Not that she was complaining…
She felt better then than she had in a long time, since well before her death and resurrection. She'd feared letting herself give in to what she felt for Spike, but now that she had, she was realizing it was the most freeing thing she'd ever done.
Sure, the hours of amazing sex certainly played a part in her current good mood, but she knew it had more to do with simply being with him now. She hadn't moved since she'd collapsed against his chest several moments earlier, but a small smile formed on her lips as he stroked her back and hair. Buffy lifted her head long enough to kiss his chest before snuggling closer, and her smile grew as Spike held her tighter.
She knew that she was in a crypt with a vampire, something that she shouldn't even consider, never mind actually do, but suddenly, she didn't care so much. What Spike had said to her the day before at Willy's, about how she focused too much on the vampire and Slayer aspect of their relationship and not the fact that they were also just a man and a woman had struck a chord.
Buffy had spent so many years trying to find the girl she had been before she was called as the Slayer that she seemed to have missed how gone that girl truly was – and not just because of her calling.
Quite simply, the girl had grown up.
She’d long ago become assured of her abilities as the Slayer. She never allowed anyone to question the choices she made in that arena and never doubted her skills or competency when she went into battle. So why should she doubt her decisions about the rest of her life?
Buffy understood now why so many people drifted apart from their high school friends. Growing up often meant growing in different directions, and if someone couldn’t adjust to that, then the friendship died. Xander and Willow tried so hard to keep her the same girl she’d been when she was sixteen, and she simply wasn’t anymore. They’d gone through changes since the tenth grade, and yet, they’d demanded she stay the same – and that she be happy because of the things they though should make her happy.
They didn’t.
Spike made her happy. He loved her; she loved him. The whole concept of it was both simple and extremely complicated, but that didn’t mean she needed anyone else’s help in order to sort her own feelings out. Her private life was just that – private. And while all parts of her life were interconnected, the person she slept with didn’t define everything else.
And it certainly wasn’t the business of her other friends. They could either like Spike or not, but the bottom line was that she liked him. Past that, it was really no one’s business but hers.
“Are you all right, luv? You got all quiet.”
“I’m just thinking,” Buffy replied.
“Oh. Regrets?”
Buffy looked up sharply, the words to ask him why he’d think that on the tip of her tongue before she saw the look in his eyes. She didn’t have to ask a question to which she already knew the answer.
“There’s no regrets, baby,” she said softly, pushing away the stray bleached curls that were on his forehead, his carefully-gelled hairstyle ruined by her enthusiastic fingers.
“Are you sure, Slayer, because…”
She silenced him with a kiss. “No Slayer here, all right? I just want to be Buffy with you.” She put her hand against his chest, her palm over where his heartbeat used to be. “Sometimes I think you’re the only person who even really knows Buffy.”
“She’s takes a bit of work to figure out sometimes, but I like to think I manage all right,” Spike replied, and Buffy was glad to see a smirk replace his uncertain look from a moment ago.
“I think you have me better figured out than I do sometimes,” Buffy replied.
“You know yourself better than you think you do, sweetheart. You just don’t like to listen.”
“That’s going to change.”
“Is it?”
Buffy nodded, her hand sliding across Spike’s chest to hook around his waist and hold herself against him. “It’s getting exhausting fighting what I want all the time. I’m making myself miserable.”
“And cranky. You can’t forget cranky.”
She brought her hand back up and smacked his chest, but his comment made Buffy smile, too, even as she responded with, “Ass.”
“Hey, considering my twenty-four hour ordeal, I think I’m entitled to a dig or two.”
“Yeah, like you wait for an excuse,” Buffy replied with a roll of her eyes. Then, she looked up and met his gaze. “Are we okay there now?”
“Yeah, luv, we’re okay,” he assured her, stroking her hair. “I couldn’t stay angry at you for long anyway.” He winked. “Besides, if I can forgive you for dropping a church organ on me and making me completely bloody useless…”
Buffy smacked his chest again. “I can’t believe you’re actually bringing that up. It was years ago, and really, you had it coming that time.”
“My hip still hurts when it rains.”
“Your…” Buffy stopped when she saw him trying unsuccessfully not to smirk again. “You’re such a dork.”
Spike kissed her forehead, and she could feel his smile against her skin. “As long as I’m your dork, I couldn’t bloody care less.”
“All mine,” Buffy told him with a giggle. Soon, his hands were trailing down her body, wanting to stoke the fires of desire inside of her yet again.
Buffy did what she wanted to do.
“Remind me why we’re not in bed again?” Spike grumbled as he pulled a black t-shirt over his head. “I was quite comfortable where I was.”
“I have to patrol,” Buffy replied, zipping up her boot. “And I want to go check on Dawn first, since I haven’t seen her since I threw a Pop Tart at her this morning and sent her to school. Make sure her arm isn’t giving her more trouble than it should be.”
At the mention of the younger Summers sister and her recent injury, Spike reluctantly gave into the idea of leaving his bedroom. Fully dressed now, he went over to Buffy and put his hands on her hips, pulling her close to him. “All right. We’ll go check on the bit and do a quick patrol. But then you’ll come back here with me, yeah?”
Buffy looked down, her hands going over his as she traced one of his silver rings with her fingertips. “Actually, I was thinking maybe you’d want to stay at my place tonight. I mean, your crypt is cozy and all, but my house does have a few more…amenities.”
“Stay? You mean like sleep in your bed and stay until the next day?”
“Maybe even a little longer,” Buffy replied with a slight nod.
Her request had him floored. Even with her declaration of love and the afternoon they’d spent in each other’s arms, he hadn’t let himself even imagine that Buffy would let him sleep next to her in her own bed. It was something he’d wanted for years, but it had seemed so personal, so intimate, that he was certain she’d never allow him in.
“Willow lives with you, doesn’t she? Won’t it be a little difficult to hide we’re together if I’m having sleepovers.”
“I’m not…” Buffy stopped, took a deep breath, and lifted her head. She need to keep hiding from things, needed to quit being so unsure of herself. She needed to act like an adult in an adult relationship – which, for the first time, was truly what she was.
“I’m not keeping this from her. It’s my house. I can have anyone over I want. I mean, she’s not even paying rent. What kind of say does she have in who’s there?”
“So I don’t even have to try to pretend I’m there for another reason?”
“No. Hell, grab my ass right in front of her for all I care.”
Spike’s bark of laughter made Buffy smile. “Don’t tempt me, luv.”
“Like you need to be tempted, oh ye of little impulse control.”
“And you’re one to talk?” Spike asked, eyebrow arched.
“Shut up,” Buffy grumbled.
Spike took both of her hands in his, his thumbs stroking her skin. “So we stop by and check on Dawn, patrol, then head back to your place for the night?”
“If you’re good with that.”
“Pet, I can’t think of a way I’d rather spend the night.”
Buffy smiled at him, the bright, nearly-blinding smile that never seemed to fail to make him feel warm again. More content than he remembered being in a long time, Spike had to kiss her.
As soon as they made the turn onto Buffy’s block, she groaned, the bounce that had been in her step disappearing in an instant.
“What’s wrong, luv?” Spike asked, squeezing her hand, still intertwined with his.
“Xander’s car is parked in front of my house. I’m soo not in the mood.”
“Do you still want to go by there first?” Spike asked. “He might be gone once we finished patrolling.”
Buffy shook her head. “I’m rarely, if ever, that lucky. Besides, I really do need to check in on Dawn. I’ve been way too slack of a guardian recently.”
“All right. Are we going in through the front?”
“Yeah.”
Spike and Buffy walked onto her porch, though Buffy stopped again when she peeked in through the partially-open curtains. “Oh, shit.”
“What?”
“Willow and Xander are sitting in the living room, all still and serious-looking. I’m getting intervention vibes.”
“Intervention vibes?” Spike repeated with a frown. “What do you mean?”
“It’s this thing they do,” Buffy replied with a roll of her eyes. “Whenever I do something that doesn’t merit the Scooby Stamp of Approval, they gang up on me to tell me I’m wrong. It’s annoying as hell.”
“You’re kidding me.”
“I wish. When you made that robot, I walked into one about how sleeping with you clearly meant I had issues. And yet, the fact that none of them could tell me apart from some crazy, overly-perky sex toy somehow didn’t speak ill of them at all.”
“Your friends really are bloody morons, luv. Truly.”
“Yeah, tell me about it,” Buffy replied with a snort.
“But why would they be staging one of these interventions now? Do…do you think they already know about us?”
“I doubt it. Not really, anyway, though they probably already think I’m spending too much time with you or something. But I got into a screaming match with Willow last night, and I’m sure she went running to Xander and told him I wasn’t obeying the rules again. She’s such a tattle-tale.”
Despite the situation, Spike smirked. “A bit, yeah. What was the row about?”
“A bunch of stuff. I just sort of blew up on her. But I doubt she actually listened to anything I said. She loves to blame everyone else around her without ever taking into account her own behavior. It gets really, really old after awhile.”
“So what are you going to do now?” Spike asked, holding her hand tighter, as if he were afraid to let go.
“Would you be okay waiting out here while I went in and talked to them?” Buffy asked. “No offense, honey, but if I go in there with you, it’s just going to make the situation even more explosive.”
Spike frowned. “I thought you weren’t hiding me from them.”
“I’m not. Trust me, I’m not. But if they start screaming the moment I walk through the door, it’s only going to make things even more difficult.”
“Buffy…” Spike started, his whole body going tense.
“No, don’t do that, okay? This has nothing to do with us.” Buffy put her free hand against his cheek and smiled softly. “I’m going to go in there and talk to them, but nothing’s going to change for us. I’m still going to love you, and you’re still sleeping next to me in my bed tonight. Just give me a few minutes to diffuse the situation. Please, Spike. I need you to let me do this on my own.”
Spike let out a deep breath. He didn’t like this, but he knew he couldn’t really refuse her either. “Yeah, all right. I’ll wait for you out here.”
“I’ll be back soon, I promise.” Buffy kissed his cheek, then whispered against his ear. “I love you.”
“I love you, too, sweetheart.”
Buffy slipped away from him, and Spike reluctantly let go. She smiled at him one more time before she went into the house and shut the door behind him.
The thought of her being alone with those two, primed to tear her away from him – it was all Spike could do to keep from panicking.
If he lost her now after what they’d shared today…
Hands trembling, he took a cigarette out of his coat in an attempt to calm his nerves.
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