him.
Spike stood up, one strong arm still around her waist as Buffy dangled at his side, her arms firm around his neck. He carried her like that into the lower level of the crypt, refusing to let go, even when they tumbled together onto the bed.
“I don’t want to rush things this time,” Buffy said as her back hit the mattress. “I don’t want it to just be about getting off.”
“I know, luv,” Spike replied with a soft kiss to her forehead. “Me either.”
Buffy ran her fingers along his bicep, shivering at the feel of cool skin taut over firm muscles. He was gorgeous, masculine perfection all wrapped up in black denim and leather, and Buffy was finally going to allow herself to savor it.
She was tired of denying herself a true taste of something even better than Heaven.
Spike brought his lips to hers and Buffy opened her mouth for him, letting him kiss her deeply. Neither of them tried to push things further, content for the time being with kisses and gentle touches. Spike curled one arm around her while his other hand came up to play with her hair, and Buffy brought her hands to his back, lightly caressing him through the fabric of his t-shirt.
This was nice… For once, she didn’t feel pressured to do anything but what she wanted. For once, it didn’t matter that she was the Slayer and he was a vampire. She loved this man and that was okay. Who they were outside of the bedroom had no bearing on her feelings, and finally, she was ready to accept that.
She would’ve done it a long time ago if she’d realized how liberating it truly was.
“Mmm…love you,” she murmured softly against his lips, smiling as she felt a tremble pass through Spike at her words.
“Love you, too,” he told her, his breath coming in cool pants. “Love you so much. I’d do anything to make you happy.”
“I know, baby. And you are making me happy. Very happy,” she assured him with a gentle nip to his bottom lip. “And it feels like I’m making you pretty happy, too.”
“Mmm…you are,” Spike said, pushing the bulge in his jeans against the junction of her thighs.
When Buffy thrust her own hips in response, Spike figured it was probably time to move things along a bit. As much as he loved kissing her, his body was pushing for more, needing to feel all of the delectable heat she had to offer. He trailed his hand beneath her shirt, pushing the cup of her bra out of the way to caress one of her breasts. Buffy hummed her approval before, arching her back to press her breast against his roughened palm.
Buffy never talked much during sex. Moaned, panted, and screamed, sure, but actual words were few and far between. And the ones she did say tended to be hot and nasty, spit out at the height of passion. She didn’t praise him, didn’t let him know how she felt beyond that she did in fact like it fast and hard.
She resolved to change that. She knew Spike well enough to know that words meant something to him. She knew the experience would be better for him if she vocalized to him how good he made her feel, gave him encouragement with something other than the movements of her body.
“I love your hands, Spike,” she told him, whimpering as his thumb began to circle the tip of her nipple. “So…so strong, and…oh god…cool… I get so hot for you and then…ooh…your touch feels so intense against my skin.”
“Buffy…” Spike moaned, his eyes sliding shut for a moment as he tugged at her sensitized nipple, making her pant. She could tell from his reaction that she was right about how he’d respond to her praise, and she decided to keep it up, let him know how good he made her feel.
“Yeah, just like that, Spike… Feels so amazing when you play with my tits. Sometimes I think I could come just from that…” He bucked against her, pinching her nipple, and Buffy smiled. She decided to change from her usual tactics in another way, too, and tell him what she wanted instead of just shoving whatever body part she wanted where she wanted it and expecting him to service her.
“Can you suck on them now, baby?” she asked, the husky, aroused sound of her voice making Spike shake again. “You’ve got such an amazing mouth…”
She quite clearly didn’t have to ask him twice. Spike’s eyes were dark with lust as he pulled her shirt over her head and deftly unhooked her bra, leaving her chest bare. He continued to caress one of her breasts, while his mouth went to the other, licking and sucking the firm mound with Buffy’s fingers tangled in his soft, pale hair, holding him where she needed him.
Spike clamped around her nipple with blunt teeth, and Buffy let out a short, loud yell. Spike glanced up at her, his eyes asking if she liked that, and she nodded, pushing his head back down. He alternated between licks and bites to both the nipple and the mound, driving Buffy out of her mind.
An image popped into her head, and Buffy couldn’t seem to get rid of it. She’d always secretly longed for Spike to bite her, but fear and self-loathing had kept her from asking for it, while worries over losing her had kept Spike silent on the matter as well. But she remembered how careful Edmund had been with Isobel, and she had no doubt that Spike would show her the same consideration.
She also knew how good it could feel…
“Bite me there, Spike,” she begged him, her words a heated whisper. “Please. I want it. I want it…”
Spike gazed up at her in confusion. He was biting her. What did she…
Oh.
His eyes widened as realization hit, and as much as his cock leapt up at the prospect of what she was asking for, he was terrified to give in. They were doing so well. What if he bit her and it freaked her out and then she changed her mind and ran away again?
Spike pressed a soft kiss to her breast and shook his head. “No.”
No? Buffy stared down at him in disbelief. She was offering him Slayer blood – in a very erotic way, no less – and he was turning it down? She knew there was no way he could be saying no because he didn’t actually want to do it. That just defied all logic and the rules governing what constituted reality. Which could only mean he was reluctant because he was afraid she’d freak out on him again.
“Spike, I’m not gonna be mad. Please… I really want it.”
He squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head. “No.”
“But I want your fangs.”
Spike could hear the pout in her voice and knew he shouldn’t open his eyes and look. That pout of hers…it was his bloody Kryptonite, and apparently, she knew it as well as he did. Still, he opened his eyes, looked at her pitiful, pleading expression, and was completely at her mercy.
“Please, baby?” she asked softly. “I’m so hot…so wet… I need your fangs inside me.”
When she put it that way, how could he possibly turn her down? Sure, she could go insane again and stake him for daring to bite her even if she had asked for it, but at least he’d dust happy.
Spike raised up just long enough to take off his own shirt before he was at her breasts again. Her nipples were tight from the cool air and her arousal, and the sight of them made his mouth water. He could hardly believe he was actually going to get a chance to taste her blood after spending so many years craving it. He’d never wanted to drink from someone as badly as he wanted to from her.
Now if he could just do it without coming in his pants and embarrassing the hell out of himself…
He opened the fly of her jeans as he continued to lick her breast, making her pant and squirm again. He slid his hand past her panties, finding her bare pussy and smirking to himself when he immediately could tell just how wet she was. There was no doubt in his mind that he could get her off with a mind-blowing orgasm when he bit her, and he was going to get a kick out of showing her exactly what she’d been missing in the times they’d been together before.
Spike gave her no warning as his fangs descended, sliding into the hot mound of her flesh. At the same moment, he found her clit, giving it a rough twist that bordered on pain, and just as he’d known she would, Buffy immediately burst into orgasm, her scream bouncing off the walls as she grabbed the back of his head so hard he knew she’d be bringing strands of bleached hair away with her.
But fuck, he’d let her pull every bit of his hair out for even a sip of the blood flowing on his tongue now. It seemed to be made even richer by her orgasm, and Spike’s eyes rolled back in his head as he suckled the wound he’d made. He stroked her clit in time with the pulls from his mouth, bringing her off a second time until Buffy was beyond the point of screaming, her body twitching helplessly as she experienced the most intense pleasure she’d ever known.
Reluctantly, Spike stopped drinking, licking the small wound on her breast closed before giving it a reverent kiss. As much as he wanted to keep drinking, he knew much more, and he’d hurt her – and nothing was worth risking Buffy’s life.
He rolled over beside her, smirking at the dazed, glassy look in her eyes. “Best orgasm of your life?” he asked, knowing the answer and not being able to keep a hint of smugness out of his voice.
“Uh huh,” Buffy asked, her tongue running over her dry lips. “Holy shit. A girl could get addicted to that.”
“And I’d be more than happy to enable that addiction,” Spike replied with a chuckle. His seriously-hard cock was still confined in his pants and he knew his balls were probably moving towards blue, but he felt too damn good to care he hadn’t gotten off yet. Buffy was in his bed, coming down from the incredible orgasm she’d had when he’d bitten her, and she loved him.
It was enough to make him wonder if maybe he’d actually gotten staked sometime in the last day and had accidentally wound up in Heaven himself…
Buffy rolled over on her side to face him, her fingers still shaking from her orgasm even as she traced the lines of his abdomen. She trailed them down to the patch of hair peeking out from the top of his jeans and smiled at the low rumbling sound that vibrated through his chest. “Betcha want your cock outta there, dontcha, baby?” she teased, her smile kittenish.
“More than anything,” Spike answered honestly, pushing his hips towards her.
Buffy rolled him over on his back and straddled his hips, giving him another deep, wet kiss before she trailed down his chest, leaving red bite marks on his alabaster flesh to mark where she’d been. Spike’s hands were fisted tightly around the sheets, his jaw tight, muscles twitching. She stopped at his crotch, massaging his erection through the rough denim before moving away, making Spike whimper.
“Don’t worry, baby,” she assured him as she continued to slide down his body. “I want that, too. I’m wet, dripping, desperate for your cock.”
“Buffy…” Spike groaned, his body tensing further. She peeked up at him, in awe of how restrained he was being. His muscles were tight, his chest moving with the breaths he took to keep himself as calm as possible, and she knew she couldn’t tease much longer.
Even with the amazing orgasms she’d had from his fangs and fingers, she was going just as crazy as he was with the need for something more.
She cursed under her breath as she pulled at the laces of his boots, for once wishing her boyfriend would decide to wear sandals or something equally easy-to-remove. As sexy as she secretly found his choice of ass-kicking footwear, the Docs were seriously getting in her way at the moment.
Buffy let out a triumphant cry as she finally pulled the boot off his foot and tossed it over her shoulder to the floor before jumping on the next one. As soon as she had both of his feet bare, she was back at the fly of his jeans, popping each button quickly and releasing his cock to the cool air of the crypt.
“Fuck, that feels so much better,” Spike said with a moan of relief. “Sometimes I really think I should give up the tight jeans around you.”
“Oh hell no,” Buffy replied. “Your ass is way too drool worthy for you to do that. God, I could stare at that for hours.”
Spike smirked at her, though she could see him preening under the compliment, too. “Well, then, I guess I’ll just have to suffer for your enjoyment then.”
“Damn right you will,” Buffy teased before she sat on the edge of the bed, unzipping her own boots and throwing them off the bed before she stood up and slid out of her jeans and drenched panties.
As soon as she was naked, Spike grabbed her with a growl, and Buffy squealed as he pulled her back down to the bed and pounced on top of her. She wrapped her arms around him and he kissed her, pulling her body as close to his as he could without entering her.
“Need you,” Buffy breathed against his mouth. “Need you inside.”
“Tell me first,” Spike implored her, looking down at her with dark eyes. “Tell me again now. I need to hear it…”
His request made Buffy’s heart swell in her chest, and she hated she’d denied him those words for so long. He’d been so broken, so empty when she fell, and then she’d come back only to cut him even deeper.
Never again, she swore, and knew she’d have no problems keeping that promise.
She placed her hand against his cheek, her soft, caring touch reinforcing the words as she spoke them. “I love you, Spike. You’re my Heaven.”
“Buffy… Oh god, pet, I love you so much. I’ll always love you. I never want to make you regret coming back to me.”
“I won’t,” Buffy assured him. “I couldn’t. I love you.”
Spike couldn’t hold himself back any longer. He lined himself up with her entrance and rammed his cock upwards, filling her in a hard stroke that left her breathless.
Buffy clung to him, cried out in ecstasy as she met his hips with each stroke, and knew she’d rediscovered Heaven.
Buffy knew she was dreaming again, though this time, her surroundings were decidedly modern. She was in what appeared to be a living room, though she didn’t think she’d ever been in it before.
“I have no idea where we are either. I’m assuming it’s just what the PTB thought would classify as ‘homey.’”
Buffy turned around quickly, then smiled when she saw Isobel behind her. “So we’re sharing the same dream now, huh?”
“Looks like. So…how’d things go with Spike?”
Buffy grinned, the twinkle in her eyes enough to convey exactly how well things had gone with Spike. “Good. We…discussed some things.”
“Discussed some things? Is that what you kids are calling it these days?”
“Among other things,” Buffy replied with a chuckle. Then, her expression softened, and she couldn’t help from embracing the other Slayer. “Thank you,” she said softly.
“I’m just glad I could help you,” Isobel replied, hugging Buffy back. “There’s too much loneliness in a Slayer’s life, and I’m happy to know you won’t have to be alone anymore.”
Buffy was smiling again as she pulled away from Isobel. It was comforting, knowing there was someone else out there who would so completely understand why she needed Spike.
Or at least there had been… What would Isobel and Edmund do now? Would they turn around and go right back to wherever it was they’d come from?
“What are you going to do now?” Buffy asked her.
Isobel shrugged. “We could stick around for a bit if you wanted. It’s been a while since I’ve seen an active Hellmouth. Besides, it might be good to have us around if those friends of yours give you a hard time about Spike. I certainly wouldn’t have any trouble getting medieval on their asses.” She held out her hands. “And I know, I know. Before you even have to say it – bad, bad pun.”
Buffy smirked. “Little bit, yeah. I’d like that, though. The you sticking around for a while bit. It’ll be nice, having another Slayer around who doesn’t want to kill me.” Isobel arched her eyebrow in question and Buffy let out a deep breath. “Long story.”
“I bet. But yeah, we’ll stay here for a while.” Isobel winked. “Maybe we could do a double date.”
Buffy laughed. “They’d complain, you know.”
“All part of the fun,” Isobel countered, and then the two Slayers were giggling together.
A smile on her face as she slept, Buffy Summers turned in the arms of her lover…