~~~Chapter Two~~~
~~Dear Buffy~~
Buffy put the phone down on its cradle, she felt slightly relieved about leaving the message on her sister’s answering machine, it felt like some of the weight was off her shoulders. She hoped that Lily would call her back soon, at least to let her know, that she got the message, it was nothing unusual for Lily not to show up sometimes, but the fact that William or Spike, as he liked to be called by family and friends, hadn’t showed up, played on her mind. It had been an important appointment, which they both should have been there, this was enough for the knot in her stomach to tighten so hard that she felt nauseated, as the bile hit the back of her throat. She couldn’t put it down to morning sickness, as she appeared to have been spared that for now, not that Dr Singer hadn’t warned her it may happen later.
Making herself a peppermint tea, she thought that it might help with the tautness in her stomach, and to settle her nerves. Taking the tea back to the sofa in the living room, she sat down, sipping the tea as she went, trying to think good thoughts, as all this worry couldn’t be good for the baby she carried. Her thoughts went to the time that she had offered the childless couple to be their surrogate, as it would appear that they wouldn’t have had their own, any other way, due to Lily’s infertility problems. Polycystic ovaries stopped the young woman from conceiving, and Buffy offering to help them, seem to be the closest thing to having their own child. They both had knocked the idea back, the first time she offered, but as time went on it seemed that besides choosing someone else besides Buffy, it was an option they both decided was the way they wanted to have a child, as Lily’s fertility treatment failed time and again. She would always see her sisters’ husband’s distraught face, each time they returned from Dr Singer’s office, with another negative pregnancy test. Lily never seemed to perturbed about it, and she always would say to Spike “Next time”. But next time never came, so after a year that the couple had stopped trying, Buffy had offered her help, for her sister and her own reason’s, that stayed silent and never see the light of day.
Buffy leaned over to the coffee table, putting her tea cup down onto it’s saucer, she picked up today’s mail. Bill, bill, bill, junk mail, and a yellow envelope with an unmistakeable handwriting. Lily’s, scrolling letter’s covered the letter face, as Buffy read her own name and address, tearing the letter open, she removed the contents of the matching paper.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Spike dropped the glass that held the amber liquid, as the contents feel over his trousers, he swore at himself, as he watched it penetrate the fabric, and flow over into the white carpet. Leaving the glass where it fell, he walked back into the kitchen, damping a cloth he blotted his pants the best he could to remove the alcohol. He looked down at his trousers, it looked like he’d wet himself, which he reflected was something he’d nearly done after hearing Buffy voice as she left her message.
He felt as if someone was playing a cruel joke on him, his world had come crashing down around him, and the implications of what was going around him, was just to much to bear. He couldn’t fathom what to do now, he was caught between breaking everything he could with his bear hands, and screaming out in jubilation with the news of Buffy’s successful pregnancy. His head was beginning to pound from the headache that had begun in his brain, with all the whirling contradictions that his life had become in the last few hours.
Picking up the phone, he tried calling some of Lily’s friends, trying to find out if she was staying with them, before she made her final dash, back home. Home to Lily, he knew meant London, a million miles from here. With every call, his suspicion grew that she had either fled the country, or her friends were lying to him, deep inside himself he knew that she gone home. He continued his calls, this time Trans-Atlantic, hoping one of her friends in London may take pity on him and tell him her where bouts. Considering the news he received it was imperative that they talk, he just knew they could work it out, or six years of marriage would go down the proverbial toilet.
No one would tell him anything, even when he plead with some of her friends, laying his heart out on his sleeve, it got him no where. Feeling defeated, he decided to give it a rest for the night, and sought out the next most important thing in his life, he’s unborn child.
At least in that he could take some joy.
Picking up the phone again, he dialled the local cab company and asked for a cab, to take him to the other side of Sunnydale. He had drunk way too much, and didn’t want to kill himself on the way to one of the most important discussions in his life. So he requested a cab, and was asked by the operator for a destination, he clearly recited the address.
To Buffy’s place.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Opening the paper, Buffy picked up her tea and took another sip, she couldn’t look at the contents of the letter just yet. As a wave of nausea struck her abdomen again, she felt like she was going to dry wretch, as a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach seized her. Unable to put it of any longer, she read the letter.
Buffy,
You know that you mean the world to me, and it makes me sad to write this letter to you, considering everything that you’ve done for me over the last few years. Especially now, but there’s no way to tell you, except for me to tell it to you in a letter, because I’m too afraid to tell you, to you’re face. If anyone in this mess deserves it more, it’s you.
I can’t put it any simpler but to tell you that I’ve gone home, permanently. I’m not happy here and I’m not in love with William any more. To put it in words is just too hard. I just want to go home, and it really comes down to that. I know that I should have told you, and put a stop to the surrogate thing, but I thought that it might make things different, but thinking about the doctor’s appointment today, I panicked and it made me face the truth.
I don’t want this.
I hope for all our sakes that the insemination didn’t work, and you’re not pregnant. But if you are, I’ve left enough money in your bank account today to take care of it. I’m sure that considering the circumstance that Dr Singer could refer you onto someone.
I’m sorry Buffy, I don’t know what else to say, but I do love you. I’m so sorry to have done this to you, but I thought I was doing the right thing.
I’ve gone home to London, to Grandmother’s, I hope that she’ll help me find my life again, considering I’ve fucked it up so badly so far. I’ll call you later to see how your going, I do care about you, but I just cannot face up to what I’ve done yet.
I’ve left a note for William too, I’m just couldn’t face him either.
Love
Lily
Buffy dropped her cup of tea, onto the floor narrowly missing her legs that where exposed from her skirt. Fear gripped her heart, as she felt it thump in her chest rapidly, she could feel her blood pressure rise, and a red hot flush come over her. She quickly jumped to her feet and ran for the bathroom, bending over the bowel of the toilet, she threw up the contents of her stomach, as the reality of what was happening hit her like a lightening bolt.
Lily had fled from her husband, and most importantly leaving her holding the baby.
She heaved until there was nothing left to come out, slowly crawling to the sink, she pulled herself up, and washed her face with cold water. Looking at herself in the mirror, she saw the reflection of a distraught self, the silent tears began to flow, as the reality of what Lily had written sunk in. Her sister had just managed to ruin not two lives, but three. Her husbands, her sisters and the baby’s. Yet one thing was clear to Buffy, she couldn’t do what her sister had told her to do, she couldn’t face a termination, she just wouldn’t do it.
Buffy knew that she would just have too carry the baby, she just drew a blank beyond that, thinking further than that was just too hard. It was further complicated by a dark shadow that could demand and rule over any decision’s she made about the baby, and the strength of that shadow placed even a greater strain on her resolution to have the baby.
Spike and the contract she’d signed agreeing to give up all parental rights to the baby.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Spike paced outside of his house as he waited for the cab, his mind lost within the chaos that surrounded him. His mind wondered, from getting Lily back home to sort out their marriage, too why she’d left, too Buffy and the child that lay in her womb. He took out a cigarette and lit the end with his silver lighter that Buffy had given him for Christmas, the first year that he’d married Lily. Staring into the flame, he could only imagine what Buffy was going to do once she heard the news. He knew one thing better it come from him, than someone else, and from her call he assumed that Buffy knew nothing of the days events and Lily’s departure.
The whole bloody thing was a mess, and how they were going to fix it was just a too complicated to think about. The most important thing he needed to do, he thought to himself, was to reassure Buffy that all would be well, what ever happened. He needed her to know that he would support her……………he stopped walking. His mind stopped, his gasped for air as he realised his train of thought……….he’d support her though out the pregnancy no matter what, he’d be there as her support person, instead of Lily. He could look forward to the nine months with her, be her friend, be there to help her with anything she needed, like Lily was meant too, if they could not work it out. Most importantly he could be with her through out the delivery and see the birth of his child………it finally hit him then, the what if Buffy didn’t want the child because of what was happening.
Taking a deep drag of air to his lungs filled with smoke, he just could help but think about the fact that Buffy may not want to continue with the pregnancy, with its two parents not together. That single thought created a deep abyss of dread that he’d never felt before, it even over shadowed the fact that Lily had just left. It paled in comparison, as his priorities had just been set, by circumstances out of his control.
In frustration, he looked at his watch as he continued to wait for the cab that he’d ordered, taking out his mobile phone, he dialled the cab company, and proceeded to bark a large complaint at the poor operator at the other end of the line. Turning to pace the lawn again, the cab’s lights shone down the street, barking an apology to the operator, he hung up. Flagging the cab, he opened the door even before the car, came to a stand still, and jumped into the backseat of the cab. Even before the driver could say ‘hello’, Spike offered the man a hundred dollars to get him across town as fast as he could, to pay for any speeding ticket he may get. Grabbing the bill out of Spike’s hand, the driver spun the wheel’s of his cab, as he hit the accelerator, to comply with his customers demands.
Spike knew that he had to get to Buffy as fast as he could, especially if Lily had beaten him to it, in telling her what had happened. He just couldn’t take the risk that she’d made a decision concerning the baby, a decision that he knew he’d live to regret if she choose the wrong one. Any other thoughts of Lily were put on hold as the car approached Buffy’s house, slowing down the car came to a complete stop in her driveway. Spike sat there his fear controlling him, he just didn’t now if he had any strength left to face Buffy if she resisted him.
“You getting out mister?” the cab driver asked his passenger.
“Yeah, and thanks for the ride.”
“Hey, for a hundred bucks for a twenty dollar ride, you can call me any day of the week!” with a fake smile for the patron.
Spike opened the door, and pulled himself out of the cab, stepping onto the curve, the cab moved away, leaving him to stand there in the dark alone. Very much how he felt at that moment in time. Taking the path to the house, he slowly climbed the stairs, his stomach tossed and turned with the alcohol he’d consumed earlier, making him feel even sicker than he had been before now. He raised his hand and knocked on the door, and waited for a reply.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Buffy turned her head to look at the door, as she lay on the couch with a blanket covering her, and her hands full of wet tissues. A knock on the door was the last thing she needed so she, decided to ignore it, she didn’t need the outside world to be invading her misery tonight, it was enough company. She’d just stopped thinking after along time, and just lay immobile on the couch, not wanting to feel anything, just numb and lost in the nothingness that had enveloped her. It was less painful than having to face the truth that, she was pregnant and it would appear alone in her pregnancy. Her sisters letter hadn’t helped, it made it clear what she wanted her to do about her pregnancy, and she just didn’t want to have to face up to what she’d done to her sister and husband.
The knock on the door became a pounding, but Buffy continued to ignore it as she pulled the blanket over her head to block out the world. After a short time the intruder gave up and left, Buffy could hear the steps of the person move away from the front door. She took a sigh of relief, and wiped her eyes again, as the tears continued to roll down her eye’s. She moved her hand to her stomach, spreading her hand over her middle, wondering what the baby looked like at this early stage, spreading her fingers over her abdomen, she felt the smooth skin that would soon begin to strength under the growth of her baby.
Her baby.
Her’s.
Mine.
My baby.
Her mind made her hearts intension clear, now that Lily had done what she’d done, there was no chance that do anything but have the baby. Buffy knew it was more complicated than that, she’d begun to build a wall around her heart along time ago, for the time she’d carry the baby for her sister, but she felt that wall obliterated by her sisters letter. She moved the blanket away from herself, and lifted her shirt that she wore, displaying the hand that lay on her flat abdomen.
“Hello in there. I’m your mom, and your mine!” Buffy spoke the words that her heart cried out.
Out of the shadows, created by the single light that shown in the corner of the room, came a voice she instantly recognised.
“And I believe mine as well.”
[Reviews - 155]
-
Table of Contents [Report This]
Chapter or Story |
Chapter or Story | 
Chapter or Story
Has been viewed 4053 times
- Text Size +
-
Table of Contents [Report This]
Chapter or Story |
Chapter or Story | Chapter or Story - Text Size +