“Honey, are you sure?” Joyce Summers cast a worried glance at her only daughter. “Because you usually eat a breakfast that would make Denny’s jealous.”

For the past week, the thought alone of eating before 10am had made Buffy nauseous. She was yet to experience the dreaded morning sickness, but that didn’t mean that her cast-iron stomach was up to par. Offering her mother what she hoped was a comforting smile, she tried to ease her worries. “Maybe I’m just coming down with something.” Yeah, a nine-month virus... “I’ll just make myself a peanut butter sandwich and bring it with me to school. I’ll eat it when I’m in class.”

Not reassured in the least--Joyce hadn’t known Buffy to get sick since their move to Sunnydale four years ago--Buffy’s mother knew that if her daughter was not well, there had to be something seriously wrong with her daughter. But, as the patient mother she was, she decided to ease off for the moment, hoping that her child eventually came to her in confidence. Hands flat against the island counter’s cool white surface, she watched Buffy putter around, making her lunch.

Joyce’s eyebrow shot up as she watched the young woman put together the peanut butter sandwich, a banana, an apple, a granola bar, a cup of soup pouch and half a sleeve of crackers. Something’s definitely up. Maybe I should make it a point to be here more often on mornings...

***

“Buffy!”

The Slayer turned around, scanning Sunnydale U’s main concourse for a shock of red hair. Sure enough, her best friend Willow pulled herself from the mass of students to catch up with the small blonde.

“Hey, Willow.” Buffy tried to hide the pain she was feeling--she believed she’d somehow managed to hide everything from her mother that morning, so maybe the act would snag her friends as well. With false enthusiasm and a wide grin, she hugged the other woman.

Something was off. Willow’s best friend spidey-sense was tingling and she vowed to get to the bottom of whatever it was. “Your class doesn’t start till 10:30, right?”

Uh-oh. “Um, that’s right.” Willow was a creature of habit. This wasn’t in their Tuesday routine, and Buffy was worried. A Willow routine about-face could have damning implications...

“Good. Neither does mine. That gives us a little time to ourselves. You know, best friend bonding and all that.” Smiling brightly, she grabbed Buffy by the shirt sleeve and began to pull her towards an exit. “Why don’t we go find a nice bench and catch up?”

Buffy frowned at the redhead’s strange suggestion. Definitely of the bad... “Catch up? Wills, we were both here yesterday.”

Darn, think fast! “Oh! I know that! It’s just that... you know, lots of things can happen between school and... school. Important things.” She aimed her patented resolve face at the blonde walking beside her. “Things you might only feel comfortable sharing with a best friend...” Hint, hint. Come on, Buffy.

As they sat down on a bench far removed from any student clusters, Buffy thought to herself: How does she always see through me? Even her mom hadn’t suspected anything. Well, there was that raised eyebrow when she was assembling the food-for-an-army... Great. She had to be the worst actress ever. Anyway, it wasn’t like she was going to be able to hide this particular secret for very long.

Tears pooled in her eyes, unbidden but not unwanted. She’d shed too many tears in the past fortnight to hold a grudge against them--shedding them seemed to be the only way she’d kept her sanity. A cracking voice whispered “Oh, Willow” before the young woman broke down, seeking refuge in the arms of her very concerned best friend.

Ok, maybe this was much, much worse than she’d imagined. Willow had assumed that her friend’s odd mood was founded in a fight with her mother, or with Giles, or maybe even having lost a fight against some unnamed demon the night before. Then, of course, there was Riley... But Buffy and Riley were so close--the perfect couple. Both good looking, both popular, both so in love with each other.

When the sobbing ebbed, the redhead tried to get the devastated girl’s attention. “Buffy?” She pulled a tissue out of her purse and presented it to her friend. “What’s wrong? You know you can tell me anything, don’t you?” With a sly smile, she added: “Remember? It’s rule #3 in the girlfriend’s handbook...”

As she lifted her head from Willow’s shoulder, Buffy realized two things. One, she was getting another of those killer headaches. Two, she should have told her best friend about this the minute she found out. Well, here goes--might as well be as blunt as possible. She took a deep breath. “Willow, I’m... I’m pregnant.” At the look the redhead gave her--a mix of surprise and compassion, but not an ounce of disappointment, Buffy fought back a new onslaught of tears.

“Oh my... Oh! Oh, Buffy... Pregnant? But how?” At the pointed look the blonde gave her, she stumbled. “Well, I know how, but what I mean is how--didn’t you use protection?”

Buffy blew her nose once again. God, I must look like shit. “That’s the thing, Wills. We never, you know, without protection. Not once.”

Willow’s rational mind stepped forward for just a moment. “Well, condoms are only something like 99.9% safe. The only way you’re 100% safe is by not doing anything.”

A self-deprecating laugh escaped the blonde. “Great. First I’m chosen as the Slayer, then I’m the 0.1% that condoms can’t protect. Maybe I should start buying lottery tickets or something.”

“What does Riley think of it? I mean, he must be happy, right?”

She hadn’t meant it. She really, really hadn’t, but Willow’s words seemed to have re-opened the floodgates.

The thought of her so-called love and of their fight the night before stung like a fresh wound. No longer able to hold back the tears, she leaned once again into her friend’s embrace. Next time she was in a church, Buffy vowed to give thanks for her friends. Between sobs, she managed to tell Willow what had happened: Riley’s insistence that they were both too young, his abortion suggestion, and his departure for Belize.

By the time Buffy had finished her tale, Willow’s face matched her hair. “Ooh! The big jerk! How dare he run away when you need him most.” A wicked smile formed on her lips. “If you want, I can try to find a spell, you know--something that’ll shrivel up his parts?”

Buffy couldn’t help but laugh at her friend’s suggestion. “That’s ok, Wills. I think the best thing I can do is plough through and come out strong. That way I can prove that I’m stronger than him. Although I might take you up on the spell dealie when I’m in labour...”

Her words may have been spoken lightly, but the blonde felt nothing short of fear at her near future. How would she be able to cope with everything? With Slaying, school, a baby--all by herself?

Almost as if she’d read her thoughts, Willow took Buffy in a big hug. “Don’t worry, Buffy. You’ll manage great. And you’re not alone. You’ve got your mom, Giles, and us Scoobies. We’ll be your network support group.”
“Thanks, Will.” Buffy stood up and stretched. Looking at her watch, she groaned. “Well, looks like it’s time to get to class.”

Somewhere inside of Willow, there was a rebel. He was eensy, he was teensy, he was rarely let out to play, but he was there nonetheless. Yes, they‘d have to skip classes... “Buffy, have you been to a doctor yet?”

Biting her lower lip, the Slayer had the sense to look sheepish. “Uh, no. I just did one of those home pregnancy kit thingies, but that’s it.”

Standing up and offering the crook of her arm, the redhead nodded towards one of the buildings. “Well, why don’t we do that right now, then? The doctor on campus is really nice--I saw her for a sore throat last month--and you really need to see someone. You’ve got the baby to think of now.”

Ooh, sneaky best friend, using the baby as a wild card! “That was low, Willow. But you’re right. It’s just that--well, you know how I feel about doctors. They give me the wiggins... But if you’re there with me, I think I can put my brave face on.” She accepted the redhead’s arm, and they made their way towards the doctor’s office.

Telling Willow had been the right thing to do, Buffy realized. Why she tried to keep all this to herself was beyond reckoning.