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Author's Chapter Notes:
Not a happy, Spuffy ending here - more like a hopeful Spuffy ending. lol But there is some Spuffy interaction during the course of the story.
Title: Double Bubble, Toil and… (1/9/06)
Author: Slaymesoftly
Season: Alternate Season IV, during the Will Be Done Spell.
Rating: R for language
Disclaimer: Joss said we could play with them, so I’m playing. Some dialogue may seem familiar if it was taken from a episode of the show. Those would someone else’s words, not mine, obviously.
Distribution: Written for the Good_Evil Community, so no snatching without permission.
Notes: Beta’d by the patient and willing Always_jbj * hugs * This is supposed to be “evil Willow”, but I’m afraid it’s more like “petulant Willow”; and, of course, it has a Spuffy slant because I don’t seem to capable of writing anything else.

Double Bubble, Toil and…

“Why is Buffy kissing Spike? And why is Giles standing around doing nothing as though he can’t see it? And Xander and Anya? What are they doing in a crypt at night? They don’t go patrolling with Buffy. What’s going on here?” Willow’s voice was more puzzled than concerned; even though it was obvious her friends were in dire straits.

“You don’t remember your spell?” the tall, horned demon in the green robes asked with a frown. “It was excellent. Some of the best vengeance I’ve seen in years.”

“V…vengeance?”

“Why, yes. What else would you call it? The man who refused to listen to you is now blind and can do nothing but listen. The friend who was more interested in finding a vampire than staying with you is now in love with that vampire – a love, which, interestingly enough, he seems to return…” The demons voice trailed off as he rubbed his chin in thought. “Interesting….”

“I said they might as well get married,” Willow mumbled, beginning to see where he was going with this. “And I told Xander he was a demon-magnet. This is all my fault!”

“Exactly!” the demon crowed triumphantly. “You managed to wreak appropriate vengeance on each one of them, all by yourself, with no help from a vengeance demon. You are a natural!”

“But my friends…they’re being hurt! I didn’t want that to happen.”

“You didn’t? Are you sure?” His amber eyes bored into hers in a manner that left no room for equivocating.

“Well, I mean…I was hurt…and they weren’t being very sympathetic, so…But I didn’t mean for this to happen! I mean, Giles- blind? How will he read his books? And Buffy and Spike? That’s just ewwwwww!”

“They don’t seem to think so,” D-Hoffryn commented mildly, gesturing at the viewing portal he’d opened. The vampire and Slayer could clearly be seen rubbing their pelvises together while their lips remained locked in what Willow was sure was one of the longest kisses she’d ever seen. She quickly looked away from the two blonds making out on the floor of the crypt and over to where her best friend and his girlfriend were battling for their lives.

“Well, I didn’t mean for every demon in the world to attack Xander!” she sputtered. “I can’t believe he’s not dead yet. Look at them!”

“I don’t believe they are trying to kill him….”

“Well then why are they…oh! Oh goddess!” Her eyes flew to the leader of all vengeance demons and she said, “I’ve got to stop this! He’s already got a demon – One should be enough for anybody.”

“Ah yes. Anyanka. Such a loss.” He gave a heavy sigh.

“Can you stop them?” she asked suddenly. “Just the demons attacking Xander and Anya. Can you make them stop without my having to break the spell?”

The old demon shook his head. “I could not do that, although I can, perhaps, make their attentions somewhat less…enthusiastic. Thereby decreasing the chances that your friend will be injured accidentally by an overly aroused demon.”

Willow looked thoughtful. “Okay, let’s do that, then. Just do something so that Xander doesn’t get hurt – not physically, anyway.”

“And the rest?”

“Oh,” she said with firm conviction, “I think I’ll leave them to suffer for the way they ignored me. For a while longer, anyway. Let them see how much they like being ignored when they need help.”

“So, you are taking my offer, then?” he asked hopefully.

“Oh, no. I don’t think so,” Willow responded cheerfully. “It looks to me like I can wreak vengeance any time I want to as long as my spell is in effect. I don’t think I need you. But thanks for asking. Can I go back now?”

He handed her a business card with flaming letters on it. “Please, keep my card. Should you change your mind, you will always be able to reach me with this.”

“Okey, dokie,” she agreed, putting the card in her pocket. “Now send me back. I want them to know who did this to them.”

With a loud whoosh and a puff of smoke, Willow found herself standing in a crypt where the Watcher was clinging to the wall with one hand, begging for someone to tell him what was going on. The sounds of violence had ceased and all he could hear now were Spike and Buffy’s loud moans of frustrated lust as they tried to restrain themselves in front of the other Scoobies, and Anya’s angry shouting as she tried to keep the now obviously amorous demons away from Xander.

Willow looked around in satisfaction at the discomfort on the faces of her friends. She had to admit that Buffy seemed quite happy to be kissing Spike, but a closer look at her friend’s lust-filled expression and the vampire’s amber-flashing eyes told her that they were finding nothing comfortable about being surrounded by other people. She found herself giggling at their subtle attempts to dry hump without allowing anyone to realize what they were doing.

She walked over to Giles and casually poked him, laughing when the Watcher jumped into a defensive posture and flailed around with the piece of wood he was holding, searching desperately for the danger he expected to encounter.

“Relax, Giles, it’s only me,” Willow said – then winced when he immediately allowed himself to slump against the wall, thereby hitting his own head on the stone.

( Note to self – be very careful about saying anything that could be interpreted as a command or wish!)

“Willow! Is that you? I cannot see you. I’m afraid I appear to have suddenly gone blind.”

“Yes, you have,” she said, not unkindly. “I guess that will happen when you tell people you can see their pain and you don’t really mean it.”

She left the puzzled man leaning against the wall and walked over to where Xander and Anya were surrounded by demons, all pushing and shoving, trying to get closer to the terrified young man.

“I think he would prefer to see you fight for him,” she said clearly, then stepped back as the demons immediately began to fight among themselves for the right to challenge Anya. Willow quickly moved the two humans away from the pile of snarling demons and left them leaning against the wall beside Giles.

She then stepped back to the two people writhing around on the floor, oblivious to the demon scrum only a few feet away. Willow watched with interest for a few seconds as the vampire whispered endearments and tried to coax Buffy into leaving with him so they could have more privacy.

When it appeared that Buffy was weakening, and was about to agree to sneak out with the vampire to consummate their impending marriage before it actually happened, Willow sighed and spoke.


“Buffy – Spike! Can you stop kissing long enough to listen to me?”

“I’m listening, Willow,” Buffy gasped, tearing her lips away briefly.

“I think you’d hear me better if Spike took his hands out of your pants,” Willow snapped. The vampire’s hand immediately flew away from the Slayer’s body as Buffy sat up abruptly and said, “I’m all ears!”

The red-haired witch had to smother a smile at the disgruntled look on the vampire’s face. He was staring at his hand with suspicion; clearly not sure why he’d so readily yanked it away from the Slayer’s warm body. Behind her, she could hear Xander and Giles sputtering as they realized what she’d said about where Spike’s hand had been.

“Buffy,” Giles ordered in his most authoritative voice, “Get away from Spike immediately!”

Buffy’s lip came out in a pout and she snuggled closer to the now-sitting vampire.

“Giiiiles,” she whined. “He’s my fiancé! I want to stay with him.”

“Buffy, trust us,” Xander put in. “When this spell or whatever it is is over, you will thank us for this.”

Willow giggled as Buffy’s hand crept behind her back to cup the bulge in Spike’s jeans. The vampire growled softly and reached around to pull her back against his chest, nuzzling her neck as he did so. There were gasps from the Scoobies when Buffy tilted her head, giving the former Slayer of Slayers access to her throat, but the vampire just continued to nuzzle and lick at her with no trace of evil intent.

Willow couldn’t decide which would be more delicious – to let Buffy and Spike have sex and then remove the spell, or to keep them constantly with other people and therefore, constantly frustrated. Since she couldn’t make up her mind, she waved her hand and said, “You’re coming with us,” as she turned to lead the others back to the Watcher’s apartment.

As they picked their way through the cemetery, they saw more demons rushing toward the growing melee taking place in and around the crypt they had just left. Many of them gave Xander long, lingering glances as they went by, but they dutifully went off to join the fight for his affections rather than following him.

Anya was glaring suspiciously at the witch; noting the happy smile on the face that had been so morose so very recently and she felt a growing certainly when Willow met her look calmly.

“You did the spell!” the ex-vengeance demon said loudly. “Willow did this to us. Look at her! She reeks of vengeance!”

“Vengeance?” Xander turned to look at his best friend since kindergarten and frowned. “Why would Willow want to do a vengeance spell on us? We’re her friends. We love her.”

“Speak for yourself,” Spike and Anya muttered simultaneously, exchanging a look of demon solidarity just before Willow whirled and glared at them.

“I don’t think Buffy wants to marry you anymore, Spike,” she said clearly. “Do you, Buffy?”

“Um...” The Slayer looked into Spike’s heartbroken eyes apologetically, “I just think I might be too…but…” Seeing the look on his face, she finished quickly, “But I still love you!”

Willow frowned as Spike’s face relaxed. “Well, that’s alright, then, pet. I still love you too. As long as we’re together, it doesn’t matter if we’re married or—

“No you don’t, Buffy!” the angry witch growled. “You don’t love him. And he doesn’t love you.”

“Well, that’s a relief!” Buffy relaxed, but remained close to the vampire who was looking equally relieved.

“Bloody right, it is,” he agreed, leering at her and pinching her butt. “Doesn’t mean I don’t want you though, Slayer. Still want to shag you silly!”

“Right back at you, Vampire,” she purred, turning to face him. “What do you say we let Willow lead Giles home and we go find someplace less…crowded?”

“My thoughts exactly!” Taking her hand, he began to pull her away from the horrified group watching them.

Willow stamped her foot in exasperation. “You aren’t going anywhere!” she yelled. “Except back to Giles’ with us so we can watch you.”

“They want to watch us, luv,” Spike whispered in Buffy’s ear as they froze in place, unable to move.

“Well that’s just…ewwww!” Buffy turned her head and glared at Willow. “When did you become so kinky?”

Throwing up her hands in defeat, the witch snarled, “Fine, go do whatever you want. I hope you screw each other unconscious!”

While the two blonds took off running to find some privacy, Willow turned to the horrified people watching her and said, “Now, we’re going back to Giles’ apartment and you are all going to apologize to me for not caring about my pain!”

She marched off in a huff, the three remaining Scoobies trailing behind her begging for forgiveness as they followed her out the gate and down the sidewalk.





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