Chapter One
Amidst the recriminations, apologies and general uproar that greeted Willow’s arrival and the subsequent breaking of the spell, no one noticed that Buffy had retreated to the bathroom and not come out. Nor that the resident chipped vampire had stormed out of the house, slamming the door behind him.
Eventually, as Willow began a marathon “I’m sorry” cookie-baking session, and everyone had chocolate chip goodness in their mouths, Xander looked around and asked, “Hey, where’s the evil, undead, sooo-not-ever-going-to-be-a-bridegroom?”
“Who knows?” Anya said. “Maybe he went for a walk. You know, to clear his head after the spell?”
“Who cares?” said Buffy, shuddering. “He’s not here. That’s all I care about.”
“Right there with ya, Buffster. But shouldn’t we be keeping tabs on him?”
“He’s harmless. He can’t hurt anybody, and he has nowhere to go. He’ll be back,” she said quietly.
(He’ll be back, and I’ll have to face him. Sooner or later I’m going to have to talk to him, or look at him, or touch….no, no touching. There will be no touching of the evil vampire. Not that he’d want to. He probably ran out to get away from me. He’s probably just as repulsed as I am. And I am. Repulsed. Totally. Never mind the amazing kissing and the soft touches and the…no! Repulsed. Just as I should be.)
Giles cleared his throat and looked hard at the very subdued Slayer.
“I presume you would like to thank me now for turning down your generous offer to take Spike into the bedroom where your kissing noises would not disturb me? The Lord only knows what might have happened if you two had been left alone in that state.”
Before Anya could get the words out of her mouth, Xander and Buffy shushed her – putting a puzzled pout on her face and a frown on the Watcher’s.
“You WERE never left alone, I hope?” He gave the ex-demon and her coughing boyfriend a threatening glare, while Buffy did her best imitation of a deer caught in the headlights.
“Well,” the boy began, “not alone, as such, no. Not for very long, anyway. I mean not long enough for any-“
“You irresponsible git! You left Buffy alone with William the Bloody while she was under a spell that had her thinking she was in love with him? What were you thinking?”
Anya refused to be shushed any longer and spoke up forcefully. “We were thinking that we wanted to have some orgasms and we didn’t want to do it in front of Spike and Buffy. Not that I don’t think we might be worth watching,” she added, with a nod in Buffy’s direction. “But Xander has this thing about privacy…”
“And, I repeat,” the watcher gritted out between his teeth, “you left Buffy alone with a vampire that has already killed two Slayers.”
Anya looked at the Watcher as though he was a not very bright small child and explained slowly, “Spike was in love too. He wasn’t going to hurt Buffy. At worst, he might have given her an orgasm. Vampires can be very—mmmph!”
Xander’s hand over her mouth brought a merciful halt to her explanation. The resulting scuffle as the angry ex-demon removed his hand and berated him meant that they all missed the sudden scarlet color that flooded Buffy’s face. By the time any one was looking at her again, she had dropped her head and was studiously pretending to read a book.
“Well, I suppose there’s nothing to be done for it,now, “ the man grumbled. “Fortunately, she seems none the worse for the experience.”
He glanced over at Buffy, who gave him a weak smile and immediately dropped her head back to the book. She pretended to read a while longer, then gave it up with a sigh and got to her feet.
“I need to patrol,” she said, edging toward the door. “with that spell and everything, who knows what might have gone on while I was thinking about…about weddings, and things. See you tomorrow!”
She whirled and bolted out the door, not dissimilarly from the way the vampire had before her. As soon as she was safely away from the apartment and the prying eyes of her friends and watcher, she slowed down and finally came to rest sitting on a bench near the campus of S.U.
Her fingers idly traced the scabbed over marks on her neck as she relived the events of the last few hours. Unwelcome memories of how solicitous Spike had been when her Watcher went blind, how gentle and tender he’d been with her, how overjoyed when she’d said yes to his proposal and worst of all – how completely safe and cherished she’d felt when he held her, all battled with memories of the many times he’d tried to kill her and the times he’d threatened her friends.
Suddenly she doubled over as a sharp pain shot through her solar plexus and she felt a bolt of rage and…(was that fear?) go through her. As quickly as it came, the feelings were gone. Shut off as though a switch had been thrown. She leaped to her feet, sending her senses out in all directions, seeking the source of the sensations.
Buffy wasn’t stupid. Even with her usual lack of attention to Giles’ attempts to education her about demons and vampires, she had picked up some knowledge of claiming rituals. She knew immediately who those feelings were coming from, and she almost growled in frustration at the way he’d cut her off.
She found that the marks on her neck were tingling, and that she could increase or decrease the tingles by turning in different directions. She was soon running through the campus, twisting and turning as the tingles got stronger and weaker. When they had settled into a steady throb, she knew she was approaching Spike and whatever had caused the initial pain.
She slowed down and moved toward a clump of bushes on the edge of the campus, edging cautiously toward the sounds of a struggle she could hear from the other side of the clump. She peered through the leaves and gasped as she saw Spike surrounded by men in black uniforms and commando gear. Immediately she knew that these were the men that had captured and neutered the blond vampire.
She stood there for minutes, torn between her duty as the Slayer to rid the world of vampires, and the incredible feeling of rage that was flooding her body as Spike tried to defend himself without setting off the agony in his head that she knew would accompany any aggressive moves on his part. She briefly admired his ability to dodge and evade the many blows that the small group of men tried to land. His vampire speed and his own innate fighting skills allowed him to hold his own for several minutes.
Suddenly Buffy was on the ground, shaking uncontrollably. As she struggled back to her feet, she saw that one of the men had apparently gotten close enough to the vampire to hit him with a tazer. The men were now kicking him as he lay on the ground, unconscious and bleeding. With Spike unable to block the claim, Buffy felt echoes of every blow and she staggered into the clearing, placing herself between Spike and the largest of the commandos.
“Is this a private party, or can I play?” she asked in a chirpy voice. There was something vaguely familiar about the man in front of her and she saw him flinch just a little when he saw her face.
(Interesting…apparently I know one of these guys. Definitely gonna have to explore that angle. After I get them away from Spike.)
She felt Spike stirring behind her and risked a quick glance to see if he was all right. To her surprise, he looked up at her and said, “Get out of here, Slayer.”
She shook her head, “no” and turned back to face the advancing soldiers, backing up to stand over Spike as she did. The man who seemed to know her held up his hand and the others stopped their advance.
“What the hell, Finn? It’s just one girl and she’s trying to protect a hostile. Just let me move her out of the…” his attempt to push Buffy to one side resulted in his body being propelled across the clearing and into a bush, from which he could be heard cursing and thrashing around.
When Spike’s voice whispered in her head saying, (“Leave! Buffy. Now. Get out of here.”) she was almost in motion before the impact of what he’d done hit her.
(Son of a bitch! He’s using the claim to order me around. I am sooo going to kick his butt!)
(If you don’t get out of here. Love, you won’t be kickin’ anything but plastic walls. You think they’re gonna let you go once they realize what you are? Leave me, dammit!)
Leaving the total wigginess of being able to talk to Spike without speaking aloud as something to worry about later, Buffy shook her head again and crossed her arms over her chest.
“Go pick on somebody who can fight back,” she said contemptuously. “This vampire belongs to me.”
At a signal from the leader, the remaining commandos jumped toward the Slayer all at once. Of the two coming at her from behind, Spike managed to trip one of them, causing only a minor headache, and Buffy flipped the other one over her shoulder and into the two advancing from the front. She followed up with a roundhouse kick to the chest of the man remaining on his feet, then turned to grab Spike’s hand and yank him to his feet.
(Can you run?)
(Yeah, Go. I’m right behind you.)
She threw a dubious look over her shoulder, but when she saw that he was, in fact, running easily behind her she increased her pace and they were soon off the campus and on the way to the Watcher’s apartment. Buffy tried to ignore the fact that Spike was still clinging to the hand she’d used to pull him up. She told herself she was allowing him to hang on just so that she would know if he began to fall back.
As they approached the apartment complex, Spike slowed down, pulling on Buffy’s hand until she stopped and turned to face him. Now that the immediate danger was over, she remembered that she didn’t actually want to see the vampire again, let alone be standing in the dark with his hand still in hers. As he began to gently rub his thumb over her wrist, she moaned and tried to pull away.
“No, Spike. Stop that. You need to get out of sight.”
“So do you, love,” he said softly, moving into her personal space and never releasing her hand. “They know you’re something special now and they’ll be wantin’ to put you in that place and find out what makes you tick.”
(Damn. I don’t want to be this close to him. It’s too much like…what is he doing? Stop that!)
(Stop what, love? All I did was touch your face.)
(Stop touching me! There will be no touching of faces, or any other body parts….and…and get out of my head!)
“Alright, Slayer,” he surprised her by saying aloud. “But you’re gonna have to learn to stop projecting your thoughts if you don’t want me to know what they are.”
“I NEVER want you to know what they are, Spike! You and my thoughts? Very not mixy . What do I have to do to make this…thing…go away?”
She thought she saw a flash of pain go across his face, but he quickly masked it with his trademark smirk as he answered, “You mean the claim you put on me, pet?”
“You claimed me first!” she protested. “What the hell did you think you were doing?”
“I believe I thought I was making sure the world knew how much I love…loved…the woman I was going to marry. Didn’t mean to cause you any harm, pet. ‘S why my brain didn’t fry when I did it, I guess. I’m sorry,” he finished so softly she could barely hear him.
Buffy guiltily remembered how she’d been all over him at the time and how she’d unwittingly put her own claim on him. She looked away from his dejected face and played with the buttons on her shirt.
(This isn’t his fault. And it’s not mine, either. We were just caught up in Willow’s stupid spell and we acted the way two people who wanted to get married would have acted.)
“I’m sorry, too,” she muttered, still looking at her shirt and missing the look of surprise that crossed his face. “This wasn’t anybody’s fault…well, I mean, it was Willow’s fault, but not yours. Or mine. We couldn’t help what we…Oh god!”
Her eyes flew up to meet his puzzled expression.
“Spike! We had sex! Me. You. Us. The Slayer. A vampire. Oh my god. I had sex with William the Bloody. I let you…I touched your…I…Oh my god…”
“Easy, pet,” he stepped closer and unconsciously rubbed her arms soothingly. “You’re gonna hyperventilate on me.”
When she didn’t calm down, but continued to babble as her heart rate shot up and her breath came even faster, he cautiously exerted the claim and sent soothing feelings into her. He also used his touch to calm her, placing his arms loosely around her body and pulling her into his chest.
“Easy, love,” he murmured into her ear. “Easy, pet. It’s gonna be alright. I promise. No one’s ever gonna know. We can get Red to do a forgettin’ spell if you want. You don’t ever have to think about it again, if you don’t want to.”
When he felt her relax and lean into him, resting her head briefly on his chest, he sighed and rested his chin on the top of her head. Knowing it might well be his last chance, he inhaled the herbal scent of her silky hair and stored it away in his memory.
When she felt his arms around her, Buffy immediately calmed down, basking in the comfortable feeling. The soothing baritone voice crooning in her ear worked like magic to ease the panic she’d allowed herself to wallow in.
She looked up at him and tentatively asked, “No one will know? Are you sure? How can I trust you?”
She winced when she felt the pain that shot through him – even though he smothered it immediately and never let it show on his face. He quickly adopted his usual snarky expression and said, “Hey, I’ve got no desire to get dusted over somethin’ I did because of a spell. You think I want your watcher or the whelp knowin’ we…especially now that I can’t defend m’self. And I’d be the laughin’ stock of the demon world if they knew I…if they knew I’d wanted to marry the Slayer No worries, pet.”
Buffy suddenly realized she was being held in the very arms that she was so adamant she needed to forget, and she pushed herself away with a little gasp.
“What are we doing?” She felt the panic coming back into her voice, but she couldn’t help it. There had to be something very wrong about Spike’s arms around her feeling so right.
“Nothin’, pet,” he soothed. “We’re not doing anythin’. Jus takin’ a little breather before we go inside. ‘S alright, love.”
“Stop doing that!”
“Stop doing what?”
“Stop calming me down! And stop calling me…love. It’s not…right. I’m the Slayer…not…not your love. That was just the spell. The spell that we are sooo going to forget!”
“Was it really all that bad, lo-Slayer?”
His hand gently traced her face and he didn’t try to hide what he was feeling. Buffy tried to ignore the sadness radiating from the vampire as he continued to stroke her cheek. She vigorously nodded her head and said firmly, “Yes, of course it was. I mean there was kissing, and touching, and…then we…argh!”
(No, it wasn’t all that bad. It wasn’t bad at all. It was amazing, actually…But I’m the Slayer. I can’t--)
“What?!“ she demanded as the vampire regained his cocky look and moved closer to her, grinning at her indignant expression.
“Methinks the lady doth protest too much.”
“Huh? Who thinks? What lady? What are you talking about?”
“You’re projectin’ again, love.” He lowered his mouth to brush his lips across hers, smothering her protest as he did so. “You won’t have any secrets from me if you don’t learn to control the claim. I’ll know every little…” kiss…”naughty”…nibble…”thought”…lick…”you”…kiss…”have”.
“No fair,” she moaned as his tongue licked her lower lip and she unconsciously brought her own tongue out to tangle with it.
“All’s fair in love ‘n war, pet. Know you musta heard that quote.”
“This isn’t either one, Spike!” she pushed feebly on his chest as she struggled to ignore the warmth in her lower abdomen created by his lips and tongue. “We’re not at war anymore. And we’re not in lo-“
With a growl, the vampire dropped every barrier he’d put up to protect her from the claim and let what he was feeling flow between them. When he heard her gasp, “Oh my god!,” and saw her squeeze her eyes shut, he smothered the flow before she could sense how badly she’d hurt him with her reaction.
Dropping his arms from where they’d remained around her slight body, he stepped away, his posture rigid and his face closed.
“Right then. Guess we’d best be getting’ in and talkin’ to Red about that forgettin’ spell. Can’t have the Slayer walking around remembering how much she wanted the Big Bad now, can we?”
He whirled and moved toward the door, not seeing Buffy’s hand that had come up to reach for him when he finished speaking. It had been a reflex action on Buffy’s part. An instinctive need to soothe the pain her mate was feeling; but when he didn’t see it, she let her hand drop and moved slowly toward the door, trying desperately not to think to or about him.
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Author's Chapter Notes:
This fic is almost done, and quite long, so whenever possible I will try to fit two chapters per post. So don't be confused by the numbers you see on the site - check the header on the update to see if you've read that chapter or not.