THE SPUFFY REALM :: Come on you know you wanna dance

*

Buffy tapped gently on the door to her best friend's apartment, her head hung in shame. You're not gonna ask him to do it. You're not gonna ask him to do it, understand, Summers? It's ridiculous.

She backed away and was about to make a break for the stairs but the door flung open and she found herself face to face with Spike, and of all things, shirtless, freshly-showered, only-in-tight-black-jeans Spike. She supressed a gasp and smiled at him, mumbling shyly, "Hey, Spike."

"Hey, kitten. What're you doin' here?" He frowned at her and took her hand gently, guiding her into the apartment. "Why were you sulking out there in the hallway? Is something wrong?"

"Nope. No way. No, siree." She grinned and with a nervous giggle, insisted, "I'm great. I just thought we could spend our Friday night together like always."

"Yeah, but you have stuff going on tomorrow. Kind of big stuff, sweetheart." He forced a smile at her and noticed Buffy did the same, her eyes welling up as she hung her head in shame. Spike sighed and forced her down onto the couch. "Tell me what's wrong."

"Nothing." Buffy mumbled, hanging her head again.

"Cold feet, sweetheart?" He guessed, taking her hand gently.

"No!" She insisted, thoughts of her wonderful Angel returning. "God, no."

"Then what is it?" He asked, running his hand through her soft locks of blonde hair, comforting her in their secret way.

Buffy smiled up at him and whispered, "I'm getting married tomorrow, Spike."

He nodded and muttered, "I know."

She noticed the sadness on his face and edged closer to him. "Hey.. gimme a smile."

He forced a smile at her and said quietly, his voice close to breaking as he lied to his best friend, "I'm happy for you, princess."

"I don't know if I am." Buffy whispered and hoped he hadn't heard it.

Spike gazed at her curiously and wondered aloud, "What's wrong?"

"I'm just scared about something." Buffy mumbled, blushing as she faced him. "I don't know if I can tell you, though."

"Hey." Spike frowned at her and gave her hand a determined, reassuring squeeze. "You can tell me anything and everything. In fact, you'd better. I'm losing you to that wanker, but if there's something you wanna get off your chest, you. Come. To. Me."

"God, caveman much?" Buffy teased, giggling. "I know."

"Then what is it?"

"Remember.." She sighed reminiscantly, and smiled as she continued, "Remember when I was going out with Riley in middle school? How I got too nervous to kiss him, so I made you kiss me so I'd know what it was like?"

Spike wondered if she was kidding him. It was eleven years later and it was all he thought about - how soft her lips had been, how her hand had gripped his, how every part of her shook with anxiety.. how flushed her face had been when it was over. He'd spent eleven years cursing the moment he'd ended that kiss. He smiled at her with more confidence than he actually felt and replied, "Yeah."

"Well.. I.." Buffy sighed and blurted out quickly, "Spike, I'm still a virgin."

"I know." Spike replied bluntly, watching in amusement as Buffy's jaw dropped. He chuckled and said gently, "Come on, kitten. I know you. I've known you all my life, and if you'd have had sex, you would've told me."

"Well.. I stayed a virgin this long because I always wanted to be all new for my husband. But I don't think Angel wants that so much.. I think what he wants is some sex vixen." She glared at Spike as he burst out laughing and snapped, "Fine, laugh all you want."

She got up to leave but he yanked her back down and pulled her into his lap, wrapping his arms around her. He hugged her and whispered, "You'll do great, kitten. Don't worry about it."

"Really?" Buffy stared at him forlornly, her lip curling into a pout. "I'm scared, Spike."

"Scared?" That was exactly what she'd said to him eleven years ago before their kiss. Spike's heart jumped up into his mouth and started choking him as Buffy continued,

"I don't want Angel to be my first, I don't think. I love him and all.. but I just don't know.. I want it to be with someone I trust."

"You.. you don't trust him?" Spike stammered as she ran her hand through his hair.

"Not as much as I trust you." Buffy whispered. "I've known you forever.. and I think maybe.. you should be the one. So I know what it's like.. so I know what to do.. so.. so.. I don't know. It wouldn't be cheating.. it's you, Spike... it's you.."

"Hmm." Spike pulled away from her and cleared his throat uneasily.

"Would it be weird?" She worried aloud, staring up at him tearfully.

"Oh, don't you start crying now. You know what that does to me." He quickly bundled her up in his arms again, and gently persisted, "Do you really want me to be your first? Come on, Buffy.. it's me."

"I trust you, and love you." Buffy pointed out, noticing he flushed at this admission. She frowned and asked worriedly, "Do you not want to? I mean.. it's okay if you're not attracted to me.."

"Buffy, you're beautiful." Spike smiled shyly and stood up, pulling her up with him. "I'd love to do this, kitten.. but.."

"Will it change things?" She fretted, starting to pull away. "I don't want it to change things, Spike."

"Nothing'll ever change with us, Buffy." He promised, misery tinting his tone slightly. He pulled her into his arms and leaned down to kiss her when Buffy yelped,

"No! No kissing." She frowned as he chuckled and demanded, "What's so funny?"

"I'm going to have to kiss you, sweetheart." He murmered, lowering his lips to hers. His heart started slamming against his chest again as his tongue slipped into her mouth and danced with hers, his arms slipping around her waist. Buffy gasped and melted into his arms, completely succumbing to the kiss. It felt amazing, and as she felt him scoop her up into his arms, the world fell away. Before she knew it, she was lying on his bed, and his kisses were moving down her neck.

She cried out in suprise as Spike closed his mouth over her nipple that was concealed under both her bra and shirt and started suckling on it gently. He tugged at the hem of her shirt and whispered, "May I?"

Buffy nodded as best she could, for within seconds, he'd turned her into complete jelly. She sat up slightly so he could pull the t-shirt over her head and unlatch her bra at the back. As the red lacy garment fell away Spike held it in his hands for a moment and smiled up at her. "This is bloody sexy, luv."

She blushed and tossed it aside with a soft giggle as his fingers found her breasts. He stared at them in fascination and whispered, "You're so beautiful."

She let out a soft whimper as his words ran through her like fire. His fingers started caressing her soft mounds in long, luxurious strokes filled with nothing but love. Buffy arched her back and cried out into the night as his tongue found her left nipple and twirled around it, sending rushes of arousal down between her legs. She started to throb, her hips rising up as her panties became damp. Spike's hands grasped her hips as he ventured further down her body, marking his trail with soft kisses, licks and nibbles.

He reached her thighs and peered up at her curiously, his hands caressing the soft fabric of her skirt. Buffy nodded and he quickly tore it away, tossing it away, as he stared down at her panties, a red lace garment, just as her bra had been. It was a thong, as teeny-tiny as they could come, and he wished he could tear them off and push her to the floor and fuck her then and there.

But this was Buffy. His Buffy. The Buffy he'd known since they were babies. The Buffy he'd loved for twenty-five years without a word said. And she was almost naked in front of him. Spike swallowed hard, his erection now painfully erect and straining against his tight jeans. He picked Buffy up and set her on her feet, turning her around so he could see her ass. He pressed a soft kiss to the small of her back as he pulled her panties away slowly. He tossed her down onto the bed and mounted her body, kissing his way up her soft, slender legs until he came to face her sex.

She was utterly divine. Untouched, unloved, and all his. Spike placed his hands on her luscious thighs and parted them gently, a soft moan escaping him as he stared at her. Her lips were framed with carefully trimmed curls and were glistening wet for him. Buffy's worried voice broke his thoughts as she asked, "Am I okay?"

"Wha--? Oh, god, kitten.." He gazed at her adoringly and whispered, "You're perfect. You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen."

She whimpered as his finger circled gently around her clit, and then slid down within her folds. Spike stared at his finger, shining with her sweet juices, and meeting her eye, he slowly licked them away. Buffy felt more juices pool between her legs and pleaded with him, "Touch me, Spike. Please.. I need you."

"I need you too, luv." He said, pushing her thighs further apart. "I need you more than ever."

She was too aroused to make sense of his words and raked her fingers through his hair, wiggling her hips desperately. He took the hint and traced his tongue over her lips and around her clit, sending Buffy into a fit of shudders. He lapped at her juices and then slid his tongue inside her. Buffy arched her back up off the bed and screamed as her orgasm hit her hard, shaking her to the very core. Her entire body jolted with the passion and pleasure he made her feel, and when she finally collapsed down from her high, she landed in his arms.

"That was amazing." Buffy murmered, clinging to him. "That was.. oh, my."

He chuckled, expelling hot breath against her neck. Buffy gazed at him and whispered, her hand running over his chest lustfully, "Why don't you get naked, baby?"

The 'baby' threw him for a moment, and he felt for a moment this was more than just one night of passion. He felt she really loved him back, and wanted more than just to learn what it was like with a man.

Even if she didn't love him back the way he loved her, and even if she didn't want exactly what he wanted.. she trusted him. She loved him enough to let him do this. That was enough for him.

Spike stood up and unbuckled his belt, then shed his jeans. He watched as Buffy's eyes grew wide at the sight of him and smirked at her. "Yes, pet?"

She stared at him in shock, wondering if he was that aroused by her. His cock stood high, poking against his stomach, long, thick, hard, and oozing juices. His balls hung heavily and she found herself wanting to lick them suddenly and blushed bright red. This was her friend, her best friend in the whole wide world, who she loved more than anything.

More than Angel? She wondered, cursing herself for the thought. Buffy shook it away immediately and gazed at Spike longingly as she wrapped her fingers around the head of his cock. He gasped and she instantly panicked, crying out, "Did I hurt you?"

"No. Keep doing that." He murmered, collapsing onto the bed beside her. She smiled and gently took hold of his erection again, stroking the hard length with her warm hands. As he continued to moan and groan under touch, Buffy grew more confident and more determined and dipped her hand down to caress his balls. A strangled cry of her name escaped his lips and Buffy planted a soft kiss to his belly button, moving down further slowly. Buffy traced her tongue around head of his cock and enveloped it in her mouth, lapping her tongue over it greedily as his hands became tangled in her hair. She felt him tense and paused for a moment but soon realized it was the good kind of tensing. Buffy chuckled softly to herself, expelling hot breath against him, the rumbling of laugh vibrating against him at the same time. She kept his balls clutched in her hand and squeezed gently, and with a loud shout of her name, Spike came. Buffy placed two hands on his chest and smiled at him saucily as she swallowed his come quickly.

"Was that good, baby?" She whispered, running her hand over his chest affectionately.

"That was bloody.. fucking.. amazing." He yanked her into his arms and pinned her down beneath him. "I've never wanted you so badly in all my life."

She wanted to ask if this meant he'd wanted her before but there was no time for words as he kissed her passionately, his lips bruising hers. Buffy felt him grow hard again, his cock nudging against her entrance. She moaned and wriggled her hips, pleading with him silently to enter her and make love to her.

It was as though the same thought struck them at the same time. Making love? Is that what we're doing? She bit down on her lip and whispered, "I'm scared."

"I won't hurt you." He promised, parting her thighs further. He rubbed her clit gently and peppered kisses over her face. "It'll feel so good, sweetheart."

"I know." She smiled at him as he planted his left hand down beside her head, using his right to caress her gently. Buffy gasped and bucked her hips up, eager for his touch now. Spike pressed a soft, reassuring kiss to her lips and then thrust inside her, groaning as she enveloped him in her heat. Buffy cried out in shock as he tore through her, and her eyes bulged out of her head, filled with tears.

"I'm sorry." Spike whispered frantically, starting to pull out of her.

"No, don't." She took a deep breath and started moving under him, pulling him in deeper. The pain disappearing fast, Buffy wrapped her arms around his neck as he thrust inside her gently, his hands on her waist, kneading her with masterfuk fingers. She cried out as with each thrust, he ground against her clit, doubling the sensations that were already roaring inside her.

She was everything he'd ever imagined. From when she was nine and he'd kissed her knee when he'd grazed it, shoving a stick into her bike spokes, or from when she was thirteen and made him kiss her, or from when she was eighteen and they'd gotten stuck outside in the rain. When he'd finally broken into his house, they'd raced to the shower eagerly and tumbled into it at the same time, and seen each other naked. Buffy had said she didn't care and had kept her eyes averted as they lathered each other up, casual kisses placed here and there.

This was better than any of that. He was finally making love to her, and she felt utterly amazing. Spike stared down into her hazel eyes and kissed her, one hand again tangling through her soft locks of blonde hair, a more passionate act of their secret way of comfort. Buffy cried out as he plunged deeper inside her, and with a loud scream of his name she climaxed hard. Watching her fly into a fit of ecstasy yelling his name was more than enough to drive Spike over the edge, and with a final thrust into her hot core, he shouted, "Fuck! Buffy.. I love you. I love you!"

His words were shocking but brought her over the edge for a second time, and they clung to each other as their highs faded away slowly.

As she came back to earth, Buffy opened her eyes and stared up at him in utter confusion. Spike wrenched away from her and jumped out of the bed, muttering to himself, "Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck!"

She clutched the sheets to her chest and asked in a small voice, "What did you just say to me?"

"FUCK!" Spike roared, throwing himself down in his armchair.

"Spike, what's going on?" Buffy asked in a wobbly voice as she crawled out of the bed and approached him carefully. "You just said you loved me."

"Oh, fuck." Spike murmered, staring up at her with sad blue eyes that ached every inch of her.

Buffy put her hand on his and then thought of something that sent a jolt of horror to her heart. "Spike.. you didn't use a condom."

"FUCK!" He yelled again and was out of the chair in a flash, grabbing his jeans and yanking them on quickly. Buffy watched as he paced the room in a fit of swear words that didn't dare come out of a sailor's mouth. He didn't look at her once, he just kept pacing and swearing, and finally it got too frustrating and she screamed,

"William Marcus Giles, get your ass over here!"

He froze and quickly scuttled over to the bed where her finger was pointed. He sat down and stared up at her as Buffy glared down at him. He knew he was in trouble whenever she used his full name - he could only remember three other instances when she'd done so. Once, when they were six or seven and he'd broken her favourite Barbie doll. That had been quickly forgotten when he'd bought her the bride Barbie she'd wanted forever, which in real time, was about a week.

At thirteen he'd spilt soda all over her new dress and, to quote her, "risked all of his parts".

Then there was when he was sixteen and had started smoking which had pissed her off to no end. There was no way to resolve that one, and he still got dirty looks from her to this very day whenever he lit a cigarette.

Right now he was very tempted to do exactly that but Buffy looked in no mood for his nonsense. Spike gazed up at her with the best innocent expression he could pull off and waited for her to speak.

"How long has this been going on?" She demanded, seething, as she glowered down at him.

He started weakly, head hung in shame, "I don't know.."

"WILLIAM MARCU-"

"Since I've known you!" He interrupted with a frustrated sigh. "Stop calling me that."

"Since you've known me?" Buffy asked, tears filling her eyes. "But that's twenty-five years!"

"Well.. for three or four of those we couldn't speak properly.. we were just bubs, luv.." He trailed off again, seeing the hurt in her eyes.

"Okay, so maybe for the first ten or eleven years telling me wasn't the best idea, we were just kids. But what about when I made you kiss me? What about when we showered together or at the prom? Why couldn't you tell me then?" Her brow creased and she glared at him again. "Or were you too busy perving on me?"

"That's outrageous!" Spike retorted defensively. "I would never!"

"You can't expect me to respond to this now." Buffy murmered, twisting her fingers together anxiously. "You kept me waiting all this time and now it's time for me to get married to someone else.. I can't take a chance on you now, Spike. It's too late. You're asking me to give up everything for something that might not even last."

"That's not fair." Spike frowned at her and insisted, "If I was with you, we'd last until the end of the world."

He yanked her left hand into his and glared down at her engagement ring. "I'd get a ring that you actually like, Buffy. This is bloody ugly and it's not you at all.. you know that, and I do too."

"It's too late." She insisted, tears streaming down her face now. She watched as Spike got up and stormed over to his bedside table and fished through the drawer's contents. "Spike, come here. We need to.. we need to talk more about this, baby. I don't wanna hurt you. I love you."

"See! Right there!" He smirked and repeated, "You love me. And I know that it's more than what you feel for Angel. That's why.. I think I should do this."

He knelt down and flipped open a tiny velvet box, presenting her with a silver band sporting a huge diamond. "Kitten, I'm not asking you to leave him or to choose me. I'm not asking you to give up this wedding today. I'm just asking you to look at me, right now, and tell me what you want more."

"How long have you had this ring?" She asked in a tiny, frightened voice.

"Er.. uhh.. not long." He answered with a slight stammer in his voice. "Picked it up a little bit ago."

"A little bit, as in twenty-five years, a little bit?" Buffy challenged him with an accusing glare. "How long?"

"Since graduation day. Was gonna propose to you then." He answered sulkily, peering at her curiously. "Are you mad?"

"Seven years? Seven fucking years?!" She screamed and tackled him onto the bed, thrashing him with a pillow. "How dare you keep this from me?"

"I'm sorry." Spike pleaded, clutching her wrists to stop her from beating him with the pillows. "Come on, kitten, I was scared."

She rolled to the side and stared up at the ceiling. "Scared in what way?"

"Of losing you. Of scaring you. Of you laughing in my face. Of you not loving me back." He pressed a tiny kiss to her shoulder and sighed. "Right now I'm scared of all that all over again."

"Well.." Buffy scowled at him and removed the tacky engagement ring Angel had given her and threw it aside. She took his and slipped it on her finger, noticing that it not only fit much better, it looked and felt and positively glowed with the love he felt for her. She gazed at him and whispered, "You're damn lucky I love you so much."

She pulled him to her and mumbled, "I'll forgive you for being such a jerk.. if you do something."

"What's that, sweetheart?" Spike murmered, his heart singing as she kissed him softly. He smiled from ear to ear down at her, silently promising he'd do whatever she asked of him.

"Do that thing with your tongue again?" Buffy requested shyly. "Just a tiny bit?"

"Gladly, kitten." He smirked down at her. "You like that, do you?"

"Of course I like that. And I do love you.. but you know me, denial queen. But denial's definitely better than keeping it a secret for, what, a quarter of a century? You're such a jerk." She said quietly and half-heartedly, peppering kisses over his brow. "Spike.."

"Yes, m'luv?" He whispered, clutching her to him, smiling against her neck as he kissed it.

"You'd better spend these next twenty-five years making this up to me." She muttered, stifling a gasp as he made his way down her body with soft kisses. "And the twenty-five after that.. and if I hear the word 'scared' again, you stand to lose-"

"All of my parts, yeah." He smirked up at her and said in a low voice, husky with lust, "I think you'd miss 'em if they were gone."

"Shutup." She smiled and drifted off into oblivion as he pleasured her, realizing, after many, many years of wondering, that this was where she was meant to be.

The End - please review :-)