Chapter 1


The Initiative HQ was exploding into chaos, demons and humans killing each other through all its underground chambers and corridors. In Room 314, Willow was desperately casting the Adjoining spell as fast as she could before Adam could destroy Buffy. That spell would give Buffy the four elements she needed to defeat Adam: Giles’s knowledge of Sumerian that would let her speak the incantations, Willow’s talent with magic that would power them, Buffy’s own fighting skills to allow her to get close enough to Adam for the spells to take effect, and Xander’s unshakable normality anchoring the whole.

Right now, in Adam’s hidden bunker behind 314, Buffy was definitely losing.

“You can't last much longer,” Adam told her with satisfaction. The fluorescent lights blazed down on him, cruelly exposing that grotesque mixture of human and demon and machine that the Initiative had created.

Willow’s Adjoining spell flared into being. Buffy’s eyes glowed orange.

“We can.” Buffy’s voice reverberated with the sound of four people speaking simultaneously. “We are forever.”

A casual pass of her hand turned the missile he fired at her into birds.

Adam jolted to a stop in disbelief. “How...can you...?”

“You could never hope to grasp the source of our power.”

She flung him into a wall, then rammed her hand into his chest and yanked out the uranium core attached to his spine.

“But yours,” Buffy continued, amused, “is right here.”

Adam fell lifeless to the ground, his face incredulous even in death. Riley ran staggering into the room, having finally defeated Forrest, then stopped short, realizing that they had won. He caught his breath, then moved hesitantly towards this changed Buffy, looking at her in awe.

Buffy was concentrating on the uranium core. It levitated towards the ceiling as she chanted in Sumerian, then disappeared.

Inside Room 314, everyone dropped, drained of energy, as Willow ended the spell.

“Wow!” Willow gasped. “That was...”

The door smashed open and a demon snarled in. No one had the strength to fight this new threat, found themselves gaping at it blankly. A moment later Spike charged in after the demon. There was a flurry of violent motion, then Spike broke the demon’s neck.

They all gawked at him and he smirked at them.

“Nasty sort of fellow. Lucky for you blighters I was here, eh?”

Since they were all aware that he had conspired with Adam against them, they knew darn well that the rescue was self-serving. He was trying to get back into their good books and remain undusted. However, the demon really had intended to kill them and he had indeed stopped it. Giles started to say something, then whirled at a yell from the inner room.

“Willow!” Riley was screaming. “Willow, help!”

“Oh, dear Lord!” gasped Giles. “Buffy!”

Everyone scrambled for the inner room. They tumbled in, then froze in shock at the sight of Buffy sagging unconscious in Riley’s grasp. He looked around at them in desperation.

“Do something!”

In his arms, Buffy was fading, turning translucent. They could see the room behind her through the mist of her dissipating body.

“I knew that spell was volatile!” cried Giles. “Something’s gone wrong! Willow!”

It was too late. Buffy vanished, just as the uranium core had.

“Christ, Red!” said Spike in shock, still frozen in the forward-leaning stance with which he had thrown himself into the room. “What did you do?”

Days later they still didn’t know. Buffy had vanished into thin air and every effort they made to bring her back or even locate her failed.

Adam was dead. The Scoobies had managed to fight their way through the chaos and out of the Initiative’s underground labyrinth, managed to open the locked doors and get everybody out. Adam’s plan to create more demon-human hybrids had been stopped cold, and so was the threat posed by the Initiative’s interference and experimentation. The Initiative was being pulled out of Sunnydale now and all the demons trapped by them were dead. But also dead were too many humans—so many of the Initiative’s soldiers, scientists and technicians. And Buffy was gone. The cost had been too high.

Willow did spell after spell without result in the inner room behind 314. There was a vague sense of Buffy’s presence there. But there was an equally vague sense of Buffy’s presence at Giles’s place. And at the dorm. And at Revello Drive.

“It’s as if her essence is everywhere,” Willow said. They were all at Giles’ place now, since it didn’t seem to matter where Willow tried her spells and Giles’ living room was more convenient than the room behind 314, in the midst of all the devastation and bodies. “And I can’t...I can’t seem to pull it together and bring her back.”

She broke down and wept. Tara rocked her back and forth in her arms, crying too.

No one said a word—the situation was too appalling.

“Always a price,” Spike muttered under his breath. “Always a price with magics and she was it.”

“Shut up, Spike!” Angel snarled. He and Spike had been giving each other antagonistic glares ever since Angel had arrived, but were both carefully avoiding starting any kind of fight, out of respect for the gravity of the situation. Angel and Riley were also studiously ignoring each other’s presence.

Spike didn’t even look at Angel. He frowned at the air instead, away off in his head somewhere. Giles gave him a suspicious glance. He was being remarkably subdued for Spike.

Angel paced back and forth. Giles had got in touch with him after several desperate, unsuccessful days and had begged him to contact the Powers That Be. Buffy was the PTB’s Champion. Surely they would find a way to bring her back from wherever she had gone. Word came back that Whistler would be along to see them today.

“Where the hell is he?” Xander muttered. He was steadily working his way through a box of donuts, the chewing motion of his jaws on the comfort food the only thing keeping him from freaking right out. Anya patted his shoulder.

“He’ll be here,” muttered Angel. “He’s reliable, even if he is a pain in the ass.”

“Is that a way to talk about someone willing to do you a favor?” sniffed Whistler, offended, as he materialized in the middle of the living room. Everybody jumped, then flung themselves at him.

“Where’s Buffy?”

“What did the PTB say?”

“Can you get her back?”

“Hey, back off! Talk about being grabby, people!” Whistler slapped at their clutching hands. “Give a man some breathing room!”

He took off his ugly hat and fanned himself with it.

“Everybody sit down. Got a few things to say.” He gave Giles a significant stare. “Parched with thirst here. Got anything to drink, Watcher?”

Giles hurriedly poured him a glass of Scotch. Whistler disposed himself comfortably in the best armchair and took a deep swallow.

“Right. First off, that spell of yours, Miss Rosenberg. That was a real whoppalooza. Big mojo.”

“I found it for her,” mumbled Giles, blaming himself.

“It wasn’t all her fault then. Thing is, a spell like that has a price and you didn’t pay it.”

“Told you,” muttered Spike.

“And you were quite right, Mr. Pr...” Whistler broke off at the dangerous glare Spike gave him. “Er...Spike. The spell therefore took its own price. Which was Miss Summers, its focus.”

“You mean, she’s dead?” Xander blurted.

“No!” cried Willow. “She can’t be! I can sense her!”

“You’re both right. She’s not dead exactly. But she’s not alive exactly either. Her molecules have been dispersed across the face of the planet. Basically, her essence, for lack of a better term, is everywhere.”

“But...that’s just the same as being dead!” exclaimed Giles.

“Well, yes. In its effects. However, she isn’t. Not really. She’s in a kind of limbo.”

“Well, bring her back!” snarled Angel.

“We can’t. We tried. We really did. But there are certain rules even the PTB can’t bend. Break those and you bring down galaxies. The Slayer exists to prevent apocalypses, not to cause them.”

“You mean, she’s gone?” Willow was weeping bitterly. “Really gone?”

“For all intents and purposes, yes. And the thing that you especially might find pertinent as a Watcher, Mr. Giles, is that, since she isn’t officially dead and her soul remains on this plane, no other Slayer can be called. And forget about that Faith chick. The Slayer line passes through Buffy.”

“No Slayers?” Giles was in shock. “Ever again? How am I going to tell the Council?”

“Oh, well. I wouldn’t tell them yet. The PTB are trying to find a way to bring her back. In the interim, however, there might be something we can do. There is a possibility...”

“What?” Giles looked up hopefully. “What possibility?”

“That we can bring over another Slayer temporarily.”

“But you said the Slayer line passes through Buffy,” Tara objected, wiping at the tears on her face. “And Buffy’s gone.”

“Not every Buffy in every parallel dimension is gone. One of them might agree to come over and help out. Pinch hit, as it were.”

He puffed out his chest and beamed at them as they all stared at him, their mouths open.

“Brilliant, isn’t it? It was my idea. The PTB said run with it, if you all are agreeable.”

“But...” Giles looked pole-axed.

“Another Buffy?” Xander asked blankly. “But...would it really be Buffy?”

“Oh, yes. It will be Buffy Summers. Not your Buffy, of course. There might be some changes, depending on what her experiences were in that other dimension. But it will be a Buffy, with her mind and personality and soul and whatever it is that makes a person a unique individual.”

“But what about our Buffy?” Tara said plaintively.

“We’re working on that,” Whistler said with genuine sympathy. “Oh, yes! We won’t give up. There might be a couple of loopholes. We may find a solution, so don’t give up hope yet. But we’re dealing with some massive forces here. Who knows how long it could take? Years maybe! And you need a Slayer right here and now, otherwise things would turn into chaos. So how about it?”

“Do it!” said Riley.

“Yes!” said Willow and Xander in chorus.

Tara and Anya looked nervous, but nodded reluctantly.

“It will be Buffy?” Giles asked. “You’re sure?”

“Just because she’s presently in another dimension doesn’t make her any less Buffy Summers. The thing with parallel dimensions is...” Whistler searched for an easy way to explain. “Say someone asked you to marry them. That would be a divergent point in your life depending on what decision you make. In one dimension, you say yes. In the other, you say no. The results are different, but the ‘you’ in both dimensions still remains the same.”

“All right,” said Angel. “All right. Let’s do it.”

“I wouldn’t,” muttered Spike. “Dangerous. Don’t know what the consequences might be. Always consequences with magic.”

“You don’t have any say in this, Deadboy!” Xander snapped and Spike pulled a mocking face at him, grinning.

“Oh, don’t listen to Cassandra here,” said Whistler and shook his head resignedly. “There’s always someone that rains on the parade. Do I have a go, people?”

“Yeah!” said Xander enthusiastically. Everybody else nodded, except Spike who had stretched himself out in his seat, his arms folded behind his head, and was watching them all with derision.

“Right,” said Whistler with satisfaction and got up. “I’ll go see who’s willing to come.”

***

Buffy was in a cold rage. Spike had been back and they hadn’t told her! All of them had known about his being back. Andrew had seen him in L.A. when he went to recover that damaged Slayer, Dana, and had told Giles at once. Giles had contacted Angel and Willow and Xander, and they had all put their heads together and decided that it was best not to let her know. After all, she was happy, wasn’t she? She was getting on with her life. Why upset things now? It was for her own good. All for the best.

Only, she wasn’t happy and she wasn’t getting on with her life. She was just going through the motions of living, caught in a bubble of pain and guilt and bitterness.

Why hadn’t she realized what Spike meant to her until that very last minute in the caverns?

‘I love you.’

‘No, you don’t. But thanks for saying it.’

Of course he hadn’t believed her, not after the way she had always treated him. Of course he had thought it just a sop thrown in pity to a dying man. And so he had burned, sacrificing himself for her.

She bit back the tears that were always present just under the surface these days, but which she had never allowed herself to give way to—out of guilt and self-hatred and bitterness, out of despair. It was her own fault. She knew that. So many things she could have done, should have done, but hadn’t. And if life seemed pointless and empty and desolate now, well, she deserved it, didn’t she?

And now to find that he had come back! She could have been with him! Could have had the time to convince him that she really loved him! But he had died again, caught up in Angel’s stupid war with the Senior Partners—before she even found out that he was alive!

She fought back the tears and glared instead with blazing eyes at Angel, sitting all pompous and smug and alive, damn him, in Giles’s office at the new Council of Watchers’ premises in London. Giles was head of the new Council and was rebuilding it and collecting the new Slayers that had been called after Willow’s grand spell. Buffy lived in Rome now, helping to train the ones there. Word of Angel’s battle had brought her to London. To learn that she had lost Spike a second time.

Angel had survived that battle. And so had the blue woman, god, whatever. Illyria. But she was gone, fled into another dimension, heartsick at her losses in this one. Buffy wished that she could do the same.

“You should have told me he was back.”

“He didn’t want you to know,” said Angel.

“Didn’t he?”

She saw the shift of his eyes. Spike would have wanted to come to her. She knew it, knew Spike. But he hadn’t believed that she had meant what she had said in the Hellmouth. He would have thought that he would be intruding on that bright new life of hers, would have been completely hesitant to see her, to be rejected yet another time. And she was quite certain that Angel had played upon that insecurity, kept him from coming to Rome.

“If I had known he was back, I’d have kept him from being in that stupid, useless fight of yours. He’d be alive right now!”

“You sound as if...What was he to you, Buffy?” Angel demanded accusingly.

“My heart!”

“You don’t mean that! You can’t!”

“No, you all know what I mean better than I do, don’t you?” Her gaze went past him to Giles and Willow and Xander looking at once guilty and defiant behind him. “You all think you have the right to make my decisions for me, force me to live my life the way you want it.”

“Buffy!” Willow protested. “We don’t! We really don’t! It was just that...”

“You all knew what he meant to me. You just didn’t want to believe it.”

“Buffy...”

“Did Dawn know? Did you tell her that Spike was back?”

“No,” said Xander very low, avoiding her eyes.

“For fear that she would tell me. I’m glad. At least there’s one of you who didn’t betray me this time.”

“Buffy!” all of them exclaimed in anger and hurt.

“We did what was best!” Angel flung at her.

“For you,” she said bitterly. “Always for you. Not for me. Or for Spike. You let him die. I let him die once,” she said softly, almost to herself, “and I’ll never forgive myself for that. But now he’s died twice and this time he won’t come back.”

She stood up and looked at them all, her gaze moving coldly from one face to another.

“Right. I’m through being manipulated by you. I’m done.”

“What do you mean?” Giles asked, bewildered.

“I’m through being a Slayer.”

“You can’t! You...you’ve got a responsibility, a duty!”

“Duty? You can take that and shove it, Giles! There are hundreds of Slayers now. Go destroy their lives! I’m done with having my strings pulled. I never want to see any of you again.”

She turned on her heel and stalked out, ignoring their voices protesting and babbling behind her.

She had spent all her life fighting for them and dying for them and doing what they had told her to do, thinking the way they had told her to think. And what had that got her? Being thrown out of her own house at a critical point in the battle with the First. Spike had been the only one who had stood by her, given her the strength to go on fighting. That should have taught her something, but it hadn’t. She’d gone right back to being spineless again, fearing their opinions, trusting their judgments ahead of her own, caving under the pressure they had no right to put on her in the first place.

No more.

She was free of them now. She had finally got the guts to stand up and say no. Way too late.

Now she had to figure out what to do with herself, what to do with her life. It stretched out before her, empty and purposeless and pointless. Well, she had time—years and years of it. She’d take a sabbatical, wander around the world a bit. She had enough savings to do that for a while. Dawn would be okay. Giles had got her into an expensive boarding school in Rome where she was happily involved with new friends, especially a few male ones. Dawn had access to the bank accounts as well and could call Giles for help if necessary. Whatever the rift between Giles and Buffy, Giles would take care of Dawn, even if it was just out of guilt and what he considered to be his duty. Very big on duty was Giles, right? She’d give Dawn a call and tell her what was going on. Dawn might not like it, but she would understand.

She got back to her hotel room to find a small man in a preposterously ugly getup sitting comfortably in the one armchair, sipping at booze he had taken from her mini-fridge. Her first reaction was to attack the intruder. Then she recognized him.

“I hope you are paying for that, Whistler,” Buffy snapped.

“Hospitality is a virtue.”

“Uninvited guests don’t get any. Mind telling me what you’re doing here before I rip your head off your shoulders? And if you say it’s an apocalypse, I’m going to make a good attempt to find out how small I can fold an agent of the PTB before he pops out of this plane of existence.”

Whistler cringed, then recovered himself. “Sounds like you’re having a bad day.”

“As if you didn’t know all about it.”

“I do know. And I feel for you,” Whistler said in a heavily sympathetic tone.

Buffy gave him a scornful look. “Which means it falls in line with some plan of yours. Don’t try to snow me, demon.”

“You’ve become very untrusting.”

“Gee, I wonder why.”

They gave each other grimly amused looks.

“Okay. Down to brass tacks,” Whistler said. “You’ve gone and cut yourself loose of Giles’s shiny new Council. Understandable under the circumstances. That means you’ve got some time on your hands now, right? I wonder if you wouldn’t mind doing a little job for us.”

“Another PTB special? Whoopydo.”

“You don’t have to be like that,” sniffed Whistler.

“How do you want me to be?” Buffy snapped back. She took one of the miniature bottles of bourbon out of the fridge herself and knocked it back defiantly.

“Just listen, okay?”

Buffy shrugged indifferently and threw herself onto the bed, leaning back against the headboard. “So talk.”

He laid it all out for her—what they wanted of her and why, what had happened in that other dimension, how Willow’s spell had gone wonky and how Buffy had disapparated and now existed in limbo or in tiny particles spread over the planet, depending on whether one looked at it spiritually or physically.

“Another one of Willow’s freaking spells,” muttered Buffy scornfully. “Wonder what she did wrong. The spell worked fine in this dimension. So. No Slayer there now. Crying shame.”

“This is serious!” said Whistler reproachfully. “We can’t bring that Buffy back. We’re trying, but who knows how long that might take? It might be years. And no other Slayer can be called because she’s not really dead and the Slayer line there is linked solidly to you. Well, to Buffy Summers.”

“And so you want this Buffy Summers to cross dimensions, go back in time and go through all that crap all over again?” She laughed bitterly. “Yeah, right. Been there, done that, got kicked in the teeth for it. Not once, but several times.”

“Buffy...”

“I don’t mind a couple of months taking out demons. That would be no change in my routine. But you say it could be years. Go through the last four years again? God, no! Save the frigging world for what? The Scoobies? My dear beloved trustable good buddies? Try another Buffy in another dimension, Whistler. Me? I’m not feeling too happy with them right now or hadn’t you noticed?”

“You could change that. Change them. Events don’t have to go the way they did. How about we leave you your memories? That would give you an edge, wouldn’t it? You’d know what was going to happen and you could deal with anything before it even starts.”

“Okay, that’s a plus. But...” Buffy sighed deeply. “I’ve hit the end of my rope, Whistler. I feel like a rat on one of those stupid wheel things, running and running and getting no place. Before it was all for ‘sacred duty’ and waving the flag and because I loved my friends. I cared, Whistler. Right now, I don’t care. Don’t care about anything anymore. Scarlett, I don’t give a damn.”

“Can’t blame you,” said Whistler seriously, sounding as if he really meant it. “You’ve been screwed over, no question. But you’re forgetting one really important thing.”

“Yeah, what?”

“Spike’s there.”

Buffy’s eyes widened.

***

“We’re not late, are we?” Willow gasped, tumbling through Giles’s front door. “Buffy’s not here yet, is she?”

“No, not yet.” Angel was wearing a furrow in Giles’s rug with his pacing. “Whistler said he’d be here at eight and we’ve still got half an hour to go.”

Tara came in more calmly behind Willow and gave a shy smile to everyone. Xander and Anya moved over to make room for her on the couch. Willow touched down for a moment on the arm of the couch, then flew up again, too nervous to sit still. A knock on the door heralded Riley. He and Angel gave each other glowering glances, then pointedly pretended that the other didn’t exist.

“Anyone want a drink?” Giles asked, just as the door opened again and Spike strolled in.

“Wouldn’t mind one if you’re offering, Watcher,” he grinned and Giles sighed.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Riley snarled, his nerves already exacerbated by Angel’s presence. For Hostile 17 to be shoving his nose in here at this delicate moment irritated him unbearably. Riley never could understand why Buffy and the Scoobies put up with him. Spike was a vampire after all, even if he was chipped. He belonged back in the lab or better yet staked.

“That’s what I’d like to know,” muttered Xander and Riley gave him an approving look. Xander at least had the right idea about Spike. The others didn’t like Spike, but for some reason they tolerated him, bewilderingly brushing aside the arrogance and the attitude and the snide remarks that drove Riley up the wall.

“Tou-chy,” smirked Spike, giving him a scornful glance. “Didn’t want to miss the show.”

“It’s not a goddammed show!” yelled Riley. “It’s a matter of life or death! It’s...it’s Buffy!”

“Yeah, that’s what I came to see. That’s what you lot all want, innit? A Buffy. And that’s a giggle. Any Buffy would do, right? Couldn’t miss that.”

“Of course we’d like to have our Buffy,” Giles protested. “But circumstances prevent that. You seem to be implying that another Buffy is just a cheap copy. And that’s untrue!”

“That’s not what I’m implying, Watcher. I’m saying another Buffy might be different. And that’s what’s gonna be fun! Seeing the difference and watching how you sods take that.”

“But it’s Buffy!” protested Willow. “How could she be different?”

“Things that happen to you change you, right, Red? The only way she’d be exactly the same is if Whistler brought her back from exactly the same moment in that other dimension. I’m betting he won’t be able to do that. Gonna be real interesting,” he grinned.

“She’s not a fucking lab experiment!” Riley roared.

“If I can be, she can be,” Spike sneered. “Gonna get a charge out of her being the lab rat this time.”

“Don’t you talk about her like that!”

“You’re a lab experiment too, aren’t you, tin soldier? It’ll finally give you something in common with her. Haven’t got much else.”

Riley lost his temper entirely, grabbed him by his duster and flung him against a wall. Spike ducked the first punch Riley threw at him, then was held still by Riley’s hand around his throat.

“Oh, brave,” he said with utter contempt as Riley’s fist drew back. “Can’t hit you back. That gives you balls, doesn’t it? If I weren’t chipped, you’d be peeing your pants right now. Sodding coward. You and Harris both.”

“You...!” Riley’s fist drove forward.

And was stopped by Angel’s grip.

“He’s right,” said Angel softly. He and Spike exchanged hostile but understanding glances. “He can’t fight back. If he could, you’d have been dead the minute you laid a hand on him. I don’t like him any more than you do, Finn. But anyone who hits a man who’s under that kind of handicap is a bully and a thug.”

“He’s not a man! He’s a vamp!” For Riley, that allowed everything.

“So am I. And I’m not chipped.” And would love an excuse to take apart the man presently in Buffy’s life, Angel didn’t say.

He didn’t have to. It was perfectly obvious to everyone in the room.

“Stop it, all three of you!” Giles said forcefully. “This is neither the time or the place. May I remind you that this is my home and you’re guests in it? Riley, Angel, back off. Spike, keep that mouth of yours shut.”

Riley let Spike go and flung away sulkily. Angel and Spike gave each other hard, challenging stares. Spike might not be able to hit Riley, but there was nothing keeping him from fighting Angel and, for reasons going back over a hundred and twenty years, they both would have loved to get it on. But, as Giles had said, they were guests under his roof, so they turned stiffly away from each other, Spike going to sit on the stairs and Angel back to pacing.

“Testosterone levels high right now?” remarked Whistler, suddenly very present in the middle of the living room. “You gents are always so amusing.”

“Pick your moments, don’t you?” snapped Spike as everyone jumped.

“I wish you’d give some warning before you decide to pop in like that,” Giles sighed. He had very nearly dropped his drink and Xander had spilled the popcorn he was munching.

Whistler giggled. “So. All of you ready for the big reveal? All set to go through with this?”

Giles frowned at him. “Shouldn’t we be? This was all your idea, Whistler.”

Spike snickered from where he was sitting on the stairs, watching them all with bright-eyed interest as if he were watching a scene from some play.

“Tell them the catch, mate. There’s always a catch.”

Whistler shifted uncomfortably under that sardonic blue gaze and the doubtful looks the others were giving him.

“Well, you’ve got to be prepared, see?”

“Prepared for what?” Giles demanded. “She is Buffy, isn’t she?”

“Oh, yeah, yeah. She’s Buffy Summers all right. Only she’s the Buffy of four years in the future. The others closer to this time frame, well, they’re too occupied with the problems in their own dimensions to be able to leave. This one’s the only one who had time to spare.”

“She’s four years older than our Buffy?”

“Big deal, right? Four years, what’s that? Just makes her a little more savvy, a little more experienced. That’s what you need, isn’t that so? Someone who knows how to handle things?”

“I guess so, but...”

“You’re buying a pig in a poke here,” Spike murmured. “Better be sure. Can’t send her back if you don’t like her. Policy is no returns, isn’t it, Whistler, old sod?”

“Why shouldn’t we like her?” Willow exclaimed. “It’s Buffy!”

“Yeah,” snapped Xander. “Big surprise a demon doesn’t want a Slayer around. Stay out of it, Spike! You shouldn’t even be here. Riley had that right. You weren’t asked and you’re not welcome. So shut the fuck up!”

Spike held up his hands, grinning.

“He’s right though,” Whistler said, suddenly serious. “Once you bring her, you can’t send her back unless the PTB manages to recover your own Buffy. So be absolutely sure, people.”

“We’re not sure,” said Giles. “How can we be sure? But we need her. So, yes, Whistler. Bring her through.”

“It’s a go then. Right.” Whistler snapped his fingers.

In the center of the room, something began to coalesce. A slender form in dark clothes, a blur of long golden hair...

“Buffy!” breathed Willow.

The form took complete shape. It was Buffy. Recognizably the same person. Only she was a woman rather than a girl, sleeker, leaner, honed like a knife blade to fighting fit, dressed in black designer jeans and tank top, her face cool and calm and reserved. Four years had made a difference.

They would have surged forward to greet her, but something in her face held them back—the aloof, assessing way she was looking them over.

“Wow,” she said, echoing what they were feeling. “Four years sure changed things. You’re all so much younger! Still innocent. I lost my innocence a long while ago.”

She stepped forward, smiling a little twistedly. They all stood frozen, staring at her in bewilderment.

“Giles,” she said, looking at him intently. “Yes. I believe we might get along at this point in time.”

“Well, um, yes, of course we will,” stuttered Giles, taken aback. “Why shouldn’t we?”

“Oh. Things change, you know.” She gave him a tight smile. “You’ll have to adapt to this me. Because I’m different from your Buffy and I’m so not going to adapt. Not this time.”

They all blinked at the calm, sure voice with its underlying edge of challenge.

“Willow,” she nodded coolly. “Xander. Tara!”

And suddenly the missing warmth was there. Tara found herself caught up in a crushing hug.

“I’ve missed you, Tara!”

“W-we’ve missed you too, Buffy,” Tara stammered, her eyes wet.

“And Anya!”

Anya’s jaw dropped at being hugged herself. Buffy had never been that demonstrative to her before.

“Gosh, it’s good to see the two of you!” Buffy exclaimed.

“We’re not around in your dimension?” Anya remarked shrewdly.

There was a tiny hesitation, then Buffy shrugged. “Well, you know how it is. People drift apart.” Her gaze went past them and widened. “Angel. What are you doing back in Sunnydale?”

He stepped forward, smiling, and bent to kiss her, but she turned her head slightly so that his lips only brushed her cheek. He frowned a little.

“Giles called me in when you...when our Buffy vanished. I talked to the PTB. That’s how Whistler ended up looking for you.”

“Oh, I see. Interfering again. Makes sense.”

His brows snapped together at the careless words, but she was already turning.

“And Riley!” she exclaimed with amusement as Riley stepped eagerly forward. “Good grief! I’d forgotten that you were still underfoot right now!”

Riley’s face was a study. “I don’t understand...”

“You will.” She was looking around again, searching for someone. “Ah!”

Smiling widely, she moved towards Spike watching the show from the stairs. His brows rose in surprise, then he stood up warily as she came towards him, ready to jump in any direction if she tried to punch him out.

She stopped in front of him and grinned up at him.

“Hello, lover,” she said and pulled his head down and kissed him hard.


TBC

Chapter 2


Buffy had known he was there from the moment Whistler had pulled her into this dimension. How not? She could feel that unique tingle of vamp presence that was his signature, feel that blue gaze watching her. Oh, there was a difference in that gaze right now. It wasn’t that intense look full of warmth and love and devotion that she had always seen, but deliberately chosen to ignore and reject. No, this look was cool and mocking and amused as he watched her.

Even knowing that they were enemies right now made no difference to her. After more than a year of mourning him, she desperately needed to touch him, couldn’t have stopped herself from putting her arms around him even if she had tried.

She felt the jolt of shock and amazement go through him as she kissed him. Then his mouth opened unthinkingly to hers. And there it was. Their tongues meeting, the taste of him, the scent of him, that cool strong body vibrant against her. The totality of him, solid and alive, real under her hands, after all those long months of loss.

Oh, it wasn’t the same. This Spike didn’t love her. She knew that. But there had always been that heat between them, that unacknowledged throb of sexual awareness, right from the beginning. Offered sex, he would take it. Spike was a sensualist. And she wanted him, wanted his body against her, on her, in her, would take anything that she could get.

Their lips parted and she saw the astonishment in his face, saw also the involuntary arousal in his startled eyes. She turned him on, always had, her own Spike had told her once. She ran her hand lightly down his torso, hidden from the others, across his chest, over his stomach, laid her palm deliberately upon his navel, the heel of her hand pressing just above the low slung belt of his jeans. His eyes widened and he looked down in surprise. Then she saw the wicked laughter flare in his eyes, the flickering glance of hilarious amusement he cast the others. He knew what she was offering and was perfectly ready to accept.

His hands closed on her upper arms, drawing her to him. Their lips met again, mouths twisting together, passion flaring, tongues sliding and thrusting, an exploration for him, a rediscovery of delight for her.

There was a lot of shouting and yelling going on behind her. They broke apart reluctantly and Buffy turned to look at all the appalled and furious faces. She was determined to begin as she meant to go on here; that’s why she was being so upfront about it. No secrets, no hiding in shadows and back alleys this time, everything out in the open. Willow, Tara and Anya were looking stunned, Giles horrified, Xander enraged. Angel and Riley were predictably looking murderous.

“Hey, chill, everybody,” she said lightly. “Spike and I. We’re lovers in the other dimension.”

“No!” howled Xander. “You can’t be!”

“Well, we are. Suck it up and deal, guys.”

“No! We won’t let you!”

“Are you under some delusion that you can tell me what to do, Xander? The other Buffy might have taken that shit. I won’t.”

“Not with him!” snarled Angel dangerously, jerking towards Spike. Spike stepped immediately forward to meet him, his eyes lighting up.

“Come on, wanker,” he said exultantly. “You I can fight. Been waiting a long time for this.”

“Knock it off, you two!” Buffy said sharply.

“Buffy!” Angel roared.

“Surely you can let guests amuse themselves in their own little way, pet,” said Spike silkily.

“No. You’re not going to kill each other. I’ve got other plans for you, Spike,” she purred.

He laughed involuntarily. Faces went red either in embarrassment or in fury around the room.

“Okay, that’s it,” said Angel and moved purposefully towards Spike.

“Touch Spike and I stake you, Angel,” said Buffy flatly.

Angel jerked to a stop and stared at her disbelievingly. “You wouldn’t!”

“Try me. I’d do it in a heartbeat. You let him die in the other dimension, Angel. The way I feel about you right now, I’d be happy for any excuse.”

“If he won’t do it, I will,” yelled Riley and charged at Spike, the stake he had snatched from Giles’s weapons chest raised high above his head.

Spike spun smoothly to one side. Before Riley could recover and change direction, Buffy caught him by the throat. She lifted him with one hand and flung him with all her strength across the room. He struck the wall with a thud and fell heavily.

“Oh, that felt really satisfying,” Buffy said. “Vamp hos and ultimatums and Sam turning up like that just so you can rub my face in the ‘happy couple’ thing. Not liking you much either, Riley. The normal guy. Yeah, right.” She gave Angel a scornful glance. “You and your normal. Found out what that’s worth.”

“What?” said Riley blankly from the floor. “What?”

“Doesn’t matter what drugs you take, Riley. I can whup your ass anytime. And, if you ever do anything to Spike, I will. I’ll break you in half. That’s a promise.”

Everybody was staring at her in amazement and incredulity. Even Spike was. She grinned at all of them.

“You...” Words seemed to be beyond Giles. He gulped, then recovered himself with an effort. “Buffy, why are you acting this way? No one means you any harm here. You’re acting as if we’re your enemies and we’re not. We’re your friends!”

“Friends respect each other, Giles. And you haven’t respected me. You go around telling me what to do, using emotional blackmail and guilt trips and outright force sometimes by spells and things to make me do what you want. You never care what I might want. You might not mean any harm, Giles, but you cause harm. I’m through with that. Do you think I don’t remember what it was like four years ago when I was the equivalent of your Buffy? The kind of pressure you used to put on me? Well, this Buffy is mad as hell and not gonna take it anymore. This Buffy is four years older and an adult. This Buffy is her own woman.”

“This Buffy...” Giles swung around. “Whistler!”

But Whistler was gone, having taken the opportunity to sneak out when the fracas started.

Buffy laughed. “New regime, Giles. This Buffy is the only one you’ve got now. Oh, the PTB will be working on bringing your Buffy back. But it’ll be a while, the way I understand it. The only one you’ve got right now is me. And I’m not gonna take any shit from anyone. Capisce?”

She glanced at Spike and tilted her head towards the front door. He nodded and slid quietly out. In the state of shock that everyone was under, nobody noticed him go.

“Right. Giles, does my Mom know what’s happened to this dimension’s Buffy?”

Giles shook his head dumbly.

“Well, I want to see her. So you’re going to have to come along and explain things to her. Give me five minutes, then we’ll go over to Revello Drive. Talk amongst yourselves till then, people.” She laughed. “I’m sure you’ve got a lot to talk about.”

Spike was waiting for her in the little courtyard outside Giles’s front door, stalking around in that leashed, leopard prowl, restless as usual. She smiled with pleasure, watching him. After over a year thinking that he was gone forever, just the sight of him, white hair glinting in the moonlight, black duster flapping, lean body fluid and supple in the familiar black jeans and T-shirt and Docs, was all that she needed to be perfectly happy. Just seeing him alive.

He turned to look at her and her gaze lingered on the planes of his face, the cut-glass cheekbones and the strong jaw and the beautiful mouth, the vivid blue eyes narrowed now in amusement and speculation.

“So. Lovers, are we?”

She laughed. “Oh, yeah.”

“Here too?”

“If you’re interested.”

“Oh, I’m interested.” His gaze went hot, running down her from brow to toe, lingering on her lips and breasts and thighs on the way, his glance like a touch, so that the color came up into her face. It was a possessive look, knowing that he could have her if he wanted, intrigued and curious. “That’ll be something new. Fucking a Slayer.”

She grinned. “Think you’ll like it even better than killing one. At least, that’s what you said the last time around.”

“Sounds like something I’d say. And it seems you liked fucking a vamp.”

“Let me think. Vamp stamina and refractory period. Yeah, I liked it.”

They both laughed.

“Not ‘fucking’ though, Spike,” she said. “Making love.”

His gaze went very still.

“We’re enemies, Slayer,” he said harshly.

“Only if you want to be.”

She could see him thinking back over the last few years, the times they had tried with all their might to kill each other, the threats they had flung back and forth, the blows they had exchanged. They weren’t even friends in this dimension; they only tolerated each other out of grim necessity, the chip keeping her from staking him and...

“What kept you from killing this dimension’s Buffy, Spike?” she asked.

His brows shot up. “Little piece of metal and plastic in my head, Slayer, remember?”

“Doesn’t keep you from hiring demons to poison us or to take us out, does it?”

His eyes widened, then narrowed and shifted, avoiding hers. “Is that why you called me out here, Slayer? To give me ideas on how to kill you?”

“I called you out here to warn you that you’d better change your crypt.” She shrugged as his scarred eyebrow rose questioningly. “Riley holds grudges. And he’ll get his buddies on board, like Graham for instance. The Initiative is being pulled out in stages and some of their soldiers are still around. You’re not safe till they’re all gone.”

“Got a point. There’s a Krasevic I know. Might have a place I could doss down in for a while.”

“Find a place we might both like.”

His eyes flared with laughter and heat. “Yeah?”

“Yeah. Tell him we’ll trade immunity for it.”

Krasevics were peaceful demons. There was a whole community of non-harmful demons in Sunnydale that Buffy had always carefully ignored since they were no threat to the populace. A deal like that would in no way conflict with her Slayer duties.

“Better than cash for him,” Spike nodded. “I think he’ll go for that.”

“Put it in my name. That way you’ll sleep safe.”

“Angel, yeah. So you’re not going to be inviting him in. What’s driven a wedge between you and your one true love, pet?”

“Star crossed lovers, all Romeo and Juliet, yeah, yeah. Teenage love’s nice and simple, isn’t it? Well, I grew up. Adult love’s messy and complicated and real. It’s all our different pieces meshing together like gears. Like that yin yang symbol, half shadow, half light, interlocking.”

He was staring at her.

“Don’ know what you think is going on here, pet, but...”

“Hey, not looking for anything but a good fuck, okay? How’s that sound to you?”

He laughed helplessly. “Sounds pretty good.”

“I’ll be at Revello Drive. Come and tell me when you’ve got things set up.”

In a flash of vampire speed, he had a hand around her throat, pushing her back against the wall of Giles’s flat, the length of his body and his full weight upon her all the way from chest to knee. She shuddered and arched to him involuntarily, loving the feel of him against her, vibrant and alive; watched his eyes go black and burning as their pupils dilated and his irises turned to thin rings of intense, blazing blue.

“Tomorrow,” he said. It was a challenge. He still didn’t believe she’d go through with it.

“Fine.”

He kissed her hard, his mouth deliberately painful and demanding. Testing her. She kissed him back as fiercely. They tore their mouths away, both gasping because the passion had flared so abruptly, so imperatively. He drew a harsh breath.

“Right then.”

And let her go and vanished into the shadows.

She looked after him, smiling. He’d be back. He wouldn’t be able to pass up the challenge. Oh, she knew him, knew what was going through his head right now. It wasn’t love. It was lust. It was sexual curiosity and arousal. It was the irresistible temptation to one-up the Scoobies, Giles, Riley, Angel, freak them all right out. The chance to cause as much trouble as he possibly could. Spike would never be able to resist that. All she had to do was keep him intrigued and titillated. He’d come back for more.

That was all she wanted right now. To have him. Just that. On his terms this time. Not putting him through hoops, making impossible demands, belittling and degrading him. No egocentric, selfcentered selfishness this time. Not what she wanted. What he wanted. Whatever he wanted.

Love? She’d thrown away her rights to that. Lust was enough.

She turned and went back into the flat. The bunch of them were all shouting at each other inside. A dead silence fell as she walked in the door. She grinned.

“Giles? Ready to go?”

“Er, yes.” He reached for his jacket, the whites of his eyes showing as he glanced uneasily sideways at her, rather like a panicked horse.

“Buffy...” Riley stumbled towards her. It looked as if he had twisted his ankle when he had fallen after she threw him into the wall.

Really, the man was thick. Angel had more sense, was standing silent, sizing her up.

“Don’t have anything to say to you, Riley. You’re so yesterday for me. You’re nearly four years ago. I’m done with men who run out on me because they can’t stand the heat.” She flicked a scornful glance towards Angel as well. “Kinda prefer the ones who stick it out.”

“Spike?”

“He was always there.” She could see Xander opening his mouth to make one of the nasty cracks he specialized in, flung up her hand to stop him. “I’m not listening to anything any one of you has to say about Spike. In my dimension, he sacrificed himself not once, but twice for all of us. Died and came back and died again to save the world and your sorry asses. So shut the hell up.”

Having dropped that bombshell, she turned on her heel and stalked out. She caught a glimpse of their thunderstruck faces when she glanced over her shoulder at Giles meekly following her and had to fight back a laugh.

“Buffy,” Giles mumbled as they got into his little car, “your attitude is really...”

“In your face? Yeah. I’ve had it with the bunch of you nagging at me all the time. I’m not putting up with it this time around. The thing you’re all forgetting is that I’ve got four years on you. I know what’s going to happen and I know what every one of you does or is capable of doing. Not going to let the bad things happen. Not the apocalypses and not the bunch of you acting like shits.”

There was silence for a while as Giles digested this.

“Did Spike really...?”

Buffy smiled twistedly. “He really did.”

“Why? Why would a kil...er, a vampire do such a thing?”

“The first time he did it for me. The second time? For friendship and loyalty. If you think about it, you may have seen already that he is capable of that. You’ve just dismissed it.” She turned her head to look at him as he frowned over the steering wheel at the road. “You once said that his being chipped might be for a higher purpose.”

“I remember,” Giles said dryly. “He didn’t agree. He was in fact quite insulting about it.”

“Bad timing on your part, Giles. You mentioned it too early. He was still sore about having been chipped at that point.”

“Are you saying that he’s on the path to redemption like Angel?” Giles gave her a disbelieving look. “But Angel has a soul.”

Buffy didn’t say anything for a moment. She didn’t want to bring that soul thing up. Spike didn’t need it and she didn’t want anyone harassing him to get it.

“He’s changing, Giles. Maybe if you people stopped slapping him down and stepping on him, you’d see that. You’re supposed to be good people. You should be helping him come out into the light, instead of shoving him back down into the dark. He’s got a hard row to hoe and so far he’s been doing it all by himself. Without even Angel’s precious soul or friends. Maybe if you all stopped kicking him in the teeth and tried even a tiny little bit of support instead, things might go better.”

Giles didn’t say anything for a long time.

“Our Buffy...” he began at last and Buffy let out a little breath of exasperation.

“She hasn’t learned yet. The only good demon’s a dead demon, right? The Council might want all the Slayers and Watchers to believe that. But you’re an intelligent man, Giles. Do you really think that things are that black and white?” She sighed deeply. “It took me four long and painful years to learn that the world is made up of grays. I’m not going to ignore that knowledge now. And if your Buffy ever comes back, I’d suggest you teach her that, Giles. It’ll save her a lot of grief.”

Giles was looking extremely thoughtful. Buffy hoped she had got through to him. If not, she’d just keep hammering the point home. The Scoobies needed a wake up call. Too many things had gone wrong, too many losses had happened, because they all had these blinders over their eyes.

Buffy had to ring the doorbell at Revello Drive. She no longer had her key. It had gone a year ago when the house and Sunnydale had both disappeared into a crater in her dimension. Joyce opened the door and looked at them both in surprise.

“Goodness, Buffy! I didn’t think it was you! Did you lose your key again?”

“Yes.” Buffy grabbed Joyce tight, trying not to cry. Her Mom had died in the other dimension. To have her back again was such a miracle!

“Why, honey, what’s wrong?” Joyce could feel the wetness against her cheek and Buffy’s body shaking as she held Joyce painfully tight. “What’s the matter?”

“Nothing.” Buffy drew back, wiping at her eyes. “Everything’s right.”

“Something’s happened. You look...” Joyce took Buffy’s face in her hands. Buffy looked strangely older, but it wasn’t that which worried Joyce. There was a shadow in her eyes that hadn’t been there the last time Joyce had seen her, just a week ago. Joyce couldn’t understand it.

“Come and sit down, Mom. There’s something we have to tell you.” But when Joyce would have drawn her down beside her on the couch, Buffy moved guiltily away to the far end. “Giles, you’d better explain.”

Giles did so.

“Buffy died and you didn’t tell me!” Joyce exclaimed. “Rupert, how could you?”

“We thought we could get her back and you’d never have to know,” Giles said shamefacedly.

“You could still get your Buffy back,” Buffy said. “The PTB are working on that. It might take a while, but they will succeed. I’m sure of it.”

“I’m glad. I do want her back. But you’re my Buffy too, dear.” She reached out and drew Buffy to her. “It doesn’t matter that you’re from another dimension. You’re still my daughter.”

“Oh, Mom!” They hugged each other tightly.

“I’ll just say goodnight then,” muttered Giles. He was uncomfortable with all the emotion and he needed time to process everything that was going on.

“Will you be staying here or returning to your room at the dorm?” Joyce asked as Buffy came back from showing him out.

“I’ll stay here tonight.” Buffy looked nostalgically around. In her dimension, the whole house was gone and they had been able to salvage so few mementos in their rush to leave before Sunnydale collapsed. “But I’ll be getting my own place. This me is twenty-four years old and sort of used to living on my own.”

“Twenty-four!” Joyce shook her head, trying to get used to the thought.

“Mom, listen.” Buffy sat down beside Joyce and caught her hand. “I want you to do me a favor. I want you to call your doctor tomorrow and arrange to have a CAT scan done.”

Joyce looked startled, then thoughtful. “That’s why you started to cry when you saw me.”

“You got very, very sick.” Buffy didn’t want to say that Joyce had died. That was too much of a shock to lay on anyone. “Maybe they can prevent that if they catch it earlier.”

“A tumor. That’s what CAT scans show and I have been getting headaches. Is that what it is?”

“Mm. But you survive it.” Joyce had survived the operation, but she hadn’t survived the aneurysm that followed it. Buffy didn’t know what could be done about that, but if the operation happened earlier and the doctors were warned to watch for it, maybe it could be prevented.

They spent most of the night talking. Buffy just wanted to be with her Mom and Joyce was curious about what had brought about the changes she saw in Buffy. Buffy was honest with her, not about the actual events since those might be affected if anyone knew about them, but about the emotional states she had gone through and was in right now. It was good to talk to someone with a different perspective than the Scoobies, someone who saw Buffy the person rather than Buffy the Slayer and was on her side. Giles would say it was because Joyce was ignorant about demon affairs, but it seemed to Buffy that Joyce was simply unprejudiced and kindhearted.

“It’s hard not to hold their actions against Giles and Willow and Xander,” she said ruefully to Joyce now. “I keep telling myself that they haven’t done any of those things yet, but I can’t help remembering them and being all chip on the shoulder about it.”

“Well, I have noticed the way they push you around, dear, and I do agree that you should stand up for yourself. But it might be better not to be quite so harsh,” Joyce finished gently and Buffy laughed.

“Yeah, I’ll try not to.”

“So. Spike,” said Joyce thoughtfully and Buffy colored a little. Too much about Spike had slipped out while Buffy was trying to explain other things.

“You do like him, don’t you, Mom?”

“Well, I would have preferred someone who could give me grandchildren, but, yes, I do like him. He’s a very nice boy. He’s never been anything but sweet and polite every time I’ve met him. Do you love him, Buffy?”

“Yes,” said Buffy simply.

“He...he doesn’t seem to...” Joyce searched for the right words. “In this dimension...”

“I know. He doesn’t love me. It doesn’t matter. I’m just glad that he’s alive. And I’m going to find a way to keep him alive. Not going to have him burn up again, whatever it takes. But that’s years away, thank God. I’ll have time to figure things out.”

“Good.” Joyce considered her, a little amazed at how confident and mature Buffy seemed to be now. “You have grown up, haven’t you?”

Buffy laughed involuntarily. “Maybe. I wouldn’t guarantee it.”

Joyce smiled too. “I guess we’ll find out.”

Buffy slept in the next day, cutting whatever classes she was supposed to take at UC Sunnydale. It was going to be some time before she could get back into the swing of things, like going to college again or getting used to the life that had been hers four years ago. She didn’t hear from Giles or the Scoobies or Angel either. They too were busy trying to adjust, she supposed, and even Riley seemed to have gotten the message.

She did patrol that evening, enjoying falling back into the old routine. Previously, she had always resented being tied to Sunnydale and the Hellmouth. Now she had gone all over the world in her quest for the new Slayers activated by Willow’s spell and she hadn’t enjoyed it one bit. She had been so bitter and lonely that all those fascinating places had ended up just being empty and meaningless to her. She had missed Sunnydale and was glad that it was back, was even glad that the Hellmouth still existed, giving purpose to her life.

Four years had honed her fighting skills. Giles would probably be amazed at how much better she had become at the game. She took out a couple of vamps with ease. A Chiriwan demon in Tranquility cemetery gave her more difficulty since she hadn’t brought a sword with her, but she ripped one of the wrought iron rails from Tranquility’s fence loose, ducked the Chiriwan’s poisonous claws and hammered the rail straight through its heart, then nodded with satisfaction as it poofed into dust. Chiriwans were somehow related to vamps and that saved her the cleanup.

“You’ve been practicing,” said Spike dryly behind her.

She turned and smiled at him. “Four years make a difference.”

“You’re at a whole new level. Pity the chip stops me from taking you on. Like to see how we’d match up now.”

“Had a couple of good fights in the past, haven’t we? Would you try to kill me now if you could, Spike?”

He tilted a brow at her sardonically. “Might.”

“Come on then. Let’s spar.”

“No, thanks, pet. Not in the mood for a blinding headache right now.”

“Oh!” She laughed a little. “You won’t get one. You can hit me now, Spike. I died three years ago and Willow resurrected me not quite the way I was. Enough of a difference that your chip won’t go off if you attacked me.”

“You died?”

“Hellgod called Glory opened up a rift I had to die to close. Have to figure out a way to keep her from doing that in this dimension. Willow might not be able to bring me back this time.”

“Red’s capable of that kind of mojo?”

“Oh, yeah. She gets freaking dangerous.”

“Better watch my step around her,” he muttered.

His hand flashed out. The heel of his hand slammed against her shoulder, hard enough to shove her back a step, but not hard enough to set the chip off too painfully should it happen to activate.

“Well, how about that?” he said, a nasty grin dawning when the chip didn’t fire. “Killable again, are you, Slayer?”

“You can try.”

“Then I will.”

His fist slashed out, a strike straight forward at her throat that would have crushed her larynx if it had connected. She blocked it swiftly with her forearm. An audible thud sounded. He had struck hard, not pulling the blow. She struck back, full strength, knocking him backwards. Then they were in a whirl of motion, punching and kicking with blinding speed.

She wondered for a horrible moment whether he really was trying to kill her. She couldn’t kill him. There was no way in hell she was ever going to dust him. She’d let him kill her first. All she could try for was a standoff and, against an opponent as superbly skilled as he was, that put her at a terrible disadvantage.

Then she saw the wicked laughter and enjoyment in his eyes. It was the dance after all, that dance of speed and balance and ferocity, that dance of death that somehow never ever got to the killing point. They were both grinning now as they fought, the blows and blocks speeding up until she was not striking at where he was, but at where he would be by the time her foot or fist reached him.

She didn’t know who made the mistake. But suddenly they were both staggering sideways against the wall of a crypt, clutching at each other for balance. She fell back against the crypt and he fell on her, his full weight upon her. They were both laughing delightedly, ribcages and stomachs heaving against each other as they fought for breath. Fighting always made them both horny. She could feel him aroused and hard against her, feel herself all buttery and throbbing.

He kissed her abruptly, mouth demanding. She kissed him back as greedily, her hands on his hips pulling him fiercely to her. Their mouths twisted together, devouring each other; their bodies rubbed and strained against each other, passion flaring.

They tore their mouths apart at last, gasping against each other’s faces.

“Still in the mood, huh?” he muttered. The astonishment hadn’t worn off for him.

“Always.” Her thumbs circled in the hollows of his pelvis, pressing provocatively through the denim of his jeans.

She heard him catch his breath.

“That Krasevic demon?” he muttered “He came up with a place. Safe house he was renting out to other demons. Wanna go see if you like it?”

She knew what he was really suggesting.

“Good idea,” she agreed, smiling. “So he did go for it.”

“Your immunity for him and his family, my protection if he needs it? Oh, yeah, he went for it. Ever seen a lizard grin?” Krasevics were reptilian. “Some sight that was. So wide he nearly split his head in two. Place is over on the east side where those derelict factories are. C’mon.”

That was a rundown area, but the location was still not that far away from her beat through the cemeteries. Convenient.

“Any way to keep Angel from knowing where you are?” Buffy asked and he laughed.

“Yeah, Angel’s not gonna be too pleased about us getting chummy. Place is in your name, so he can’t get in even if he knows.”

“He might tell Xander or Riley where you are and get them to sneak in and dust you.”

“Thought of that myself. Talked to the Krasevic about it. He referred me to this demongirl. She’s into the witchy stuff, like Red. She laid on this spell will keep anyone from knowing where I live.”

“Bright idea. Be careful getting your stuff over.”

“Moved whatever I value already. Captain Cardboard hasn’t had time to get his head together. Brain moves rather slow in that asshole. He and his buddies can trash what’s left if they like.”

“Good.”

On a teasing impulse, she slid her hand into his as they walked along. She felt him stiffen a little beside her. Glancing sideways, she saw his brows lift and his lips twist into a sardonic smile. Then his cool fingers interlinked with hers. The whole thing was a joke to him, a crazy hilarious jest that he was enjoying.

He looked down at her suddenly. “Stopped in at Revello Drive earlier. Your Mum said to tell you she’d made that appointment for a CAT scan.”

“Oh, that’s good to hear!” Buffy said with relief.

Spike frowned. “Something wrong with your Mum, pet?”

“She’s got a brain tumor. In the other dimension, she died. I want to stop it from happening here.”

“They couldn’t fix it in your dimension?”

“They got the tumor out okay. But just when we thought everything was fine, she had an aneurysm and died. I was hoping if she had the operation earlier and the doctors were warned, they might keep it from bursting or even from forming in the first place.”

“I can keep an eye on her once she gets out of hospital. Vamp here. Isn’t much I’m not able to sense about blood. Can tell you if it starts to form and you can tell the doctors.”

“Will you do that? Spike, thank you!”

He looked completely embarrassed.

“She’s a lady, your Mum,” he muttered. “Been nice to me. Don’t worry, pet. She’s not gonna die this time around.”

Buffy smiled at him. He had cared for Joyce in the other dimension and it looked like he did here too.

They were in the old industrial district now, moving through the deserted streets.

“Here,” said Spike, turning into what looked like a dilapidated warehouse. A door sagging on crooked hinges opened on cracked but firm cement stairs which led down to a solid metal door. Spike unlocked that, reached in to switch on the lights, then stepped back to let her enter.

Buffy walked in and smiled. “Sweet.”

“You’re used to classy digs, aren’t you, Slayer?” Spike said dryly. “Best Frihas had and he makes a business of it. But he thought the deal was worth it.”

Except for the lack of windows, the place could have passed for a suite in a luxury hotel. Its space matched the length and width of the warehouse above and the rooms—living room, dining area, small but efficient kitchen, large bedroom with a kingsized bed, luxurious bathroom—were all open and airy and bright with track lighting, the furniture expensive and looking very comfortable.

“The bed was the selling point,” said Spike, leaning a shoulder against the archway leading to the bedroom.

Buffy laughed involuntarily, looking at the huge bed. “Was it now?”

“Care to try it out?”

“Why not?”

He tilted a brow at her, then shrugged off his duster, heel-and-toed out of his boots and turned to strip the coverlet off the bed. No working up to it, no mood music or champagne or whatever. Right down to business. It was a direct statement. Not romance, but sex. A challenge thrown at her.

She grinned, treading off her sneakers and sliding out of her jeans. He had no idea what he was dealing with. When he turned from dropping the coverlet over a chair, she was right there in front of him, yanking his T-shirt out of his jeans and over his head.

“I do like that sixpack,” she purred, running her hands over him. He was always a pleasure to look at and to touch, all that hard, supple muscle and strong, clean bone. “So pretty.”

That drew the expected offended reaction. “Not pretty,” he growled.

“Are so.” She tongued his nipple, pushing the soft nub inward and feeling it harden under the friction. “And so lickable.”

“Christ, Slayer!” He was grinning involuntarily. “Are you under the impression you need to seduce me?”

“Nah. I know you’re always up for it. I just like the way you feel.”

He laughed helplessly. “Like the way you feel too.”

His hands tangled in her hair, pulling her head back. They kissed deeply, mouths twisting together, tongues sliding and thrusting, eating each other alive.

“God, I’ve missed this,” she muttered. “Missed you.”

She was drunk on him, the feel of his skin and the taste of him and the scent of him, couldn’t get enough of the reality of him in her arms. It had been so long. So long since those three crazy months when they had been lovers. Those months she hadn’t valued. In which she had only fucked him, hit him, used him, seeking sensation and nothing else. Blindly self-involved and cruel and uncaring.

Now she knew what he had been feeling, knew how painful it must have been for him knowing that it was only sex to her, knowing that she didn’t love him, yet still wanting it so desperately and unable to give up a moment of it, no matter how much grief it brought him. Now it was her turn to experience that. This was only sex to this Spike, only sensation and curiosity.

And yet it still wasn’t as bad for her as it had been for him. This Spike might not love her, but this Spike had no reason to cut her up the way she had him, flaying him with her contempt, not hiding her shame at being with him, heedless of how wretched it must have made him feel.

She had hurt him so much! But not this time. Not this time. She kissed him with desperate hunger, but her hands clung and caressed, tenderly stroking his face, his body, wordlessly loving him. She wanted to give him pleasure. Her own body was thrilling to the feel of him, but that was not as important to her this time as the pleasure she wanted to give him.

They lost their balance and fell on the bed.. His weight came on her. His fingers twined in her hair. He looked down at her, a tiny frown between his brows, his eyes puzzled. Of course he was wary and bewildered. She couldn’t help her reactions, couldn’t help that this wasn’t the casual encounter for her that it was for him.

“Take it for whatever you want it to be,” she said fiercely to those mistrustful eyes. “Not asking anything of you, hear me? Just want you to enjoy this.”

“Oh, I’m enjoying it, Slayer,” he said on a shuddering breath, half laughter, half heat.

They were both panting for breath, even he, and he didn’t need to breathe. She smiled in triumph, knowing that passion was what brought that reflex out in him. She had him now. She knew him through and through, knew all his buttons. Her hands raked over him; she sucked at his throat, bit his neck, that trigger point for a vamp, felt his whole body jolt and jerk against her.

“God, who’d have thought?” he gasped.

“Who’d have thought what?”

“Stick-up-the-ass Summers,” he muttered. “The sodding ice maiden. Who’d have thought you’d be such a bloody animal in bed!”

“Are you complaining?”

“Think I’m mental?”

They were yanking each other’s remaining clothes off. Skin on skin now and their bodies twisting and coiling against each other, friction building an urgent, upwards spiral of imperative desire.

“Christ, Slayer!” he groaned as her hands moved over him, unerringly finding all the places that made him writhe and surge against her. “Captain Cardboard didn’t teach you that!”

“No, you did.”

But her own breath was hitching and catching in her throat. With a hundred and twenty years experience behind him, he was a past master at loveplay and he was using that expertise on her now. He’d gone halfway into gameface. No one but Spike had ever used that ability on her and she had forgotten how unbelievably pleasurable it was, his tongue rough as a cat’s, unbearably stimulating as it rasped over her nipples and stomach and inner thighs, and his fangs out now and biting delicately at her flesh in tiny pinpricks that were hopelessly erotic.

“God, Spike!”

He laughed. It had turned into another battle between the two of them, but this time the struggle was to see who would drive each other higher, crazier; a battle in which neither of them could lose.

“No one else ever...” No one else had ever made her feel the way he did. The one time Angel had made love to her, he had stayed human, unwilling to expose his vampiric nature that might have turned her off, virgin and naive as she had been. And Riley and Parker were humans. No one human could match or satisfy a Slayer.

But this with Spike was more than that. Because she loved him now. She hadn’t loved him before, hadn’t known what a difference that could make. How every touch could mean so much, became an agonizing rapture, reached an intensity she had never experienced before. Her body strained to his; her arms clenched around him; she found herself murmuring helpless endearments blurrily into his skin, remembered him muttering indistinguishable words against her during all those three short months, words she had never allowed him to say aloud, but he had not been able to keep from saying. Oh, she understood it now.

He came into her hard and she cried aloud at the perfection of it. She had wanted it so much, so long. He made her complete. They surged against each other, fused at lips and loins, straining together.

Pure rapture, the hard drives of his cock, the thickness of him within her, his face above her taut with passion and lost in her and so beautiful in his pleasure. She clenched upon him and heard him gasp in shock and delight. This Spike hadn’t known what Slayer muscles could do.

They struggled against each other, thrusting towards completion and striving to hold it off at one and the same time, wanting the ecstasy to last, but moving faster and faster, harsher, more urgent, desperate, every nerve ending on fire, aware of nothing but sensation, existing only in the moment, in that unendurable conflagration that went on and on and on, until mind and body could bear no more.

She saw his eyes go blind, felt him jolt and pulse within her again and again, fell over the edge herself, her whole body convulsing, her brain blanking right out, losing herself utterly in him.


TBC

Chapter 3


Buffy woke up quietly and profoundly happy. Her cheek lay on Spike’s chest, her arm about his waist. She was lying half over him, her leg between his thighs. She smiled and tightened her arm about him, holding him closer. It was a wonderful way to wake up, having him with her. She had never allowed that in the other dimension, had always leaped to her feet and fled in shame after the sex was over, had never permitted either of them the afterglow.

It was sweet, painfully sweet. She had missed him so much that his presence here in her arms hurt her heart, brought her perilously close to tears. She turned her head a little and breathed in the scent of his skin, pressing her cheek into his chest.

Her whole body felt rich and heavy, languorous with fulfillment, completely exhausted and utterly content. They had worn each other out last night, unable to stop, taking each other again and again. She laughed a little, a breath against his cool flesh.

“What?” he asked.

She had known that he was awake. He was breathing steadily, which he hardly ever did when he was asleep. She tilted her head to look up at his face. He was watching her, his face very still and thoughtful, his lids down so that from this angle all she could see of his eyes was a flash of blue behind the thick, straight lashes.

“I think we broke every record there is, even the ones we set in my dimension.”

“Wouldn’t be surprised.” His scarred eyebrow tilted in sardonic amusement. “That’s an odd feeling. Having to compete with myself. How do I compare?”

“You’re Spike, so of course it’s the same.”

“I’m not the same man, Slayer. Not the one you seem to know.”

“Yes, you are. Whatever makes you a unique individual, the personality, the likes, the dislikes, the...” she grinned and licked his nipple and felt him shiver, “the responses. They’re all there. The only difference is that you don’t love me.”

“That should be a big one,” he said dryly.

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Doesn’t it?”

“You were dead, Spike. You were dead and now you’re not. Nothing matters beside that.”

He frowned. His lids had lifted and she could see things moving behind his eyes, but couldn’t tell what he was thinking.

“That sounds serious.”

“Doesn’t have to be,” she said quietly. “Can just be fun. Not asking anything of you, okay? Not laying anything on you. You enjoyed last night, didn’t you?”

He grinned crookedly. “Yeah, I enjoyed it. You’re something else in bed, Slayer. Thought my balls would turn inside out.”

She giggled involuntarily. “Sweet talker.”

They both laughed.

He rolled her over suddenly so that she was on her back and he was leaning over her, looking down at her, his eyes narrow and dangerous. It was the look she saw when they were locked in combat. That deadly, give-no-quarter, leopard look.

“We’re enemies, Slayer. We might be fucking, but we’re still enemies.”

“Adds something, doesn’t it?” she mocked and he grinned .

“Yeah, it does.”

“Gives you a thrill, huh? Wondering whether I’ll suddenly decide to stake you instead of fucking your brains out?”

He laughed involuntarily. “Got that last part right. You did fuck my brains out. God, those Slayer muscles! I thought you were bragging when you talked about them before. But you weren’t.”

She looked at him, puzzled. “I talked about them? When?”

“Couple of months back. When that psycho Slayer was here.”

“Faith?” She frowned. “What did sh... I say?”

“Something about your having muscles I’d never even dreamed of, that you could squeeze me until I popped like warm champagne and begged you to hurt me just a little bit more.”

“God, what a ho!”

He grinned. “Gave me a hell of a shock, you saying that. Always seemed such a stick-up-the-ass before. Got me thinking though. Got me wondering what it’d be like.”

Looked like Faith had done her a favor without meaning to, putting ideas into Spike’s head way before he had ever even thought of falling in love with her.

“Turned you on, did it?”

“Yeah. But you were hot right from the beginning, Slayer. Turned on? Got turned on the first time I even saw you, dancing at the Bronze.”

She smiled. “Really?”

“Yeah. Dru even...” He broke off abruptly.

“Dru even what?”

His lids dropped, hiding his eyes. “That truce we had back during that Acathla business freaked her out. But then she went even more mental than usual.”

“About what?”

He shrugged a little. “Saw this maybe.”

“Oh.” She thought about that. Dru might have, with those psychic abilities of hers. “Do you think that’s why she dumped you?”

“Maybe.” His lids lifted. His eyes were dark and confused. “Said I was covered in you. Said she could see you floating all around me.”

Her eyes widened. Had it started even back then? Had it started right from the beginning and neither of them had noticed?

“Listen,” she said suddenly. “This me. This one’s not going to stake you. You may be my enemy, but I’m not yours. If...”

“Why not?” He was frowning at her.

She didn’t want to bring the L-word into this. Not right now. Maybe not ever. If he was not aware of it...It was in fact better if he were not aware of it, if he never became aware, if they were just fuck buddies rather than lovers. But her hands couldn’t help flattening on his shoulderblades, pressing him to her.

“Just not. If the risk gives you that extra thrill, I’m going to have to disappoint you. There’s no risk. I’m not going to stake you.” She reached up and stroked his face helplessly. “I’m enjoying this too much.”

The caress made his brows flick together, eyes darkening even more.

“Might rip your throat out. Have you thought of that? Never gonna get a better chance.”

“To bag your third Slayer? Go ahead. Why don’t you?”

“Enjoying this too much,” he said in his turn and they both grinned tightly. “Might though. Get tired of you and I will. You’ll never see it coming.”

“You won’t do that.”

“Why not? Think you’re that irresistible, Slayer?”

“No. Think you fight fair.” She laughed as his mouth twisted wryly. “I know you, Spike. You’ll give me warning. You won’t kill me in my sleep. I can trust you.”

His face went abruptly still.

“You’re a bloody fool, Slayer!” he said violently. “Trust? I’m a demon, remember? I’m evil!”

“You still fight fair.”

There was a silence. She could feel the tension in his body, see the conflict in his eyes, see him resisting the deeper implications that he didn’t want to acknowledge, shutting them out. Then his forehead dropped against the pillow.

“You don’t,” he growled. “You don’t fight fair at all.”

She laughed and kissed his neck and felt his hands tighten on her upper arms in involuntary response.

“Listen. What I was trying to say before...This me. I don’t know how long I’ll be here. Might be a couple of weeks, might be a couple of years. However long it is, it’s only temporary. The PTB will be working on getting things back the way they should be, with the right Buffy in the right dimension. Sooner or later, they’ll send me back and bring the other Buffy home.”

“Make the most of it, is that what you’re saying?”

“No. What I’m saying is that if...when she comes back, I want you to leave Sunnydale. You don’t need the grief.”

He turned his head on the pillow to look at her, his brows lifting in surprise.

“But that would change things.”

“Yes!” she said intensely. “It wouldn’t go the way it did in my dimension. You wouldn’t die. If I’m still here, I’d be able to prevent it. Prevent a lot of bad things from happening. But if I’m not here, they’ll happen, Spike. You’ll die. And she’ll let you die. I don’t want that to happen again.”

“What did happen?”

“An apocalypse, what else? Another Big Bad—name’s the First Evil. We had to destroy the Hellmouth to defeat it. You did it. There was this amulet. You wore it, powered it. It brought the place down, but it took you with it. You...” She swallowed hard. “You burned.”

He was looking at her intently. “You cared about that.”

“I cared.”

“But she’s you, isn’t she?”

“Not at this point in time. And maybe she never will be. Who knows how things will go in this dimension? The future is always in flux. No event is guaranteed until it happens. I know how I was at this point. Hung up on Angel, damaged by Angelus, hooking up with dullo-boy Riley because I thought he was normal and I wanted to be a normal girl...”

“Sod that. You’re a Slayer. Of course you’re not normal. You’re bleeding special!”

“Didn’t feel special. Felt like a freak.”

“Buffy...”

“Dumb, huh? Did I ever have issues! And it just gets worse. Things are going to happen that’ll send this dimension’s Buffy off the deep end. And if you’re here, you’ll get the brunt of it. I’ve been thinking. I’m going to write everything out, what could happen and what can be done to prevent it. Leave it somewhere where Giles and the other Buffy will find it. Trouble is, I don’t know whether she’ll have the sense to do what she should. There’s too many things that could go wrong. Too many variables. I want you out of it.”

“Even if that screws up this dimension?”

“It’s already screwed up, isn’t it?”

“How would it go if I weren’t around?”

Buffy thought about that. This dimension’s Buffy would never learn to love or have Spike. She would lose him. But she had lost Spike anyway. He had died. This way he wouldn’t. And this dimension’s Buffy would never even know what she had lost. She honestly didn’t know whether that was better or worse. The only thing she did know was that Spike would be alive.

“A lot of shit happened. And a lot of it hurt you. You don’t need to go through all that pain. Save yourself the grief, Spike. Just get out while the getting’s good. Don’t need to die. Angel can wear that frigging amulet. Let Angel go poof if it’s needed.”

He laughed involuntarily. “Never thought I’d hear you say that!”

She laughed too. “Not too happy with him. One way or the other, he plays us all. For our own good, of course.”

“Of course.”

They exchanged sardonic glances.

“He’ll come back. The PTB have some kind of interest in him. They’ll bring him back just like they did when I sent him to Hell. You’re the one at risk.”

“No sodding hero here, pet. Not gonna immolate myself for anybody’s bloody good. That other Buffy comes back, I’m outta here. Guaranteed.”

She let out a little breath of relief. “Good.”

He gave her a sideways, mocking glance. “Couldn’t look into getting this chip out of my head as well, could you, pet? Might make things easier for me in Brazil or wherever.”

“God! You never know when to quit, do you?” But she couldn’t help laughing. It was so like him to push for everything he could possibly get.

“No harm in asking. Little lightheaded here. Kinda hard to get my lobes around all this. The goodwill and all the Slayer tail.”

She hit his shoulder and they both laughed.

“Who knows how long it’ll last?” she growled. “So this time I will say make the most of it.”

“Oh, I plan to.” He twisted to settle himself between her thighs, pulling her legs up around his hips, rubbed himself deliberately against her. “Like right now.”

“One of your better plans,” she purred and arched against him.

***

He came with her on patrol that night. The only time she had allowed him to do that before was during that last year when she had taken him along to help train the Potentials, show them what a vampire was like, what one could do. Previous to that, she had always flatly rejected any attempt he made to join her. It was another example of how blindly prejudiced she had been, refusing to utilize a resource as valuable as Spike when it was offered. She felt like kicking herself.

She had always felt so alone and lonely on patrol, but the times that the Scoobies joined her had been unsatisfactory because she always had to keep an eye out to make sure they weren’t getting into trouble. She didn’t have to do that with Spike. He was a superb fighter, an asset not a liability, and he loved fighting. Patrol gave him an outlet for all that pent up energy and he was enjoying himself completely. They made a marvelous team.

“Glad you suggested I come along,” he said, grinning after they had taken out a pack of Grathar. “This is fun!”

“You realize that you’ve just become a traitor to demonkind.”

“Yeah, but it’s so good to be able to kill things again!”

They both laughed. Then Buffy remembered something and gave him a rueful look.

“You’re going to get beaten up for it.”

“By demons?”

She nodded. “At Willy’s.”

He gave her a mocking, sideways glance. “I’ll just tell them I’m the Slayer’s boyfriend. That’ll give them another think.”

“Well, you are. But I’m not sure that’ll make them think.”

“Might.” Then he laughed at the sight of her worried face. “C’mon, pet. Bunch of lame ass demons aren’t going to take me. Must have got me by surprise over in your dimension. Know to watch out for them now that you’ve told me. They’re gonna get their asses handed to them. Only one who could ever take me is you and even that’s debatable.”

“Oh, yeah?”

He ducked the punch she threw at him, threw one back. “Yeah.”

They battled back and forth across the cemetery, laughing. They were evenly matched, equally fast and deadly, and it was pure exhilaration for them.

Then Buffy caught sight of something out of the corner of her eye. “Shit!”

She flung herself on Spike, knocking him to the ground just as a crossbow bolt flew at him. It flashed over their heads and embedded itself with a thud into a tree.

“Xander, no!” she yelled.

She didn’t know what they were doing here and this was not the time to ask. Angel was leaping at Spike, Xander was struggling to reload his crossbow, and Giles was aiming his. None of the three men were listening to her. As usual.

The greatest danger was Giles with a charged crossbow. Buffy was over the intervening space in a second, then kicked it out of his hands. It flew up into the air and didn’t even reach its maximum apogee before she turned on Xander and ripped his bow from his hands. Giles’s crossbow clattered onto the ground just as she broke Xander’s across her knee.

Behind her, Angel and Spike were tearing into each other, Angel snarling and Spike grinning widely with satisfaction.

“Buffy, are you insane?” Giles was gasping. “Why are you stopping us? His chip’s not working! He’s a threat again!”

“His chip’s working fine!”

“He hit you!”

“We were sparring! Xander, stop that!”

Xander was scrabbling after Giles’s intact crossbow where it lay on the ground. Buffy stepped onto it with one foot and ripped out the bowstring with the other.

“Are you crazy?” Xander screamed at her over the ruined crossbows. “Why did you do that?”

“Enough with the hysterics! Listen to me for once! There is nothing wrong with Spike’s chip!”

“Then why can he hit you?” Giles shouted.

“I’m the only human he can hit. There’s something a little different about me, that’s all. Oh, for Pete’s sake!” she exclaimed as Xander, struggling to get a stake out of his pocket, tried to run over to where Angel and Spike were battling it out.

She tripped Xander up, then put a foot in the middle of his back when he fell and held him flat on the ground as she bent and yanked the stake away from him.

“Giles,” she said, holding the stake up pointedly. “Sit down on that tombstone or get perforated in some place not deadly but extremely painful.”

Giles thumped down on the tombstone.

“And you,” she said to Xander, taking her foot off his back, “go sit on the one next to him.” She glanced over at the vampire slugfest. “They need to work off some steam, so we’ll let them be as long as they play nice.”

“Buffy...” Xander staggered to his feet, gaping at her.

“Sit.” She shoved him down onto the tombstone that she had indicated. “Listen to me, the two of you. In the simplest language possible. Spike’s chip still works except on me. He is no threat to anyone human. I am slightly different, which is why he can hit me. But he won’t hurt me because he doesn’t want to. We were just sparring. Got all that?”

“But...” said Xander.

Buffy sighed. “Still too many big words? Okay, let’s make it even simpler. You hurt Spike, I hurt you.”

“Buffy!”

“Shut up.”

She was watching Angel and Spike intently. Both of them were bruised and bloody by this time since they were both trying to damage each other as much as they possibly could. But it seemed to her that Spike had the edge. He was grinning happily while Angel was grim and furious as they slugged it out.

“Uh-oh. Naughty.”

Angel had yanked out the crossbow bolt that had been embedded in the tree. Buffy took two running steps forward and kicked. The toe of her boot struck Angel’s wrist hard. The bolt flew out of his hand and described a parabola into the bushes. Her foot came down, then left the ground again as she leaped. Both feet impacted in a solid dropkick on Angel’s chest. Then Buffy landed neatly in a crouch and Angel thudded back onto his ass on the grass some ten feet away.

“Just when we were having fun,” Spike complained, swiping at the blood trickling from the corner of his mouth. “Party pooper.”

“Call that fun?” Buffy growled in exasperation. Both he and Angel were battered. They had meant every punch.

“Hey, we didn’t even go into gameface. Just working off a hundred and twenty years’ worth of steam, pet.”

“Figured that. Until he tried to dust you.”

Angel was clambering back to his feet, bent over a little from where Spike had got a boot into the pit of his stomach. He was looking shamefaced. Buffy guessed that he hadn’t even been aware of what he was doing by reaching for that bolt. He had just been so angry that he had grabbed at whatever weapon was at hand.

“This time you get a pass, Angel, because you didn’t succeed in hurting Spike,” she said coldly. “But the next time you try that, you’ll be blowing in the wind.”

“He was going to kill you!”

“No, he wasn’t. We were only sparring.”

“Just playing,” shrugged Spike. He dropped his forearms onto Buffy’s shoulders and pulled her back to lean against him, then grinned at the enraged expression on Angel’s face.

“Sparring? He may have fooled you, but he doesn’t fool me, Buffy! The minute he gets through your guard, he’ll tear your throat out!”

“Yeah!” said Xander with total conviction.

“Won’t kill her,” purred Spike. He dropped his head and bit lightly at the side of Buffy’s neck with his blunt human teeth. “Having too much fun screwing her.”

“Hahrgh!”

Angel went into gameface, fangs flashing. Xander and Giles jolted to their feet.

“Everybody stop!” yelled Buffy and put up a foot to shove Angel away as he flung himself at Spike. “My choice!”

“You can’t...!” gasped Giles.

“I can do anything I like. Free agent here.” She twisted in Spike’s grasp and slapped him lightly upside the head. “Troublemaker. Had to put it in the worst possible way, didn’t you?”

He was grinning. “Couldn’t resist.”

“You’re not...! You can’t be sleeping with him!” Xander wailed despairingly.

“Told you. We’re lovers in the other dimension. We’re lovers here. That’s the way I want it and that’s the way it’s gonna be. My life. My decision. All of you, butt out.”

“Buffy!” three voices chorused.

“No,” she said flatly. “Deal with it, the bunch of you. Ever since I’ve known you, all three of you have been pushing me around. That stops here. This Buffy decides what she wants to do and none of you have the right to tell me otherwise. I like sleeping with Spike, I’m going to continue sleeping with Spike and if anyone of you harms him for it, they’re gonna wish they were never born.”

There was a dead silence.

“If you don’t like it, take it up with Whistler. The other Buffy might fold under all the shit you keep dumping on her. I won’t. Good example is right now. What are the three of you doing in Restfield? You never volunteered to patrol before. But suddenly here you are. Making sure I’m doing my duty? Checking up on me?”

Giles and Xander turned red and Angel avoided her eyes.

“Yeah. Thought so. Where are the girls? Hiding behind a tree?”

“They’re back at Giles’s place,” Xander mumbled. “Didn’t want to come along.”

“They always had more sense than the three of you.” She slid an arm around Spike’s waist. “Let’s go tell them what the situation is. I don’t trust the Three Stooges here not to twist things around so that Willow and Tara are tricked into using their mojo the wrong way.”

Spike dropped an arm around her as well and they walked along comfortably linked together. He turned his head to grin tauntingly over his shoulder at Giles, Xander and Angel following with scowls on their faces at the sight of Buffy being so intimate and easy with Spike. The whole thing was just way too much fun.

He was enjoying himself hugely. Twisting everyone’s tails like this just couldn’t be passed up and fucking the Slayer was turning out to be amazing! A hundred and twenty years of the cold, deliberate, twisted games that constituted vamp loving had never taken him to these heights, never made him feel the way Slayer made him feel.

He’d never had sex with a human before. They were too fragile. Couldn’t really cut loose without hurting them and, unlike Angelus, he didn’t get off on inflicting pain. Wasn’t a sadist, didn’t enjoy the pre-show, didn’t even like playing with his food more than what was necessary to cut them out of the herd and get them someplace private where he could drain their blood. No fun when one had to be careful of one’s strength and hold back all the time. But he was starting to understand what the attraction was.

The heat! Vamp skin was cool, room-temperature. He wasn’t used to the heat, wasn’t used to the intensity. But that intensity was the Slayer. It wasn’t because she was human; it was because she was the Slayer. The heat was human; the strength that matched his was the Slayer; the combination irresistible. Slayer muscles battling his, clenching upon him, milking him...He really had almost turned inside out, his climaxes had been so shattering.

Wasn’t going to give that up. Not until the other Buffy came back. He’d get the hell out of Dodge then, like he’d promised this Buffy. But as long as this Buffy stayed around, he was going to take advantage of the best sex he had ever had in his unlife.

The three girls were at the Watcher’s pad. So was Captain Cardboard, with his good buddy, what was the sod’s name, oh, yeah, Graham, at his side. Spike tightened his arm around Buffy’s neck, pressing her head into the curve of his neck and shoulder, and watched with amused satisfaction as Finn turned an interesting shade of magenta when Buffy showed every sign of enjoying it.

“What the hell are you doing with him?” Finn yelled and Buffy sighed deeply.

“Everything she possibly can,” purred Spike and snickered into Buffy’s hair.

She whacked his chest. “Shut up, Spike,” she growled, but her eyes were laughing.

“Buffy!” Willow whispered. “You can’t be s...sl...”

“Sleeping with Spike? Yes, I am.”

“He’s a vamp!” yelled Riley.

“Is that a fact?” Buffy gave Riley a scornful glance. “What that means to me is that I can finally get off in bed. You never did it for me, Riley. I always had to hold back just in case I bust you somewhere, which meant I never really got off. Don’t have to hold back with Spike. He’s really satisfying in bed. The best.”

Spike laughed helplessly while Riley looked like his head was going to explode. “Thanks, pet. Appreciate the assessment.”

“Humans don’t really cut it, do they?” remarked Anya sympathetically. “I remember that back when I was a demon. They don’t have the strength or the stamina. You might discuss that with our Buffy sometime, Riley.”

“I never thought you’d cheat on me, Buffy,” said Riley bitterly, not listening. “And not with him!”

“Who’s cheating? In my dimension, you dumped me, Riley, after screwing around with vamp hos. I’m not your girlfriend, Riley. Your girlfriend went poof. This Buffy is Spike’s girlfriend.”

“Not for long,” snarled Riley, heading towards Spike.

Buffy stepped in between and shoved him away. “Do you really want me to smack you around some more, Riley?”

“Bet you wish Engelman had set the chip to kill me when it went off instead of just giving me a headache, huh, tin soldier,” Spike mocked. “Too late now, with all the Initiative sods being pulled out. Blew a real good opportunity there.”

Riley looked at him with hatred.

Buffy looked around at all the frowning faces. “I want to make things perfectly clear. Spike and I are lovers. That is my choice, my decision. And none of you have the right to interfere. I don’t know how much mojo you and Tara have, Willow. But I’m warning you. Don’t use it on either Spike or me.”

“We wouldn’t!” exclaimed Tara and Willow at the same time.

“You might have been talked into it. The reason I’m telling you this is because Giles, Xander and Angel have discovered that Spike’s chip doesn’t go off when he hits me.”

“What!” exclaimed Riley in horror.

Spike happily went into full gameface, leaned forward and bit Buffy’s neck in demonstration. It was a light bite, but his fangs deliberately broke the skin and let a small amount of blood trickle free.

“See? No pain,” he said smugly, then licked the wound to seal it and sucked the blood off her skin. “Whoa. Slayer blood. Real rush, pet.”

Buffy glanced warily around. Willow and Tara were looking stunned, Anya amused, Giles and Xander horrified, Angel furious and Riley appalled. Graham in the background had a set, expressionless face.

“Never know when to stop pushing, do you?” she muttered to Spike under her breath and he laughed.

“But how?” exclaimed Willow.

“Another one of your spells gone a little off, Will. Tara said it’s like a deep tropical cellular tan that confuses Spike’s chip so that it doesn’t work on me. But the chip still does keep him from biting any other human. So none of you have any excuse to dust Spike because of it.”

“But if he can hurt you,” Willow said and Spike laughed.

“Why should I? Having too much fun fucking h...”

“Spike!” exclaimed Buffy too late once again and he smirked at her. She looked at the expressions on everybody’s faces and sighed. “That could have been put a little less crudely, but it does sort of cover the situation.”

“Buffy...” Giles began.

“No, Giles,” she said firmly. “This is the way I want it. Deal. Okay, Spike and I are going to go back on patrol, then we’re going home. We’ll see you all tomorrow.”

Giles frowned. “Are you both staying at Revello Drive? I didn’t think your mother was quite so open-minded.”

“She’s not.” Buffy grinned at him. “We’ve got our own place. Where exactly we’re not telling you, for obvious reasons.”

“But what if we need to make contact with you?” Giles protested.

“Buffy’s gonna get a cell and she’ll give you its number once she has it,” Spike said. “Until then, she’ll call you every now and then to check. ”

He was grinning as the two of them walked out, their arms around each other’s waists. The seething hostility in both Riley and Angel was immensely satisfactory and the stunned helplessness of the Scoobies was icing on the cake. They’d asked for this. He’d even warned them and they hadn’t listened. This was payback on a scale he hadn’t even envisioned and he was enjoying every minute of it.

Slayer in his bed though was the best part of it. He shucked his duster and toed out of his Docs the minute they shut the flat’s door behind them. She laughed when he reached out and pulled her against him, but her eyes were soft.

“Shafting the Scoobs turns you on?” she mocked.

“You know it,” he grinned. “But I already had an appetite.”

She leaned against him, smiling, pulling his T-shirt out of his jeans. “When don’t you?”

They kissed slowly, luxuriously—long, slow, drugging kisses. He pulled his tee off when she pushed it up, tossed it away. She stroked him delicately as they kissed, fingertips sliding over his body, across his face again and again. Something inside him responded to that, to the gentleness, the tenderness in her touch. Something long buried and unacknowledged.

He tried to shove it back down, tried to repudiate it. It was a weakness. He had always been gentle with Dru, hadn’t been able to help it, a hardwired response that she had made use of but never appreciated. Twisted by Angelus, Dru had liked pain. But his gentleness and care had meant safety, so she had allowed it. She had never given it back though, never really valued it, just as she had never really valued him, fixated on Angelus as she had been.

But the Slayer...This other-dimension Buffy Summers. The way she touched him, hands gliding delicately, lingeringly over him, mouth responding to his, lips sliding along the line of his jaw, down the cord of his neck, along his collarbone. The little sharp catch of her breath as his hands moved over her. As if it mattered, his touch, her caresses; mattered deeply. As if he mattered.

What had happened in that other dimension to bring this kind of a response? What was it in her eyes when she looked at him?

He didn’t want to know. He understood sex. The driving games of it. It was simple, basic. An urge, like feeding, easily satisfied and easily forgotten. But this was something else, something more, and he didn’t want to understand what it was, feared it because it touched things in him that he had deliberately pushed down and dismissed, vulnerabilities that he had hidden for a hundred and twenty years.

“What are you doing to me?” he said harshly against her mouth and felt her smile.

“Only what you want.”

He did want it. He shut that thought out angrily, picked her up and dropped her onto the bed. She lay there, her arms above her head, waiting for him, her gaze smiling and soft. Knowing. She knew him too well. Four years more of knowledge that he didn’t have a clue about.

“You know too much,” he muttered, yanking off her boots.

“Can’t help that.”

“Don’t like it.” He undressed her swiftly and she let him, arching lazily to his hands.

“There is an obvious solution.”

He frowned down at her as he stood by the bed, stripping off his jeans. “What?”

“I could leave.” But she reached out and ran her hand up his naked thigh, pressed her palm into the hollow of his pelvis. His cock responded even though she hadn’t touched it and she laughed.

He laughed too, an angry, exasperated sound. “No. Don’t want you to leave.”

“Not yet anyway, right?” she murmured as he folded down on top of her.

He found himself wanting to say, ‘Not ever,’ and that was another concession, his defences going down before her one by one.

“Dammit,” he muttered instead and kissed her painfully hard.

She kissed him back as fiercely, her arms closing about him, her legs coming up to grip his waist. The sole of her foot slid across his ass and down the back of his thigh. His hands tightened demandingly on her.

“Hey,” she said and rolled him over suddenly onto his back, leaned over him, smiling. “What’s the hurry?”

He was in a hurry, wanting to bury himself in her, forget thought in sensation. The heavy golden waves of her hair fell like a curtain about his head as he looked up at her, blocking out the world so that there was nothing but her and that strange tenderness in her face and that expression in her eyes he didn’t want to understand.

“Where have you gone?” asked Buffy. The face looking up at her was remote, resistant, its strong bone-structure suddenly very visible and hard, like something carven out of alabaster, eyes half-lidded and dark, lips closed and still. She had never seen him like this before: Spike’s thoughts and emotions had always been clearly visible on his face, even when she refused to see them. This cool, intransigent stillness made him a stranger.

“I won’t be what you want me to be.”

“Don’t want you to be anything but what you are,” she said and bent to kiss that closed, resistive mouth and felt it soften and open under hers. “Be what you like.”

“A vamp?” he mocked.

“No problems with that.” Not any longer.

“Really?” His thumb came up to feather lightly over the shallow bite mark he had left on her neck, already fading with her Slayer healing. His gaze was derisive. “Did I drink from you in the other dimension then? Did a Slayer allow a vamp to take her blood? Don’t think so. Your good buddies would have freaked, same way they do here.”

“Yeah, they would have freaked,” she agreed. He had never bitten her in the other dimension, had known that she would never have let him. “Had a lot of issues then. I’ve grown out of them. Slayer blood. Is that what you want?”

He laughed harshly. “Yeah, sure. Doesn’t every vamp?”

“Take it then.”

He stared at her. “What?”

“Anything you want.”

It was like being hit by an explosion. All of a sudden she was on her back and he was leaning over her, in full gameface, eyes golden and dangerous.

“I will.” It was a snarl, angry and threatening. He wanted her to resist, was fighting her somewhere deep down.

She wrapped her arms around his sides, pulling him down upon her, her hands flattening over the sharpness of his shoulderblades to press him to her. “Go ahead.”

He made a furious, frustrated sound in his throat, then suddenly bit. She felt his fangs slide into her neck. It should have hurt. It didn’t. Instead a singing, heated rapture began under the draw of his fangs, an electric current shuddering through every cell of her body. She gasped in helpless pleasure, understanding now how Riley could have become addicted in her dimension and why humans would be drawn obsessively to the vamps in the bite shops.

“God, Spike!”

He was shuddering himself, his body tensing and vibrating upon her. Slayer blood, an aphrodisiac to vamps. She could feel him impossibly hard and urgent between her thighs. The draw of his fangs slowed and his hands moved to knead her breasts, thumbs rasping across her nipples. She arched involuntarily to him.

“Ohhh...!”

She had never felt anything like this before, even in those three months when they had been all over each other. But then she had never let him take her blood before. He was stretching out the draw, that unbearable rapture building and intensifying for both of them the longer it went on, his hands kneading and sliding demandingly over her breasts and belly and thighs, just as she was clutching at him, writhing helplessly under him.

“Oh, God, Spike, come on!”

His knee pushed her thighs apart. She felt the broad, silken head of his cock press against her entrance, felt him come into her with one hard, smooth thrust, clenched upon him involuntarily with all her Slayer strength and heard him groan with pleasure against her neck. Then she was lost in the driving rhythm of his body pistoning into her, straining against him, her hands clawing down his back, her mouth gasping against the side of his head, feeling his breath hitch and shudder around his fangs in her neck.

It went on unbearably forever, that draw of his fangs fueling them both beyond thought, beyond reason, beyond what was humanly possible. Pure sensation, exquisite, excruciating. She thought she would die before his body seized up and he jolted within her. Her lungs, heart, brain stopped, shorting right out.

“Again, Slayer,” he rasped against her face as she struggled back to herself.

“OhmiGod, I’m so wiped...You’re out of your mind...”

He laughed breathlessly. “Not half done yet.”

Slayer blood. She laughed too, groaned as her whole body responded to his, caught him to her helplessly.


TBC

Chapter 4

She was getting to him. He couldn’t let that happen. Had to shut himself off from her. He was Spike. He was the Big Bad, a little off his form right now because of that chip in his head, but wait till he managed to get it out. Which he would, sooner or later. Then look out. He’d killed two Slayers already. Could kill this one too right now. Didn’t even have to wait to get the chip out because the chip didn’t work on her. Maybe he should kill her. Maybe he would, if she got too close.

Not yet though. Not while he was getting great sex and Slayer blood. Why pass that up? He was safe from her. All he had to do was think of the other Buffy, the one who belonged in this dimension, the one he knew so well, with her cold, contemptuous eyes and her rigid intolerance. The one who saw him as a thing, not a person. That was the real Buffy Summers.

Yeah, that put a right kibosh on any tendency to weaken, the thought of that Buffy Summers.

This one wasn’t real. This one was the dream. That old, old, treacherous, hopeless, hurtful dream of being loved that he never could manage to eradicate in himself and which came springing up like a weed at the least suggestion of caring, to cut and scar his unbeating but very existent heart. His one real vulnerability, that dream was; the true danger.

Because, like a dream, this Slayer would vanish. In a week, a month, a year, however long it took the PTB to get their act together. And there he would be, slashed to ribbons again and flung out into the cold once more, the way Cicely had and Dru after her. Better not to come out of the cold in the first place. Better to keep that wall up against her. Better even to kill her if she came anywhere close to breaching it.

“You’ve gone off again,” she said from where she was lying half-sprawled across him as he lay on his back, his gaze fixed on the ceiling. “What are you thinking about?”

“Killing you.”

She slid herself even further across him and pushed herself up on her elbows on either side of him to laugh down at him. “And give up all the sex and blood?”

“Yeah, I was just thinking that. It would be tough.”

“Slayer blood’s tastier than pig’s, isn’t it?”

“Like champagne compared to raw hooch,” he agreed. “Lot more powerful too. Won’t need to feed for days.”

“And it really adds something to the sex,” she murmured and dropped her head to suck at his throat.

“Oh, yeah.”

He closed his eyes, immersing himself in the sensation—her mouth on his throat, her hair slipping soft across his skin, her body sliding across him, the way she was holding him close and warm and cherished. It might be a dream and an illusion, but it was sweet and why couldn’t he indulge in it for a little while as long as he kept remembering that it was just a dream?

Buffy did make her classes that day, leaving Spike to sleep. Willow and Tara came tentatively across to join her. She was regaining her old rapport with Willow, starting to put behind her all that had happened in the other dimension and hopefully never would happen here if she could fix things. It was nice to be able to indulge in girl talk again, without the bitterness that had come that last year and later when she had learned that Willow had conspired to keep Spike’s return a secret. And there had never been anything painful between Buffy and Tara.

Sitting out on the grass between classes, she explained to Willow as gently as she could why Willow had to be careful about using her magic and what things could and had gone wrong. Tara understood right away. Even though Willow was the more powerful witch, Tara was the one who was aware of the responsibilities of power that Willow refused to think about. Willow was thinking about it now, white-faced even though Buffy had tried to be as kind as possible.

“I did all those things?” she whispered.

“Yeah. But that’s in the other dimension, Will. You haven’t done them here, so don’t beat yourself up about it. I just wanted you to be aware of what can happen and what the consequences might be. Tara knows about consequences, but you don’t, not really.”

“I’ll listen to Tara. I will, Buffy!”

“You could ask Giles to find you a tutor who can teach you to use those powers responsibly. Tara loves you too much and might hesitate to stop you if you go off-track. A tutor would yank you back to the straight and narrow right away. I’ll help as long as I’m here. But who knows when the PTB will bring your Buffy back and send me home? That’s why I told you. You had to be made aware. You’re an awfully powerful witch, Will. I don’t know anyone else who could have done that Adjoining spell.”

“Yeah, but I messed it up,” Willow said under her breath. “I do need a tutor.”

“Giles should have got you one long ago. I don’t know why he didn’t.” Buffy sighed. “But Giles is another problem I’m working on. And then there’s Xander with his demon hang-up. He’s getting really irrational and bigoted about that. Maybe you can do something about that, Will. He listens to you. I don’t think he’ll listen to me. Right now, I think he’s seeing me more as an enemy than a friend, because I don’t think the way your Buffy does and I’m having a relationship with Spike, which he really hates.”

“I’ll try. I’ll do my best. I promise. God!” exclaimed Willow. “Things are getting so complicated!”

“They always were. You all just closed your eyes to it because you didn’t want to see.”

Willow groaned. “We’ve been wearing blinders over our eyes, haven’t we? Seeing only what we wanted to. It’s awful!”

Tara hugged her reassuringly. “It’ll all work out, sweetie, now that we know.”

“There’s no hurry,” said Buffy. “There’s plenty of time. It doesn’t all have to be fixed at once. Just being aware makes a difference.” She grinned at Willow. “Don’t get all obsessive-compulsive about it. I know you, Willow. You go all tunnel vision. Don’t. No need to stop having fun.”

“That’s true,” said Willow, brightening. “Tara and I are going to the Bronze tonight with Anya and Xan. Why don’t you and Spike come too, Buffy?”

“That would be fun.” Buffy thought Spike would like that.

Spike liked the idea a lot. His eyes went half-lidded with provocation and mockery, and there was a sheen on him, a glitter that spelled trouble, Buffy realized ruefully. The Scoobies had never permitted him to be part of their group at the Bronze and Buffy herself had never allowed him to dance with her, even in the other dimension. Rubbing it in to the Scoobies cracked him up.

Especially when Xander started a slow burn the moment he saw that Spike was joining them. That changed to fury on the realization that Spike was there as Buffy’s date. When Spike drew Buffy onto the dance floor for a slow dance, Xander’s face went bright red and Spike could barely contain his amusement and satisfaction.

“Don’t tease the animals,” muttered Buffy and Spike laughed.

“Aah, that wanker’s just a pussy.” His arms tightened, pressing her to him, and he ran his lips down the side of her neck and around to the hollow of her throat, his face nuzzling into her flesh. “Looka that. Never seen anybody turn quite that shade of purple before. Kiss me back, pet, and let’s see if he’ll blow a gasket.”

Buffy giggled involuntarily. “Kiss you how? Like this?”

She pushed his head back and ran her lips along the underside of his jaw from ear to ear. Spike purred.

“Forget about the tosser. Just keep doing that.” Then his head came down and his eyes lit with wicked laughter. “Oh, things just got even better!”

She turned her head and saw Riley glaring at them.

“Let’s up the ante,” purred Spike and kissed her deeply, bending her back over the bar of his arm.

Amused herself, she kissed him back happily. When he let her come back up for air a long time later, she saw that Riley’s face had turned even more purple than Xander’s. Then Graham turned up at Riley’s side, grabbed his arm and pulled him away, talking at him urgently.

“One of these days you’ll go too far,” she muttered. Spike just laughed.

“Never liked the sod. I’d have called open season on him long ago if this dimension’s Buffy hadn’t protected him.”

“He’s human. He can hurt you and you can’t fight back.”

He grinned at her. “But you’re Buffy from the other dimension. You’ll protect me.”

“Don’t count on it,” she growled.

“I don’t.” He spun her around, then dipped her over his arm, laughing. “Stop worrying and just have fun.”

Riley was nowhere in sight now. Graham must have made him leave the Bronze. Buffy relaxed. Spike was playing games and it was fun going along with him. He was really pushing it and kept pushing it the rest of the night. Whether sitting beside her at the table with the Scoobies or slow dancing to the music, he kept holding her intimately close, whispering teasing remarks and updates about how the Scoobies were reacting into her ear, his hands sliding over her in deliberately suggestive, provocative caresses. By the end of the evening, they were almost making love on the dance floor.

Seeing the stunned looks on Willow, Tara and Anya’s faces and the congested fury in Xander’s hit her funnybone. It shouldn’t have. These Scoobies didn’t really deserve it. But her anger at the other Scoobies was still smouldering somewhere inside her. Indulging Spike and his games, teasing them like this somehow eased it, underlined the fact that they couldn’t tell her what to do anymore.

“Stick-up-the-ass Summers,” murmured Spike and laughed deep in his throat.

“Thought I’d proved that this Buffy isn’t.” She bit his lower lip softly and felt his arms tighten around her.

“Come home and prove it some more.”

She rubbed herself against the hardness lengthening down his thigh. “Okay.”

His eyes were dancing. “Love the way this Buffy likes playing with fire.”

They had been doing that all evening, teasing the Scoobies, teasing each other. She had always been so cautious and inhibited before. This recklessness she had caught from him tonight was exhilarating.

“We’re going home now,” she said to the Scoobies when the two of them got back to the table.

“Uh, yeah,” said Willow with a sideways glance at Xander that said she thought it was more than time. “Maybe we all should. It’s getting late.”

“Oh! I meant to tell you, Buffy, but I-I forgot...” Tara’s blush and glance at Spike made it obvious what had distracted her and Buffy grinned. “Giles has got you that cell phone you wanted.”

“Oh, good. I’ll drop by before patrol tomorrow and pick it up.” Buffy realized that Spike had an absent look on his face, his eyes narrowed. “Something wrong, Spike?”

“Hmm? No. I just remembered I have to see a couple of demons tomorrow. How about we meet at Tranquility for patrol? I might be a little late. Have to pick up something from my crypt first.”

“Sure.”

He looked back over his shoulder as they left the Bronze. The look of amused satisfaction on his face deepened.

“What are they doing?” she asked.

“The Scoobs? Yelling at each other. God, that was fun, pet. Pulling their chains like that.”

“Yeah, figured you’d like it.”

“More than like it.” He swung her around against the brick wall beside the coffee shop and kissed her breathless, his full weight upon her.

She laughed and kissed him back. “Turned you on, did it?”

“Oh, yeah. Why’d you have to wear jeans, pet? Could have taken you right here if you were wearing a skirt. But I guess it’d be too much to ask you to drop trou in the middle of Main Street.”

She hit his shoulder with a clenched fist. “Damn right.”

“Might push things right over the edge.” He laughed down at her. “Would you have let me if you had been wearing a skirt?”

She might have. It was dark and his duster would have hidden them.

“Shameless,” she muttered. “It’s only ten minutes from the flat.”

“It’ll be less if we run.”

Slayer and vamp speed got them there in no time at all. They fell into bed, laughing and tearing at each other’s clothing. The rest of the night was pure delirium.

She was still smiling in a blissful haze when she went to pick up the cell phone from Giles before patrol the next day. Giles kept starting to say something, then sighing and falling silent again. She guessed that word of their antics at the Bronze last night had got back to him. Xander had probably given him an earful. She didn’t think the girls would have said anything; they might have been stunned, but they didn’t snitch.

Willow and Tara grabbed her just as she was leaving Giles’ place and yanked her into the little courtyard outside.

“We’re so glad we c-caught you, Buffy!” Tara exclaimed. “Have you got that cell phone now? Oh, good! We’ve been trying to find you all day! At least we won’t have to go through that again!”

Buffy blinked. “Go through what?”

“Not being able to reach you.”

“What’s going on?” She could see that they were both worried.

“Riley was at the Bronze last night,” said Willow.

“Yes, I saw him. He left early. Graham yanked him outta there.”

“No, they were both still there when you and Spike left. They went after you.”

“Yeah, but nothing happened, Will. We got home without any trouble.” Buffy grinned suddenly, thinking it was a good thing Spike hadn’t taken her up against that wall the way he had wanted. Riley would probably have exploded into itty bitty pieces all over Main Street.

“You don’t understand. They heard Spike say he was going to his crypt tonight. Alone. You wouldn’t be with him. I followed them, Buff, and they were talking about teaching him a lesson.”

“Oh, God!”

Spike would be alone and vulnerable. He couldn’t fight them with that chip in his head. They could do anything they wanted to him.

The sun had gone down. Maybe he was at his crypt right now. Maybe they had caught him already.

She ran, calling back over her shoulder, “Keep Giles and Xander out of this. I’ll take care of it.”

“Right!” she heard Willow call back, but she was already a block away and running at top Slayer speed, heading for Restfield as fast as she could.

It was the worst possible luck that Riley should have overheard Spike, that Spike should have needed to stop by his crypt, that he would be alone.

She raced through Restfield’s gates. She could see Spike’s crypt in the distance, saw the door open and Spike come out, yelled to warn him. But she was too far away for him to hear her and the men were already closing in on him. Not just Riley and Graham. Six or seven others as well. Cowards! she thought, snarling. He couldn’t even fight back and still they thought they needed a whole squad to take him!

The ring of men had surrounded him now. The electric energy of tasers blazed out, obscuring her vision. But she could still get to him in time, stop them from doing whatever they planned, even if the tasers had him down on the ground.

Then she jerked to a stop in surprise, almost falling. Spike wasn’t on the ground. He had jumped straight up and backwards before the taser bolts could hit him, and was now standing with his legs spread and his hands on his hips on top of his crypt. Massive forms were falling on Riley and his men, battering at them. Demons. Riley’s men were screaming.

“Everybody stop!” she yelled, racing forward.

The demons froze. “Slayer!” one of them hissed.

“Let those men go!”

“Hold them!” Spike called, then jumped down from his crypt and came towards her. “Wasn’t going to kill them, pet. Was just gonna teach them the kind of lesson they wanted to teach me.”

“You set them up!” she exclaimed. “You knew Riley and Graham were there last night. It was a trap!”

“Damn straight.” His eyes were cold and lethal. “A trap that wouldn’t have worked if they hadn’t taken it into their heads to attack me first.”

“You’re a Hostile!” one of the soldiers yelled, then gasped as the demon holding him twisted his arm behind his back. “They’re all Hostiles!”

Buffy looked around at the demons holding the soldiers prisoner. There were Brachen and Nouris and Hadraden, even a Strivald. But they were all demons who were normally non-harmful and avoided humans.

“Told you once that I could call open season on Captain Cardboard any time I liked,” said Spike harshly. “This time I did. All the demons here lost family in the Initiative labs.”

A Brachen female snarled something in a yowling, hating voice, her eyes blazing red. Then she deliberately dislocated the arm of the soldier she was holding. He shrieked. Spike snarled something back and she shrugged, then flung the soldier contemptuously away from her. He fell into a heap on the ground, sobbing in pain.

“She said her mate died in those cells,” Spike said in that soft, deadly voice. “I reminded her that this man wasn’t the one who killed him. But I wouldn’t blame her if she didn’t care.”

“Please let them go,” said Buffy, looking around at the demons. “You have reason, but killing or hurting these men isn’t the answer.”

There was a long hesitation. Buffy held her breath. She didn’t want to have to fight these demons, understanding what drove them.

The Hadraden said, “We would not have killed, but we would have hurt, with pleasure. But it will be as you say, Slayer. Only let it be known to these offal and their like that should they attempt to harm any of us in the future, they will surely regret it.”

He released the man he was holding with a hard shove that sent him staggering forward to fall beside the soldier on the ground. The others hesitated, then did the same and started to fade back into the shadows.

“You’re letting them go?” Riley gasped, struggling to his feet. “After what they did to us?”

Buffy looked at the men sprawled on the ground. All of them were bruised and battered, and the man the Brachen female had damaged was not the only one with broken bones.

“You asked for it, Riley. You started it. I told you Spike was to be left alone.”

“We had orders,” one of the other men protested.

“What orders?”

“Hostile 17 was to be taken. The chip was to be...”

“Dr. Hazlitt!” Riley yelled suddenly. “Do it!”

Everybody whirled, then Spike suddenly screamed and arced backwards, his hands to his head.

“Spike!” Buffy leaped towards him.

“Hazlitt, run!” Riley shouted.

But whoever Hazlitt was, he didn’t get far. There was a yowling snarl from the direction of Spike’s crypt. Then a person in civilian clothes, not Initiative uniform, was flung out from behind it. The man struck the ground and rolled, a device falling from his hand. The Brachen female strode out after him and stepped on the gadget, crushing it. Spike’s scream broke off and he sank down on a tombstone, gasping.

“What is it? What does that thing do?” Buffy demanded, grabbing Spike.

Hazlitt didn’t answer, just tried to crawl away. The Brachen female grabbed him by the hair and jerked him up onto his knees.

“Speak, human,” she growled in her grating voice and Hazlitt stared in terror at her ferocious, green face with its blue spikes and burning red eyes.

“Amplifies,” he whispered.

“Amplifies what?” Buffy demanded. “The pain?”

“Yes. Orders were to get him back to the lab. Switch it to permanent.”

“Permanent?”

Spike laughed breathlessly. “Always on. That’s what he means. The chip would be constantly activated, not just when I try to hurt a human. The pain would be permanent. Until my brain burned out or I staked myself.”

“My God!” Buffy understood and was appalled.

“I recognize you now,” Spike said. “You’re one of Engelman’s team of surgeons. Get me back to the lab, you said. That gadget thing was only temporary. You were going to go in and modify the chip.”

“Experiment,” the man whimpered. “Next step. Orders.”

“Whose orders?” Buffy demanded. “Walsh is dead. So is Engelman. The experiment is over! So who would issue such an order?”

“But...He said...” His eyes moved to Riley.

“You!” Buffy glared at Riley with loathing. “You bastard! You cooked this up! You and Graham together!”

“He’s an HST!” Riley snarled.

“That’s not why you did it! It’s because I chose him, not you. Because I dumped you. You’re low, Riley. You’re vile! All these men. They’re hurt because you wanted revenge. Because I kicked you out on your ass!”

Riley realized that every man on his squad was staring at him. “Buffy, listen...”

“Get out of my sight, Riley. You disgust me. If I see you again, I might really do you harm! Take these men back to barracks and try to find a way to explain why they’re all so busted up. And don’t say it was because of Spike. Because if you do, I’ll make sure your superiors know that you used military personnel for a private vengeance and then a court martial is the least they’ll do to you!”

The demons had vanished, even the Brachen female. Only the Hadraden was left. Those soldiers of Riley’s team who didn’t have broken bones might have considered taking on Buffy, but one look at the rage in her face stifled the thought at birth. They had all heard of her now, that she was the one who had destroyed Adam. They weren’t going to go up against the Slayer, especially now that they knew they had been used. Riley flinched away from their accusing stares.

“Not Hazlitt,” said Spike softly to the Hadraden who nodded and moved to stand behind Hazlitt.

“No...please...” Hazlitt was sweating heavily. “I was just following orders!”

Riley turned to say something, then shut his mouth at the dangerous look on Buffy’s face and slunk away after his men.

“Good enough to modify the chip, are you?” said Spike when only Hazlitt was left. “Then maybe you’re good enough to take it out.”

Buffy looked around sharply. “Wait a minute!”

“Set me free, Slayer.”

“Spike...”

His eyes were blazing. “He’s a surgeon. Trained by Engelman. He can do it. It’s my one chance, Buffy!”

“But...”

“I’m sick of having to duck and hide shits like Finn,” he said violently. “Having my nose busted by this dimension’s Buffy Summers whenever she’s in a bad mood. Being shoved around by a sod with no balls like Harris. I need to be free! To be able to fight back, defend myself!”

He struck a tombstone with his fist and it split in two under the force of the blow. Looking at that though, seeing what he was capable of, only made her more uneasy

“Can’t you understand, Slayer? Even Adam did and he wasn’t even human. I remember what he said to me. ‘You feel smothered. Trapped like an animal. Unable to actualize the urges within. Like a flame struggling to burn within an enclosed glass.’ He knew. He understood. That’s the way I feel!”

She did understand. The chip had taken away everything he loved, made him unable to fight, unable to feed, unable even to be himself. He had always felt emasculated by it. But without that chip...

“Those urges are the problem,” she muttered under her breath.

“Think I’m going to go into a feeding frenzy without it? I won’t. You have my word. Why should I go after humans when I have Slayer blood on tap? And if you’re not there to supply it, I’d leave Sunnydale. I’ve already promised to do that if the other Buffy comes back, haven’t I?”

“Which only means that you’d kill someplace else. I can’t allow that, Spike! How can I?”

“All right then, I won’t kill. Feed, but not kill. I can do that. Catch and release. I swear it.”

Spike kept his promises. She knew that.

“Trust me, Slayer.” He was vibrating with intensity, his eyes burning. “Set me free.”

There was a long, throbbing silence. Then Buffy sighed.

“I trust you, Spike.”

He didn’t move for a moment, searching her eyes. Then he took her face in his hands and kissed her.

“Slayer,” he said on a long breath of relief, and there was something in his voice, something in his eyes as he leaned his forehead against hers and looked at her that was different.

Familiar, even though she didn’t know what it was.


TBC

Chapter 5


The Hadraden knew of a operating theater in the teachers’ college that would be deserted at this time of night. All the implements Hazlitt needed were there. With Buffy and the Hadraden standing over him, Hazlitt had no choice but to perform the operation and take the chip out. It was tricky work, but in an hour it was done and Spike, being a vamp, recovered rapidly from both the surgery and the local anesthetic he had been given.

“Gotta test it out,” he muttered once he was on his feet again.

“Oh, no, you won’t!” exclaimed Buffy. “You said you wouldn’t feed while you’re in Sunnydale.”

“Who’s feeding? Just want to be sure I’m really back to normal. Don’t feel any different,” he complained and she realized that the irritation and tenderness of the incision as it started to heal was no guarantee to him that the chip was really gone. “How about I go tear Finn’s head off? He only picked up a few bruises during that attack and he deserves a lot more.”

“No,” she said firmly, though she would have loved to kick Riley around a little bit.

“I could go sock the Watcher. Or clobber Harris. I’d like that.”

He was grinning. She gave him a look.

“No beating up on my friends. You’re going home. I don’t care if you’re a vamp. Having someone dig around in your brain has to have had some impact. You’re going to go to bed and rest.”

“As long as you’re in that bed with me.”

He deliberately shouldered hard into a passerby on the way home, almost knocking the man off his feet. Before, even a milder shove would have made the chip go off. Now nothing happened.

“Hey, watch it, bud!” the guy exclaimed angrily, regaining his balance.

“Sorry about that, mate,” said Spike with a huge grin on his face. “Bit wobbly on my feet here.”

The guy went off, muttering something about drunks. Spike drew a deep breath, flinging his arms out triumphantly.

“Oh, yeah,” he whispered. “It’s gone.”

He caught her up suddenly, lifting her right off her feet, and kissed her face all over.

“Spike! Put me down!” she protested, but couldn’t help laughing. “It can’t be good for you, picking me up like this until we’re sure that wound is healed.”

“You have no idea, you have no idea the way I feel right now! The chains are off and I can breathe again!” He whirled her around. “Look out, world! I’m back and I’m a bloody animal!”

Buffy shook her head wryly. “The killer. Aching to rip somebody’s head off. Well, you can’t. Not even Riley’s because he’s human. You promised.”

“Yeah, yeah. And I’ll keep that promise. But he comes near me, he’s gonna get booted clear to the eastern seaboard. Let’s go to Willy’s and celebrate!”

In the crazy-happy mood he was in, he was sure to pick a fight with somebody, which would do that hole in his head no good.

“Do that tomorrow,” she said firmly. “Right now you’re going to bed.”

He gave her a sideways, sloe-eyed look. “Yeah, there are other ways to celebrate.”

The high was wearing off though by the time that she got him home and the pain killers Hazlitt said he had to take made him sleepy. He didn’t protest being talked into bed, only insisted she join him.

“Why did you let Hazlitt take the chip out?” he asked drowsily as she undressed and slid into bed beside him. “Watcher’s gonna have a fit. You’ll be drummed out of the Slayers’ corps.”

“It wasn’t right, that chip. What it did to you. What it took away. Forcing a being, even a vamp, to go against his very nature, that’s cruel. But everything the Initiative did was cruel. It would have been kinder to have killed you outright.”

“Felt like that,” he agreed. “Almost did stake myself in the beginning.”

Only learning that he could at least fight demons had kept him from doing that.

“Knew I’d get it out in the end,” he said, yawning. “Somehow. That kept me going. The Buffy of this dimension would never have let Hazlitt take it out, whatever I swore. Why did you?”

“I know you keep your word.”

“You believed in me. That kind of leap of faith...” He touched her face delicately, his eyes shining. “You’re so different from her.”

“One learns in four years.”

“It’s not just that.” He turned onto his side to face her, drawing her to him to lean his forehead against hers. “She takes. You give.”

She put her arms around him. “You taught me that, Spike. You gave so much. You gave everything.”

“That’s the other Spike.”

“He’s you. It’s all in here.” She pressed a hand lightly over his unbeating heart. “I saw it with Dru. When you care, you give. You can’t help it.”

“Do you care?” he muttered blurrily. His eyes were closing. He was almost asleep.

“Yes.” She kissed him softly and he made an appreciative sound in his throat. “Oh, I care, Spike.”

“You give. So much. Never thought anyone would. Not to me...”

“It’s easy to give when one lo...” She broke off abruptly, not wanting to use the L-word.

But she didn’t think that he had heard her. His eyes were almost closed. He slid downwards a little until his forehead was against the hollow of her throat and his lips in the valley between her breasts. His body went lax against hers and his breathing slowed, then stopped entirely. He was asleep.

She laid her face against his hair. She was glad he hadn’t heard her. She didn’t want him to think of love between them. There was no future for them. Sooner or later, the PTB would send her back to her own dimension and bring the other Buffy back. She wanted him able to walk away from Sunnydale heart-whole. Wanted nothing to bind him, cause him pain. She wanted him free.

‘Set me free,’ he had said to her. And she would. Of the chip and of any other ties.

***

Spike was still sleeping when she went out the next day. Buffy was careful not to wake him. She had a fight coming up with Giles and it was better that she faced him and the Scoobies alone.

The minute Hazlitt got back to base, he would have told Riley about taking out Spike’s chip. The only way she could have prevented that was to have killed him or allow Rual, the Hadraden, to kill him. She couldn’t do that.

She called Giles on her new cell to tell him she was coming and, sure enough, when she got to his place, they were all lined up, glaring at her. Giles, the Scoobs, Angel, and even Riley and Graham. Riley had only a few bruises, as Spike had said, but Graham had his arm in a cast.

“You,” she said to Riley. “Out. Now.”

After one look at the icy contempt in her face, Riley went.

“And you,” she said to Graham. He was the more dangerous of the two with his quiet, prosaic competence. There had always been a weakness in Riley, a hollowness at his center. But one had to respect Graham’s unswerving loyalty, even if it was to an unworthy cause. “If you’re thinking of recapturing Spike and putting that chip back in his head again, don’t even try. You took him by surprise the last time. He’s on his guard now and he’s a very efficient killer. You and your toy soldiers won’t just be busted up, you’ll be dead. And I’ll be cheering.”

“Buffy!” Giles protested and she shrugged a shoulder at him.

“Absolute truth, Giles. Out,” she said to Graham and he went without another word. From the grimly resigned look on his face, she didn’t think any of the Initiative’s troops would be going after Spike in future. But she had Firoud watching them just in case and they would tell her if something was being planned. Those little demons made marvelous spies; they could get in anywhere and overhear anything.

“How can you condone demons attacking humans?” Giles demanded. “Buffy, I’m appalled at your attitude!”

“Those demons wouldn’t have touched anyone if Riley and his stormtroopers hadn’t attacked Spike. Spike has every right to defend himself.”

“Riley was only going to beat him up a little,” Xander snapped.

“And Riley couldn’t do it himself? He had to take seven men along to attack one lone vamp who couldn’t even fight back because of that chip in his head. Such an admirable thing to do! But demons beat him and his brave pals up instead. What a shame.”

“Buffy’s right. It is shameful,” said Willow angrily and both Tara and Anya nodded. “Did you know they were going to do that, Xander?”

Xander flushed at the way they were looking at him. “No, but I don’t blame them! Spike’s been asking for it!”

“Why? Because I choose to sleep with him instead of Riley? I choose who I share my body with!” Buffy said furiously. “What an incredible fool you are, Xander! Riley didn’t tell you everything, did he? He came here and told you what happened last night and that the chip was out. But I bet he didn’t tell you what he was really planning to do when he took seven men along with him to make sure Spike didn’t get away.”

“Really planning?” Giles turned to stare at her and everyone else’s eyes widened.

“He took one of Engelman’s surgeons along. They were going to change the setting on the chip. Make it fire continuously until Spike’s brain burned out or he killed himself. An experiment, the surgeon called it.”

“My God!” breathed Giles. Everyone was looking horrified, even Xander.

“Spike gave him the idea when he said Engelman should have set the chip to kill. But having Spike die in agony was Riley’s own idea. I had Spike’s chip taken out so that something like that would never happen to him. So that he’d be able to defend himself.”

“But he’s a vampire!” protested Giles. “He’ll feed and kill! You should be staking him, not setting him loose on an unsuspecting public!”

“He won’t kill. He promised me.”

“He doesn’t have a soul,” Angel said harshly from where he stood watching on the sidelines.. “He won’t keep his word.”

“Very big on this soul thing, aren’t you, Angel?” Buffy said scornfully. “I’ve had four more years to see the things you do with that soul. You cause more damage with that soul of yours than Spike ever did. But forget that,” she said as Angel’s mouth opened in shock. “The main thing is that Spike keeps his word. I’m surprised you don’t know that.”

Angel’s eyes shifted. He did know, but he had hoped she didn’t. “He’ll feed.”

“Yes!” said Giles. “That’s the whole point. He’s a vampire! He has to feed.”

“Not in Sunnydale. He promised me. And when he leaves here, he’ll feed, but he won’t kill. He gave me his word and I believe him.”

“Not in Sunnydale?” Angel flung at her angrily. “Do you really believe that? Do you really think he’ll go on drinking pig’s blood when he doesn’t have to?”

“Not pig’s blood and not human’s.” Buffy gave him a nasty smile. “He’ll be drinking Slayer blood.”

There was an immediate outcry. “No!” gasped everyone except Anya.

“It’s not like he needs more than a sip. Slayer blood’s powerful. I can spare it.”

“Letting a vamp suck on you!” exclaimed Xander. “That’s disgusting!”

“Not really,” said Anya and grinned at Buffy. “It’s a real turn on, as I guess you’ve already found out, Buffy.”

“Oh, yeah.”

“Ahn!” Xander gaped at her.

“You have no idea how good it feels, Xander.”

“You mean...you let...”

Anya just shrugged. “Oh, sure. Lots of times.”

“Getting back to the point,” said Buffy, trying not to grin at Xander’s appalled face, “no one hurts Spike. He and I have an understanding and I don’t want any of you taking matters into your own hands for my own good. I decide what’s for my own good and, if you have any problems with that, both Spike and I will make you very, very sorry.”

She gave them all a hard stare. The girls nodded, but Buffy was pretty sure that Giles, Xander and Angel weren’t through yet.

Giles and Xander made their move the very next day. Crossing Tranquility on his way to meet Buffy for patrol, Spike suddenly found two crossbow bolts flying at him. Neither of them reached him. Before they came anywhere near him, Spike had jumped lightly backwards. The bolts, which had come at him from two different sides, simply crossed, then plunged into the ground.

“Really, Watcher. That’s pathetic.”

“You knew?” Giles was struggling to reload as fast as he could. “You were expecting it!”

“Watcher, I’m a vamp. I can smell the two of you. And it wasn’t hard to judge the trajectory once I knew where you were standing. Don’t try again. I can have you by the throat before you even pull the trigger. Only the Slayer is faster than I am.”

“We’ll see about that!” Xander yelled. “Giles, shoot!”

Giles aimed, then found himself staring at a Hadraden.

“We really cannot permit,” said Rual mildly and removed the crossbow gently but firmly from Giles’ hands. “The Slayer does not wish Spike to be hurt.”

He broke the crossbow in half with not the slightest effort and tossed it away negligently.

“Fasra, don’t kill him!” Spike called suddenly and ran forward to where the Brachen female had lifted Xander in both hands and was poised to break his back over her knee. “Slayer wouldn’t like it!”

“But I wish to kill,” she growled. “Why do you keep preventing me?” She glowered down at Xander who was white with terror and struggling desperately. “This one would not be a loss.”

“Yeah, but he’s one of the Slayer’s friends.”

“They act strangely for friends.”

“Both a bit soft in the head,” shrugged Spike. “Especially the one you’re holding.”

“Then it would be kinder to put it out of its misery.”

Spike grinned. “True. But we are not kind, are we?”

Fasra sighed deeply and tossed Xander onto the ground. “The Slayer is too tender with these humans.”

“The Initiative sods are who you’re really after. Go kill Finn, why don’t you?”

“The Slayer says not without cause. They have given no cause. But I live in hope.” She turned and stalked away into the trees.

“Good Lord!” whispered Giles, looking after her. “Is she...are they your bodyguard?”

“Nah. Don’t need a bodyguard now that the chip’s out of my head. They’re not watching me. They’re watching the two of you.”

“What?”

“Your motives are suspect,” said Rual. “The Slayer has advised us. Should we see some weapon in your hand when you are not accompanied by her, a stake or a grenade or some other such tool of destruction, we are ordered to relieve you of it. We will attempt not to harm you in the doing, but that can sometimes be difficult as you are fragile and break easily. Fasra, for one, tends to forget that her strength is much greater than yours.”

“And she doesn’t care what she breaks,” murmured Spike.

“Buffy ordered this?” gasped Xander disbelievingly as he staggered to his feet.

“That is so,” nodded Rual.

“How could she!”

Rual jerked his chin towards the crossbows lying on the ground. “Has she not cause?”

“A Slayer setting demons against humans!” Xander snarled, outraged.

“‘Has she not cause?’” Spike mocked. “She’s the Slayer. She gives the orders. They’re only here to make sure you follow them. You don’t like it? Take it up with her.”

He whacked Xander happily across the back of his head. It was a light slap, but it sent Xander staggering forward helplessly. Spike grinned widely.

“Just a demonstration how it is without the chip. And that was just a love tap. Come at me with weapons, Rual and the others will stop you. Come at me without, there won’t even be an oily smear left on the ground, wimp.”

“I’ll...I’ll...get you!” snarled Xander. “Somehow!”

“Yeah, yeah. Try. I’ll enjoy busting every bone in your body. Just because I promised the Slayer I wouldn’t bite doesn’t mean I can’t get really physical. Promised her I wouldn’t kill you. But you’ll wish I had.”

Xander flinched and Spike laughed, then gave Giles a cold stare.

“You bunch make me sick. You think you’re exempt from everything. Even Fasra, a Brachen, has more morality than you do. You heard her. She won’t kill without cause. But you would. The only good demon’s a dead demon, right? Doesn’t matter if it hasn’t harmed anyone and doesn’t intend to. What’s the difference between you and the Initiative, Watcher, between you and a demon, if you’re willing to kill and torture the way they do?”

“You’re twisting things around!” Xander flung back.

“Am I?” Spike was watching Giles who was looking disturbed. “Still seeing things in black and white, Watcher? That’s not the way the world is. The Slayer knows that. This Buffy sees the grays. She’s using those grays and it’s working for her, isn’t it?”

“This Buffy,” said Giles slowly.

“It’s the only one you have now. And that’s your own fault, y’know. Told you Whistler’s bright ideas could backfire, but you wouldn’t listen. You’ve sown the wind. Now you’re reaping the whirlwind.”

Giles suddenly spun and walked away. Xander stared at him, then at Spike, and finally hurried after Giles.

‘And now for Angel,’ thought Spike happily, watching them go. He had promised not to harm humans, but he hadn’t promised not to harm demons and Angel was a demon. Spike was looking forward to a really good fight.

But Angel’s appearance a couple of days later was a complete disappointment for both of them. The moment he and Angel came in sight of each other, several S’Vek stepped out of the shadows and formed a wall between them. Since S’Vek were eight feet tall and weighed about four hundred pounds each, this presented a major problem to even two master vamps.

“Oh, come on, you gits!” Spike yelled. “I want to fight him!”

“Is not permit,” one of them rumbled. “Slayer say you, he, no fight.”

“Now listen...”

“We no listen you. Listen Slayer. Want fight, go speak Slayer.”

Angel and Spike exchanged deadly and exasperated glances. Then Angel turned on his heel and stalked off. Spike headed at speed towards Tranquility where he knew Buffy was patrolling.

“Okay, what’s with the S’Vek?” he demanded the minute he caught sight of her.

Buffy grinned. Spike was spitting mad, all the bones of his face standing out and his eyes blazing.

“Oh, so Angel turned up.”

“Think I have to be protected from him? Don’t like being wrapped in cotton wool, Slayer! I can bleeding well take him! I almost did the last time, but you got in between!”

“Yeah, I know the two of you would like to beat each other to bloody pulp. But I can’t let you do that. I don’t want either one of you hurt.”

His jaw came out suddenly and his eyes narrowed. “You still have a thing for him, Slayer?”

“Hey, you can dust him if you like. Personally wouldn’t care if you did. But his patron saints, the PTB, would just bring him back. They need him for some reason. The trouble is, the other Buffy will need him too. You’ll go when she comes back and I want you to go. But that leaves her with no back up for certain things that are going to happen. She’ll need Angel then. I don’t know how much use he’ll be to her—you’re the one who really helps—but I can’t take that option away from her.”

“Sod it,” he muttered, but his face had softened.

She came and put her arms around his waist and leaned against him, smiling. “You don’t really want to dust him.”

“Hate his guts. Things he did to me when I was a fledgling. Things he did to Dru. Way he behaved a couple of years ago when I was in that wheelchair...”

“I put you in that wheelchair.”

“Yeah, but that was your job. Don’t hold that against you anymore that you hold it against me I tried to take your throat out. But him, taking Dru away from me like that. Oh, there’s a lot I’d like to make him pay for! But...” He sighed. “Guess I wouldn’t really dust him.”

“He wants to dust you though. For the same reason as Riley. Because I’m sleeping with you.”

“Yeah, that chews him up. That a Buffy from any dimension would let me have her.” He grinned suddenly. “Good reason for leaving him undusted, that is. Gonna burn him for centuries that you chose me.”

“He hates you. So those S’Vek stay until he leaves for L.A. or the other Buffy comes back and you leave Sunnydale. Don’t give a damn if you think I’m wrapping you in cotton wool, Spike. I’m not going to let him get at you.”

“Care, do you?”

“Yes, I care. That’s what’s bugging them all. Except for the girls, I think. That I care for you. That I’m yours.”

His hands took her head, tipping her face up to his, twining her hair around his wrists.

“Are you mine?”

“Oh, yes.”

There was a soft, silken look in his eyes that was somehow familiar. When had she seen that? In the basement of Revello Drive before the battle with the First? She couldn’t remember. But that look was melting her bones so much that she couldn’t concentrate and think of why it should be significant.

He kissed her deeply and sensuously, taking his time so that her knees gave.

“Whoa, Spike,” she sighed. “What’s gotten into you?”

His eyes were smiling, but the heat in them was very evident.

“Want you. You through patrolling for the night?”

“I am now.”

They laughed breathlessly against each other’s mouths, as always honest and unashamed about their mutual greed.

Honest now, she thought; she had always denied it before. He had always been open about his desire, but she had always fought it and hated him for making her want him. All those issues that she had had and it had taken his death to make her realize that they didn’t matter.

“Here?” he murmured with a laugh in his voice.

In the cemetery where anyone could see them. But she wouldn’t have denied him anymore than she would have stopped him from taking her up against that wall in the middle of Main Street.

“I’d let you.”

“Would be fun.” He was grinning, his eyes soft. “But I want to take my time.”

“Oh, yes.”

Even going home was sweet. Their arms around each other, his lips against her temple, the care in the way he held her.

Something was different. This wasn’t the way he had walked along beside her before, wasn’t even the way he had teased and caressed her at the Bronze.

“What’s happened?” she asked and he tilted a brow at her as he opened the door of the flat.

“What are you talking about?”

“You’re different.”

“Am I?” He caught her belt buckle and pulled her into the bedroom. “How?”

“Let me think...No, wait,” she said as he started to undress her, his lips sliding over every inch of her skin as he uncovered it. “I can’t think when you do that.”

“Good.”

“Stop distracting me. This is important.”

“Can we discuss psychological states later?” He yanked his T-shirt over his head and flung it away. “Women, even vamp females, always want to think at the wrong times.”

“If you’re going to bring gender into this...”

“There’s only one thing I want to bring into y...uh, this.”

She had to bite her lip to keep from laughing. He grinned, stripping off his jeans.

“You’re a tease, Slayer.”

She was teasing, but she did also feel that she was missing something critical.

“Just give me a moment to think.”

“Gonna be difficult, pet. Right at the moment, I’m thinking with the wrong head.”

She giggled involuntarily, looking down him. That much was obvious.

“When don’t you?”

He pulled her against him. “And you love it.”

“Yeah,” she sighed, giving in, and wrapped her arms around his sides, loving the feel of him against her, smooth deep muscle and solid bone.

He tipped her down onto the bed, leaned over her, smiling. “Let’s go slow for once. Never done that, have we?”

They had always just about eaten each other alive before, driving each other feverishly to climax, unable to hold back even when they started all over again and it was the second or third time around. And in her own dimension, it had always been frenzy and desperation.

This lovemaking was different, was rich and slow as honey, voluptuously sweet.

He turned and twisted her to his will, mouth and hands tracing every inch of her bone structure, shaping every curve and hollow, sliding down her spine, over her ribcage, along her inner thigh. She was shuddering with delight, her bones gone molten, her skin shivering, her whole body turned to fire, sparks flying along her every nerve.

“Spike..!” Her body arched to his; her hands clung to him.

“Not yet.”

He eased her down from that moment of desperate urgency, then started all over again. Took her to that height and eased off again with a hopelessly erotic, devastatingly sweet cruelty that had her writhing and gasping helplessly.

“You’re going to kill me!”

His eyes were dark with wicked laughter and intensity. “Tell me you don’t like it.”

Oh, she liked it, stretched out on this rack of unendurable pleasure as she was. He was shuddering too. She could feel the deep tremors racking him as her own hands and mouth moved over him, clenching across his body, raking up his thighs, gripping his taut ass to try to drag him to her. But he refused to lose control, even when she tried to bite his neck, that trigger point for a vamp.

“Greedy,” he murmured, smiling, and pushed her hand away from the velvet smoothness of his rigid cock when she tried in desperation to force the pace.

He was halfway in gameface, his tongue raspy as a cat’s as it slid over her from brow to ankle, exciting her mercilessly. He lifted her breast to his mouth and sucked hard, her nipple tightening almost to the point of pain under the rasp of his tongue.

“Oh, God!” She arched helplessly to his mouth, feeling the prick of his fangs. “Bite me!”

“No. I take your blood and we’ll both explode.”

She was so turned on that it was painful. “Dammit, Spike!”

What was in his eyes as he looked down at her, laughing? She lost the thought again as he suddenly slid right down her.

She almost shrieked as his lips fastened on her clit and that wicked tongue rasped over it. Her whole body bucked and he had to hold her down, his grip firm on her hips and his thumbs spreading her. His tongue went deep, seeking out her essence, sucking and licking. Unbearable heat flooded her.

“No,” she gasped, pulling at his shoulders, trying to drag him upwards. “Want you.”

“This is for you,” he purred and that vibration against her clit almost sent her over the edge.

“Want you in me. Want your cock. Want your fangs in me. Want all of you!”

“God!” In a second he was up over her, covering her. “And I want...”

“What?”

“...everything.”

“Take it,” she whispered. “I’m yours.”

His eyes blazed. Then he surged into her in one sure, powerful thrust and she cried out. He was always just a little bit too big; the Slayer muscles of her sheath were just a little bit too tight. That first thrust was an excruciating rapture. Through the haze of her pleasure, she saw his eyes close helplessly, his lips part on a shudder of breath, drowning in sensation himself.

Then his fangs were in her neck and her whole brain was splintering in ecstasy as he took her blood and there was nothing but the pounding, driving rhythm of his body. They thrust against each other, savage and straining, almost feral now, their breath coming in little grunts of effort, moving faster and faster towards that peak just out of reach.

She came shatteringly hard, her whole body seizing up in unbearable rapture, clenching upon him with all her strength, and felt him gasp and spurt into her at the same moment.

“Right,” he muttered when the world finally fell back into place around her again. “Gonna need a little break at this point, Slayer. I’m exhausted.”

She giggled involuntarily, barely conscious and blissfully sliding into sleep. “Spike, if you dare start again anytime soon, I’ll stake you.”

“Yeah, there are bloody limits, aren’t there? Even for a vamp and a Slayer.” He cuddled her into him and she could feel him grinning against her forehead. “Sleep then.”

It seemed only minutes later that the lights flashed full on.

“What the fuck?” she heard Spike snarl beside her. They had turned off the lights when they fell asleep.

“There you are!” said Whistler. “Do you know how hard it was to track down this place? I actually had to get an override from the Powers.”

“This is our fucking bedroom, you berk! Haven’t you ever heard of the concept of privacy?”

“What does a vamp care about privacy?”

“Slayer does!”

“She certainly does,” grumbled Buffy, turning onto her back under the sheet Spike had pulled over the two of them when they fell asleep. “Hand me that sword, Spike, and I’ll take care of him permanently.”

“Fangs should be good enough,” growled Spike, starting to get out of bed.

“Hey!” Whistler backed away hurriedly. “I thought you’d want to hear the good news!”

Buffy yawned. “What good news?”

“You’re off the hook, Slayer!” Whistler beamed at her. “The PTB are bringing our missing Buffy back tonight. We can send you home right away.”


TBC

Chapter 6


“I thought it would take longer to bring her back,” said Buffy through numb lips. “I thought you said it might take years.”

“We thought so too,” nodded Whistler. “But the PTB gave this top priority. Can’t leave a Slayer floating around in limbo like that. All sorts of things could happen!”

He shuddered.

“Anyway, it’s all fixed now. It’s a pity we brought you over here for nothing. You weren’t really needed and you must be upset about that. The PTB do regret it.”

“Think nothing of it,” said Buffy bitterly.

Half in and half out of the bed, Spike had gone absolutely still beside her. She could feel him withdrawing himself, going back into his head somewhere.

“Now all we’ve got to do is pop the other Buffy back into this dimension and pop you home,” said Whistler. “How about in an hour over at Mr. Giles’ place? That should give you enough time to shower and dress, and allow me to contact all the other interested parties and get them over there.”

“It’s two a.m., Whistler!”

“So? Only makes it more convenient for those interested parties who are vamps and prefer the night. Anyone who wants to sleep in instead can opt out, but I can guarantee they’ll all want to be there for the party. Don’t be late, Slayer, or I’ll come get you,” he said with a pointed look, then vanished.

“Spike...” she whispered, turning towards him.

His face was a mask of stone and he wasn’t looking at her.

“Better go take that shower, Slayer,” he said in a remote voice. “That little sod hasn’t given us much time.”

She went. When she came out in her bathrobe, he was lying flat on his back, staring at the ceiling. At her entrance, he flung the sheet aside and sprang to his feet, then strode towards the shower himself, brushing past her without speaking.

He was angry and he had a right to be. Without even meaning to, she had used him. The same way that she had used him in her own dimension, not thinking about the consequences to him. But she had wanted him so badly, couldn’t have borne not to have him after losing him like that.

She should have thought. That was her problem. She never thought, just acted.

She pulled on the black tank and jeans in which she had arrived, moving stiffly like an automaton. Better to leave nothing behind that belonged to the other dimension. Once she was gone, there would be no trace of this Buffy Summers left in this dimension. Nothing at all.

Only her heart.

Spike came out of the bathroom and reached for his jeans. She watched him pull them on and zip them up.

“Spike?”

His head was bent as he buckled his belt and she couldn’t see his eyes, only the stony lines of his face, all the bones set hard and pushing against the taut skin.

“Yeah, what?”

She didn’t know what. There seemed to be nothing that she could say. There were so much that she wanted to say and she didn’t know which was worse—to say them or not. Her throat was swollen with words and tears, hurting her.

“Well, it’s been a slice, hasn’t it, Slayer?” He flicked her a sideways glance like the slash of a knife. His eyes were as cold and hard as chips of blue agate. “Been interesting, it has. Fucking the Slayer. Been a bloody revelation. Those Slayer muscles, that Slayer blood. Gonna miss that. I wonder whether the other Buffy...Nah, wouldn’t work. That one really is a stick-up-the-ass and has a hate on for demons.”

“You’d better get out of Sunnydale,” she said through stiff lips.

“Won’t see me for the dust, luv. Happy to be going home, Slayer? Know you were never really comfortable in this dimension.”

“No, I’m not happy to be going back.”

“Yeah, never fun going back to the old grind after a week off. But it was a nice little vacation, wasn’t it? Catch up with some old chums, do a few easy kills just to stay in shape, fuck a little with whoever’s handy, then get back home at last and forget it all. Only thing missing was the beach.”

His eyes had gone golden, their pupils pinpoints. She realized that he was dangerously angry.

“Is that what you think this was?” She was furious herself. “A summer fling?”

“What else?”

“Heaven,” she whispered.

His head came up and they stared at each other. The gold of his eyes suddenly snapped back to blue.

“And going back is going to be Hell. God, Spike, don’t you know that?”

“Why?” he said intensely.

She shook her head dumbly.

“Tell me why, Buffy. I need to hear it.”

“What’s the point? It’s only going to cut us both up!”

“Buffy...”

Suddenly they were both holding each other painfully tight.

“Oh, God,” she whispered, her face buried in his neck and her arms fierce around him. “I don’t know how I’m going to bear losing this.”

This would be the last time she would be able to hold him. She desperately tried to memorize every detail, the feel of him against her, the scent of his skin, the texture of his neck against her face, the particular configurations of ripped muscle and strong bone that would have let her know who he was even blind and in the dark. Memory was all she would have now, flung as she would be into that long loneliness of loss that was to be her life in her own world.

“Buffy,” he said in a wrenched voice. “Buffy, do you love me?”

She couldn’t speak, didn’t know what was better for him, hurt him less in the long run, to admit that she did or lie and deny it.

“You almost said it once,” he said and she heard the intensity and the pleading in his voice. “I heard you. But you didn’t say it and I wanted you to. So badly.”

“Oh, God! I do love you, Spike! So much. So much.”

His arms crushed her to him. They held each other so tightly that it would have broken bones on any other being.

“I love you, Slayer.”

That was what had been in his eyes. Tenderness. That warmth and love and devotion that had been in the eyes of her dimension’s Spike.

“I’m so sorry!” she said and her tears wet his neck. “I’m so sorry! I shouldn’t ever have started this. I didn’t want you to care for me and get hurt. I just...I wanted you so bad. I thought it would be just sex and you’d enjoy it and it wouldn’t end up hurting you. I was selfish. And now look what I’ve done!”

“Buffy, no one’s ever loved me. To know that you love me, it’s a gift. Something I never thought I would have in all my unlife. Just knowing you do is worth the pain of not having you with me.”

“I’ll never stop loving you, even in my own dimension, even when we never see each other again. You’ll always be loved, Spike. As long as I’m living, you’re loved.”

They kissed fiercely, clinging together in love and desperation.

“Stay!” he said violently. “Don’t go. Stay in this dimension.”

“I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“Whistler told me before I came. He knew I might want to stay. You heard the way he said he’d come get me if I didn’t turn up at Giles’ place tonight. He told me right in the beginning that I’d have to go if the PTB managed to bring the other Buffy back. There can’t be two Buffys in the same dimension for more than a few minutes. It’s a law of physics.”

“No such thing.”

“A law of something anyway. I forget what he said. But there can’t be two of the same thing in the same dimension. We’d explode or self-destruct or whatever, and other weird things would happen. It would be disastrous for this dimension.”

“Isn’t there something we can do?” he said desperately. “There’s got to be a way around it! What if...what if I claimed you? Would that work? It’s an unbreakable bond.”

She smiled involuntarily. There he went again, trying to find a solution. That was so Spike.

“I’d love it, but it wouldn’t work,” she said sadly. “That would bind us together, but it wouldn’t bind me to this plane. Death breaks a claim, doesn’t it? Well, so would non-existence. When Whistler sends me back, I won’t exist in this dimension. The claim would be severed and then we’d probably both die from the breaking of the link.”

He cupped her head in his hands, stroking her hair back from her face. His eyes were soft and blazing at once.

“You’d love it? You’d let me claim you if we could?”

To belong to him forever, to have him belong to her, it would be utter perfection.

“Oh, yes. Oh, yes, Spike! In an instant.”

She saw the joy in his eyes and the anguish. She felt the same. He kissed her again and again, and she clung to him.

“It’s not fair,” he muttered against her mouth.

“No way out,” she said in despair.

“How about I kill Whistler?” Spike snarled.

“Wouldn’t help. The PTB have to bring this dimension’s Buffy back. They’d only send another agent.”

There was a pop of displaced air and Whistler was standing there, frowning at them.

“Will you two get a move on? Everybody’s waiting. I do have other things to do, you know. I’m a busy man.”

Spike made a violent motion, but Buffy caught him back.

“We’re just coming.”

Spike grabbed his tee and yanked it over his head. While he was tucking it into his jeans, Buffy went to get a folder from the desk in the living room.

“Okay, we’re ready,” she said as Spike came towards her, shrugging on his duster.

“About time,” sniffed Whistler and snapped his fingers.

The next second, they were standing in Giles’ living room. Everyone was there, a bit sleepy and disheveled, but excited. They all turned to stare at Buffy and Spike, varying expressions on their faces.

Giles and Xander looked tremendously relieved. The girls looked sympathetic and a little sorry, but understandably they were looking forward to getting their own Buffy back. Angel gave her an expressionless stare, but cast Spike a glance of malicious satisfaction. Now both of them would have lost Buffy, but this dimension’s Buffy would be happy to see Angel and would continue to rely on him, while hating Spike and doing her best to dust him now that he didn’t have the chip. Riley, standing to one side, gave Buffy a look of dislike and smug triumph. He’d get his girlfriend back and this dimension’s Buffy wouldn’t care what he had tried to do to Spike.

“Let’s get a move on,” said Whistler.

“Just a moment,” said Buffy, walking past him.

“For Pete’s sake, Slayer, I don’t have all the time in the world!”

“You’re the PTB’s agent. You do.”

“Now listen...”

“Just hold your sodding horses for five minutes,” snarled Spike, his fangs out, and Whistler backed away, holding up his hands.

Buffy went over and handed Giles the folder she had brought.

“Giles, I’ve written down everything that happened in my dimension. I’d like you to give it to the other Buffy. I don’t know if she’ll follow all my suggestions, but it would be better for her if she did. Maybe you could explain that to her.”

“I will.”

“There are things in it she might not like.” Buffy’s glance slid towards Riley. “But they’re true.”

Giles’ gaze followed hers and his lips tightened.

“I’ll make it plain,” he said grimly. “I do agree with you about that.”

“And my Mom. I mean, her Mom. She has a tumor and, in my dimension, they do remove it successfully, but then she had an aneurysm and dies. Spike...Spike said he’d keep an eye out for it. But Spike’s leaving Sunnydale. So tell her to get Angel to keep a watch on Mom instead. He’s a vamp too and should sense it forming. Spike would have been able to detect it, he says.”

“I’ll tell Buffy.” Giles has a strange look on his face. He took off his glasses and began polishing them furiously. “I-I’ve been thinking over what you said about grays. Even what Spike said about demons. You were both right. Between the two of you, you’ve demonstrated very convincingly how valuable it would be to network with the non-harmful demons. I’ll talk to our Buffy about doing the same. And about seeing the grays.”

“I think that would be a very good idea, Giles. It’ll make her life a lot easier.”

“I’ve let myself become too rigid and inflexible.”

“Council indoctrination,” she said, smiling.

“Not all of it. We really have kept blinders on our eyes as you said we did to Willow. Well, I’m not too old to learn.”

“So Willow talked to you.”

“He’s going to get me a tutor,” said Willow softly at her elbow. “Things will be different, Buffy, I promise you. And I will keep working on Xander,” she added in a whisper.

“There will be some changes made,” said Giles firmly.

“Good.”

Best she could do, Buffy thought. She turned and looked at Spike who looked back bleakly. They were both suffering.

“About Spike,” she said to Giles. “He’s leaving Sunnydale. Don’t harm him before he does.”

“Not if he doesn’t harm anyone.”

“I won’t,” said Spike without interest.

“When will you leave?” Giles asked anxiously.

That made Spike grin. “Here’s your hat, what’s your hurry? I’ll leave tonight.”

Buffy gave Giles a crooked smile. “Those demons will still be watching, by the way. Just in case anyone gets any bright ideas.” She glanced at Riley and Angel. “Up to the very minute he leaves.”

“I somehow thought so,” said Giles wryly.

“Can we get this done?” snapped Whistler, fed up. “Or are the bunch of you going to jaw all night? Slayer, if you’d come stand here in the middle of the room where there’s no furniture...”

Buffy had been moving towards Spike. She stopped and turned obediently towards the place Whistler indicated.

“Slayer!” said Spike under his breath behind her.

“No way out,” she said as softly and stopped where Whistler wanted her, then turned to face Spike. They looked at each other despairingly.

“Okay, now hold still,” said Whistler.

“This can’t happen!” said Spike in a snarl of anger and frustration.

“I love you, Spike,” said Buffy so quietly that only her Slayer and his vampire hearing could pick it up. Neither of them cared about Angel watching them inimically from the other side of the room. “Always remember that.”

“Buffy!” He jerked towards her helplessly.

“Don’t touch her!” said Whistler sharply. “Why do you people always have to make my life so difficult? Will you two stop!” he exclaimed as Buffy and Spike reached unthinkingly towards each other.

Angel moved forward to yank Spike away. Neither Spike nor Buffy even looked at him, totally focused on each other.

“No need,” said Whistler, waving Angel back. “Holding onto each other won’t keep her here. Do you hear that, you two? It just makes my job harder, having to separate your essences...They’re not even listening, are they?” he said in exasperation.

“No,” said Tara softly.

“Freeze!” commanded Whistler and flicked his fingers.

Still reaching out to each other, Buffy and Spike stopped, frozen into place like statues, unable to move under the spell Whistler had cast. Whistler saw with satisfaction that their fingertips were still inches apart.

“No consideration,” he muttered. “But at least they’re not touching. I won’t have to use the extra mojo.”

“Um, Whistler,” murmured Giles.

Millimeter by millimeter, Buffy and Spike’s fingertips were closing the gap as they strained towards each other.

“By the Powers, they’re strong!” Whistler made a complicated gesture. “There. That should put an end to that. But it’s tiring.”

He fanned himself with his hat and glanced around in search of sympathy. But they were all staring at the tableau in the center of the room. Angel, Riley and Xander looked smug, Giles ambivalent and all three girls had regretful looks on their faces.

“Can’t they...?” began Tara and Whistler flung up his hands in exasperation.

“No, they can’t. Don’t you want your Buffy back? The laws are immutable. There can’t be two on the same plane for more than a few minutes. Watcher, I need a drink. That’s taken a lot out of me,” he muttered as Giles handed him a glass of scotch. “Let’s bring your Buffy out of limbo. She at least is on this plane. Shifting across dimensions is exhausting and I can use a bit of a rest before I tackle that.”

Something shimmered to one side of the room, then took form. It was their Buffy, young and tired and wide-eyed as she looked around in astonishment.

“Buffy!” everyone exclaimed.

“What are we all doing at Giles’ place?” she asked in bewilderment. “Where’s the lab? Where’s Adam? What’s happened?”

They all fell on her, exclaiming and explaining.

“I went poof? And Whistler brought me back? You mean we actually got some use out of him?”

“There’s gratitude for you,” growled Whistler resentfully and she grinned at him.

“Riley, you’re all banged up!” She tiptoed to kiss him. “Forrest really did a job on you, didn’t he?”

“It wasn’t Forrest,” murmured Giles. He heard the girls make an encouraging sound behind him. They wanted him to go on. “It was demons.”

“Demons!” exclaimed Buffy. “Oh, poor Riley! And I wasn’t there to stop them!”

“It’s not important,” said Riley hurriedly before Giles could go into more detail. “Forget it!”

Giles gave him a sardonic look and fell silent. There was a small, scornful smile on his lips. He was biding his time. Distracted right now, Buffy wouldn’t listen. But sooner or later, she would read that file the other Buffy had left for her. And if she didn’t believe the things it said about Riley, Giles would make sure she did. He hadn’t missed what the older Buffy had inadvertently blurted out about vamp hos and ultimatums and Sam, and his own opinion of Riley had suffered a major reversal after what Riley had tried to do to Spike. Giles was determined to open Buffy’s eyes to a man he now distrusted and despised.

“Angel!” Buffy was exclaiming. She had finally seen him. “You came to help! That was so good of you!”

“Of course I came to help,” said Angel, stepping swiftly to her side. Over the top of her head, he and Riley exchanged hostile stares. “I’ll always be there if you need me. You can count on me.”

“That’s so sw...” She stopped short abruptly, seeing the tableau in the center of the room. “That’s me! But that’s not me! She’s older. What...?”

“She’s Buffy Summers too,” Giles explained. “But she’s from another dimension. The PTB sent her over here to take over your duties until we could get you back. Whistler’s going to send her home in a minute.”

“And that’s Spike! Why is she with Spike?”

“She, well, she has, er, had a...a relationship with him.”

“With Spike? Eww!”

“I’ll see that ‘eww’ and raise you a ‘yechh!’ Oh, it’s so good to have you back, Buffy!” exclaimed Xander with profound satisfaction.

“Something’s happening!” said Willow sharply.

Whistler swung around sharply and gasped at what he saw. Buffy and Spike’s straining fingers had crossed the gap and touched.

“That’s impossible! No one’s that strong! How are they doing that?”

“Maybe their love is that strong, Whistler,” said Tara softly. “Maybe nothing can keep them apart.”

The spell broke in a rush. One second their fingers were touching, then their hands had clasped, then a moment later they were locked in each other’s arms.

“Being in different dimensions will!” snapped Whistler and flung out his hand to cast the spell that would transfer Buffy over.

A bubble of golden light suddenly surrounded Spike and Buffy as they held each other, blocking the spell. Whistler staggered backwards from the backlash, shaking his hand in pain as if it had been burned.

The golden globe vanished. And so did Buffy and Spike.

“What? No!” exclaimed Whistler. Then in complete shock: “The PTB interfered!”

***

“Where are we?” Spike stared around in bewilderment over the top of Buffy’s head, still holding her possessively tight.

Buffy was looking around too. It was her hotel room in London.

“It’s my dimension!” she whispered. “Spike, you’re in my dimension! The PTB must have done it! Whistler wasn’t going to send you with me. The PTB must have done it themselves!”

“You mean, we won’t lose each other?”

She shook her head, so happy she was unable to speak.

He laughed suddenly, joyously. “Then I can stop wanting to rip their throats out! But aren’t I supposed to blow up or something if I’m here?”

“You won’t. There’s no other Spike here. You’re the only one. Spike, they’re giving you to me!”

“Got more sense than I thought, those PTB blokes, even though they’ve got that weird hangup on Angel. But I was yours already, Slayer.” He grinned down at her, his eyes intensely blue. “And you’re mine. All we need is the claim to make it official.”

She gasped as he tipped her back onto the bed and leaned over her. “Right now?”

“Why wait?” He went abruptly serious. “I’ve waited a hundred and twenty years, Slayer. Wanted to be loved longer than that. And here you love me. You have no idea what kind of miracle that is to me.”

“Oh, I have an idea.” To find him alive again had been a miracle. To have him loving her again was an even greater one. She hadn’t dared to hope for that.

He bent and kissed her, his mouth demanding.

“You’re the dream, Buffy. The dream I’ve had all those long years. I’m scared to lose it. Need to grab onto it, bind you to me. You said you wanted it. Didn’t you mean it?”

She wrapped her arms around his neck “I meant it.”

There was a pop, then the room was full of people.

Spike snarled onto his feet, in full gameface. “First Whistler, now these berks! This is our bedroom, not Grand Central Station! Doesn’t anyone have any notion of privacy?”

Buffy leaped hurriedly off the bed herself, grabbing at him. “Spike, wait!”

“Something always gets in the way! What’s next? A bleeding apocalypse?” His gaze finally focused on the faces of the intruders. “Sodding hell, it’s the Attack of the bloody Clones!”

Buffy giggled helplessly. “This dimension’s version of...”

“Can’t get away from them, can we?”

“Buffy, are you all right?” Willow exclaimed. “Dawn said that Whistler had taken you somewhere and there are so many dimensions that we couldn’t find you. Then your signature finally popped up back here and...”

“Dawn said?” Buffy turned in surprise as Dawn pushed her way to the front.

“They yanked me out of school because they were all freaking,” Dawn said in a long-suffering voice. “I tried to tell them there was nothing to worry about. You said on the phone you were going dimension-hopping and, hey, what’s that for a Slayer? I knew you’d come back safe! You always...Spike?”

She squealed, hitting a pitch that could have shattered glass. Spike winced.

“She’s gonna make my ears bleed,” he muttered, then jumped back hurriedly when Dawn threw herself at him. “Uh, yeah, I’m Spike. Who the bloody hell are you?”

Buffy caught Dawn and pulled her away. “Dawn, he doesn’t know you. He’s from the other dimension and he doesn’t have a clue who you are.”

“You don’t know me?” Dawn’s chin wobbled.

“Sorry, pet. Not that I wouldn’t like to,” he said hastily as Dawn’s eyes welled with tears.

“She’s my sister,” explained Buffy.

“Oh. Well, then I’d like to.” He grinned at Dawn. “Always wanted a kid sister.”

“You always acted like my big brother. And then I was so mean to you and...and...”

“Well, you weren’t mean to me, pet, just to the other Spike. So there’s no need for the waterworks. Ready made family, huh?” he said to Buffy. “Kinda like the idea.”

“When you said you’d go to any lengths to get him back, you weren’t kidding, were you, Buffy?” said Willow, her voice gentle and teasing. “A whole other dimension?”

Buffy laughed. It looked like Willow at least had come to terms with Spike being around. Xander looked ambivalent, but he too didn’t seem really opposed.

It was Angel and Giles who were scowling at Spike.

“Buffy...” Giles began.

“Don’t. Even. Start,” said Buffy. “I’ve got him back and nothing’s taking him away from me. Anyone who tries gets removed from the face of the planet.” She held out a hand to Spike. “How do you feel about becoming a rogue demon hunter, love?”

Their hands met and interlinked tightly. He grinned down at her, his eyes full of laughter and tenderness.

“Sounds like fun.”

“You can’t waste your time like that!” Giles protested. “We need you in Rome, training Slayers!”

“Don’t care what you need. What I need is Spike.”

“He can...” Giles closed his eyes as if severely pained. “He can go with you. He can help train the newly called Slayers. We’ll even put him on salary.”

Buffy raised her brows at Spike. He shrugged.

“Can always walk if we don’t like it.”

“True. Well, why not?” said Buffy. “We’ll try it for a while. But we can talk about all of that tomorrow, Giles.”

“But...”

Buffy was looking at Dawn. “Do you have a place to stay tonight, Dawnie?”

“I’ve been staying with Willow.”

“Good. We’ll come talk to you all at Willow’s tomorrow. But tonight Spike and I will be busy.”

“Maybe I shouldn’t be hearing this,” muttered Dawn.

“Claiming each other,” said Buffy softly, smiling tenderly at Spike.

His eyes flared.

“No!” exploded Angel.

Spike looked at Angel’s enraged face and laughed in pure satisfaction. “Deal, poofter.”

“Winner and still Champion,” grinned Buffy. “Angel, we have nothing more to say to each other. Take them all away, Willow. Spike and I want to be alone.”

Angel stepped forward furiously, but in that moment Willow’s power flared white. The room was suddenly empty.

“Where were we?” purred Spike, shucking his duster and Docs.

“I think you had your fangs in my neck.”

“Oh, yeah.”

He scooped her up and dropped them both onto the bed, his face vivid with laughter and triumph, his irises intensely blue around the black smoulder of his expanding pupils.

“All you said you wanted was a good fuck,” he said. “Should have known better. Should have known I had no chance against you. Not from the beginning. You don’t play fair.”

“Not when it’s this important,” she murmured. “Are you complaining?”

“Not when it’s everything that I ever wanted.” He stroked her face lightly, his touch delicate and caressive as never before on the fine bone structure. “I love you, Buffy.”

“And I love you, Spike.” She stroked the planes of his face too, cherishing him, and saw his eyes darken and grow helpless. “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

“That we’ve both been set up? Yeah.”

“By the Powers.”

“Evil, innit?” Spike grinned. “I’m starting to like those sods.”

“They were sneaky. They didn’t even tell Whistler. He didn’t know. I’m sure of it.”

He twisted to allow her to push away his clothes, drew hers off as smoothly.

“Would anyone tell that hamhanded git? It was a tricky game they were playing, those PTB, manipulating the two of us like that. Needed delicate handling, it did. If you were setting it up, would you want him around going wink-wink, nudge-nudge all the time, and coming up with his sodding bright ideas that always screw things up? Would have put me off proper, I tell you. I was edgy enough as it was, with the Slayer coming on so strong. Damn nearly cut and ran, figuring there had to be a catch in there somewhere.”

She ran her palm down his throat and he lifted his chin a little to give her better access. She brushed her lips across the junction of his neck and shoulder, sucked lightly on the skin there and heard the little sharp exhalation of his breath, felt him tense against her.

“But you couldn’t pass up all the sex and Slayer blood.”

She felt him smile against her temple. “Weak-willed.”

“No. It had to happen. Because, you see,” she bit him sharply and felt him shudder with pleasure as she licked his blood, “you’re mine. You always were.”

“Always, Slayer,” he breathed and pushed her head sideways. She saw the wonder and awe in his eyes. Then his head came down and she felt that little silken thrill as his fangs slid painlessly into her neck. “And you’re mine.”

“Forever.”

Something caught them up, wove them together—mind, heart, body, all their separate pieces fitting into each other, interlinking so smoothly and completely that it would be impossible ever to separate them again. They were one being and neither time nor distance would disunite them.

“Oh, yes,” she whispered, feeling him shudder and jolt against her, feeling his joy and amazement. He too hadn’t known what it would be like, even though he was a vamp, hadn’t experienced that perfection of communion.

“I can feel you loving me,” he said breathlessly. “It’s the dream...”

It was the dream fulfilled for both of them.

“Why did they do it?” he said incredulously. “The Powers. Why should...”

“You’re my reward,” she murmured.

He gave a little spurt of helpless laughter. “Never been a reward before.”

“Well, you are.”

“If that’s what I am, then what are you supposed to be?”

She held him tenderly. “Maybe your redemption.”

He looked down at her, his eyes vulnerable and shining with love.

“You are,” he said. “You are.”


The End