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Chapter 18: Moving Forward


Dawn came home mid morning. She spent most of the night talking to Sam about Spike and what happened. Sam listened to her thoughts and held her close, minding his injuries. Creeping into the house like a teenager late for curfew, Dawn glided up the steps. There was no noise coming from the basement and Dawn only hoped that Buffy was all right. In truth, Dawn was slightly afraid to go and check. Every time she approached them, Spike got defensive until Buffy assured him that it was all right. When she looked at him, his eyes were so cold and mistrustful, nothing like the Spike she knew. The Spike she knew had dancing eyes with his baby blues twinkling with life. This Spike’s eyes did not twinkle, at least not when she was around. When Buffy originally brought Spike into the house, she could tell he didn’t remember her. Not even remembering her from the morning. Whatever Angel had done to Spike worked… this Spike was just a shell of the man she knew.



Downstairs…



Buffy heard Dawn come in and walk upstairs quietly. Spike was still lying in her arms that she offered last night. She sat up straight against the wall to help her back to heal with his head pillowed on her lap. Her muscles were stiff from sitting up almost all night, holding the broken beast she knew was still Spike. She casually almost thoughtlessly ran her fingers through his soft bleached hair. Once Dawn left with Sam, Spike settled down and fell asleep. Buffy wondered how Sam really was. She was sure Dawn would have come down to let her know how her best friend was, but she didn’t. Slowly, Buffy placed a pillow on her lap, under Spike’s head. She held the pillow and Spike for a few minutes, waiting for him to wake up, but he didn’t. Taking it was a clue that he still was sound asleep, Buffy carefully moved out from underneath him. She put the pillow down on the pallet slowly. She waited a couple more minutes, waiting for Spike to wake up confused, but he stayed asleep. Buffy crept up the stairs, mindful of the unconscious body below. Rounding the corner from the hallway and the stairs she stopped and stood there. The past few days crashed into her like a ton of bricks. Losing her balance, she leaned on the banister replaying all the events. The trip here, the confrontations, Spike missing, her so-called friends’ plan, Spike in the warehouse, Angel’s death, the tantrums, Sam, and Dawn. Quickly recovering, Buffy straighten her shoulders and continued to her destination. This was not a time to breakdown. Taking a deep breath, Buffy knocked on Dawn’s door. In a short moment, Dawn stood in the open door. “Hey.”



“Hey yourself… so… how is Sam?”



“Alive.” Dawn’s eyes danced in merriment with the thought of being difficult.



“I kind of figured that, thank goodness. But how is he?”



“Hanging in there. Wouldn’t let the docs keep him overnight. I took him back to the hotel and we talked.”



“Sounds like Sam. He hates hospitals almost as much as I do. Did you tell him about Spike?” The two sisters found their way to Dawn’s bed and sat down.



“Yeah, I tried to explain. He is trying to understand for you, but it’s hard for him.”



“Yeah, Sam is a good friend like that. Is he healing OK?”



“Sort of. Spike got a few good licks in. His arms and chest are torn up but healing.”



“I tried to get Spike off ASAP, but he was not listening or anything. The only way I got his attention was to jump on his back.” Buffy rubbed the lower portion of hers. “And then he backed us into the column on the porch.”



“Ouch. So that’s when you had Spike go get me?”



“Yeah. Once he saw it was me, he carried me to the basement. I told him to get you. At first he wasn’t going to leave, but then I told him again and he went and got you.”



“We should teach him to knock and stuff because I was asleep and he grabbed me. I woke up with him in game face carrying me. I had no idea what was going on.”



“Uh, sorry about that. He knew I was hurt and that I was asking for you. He just gets… a little... OK, a lot over zealous.”



“Yeah, true. I just can’t believe that less than a week ago he was sitting here in this room, tickling me.” The two sisters stayed quiet for a long time.



“We need to figure out a way to get him back.” Buffy broke the silence. “I kinda wish we could ask Willow since she helped me when Glory took you, but…”



“Yeah…” Dawn broke the sentence off also. “Hey, how about we talk about old times? He remembers you I know he does. The way he looks at you and stuff. He looks at you like Spike does when he thinks no one is looking.”



“He remembers you, too. When I said your name he KNEW where you were and who you are.”



“Yeah, but he keeps growling at me when I enter the room.”



“I… I think that is his demon protecting itself.” Buffy shivered. “In Hawaii, h-…he told me that his demon loved me too… I think he is trying to protect me.”



“From me?”



“Well, he… he gets confused… like he isn’t aware of what is out there… just that it is out there and he reacts naturally with his teeth and grring, you know?”



“Yeah, well, it’s scary.”



“Yeah. Scary… oh, how about pictures?”



“You mean of us?” Dawn questioned.



“Yeah, like of mom, you, me. I think we have a couple with him in it, too.”



“Stay away from the pictures of Angel.”



“Yeah, I don’t think he would like that.” The two started to plan and look through photo albums.



Downstairs the sleeping figure woke up. His arms reached for the warm body, but only encountered a cold pillow. Blinking awake the vampire sniffed the air, gauging when his love left the room. Satisfied she hadn’t been gone too long, he went up the steps in search of her. He felt her before he could hear her. She was talking to the other woman that looked and smelled like his ladylove. Spike didn’t know what to make of the other woman in the house. She has kind eyes but he could tell she was scared of him. He followed her scent and their voices up the stairs. As he got closer their scents mingled together forming a new, yet familiar scent. It smelled like comfort and home.



He found the two sitting on a bed looking down at some sort of a book. His love had her arm around the younger woman as they talked quietly. “I wish I could talk to her one more time… just once more.”



“I know Dawnie. We didn’t even get an opportunity to say goodbye.” The two women on the bed had tears running down their faces as they stared down. Spike came into the room and walked around to kneel in front of Buffy. He patted her leg and cocked his head. “Hey, Spike.”



Spike rested his head on his loves knee and stroked her other thigh while making soft noises. Dawn noticed the strange behavior and had to ask, “What is he doing?” Spike’s hands continued to partly pat and partly caress Buffy’s leg.



“I don’t know, but it feels good.” Buffy gazed down at her lover and smiled. Even in his condition he was trying to take care of her. “I think he is trying to comfort me.” Spike looked up into her eyes and winked with acknowledgement. “Come here, Spike.” Buffy patted the bed next to her. He dutifully scrambled up onto the bed, sitting impossibly close to her with his arm behind her back. She took the book from Dawn’s lap and placed it in her own. “Spike, this is my mom, do you remember her?” Spike looked down to where she was pointing. A middle-aged, smiling woman stared back at him. Her curly dishwater blonde hair was cut shoulder length and her eyes crinkled up, showing the start of her crow’s feet. Spike brought his hand up to the picture and moved his fingers lightly over the face in the book. “Her name is Joyce. I think she let you call her mum when I wasn’t around.” Spike looked up at the mention of ‘mum’ and he mouthed the word. “She died a long time ago… well… not so long for us. She had a brain tumor...” Buffy couldn’t continue, the emotions were still as fresh as they were when her mom first died.



“They did a surgery and got it out, do you remember?” Dawn was now talking. “They got it out and everything. We took her home and she was good. Then… then… one day… an aneurysm.” This time Dawn’s tears ran freely as she got caught up in the emotion. Spike looked over at the younger version of his love breaking down and moved to sit between the two. He hugged them both to his sides, letting the two women deplete their emotional state. Dawn was the first to be able to restrain her sorrow and regain her composure. Buffy leaned up against Spike, her body wracked with tremors as she repressed her tears. “She was a special lady.” Dawn finally put an end to their tormented memories and sat up.



“That she was, Dawn. That she was.” Buffy agreed, still in the arms of her lover.



Dawn turned the page of the album and pointed to another picture: a picture of the young Scoobies sans Angel in the old library. “Hey remember this? It was your senior year or something.”



Buffy looked over and smiled at the memory of that day. Everything seemed so simple back then. School, slay, home, and repeat. “Oh, yeah. I remember that day. It was when Spike came back to do that spell on Dru…” she trailed off. Buffy wasn’t sure if Spike would recognize the name, but she didn’t want to chance it. Spike narrowed his eyes towards Buffy, trying to distinguish what she was trying to say. She mentioned his name, but the sentence was never finished.



“Ohh, look at this one.” Dawn turned the page again. “I can’t believe you dressed up like Little Red Riding Hood for Halloween!” Spike looked down at the candid shot. His fingers itched to trace the outline of her face, but he was content to keep his arm around the real thing. The three sat on the bed for hours, looking at pictures and retelling old stories.

~*~*~

He has gone MAD! This time he went to far, she was sure of it. She quickly looked around, trying to fathom the madness that she now called Xander. Get away. That is what she has to do. She started to stuff clothes into a duffle bag. Run. Tell Buffy. Tell them that they are coming. They are here. Tell her to run. Take Spike and go. From what Giles has said Buffy and Spike have more than enough money to hide themselves for a long time.



“What are you doing, Willow?” Anya walked into the room. Willow looked up from her packing.



“I… uh… taking a trip?” Willow tried to cover, but not very good. Anya looked out into the hallway and closed the door.



“You’re leaving, right?” Willow nodded and watched as Anya walked over and helped her pack. “Go warn Buffy.” The two worked silently understanding what was going on.



Not thirty minutes earlier the three Scoobies met with the Watcher team. Anya and Willow weren’t sure what was going on until Xander made the introductions. Soon the two girls realized what the team was there to do and how. Willow balked in the back of the room, digesting the discussion the five men were having. Anya sat next to Xander, but did not say anything. If Xander paid any notice he would have seen a sicken face on his wife and friend, but he did not pay any attention to the two girls he dragged to the meeting. It was determined that Angel had indeed kidnapped Spike, but now Spike was free and Angel was dust. The team of cutthroat men eagerly strategized the best way to lure Spike into a trap and take him back to the headquarters to torture and eventually kill. Willow’s heart was breaking for her friend. Anya’s heart broke for her husband and the petty, little man he had evolved into.



Willow was now on the doorstep of the house on Revello trying to get enough courage to knock.



Inside the house a 30 minutes earlier….

Dawn was at class. Buffy and Spike were now in the basement. He was sitting on the pallet next to her watching her sleep. The voices have quieted down again. He stared at her peaceful form, wishing she always looked this peaceful. He traced the contours of her face with the lightest touch of his fingers. She stirred under his ministrations. A smirk began to form on Spike’s lips as he traced the muscles on her face moving in a circular pattern he continued to tease her skin. His hands traveled down her throat and played along her collarbone, dipping into the indentations. Buffy kept her eyes closed during his exploration. He really was an enigma. At times he was gentle as a baby’s breath and at other times he was like a vicious animal, ready to rip out anyone throat. She struggled to keep her giggles down and her eyes closed, but Spike was getting more and more gregarious in his exploration causing shivers to enter her body. His fingers now ran down her chest, playing with her pert, hard nipples. She could feel his aroused, hard cock against her thigh as he continued to play. Knowing she was awake, he ducked his head down to met her lips with his. She moaned as his tongue ran along her lower lip, coaxing for permission that she was more than ready to give.



His hands moved around her body, playing her like a finely tune guitar. Her hands moved to encircle his shoulders. Spike nuzzled the side of her neck, licking her jugular as she spread her legs for him to settle down. She felt his cock probe her folds but not completely enter her as his body moved over hers. Her body shuddered whenever he felt his velvet tip brush against her moist, sensitive center. Again, Spike’s lips found her own: nipping, sucking, and just resting on hers as his hands moved across her body, down her belly and stopping to play with the belly ring she still had there. Buffy moaned as he gently flicked and twisted the ring and his cock finally glided into her warmth. They lay there minutes sighing in contentment, before he began to move above her. His thrusts were long and deep, bringing every nerve of her body to life. Spike brought his head down to nuzzle her soft breasts. Beads of sweat formed on her naked skin as he increased his pace and strength of penetration. Buffy wound her legs around Spike, resting her calves above his butt. The new angle and sensations prompted Spike to increase his pace yet again. Sucking on her neck and her on his shoulder, they felt the stars approach. Screaming his name, Buffy came, squeezing his hard, pounding cock completely. With an ethereal howl Spike shot his seed into her. Looking down at her writhing under him, Spike went back to kiss her neck. Moving her head to the side, Buffy allowed Spike access to the place he just recently abandoned. Still locked in her own pleasurable world and the feel of his cock still hard inside her, Buffy didn’t notice the first pinch of discomfort as Spike’s canines delved into her skin. Not until his bottom teeth clamped down, bruising and tearing her skin Buffy had no idea that Spike was in his vampire visage. Not understanding what was happening and the slayer inside her screaming, Buffy started to struggle. The sensation of his teeth in her neck was painful yet erotic as she felt an orgasm build. She bucked with energy that hadn’t left her with the blood that he was drinking. She wasn’t sure if this was the slayer trying to get free or her body moving itself towards completion. Spike clamped his arms and body down practically crushing her body as he marked her, claimed her. He softly growled, almost like purring, through the blood in his mouth and throat, quieting her struggles as the slayer became pliant under the soothing, familiar sound. His teeth ground into her one last time, disfiguring more of her skin. She passed out during her orgasm. Spike stopped drinking her blood and now concentrated on lapping up the blood that still pooled near the surface of his mark. His arms still held her body down. Spike moved his pelvis up and back down with a bruising force, spilling his seed again into her channel.



Letting go of her arms and body, Spike moved off of her shocked body. He licked her neck every couple minutes, helping her healing process. She brought one hand up to her wound testing it. She winced as her fingers brushed the sensitive skin. The slayer awoke inside her as she jumped up and ran upstairs. Spike, startled at the quick departure of his mate, followed closely behind. They ran up to the second floor and into the bathroom. Buffy stood in front of the large mirror looking at her reflection. On the side of her neck a large very noticeable bite mark stood out from her near perfect skin. Spike had managed to cover all previous bites with his mark. She could see two distinct holes where his upper canines sunk in and numerous deep indentations that were starting to discolor. Spike watched her reach for a washcloth and dab at his mark. She winced as the rough material came in contact with her neck. He practically covered the whole side of it with his mark. Buffy thought to herself that Spike wasn’t kidding when he said it was quite violent. She wished that it was her Spike that marked her, instead of this broken one. She wanted to share the experience with him, give herself completely to him. She continued to wash the wound and realized that his teeth were not even in her jugular, but his teeth missed it. She took out the antiseptic, dabbing a few cotton balls on the bottle, ready to dab her neck when Spike came up behind her. He grabbed her wrist, wrenching it in a weird position making her drop the wet cotton balls. He sniffed her neck and then nuzzled the bruise lightly. His tongue came out and licked her open wounds. “Spike, please… I have to used antiseptic.” Spike twirled her body around so it faced him. His head bobbed up and licked her cheek before repositioning onto her neck. His mouth reattached as he sucked, causing her body to jerk with pain. Again he went back to licking the two puncture bites. He lifted his head and grabbed the bottle of antiseptic and shook his head. “Why can’t I use antiseptic?” Spike’s head tilted and a smirk appeared on his lips. His tongue darted out and licked her bottom lip. It continued back down to his mark and he nuzzled her neck again. Understanding dawned and she nodded her head. “OK, I won’t use it, but we should keep it clean. Again Spike shook his head and licked it again. Buffy turned around to face the mirror and watched as the two puncture closed and the bruising got darker. Putting away the medical kit, Buffy heard the doorbell ring.





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