1. Chapter 1 by BTVSLOVER82 [Reviews - 12] (3216 words)
eventually dark, angsty, underage sex, increasing levels of kink, and utterly unrealistic demands on Spike’s stamina :) it will * remain consensual *. I’ll try to mark any special kink warnings on a chapter-by-chapter basis.

beta'd by the lovely goddessofmercy

I almost fell into that hole in your life,
You weren’t thinking bout tomorrow,
Cause you were the same as me,
But on your knees…
--Goo Goo Dolls' Black Balloon

2. Chapter 2 by BTVSLOVER82 [Reviews - 3] (4184 words)
eventually dark, angsty, underage sex, increasing levels of kink, and utterly unrealistic demands on Spike’s stamina :) it will * remain consensual *. I’ll try to mark any special kink warnings on a chapter-by-chapter basis.

beta'd by the lovely goddessofmercy

I almost fell into that hole in your life,
You weren’t thinking bout tomorrow,
Cause you were the same as me,
But on your knees…
--Goo Goo Dolls' Black Balloon

3. Chapter 3 by BTVSLOVER82 [Reviews - 15] (4490 words)
eventually dark, angsty, underage sex, increasing levels of kink, and utterly unrealistic demands on Spike’s stamina :) it will * remain consensual *. I’ll try to mark any special kink warnings on a chapter-by-chapter basis.

beta'd by the lovely goddessofmercy

I almost fell into that hole in your life,
You weren’t thinking bout tomorrow,
Cause you were the same as me,
But on your knees…
--Goo Goo Dolls' Black Balloon

4. Chapter 4 by BTVSLOVER82 [Reviews - 7] (3563 words)
eventually dark, angsty, underage sex, increasing levels of kink, and utterly unrealistic demands on Spike’s stamina :) it will * remain consensual *. I’ll try to mark any special kink warnings on a chapter-by-chapter basis.

beta'd by the lovely goddessofmercy

I almost fell into that hole in your life,
You weren’t thinking bout tomorrow,
Cause you were the same as me,
But on your knees…
--Goo Goo Dolls' Black Balloon

5. Chapter 5 by BTVSLOVER82 [Reviews - 13] (2223 words)
eventually dark, angsty, underage sex, increasing levels of kink, and utterly unrealistic demands on Spike’s stamina :) it will * remain consensual *. I’ll try to mark any special kink warnings on a chapter-by-chapter basis.

beta'd by the lovely goddessofmercy

I almost fell into that hole in your life,
You weren’t thinking bout tomorrow,
Cause you were the same as me,
But on your knees…
--Goo Goo Dolls' Black Balloon

I might be disappearing for 2 weeks...I'm not dead, and I will be coming back with more.

6. Chapter 6 by BTVSLOVER82 [Reviews - 13] (4928 words)
eventually dark, angsty, underage sex, increasing levels of kink, and utterly unrealistic demands on Spike’s stamina :) it will * remain consensual *. I’ll try to mark any special kink warnings on a chapter-by-chapter basis.

This chapter: soft bondage

beta'd by the lovely goddessofmercy

I almost fell into that hole in your life,
You weren’t thinking bout tomorrow,
Cause you were the same as me,
But on your knees…
--Goo Goo Dolls' Black Balloon

~*~*~*~

okie dokie, not a Saturday, but I crawl out of the woods from two weeks of camping,, to present you with the update.

Some of you may be wondering...where's the kink? I know, I'm thinking it too! it has been hijacked by angst and morals, but it's coming. in the meantime, have some soft bondage!

~*~*~*~

7. Chapter 7 by BTVSLOVER82 [Reviews - 34] (2493 words)
eventually dark, angsty, underage sex, increasing levels of kink, and utterly unrealistic demands on Spike’s stamina :) it will * remain consensual *. I’ll try to mark any special kink warnings on a chapter-by-chapter basis.

beta'd by the lovely goddessofmercy

I almost fell into that hole in your life,
You weren’t thinking bout tomorrow,
Cause you were the same as me,
But on your knees…
--Goo Goo Dolls' Black Balloon

~*~*~*~

Chapter note: Sorry this wasn't posted last weekend, but my beta was having a lovely time with her mommy. Chapter 8 will be posted not this coming weekend, but the next (July 7th weekend? don't really know the date). that way we'll be back on the weekend schedule. Until I move in August and my schedule gets blown to hell again *g*

here beginneth the *real* angst. oh, you thought the angst had already begun, you say? nope. this is where it gets super duper angsty. hang in there...and don't flame me. thanks.

~*~*~*~

8. Chapter 8 by BTVSLOVER82 [Reviews - 25] (2473 words)
eventually dark, angsty, underage sex, increasing levels of kink, and utterly unrealistic demands on Spike’s stamina :) it will * remain consensual *. I’ll try to mark any special kink warnings on a chapter-by-chapter basis.

beta'd by the lovely goddessofmercy

I almost fell into that hole in your life,
You weren’t thinking bout tomorrow,
Cause you were the same as me,
But on your knees…
--Goo Goo Dolls' Black Balloon

~*~*~*~

thanks so much to everyone who humored me and crawled out of the darkness of Lurkerland to comment. I was curious what the quiet ones were thinking, and I needed some love and encouragement on this story, which is by far the most taxing of my current wips to write. I am a shameless, shameless girl.

The one thing I’m wondering about, having come to SR from LJ, is that I reply to each and every fb that I receive…do you people even get notified of that? does anyone see my replies to their comments? I’d probably keep doing it anyway, because I know at least a few of you check, and I think it’s polite to acknowledge your niceness, but I’m curious if I’m just doing it for me, or if it’s getting through to you.

Chapter spoiler/warning: I hate to ruin my surprise in this chapter, but since I know some of you are sensitive to such things, I want to warn you now, Angel’s in this chapter. There is reference to his and Buffy’s *previous* pairing, but nothing current or future. Don’t be scrrd. And yes, I give him a sympathetic portrayal, because that’s the way I like it. Sympathy for everyone! Ironically, I think some of the Angel-haters out there will find the impact of this chapter satisfying, since many of you also want to kick Spike’s ass. lol.

9. why this has been on hiatus by BTVSLOVER82 [Reviews - 12] (1332 words)

10. A question for readers of this fic by BTVSLOVER82 [Reviews - 25] (1500 words)

11. Chapter 9 by BTVSLOVER82 [Reviews - 32] (2865 words)
eventually dark, angsty, underage sex, increasing levels of kink, and utterly unrealistic demands on Spike’s stamina :) it will * remain consensual *. I’ll try to mark any special kink warnings on a chapter-by-chapter basis.

beta'd by the lovely goddessofmercy

I almost fell into that hole in your life,
You weren’t thinking bout tomorrow,
Cause you were the same as me,
But on your knees…
--Goo Goo Dolls' Black Balloon